Grey Thoughts

+Transcript

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Just Conversation podcast. The show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. I am your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I am your host, Christina.

Jack: And if you haven't. Not yet. Not done it, you should its goats to the subscribit button to click its and get notify. It's the moment new episodes are released.

Cristina: That's horrible.

Jack: That's how they talked in the olden days.

Cristina: No, I don't know. They did talk horribly. Also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions. Any views on topics we discuss.

Jack: Yes. So be sure that since the holidays are coming, the great hot. Is it a holiday? Whatever. Easter is on its way to find a loved one and get chocolate. Cuz Jesus is gonna steal your eggs and rabbits. Yes, something like that.

Cristina: That's how you sum up Easter?

Jack: That's how I sum up Easter. There's nothing wrong there. Think about it. Think about it. That makes total sense.

Cristina: Jesus was a rabbit.

Jack: Jesus. When's Easter tomorrow?

Cristina: I don't know. It's very soon. Could be tomorrow. I don't know. I don't know. Easter's on a Sunday, isn't it? Easters are always on Sunday.

Jack: Easter's on the fourth.

Cristina: Fourth. Yeah. Oh, it's called Easter Sunday.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, got it, got it, got it. So Easter's tomorrow. I mean, I knew it was coming up. I didn't know exactly when it was coming up. I just knew it was coming up manana tomorrow.

Cristina: The great Easter bunny.

Jack: But yeah, so I'll summarize. For anybody who doesn't know, we've talked about Easter quite a bunch on show. This is sort. It's an Easter show.

Cristina: That's what it. It's an Easter show.

Jack: Yeah. The whole podcast is centered on Easter.

Cristina: Specifically.

Jack: Specifically, all we do.

Cristina: It's a Christian show.

Jack: It's a. It is a Christian show.

Cristina: Talk about Christ a lot.

Jack: Like we talk about Christ a lot. People, if you don't believe this is a Christian show, then you're out of your mind. Because we talk about God all the time. It's crazy how much we talk about Satan all the time.

Cristina: I didn't mean to say Satan. I meant saints.

Jack: We talk about saints and Satan, Lucifer.

Cristina: I guess we'll talk about all of them.

Jack: God, I don't know. Anyways, I'll summarize. I'll summarize what Easter is so the people understand. Once upon a Time there was a man who used to steal all of the eggs. And in the past, if you are familiar with history, eggs were valuable. Owning a chicken meant a lot. So you had chickens and that was a valuable commodity because you could produce eggs, which means you had eggs to eat. But there was this carpenter who used to hang out with a bunch of thieves and killers, liars and schemes.

Cristina: He was one of them.

Jack: He was one of them. He was part of a band. There were 13 of them, sometimes 14 if you count the woman that used to chill with them. The w****. If you count the w**** that used to chill with them.

Cristina: She wasn't a w****. I read that she wasn't a w****.

Jack: People don't know that. People, people swear she was a w****. Anyways. People used to hang out with a.

Cristina: Bunch with a different w****.

Jack: He used to hang out with a bunch of criminals, murderers, liars, cheaters, stealers, and a w**** and a f****** w****. And he, he was the con artist of the bunch.

Cristina: He was a magician.

Jack: A magician. He used to con people, trick people, steal their watches off of their wrists while showing them a magic trick and then show it to them. And when he returned their watches, he robbed their wallet. He was a genius at what he did.

Jack: This man was known, Jesus and Jesus as his side hustle because he was such a slick guy. He would go to farms where people had chickens and it would be like, yo, I show you a magic trick.

Cristina: But he, he's a carpenter.

Jack: He's a carpenter. That's his cover.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: So he would use that as a cover. Like, I'm gonna build you a farmhouse.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Build your farmhouse. And that farmhouse you can keep your chickens. Let me see the size of your chickens and I'll know the size of the coop that I built for all your chickens in the farmhouse.

Cristina: All right? And then what does he do?

Jack: He' I'm gonna need the keys for your chicken coop so I can build you a bigger chicken coop and move your chickens and you're not around so you don't have to do the hard work. I do all the work. And then they're like, yeah, here, just come when I'm, I'm at work on Sunday. You can come on Sunday and you can, you can take the chickens and put them in the other thing. After you build me the new coop, bro, I'll pay you. He's like, I take money in advance. He's like, I got you, bro. Use some money in advance. I expect that job done. And then he's like, yeah, I'll do it.

Cristina: And he doesn't do it.

Jack: He does not do it. He just shows up and he steals all the eggs that that man was gonna sell to make money. And he got the money from the man who paid them to do the job. He doesn't really do carpenter s***, so he just got the money, didn't buy any materials. But he got the eggs too. Eggs. Cuz the guy wasn't there. He gave me keys for Sunday. He was at work.

Cristina: Oh, he was on work. Okay.

Jack: Yeah. Jesus just got all the eggs. Con artist.

Cristina: Con artist. Okay.

Jack: So eventually Jesus got killed for the egg stealing. He got super murdered for stealing all the eggs all the time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But some chemist somewhere made a concoction and gave it to him. And he's like, look, they can crucify you. You take this, it's gonna look like you're already crazy, unenergetic. They're not gonna kill you themselves. They want the suffering to happen. So you take this, you're gonna look more hurt than you really are. Then you're gonna. Your heartbeat is gonna be undetectable. They use this in the future all the time to hide, you know, like a guy named James Bond is going to have. And they're going to think he's dead. So you use this and they'll think you're dead while you're on the cross. And then we come down, take you, take you to a hole somewhere. And then when you recover.

Cristina: Why are they doing that for him?

Jack: You come. Because they're the homies.

Cristina: Oh, they're one of the tall.

Jack: And then he comes out of the thing. And then he started stealing eggs again. And people were like, no, he's been resurrected to steal eggs. His. His spirit has unfinished egg.

Cristina: That's when they decorated. Because they were hiding it from him.

Jack: Then they decorated all their eggs as colorful stuff. And then they also made chocolate shaped like eggs.

Cristina: They were like, to confuse him even.

Jack: More, use them so that if he did find the eggs, it was 50, 50 chance he would just open chocolate and be like, these aren't even eggs. These are just.

Cristina: And he's allergic to chocolate.

Jack: Yeah, exactly. So that's the truth about Easter.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And from then forward, every Easter, we hide our eggs and try to confuse people by also hiding chocolate so that if Jesus hits our place, there's a. Like, what are the odds he doesn't want to anymore? Because he knows there's a 50, 50 chance he opens that and dies.

Cristina: Is he showing up as a rabbit, like, dressed up in a Rabbit suit.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Yeah. That's where the rabbit comes in. Totally.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That's his disguise he used because as soon as after the resurrection he got caught, he needed a disguise. So he would pretend to be. Yeah, he would show up in a giant rabbit suit and try to steal it.

Cristina: Because everyone has to think he's dead for good.

Jack: Yeah. He needs to keep that. The lie sold.

Cristina: Yeah. So he can still steal eggs. Okay.

Jack: But since he's allergic to chocolate, that's gone way down. And there's only one Jesus. He can't be everywhere at once. It's not like he's good or something. So, you know, that's why we celebrate the comedic nature of that one time in history that some dude named Jesus was stealing all the eggs.

Cristina: Crazy F A X facts. Yeah. True story.

Jack: True story, man. Nothing but wokeness going on there.

Cristina: Did you get that story from the Bible?

Jack: No, the Bible lies.

Cristina: The Bible lies.

Jack: I was filled with lies.

Cristina: What kind of lies?

Jack: All of them.

Cristina: What is the main lie? Is there a main lie? I guess they have too many.

Jack: No, no, no. There is a main lie.

Cristina: There is a main lie.

Jack: There was a God. And then the whole Bible is centered around that one lie.

Cristina: What if there was a God?

Jack: It wasn't the God they're talking about. Or I guess the main lie is God was the good guy. Right.

Cristina: God, who was the person.

Jack: Like we just saw that thing earlier about how God killed 2 million people but Satan only killed 10.

Cristina: 10.

Jack: Like I feel like this clear measure here of who's the bad guy. What?

Cristina: I guess killing people is alright.

Jack: Destroyed towns with fire, the firstborn of many. An entire flood that just wiped out all existence.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Lucifer 10, God 2 million.

Cristina: Yes. Well, the Bible didn't lie about that.

Jack: No, it totally didn't. This is saying God is like we, this is the good guy. Oh, he's the good guy.

Cristina: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Try to confuse us and trick us about who? Right is wrong, left is blue, you know?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Try to f*** it all up.

Cristina: What if we're supposed to think killing is good?

Jack: What?

Cristina: What if we're supposed to. To believe that killing was good?

Jack: I mean, then why can't we kill? Why can't we go out and pop some mofos? He made himself in our image. What, he's copying us.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You know, it's funny that that statement in general just totally lends itself to the fact that. Or he made us in his image. Right?

Cristina: He made us in his image. Yeah.

Jack: Then he made Jesus in our image.

Cristina: No, he Made Jesus in his image too.

Jack: Yeah, I guess.

Cristina: No, I don't know how Jesus was made.

Jack: Jesus was a poop.

Cristina: Magic.

Jack: A magic poop.

Cristina: He's a. He was made without a semen. He's just.

Jack: No, there was. It was holy semen.

Cristina: Holy semen.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: How?

Jack: He's God. He could be everywhere at once, including inside you.

Cristina: He had like a magic semen floating inside Mary. Yeah, yeah. He or many his.

Jack: Let's. Let's be real. On top of the number of deaths he has committed, like the murders he's done, he's kind of guilty of raping Mary, right?

Cristina: I guess. She doesn't say that it's rape though. She's happy about it.

Jack: She said I was impregnated by the Lord.

Cristina: Maybe he asked for it. Maybe.

Jack: Nope. No, she was shocked.

Cristina: She was shocked by it. Oh, no.

Jack: Sorry. If Jesus. Mary was an alcoholic or a drug addict or some s***. And she blacked out. She was consistently wasted and she blacked out because even Joseph was like, I didn't f****** pregnant her.

Cristina: Oh crap.

Jack: Yeah, she was some sort of drug addict. Which kind of fits a suit that he would grow up in the slums being just an architect or what the was he carpenter. And that he would hang out with a bunch of criminals because that's the environment he was raised in. His mom was like a drug addict.

Cristina: What was his dad. He was still around, wasn't he?

Jack: He was trying to support his family, but it was probably an alcoholic. Oh, they didn't own s***. That's why they slept in a barn.

Cristina: It was her cousin's barn or something. I forgot it was like a family.

Jack: Yeah, they didn't own crap. They were. They couldn't even go to a stranger because they couldn't even buy a place or like rent a room or something like, here's some coin, let me stay here. They can go to a motel. They had nothing.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So they were like, okay, just cuz your family, go sleep with the animals. I'll give you at least a roof.

Cristina: That's where they lived.

Jack: I don't know where the f*** they lived. I know that's where they had Jesus. Jesus of Nazareth. Which means he was in Nazareth. That was Nazareth. Is Nazareth in Jerusalem. Whatever. Anyway, so yeah, Easter. All of this is related to Easter.

Cristina: Related to Easter history.

Jack: History. Informing of Easter is coming. Informing of Easter is coming and. Nah. But all jokes aside, Easter is about the resurrection.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Are we sure about that? Easter is the day he came back.

Cristina: Yes. Wow. Probably not sure. Probably not 100% sure. Because no one's 100% sure about anything in the Bible.

Jack: Yeah, like he was actually born in the summer.

Cristina: Yes. So none of it's for sure.

Jack: So he died three days before Easter. What a coincidence that he'd come to life on Easter.

Cristina: Yes. Wait, he died three days before.

Jack: I mean, he was resurrected on Easter? Yeah, three days after he was crucified. So, yes, he died.

Cristina: I don't know. I thought for some reason Lent was when he died and that was like a month earlier. I could be wrong about that then. I don't know.

Jack: Yeah, look, look, I don't know how religion works, okay?

Cristina: How long can you stay dead and then come back to life? How long is it okay for a dead body? Like, after a year, it's gotta be too long, right?

Jack: After a couple of hours, it's too late. If you're dead 10 minutes, it might have been too long.

Cristina: Oh, really?

Jack: Yeah, you come back with brain damage.

Cristina: Oh, do you think he came back with brain damage?

Jack: H***, yes.

Cristina: That's why he died immediately after.

Jack: Yeah, he just came back to life, screamed his lungs out and then just died again. He screamed like a severe r***** scream and then just died again.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Yeah, luckily there was nobody there to see him. They just thought he moved and were like his soul left his body.

Cristina: But they saw him go to heaven, his body disappears or something. I don't know.

Jack: I'll explain that. The truth is, that dude was a vampire. That's why he could levitate.

Cristina: That's why he can levitate. Who says he can levitate?

Jack: Vampire logic says he could levitate.

Cristina: But did he levitate?

Jack: Yes, that's how he walked on water and that's how they saw him go up to heaven.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: He was levitating. You're literally talking about him going up to heaven. I'm like, he levitates and you're like, what?

Cristina: Well, I feel like levitating is, like a few inches from the floor and going up to heaven is, like, much higher.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: It's an extreme.

Jack: Why did you put a cap on levitation?

Cristina: Because that's how magicians, they don't go very high up.

Jack: Oh, I feel you. You're equating him to a magician.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That's fair.

Cristina: Well, I guess for him, with his.

Jack: Vampire powers, he's a super mega, ultra vampire.

Cristina: Super. Wait, say that.

Jack: No, in reality, he's the first vampire.

Cristina: He's the first one.

Jack: He's the first vampire. I don't know how the h*** it happened.

Cristina: It wasn't God related.

Jack: No, it was. I mean, he could have. He could have been. I mean, this. He could be Dracula, like the real Dracula, what Dracula was based on. And so we know he was a man of faith or whatever. In the original story of Dracula, Dracula screams at the sky is like, his wife died or something. I don't remember how the story was. Something like that. Right. He was asking for her to come back or like, I'll sacrifice me or whatever. And the curse he was given was. D***, I don't remember his story at all. Whatever. Dracula yelled at the sky as a God or something. And he was given vampirism. Vampirism. He was turned to vampire.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And so Jesus known notoriously for being a very God centric man, in fact, so God centric, they were like, you're the most God centric man. And that definitely lends itself to him having been screaming at the skies, a God, God, please help me. And then he got given abilities which began to show themselves around the age of 30, not his entire life.

Cristina: What? That's why it starts there.

Jack: Yep. It begins when he was baptized by John Baptist.

Cristina: Mm. That was one of his friends or whatever.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Or becomes his friend after. I don't know.

Jack: Everybody's. His friend is Jesus.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And after he. He goes through the baptism where he accepts God and whatever, weird things start to happen. Weird things start to happen.

Cristina: Like what?

Jack: Well, at the beginning, he starts to be. He seems way too charming to people. Absurdly charming and beautiful. Beautiful man. A beautiful man. He's perfect. He's immaculate. He's gorgeous. He's perfect.

Cristina: Yes, like a vampire type of transformation.

Jack: And over the time, over time, he just kept, you know, talking to people. And now again, this lends itself to the fact that he was already some sort of con artist and knew a couple of tricks. But now he has this absorbent charm that people can't even control themselves around. They'll cry just by looking at him. So beautiful. It's phenomenal. And then he would also perform nifty tricks. And then people just started, you know, he's the most entertaining, funnest, greatest, kindest man ever. And he's beautiful and gorgeous. And his following just kept growing and growing. And he started actually building two different types of followings. One, the mass following of the general information that would float around. People would keep passing the knowledge of this man. Oh, he's so exciting. Oh, he's so interesting. Oh, he's so awesome. I would say. You would say? You tell them, they tell him so Far, So far. But then he had the personal net group of people, convicts and murders and thieves and whores that he already hung out with, and they became even more integral to his group. It's possible that at this point, he was already a vampire. It was, like, immediately after the baptism that he was given these powers that we start to see more and more of as time goes by. And his homies, assuming they're really his homies to that degree, and they weren't all so convinced by him.

Cristina: But they weren't vampires.

Jack: No, I don't think they were vampires. I think they were just ride or die as h***. They're like, you know, the code of the criminal. It's always together. And so he was like, if I figure out how this works, I'll just try to turn you guys too.

Cristina: Was he drinking blood?

Jack: Not yet.

Cristina: Not yet.

Jack: He does eventually tell them, like, you guys, you know, you do things right. I suppose we can all be this. We can all be immortal. Which he tells him consistently. There's immortality. There's immortality. I'm immortal. There's immortality. And we get told the story that the commoner on the street gets told. Oh, give yourself to the sky, and after you die, there's immortality. Yeah, this is a weird little tale you get told so that if he shows up at your house and says, I'm gonna kill you so that you can reach your immortality.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Okay.

Jack: So I'm gonna consume you within me. As you've heard from everybody else, within me is the immortality. Through me.

Cristina: There is immortality through him eating you.

Jack: Well, he doesn't use those words specifically, but when he gets there, you're like, do whatever you have to want immortality. And then he could do whatever. And he also establishes very vampiric rules he didn't establish, but for whatever reason, he needs you to accept them first. Before he can come in, you need to welcome this man inside. Otherwise, he can't. And he's already a criminal. He steals eggs, bro. He breaks into wherever he needs to.

Cristina: Well, he. Maybe he doesn't break in because in your example, the egg stealing, the.

Jack: He had to trick a guy. Well, no, before he was a. Oh.

Cristina: The egg ste was.

Jack: Before the sag ceiling was. Before he was still using his carpenter skills to do stuff.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: But after the baptism, he needs to use his conning skills to get into the house in the first place by getting you to agree to let him in. And that's how he would get into your home.

Cristina: Amazing. What? But he no longer needs eggs. Though, Right.

Jack: He no longer needs eggs.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: His castle in Transylvania has all the chicken coops he could ever imagine.

Cristina: He also has a. Okay.

Jack: But in this time of him doing this, occasionally not everybody gets killed or drained raw of blood. Sometimes. Occasionally somebody survives and they come back with the story of. And then he cut his wrist and told me to drink his blood.

Cristina: What? That's not a story. That's a story.

Jack: And in. No, that's not a real story. Obviously some parts of this are made up.

Cristina: That'd be really interesting if that was in the Bible.

Jack: S***. Maybe. You know what? Yeah, no. Yes, totally. So eventually some people started coming back with the story. He would cut his wrist and drip into their mouth. Because drinking the blood of Christ is the way to immortality. And these people really did become immortal.

Cristina: While they were alive.

Jack: While they were alive because they became vampires. If you drink his blood, you get immortality. Keep in mind through the beginning he had to experiment and find out how things work.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And he was doing that effectively.

Cristina: So his buddies might be vampires.

Jack: So his buddies eventually became vampires. When he figured that out, then they would preach that you need the blood of Christ.

Cristina: So they were just selling his blood.

Jack: Well, now they're mortal. They no longer need to scrap for anything and they got crazy powers. But then this becomes another problem is face here. The apostles were also seen as incredibly charming and lovable to the point that some of them continued to commit crimes even after they were with Jesus. And that's an interesting little duality that's there. That they would preach the holiness and then go and openly crimes and s***. Yeah.

Cristina: How many of them were still committing crime?

Jack: Two of them.

Cristina: Oh yeah.

Jack: Peter and John. No, it's not. John was another one. Peter's another guy. And yeah. So there is definitely a. An interesting narrative that forms there. And it became kind of dangerous when the two different groups there was again the apostle group, the Titanic group.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then the bigger group of just the fans. And there were. So I guess a third division of groups happened where it was really close. Then the like other ones he personally interacted with but wasn't in his circle. And then the people who've heard of him, the people who've heard of him became a danger.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: Because they heard about people really achieving immortality. And so now they need to convince everybody so that if, if everybody around me is on board, then it's more likely it's going to reach me. And I want the immortality. So by any means we gotta force everybody to believe it so that he's More prone come our way. And that's where violence begins to happen and religious warfare breaks out.

Cristina: For this Jesus blood. For this Jesus.

Jack: That's where the Jews versus the Christians happen. Except the Christians didn't have a name yet.

Cristina: That was during his time though. Like he was alive while they were fighting or like they knew.

Jack: Yeah, there was definitely a left and right going on. And they wanted immortality. They didn't know what it really meant. Only as closest of homies understood the true depth of where this went. They were all already monsters of different, different sorts. All vampires. Twisted contorted minds. Because of their abilities, they could just con anybody at any moment. They could charm anybody, convince anybody to do anything. But they also had unique abilities that came with that.

Cristina: Like what?

Jack: Like the way vampires do, man. All vampire abilities.

Cristina: Do they have any non related vampire ability like ability that vampires don't have? But still you can see it as maybe some type of vampire power that just never has been mentioned in other stories.

Jack: Not entirely sure. Perhaps. It's definitely a possibility. They did have eccentric abilities that kind of varied in different ways. For example, the thing Jesus did in turning the water to wine.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That wasn't like a vampire thing. But also as a con artist he could have understood that red dirt underwater shooken up in clear water would turn the water red. You could just claim it as whatever it's like, oh, there's still worms and s*** in there. Don't drink the wine. I was just proving a point. You know there were tricks. And as he was a con artist, he had a little more trick, a few more tricks in his bag than his homies did.

Cristina: Yes. So you talk about his first in.

Jack: General abilities that they had. First of all that crazy superficial charm they have that catches everybody's attention. Hypnosis.

Cristina: Hypnosis.

Jack: The well known vampire hypnosis. If he stares into your eyes, he's caught you. Well, you are a victim. That's it. You are caught. There's nothing you could do. You will find him beautiful, gorgeous. Interesting enough. The people who were most against him were the people who never stared him in the eyes.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Political figures who were angered by what he was saying, that weren't in contact with him, that were at a distance from him.

Cristina: Yes, they just heard about him.

Jack: Then when they managed to successfully get him on the cross, the only times they saw him is when his eyes were already down and weak and all these things so they could look at him and to not be caught. It wasn't just looking at Jesus.

Cristina: He has to be looking Back looking.

Jack: Back, which creates an interesting dynamic there that kind of lends itself to the fact that he was probably a f****** vampire.

Cristina: Okay, did you find anything related to the sun?

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Like weakening him or hurting him or.

Jack: Oh, yeah, definitely. That leads to the crucifixion. He also had healing abilities, which is his most common trick.

Cristina: He was healing people.

Jack: He was healing people left and right now. There are two different kinds of healing abilities that vampires possess. One is the typical. You know, I hold my hand over your body or whatever, and poof, like magic, it's gone, which Jesus did do. But also his blood.

Cristina: Oh, his blood.

Jack: The notorious one. Not only was it healing, but it provided immortality.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And then small traces of his blood are healing, which is why you get fed that crap in church.

Cristina: What about his skin? Did it have healing properties, too?

Jack: His skin contains his blood. You know, it's just a dry version of his healing DNA that you can carry around. It's harder to do that with the blood. It's just a carryable version of him.

Cristina: That's so creepy.

Jack: But, yeah, he can regenerate because he's a vampire. So he can cut it off as much as he wants and then always be back.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It's just a logical exchange. He was the original. So if he dies, all his homies lose their powers. You know, the vampire Elijah Kill the king.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Everybody else is reverted.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So his flesh is the only flesh that could turn others.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Okay, so they needed his flesh and they needed his blood. He could make his home his vampires. But they can't make others, all right? Only he can.

Cristina: That's why they were promoting his.

Jack: They were promoting his blood. And he probably donated some of his blood so that they can spread it out amongst people to prove the power of his blood. Not enough to turn them into anything.

Cristina: Just to heal them, but to heal.

Jack: Them and prove the strength of his blood. They also had healing powers, but they didn't have something that they can just give. You walk away, you take it, everything is gone for you. You can see now. You drank some of that. Now you can see. You've never seen a day of your life. You were bor. Born blind. Now you have sight. That kind of crap.

Cristina: That's crazy.

Jack: So that's the healing, obviously. The vampire, immortality. So long as you have the nutrients and thing you need, you cannot die of natural causes. You have to be killed.

Cristina: Probably.

Jack: Self healing, which is how he, you know, cuts his skin off and then gives it. He'll heal that right back and the more he feeds, the more he heals. And through hard times, he could do that repeatedly.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: With the exception of when he was on the cross. Because they bound him, he couldn't heal. He also has pyrokinosis, which is well known. The vampires could do that. Is controlling fire.

Cristina: He's controlled fire.

Jack: There's two instances in which this happened. One in which he used fire to telepathically communicate. Moses.

Cristina: That was him.

Jack: That was him through the fire. And the other one in which he teleported into a furnace to speak to some men who were being burned alive. Yes.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: Chances are they did get burned, but he gave them his blood while they.

Cristina: Were there so that they wouldn't die.

Jack: So they wouldn't die. He was always true to the homies.

Cristina: Okay, and those are some homies.

Jack: Those are some homies. We don't know how exactly, but they were his followers and he was loyal to them. He made sure his army stayed strong as well as there was Saddam and Gomorrah, the two cities that he successfully wielded enough power. Now, this takes place in the past from him. But assuming his powers bridge the gap of time somehow because he was predicted to be born or be created at some point.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This creature of immense power would come to be. It's possible that his abilities stretch far and beyond that he could rip fire from the skies and slam it right into a city. Unless, that is signs that there were vampires before him.

Cristina: Then he wouldn't be the first.

Jack: Then he wouldn't be the first. But he is an original, just like whatever other vampire.

Cristina: Yeah, that's a really powerful vampire.

Jack: Yes. And the possibility there lies that it's one of the original children of Adam and Eve or Enoch himself. So Adam and Eve's children featured three individuals, one of which. Well, there were a bunch of others, but out of the boys, there's Cain, Abel and Seth. We hear a lot about Cain and Abel, but we don't hear a lot about Seth. He's brushed aside, other than being mentioned, but mentioned enough to wonder why. Why was. Why. Why did you mention this child at all? The theory is that he was retracted, like many of the other books from the Bible.

Cristina: Yeah, his character was retracted.

Jack: His character was retracted. He was removed from the text. It's possible Seth was the first vampire, then Enoch and then Jesus.

Cristina: What were they around these. The time with the cities. Or they would have been ancient vampires by then.

Jack: They would have been ancient vampires by then, allowing them to perform these duties. They would be so overpowered at that point we're looking at Jesus in from when he was 30 to when he was 33. So his powers are three years old at max. He was still learning how to use them.

Cristina: Oh, that's so sad.

Jack: If we see Enoch or Seth, we're talking some of the first living things ever.

Cristina: So thousand.

Jack: Well, Seth would be. Enoch would be closer to the time of those cities being attacked.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: While Seth would be the ancient one here.

Cristina: So he would probably have the power.

Jack: He would probably have the power to just rip fire from the sky and land it on top of these cities. So it's possible that he was the first. Additionally, there is levitation, which allowed Jesus to levitate when they saw him, quote, go to heaven, unquote. And when he walked on water, his most fantastic miracle.

Cristina: Walking on water.

Jack: Walking on water. And additionally, there was also dream manipulation.

Cristina: Like he'd be in other people's dreams or he could.

Jack: Yes, he would be in other people's dreams and he would show himself in visions to people. So he would communicate and they would dream about him and they would think of him at random moments and he would talk to them through these almost telepathic dreams, dream like states. And they would know about him before he even presented himself.

Cristina: Cool. I didn't know about this. In the Messiah, he was in their dreams. So if he's Jesus in that show, does that mean he's talking to them in the dream?

Jack: Yes. He could have really been doing that. He would. In the Bible, he would send them.

Cristina: Cryptic messages related somehow.

Jack: Yeah, in the Bible, he would send them cryptic messages. Sometimes it was direct, but sometimes it was weird imagery that made no sense to the viewer until they were explained by either Jesus himself or they heard a story about something that happened that happened in their dream that kind of pieced it together for them.

Cristina: So that was a Jesus thing. Oh, my God.

Jack: That was a Jesus thing. And additionally, he had animal control.

Cristina: Animal Control. Can he turn into animals too?

Jack: We have no proof of that. But he did have the ability to get animals to behave as he wanted.

Cristina: And people saw him talk to these animals or something. He.

Jack: Animals that would just behave around him.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: As if he was thinking for them and going back to situations in which we have weird scenarios. Assuming there are ancient vampires at the time of, like Moses, we can see every animal in the world suddenly start moving towards a singular ship ahead of a fantastic flood. Because it's gonna start. Start raining endlessly.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Which could have also still been a vampire doing this.

Cristina: Moses, Seth or Seth. Okay.

Jack: And so he got into the head of every single creature and started moving them to the ship so that whatever we can get on board, we do get on board.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. Because he knew that the flood was coming too.

Jack: He was probably the one who warned Moses.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Of course, Moses attributed to God, but it was just Seth. Like, there's crap's about to hit the fans. My fault. Seth probably did it himself.

Cristina: He flooded the world.

Jack: He flooded the world at this point, Such an ancient being seeing such heavy corruptions. Like, I can cleanse this in one shot.

Cristina: That's why burning the town could be him and drowning the world. Okay. That's.

Jack: So a lot of the events we've seen could definitely be Seth creating the very extremely godlike things of giant floods and fire from the sky.

Cristina: Then eventually he goes up because there's no.

Jack: I'm not saying he gave up.

Cristina: What?

Jack: He could have been killed. What?

Cristina: I mean, I guess that's a possibility, huh?

Jack: Weaknesses. Following everything that Jesus went through, there is the possibility that the church was familiar with stories of vampires and hadn't seen one in a long time. Maybe they knew of somebody who once killed a vampire. The possibility that that was Seth, incredibly high at this point. So they're out there and they've done it, and they record the history of how they did it, and they store it somewhere in case we've never seen another vampire. The only one we knew about was Seth. He converted a couple of people. We got rid of them, but the ones we didn't disappeared. Once we killed Seth, we stored the information on how to do it. We have that safe. Guy pops up, starts doing very familiar things. I've read about something like this before. I'll go to library. I'll check to see what we have stored in there. This kind of thing. And then they come across the things Jesus was doing. And they're like, a lot of this. A lot of this measures up to what we saw with this other guy.

Cristina: With the other vampire.

Jack: With the other vampire. And so they start trying to convince people this isn't who you think it is. Just like, don't buy the crappy selling. Let it be. Don't buy what he's selling.

Cristina: Are these are the same people that end up killing him?

Jack: Yes. These are the Jews that are like, this isn't like. Right. You people don't understand what you're playing with here. You don't see how wrong it is that he wants you to drink his blood or eat his flesh. You don't see how that's problematic? People were brainwashed. They didn't know the difference. They were already charmed. So they didn't understand the charm part. You didn't get that that was a factor in there until somebody read about it and they're like, we can't even break these people out of it. There's one way to break this spell. There's one way to break the spell.

Cristina: Which is to kill Jesus.

Jack: Which is to kill Jesus. So now they gotta look into how they killed Jesus. And that's how we get to his weaknesses. In the book of whatever ancestors they had that successfully killed Seth, the first vampire, or Enoch, if it was him, they came across some basic details. One, stakes can weaken a vampire. They're crazy strong. You're gonna need a freaking army. But if you can get stakes into them, you will weaken them.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Also sunlight. Sunlight is definitely their enemy. Which tells us we've probably seen as a con, as a natural con artist. He was already a person who relied on shadows and darkness to create illusions.

Cristina: So you might have been like.

Jack: We might have been seeing most of his activities at night, which is why it was hard to just see him walking on the street. He would show up.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Common trope of coming to drink blood in the middle of the night is when you do that. But who are the people who need to ask permission to come into your house? The vampire. Which means he was doing this at night. Because vampires do these things at night. We already have similar behaviors connected to Jesus that all happen in nighttime. Being a con artist, hanging out with criminals, and the typical vampire. Bullcrap. This man was just behaving at night.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Sleeps in the day, behaves at night. When he was a carpenter, he could work in the daylight, but when he was doing his other things, he would do it at night, hanging out with his criminal buddies. So he was used to it. And then he becomes a vampire and develops the weakness of sunlight. And so it was already normal. Nothing seemed to change in the perception of others. He was already a interesting, elusive guy who would just hang out in the shadows most of the time with criminals of different sorts of. So that didn't affect him too much. The other weakness he had is he needs to be invited into your home. He can't actually recover from anything if he can't get to you.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: There is a vampire rule that he cannot break even if he wanted to. Some force stops him from being able to just violate the rule of going in.

Cristina: Yeah. And the church knew all that.

Jack: And the church knew these three key details. So the Church started making moves. They set traps with stakes so that they can get stakes into him. And they disguise these stakes. The stakes he was crucified with were a mixture of bone and wood.

Cristina: What?

Jack: They look like bone, but they had the wood that he needed in his body to weaken him.

Cristina: Okay. So we thought they had. Why did he need bone?

Jack: To disguise the steak.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And they set up armies in nearby proximity to Jesus when they were trying to catch him. It wasn't just two, three people came and arrested Jesus. They had to stage in case he tries to flee. We can get him.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And with the help of some people, some whips laced with the stakes merged with the wood and the bone. They had shackles with spikes made of the wood and bone that they could put on him. He didn't know these shackles were like that. So they come in to arrest him, and he's in front of people. That was part of the problem. We need an audience so that he can't do his thing. And everybody's spell is broken because they realize he's some freak of nature.

Cristina: Yes. Okay.

Jack: So then he willingly is like, sure, yeah, okay. Thinking I'm gonna escape tomorrow, whatever.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And then they put it on him, and he's like, holy crap, what just happened? And he feels his powers just drain from his body.

Cristina: From the stakes.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They put some on his legs as well. They give him the cross. They beat the crap out of him. They know he's not gonna die. None of this is gonna kill him. What is the sunlight?

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They make him continuously get weaker and weaker by dragging his own cross the field where they're gonna crucify him. Then they put him up and they nail. Because somebody could just come and remove those stake. Those stake shackles.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they. They put nails made of the same material right through his hand, nailing him to the cross through his hands and through his feet so there's no way he can get out. And they leave him there so that the sun will rise eventually and kill him. It's the only way we could get rid of it. That's it. The only way.

Cristina: But it doesn't.

Jack: It doesn't get rid of him because he's dying when they take him off of it. We don't see that part. But then they take him to the best place where somebody can reward a vampire can recover. He needs to be on dirt.

Cristina: His friends did that, though.

Jack: His friends did that. His friends took him down. These are also lose their powers. Yeah, they're gonna. They take him down they take him to a tomb, dirt and rock all around him. And they bring him some blood covers there. They bring him some blood. They give him some blood. They close it so nobody could go in there. They just say, he's dead in there. He's dead. He's died. He's died over.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And he recovers while he's in there. They give him some blood he needs to regenerate his normal vampire regeneration rate as he rests. Three days later, today on Easter, he's fully recovered.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And people just start seeing him walking around. They're like, what the h***? We saw this guy die.

Cristina: And then he does the levitation to heaven thing. Or.

Jack: No, he.

Cristina: That's not part of the story.

Jack: Yes, but they see him walking around and they witness his presence. And then he tells them, knowing that now the church is going to be informed that they failed, they're going to do it again. But now he knows, he knows they know. So he's like, nah, this ain't good.

Cristina: So he has a plan to get.

Jack: The h*** out of there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Now, as he's established his plan, he tells all the homies to plan. Look like, as long as I'm alive, you guys can retain your abilities, but I can't be here anymore, try to kill me. So you guys just need to be under the radar, be normal people. Do your miracles or whatever, but don't. Don't exceed your reach. They know how to take us down. There's more of them than there are of us. Okay, so I'm gonna do a nifty. My final con. The final cut. The final score, guys, the final score. They're like, yeah, the final score. And then we have the montage of Ocean's Eleven where we see all the characters start to set it up. Yeah. First they're gonna get an audience done. Then they show, like, f****** Peter. Getting people together. Yeah. Like, we're gonna bring people in and we're gonna. You gotta pass flyers to get everybody coming. Look, Jesus gonna be leaving or whatever and share all this information anyways. Eventually, people witness him levitate into the skies. His goal was, I'm gonna go over the clouds and then fly the h*** out of there.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So they see him go up and they're like, oh, he went to the heaven. Seems like obviously there's space up there, but they're idiots and they don't know that. So I'm just go high enough so they can't see me. I. Mm. And that's how he landed in Transylvania and changed his Name to Dracula.

Cristina: Ah, so he's Dracula.

Jack: He's Dracula.

Cristina: But Dracula, is he still alive?

Jack: Probably could be. Maybe.

Cristina: Because in the story he dies.

Jack: We don't know.

Cristina: That's the story. Yeah.

Jack: Jesus also died.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. That's just a story.

Jack: Jesus also died in a story. What a coincidence.

Cristina: You don't know what parts of the story is true or not. Okay, so.

Jack: Yeah, but that's kind of interesting, right? The people were so severely brainwashed by this man that they couldn't sort of break away even as there were other people. Like, you're crazy as h***. This is clearly not what he's claiming to be, brainwashed. Yes, they are. But also whatever. The church that formed around these apostles made sure to sling this forward. And they managed to create some sort of concoction out of his blood by finding alchemists that could replicate the exact composition of his blood and then pass that forward to use it to keep people both brainwashed and heal people with the blood of Christ. And they can also. They no longer have the access to his flesh, but they can take little breads, drip his blood onto it, and preserve that successfully without the fear of blood coagulating inside of a container and becoming useless.

Cristina: And that's the bread that they're feeding in people.

Jack: That bread.

Cristina: So people are going into the church to get brainwashed.

Jack: Optimized the system so that it could function without Jesus's involvement. I don't know what happened to the apostles. I don't know if they're dead, if they're alive. We can't trust the Bible because the Bible has a bunch of. They need him to be dead in the Bible. That's his narrative.

Cristina: Yes. And they probably need the apostles to be dead because that's. They're gonna live forever. So.

Jack: So we don't know really what's happening. And I still don't know which of the two was the older vampire if that's the case. Unless, again, Jesus power is so exaggerated, he can reach backwards in time. I guess it's kind of a stretch.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But if that's not the case, then either Enoch or Seth.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Were vampires. And it makes more sense that it would be Seth because of the magnitude in which the events were happening with the flood and the fire from the skies and the firstborn of people dying. Like he could just do the crazy things.

Cristina: He was killed. That's crazy.

Jack: And once Jesus pieced that together, he's like, there's no way I'm winning.

Cristina: Yes. So now he's hiding.

Jack: He's hiding. He's like, I'm not dealing with this crap. Which explains the need to quote, resurrect, quote, unquote, fly up to the sky or whatever the h***.

Cristina: Yes. And that's where Thanksgiving comes from.

Jack: Not Thanksgiving, Easter.

Cristina: Easter. Oh, Easter. That's where Easter comes from.

Jack: Yeah. And so there's a bunch of crap like that. The Bible is filled with a bunch of individuals that could have potentially have been following Jesus. Have been individuals.

Cristina: That makes sense. The church is making monsters. Why not?

Jack: Yeah, we've already established that the church makes monsters pretty regularly just to get.

Cristina: Rid of the monsters. They know how to create and destroy monsters. That's what they do.

Jack: Yeah. Church is crazy. Now, it's possible that Muhammad was also a vampire because he went through a lot of the same events. It's also possible that Jesus didn't immediately go to Transylvania.

Cristina: Oh, crap. He was trying to do the same thing somewhere else.

Jack: Yeah, he was trying to make different movements in different places. He would start get the ball rolling and go somewhere else. And it didn't even need to be the same religion so long as he had a following of people who would continue to consume.

Cristina: And it's just easy to get really, just people on board or something.

Jack: Yeah. And it's not that he was doing anything malicious. It's just he's a monster. And if you think of like Dean's mentality from Supernatural, it's like, if it's a monster, you f****** kill it. It might even be good. Doesn't matter. You kill it.

Cristina: Kill it.

Jack: And so he wasn't like doing anything horrible. He was doing nifty magic tricks and giving people health, like, okay, whatever.

Cristina: But he was probably drinking people's blood.

Jack: He was totally drinking people's blood.

Cristina: We don't know if he actually killed people in the process.

Jack: I think he probably did, so. Yeah, they probably did. So fair enough. Fair enough. I guess the trade off is he would eat people who weren't his followers. But give those who were probably blame.

Cristina: It on demons or something.

Jack: Probably did. So that's probably the whole story behind Lucifer.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like it was some other evil thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Probably talked about himself third person and called him Lucifer. Some thing is drinking your blood in the middle of the night. You got marks on your body. Check your body. I bet you do. They do. It's like, yeah, you see, you're letting demons into your home. You should let me into your home. Crazy little do they know, they already let him into you. But it's like you, you haven't Been hit by demons yet? Give it time. Unless you let me save you.

Cristina: That's so crazy. But where else has he been?

Jack: A bunch of places. But it's just the same story over and over. It's the same story over. Anytime you see the same story of a creature being revived or whatever, he's probably coming with the stories from his land. It's not that the events happened again, but rather he comes and tells us, you know, casually talking with somebody, you know, suave or whatever, and he just lets it slip and he's like, oh yeah, this happened. Like, holy crap, you're some kind of God or something. It's like, I guess I am. And now you got a whole. Hey, man, this Muhammad guy said he was like crucified or. So he died, came back three days later. You mean the guy who healed Bob just by waving his hand? Yeah, man, I think he's God or something. And so just that crap happens all time. Because Jesus as a con artist, he's kind of a narcissist. You can't help but keep talking about himself. So everybody eventually finds out and then whole new God. So it comes to be.

Cristina: Yes, but he doesn't mind having a different character that he's playing because he likes it. Because he.

Jack: Okay, little by little he kept fading away. Until now he's known as Dracula. Hiding in some castle where nobody could disturb him anymore.

Cristina: Cool.

Jack: And those are just woke facts right there. The truth about what this glorious day named Easter is.

Cristina: It's beautiful.

Jack: Yes. And he has his giant castle filled with chicken coops where he has all the eggs.

Cristina: I guess he drinks their blood now.

Jack: Chicken blood.

Cristina: Chicken blood, probably. Yeah. Maybe that's how he survives now. Chicken blood.

Jack: Why not? It's the true woke truth behind all of it. Yes, and I know that's just. So now you guys are all informed on how this works, I'm sure that it's very interesting to think that Seth might have been the original vampire. He was mentioned and ignored afterwards. Same thing with Enoch, who's briefly mentioned and ignored. But we can find the whole book of Enoch. And there was an original book of Christ, allegedly written by Christ called the book of Emmanuel, which was his original name. And they his name is mentioned, but the book can't be found. We could find the book of Enoch and his references to the book of Emmanuel, but there is no book of Emmanuel, which is an interesting problem that the church at no moment addresses.

Cristina: No, they say it's lost or something.

Jack: No, never existed.

Cristina: It never existed.

Jack: It never existed. It's mentioned. Like they missed removing that part.

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: It's mentioned as existing in the Bible.

Cristina: Yes. Well, not the Bible, the Enoch.

Jack: Oh well here's the problem. The Book of Enoch is mentioned as existing and you can find the Book of Enoch.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Now in some of the books that were removed from the Bible, of which there are 60 something different books completely retracted.

Cristina: In those books you can find mention.

Jack: Mention of the Book of Emmanuel.

Cristina: Why didn't they at least edit those?

Jack: I don't know. So you can find the mention of the book but you can't find the Book of Emmanuel. As if it doesn't exist. Exist. Like it was perfectly erased from all of existence.

Cristina: Interesting.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: They did that on purpose. Come on.

Jack: They did that on purpose.

Cristina: What could be in his book, the Book of Emmanuel? What? What kind of crazy stories does he have?

Jack: That's nuts, right?

Cristina: Yes. Oh man. There's nothing for sure.

Jack: Nothing for sure. I've extensively tried to find this lame and I can't find any of it.

Cristina: What do the other books say about his book though? Do they give any hint to they.

Jack: Reference having read the Book of Immanuel? People held and people read the Book of Emmanuel. There was a true text written by Jesus Christ himself, Immanuel. And it's gone.

Cristina: But we have proof that people did read this text.

Jack: Yes. Obviously we got to assume if everything written in the Bible is bullshit to begin with. But if there was truth to any of it, there has to be truth to all of it. In which case there was a book by Jesus and that book has been completely destroyed and removed from existence by the church. So no matter what, there's a suppression effort that predates our current time.

Cristina: Of course. That's so crazy. Like the whole aliens might have written the Bible or inspire the Bible.

Jack: You mean like what's his name, Michael Horn was talking about?

Cristina: No, the thing we heard from mysterious Universe.

Jack: I don't remember. Anyways, I hope this has excited you all for Easter. That's tomorrow. I hope you guys have Russian buy some eggs and make sure some of them are chocolate. Jesus gonna come and steal your eggs. You don't want him to eat your chocolate eggs.

Cristina: But if you find Jesus though, can you ask him to turn into a vampire?

Jack: Maybe. He'd probably be down. He's not. He's a cool a** dude. He doesn't give a crap. Whatever.

Cristina: That'd be pretty cool.

Jack: It's just a sort of game you play.

Cristina: There's also a chance that he might just suck all the blood out of you and you die.

Jack: Also a problem.

Cristina: There's a little risk in that too.

Jack: But the whole thing is just a game you play because of the days that Jesus was stealing eggs. It's in honor of Jesus stealing all the eggs. And you hide them so he doesn't.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Anyways, if you guys want to hear more lovely things about Jesus Christ, of which we only have nice things to say, an infinite number of episodes that all include us talking about religion in depth and many other type of topics of many different sorts.

Cristina: Related.

Jack: Yeah, we're definitely way more informed than the church. The church listens to us.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: Anyways, if you want some of that stuff, you can find all of that on the official website, grey thoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcasts.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok at just convopod.

Jack: Yes, send us some nifty messages. Talk to us. Well, not. Not us. We're not even on that. But, you know, talk to people who work with us and they'll tell us stuff or whatever the crap. I don't know. Just.

Cristina: We'll talk to you through this.

Jack: Yes, we'll. They'll tell us what you said and we'll come and talk crap about it on this end. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review.

Cristina: It and let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes. If you have friends that love holidays and religion and they love God and they show them they love the true history of God, we speak woke truth.

Cristina: See?

Jack: So you tell them about this episode and they're gonna be like, thanks, man. I knew you were a cool one. I know you were real one. This whole time, bro, you never questioned my faith. You never mocked me. I know you don't believe in God, but I respect that you respect that I do believe in God. And I appreciate you giving me this Christian, this very Christian episode, talking about God and Easter. I. I appreciate you, man. They're gonna love you way more for it.

Cristina: Yes. And this has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal, and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye. First in the welders come. Anyways, in my weird searches through the Internet, I came across a. An ad. And the ad had no words. It had two cups on each side. And then somebody started pouring white fluids into one, into both of them. And then one of them stopped, like, halfway. And then the other one kept filling up, up, kept filling up, kept filling up. And then on the screen, it showed up got c**. And then they showed a bottle of some pills you can take to increase your sperm count. And it said more come more fun.

Cristina: Is more come more fun?

Jack: I mean, I don't know if somebody likes to be glazed the up. I guess I like to be treated like a donut. Like a glazed donut.

Cristina: Okay, so they're not selling don't come though?

Jack: No, no, no, they're not. They're selling the pills that make you produce more c**.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So you can shoot milky loads at people.

Cristina: And this is advertised?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cristina: What was it like through YouTube?

Jack: No, no, no, no. Just searching the Internet. You click on weird things and eventually occasionally they spam you, you know, in the little side things, which is like, well, this is some f***** up ad or some s***. And so, yeah, there was a c** production ad.

Cristina: Was that the weirdest thing you've seen.

Jack: When it comes to that? Yeah, that's probably. It was an ad for pornhub.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.

January 16, 2021

Rambling 116: Bloodsuckers

January 16, 2021/ GreyThoughts.Info

Just Conversation, BLood Sucker, Horror, Vampire, Chupacabra, Alien, Ghost, Demon, Witch, Catholic

Are all blood sucking creatures shapeshifters or is there a more sinister hidden agenda by a large global organization at play? Unpacking Bloodsuckers and their possible origins.

Continuing their investigations into shapeshifters, Cristina befriends and bribes one of them by offering the lives of several Sub-Humans in exchange for information on others of its kind. Once the beans get spilled, the secrets revealed become greater than either of our two heroes could have ever anticipated. Find out what secrets were revealed and who is behind the creation of all these creature on this episode of Just Conversation.

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

The Catholic Church
Bloodsuckers
Shapeshifters
The Boogeyman
El Cuco
Monster Creation
Witches

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Cristina: Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to. To get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner, so be sure to grab somebody and force them to listen to the show with you. There is no options in their lives.

Cristina: I thought that was the last year's thing. I thought we were doing a new thing this year.

Jack: Changed my mind.

Cristina: What, so you're gonna force people to listen to our show again?

Jack: Yes. They only have to do it once.

Cristina: Every time?

Jack: No, Just once.

Cristina: Once?

Jack: Yeah. This is mainly for new listeners.

Cristina: But how? Wait, so the new listener is gonna get a friend?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: That will also be a new listener?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: How would the new listener know they have to pause the show? Like, I thought it was something that they already knew to do because they were already listening?

Jack: I don't know. No, they just. Look, they're listening to the show, then they go make somebody listen.

Cristina: But then they're not a new listener.

Jack: They were when they heard this.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. And then that's it. And then the next time they hear you say it, to do that, they don't do it because they already. Then they're not a new listener. Once they've accomplished it. Once.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Once it's done. Once you're good.

Cristina: Okay. Okay. But for the whole memory thing, that's.

Jack: Every episode, or is that once that happens every episode? I guess.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Okay, just checking. I've been busy doing some Illuminati stuff, man.

Jack: You've been busy doing some Illuminati stuff?

Cristina: I've been investigating bloodsuckers. Like, we were talking about vampires and werewolves. I had to go look for more that must be in this family of transforming creatures that don't really have a shape, but they, you know, like, they transform and they drink blood. That's the two things. Mainly, that relates where I'm hoping that relates to all these creatures together. So I was stalking them, which stalking is more like I became friends with them and sacrificed some of our employees to get to know these guys. And I want to talk about them. The first friend I made, his name, I'm going to call him Leap upon, because his name is in German, and I don't know how to say it, it's like off hocker. But we'll call him Leap upon because that's what it means. And they call him that because he leaps upon people like on their back and they rips their throat out.

Jack: This is a bloodsucker?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Yes, yes. Well, he bites into their throat to drink their blood. So yeah, alright, so my friend Leapy doesn't have an actual form, or at least he doesn't let us see it. All we know is that he can shapeshift into animals and humans. He likes to tear the throats out of people. He likes beating into people's necks. That's his favorite spot.

Jack: For what?

Cristina: For blood, for power. I don't.

Jack: So he's not eating the neck, he's drinking the neck. Drinking the neck.

Cristina: That's what I'm assuming. They compare him to a vampire. So I assume that he's drinking blood from the vamp. From the person.

Jack: Yeah. But he doesn't identify as a vampire.

Cristina: No, no he doesn't. He can't be killed. And sunlight and church bells scare him like they do vampires. I don't know what, why they have that in common, but they do.

Jack: Spells scare vampires?

Cristina: Yes. In some stories.

Jack: I am unfamiliar with this.

Cristina: Yes. And the sunlight. You know about the sunlight? Yes, yes. Well, the. The leaper, Leapy is also afraid of sunlight. He likes to walk around abandoned roads in the dark of night, of course. And he likes to transform into dogs or saddle. Ladies. I wonder if he looks like a werewolf too. Like is that dog abnormally big?

Jack: The dog he turns into?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is the dog humanoid? Should be the question.

Cristina: Humanoid? Is that like the werewolf?

Jack: Yeah, like a big two legged hand having human eyes. Human eyes? Wolf cross looking thing with one leg.

Cristina: Missing because it's pretending to be a tail.

Jack: Not while standing upright. That's when it's running?

Cristina: Yeah, yeah.

Jack: When it's just standing upright, it's revealed itself.

Cristina: Yeah. It's crazy because whoever it's attacking on this lonely road can't see it. So how do they know? I mean, I guess some people have gotten away from it. As long as you run to a church, you'll be safe, I think.

Jack: As long as you run to a church?

Cristina: Yeah. Like you cross the line of whatever is the holy church place and the abandoned road or whatever you're traveling on. If it's chasing you down, I think it jumps on your back and it pulls you down, like gets heavier and heavier on your back. And if you make it though, it can't cross so you live.

Jack: Do you have to Be running from it or can you. Like, if you're in a car, is it going to break into the car?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Like, what. What extent are we looking at here?

Cristina: Yeah, I think you. You have to be walking. Think he just got to be walking this road alone.

Jack: So he's not like unbelievably fast where he could catch you in a car.

Cristina: Yeah. I wonder if there's some motorcycle accidents because he jumped on. He tried to jump on their back or whatever during that. That'd be crazy.

Jack: Like he'd need some accuracy for that.

Cristina: Maybe he has the speed of a dog. How fast is that?

Jack: Not faster than a bike.

Cristina: Not faster than a bike. Oh, how about a regular bike?

Jack: Like a bicycle? Yeah, I think, I think a bicycle could outrun a dog.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Then you're safe. Unless you're.

Jack: You gotta be like really going in though, on the bicycle.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: We're talking like fast, fast, like speed bike type s***.

Cristina: Yeah. But you won't know that it's chasing you until it's on your back. So.

Jack: Yeah, you wouldn't be driving like exuberantly quick.

Cristina: Yeah. So it'll get you. And then you're just gonna have this painful thing trying to suck the blood out of your neck until you cross to the church.

Jack: Seems s*****.

Cristina: Yeah. In Belgium, there's a hellhound that also does kind of the same thing. So it could be a different form of this creature, but they give it a different name because it's in a different place. So it could still be leapy hanging out over there, but they call him something else.

Jack: So you're telling me he himself is going to these places?

Cristina: Yeah. And he turns into a hellhound who stalks the roads and does the same thing over there that he does in Germany, which is ripping out people's necks. That's his favorite thing.

Jack: Like, what are the origins of this thing?

Cristina: I think vampires.

Jack: You think it's just a vampire origin. So he's basically like a legit shapeshifter.

Cristina: Yeah. Or like, I guess it's more to do with dead people than anything of what is happening with dead people. Are they really dead?

Jack: Are dead people really dead?

Cristina: Yeah, I think that's the fear of just, what if the dead person isn't really dead? And then all these stories come out of that.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting, yes.

Cristina: Other people describe it as a zombie or a type of vampire or werewolf. We already talked about vampire, but for the zombie werewolf thing, I guess for werewolf, because it could turn into the form of a werewolf, actually. So it does I don't know. I. Yes. But yeah, in Germany, it can also turn into a werewolf. In Germany, there's another being. I think it's the same creature, is a type of. This being. It's the name for. I think anyone. Dead people, ghosts, zombies, all those things. They're called Ones who Walks Again.

Jack: Ones who Walk Again, yes.

Cristina: That's how they refer to the zombies and the ghost stuff. And they usually come to. They believe the dead person returns to the world of the living, usually to cause problems and scare people and for revenge. A lot of it's revenge stuff.

Jack: So they're basically just like unfinished business type of ghosts.

Cristina: Yes. Yes. And they also might think that the. The. What is the Leaper dude is one of those things.

Jack: So now the question here is they think it's a human who died.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then becomes a sort of an anomalous thing.

Cristina: Or this thing could take the form of that human who died.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Because it is a shapeshifter and they don't really know what it really looks like.

Jack: Fallout vibes for days.

Cristina: Fallout vibes, yeah.

Jack: Replacing people with synths that are identical.

Cristina: Yes. So it could be that. Who knows?

Jack: Interesting. So it replaces the person, essentially.

Cristina: Yeah. In parts of Germany, they also think that the dead people have telepathic powers. In the grave, they gnaw on their own clothing and that somehow drinks the lifeblood of people that they know somehow. So it's a kind of vampirey thing. But they're not really sucking blood or anything.

Jack: I don't get why they're biting the clothing.

Cristina: Their own clothing. I don't know. Because that's the only thing they could shoe on. So they shoe on their own clothes while maybe thinking about that person, and then that person starts dying.

Jack: That's weird.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know how that happened, but yeah.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: And they also think that these undead people can rise out of the grave and jump on the back of people like the. The Leaper dude.

Jack: What is up with the back jumping? There's not like other things. They got one trick, that's it. There's nothing else.

Cristina: Well, they got blue sucking too.

Jack: No, that does nothing. They just. When they attack people, they always hop on their back. That's it.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The one move.

Cristina: Yeah. It's the most. Like, you never expect it unless you do, because you heard all these stories.

Jack: And then what you're facing it. Well, it's disarmed.

Cristina: But how are you gonna face it? They'll always find your back. You can't walk backwards. And then it will just pop up on your back.

Jack: You happen to turn around as it's about to leap, but it didn't yet. And then you see it there and it freezes and it's like, I've been caught.

Cristina: There's no way. How would you know? Unless it has, like, really loud footsteps, I guess.

Jack: No, you. By chance, you were walking away, and you're like, I forgot my keys, and you turn around to go back inside, and boom, it's right there.

Cristina: I think it could move quickly. I mean, it has werewolf. It could turn into a werewolf. It could run around you and then jump on your back.

Jack: If it's a werewolf, you're hearing it.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know. Maybe it's able to predict where your back is facing it.

Jack: So what you're telling me is this creature only exists behind us.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And so, like, if you were to turn around, it wouldn't be there because it's only existent behind you.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Where you're not facing is the only place it could be.

Cristina: Mm. Unless it's in the grave that you're looking.

Jack: You can see it in the grave?

Cristina: Yeah. If it's a dead person.

Jack: No, it's just a dead person.

Cristina: Well, if you believe that dead person is also leaping out of its grave to attack people's back.

Jack: It's not, though.

Cristina: There's some dead people who do it, too.

Jack: Who. They leap out of their grave onto people's back.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is this, like. Is there experiences about this?

Cristina: Oh, I don't know any. I don't know any. I do. I have found other experiences for other creatures, just not this one. Oh. I do know, though, that besides just carrying them to the churchyard to get rid of them off your back, you could also get rid of him, the leaper dude, by praying or by a spell. I don't know what spells or prayers gets him off your back, but the leaper kid get off your back by.

Jack: I'm sure if you go ask a priest, he'll know.

Cristina: He knows about spells.

Jack: He did. Look, Catholics made this, too. Anytime you insert religion into it and you could pray something away, Catholics made it up.

Cristina: I mean, it goes away once you get to the church, too, so.

Jack: Yeah. There's many incentives.

Cristina: Find out that the Church makes these creatures.

Jack: Yeah. There's probably a lab at the basement of the Vatican or some crap.

Cristina: Yes. Where they're keeping Jesus.

Jack: Yeah. And they're just making these creatures all the time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: What, if anything, at some point we should go, like, free Jesus or something.

Cristina: I don't know. What? What are they protecting him with? Probably with these creatures that they're making.

Jack: Fair enough. But we have the technology.

Cristina: Our superhuman versus their superhuman. Yeah, but an interesting war. You can do it then. There's a creature called the Night Waster. It's a very strange creature. It's recognized by it holding out the thumb of one hand in the other and walking around like that, only with its left eye open.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: Because it's a weirdo. I think it's also a dead person too. But you could recognize it by. Because he's holding his thumb and what is it? His left eye is open while he's holding his one thumb in the other hand. Or something like that. He has the ability to kill family members through magic. And while in his grave he's like the cloth thing. He's a person in the grave sucking his clothes. But this one, after it eats its own clothes, it starts feeding on its own flesh. Gross. Gross. But at least it will be easy to find the one that's this creature killing your family or a person killing your family. I'm not sure if it's a creature or a person that you know. Or both. I guess your dead relative became a creature.

Jack: None of it feels like they're creatures. They.

Cristina: They just feel like dead people just sound like zombies. Like zombies. Maybe they're all zombies. But they could transform.

Jack: So that doesn't sound like any of them have transformed in these examples.

Cristina: What? The leaper dude transforms into werewolves.

Jack: Fair enough. He transforms. This other guy is just a gu. He seems like a guy. He seems like he's just a guy.

Cristina: Actually this one is just a guy. I don't know how he got here, but he's just a guy. That I thought was interesting. Alright. I made a lot of friends with shape shifting bloodsuckers and he happened to not be one. But he does suck blood. Or I guess not really because he's sucking the soul out of his family members and eating himself and eating himself.

Jack: Good times.

Cristina: And it also feeds off the. Off the bodies of other corpses. Because that's cool, I guess.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: And he also mates with women who are dead from childbirth. I don't understand mating. Like he's having children with these dead women. I guess he sounds like a creature, doesn't he? Or he's still a zombie now.

Jack: I mean, as soon as he starts mating, that goes out the window. The fact that he could mate is way off. Yeah, like that doesn't make sense at all.

Cristina: Yeah. So while he's eating his own clothes and his Own flesh. His family members are becoming are dying off, getting. Losing their life. And it's getting stronger. And then he becomes a wing dingo. Was it the Win Dingle? One of them. Those creatures that were like, you need to be strong and then you become that thing.

Jack: You're telling me the goal of this creature is to make a family get an in. Home gym workout daily until he gets shredded. And once he's shredded, he can transcend into Windingo.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: I think it was the West Shooge.

Cristina: The West Shoosh. Yeah, it's the West Shooch. It was the Westchooge. And it's possible to find this dude by the sound of sucking it makes. Because it has the thumb, I guess. Also. No, I guess that's sucking of its own clothes. Yeah. So if you hear sucking in the graveyard, it's probably the night wasps waster.

Jack: Or necrophilic b******.

Cristina: Or that. Oh, my gosh. It could be that with his dead wife.

Jack: Oh, it could just be some random straggler made it into the graveyard, dug up a recently dead body and blew him.

Cristina: Wow. And then that's how these stories were made.

Jack: Yep.

Cristina: I don't. You do not have to be bitten to become one of the night wasters. If a child was born with part of that sack thingy on his head, then you just have to feed him the sack thingy so he doesn't have to become the creature after he dies. I don't know what the sack is called. The water sack.

Jack: What?

Cristina: The thing that the baby's born with.

Jack: The placenta.

Cristina: Is it the placenta? Maybe there's a sack that's with the baby when it's growing. Okay. There's some. Some things you can do to get rid of the night waster, which is placing a chunk of earth under his chin.

Jack: Right. How would you get to him to do that?

Cristina: From hearing the sucking sound. You heard the sucking sound? You follow the sucking sound to the grave where the guy Follow the sucking.

Jack: Sound to the guy who's gonna try to kill you.

Cristina: He's dead. Or he's pretending to be asleep with his one eye open and his thumb in his hand or whatever. And you throw dirt in his. Under his chin. Or maybe you do this to every person that dies to avoid. To avoid the transformation. Yeah.

Jack: Yeah. That makes a lot more sense.

Cristina: Okay. Placing a coin or stone in their mouth also. So I guess that will stop them from chewing with a coin or stone in their mouth. Tying a handkerchief around their neck. We're placing nets and stockings inside the Grave nuts. Nuts.

Jack: Nets like tree nuts.

Cristina: Nets.

Jack: Nets. What?

Cristina: Nets like fishing nets.

Jack: Got you. And that just tangles him up and then he's screwed.

Cristina: I guess so. And the extreme ways to get rid of him is getting rid of his head, of course.

Jack: That sounds pretty familiar. That's all. The bloodsuckers have that problem going on.

Cristina: Yes. Even though he's not really a bloodsucker, but you know, whatever, he's drinking life. So I guess he counts. He's sucking on something and that's the important part. Right.

Jack: Is he a shapeshifter?

Cristina: No, he's just a dead dude. He's a zombie. You could also drive a steak in its mouth and you could fix the tongue so it won't move around. Okay, those are the extremes. But back to shape shifting creatures. There's a guy called the Chanchan. He's a sorcerer from Chile or Argentina. And he transforms into a bird. And the birds are called Shon. Shon. And he turns himself into a bird by using a magical cream on his throat that removes his head and then the head becomes the creature.

Jack: Amazing.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: I would like to know how he doesn't bleed out.

Cristina: The cream is magical.

Jack: Right?

Cristina: The magic of the cream is like, I guess, not letting his body bleed out.

Jack: Like with his head out, would we be able to see into his body?

Cristina: I imagine. No. I imagine the cream is just like covering that whole thing up. And you only see cream?

Jack: You only see cream?

Cristina: Yes. And this creature has the shape, of course, a human head with feathers and claws. Its ears become extremely large to be used as wings. Like a bird. Like a really strange, really horrifying bird.

Jack: Yes, it sounds pretty bad.

Cristina: It's a human head with feathers, claws and wings. Okay, but. Yes, but these are sorcerers. These are real people who are just deciding, I'm gonna become this thing. They do it for evil because these are evil sorcerers. Of course. It gives them the ability to drink blood from the ill and sleeping people. And I think that gives them more power. They do that for more power.

Jack: Interesting that. Only from people who are sleeping or dead. Ill. Ill people who are ill or sleeping. Fair. Yeah, that's interesting. Very vampiric, very Dracula esque. Sneak into your bed while you're knocked the f*** out, prey on you. You don't even know what happened until the morning when you just got two dots on you.

Cristina: Yeah. It's strange because it should be invisible. So I don't know how they know that it looks like a bird, but I'm guessing they found dead versions of It. And that's how they know, because it's invisible. And the only way you can tell that it's near is because it makes a cry. Toot, toot, too. If you hear that, run. No, it makes a weird sound and it's supposed to predict death of a loved one. So maybe it's hunting someone near you and that's why you hear it and then you know, oh, no, I had to watch out for my ill or sleeping lover.

Jack: That's weird, because if you hear it, there's no way you know what it is because you've never seen it. So, no. That's what you're hearing?

Cristina: Yes. You know something bad's gonna happen. I guess you at least know that much.

Jack: Do you, though? Is it more like, what the f*** was that?

Cristina: Maybe. But there's people who have caught it. There's people who have caught it somehow.

Jack: So they got proof this thing exists?

Cristina: Yes, of course. Maybe. So in order to repel this thing, there are some things you can do, which is draw the Solomon seal on the ground, laying out a waistcoat in a specific manner and reciting certain phrases or hymns. Is that religious? This is like a religious ceremony you gotta do. And then it will be repelled by you. It will force the Shunshun to leave or to fall to the ground, where it could be destroyed. Which I guess is the goal. To destroy it. Right. Unless you just want to abandon it. If you just abandoned it, it will come for revenge, though. So I would say destroy it.

Jack: It'll hunt you down if you ignore it.

Cristina: Yes. Actually, if you kill it, its friends might hunt you down. So that's a toughie. If the headless body of the sorceress is found, turning it onto its stomach prevents the Shunshun to return to it. I don't know why, but, Yes, if you put the body. Yeah, if you. I wonder how the body's laying. Is it standing or sitting? But if you place it on its stomach, the head can't go back. I don't know why. I feel like it just needs to, like, fight the right spot. Like, unless you're covering the neck somehow by laying it on its stomach. I don't know. My imagination is not very well because I can't see what's stopping the bird from going back to the neck of a person whose stomach is on the ground.

Jack: The cream is in the way.

Cristina: The cream is in the way?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Of what?

Jack: The one that made his head come off.

Cristina: The cream is in the way. No. I don't understand.

Jack: No, Isn't the cream covering the whole thing?

Cristina: Yes, well, of the neck. That's all I know.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: The cream is in the way of the bird.

Jack: The bird is the head.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So you're telling me the bird isn't covered in cream so I can look up and just see into the skull maybe?

Cristina: No, but I'm trying to imagine. Okay, The. The Be. The. The neck is still out while you're laying down, whether your stomach is.

Jack: But the cream is in the way.

Cristina: Do you understand? What are you talking about?

Jack: You said the cream blocks the whole area so that we can't see into the body from the top.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And the same applies to the head, theoretically.

Cristina: So the cream is in the way. And that's why laying the body on its stomach stops the bird in any position.

Jack: That bird can't come back because the cream is in the way.

Cristina: Oh, in any position. Then what's the point? Okay, whatever.

Jack: To become a permanent bird.

Cristina: Nah. You could also yell at it, come back tomorrow for more for some salt. And then the next day he'll come to you in its human form to ask for salt. And then you'll know he's the bird.

Jack: He's not really a sorcerer at that point, is he? He's really like some kind of dude stuck in a pattern.

Cristina: It sounds like a vampire counting those rice.

Jack: No, it doesn't. It sounds like you staged some, like, setup and he, like, has to participate.

Cristina: Like the vampire counting. Like he has to participate in the counting of things, I guess. Well, one time there was a case where someone did. Ground one of the birds from using while he. He did the Solomon seal thing, that. That weird chant thing. And it caused the large bird to fall out of the sky. And they. They fed the bird to the dog. And then the belly of the dog grew into the shape of a face. And that's how they knew. And then later the local grave digger said some unknown people came to bury a headless body.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: So it's out there. But I think I would just ask it to come back tomorrow for some salt.

Jack: And then put it in a cage.

Cristina: And then put it in a cage. Well, then his friends will come. I don't know.

Jack: Put them in a cage.

Cristina: Put them in a cage. Okay. That's huge.

Jack: Open a bird sorcerer zoo.

Cristina: Yes. See if I can learn some of their magic. Like, they have to have more magic, right?

Jack: Yep.

Cristina: Can't just be about drinking blood.

Jack: You keep promising to let them go if they teach you magic.

Cristina: Yes. Then there's Coco, who's a shapeshifter too. That's unknown, but like, whatever. The original form is unknown, but it could. There's so many stories of what it looks like. A dragon, werewolf, ghost with a skull like pumpkin head. A ghost monster. It's a ghost monster. That's what I think it is. Okay.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: I don't know. The way they describe it is very. They compare it to the Boogeyman because they scare their children with the Coco. What a name, Coco. It doesn't sound very scary, but this Coco creature lives in many, many countries, Hispanic countries, in Spain, Portugal.

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it Coco for a fact? It's not Cuco.

Cristina: Oh, Cuco. It could be Cuco. I don't know. It's spelled Coco, but I think it's said in. It could have had many different spellings. Oh, El Cuco? Is that what you're talking about?

Jack: El Cuco? Yeah.

Cristina: Yes. Cuco.

Jack: Ok. As well as El Cucuy.

Cristina: El Cucuy. Yes. So you heard of this because it's the Spanish creature.

Jack: It's the literal Spanish translation of the boogeyman.

Cristina: The boogeyman. That's what I said. Okay, the boogeyman. Yes. But have you, like, when you heard about it, what did he sound like? How was he described to you?

Jack: He's basically Slenderman.

Cristina: Slenderman? Ooh.

Jack: Yeah. He's some sort of shadowy figure, a horror you could not describe. He is always in dark places. He shows up when you least suspect, usually when you're by yourself. Yeah, Basic boogeyman things. He'll s***** you up.

Cristina: Yeah. He likes to take the shapes of shadows, dark shadows. To kidnap children, specifically. Does he eat those children?

Jack: Basically hiding in the closet or under the bed?

Cristina: Oh, yeah, but. And yeah, the thing about this thing, I don't know if he sucks the blood out of the children, but he definitely eats those children. He kidnaps them and eats them. That's believable if they're bad. I think that's what the parents say. If you're. If you're bad, the cook Coco will get you. The Coco.

Jack: Yeah. The boogeyman's gonna get you.

Cristina: Yeah. The biggie, man. Yeah. So you have to be good and he won't get you. So he's a child eater and a kidnapper. It's said to be out on it. Hangs out on rooftops, looking out for misbehaving children. Like Santa Claus.

Jack: I feel like a lot of people work with Santa.

Cristina: Yeah. Sometimes. It's also described as a hairy monster that it's because it's in so many. It's weird that it's the same creature, but because it's in so many different countries, all Spanish countries, it maybe. It takes forms of different things in each country.

Jack: It is a shapeshifter, so it's regional, like that's expected.

Cristina: Yeah. One origin story of the cuco that I found, it might not be the real origin story. Like, there's probably no origin story for this guy. But one of them was that a man was sick with tuberculosis. He was looking for a cure, so he looked for a healer, and she told him the cure was drinking the blood of children and rubbing their fat on his chest. Then he started kidnapping kids and drinking their blood. So there you go. He is a blood drinker.

Jack: So if this story was real, he'd be the first person to test out adrenochrome.

Cristina: Yes, yes, yes.

Jack: And it turned him into some sort of freak of nature.

Cristina: Yeah. He walks up and down streets with a black bag looking for children. And that's. That's all I know about him. You know more about him than I do, but I guess you only know one version of him because there's so many different versions of him. But he looks like Slenderman in yours.

Jack: All the versions are more or less the same thing. They're pretty closely related.

Cristina: But you don't know what he did with those children.

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: Yeah, well, I'm saying he's a bloodsucker. Then there's the La Ga, who is a cousin to the French and Germanic werewolf. It's a shapeshifter from Trinidad. And Tro Bago Lagahoo. Laga who?

Jack: Interesting. And it looks like a wolf or some s***.

Cristina: No, I wish. I wish he did. But by day he's a normal man, but by night he is headless and he roams the night with a wooden coffin on its neck. And he also has chains around his neck which change sizes. And, like, one of his appendages is turned backwards, which is very. Werewolf. Maybe an arm or a leg is backward for some reason, I don't think, to hide a tail or anything. Maybe he's like a retarded werewolf.

Jack: This is actually really interesting. I've heard about something similar to that, and it's. You can actually. I think there was a movie with one of these in there.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: I think it was the 13th ghost that. There was the Jackal. It was a ghost with, like, a coffin on its head, essentially. And it's all contorted. It's the one that walks all weird and s***.

Cristina: It Was probably based on this guy.

Jack: Could definitely be interesting.

Cristina: But he could also shape shift into various animals, including horses, pigs, and goats and centaurs Or a creature that's similar to a centaur.

Jack: So pretty much anything, it seems.

Cristina: Yeah. And he's a blood sucker, but he doesn't suck the blood out of humans, which I guess is a good thing because he is horrifying. Description of him is just. I wouldn't want to see that. I really wouldn't. But he likes cows and goats.

Jack: That's cool. He's the good guy.

Cristina: He's like the Chupacabra, more or less.

Jack: Yeah. The Chupacabra isn't out there eating people.

Cristina: Yeah. But if he's eating your farm animals, you might want to kill him.

Jack: Why don't you just raise a couple of farm animals for him?

Cristina: That's cool too.

Jack: Try to get him to out his people and create a community where they protect your farm and in return, you feed them. You feed them.

Cristina: That's awesome. Yes, let's do that. But if you do want to kill him, you can beat him with a stick that has been anointed with holy water and holy oil for nine days. To kill the creature, you have to beat him with a stick that's been in holy water for nine days. That's very church related, man.

Jack: They're all church. The Catholic church designs monsters.

Cristina: Yes. And while you're beating it, it changes into other creatures like a dog, a horse, cat, pig. It even changes into a thunderous waves of water and finally disappears into a black mist. And then you dead. Then it's dead. It's very interesting. Transformations. I feel like we heard a ghost story of. Was it transformations or it was just things crossing the road after the other and it was just different.

Jack: Yeah, it was a ghost story.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: It was like a guy crossed the road chased by a ghost or something. An old man? No, he was just a chicken or some s***, right?

Cristina: Yeah, chicken and a dog and a cat. I don't know. It was a child story. I don't know what was happening. But yes, this creature has that same type of thing going on.

Jack: But it was a Clinton road story, I believe. No, it was a different road.

Cristina: Different road. It was a different road. Yeah. Then there's this other thing. We'll call him one foot. Well, actually, his name, I guess if you translate it, is one foot in Spanish. Pata sola. Pata sola.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Well, that's a South American monster. She lives in the jungle. She appears to men in the middle of the wildness. And she lures them into the jungle to eat them. To reveal her true form. We know her true form at least. Like she looks like a woman but she's really a one legged creature with vampire like lust for human flesh and blood. And she attacks them and devours their flesh and sucks the blood out of her victims. Very vampire.

Jack: She's like a succubus.

Cristina: Yes, but she's.

Jack: Or a siren.

Cristina: A siren.

Jack: The mermaid.

Cristina: Oh, mermaid. But she's not in the water.

Jack: Yeah, it's an out of water mermaid.

Cristina: Yeah. Do they drink blood? Oh man.

Jack: Mermaids. Kind of. Yeah.

Cristina: Succubus. No, not succubus. What was the other one?

Jack: Sirens.

Cristina: Sirens.

Jack: Sirens, Succubus, Incubus and mermaids.

Cristina: All half of those things are ghosts.

Jack: Ghosts?

Cristina: Yeah. Incubus and succubus are ghost creatures.

Jack: Those aren't ghosts.

Cristina: They. I thought they were.

Jack: No, those are monsters.

Cristina: Those are monsters. I thought those were ghosts.

Jack: I thought they were monsters.

Cristina: Really? Because I. Well from ghost shows there have been men who've been haunted by succubus.

Jack: Was it the ghost adventure guys?

Cristina: No, no, it was just people telling their ghost stories of the haunted house that they lived in or whatever.

Jack: Oh my God.

Cristina: And the way that these creatures are described are like ghosts, but stronger I guess. Stronger?

Jack: No, best case scenario, it's a demon.

Cristina: Oh yeah, like a demon. But I guess in a way it looks like a ghost because it looks like nothing. Because you can't say you see a ghost.

Jack: No, these things are visible.

Cristina: These things are visible.

Jack: You, a succubus, an incubus. Mermaid and a siren are physical things you see.

Cristina: Okay. But they're not physically in your house. Like their physical bodies hiding in your house.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, that's how it goes. In fact. Specifically for the mermaid and the siren.

Cristina: Well yes, I know those two.

Jack: A group of people see them.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. Those are more monster like.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: While the other two I thought were more ghost. Like which. Their bodies aren't really physical.

Jack: No, I think their body. Look it up. I think their bodies are physical. Now google succubus to confirm.

Cristina: On the opposite end it says succubus here too. Female counterpart succubus.

Jack: Okay, so it's a demon, it's a.

Cristina: Physical thing, but it's not. I mean like yes, but no, because like you wake up and then it's not there, you know?

Jack: Right. It goes like this. You're at a bar, you see really hot chick. The boys also see the really hot chick. You and the boys Are like, yo, I'm gonna go flirt with that girl. Get her a drink and everything.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And you do. And you take her home and you do whatever. Except at some point you black out. You wake up, she's gone. Everybody saw her. She wasn't not there. She was physical and frightened.

Cristina: And for that guy that, that happened to, she wasn't there. She was there, but then she disappears. Like a ghost. He didn't pick her up anywhere. She was just living in his house.

Jack: He was probably dealing with some other s*** that wasn't an succubus.

Cristina: I don't know. I think they're more complicated.

Jack: It's a demon.

Cristina: Yeah. Demons could have ghostly bodies, can't they? I don't know.

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: Like they don't physically or. They don't have to physically be in your house, do they? I don't know. Whatever. Yes. Okay, let's continue. That'll be for another episode, maybe. Who knows? Then there's the Striga, who is a vampire witch that sucks blood of infants at night while they're sleeping. And then they. They like to turn into insects to go in, to sneak into the house of the child. And to protect yourself from the shriga, you have to make a cross out of pig bone and place it at the entrance of a church on Easter Sunday so that the sugar cannot leave. But I guess you're somehow supposed to know that it's in there. What's it doing in the church? Hmm? Entrance in the church. I guess it lives in your church. Then they could be captured and killed like any other thing. But also to protect yourself from this creature, you could put a silver coin in the blood that it drank from and wrap it in clothing. And then that it protects you from the creature. Once you wrap it up, you could wear as jewelry to protect yourself from the creature.

Jack: That's a really cool way to make an amulet.

Cristina: Yes, from blood.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: I wonder if the blood stays soaked on the coin or something. Like it's magical blood now.

Jack: I mean, you wrapped it.

Cristina: You wrapped it. Yeah. Yeah. So in the legends, only the witch could cure those. She drained their blood. And if she doesn't? Oh, the way she cures people that she's bitten is by spitting in their mouth. And if she doesn't do that, they'll just get sick and die. And these witches aren't born, but they become one. Because either she is childless or is made evil by envy. And a strong belief in God could make people immune to the witch. He could protect them.

Jack: Sounds Very. How do I put it? Consistent.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, very consistent. You believe in God, you pray, you go to church. All these monsters will f*** off.

Cristina: Mm. There's something going on there.

Jack: Yeah, always. They're responsible for all the creatures. Or they got packs with all these creatures.

Cristina: They got packs. They're making these creatures.

Jack: Maybe they are the creatures.

Cristina: Maybe they are the creatures. Like the song. Those sorcerers that become birds. Maybe they're becoming all these other things. We don't know that. Then there's this bloodsuckerer in Mexico. It's like a vampire or a witch that lives with its human family. And they have to keep his secret because if it dies, someone else in the family, I think, turns into this vampire witch creature. They can change form by detaching their bodies from their legs, which they leave in the house. So strange. I think the transformation is of a goat. He needs to feed off of blood once a month or he'll die. And he wants to suck the blood of babies at night. Sucks the blood of babies.

Jack: That's actually the closest one to a vampire I've heard so far. Where not drinking blood will kill it.

Cristina: Yeah. Well, most of these creatures are female, and so I'll say she. She's born with the curse and can't avoid being this vampire creature because it's in the. I guess, the family line, which we were talking about. What if we went to a country and tried these things? What would we become? So what if we did have the blood of a werewolf and that's how we become a werewolf? We don't know that. Like, a bite helps speed up the process of becoming the thing we already had in us.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Maybe it's just easier for these vampire creatures to do it. And the victims that were killed by these creatures have bruises on their upper body. And they hunt mostly in cold and rainy weather. I don't know why specific weather, but they got rules. Maybe they're like vampires. They sound. You said like vampires, so it makes sense.

Jack: Yeah, they might just be avoiding daylight.

Cristina: Yeah, because they hunt at night too. So night, cold, and rainy weather. They fly from village to village as a turkey.

Jack: Best transformation while the vampire is over here being douchey. I'm a bat, bro. Look how cool this m*********** is. Like, I'm a gorgeous turkey.

Cristina: That's not my only bright color. That's a pretty cool one. But there's even a cooler one. It can fly as a flying fireball. A fireball?

Jack: That's pretty hardcore. I would never use the turkey form.

Cristina: You Never use the turkey form.

Jack: I will be a fireball forever. Because everybody just thinks it's a shooting star or a meteor or some s***.

Cristina: But also it likes to be a donkey. So it could scout out the victims. I guess that's the best form it takes. The donkey. You don't want to be a donkey.

Jack: Just blend into plain sight.

Cristina: Yeah. That's very sneaky. But you could tell that the animal is this creature because it has a.

Jack: Glowing aura making everything we've just discussed useless.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: A glowing turkey. That's some sort of monster.

Cristina: Yeah. And it smells like blood mad.

Jack: Impractical.

Cristina: Yes. Like, we talked also about that. Some. They're trying their best to take the shape of the forms. But some of them might not be as good as others.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So maybe these are like, they're almost there. Just a few more tries and they'll get it. They got it. They almost got it. Like, maybe being in the bloodline helps them get better at this thing of shape shifting or whatever is happening.

Jack: But it sounds like these creatures aren't even related to the other creatures we discussed. Like these seem like whole other things. Dead people and s*** like that. Like zombies. They don't even sound like. Some of these people aren't even like fast or anything. They're just like zombies.

Cristina: They're like zombies that. But they could transform. That's the important thing.

Jack: One of them couldn't.

Cristina: Except for one of them. Yeah. He snuck in.

Jack: Interesting. They could all transform. But can they all transform to anything? Or a lot of them bound to one form. Are these their famous forms?

Cristina: I think these are their famous forms. Like the cuckoo. The coco cuckoo. The cuckoo. He doesn't have any. Like, he has so many forms. One of them was a dragon. For some reason there was like he could do whatever. Except for. For some reason it's kind of wild. What he could become. Hairy monster.

Jack: Yeah. That's pretty cool though. So they are just definitely shapeshifters at the end of the day.

Cristina: Yeah. And the first one we talked about. He turns into a werewolf. But he could also just turn into a lady. He could be sneaky if he wants to. He just feels like. I guess being a werewolf is just easier because you can run after the person.

Jack: Yeah. It must also be funner.

Cristina: Yeah, it could be funner too. Because you can't kill that creature. So that creature doesn't have a weakness to death. Like there's nothing. It's not like the vampire that you can kill it in certain ways. That one. You can't @ all. So it's just having fun?

Jack: Yeah, it's just doing whatever the h*** it wants.

Cristina: Yeah. My leaper buddy. Oh, my gosh. This is gonna be suspicious, but to enter the house, it must fly over the roof and take the shape of a cross.

Jack: To enter a house?

Cristina: Yep. To enter a house, it must fly.

Jack: Over the roof as a cross.

Cristina: Take the shape of a cross. Like, fly around in a cross, like, shape.

Jack: Oh, s***.

Cristina: Like, it's doing that. Weird, man.

Jack: At this point, like, a bunch of Catholics got together. Like, Catholics are monsters. They're literal monsters. And the symbols and crap that they teach and the prayers and s***, it's all just to benefit them.

Cristina: They're making these monsters. These monsters are the same.

Jack: They're making them. They are the monsters. They're the people who found Jesus and captured him, knowing that he has a direct link with God, crippled him so that he couldn't move, and slowly siphon his power to turn themselves into these monsters that then wreak havoc on the world.

Cristina: Yes. This is happening. What are we gonna do?

Jack: We gotta tell the QAnon guys.

Cristina: Oh, they love this. Oh, my gosh. This is. Man. If you can tell Alex Jones is about this, I know he'd love this.

Jack: Alex Jones. I love that man.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: He's my everything.

Cristina: He's your everything. Okay. And then it sneaks into the house as a fly. And when it enters the room, the house, it becomes a mist to paralyze everyone. Sounds like a vampire does that, doesn't it? Or at least it has that ability of paralyzing people.

Jack: Turning into a gas. Yeah.

Cristina: On a gas. Okay.

Jack: Became a mist.

Cristina: A mist.

Jack: Yeah. That's very vampire.

Cristina: And then once inside, she turns back into a turkey and sucks the victim's blood.

Jack: How crazy of an experience is this? A weird cloud starts leaking, like it's gas. You think you're being gassed right now? You look at your door. Oh, my God. What's happening? Is there a fire outside?

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Mist starts coming in and, like, filling up. And you're like, oh, my God, are we gonna burn death? And then the mist just starts to gather, doesn't spread out anymore. And then it starts to solidify, and boom, out comes a turkey. It's like, what the f***?

Cristina: Yes. And then she goes to the baby and she has a needle like tongue. And the tongue starts just drinking the baby's blood. And you're watching this.

Jack: Yes. In shock.

Cristina: In shock. And you're like aliens.

Jack: Yeah. At that point.

Cristina: Okay, so there's some ways to protect yourself and your baby. From this creature. If you want, you could leave sharp objects under the crib like a knife, scissors, needles, pins. That seems really dangerous for the baby, too.

Jack: It's under the crib.

Cristina: It's under. Yeah, but what if the baby decides to get out of its crib and then starts playing with these things?

Jack: Maybe you've created a serial killer.

Cristina: Making a cross out of the safety pins on your garments will help. Putting a mirror, dirty shorts, or soiled diapers near the bed will help. Only onions and garlics can ward off attacks.

Jack: Very vampirey, Very vampiry. Also, you can, in theory, j*** in your underwear and then slap it on the crib, Be like, you're safe, baby.

Cristina: Yes. And you can wrap your baby in a tortilla and tuck them into blankets and clothing. Yep. Protect yourself with tortillas.

Jack: Really?

Cristina: Yes. What tortilla?

Jack: Wow. So, like, turning your child into a taco is safe?

Cristina: Yes. Turning your child into. I feel like that would make it more craving. Like, he'll want the baby more.

Jack: It would make it more craving towards a human who wants tacos.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Not towards a bird who's usually inside the tacos.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It's like, no, I understand the pain. I must free this baby.

Cristina: Let's free this baby. He's normally inside the taco. Oh, the turkey. Okay, so she has memories of what it's like to be a turkey being murdered.

Jack: No. She knows that this happens, and she sympathizes her people.

Cristina: Okay, so what's really killing these babies? There's been so many cases. There was, like, there was a doctor who went through these cases to find out what happened to these babies. There was, like, 40 babies dead, and the victims didn't lose any blood. But what killed them was no oxygen. Asphyxiation killed the babies. Yeah. Most of the babies probably died by accident. Probably, yeah, because the way they were laying on the baby might have killed the baby. And then, like, I guess after. What's it called? After heaters and stuff like that, Things to warm your home happened. These things stopped happening because it was mostly during winter time when it was super cold, and then you'd want to huddle with your baby, and then that would kill your baby. But once that kind of stuff was made, you could warm up your house. You don't have to be next to your baby or try to warm your baby with a bunch of blankets. And then the blankets kill the baby, and then no more babies dying.

Jack: Yeah. It seems like most creatures were created around the time that the catholic church could just say, Random s***. And people would eat it. And as well as when situations were so crappy that people didn't want to take blame for things that they were clearly doing or scared of. And us monsters.

Cristina: Yes. Also, people had to take it because they would kill them and say, you're a witch.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: And then burn you at the stakes.

Jack: Good old Catholic church ways.

Cristina: You had to take it. Yep. So I guess that's it for now. I hope you like these stories from my friend Leaper. Is that his name? Leapy. I think I named him Leapy, but I changed it to Leaper. So there you go.

Jack: And he told you about all these creatures. So he's basically a rat.

Cristina: Yes, because I fed him some of our employees.

Jack: Fair enough. Good trade off.

Cristina: Good trade off.

Jack: That's what the subhumans are here for.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: They are willing. They just stand by and they're like, yes, sir.

Cristina: Yeah. They didn't care. They were happy.

Jack: They'll never care. They're just here to please us.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: Those overpowered hyper intelligence, super physically peaked monster retards.

Cristina: Yes, but they're beautiful.

Jack: Flawlessly beautiful. They're immaculate.

Cristina: It's ridiculous.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: But they're brain dead.

Jack: Anyways, we are definitely out of time here, so we'll have to hear the rest of your friend's story some other time.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: Yes. But if you guys like conversations of this nature, if you like listening to us talk about creatures, there's many creature episodes. Go back and catch up on all the creature episodes. Creatures of all types, all shapes and sizes. All shape shifting sizes and types.

Cristina: And bloodlusting.

Jack: Yes. So you can totally find all that good stuff on the official website, greythoughts.info or on Apple podcasts, Spotify and anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, we would adore a review and let someone.

Cristina: Who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes. The power of word of mouth is almighty. So if you tell somebody to kindly listen and tell them why, they'll be like, okay. And then the community grows.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: Chuck Norris could be Chucky if you wanted, though.

Jack: No. Yes, because Chuck Norris only really dwells in the realm of paradoxes.

Cristina: Yes, but that's why he wins.

Jack: He would have to paradoxically win. Yeah, that's not a real victory. That's a technicality.

Cristina: So I think that's fair.

Jack: Like in a fight, Shaggy would win. No, in a fair, non counterintuitive fight, he would win.

Cristina: Yes, I guess he would. But that doesn't make him God.

Jack: That does make him God.

Cristina: Really strong.

Jack: He could be God in a fist fight.

Cristina: He's just really strong at 1%.

Jack: What does more percent look like?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: Google it. What are the powers of Shaggy? Let's break this down.

Cristina: I think he has powers.

Jack: Shaggy has powers. Shaggy definitely has powers.

Jack: I'm Rob.

Cristina: I'm Slim.

Jack: And I'm the Slam Bagini himself, baby. Yeah. The Rob and Slim show is a weekly comedy show with an hour, hour and a half of happy horseshit followed by four half hour interviews with actors, authors and more. Scott Bale loves us and asked me a On my stomach in the bathtub. Yeah, I am. Catch us live every Wednesday, 6 to 9:30pm Eastern Standard Time on ipmnation.com forward/live2 or facebook.com forward/robinslim or listen to the Rapid Slim show on Pop B Ratoons. Baby. Yeah. I just s*** my f****** pants.

December 05, 2020

Rambling 111: Shapeshifters

December 05, 2020/ GreyThoughts.Info

The Just Conversation Podcast, Vampire, Werewolf, Werewolves, Monsters, Scary, Terror, Horror, Aliens, Alien, Abduction, Lore, Folklore

What are the odds that all the creatures throughout folklore are the same species? Comparing Vampires, Werewolves, Chupacabras and deciding whether they are all just shapeshifters.

Story:
On their hunt to capture a werewolf, the duo dive deeper into the lore, general information and what creatures might be relative to werewolves. Unbeknown to them, they’d discover some scary truths about other creatures and uncover knowledge that perhaps werewolves and their true kind never wanted humans, clones, the illuminati and garbage sub-humans to know. Find out what on this episode of Just Conversation.

(This episode contains a transcript to make it accessible to Deaf and Hard of Hearing Audiences #DeafPodcast #PodcastTranscript)

Download Transcript

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!

Topics Discussed

Blood Drinking Werewolves
Vampire Werewolves
Shapeshifter DNA
Nightstalkers
Vampire & Werewolf Similarities
How Vampires are Made
Counting Vampires
Werewolf Fairy Tales
Little Red Riding Hood
Permission To Enter

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

+Transcript

Jack: Is werewolf just a shapeshifter? And if so, what other creatures has that shapeshifter turned into? That and more coming up on this episode of Just Conversation.

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable. A listening partner to share opinions and ideas on the topics we discuss. So be sure to find some body fancy and turn on something fancy that can play such a fancy pantsy show.

Cristina: We're fancy.

Jack: We're fancy.

Cristina: Yes, we're definitely. What makes something fancy?

Jack: I don't know. Anything around us is fancy.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Things around us are fancy.

Cristina: Okay, well, but they don't know what things you're talking about.

Jack: Anything.

Cristina: Anything is fancy around us. Around us?

Jack: Yes. So they play the show. Yes, they're fancy.

Cristina: Okay. Oh, we make things fancy.

Jack: Yes. Anything that's in the wave range of our voices is fancy.

Cristina: Are our ways giving them cancer? Like the 5G thing? Since those things can give cancer? What can't give cancer? Can our voices give cancer?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Are you pausing?

Jack: Not unless we want them to, no.

Cristina: Okay, well, for now, we just want them to be fancy.

Jack: Sometimes we give people cancer intentionally, but that's just for our enemies who are listening.

Cristina: What? What enemies are listening? We have enemies.

Jack: We have many enemies.

Cristina: What?

Jack: War enemies.

Cristina: War enemies. The cat people.

Jack: Yeah, sure, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know who's our enemy is. I feel like we're friends with everyone.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Yes. Our listeners consider us their best friends.

Jack: Some listeners. Some of them are our enemies.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Well, if you get cancer, you know who you are.

Jack: Actually, they have to trace their cancer back to the show.

Cristina: Oh, yeah.

Jack: And then they'll know who they are.

Cristina: And then they all know.

Jack: Until then, they have no clue who they are. They're just confused. It's like, who am I? Do I have an identity?

Cristina: What?

Jack: I just woke up listening to this show. I don't remember anything prior to this show. And then they go to the hospital to get tests and they're like, you got cancer. And they're like, ah, that's a double whammy.

Cristina: They don't know who they are and they got cancer. They think they're cancer. Then what?

Jack: Everybody who listens to the show, Their memory gets wiped of all knowledge except the show.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But when they go to the doctor, whether or not they have cancer, they know who they are and whether they're our enemy or not. But if they have cancer, they know they're our enemy. They're like, oh, my God, that's who I am. And also, I guess that makes me the enemy.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, wow.

Jack: They don't even think they're the good guy. They're like, I'm the bad guy.

Cristina: Mmm. And this happens every time they listen to our show?

Jack: Yes. Everybody who's ever listened to the show has immediately gone to the hospital afterwards because of amnesia.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Are we starting something?

Jack: It's kind of like that Pokemon thing where the kids got, like, seizure. Allegedly.

Cristina: Yeah. Everyone got seizures.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: After the news broke out that everyone's getting seizures.

Jack: Yes. It's weird. Dude, that's mass hysteria. For real.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That was in the mass hysteria episode, wasn't it? Yeah, it was, man. Yeah. Good episode.

Cristina: Yeah. Also, the vampires, when we talked about vampires and the history of, like, real.

Jack: Cases, that was all his nuns biting people and s***.

Cristina: I don't remember that. Nuns. I know. Nuns were singing.

Jack: Hold the.

Cristina: No, they were meowing.

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Cristina: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jack: Not only do I have this inkling that Christ was a vampire, but we'll address that later. We have an actual case. Religious vampires. There were nuns f****** biting people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And you mentioned that before.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Also in the Mass of Syria episode.

Cristina: Possibly. Yes.

Jack: Bro, were those nuns vampires or werewolves?

Cristina: I don't know. I mean, you go against the Church, you become one of them again.

Jack: Holy s***. There's already. Whoa. There's a couple of crossing lines there.

Cristina: Yeah. The Church is creating monsters.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah, they are.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know, but if you remember from last time on Dragon Ball Z on Just Conversation. Well, last time when I was talking about werewolves, we were talking about two different types of werewolves. We were getting to something. To Adrenochrome.

Jack: We were getting to Adrenochrome.

Cristina: Yes. We were getting to Adrenochrome. We were getting to werewolves that turn into vampires after they die, Right? Yes. And.

Jack: Wait, werewolves turn into vampires after they die?

Cristina: Yes. When they die. For some reason, they're. How was it? Okay. When they die. When werewolves die, their human body stays a human during the daytime, but at night, they still become werewolves. But instead of just craving flesh like they normally do, they Crave blood. Yes.

Jack: So. Oh, yeah, I remember that. But does that make them? I guess it does. But that really. And I guess, like we were talking about in that episode, that breaks into the idea that they're sort of two different souls fighting for one body. Or not souls, but living things. There's two things fighting for one body and the vampire is one of those things.

Cristina: And the vampire.

Jack: But the living other thing is dead.

Cristina: Yeah, it's dead. So it's just a vampire going to a dead body at night and turning into a wolf to drink blood. Yeah, that's what's going on. Maybe. I don't know. To solve that the living dead werewolf problem, they would have to destroy the body. The werewolf sneaking into the battlefield was back in Greece in the 19th century. But in parts of Germany, Poland and northern France, dead people will come back to life to drink blood as wolves. If they were living in mortals and evil people, when evil people died, they would become werewolves.

Jack: Drink blood. So there was no. Like you need something else to make you werewolves. Just being a bad person made you a werewolf?

Cristina: Yes. After death, though.

Jack: So werewolves are zombies.

Cristina: Yes. That drink blood.

Jack: That drink bloods of vampires?

Cristina: Yes, But I don't know why. But yes. And then they will return into their human form at the daylight, like the battle, the ones in Greece, I think.

Jack: Fascinating.

Cristina: And they would need a priest to decapitate it and do an exorcism. Like, you know, when a regular demon goes into a body situation, I guess. And then the head would be thrown into a river. I don't know why, but you gotta throw that head into the river somehow.

Jack: That solves the problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The murder part had nothing to do with it.

Cristina: No. You just needed that head to throw into the river.

Jack: So if the head is not in the river. Boom. Still alive.

Cristina: Yeah. Maybe it'll find its head, put it back on, and then continue on drinking blood.

Jack: So in theory, that body could still move around. It'll just be aimless.

Cristina: Yes, in theory, I guess. I don't know. Or maybe once the head is in the water, the body just can't move. It needs to know that the head is round to continue moving.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: And then new things about werewolves that we didn't mention before was, you know, the normal. They're vulnerable to silver and highly resistant to injury. Except that you could cut them. I mean, I guess that's not an injury you're forcing. You're like breaking them apart to kill them. Oh, those poor people who are. Who are mistaken as werewolves. I guess it Sucks for them. It sucks.

Jack: It goes back to, you know, how do you tell if somebody's a witch? You drown them. If they're dead, they're not a witch. But if they don't drown, they are a witch. So my question is, did they ever discover a witch? Because they probably just drown. Hella m************.

Cristina: Yeah. And the werewolf thing, I guess the werewolf test of, like, if they have fur under their skin, that's proof. I don't know. Well, that's a weird proof.

Jack: Yeah, it's like, oh, I guess he wasn't a werewolf.

Cristina: How many hands were cut? And if you put silver on them, I think their skin is supposed to burn as well.

Jack: Which they've probably also never seen.

Cristina: No. What if a person's allergic to silver? Is that a possibility?

Jack: I wonder if that's a thing. That's interesting.

Cristina: Yeah. How many people allergic to silver has that happened?

Jack: But, like, their skin wouldn't burn, they just get, like, a rash?

Cristina: No, they get a rash. Yeah. But they're gonna look.

Jack: And not even immediately. Not even immediately.

Cristina: How long after?

Jack: It would take a while to have a reaction.

Cristina: Oh, well, they'll wait for that and then say, that's a burn. And in places that wolves weren't a thing, there were other things that were very similar. Like in Africa, there was the were hyena. In India, a were tiger. In South America, there were were pumas and were jaguars. And in Asian countries, they had were foxes. That's pretty cool.

Jack: That'd be cool.

Cristina: Were fox.

Jack: A were fox. It's like a little anime girl.

Cristina: How do you like? So I have to move into one of those places. I wonder if turning into those were creatures are the same as a werewolf.

Jack: Like, you gotta drink their print water.

Cristina: Yes. Or be asleep in a summer day with the sun hitting your face on a Wednesday or Friday.

Jack: Look, man, if you're gonna become a fox. Yeah. You gotta be like, in an autumn field. And it has to be like a half a moon. And it needs to be out, like in dusk when the sun is still out. So you could get hit by both, because that's around the time you'll see a fox. And that's when you get hit by both of those. And the combined power. Boom. Now you are a fox. Human person thing. A were fox.

Cristina: But what if, because I was born in a place where wolves are common, I just end up being a werewolf?

Jack: You think that'd be interesting. So let's say hypothetically, this stuff is real.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And the regional DNA is really what's making the transformation on the creatures of the area?

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So if you went to an area where there were different creatures, would your DNA still be the DNA from your region? Because your DNA doesn't change.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: What you have is in your DNA. Just because you went somewhere else doesn't mean you'd suddenly become like a were hyena. Because you went from the US to Africa. I wish you would just become a werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah. Slim.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Or were deer. I feel like it's always a dangerous animal. You can't be a were deer.

Jack: In that case it would like. That would be horrifying anyways. But in that case it would. You could be a were buffalo.

Cristina: Were. But it feels like it has to be something that eats meat.

Jack: Why? You could be a were buffalo and just beat the s*** out of somebody without eating them.

Cristina: But all those examples of all those were places had meat eating animals.

Jack: But why can't there be examples that are just something that'll beat like a were elephant? You just grow over size and everywhere you go.

Cristina: Haven't heard of it. There should be were hippos.

Jack: Were hippo. A were hippo. Like a hippo doesn't even need to eat meat. It's just gonna murder. It murders because it can just three.

Cristina: Times the size of a hippo. Oh my gosh.

Jack: Yeah, man.

Cristina: That's too like if something like that.

Jack: Bipedal hippo freak.

Cristina: Yeah, a bipedal.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: No, you would have three legs with one leg up.

Jack: Because hippos have an extra skinny short leg. You have three normal hippo sized legs and then one really skinny short leg, like abnormally short to fit the tiny, tiny, tiny tail the hippo has. And then that one leg pretends to be the hippo's tail.

Cristina: Yes. Because it's a smart hippo.

Jack: It's a smart hippo. That's so disturbing about like werewolves that they would even do that.

Cristina: Yes, but that is so disturbing. But anyways, lets talk about werewolves and vampires and the common traits of a werewolf and a vampire piece. I would love to talk about vampires. I want to compare and contrast. Well, we know that they're both creatures of the night.

Jack: Yes. Although I don't think it's exclusively creatures of the night for werewolves. There are versions of werewolves that are purebred werewolves that move in the daylight. I think they just need the full moon to transform. Or in some cases it's to transform.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like in other cases it just permanently keeps them transformed.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So a lot of the versions of werewolf are that I'M only a werewolf as long as there's a full moon. And as soon as the full moon's gone, I'm not a werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it needs to be night so that the light of the moon is the most dominant light in the sky. So the moon could be full and outside, but you not be a werewolf because it's not the most dominant light in the sky. You're getting sunlight combined with moonlight. You need strong moonlight without the sun in the way. In the way to turn. In other cases, you are already carrying a werewolf DNA and you could become a werewolf, but you have to kill the werewolf that turned you into a werewolf before your next full moon, or you become permanently a werewolf. Those are two different variants. And in the case of that second option, you could become a werewolf day.

Cristina: Or night if you're a baby werewolf. If you're unrelated to the main werewolf, you could do it whenever.

Jack: If you've been bitten and turned into a werewolf, you don't need the full moon to turn into a werewolf.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: You just permanently get trapped as a werewolf after the full moon.

Cristina: And then after the full moon, though, then it has to be a full moon.

Jack: Interesting. Maybe those are two things that work together because you can. I don't know why it would stop you suddenly from being able to turn. Maybe because it could be like you turn whenever, but then after the full moon. Now you turn only on the full moon. I feel like that's less productive than you turning whenever.

Cristina: Yeah, but also for the vampire. Not all stories have vampires that are weak during the day or they have to sleep during daytime. That just became the favorite over time.

Jack: But usually they're hybrids.

Cristina: Hybrids?

Jack: Yeah. They're not pure vampires.

Cristina: How can you tell?

Jack: Because pure vampires can't go out in daylight.

Cristina: Well, in some stories, I guess. But some stories, some vampires can I believe.

Jack: Usually those are the very, very old vampires. And they still get affected by the sunlight. Like it burns slowly. So they can travel through the sunlight, but they can't stay in the sunlight.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah, there's actually. I forgot what it was called. It's a breakdown of how vampires work. Like their age ranges or something like that. Really, they're. Before a certain point, going into the sunlight turns you into stone or it ignites your skin. Actually, yeah. One turns you into stone, the younger ones, and then they crumble or ash. It turns them into ash. Then somewhere in their teens, a vampirism, they get turned into stone. Then somewhere in their mid middle age, they get a vampirism. You could be any age, but like in the middle ages of being a vampire.

Cristina: So it would be like hundreds of years pass.

Jack: Yeah, hundreds of years or something like that. Maybe like 200 years. Your skin sets on fire, but you don't die instantly the way you do younger, where you get turned into stone or ash. Then later you get. Your body sizzles, but you do not ignite. And then finally your body gradually starts heating up so you can move through.

Cristina: Sunlight but sizzle like you tan or.

Jack: No, like your body will eventually burn the way it would. Like in all of these instances, your body's still burning, but it's slower and slower each time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: At the first case you just turn to ash. In the second case you turn to stone and then to ash, but you gradually turn to stone.

Cristina: Yeah, but these are like hundreds or like years apart from each stage.

Jack: Yes, yes. We're talking like the first one within the first hundred years. Second one, Maybe the first two, 300 years. The third one maybe like 500 years. You know, giant gaps.

Cristina: Okay, so then in both situations then they. They're mainly at night still. Werewolves and vampires.

Jack: Not werewolves.

Cristina: Vampires, not werewolves. Okay.

Jack: Vampires are mainly at night. Werewolves have some ways around the rules.

Cristina: Yeah. Especially baby you, I guess, bitten ones. That's what you're saying.

Jack: Yeah. Because there are bits born werewolves, there's also born vampires that work very differently. There's the whole trade off of when a creature is born with the DNA and when a creature is turned. Now there's all. There are some versions of each of these that don't allow for birth to happen. So you can only become. You can't be born as.

Cristina: Yes. And the way they become, though, are the same. That they have to be bitten. Yes, that it has to be through blood or saliva.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: And I think that's pretty much it that I could think of that they have in common, though.

Jack: But there are some crossing lines between werewolves and vampires that seem to be pretty similar.

Cristina: Yeah. Let's talk about vampires and where they come from, because we know werewolves are. Well, we really don't know much. We know that they could either be made or by gods getting revenge. Remember that? Yeah. Or wearing a furry belt.

Jack: Being a furry.

Cristina: Being a furry. Being bitten could turn you into a werewolf, of course.

Jack: Or drinking print water.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: Or being outside in the moonlight.

Cristina: Vampires could be just evil people, people who committed suicide or witches that are coming back to life after they're dead because of. I guess evilness is bringing them back to dead from the dead. Yes. And they could Also be created by. By evil spirit or by being bitten by a vampire.

Jack: By evil spirit. Yeah. Being bitten by a vampire is normal. And what do they mean by evil spirit?

Cristina: Just like a spirit going into a dead body.

Jack: So a person who's possessed is a vampire?

Cristina: Yeah, could turn into a vampire.

Jack: So all the exorcist movies are about vampires?

Cristina: Yes, only if they suck blood. That's the important part. Right.

Jack: So vampires. A vampiric spirit.

Cristina: Yeah, a vampiric spirit will turn you into a vampire. Also, in Slavic and Chinese traditions, dead bodies that are jumped over by an animal, usually a dog or a cat, their chances of being a vampire is pretty great.

Jack: That's weird. I don't know why that's pretty weird. That's pretty weird.

Cristina: Yes. And in Russia, vampires were witches or people who had rebelled against the church.

Jack: My question is then, are they vampires who suck blood or are they describing these people as vampires? Is it like a title rather than a creature?

Cristina: I think it's a creature. I think they really believe they're going to become this creature that drinks blood after they're dead.

Jack: Okay, that's weird.

Cristina: That's weird.

Jack: I'm sure the Church made that up.

Cristina: You think the Church made that up?

Jack: Yeah, to control people into following the line.

Cristina: Mmm. But a lot of these stories came before the church, too. Like the jumping dog on the dead body predates Christianity. What, the dog jumping over a dead body? Possibly.

Jack: You think it predates Christianity? You're telling me that that myth of a animal jumping over a person and that person transforming predates Christianity? Running the world, which seems to be one of the longest running jokes in all of time.

Cristina: Do we have pet dogs before Christianity?

Jack: That doesn't mean that myth came to be.

Cristina: That's true. I don't know.

Jack: Even when the concept of werewolf came to be.

Cristina: Yeah, well, the Greek ones, that would have been pre Christianity, wouldn't it, if Zeus was turning you into a werewolf?

Jack: Is this, I guess, was turning people.

Cristina: Into werewolves just one dude for being bad?

Jack: Fair enough.

Cristina: So unless he was Zeus around when.

Jack: God was around, I'm sure they're brothers.

Cristina: Yeah. And some more weird vampire stuff that you probably did not know is that in Europe, to slow down a vampire, you would cut their tendons on their knees. Ow. The dead body. If you suspected that dead body to be a vampire, you would cut their knee.

Jack: That seems legit. But why? Oh, what's the owl for? They're dead.

Cristina: Yeah, that's true. That's true. They're dead, so who cares? But it's such a weird. No, I guess I'm still thinking about the werewolves and like how you're torturing these living people to see. But these are dead people, so it's okay.

Jack: Yeah, you just mutilated that body. It's all good.

Cristina: That's fine. And then you also would place seeds, millet, sand around the grave. Because vampires love counting things, I guess. I don't know. No, because the sesame vampire.

Jack: It's because your f****** name is the Count. Is that why the Count?

Cristina: What? Vampires have to count things. I don't know why. They just do.

Jack: That's so crazy that they have to.

Cristina: They have this obsession of counting things.

Jack: To count all the sugar grains around them. Come on, man.

Cristina: Yes. If you have a lot of. A little bit of things like sand, they just. You'll trap a vampire.

Jack: That doesn't make sense. And why is a vampire functional at all? When they're in the forest, why aren't they just counting all the rocks? Big a** holes in that f****** plant?

Cristina: Because they're not in the forest, they're in graves.

Jack: Why aren't they counting all the dead bodies and all the insects in the.

Cristina: We don't know. They didn't do that before. They had to drink blood. They counted really fast and then they went to get food.

Jack: Nah, man. There's holes here.

Cristina: Yeah, that's in Europe. But China also has the same thing where a sack. You throw a sack of rice in front of a vampire, they have to count every grain of rice.

Jack: No, I disagree. That doesn't make any sense.

Cristina: How do you know the weakness of.

Jack: A vampire is not a bag of rice?

Cristina: Yes, you slow them down that way. How did you not? Have you heard of that before?

Jack: I've heard about it. I just don't believe it.

Cristina: Yeah, how are we to judge? We haven't seen it. We haven't tried it out.

Jack: Because then it's easy to beat them.

Cristina: Well, then you have to actually attack them afterwards. I guess that would be the hard part.

Jack: Just keep throwing bags of f****** rice.

Cristina: What happens when you run out of it?

Jack: You won't. You won't.

Cristina: And we don't know how fast they can count.

Jack: Not fast enough. You just keep throwing bags of rice. Yeah, they aren't lightning. Yeah, they're fast, but not light.

Cristina: You try to lead them to a beach.

Jack: Yeah, I wonder if that. Yeah, that's it. They're done. You win.

Cristina: They're just frozen. They're counting the sand.

Jack: How could they even differentiate beyond some point? How do they know what they've Counted?

Cristina: I don't know. They just have to restart. It's a mess. It's a vampire nightmare. Yeah, that's why you don't see vampires on the beach.

Jack: How do they know, man? Like, how does a vampire exit their grave and make it out? Because there's trees maybe.

Cristina: It has to be just tiny things because all these things are really tiny.

Jack: So they're like Valley Girls and like Tokyo party girls that they just love tiny things.

Cristina: Yes. Yes they are. Why are you judging these vampires who are obsessed with tiny things and need to count them all?

Jack: Apparently. Do they also shop at the Gap? The f***?

Cristina: And to protect yourself against vampires? Well, you probably know all these things. Garlic, the Bible, crucifix, holy water and mirrors. Ward off the vampire.

Jack: I'm 95% sure the church has nothing.

Cristina: To do with that.

Jack: No, the Bible created a vampire.

Cristina: The Bible created a vampire.

Jack: I'm sure reading from the Bible is how vampires are made. It's like making holy water.

Cristina: What do you mean?

Jack: Like a passage out of the Bible into a cup or something.

Cristina: And then what? Then you turn it to holy water.

Jack: It's turned into holy water? I guess.

Cristina: I don't really know.

Jack: Boil it.

Cristina: Boil it.

Jack: You boil the h*** out of it. And then it's holy water.

Cristina: And then it's holy water.

Jack: Yeah, because you boiled the h*** out of it.

Cristina: Well, so tell me that doesn't make sense. Huh? And vampires are unable to cross sacred ground like churches and temples. And for some reason they can't cross water. I don't know if water is also sacred or they just can't swim or. Now what's going on?

Jack: Let's look at a couple of descriptions of vampires, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: If you're already excessively white, it's hard to call you pale per se. In the dead of night, you're just white. But if you're already dark skinned, then it's easy to say that person is pale because they are a different kind of dark skin that looks kind of like if you put a fade filter over something that they have like that kind of pale off color look.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So this goes back to the racist ideology that black people can't swim. And also saying that black people were the vampires, you're saying they were the.

Cristina: Vampires and the werewolves.

Jack: I'm saying white people made all of these up, which means the white person has to be the hero according to the white person, which means the monster had to be the non white person.

Cristina: Whoa. What? Why are you ruining these creatures?

Jack: Because white people are racist.

Cristina: Well, we Know that.

Jack: Who is it who isn't racist? Like, fair enough. Who's not racist? Anybody who's like, only the white people are racist. Like, shut up. Shut up. Had you been in that position, you'd call them vampires.

Cristina: I call them vampires.

Jack: Although the witches were also colored women.

Cristina: Weren't they just women?

Jack: They were colored women.

Cristina: They were young women. I thought, yeah, young colored women crazy.

Jack: A lot of the time.

Cristina: Or older ladies. I don't know.

Jack: Colored women a lot of the time, yes.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That's why the voodoo priestess thing is very commonly the black woman. That all. It's coming back from the same tree of. Oh, they do magic, those witches. Those are the black women.

Cristina: Ah.

Jack: That just branches down now.

Cristina: They're werewolves, vampires and witches, which are.

Jack: All just white people coming up with different derogatory names and s*** for just ways to get black people killed.

Cristina: Okay. What? Yeah, it's crazy. That's so messed up. But anyway, vampires can't enter the house unless you invite them over.

Jack: That's a weird one.

Cristina: Yeah. And they can go come and go after that point. It's just the first time thing, which they need your permission, but once you give it to them, that's it.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: I don't know why, but I don't know, I wonder.

Jack: Because it's. Let's see, things that have those same rules. There are, like, the Bible has those rules. You gotta let Jesus into your heart and give them permission. You gotta give them permission. Do you accept Christ as your savior? No. Then he can't come in. And vampires have to also do that same thing. Werewolves don't give a s***. They'll break in.

Cristina: Yeah, but the werewolf stories, they didn't seem to break into any place. They were just outside waiting for you.

Jack: Yeah, interesting, maybe.

Cristina: So maybe they can't come in.

Jack: But they don't have the capacity to communicate, to try to convince you. Like, can I come in?

Cristina: Yes. Except for that werewolf. In that story of the Little Red.

Jack: Riding Hood, she asked for permission.

Cristina: Yeah, He. To the. I think to get in the first time with the old lady, he had to be like, I'm, you know, I'm Little Red Riding Hood. You gotta let me in. And she's like, okay. And then she let him in. And then he, you know, did all.

Jack: That interesting twist on that because for the three little pigs, he also asked for permission to go in. And he said, if you're not gonna let me in, I'll knock your f****** house down.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: He can't just break in. Dude, you could Blow their house down.

Cristina: But he can't go into their door in. Maybe they have the same rule.

Jack: Holy s***. I think they have the same rules.

Cristina: Oh, snap.

Jack: They're just at least that polite about it. They're not gonna be like, hey, can I come in for a cup of dinner?

Cristina: Because they can't communicate that way.

Jack: Yeah. Interesting, interesting. So then my question is what we know that tales like these children's tales come from either warnings that adults have created for children to warn them about bads of the world without making them scared of people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Or real events that have happened in people's that they're warning about in a more literal sense. In the case of the Three Little Piggies and Little Red Riding Hood, were those situations with real werewolves? Because in both cases they were in the forest where the werewolf hangs out.

Cristina: But they called them wolves. They were just wolves.

Jack: Of course. Of course.

Cristina: But it's to not scare the kids from werewolves, I guess.

Jack: Yeah. Because you were talking about a human talking to a wolf.

Cristina: I don't know. Yeah.

Jack: And the three Little pigs, hams, those are just white people.

Cristina: They were calling themselves little pigs. Okay.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Why didn't they pick something else?

Jack: Just a way to make a cute story, I guess. But they're talking to a werewolf or something.

Cristina: Mmm. Yeah.

Jack: And so that werewolf, they were maybe having a legit conversation with a werewolf in those stories. Like, what's the real, the groove version of it, you know? Like, is there a f****** werewolf in these situations that they're having a conversation with? In the case of Little Red Riding Hood, the werewolf can't get in because this goes back to what we're talking about. These lines are crossing heavily because there are the same rules. They kind of have the same timelines, they have the same ways of turning into one another. Are we just talking about a shapeshifter? Take many different forms, but it doesn't matter because the same rules for turning into the same rules for entering property, the same rules for defeat to some degree are all there.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You got to remove the head of a vampire the same way you got to remove the head of a f****** werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The bite turns you. In both cases, usually killing the one who turned you turns you back. If you do it before a certain period of time or whatever.

Cristina: So it's all the same story.

Jack: Interesting. In vampire's case, you have to kill the vampire before your bloodlust gets to you, before you have to feed.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So you kill the vampire who turned you before you feed. The way you kill the wolf who turned you before the full moon so.

Cristina: You'Re not permanently permanent.

Jack: Same way you're not permanent a vampire if you kill the other one before you drink human blood. If you drink human blood, you stay a vampire.

Cristina: So it's the same story. It's just about a different creature. But it's practice. It's practically the same creature. Maybe.

Jack: Yeah, there's some real close lines there.

Cristina: Yeah. And although, like I mentioned before, although vampires were believed to be more active at night, they were not generally considered vulnerable to the sunlight. I don't know. Like, through time they've become weaker to the sun. But originally the sun wasn't their weakness or anything. They just like to move around during the night.

Jack: It was just easier at night.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess because you can catch.

Jack: People at home, people out. You can't. How hard is it to feed outside with streets filled with people?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Especially when everybody's walking.

Cristina: But if it's the same with werewolves, like, you gotta wait for night because.

Jack: That'S the easier time. You could just, like, attack people on their own versus groups.

Cristina: Yeah. Mmm. That could be it. What? What? And the different methods of destroying a vampire. Or I guess, murder. I guess you can't really say murder because it's already dead.

Jack: It's not dead. Neither a vampire nor a zombie are dead.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We've established this.

Cristina: But it's. The person who was. The vampire is dead, though.

Jack: Disagree.

Cristina: No. You think the person's still alive?

Jack: Yes, I think in both cases the person is alive. You're just talking about level of brain function in the case.

Cristina: I mean, the original person. Like, if a vampire takes over your body, you're not there anymore.

Jack: I don't think there's a different per. I think a vampire is like, interview with a vampire. Like, that guy remembers his past life, he remembers all of it, and he's like, man, I wish I could go back to being that.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But, like, I'm here now. I can't stop it.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That seems real to me versus, I guess I just see to exist.

Cristina: Okay. Because that's how it sounds like, though. Like, a demon comes into your dead body.

Jack: And in the case of you being possessed and thus being a vampire. I guess. Yeah, but you turning into a vampire, that's not something else invading you. That's you who already exists. Turning. Turning into a vampire.

Cristina: Yeah, well. Okay, well, when you turn into a vampire, the things we gotta do to get rid of you is taking you through the heart and some. And through the mouth. For some reason. I don't know why the mouth, but.

Jack: The brain, maybe you're trying to hit the brain, maybe.

Cristina: And the stomach. Those are the three good spots.

Jack: So you mean, like where the heart is, the brain is, or like, organs. Vital organs. So essentially the way you'd kill a human.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Do that and you'll kill a vampire?

Cristina: Definitely. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's exactly the same.

Jack: Sounds about right. I feel like a lot of things could be killed that way.

Cristina: Also, getting rid of the head and then burning it.

Jack: Sounds about right.

Cristina: Oh, burying the head between the feet or behind the b*** or away from the body for some reason. You just got to keep that head away once you get it off the.

Jack: Body, because the body is gonna go get it the same way a werewolf would.

Cristina: But if you hide it behind its b***, can it just get it?

Jack: Not if you tie its hands in the front and you tape the head to the b***. How would he get the head if his hands are tight in front of him? You can also do it the opposite way and tie his hand behind him. And if he's a guy, you can hang his own head off of his own d***, tape it against her. So he's forever blowing himself, but he can't do anything but blow himself, but blow himself for all of eternity.

Cristina: Whoa. Revenge on that vampire. Revenge.

Jack: Also something that applies to anyone and everyone, except in most cases, those people are dead. And you just made a corpse blow itself.

Cristina: Yes. Why? Whatever. We're crazy. You can't blame us. We're crazy.

Jack: Yeah. There's something wrong with humans for sure.

Cristina: And also, pouring boiling water over the grave. What?

Jack: To, like, super make sure.

Cristina: I guess instead of burning it, you don't got fire. Use water.

Jack: Here's the thing. I think the grave, like, is the grave already covered back up?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Because if it's, like, there's a bunch of dirt, like, that dirt's gonna, like, cool that water down.

Cristina: We should probably do it to the body. If we're gonna burn the body, why not boil the body as well?

Jack: With, like, oil?

Cristina: With oil.

Jack: With oil, not water. Going easy.

Cristina: Yeah. Also, vampires could be shot or drowned, of course, or sprinkled by holy water.

Jack: So everything plus demon stuff. So a vampire is basically a person and could die any way you'd kill a person.

Cristina: Plus exorcism.

Jack: Plus exorcism.

Cristina: Although I feel like if you exercise a human, they might die too.

Jack: Some of the methods of exorcism would kill a normal human.

Cristina: Yes. That's why there has been cases where humans who were exercised go to court against the church because, like, I had mental problems and you destroyed me. That's been real thing that has happened, too.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Yeah. And then you could also put garlic in its mouth and then shoot a bullet through the coffin.

Jack: So, like, I don't feel you need the garlic at that point. Like, you could just.

Cristina: If you just do one, it won't work.

Jack: Just shoot him. He's fine. But if he's got garlic and you shoot him, boom, you solve that problem.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Isn't the garlic what's being effective there? Why don't you just fill, like, prison style instead of filling a bag up with soap?

Cristina: And if you don't have garlic, you could use lemon. You put lemon in its mouth.

Jack: So like, maybe being a vampire is more of a, like, genetic disorder where, like, you're just allergic to a bunch of s***.

Cristina: You're just allergic to a bunch of.

Jack: You're allergic to garlic and lemons. And then they put them there and you, like, super weak and dying and can't breathe, and then they shoot you.

Cristina: Duh. Oh, I forgot to mention. Oh, my gosh. This story. To find the graves of vampires. Oh, my gosh. You need to have a virgin boy riding a virgin horse. And then the horse will get scared at the grave that the vampire is in.

Jack: Because vampires rape virgin boys and horses.

Cristina: I don't know. I just think the priest might need help to know which one's the virgin.

Jack: I do, too. I think that's exactly what's happening. I think this goes back to white people in power and the church, for whatever reason.

Cristina: But why a virgin horse? You think he needs the horse too?

Jack: Probably.

Cristina: When he can't have the boy, he'll have the horse.

Jack: No, no, no. He's gonna have the boy, but he's also gonna have the horse.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Also, graves with hoes over it. I guess, like, hoes are appearing on top of the grave.

Jack: That's an arm that poked out.

Cristina: I guess maybe that's what they think happened.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: And they're just holes there. Maybe someone's trying to actually steal that grave or something.

Jack: I think it's the other way around. I think they accidentally buried a living person who was like, I could do it.

Cristina: I can do it. I can get out, get out. Then that person suffocates and dies, but they think it's a vampire. So they're gonna put a lemon in its mouth and shoot it?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, pretty much. If they. I wonder how many times that happened. They accidentally. Like, somebody was in a coma or passed out. Or some s***. They threw him in a grave, and they. The person gains consciousness while in this hole.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then they're trying to get out, and they're like, it's a vampire. F****** shoot it. Not Jimmy was alive. F****** kill it. It's a zombie or something.

Cristina: Nope, just shoot it. That's so crazy, taking no chances.

Jack: I think that's why it's a law or some s*** that you got to dig a shallow grave when you put somebody at the beginning.

Cristina: Really.

Jack: I think so. I'm not really sure.

Cristina: I know they have, like, bells on graves just in case they bury a person alive so you can ring that bell. I don't even know if that's a true story. That might just have been a legend. And then people just took it too seriously and were like, just in case this happens to me, I want a bell on my grave.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: But I don't know.

Jack: Maybe I'll be buried alive.

Cristina: Mm. So now that's enough vampire talks. Let's talk about other creatures that are. That can transform and drink blood. I guess that's the important thing we need that's in common with vampires and werewolves and chupacabras.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: And the first creature up is wendingos, and I. Not really sure what a wendigo look like. It's a creature that takes over a body, and that person goes mad and eats people.

Jack: Now, to my understanding, a wendingo kind of looks like a werewolf.

Cristina: I don't think so. Do they?

Jack: I do think so, but I don't. Here's the. Here's the difference. I don't think they look like it. Depictions of them look like it. Yeah, that's the problem. When dingoes are depicted, it's kind of looking like werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah. But then they go inside the human, and then the human does these acts.

Jack: I don't think the wind dingo looks like that. I think the human dingo combo looks like that.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yes. Because there's a. The original wendigo that turns.

Jack: That's just.

Cristina: Yeah, but like a werewolf and a vampire that they have to be bitten. This thing bites, I guess, quote unquote, the. The victim, and then he turns into a win dingo and then he murders everyone.

Jack: Yes. There you go.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So they turn to something that looks like a werewolf in depictions, in depictions.

Cristina: Okay. But from the stories, it just. It's really crazy when dingles, after being after a person is. Becomes a win dingle. They just. They have an incredible need for greed, murder, and cannibalism. Even though there might Be food around, they'll still murder.

Jack: So they're like just aggressively wrathful and violent.

Cristina: Yes. There's been like two cases about Wendingell's. One case was in 1878 where a guy named Swift Runner and his family were starving and there was emergency food 25 miles away. And for some reason, instead of the guy going to get the food, Swift Runner just killed and ate his family, which were like I think five other people. And then he eventually confessed to the crime and got executed.

Jack: But he doesn't sound like he was a win dingo. He sounds like a f****** lunatic who was clear minded.

Cristina: Probably blamed the Wendigo. Yeah, yeah. That's why I think happened. I mean it could be just a crazy guy.

Jack: Sounds like a crazy guy.

Cristina: That's what. There's the debate over this Wendingo thing. Like are these really people that. What is. Are these people? Do these people really believe that they got the spirit taking over them to kill an ether family which makes them a schizophrenic or are they lying and just. They want. They kill their family and they need.

Jack: An excuse, which is where the Wendingo comes in.

Cristina: Yeah. So I don't know, like in theory.

Jack: If you're in a place that's superstitious enough, you could get away with that.

Cristina: If you're. Yeah, I guess. But he didn't get away with that. And they've also. There was another case where just the person who takes care of the Wendingo problem got in trouble because he was killing the Wendigo, which is really. He was killing people.

Jack: So he was a serial killer.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Picked very specific people, killed them and said they were possessed by Wendingo.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah, that's. Wow.

Jack: That's a clever way. But that just goes back to the serial killer who was pretending he was hearing the voice of a dog.

Cristina: Yes, that's exactly what these cases reminded me of. Because that's what they were arguing. Like whether is he really hearing a demon talk to him saying kill these people or is he using that as excuse to kill these people?

Jack: He was the Son of Sam, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they were basically doing the Son.

Cristina: Of Sam shtick before he.

Jack: Before the son. Which case. That makes the Son of Sam the. The f****** copycat killer.

Cristina: Oh, maybe. But he wasn't eating people, so it wasn't the same type of crime he was committing.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: He was just shooting ladies.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: But claiming that the reason was.

Cristina: Was because of a demon dog.

Jack: Yeah, I was hearing demon dog.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: And thus I went ahead and did the crime.

Cristina: Yeah. So it might be the same case. I don't know. And then there's this other creature that's called the witchooge, which is a man eating creature that could also possess people. It's like an ancient giant animal in its natural form, I think. And then it goes into regular people.

Jack: Like an ancient giant animal. Like that physical creature.

Cristina: Like a spirit animal.

Jack: Forest spirit. Like Shinto.

Cristina: Yeah, like a giant spirit animal comes inside of Zelda.

Jack: Twilight Princess with the floating animal spirits that you gotta collect the gems from and keep them kind of in reality.

Cristina: I have no idea. I don't remember that. But yes. These giant spirit animals come inside you.

Jack: They come inside you they come inside you these giant spirit animals come inside.

Cristina: You youu can become. Oh, it's huge. By breaking a taboo or becoming too strong. I don't know what too strong means, but like maybe you work out too much and then you become now a man eating creature.

Jack: Out of curiosity, do you actually eat people or you beat the s*** out of them is a common trait. Beating the s*** out of them?

Cristina: No, it's eating so they don't beat.

Jack: The s*** out of people.

Cristina: No, I mean, maybe, I don't know. But it seeks to eat people.

Jack: Interesting. Have they seen people? Have they seen people possessed by this? Are there stories of people?

Cristina: There's just stories of people because it's.

Jack: Possible that the steroids of that time were causing roid rage. And that's what they mean by too strong.

Cristina: Too strong? Yeah.

Jack: Then you're having blind rages over dumb s*** and just beating the s*** out.

Cristina: Of people to death, fighting them. And then they're like, ah, he's a wetchug. Well, you want to hear about the taboos that you shouldn't break?

Jack: I guess it could be witch hudge. So long as there's a GE at the end, which Hudge. Either way it works.

Cristina: You want to hear about the taboos yet you should not break.

Jack: Taboos for what? For the witch. Huge.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: For the witch Hudge.

Cristina: Yes, go for it. There's probably a bunch, but three of them. A person that has that takes gets a picture of them with a flash. I guess that flash is a taboo. If you get a picture of you taken with a flash is one listening to music made of stretched string like a guitar and eating meat with fly eggs in it. Don't break those taboos.

Jack: And that's it. You don't become a witchage.

Cristina: Yes, that and don't become too strong.

Jack: Guess that's it for working Out?

Cristina: Yes. This creature seeks out to eat people and attempts to lure them away by being cunning. I don't know what the cunningness is.

Jack: Smart. Clever.

Cristina: No, I. I know that I don't know what they use to be cunning.

Jack: Oh.

Cristina: Like what? How do. Like, do they. If it's a child, the cunning would be like, here's candy. Come with me. I'm not gonna eat you.

Jack: So Ted Bundy was a wet judge, is he?

Cristina: Mmm. Oh, and some of these things, the true form of it is made out of ice and it's very strong and you can kill it by throwing it on campfire and you keep it there overnight and then it melts away and then you're done with the problem.

Jack: So they are ice monsters.

Cristina: Yeah. I guess you become an ice monster eventually, is what's happening. Not the true form, because the true form, I think, is the spirit creature thing.

Jack: So a wendingo and a witch are exactly the same thing? Essentially, yeah. Most likely regional derivatives of each other.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But they all involve getting a person who turns into them.

Cristina: Yes. To turn into them. Yep.

Jack: Do they have rules for entry or anything of that nature? Do you have to, like, let them in?

Cristina: No, I think you just gotta be a really bad person. Or. I don't. The first one, I don't know. The second one, it sounds like becoming too strong.

Jack: This worked out too much. And now I'm a monster.

Cristina: Yeah. Oh. I guess the first one might be like being too greedy for some reason or it turns you into being too greedy. I'm not really sure what comes first.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Are you greedy beforehand or not? I don't know. But being a weshog is considered a curse and a punishment. So I guess that is if you're bad, you're gonna be cursed and then you're gonna want to eat people. I guess some werewolf stories are like that too. It's just a curse put on you sometimes. Alright, we're running out of time. What do you think of all that information?

Jack: I think that's pretty interesting. I think that that holds makes a pretty good argument for a werewolf, vampire, Chupacabra, the Win Dingo and the Wetchudge to be kind of different people's tales of the same creature, whether it be different eras in time or different regions giving it different names, but referring to the same thing. It's sort of the God problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like if you're Islamic, you say Allah. If you are Christian, you say Jehovah. But if I showed you a picture of the one true God both of, and you Some, for whatever reason, knew exactly what he looked like. Both groups would aim at the same thing. Yeah, I think it's that case.

Cristina: It could be.

Jack: I think that if everybody knew for a fact what you mean when you say vampire or wetchudge or werewolf or win dingo or chupacabra, and I brought up a single photo of a shapeshifter and you just happen to know for a fact what these creatures look like. You'd all aim at the one picture I'm holding and realize, oh, f***, we were talking about the same thing.

Cristina: Yeah. It's interesting that some shapeshifters like to be animals over human, though. The vampire is the only form that it's like. It prefers being human, I guess, in a way. Maybe the Wendigle too. I'm not sure.

Jack: Here's an interesting point that I'll make before we get out of here, which is the possibility that the intellectual level of the creature allows for a more complex transformation. So that if you can have the capacity of a person, you are a particularly intelligent shapeshifter. You can imitate a human.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Thus you turn into a vampire if you are more animalistic, but can sort of get there. Maybe all their goals is trying to get to the human where they could just blend in to the best creature to eat.

Cristina: Yes. The whole thing is to shapeshift into their meal so it can be easier for them to get closer to their meal.

Jack: Exactly.

Cristina: Except for the werewolf fails the most, I guess.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: But they are able to turn into a creature that's around their food.

Jack: Yes. So the idea is always the blend in. Not necessarily to imitate their food, but to blend into their environment so their food doesn't know they're there.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And in the case of a werewolf, they don't have the complexity to take this s*** because I guess you have to also behave the part.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So maybe you have the capacity to become a human, but you have to be able to imitate a human brain because we're assuming you're an anomalous being. Otherwise.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You're understand, your quote, brain, unquote, is a different thing. And so you imitate a human perfectly, then you behave like a human. If you can imitate a superhuman, you are a vampire. There are way less of that than there are werewolves. Way more werewolves. Because you can do that easier because you're not fully human looking, you're more animalistic looking. It takes less effort than becoming a human. Yeah, well, becoming a human takes less effort than looking like a vampire. So it's really about capacity.

Cristina: What? Yes.

Jack: And like a wendingo and a wet church are way down the totem pole down there with like werewolves. Werewolves, yeah, yeah, they're down there with those creatures. Yeah, same thing. While the Chupacabra is the furthest thing, it's nothing like a human.

Cristina: No.

Jack: It's notably a weird creature.

Cristina: Yeah, it looks like it's trying to be too much creatures at once, kind of.

Jack: Then so does the werewolf.

Cristina: Looks like it's just being wants to be a werewolf, doesn't it?

Jack: Well, a werewolf isn't a f****** thing. A werewolf is a creature that looks like a combination of a wolf and a human.

Cristina: Oh, okay, okay, I see.

Jack: So the idea here would be that maybe when we're talking about shape shifters, we're not just talking about one thing, although we kind of are. We're talking about sort of the difference between a Chihuahua, a Rottweiler, a greyhound. Like maybe there are different kinds of shape shifters. They're all the same general thing. Like I can call every animal. I just said a dog. Yes, but they're also different kinds of dogs. Yes. Different species within the same branch thing or not different species, different races of the same species.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So maybe there are different races within the same species of shapeshifter, which allows for more complicated transformation in the future.

Cristina: I would like to go on to that. Hopefully we'll get there eventually. Of talking about the different species of shape shifts shifters.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: But just get, I would like to stick to the blood drinking though.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Because there's a million shapeshifters. Of course, yeah.

Jack: There's even animals that drink blood.

Cristina: There's animals. Oh yeah.

Jack: There's normal animals that drink blood.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That seems to be a trait which tells us there might be creatures that exist in nature that are already sort of connected.

Jack: Two shapeshifters. They might have a branching like DNA strand or something.

Cristina: Maybe. Fascinating, interesting. Okay.

Jack: But it'll. It'll be way easier when we finally capture this werewolf we've been hunting down and we can bring that f***** in, put him in a cage, probably next to the Reptilians, Cause f*** them, send that b**** to Mars. Now that we've built that whole study facility up there. So we'll send that to Mars with the rest of the f****** things we've got up there and we'll run some experiments and find out what we're gonna do with that. Well, we find out, maybe we can get it just to turn into something that doesn't look like a werewolf, but we're closing in. Yeah, closing in. The sub humans are out there doing their job.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: Anyways, if you guys enjoy this topic, there are millions of this sort on the show. You can find many episodes where we're discussing things of this nature, a bunch of different types of creat. Previous, more primitive versions of this conversation. We don't touch on the same things that we touched on here, but we kind of brush around the different subject matters, including the Chupacabra, shapeshifters and things of other things and shapes like reptilians and whatnot, even alien creatures who might potentially be the Chupacabra in the first place. To find those episodes, you guys can find them on the official website, greythoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review the show.

Cristina: Let someone who might like the show know about it.

Jack: Yes, the power of word of mouth is the greatest power in the whole wide world. And that makes you a superhero, technically speaking.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Podcast. Take nothing personal, and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: That's how they sounded like. Okay, you know how they sound like I've heard it. I don't know what's happening there. I mean, I guess that's what. Yes. I remember as a child listening to my parents.

Jack: And that's what it sounded like. Yeah, just gibberish. Like you didn't understand s***.

Cristina: Not that, like, if you're bored and you don't, you're not really paying attention, but you have to pay attention because maybe you did something bad or whatever, and they're just trying to explain something.

Jack: And you're like, somehow I doubt there was a moment in your life in which you did something bad.

Cristina: The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.

November 21, 2020

Rambling 110: Cannibal Thanksgiving

November 21, 2020/ GreyThoughts.Info

Thanksgiving, comedy, cannibal, werewolf, creepy, scary, just conversation, the just conversation podcast, legend, urban legend, mythology, science, folklore

Are there still cannibals in the world? Do they eat people on thanksgiving? A Thanksgiving Special discussing human meat and cannibal dishes throughout history.

Story:
On this very special episode, the clones discuss all the possible ways to have family and friends over for dinner and situations throughout history in which cannibalism was either needed for survival or desired. From Jamestown to Indigenous Australians and more. The truth about Cannibalism is as surprising as what the duo discover human meat tastes like. All that and more on this episode of Just Conversation.

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!

Topics Discussed

Jamestown Settlement
Christopher Columbus
Cannibalism
Jane Doe’s Body
Batman vs Green Arrow
Agreed Cannibalism
Jeffrey Dahmer
The Taste of Human
Mummy Medicine
Cannibal Animals
Wendigo

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

+Transcript

Jack: With Thanksgiving coming and it being the era of COVID many of us are losing family members and loved ones. So we're not gonna have them all at the table. But have you ever wondered if it's possible for you to still have your deceased family for dinner? I mean, literally, have you ever wondered if you can literally eat your deceased family for dinner? Well, on this episode, we're gonna find out if that's all. That and more, coming up on Just Conversation.

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes, and this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on the topics we discuss. So be sure to go get somebody. You don't need to know who they are. You could just go outside and find someone. You know, it's easy, man.

Cristina: You make it sound like it's something bad, though, that they're about to do.

Jack: Yeah, it's totally easy. Yeah. You kidnap them, you tie them up, you put them in chains, you put them on a boat, you sail over to where the podcast is being showcased. You let them off the boat, you tell them you're going to watch this.

Cristina: Why is there a boat involved?

Jack: Why wouldn't there be a boat involved?

Cristina: You're going. Are you sailing to the place and then sailing back from the place that.

Jack: You know, now they just stay there. You're not taking. Why would you go get them, do a whole boat ride, and then be like, well, I was just your ride here. Now I'm taking. No. Now you own them.

Cristina: No. Yeah, but I mean, you're leaving your home on a boat to them and then bringing them back to your home on a boat.

Jack: No, you're not bringing them to your home. You're just getting them to take them to where the show is being aired.

Cristina: Oh. Which is not their home.

Jack: Which is not your home there.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah. Now you own a bunch of people.

Cristina: Yes. That sounds just. That sounds right. Right.

Jack: Sounds right. No. Fair enough. We've established in the past that Thanksgiving seemingly had nothing to do with the slaves or pilgrims or natives. Thanksgiving has nothing to do with anything. We thought it had anything to do with.

Cristina: It has to do with the lizard people.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Remember?

Jack: But that's none of the other stuff that's none of the intuitive. It was pilgrims who brought slaves and enslaved natives and like made white people somehow.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Because here's the idea, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they come from Europe, the conquistadores. Presumably one of the non British parts of Europe, because that was just the original settlers that came avoiding England. But we have like the. The Spaniards and those douchebags traveling the coast. They're not the coasty islands. Kidnapping people and dropping them off on different islands. Sprinkling black people on the islands here. Some for you and some for you. And then the black people mixing with the natives that were there at the same time that the. That the span Spaniards and the Portuguese and the Italians were f****** all of them. So there's like.

Cristina: Can I say something about the Spaniards, though?

Jack: What?

Cristina: That their queen was like, you can't enslave anyone unless they're cannibals. And then they're like, they're cannibals. And then.

Jack: No f****** way. Really?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah, they said they're all cannibals.

Cristina: Of course. Like. Yep, these people are cannibals. We're witnessing cannibalism everywhere we go. I guess we gotta enslave them.

Jack: So the queen. Hey, Bob. Yeah, Jeff? We can't put these people in cages. Why not? Because the queen said only if they're cannibals. Well, well, look, dude, don't you see them eating each other? Nah, dude. No, no, no, you're not understanding. Don't you see them eating each other? Ah, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, I see them meeting each other. You see, we have to enslave them. They're savages, all of them.

Cristina: Yep, that was Christopher Columbus there.

Jack: That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's all f***** because then we have the people who came from England and established that first settlement, Jamestown, and then they all ate each other. So, like, the f****** conquistadors were the cannibals, Technically speaking.

Cristina: But they're not the people from Jamestown, though. The British. The British people aren't the conquistadors.

Jack: Yeah, no, I'm saying that the original settlers aren't conquistadores. Well, actually, the conquistadores never really came to the United States.

Cristina: They just saw it. That's it. Or like, what? Where did they end up? Just on islands or something?

Jack: Christopher Columbus didn't ever land in what is now known in the United States as America. He landed in America. Not in the United States. South America.

Cristina: In South America, Yeah. Okay, that makes sense, because Spanish. Yes, yes.

Jack: The British landed in central, in the center of North America, and they spread out north, which is why we have such a US Canada thing going on.

Cristina: That's UK based. Yeah, well, Canada is French, so is that.

Jack: There was some touchy feely stuff going on there too. Yeah, there's a little bit of a joint stuff going, but that was more war related, I think.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: Yeah, I have no idea. I'm terrible at history. All of this is probably wrong.

Cristina: No, it's all facts.

Jack: See, here's the thing. Intuitively, all of this makes sense. Yes, The United States and Canada were definitely visited by the original settlers, which created New England, which is that Boston main eastern area and s***. Jamestown being the first settlement of people who turned out to be cannibals. So the white people are the cannibals, of which the Hispanic white people were like, we're gonna trap the cannibals. Which weren't the black people or the natives, but they arrested all of them anyways because the white people who were eating each other did have guns. And it's like, we're not gonna. With those people. We're gonna go with the people who don't have guns. The British.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Of course, they never even met the British. They just sailed through all the islands and landed in Mexico and then went south from there.

Cristina: And the thing with Jamestown, they finally found evidence, like physical evidence. Besides, I think they had like written letters from the time of what happened.

Jack: What, of the first of the cannibalism? Yeah, that winter. What was it? The. The winter of the fight of 1702 or some s*** like that.

Cristina: From 1609 to 1610. What year did you say?

Jack: I thought it was like 17. I was a whole hundred years off. I was a whole hundred years too early.

Cristina: Yeah, I mean, too late late. Yeah, Yeah.

Jack: I was 200. I was 100 years too late.

Cristina: Close enough, but yeah, doing. Yes, the winter was really bad because there's the Indians. They were trying to do business with different Indians and one of the Indians were like, nah, you can't do that, and started killing them off every time they saw them.

Jack: But to my understanding, there were two settlements already established and they had a trade route established with one of those other white settlements.

Cristina: But the Indians were picking them off.

Jack: So they couldn't trade with the other white settlement.

Cristina: Nah.

Jack: So their foods, because they didn't have the food supply, they had the materials.

Cristina: Food supply coming on a ship. And that ship ended up crashing on another island and they had to fix that ship to come Back, and that took a long time.

Jack: And out of about 500 people, there were 50 left, right? Something like a crazy number like that.

Cristina: Yeah. They lost like 80 to 90% of their people. 500 people lived there before all of them died. Well, not all, but a lot of them died and then ended up with freaking 60 people.

Jack: Yep. So the white people were the. The cannibals all along?

Cristina: Yeah, but they didn't, like, just become cannibals overnight.

Jack: I'm sure it was like an episode of south park, the one where they were trapped in that snowstorm. And it was only like 20 minutes before they decided who they had to eat because they couldn't go out.

Cristina: No, they. Well, in the letters they were. They mentioned that they went. They ate their horses first, then they ate dogs and cats. Then they got weird and started trying to eat leather and things like that. Rats, anything, even roots. But those people died. The ones that went into the woods to try to look for stuff died because of the Indians.

Jack: So the Indians were holding them pretty much captive in their own town.

Cristina: Yep. So they had to get desperate. Someone did try to. I think he killed his pregnant wife to eat her, and they killed him.

Jack: But then they ended up eating them anyways.

Cristina: Well, there's a big no no in cannibalism. You could eat a person as long as they're already dead. You eat the person before they're dead, you're going to jail for life.

Jack: And where does this rule apply in.

Cristina: These kind of situations? And like, if you're starving, if you, like, crash, you're in a plane crash, and there's a few survivals, you can't just pick the weak person to eat. You have to wait for that weak person to die, and then you can eat him, and then you won't get in trou.

Jack: Oh, that's easy. Starve the weak person out, use the supplies for everybody else.

Cristina: As long as everyone, I guess, keeps with the story. And there's no proof that you guys didn't starve him out.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: If you, like, if they find that he was starved out and that's why he died, then it looks like murder.

Jack: Well, it's not murder, but to the.

Cristina: Law, it is murder.

Jack: Does it say specifically you can't starve the person out?

Cristina: I'm pretty sure because it will still be murder. Yeah.

Jack: No, it's not.

Cristina: Murder is not murder.

Jack: You're not choosing to starve them. You're choosing to feed you. And they don't have the capacity to feed themselves over you.

Cristina: I don't know, I don't.

Jack: I could plead this easily in court.

Cristina: Wrong.

Jack: I could plead this easily in court. Yeah. Look, there was this much food, and it belonged to whoever can acquire the food, which was me. So he wasn't good enough to beat me for it. I'd have no obligation to share. It's my food.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I'm American. How many people in the United States starve regularly? Because we don't. So don't bring me this s***. I was doing the capitalistic s*** I'm used to, and I was surviving.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then he died. But I just happened to run out of food around the time he died, so I f****** ate him. Sue me for being a capitalist, then. Go ahead and sue all the capitalists.

Cristina: You should wait a little before you eat him, just to be like, I was, like, in the brink of death before I decided to eat him. I mean, you probably were. Because the food you were eating was probably not enough to fill you up anyway. So maybe you can get away with that. I don't know.

Jack: The advantage is that, man, how the f*** did they eat so many people? Because the problem is that it's cold as f*** outside. I mean, they didn't eat a lot.

Cristina: Well, we don't know if they ate a lot of people. We just know they got so desperate that in the end, eventually some of them got Ian.

Jack: Well, here's the thing. There is snow outside. It's cold as s*** outside. Was a winter. You could preserve the body. Yeah, leave the body outside in the cold. The cold will preserve the body.

Cristina: But they didn't. Like, this is the first time they found a skull from a dead body that's been eaten. So that's why I don't think it's been a bunch of people, because where are all those bodies that were eaten?

Jack: They used the bones to make other.

Cristina: Things, and those things were never found.

Jack: Those things are just clothing.

Cristina: They sold it to the Indians.

Jack: Yeah, man. They use it as weapons to escape Jamestown once the winter was over.

Cristina: Ah. And then no one would know.

Jack: Nobody would know. They were walking in bone armor.

Cristina: Yeah. What? That's kind of badass bone armor. No one would have messed with them.

Jack: Nobody's gonna mess with them. The Indians are like, we thought we were hardcore. These guys came wearing their homies.

Cristina: That's so awful. But who knows what happened? Like, maybe.

Jack: So what happened when they found this skull?

Cristina: They looked to see how this person died. Who was this person? What they found was. It was a girl, and they named her Jane.

Jack: For Jane Doe.

Cristina: Yes. Of Course for Jane Doe, they think she was 14. They found only a part of her skull and chin bone on her skull. There was multiple chops and cut marks. They know she was dead before they decided to cut her up for food. But after that crazy storm, that crazy winter happened, the new person came with their ship and the supplies and everyone was saved. And then he had everyone clean up the mess that was there of the bodies and stuff. And that's probably how they found her skull in a garbage can or whatever. Like a.

Jack: There's. That's probably why they don't find all the other bones.

Cristina: Because he cleaned them up because of the cleanup. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. They could be just buried.

Jack: The bones they did find are the ones that they missed in the cleanup.

Cristina: Mmm. Maybe there's proof that we were cannibals once upon a time. Or at least the H*** sapiens.

Jack: I'm sure we were very cannibalistic a lot of the time.

Cristina: A lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. But now it's. It's a no, no. It's a no, no, don't eat people. Especially if they're still alive. Oh, there are some instances where people did. Are eating. They're really eating people who are still alive. And that's pretty horrifying.

Jack: Like the Green Arrow who ate his dad.

Cristina: His dad must have killed himself before he let his son eat him. He couldn't be like, yes, just eat me while I sit here on this boat. Take my arm and bite it.

Jack: How thug though, that would be amazing.

Cristina: But like, okay, he dies on the boat and he has to eat him, but he has to eat him cold like that. Like, no warming up the food.

Jack: That's nuts, right? How did he do it?

Cristina: Yeah, because with cannibalism there's a lot of diseases you can get from that. A lot of brain rottening stuff could happen. Is he okay?

Jack: I don't know, man. Maybe he has hella brain damage.

Cristina: Oh my God.

Jack: Maybe he has hella brain damage and so does Bruce Wayne. He's just a kid with PTSD harassing a bunch of people.

Cristina: Yeah, but it can't be worse. Than what?

Jack: The Arrow has literal brain degradation because of eating human flesh. Nevertheless, the trauma of it having like Bruce Wayne stores bit s*** next to f****** Arrow.

Cristina: Yes. That is some crazy stuff. Like what happened there. What happened? I don't know. Before people were burying people or burning the bodies or stuff. They think that people were eating the dead bodies so the wild animals couldn't get to the bodies. That's interesting solution to that problem, because if they just left the dead bodies there, the animal would come and eat that and then will eat them or whatever, if it was that type of situation.

Jack: That's interesting. There are tribes that use bones as cup. Like the top of a skull as cups and stuff. So I'm assuming we were like that in the past, where we would just eat the people and use their bones for resources.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You know, make knives and weapons to hunt other creatures with and crap like that.

Cristina: And there's some magic to it, too. Like where people believe they're getting something from eating this dead person, Whether it's someone that they love or an enemy from the. You know, from the enemy tribe or whatever. If they eat them, they get something. I don't know what it is. Like some type of thing, I guess, their power or whatever. Like, if they were super strong and I killed him, now I'm gonna eat him, now I'm gonna be super strong or something like that.

Jack: He is inside of me.

Cristina: Yeah. And when it comes to loved ones, I'm not really sure, but, yeah, they think they're getting a part of something from their loved ones.

Jack: Maybe it's like when Piccolo fused with Nails and Kami. It's like we are three but one.

Cristina: That's a lot of fusing. Yes. Maybe they're hoping to be like Piccolo. Did he become stronger, though?

Jack: Yeah, that was the whole point.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: The goal was, we're gonna merge our strength.

Cristina: But he didn't eat them, did he?

Jack: I mean, it depends what you think is happening.

Cristina: What does it look like it's happening?

Jack: I don't know. But how would they eat? Like, I'm assuming, like, put it in his mouth. Do you think that's eating? But he's like this whole other alien.

Cristina: Yeah. So. Well, what. How does that. Have you ever seen Piccolo eat?

Jack: If there's. If they are cells, he ate them.

Cristina: If they are cells, Cells merge. Oh, okay.

Jack: By just squeezing into one another. Piccolo did that.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Cannibal, I mean, but they were okay with that.

Jack: So it was volunteer work.

Cristina: Yeah. Are they alive?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Ooh, he crossed the line. He goes to jail forever.

Jack: But they agreed to it still.

Cristina: He goes to jail forever.

Jack: Why? The law is against that, too, Even if the other person agrees.

Cristina: Yeah. There's been cases where people agree, like, very strange cases. In Germany, there are a lot of cannibals. A lot. A lot of cannibals. Actually, there's a lot of cannibals everywhere in Germany. But in Germany, the most. One of the most Recent ones said that There were over 800 active cannibals in Germany.

Jack: Like today?

Cristina: Like today. Well, that was in 2006, but that's not that long ago. Armin Muse, he was a computer repair technician, and he killed and ate his. A voluntary victim who he met online, and he, I think, chopped off his p****. And they were gonna eat the p**** together, but he killed the guy anyway. And then he ate it. I think that's how I went.

Jack: Why didn't he eat the p**** with the guy?

Cristina: He got greedy. I don't know.

Jack: It's like, only I get to eat your p****. You don't get to eat your p****.

Cristina: It's not big enough for the both of us. I don't know.

Jack: That'd be funny.

Cristina: We don't know what the situation. But that guy, I don't know. I guess that's not the same because he ended up killing him, so. But if he stayed alive and they both ate his p****, would that be okay?

Jack: I don't know. Because at that point, you're volunteering for it.

Cristina: What a weird situation.

Jack: Like, you just ate your d***. Yeah, that's fine. I guess you're okay with it. He wasn't okay with dying. He was okay with eating his own d***.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, my gosh. And you think, oh, and man, there's so many weird situations because you think it's just cannibals just eating because you're starving. That's most of the world. It's just, we're starving. We need to eat. We're gonna eat dead people or people. Sometimes it's alive people.

Jack: Right. But then you come across a guy who's like, but, man, you want to try my d***?

Cristina: Yes. Yes. And there was a. In the uk, there was a British model called Anthony Marley who killed and partially ate his lover. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he was like. He wanted to break up with him, and he was so heartbroken, he murdered him. And then, I don't know. Then he. He removed a section of his leg and began cooking it. And then he stumbled into a neighbor and asked for the police to be called. So I'm not sure if he actually got to eating his lover, but he did kill him and cook a part of him.

Jack: Fantastic. Maybe between the time the cop got there, he ate some of it.

Cristina: Oh, maybe. And that was in 2008. That's not that long ago. Okay. Jeffrey Dahmer, after one of his victims ran away from him and got help he needed, the police went to his apartment and found two human hearts and an entire torso and the bag full of human lungs from all his victims, so. And probably other stuff, too, because. Yep.

Jack: Now, Jeffrey Dahmer is a cannibal. Yes, he was eating them for fast.

Cristina: Yes, he was eating them. Yeah. He. He stated that he planned to consume all the body parts over the next few weeks. So that's a lot of body parts to eat in a. In a few weeks. But I guess he could. I mean, freeze them all and.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Slowly eat them all.

Jack: Fridges were a thing.

Cristina: Yeah. That was in 1992.

Jack: Jeffrey Dahmer.

Cristina: You don't remember that guy?

Jack: I remember the name.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. Oh. And there's some weird law in England. I don't know if it's still like this, but in 1998, there was this guy named Rick Gibson who kept eating human parts in public just because there was no law against it.

Jack: How did he get the human parts?

Cristina: I have no idea, but I guess it was in a somehow legal way that they couldn't arrest him. So I don't know. But he did it, like, three times, and I think in, like, two of the situations. I'm not sure if all of them. It was testicles.

Jack: He was just eating testicles?

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: How did the people know those were human testicles?

Cristina: I don't know. I guess they tested out what he didn't eat and found that it was human testicles.

Jack: Wait, what?

Cristina: They tested the meat that he had, like, if he didn't eat at all. I don't know the story behind that, but it was human testicles. I mean, maybe he could have faked it, but that's a strange thing, that they didn't have rules. I don't know if they don't have rules now or they do. Maybe they do. And there was a reporter in 1931 for the New York Times that ate meat and human meat. He got a volunteer from a hospital to donate him. So maybe it's like that from donated hospital human meat. But he made a whole review about how it tastes and how.

Jack: With that. How did he, like, review it?

Cristina: How did he. He wrote about it. He cooked it and ate it, and then he wrote.

Jack: Yeah, but what he say?

Cristina: He said that it tasted like. The closest thing he could. The closest meat it tasted like was veal. He said it was good and it tastes sort of like veal.

Jack: Interesting. How'd he cook it?

Cristina: He roasted the piece of meat, and he wrote a whole article that you could probably read somewhere online if you want to hear the whole, like, comparison. To what it was. But he said it was tender and in the color, texture, smell as well as taste, it was like veal. So if you want to know what humans taste like, have some veal.

Jack: But he said the closest. He didn't say they're similar.

Cristina: Yeah, he didn't say that. It was like a professional would know that it's not veal, but a regular person would probably think it's veal.

Jack: You think it was that close to veal?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You don't just think it's so foreign that the closest comparison is veal, even if it's not like veal.

Cristina: I'll just read the a little bit of sentence. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitivity could distinguish it from veal. So it sounds like no one could really tell, except unless you're like the best wine taster, then you can taste that. This is expensive wine. So it could be a lie. It's probably a lie.

Jack: Yeah. Because wine people can't tell the difference.

Cristina: That's why I compared it to wine. Like, yeah, they say this, but, you.

Jack: Know, they can't f****** tell the difference.

Cristina: So he might just be. It might be all talk.

Jack: So interesting, Interesting.

Cristina: But I don't know, it might really taste like veal. There are people who suffer from mental illness where cannibalism isn't just cannibalism, but it's for sexual pleasure. Which examples are would be Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish.

Jack: Which was sexual?

Cristina: Yes, it was sexual. It wasn't just imma eat this person. Well, in some places in the world, cannibalism is still normal, like, allowed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But it has to be the dead. I think it's not. You could kill someone and then eat them type of thing. Unless it's through war, I think that's okay.

Jack: So you can eat the people you've killed at war?

Cristina: Yeah, because it's like a trophy dinner. Krawoa tribe of southeastern Papua is like one of the last surviving tribes that still engage in cannibalism. The last victim that they know was from 2012. They still eat people. A tribe in New Zealand called the Mori, they kill and eat people, though anyone that's not from there, I guess they will just kill and eat people.

Jack: From where?

Cristina: From New Zealand.

Jack: New Zealand?

Cristina: Yeah. Yes. A French explorer and 26 members of his crew were killed and eaten by them.

Jack: When Was that?

Cristina: In June 1772 in Melanesia. Some places still have Cannibalism. The New Guinea Islands, I think that's a pretty dangerous set of islands with cannibals. Pretty sure. Like the Fuji island, which is nicknamed the Cannibal Islands. That's part of that area where all of that's happening. They're just nicknamed cannibals.

Jack: So Australia was infested with a bunch of cannibalistic, crazed people who were offed by a bunch of elitist white people who took over the area.

Cristina: They could have the same story, though. Of the Spain, the Spanish.

Jack: How do we know there are no colored people in Australia? Like, there are colored people, but not like.

Cristina: No, I mean, like the Spanish people said they're cannibals, so now we can slave them.

Jack: Aren't we still claiming there's cannibals now?

Cristina: Yes, actually. But that gives them the excuse to kill them. Because you're saying they're killing them off.

Jack: No, I'm saying Australia was not a white place until a bunch of white people killed all the people over there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Which were indigenous cannibals.

Cristina: But are they using the excuse that they're cannibals to kill them?

Jack: To which I say all the surrounding islands are filled with cannibals.

Cristina: Those are probably the real cannibals. Then, like, they lied and said, these are the cannibals. Let's get rid of them and then avoid the actual cannibals.

Jack: So you think there was an Australia, the island surrounded by a bunch of cannibalistic islands, but Australia, the bigger landmass, was somehow not filled with cannibals.

Cristina: I'm just saying that they could have just used that excuse to take over the land.

Jack: But how, in that situation, how would Australia have been the one and only, if not the main cannibal, like, hub?

Cristina: Because those other islands, like, they totally ignore those cannibals. Like, if cannibalism was a real problem and they were only doing it to get rid of the cannibals, why? I don't think they were doing it.

Jack: To kill, to get rid of the cannibals. I don't think it was like, we're going out there to get rid of Can. This is like when we're gonna go in the future and give everybody democracy. No, no, no. We're gonna get rid of all the cannibals in the world. Like, that wasn't their goal. They were like, hey, here's an island we want. Hey. But we can't kill them. But they're all cannibals, so we Can.

Cristina: Yes, yes, maybe. But they're still surrounded by cannibals. They're still surrounded in Tibet. They eat flesh pills because they believe it gives them powers when they consume Brahmin flesh. And I think Brahmin is the priest of that area or teacher or whatever of the Buddhism.

Jack: Brahmin, that's like their.

Cristina: I think that's another word for teacher or priest or, you know.

Jack: Okay, that's cool.

Cristina: So they eat the flesh of them. They put in pills and eat that for powers. In Europe, though, once upon a time, in the 16th, 16th century, they were eating mummies, or at least that's what they thought they were eating because they thought it had. The mummies gave them powers, kind of like also keeping them young and whatever. They sold them as medicine, the mummies. It was Egyptian mummies that they thought they were buying to. As medicine to solve, I guess, random stuff.

Jack: Random stuff. Like what?

Cristina: Well, one of the things I don't know of all the reasons, but, like, it will stop bleeding.

Jack: Eating a mummy stops bleeding. They thought bleeding was like a disease.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know how they maybe, like, it'll make you bleed less or stop bleeding quicker or something. If you have a little bit mummy.

Jack: In you or you consume the mummy and you grow, you get the power to grow. Band aids.

Cristina: Yes. It was sold as powder. Mummy powder. They were eating mummy powder, or they thought I should be clear because it turned out that they were just eating slaves. People were killing their slaves and selling it as mummy powder, and then that fat died.

Jack: Okay, that sounds legit.

Cristina: Yeah. Once they found that out, they're like, oh, no, I rather be eating mummy than new newly killed person. It's so wrong. Both are so wrong. Yes. Yeah. So ridiculous. You would pay who knows how much for this mummy powder, but for this regular human powder. No, it's so. It's so awful in many ways. Besides humans that eat humans, there's plenty of animals that eat themselves, I guess, in a way. Like. Well, you know about the spider one, right?

Jack: What did the. The father eats the. Or the babies eat the mother. There you go.

Cristina: That's probably a thing. But that the mother will usually eat the father.

Jack: Okay. And then she explodes with her babies.

Cristina: Yes, yes. Those babies. Yeah. The reason she eats her mate is because they get. The babies are 20% larger and survive 50% longer than a baby that the parents didn't eat the mommy didn't eat the daddy. When there's a creepy one where there's the sand tiger sharks, they eat the other like if there's. The mommy's pregnant with more than one baby, it would eat the other baby.

Jack: How?

Cristina: I don't know. I guess they can still eat in the womb.

Jack: I don't understand how that would even, like, work. You're gonna eat something inside of you already.

Cristina: The mom's not eating the baby. The baby. One of them is eating the other.

Jack: Oh, I got you.

Cristina: Yes, that makes more sense. But that happens. And chimps and great apes eat each other for survival and stuff. Or for sometimes even for rebellion.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Kind of like the human reasons. Yeah, human reasons.

Jack: Yeah, it's all the same.

Cristina: Yeah. And your favorite hippopotamus, that will eat whatever the f***.

Jack: They're not even meat eaters.

Cristina: No. But they need to eat a lot. So if there's not enough to eat, they're gonna find something to eat.

Jack: Yeah, they'll eat whatever. It doesn't really matter. And they don't always need it for substance either. Like, it's not about sustenance.

Cristina: I'm pretty sure it is. They just need to eat a lot. You just can't imagine how much they.

Jack: They don't always eat all the things they kill. Sometimes they will just kill. There's nothing crazier and more random than a hippo. Like a hyena is not as random as a hippo. A hippo is just a fast tank that has no. It's a f****** dolphin on land.

Cristina: But dolphins have rules.

Jack: They're kind of crazy. A dolphin will murder m*********** just because it could.

Cristina: Yes, but they wouldn't do that to their kind unless there was a reason.

Jack: Well, a hippo would. Because they're crazier.

Cristina: The hippo is more dangerous than the dolphin.

Jack: Yeah. Not intellect wise, but just overall viciousness.

Cristina: Just viciousness? Yep.

Jack: Like a hippo can totally be your homie and be like, we're cool. And also be like, except today I kill you.

Cristina: Except today. Oh, yeah. You can't trust those hippos. Okay. There's also tiger salamanders who eat when there's just. It's overcrowded. Their home is overcrowded. They'll just eat the other ones. They'll grow teeth to eat their siblings.

Jack: Wait, they don't normally have teeth.

Cristina: I don't think so. Do lizards. I mean, it's not a lizard. But salamanders have teeth. Well, they have teeth, but their teeth grow three times bigger than normal.

Jack: Okay, that makes sense.

Cristina: And then they are the ones that will eat their siblings. And then there's also the rabbits who eat their Babies, sometimes the stillborn or.

Jack: The weak baby hamsters do the same thing.

Cristina: Yes. And hamsters. Hamsters do that too. If it's too crowded, if it's. There's a lot of things. There's a lot of reasons why a hamster and I guess a rabbit would eat their baby, but a lot of the same reasons. Just if it's too crowded, if it's hungry, if it's stressed, all that stuff. There's also the praying mantis that kills her. The female kills the male.

Jack: Like a spider.

Cristina: Yes. But they can sometimes kill the male while they're doing it, in the middle of doing it and then. But they can still get pregnant, I guess, through that situation. Like.

Jack: Interesting. I know that ducks are sort of like that.

Cristina: Ducks.

Jack: Yeah. Well, except they're not really trying to. I mean, I guess they don't eat each other. I guess male ducks rape female ducks.

Cristina: Oh, I think. I think I heard of that. Yeah.

Jack: And sometimes they kill them.

Cristina: The male ducks. Yeah.

Jack: While raping her.

Cristina: Oh, well, that sucks to be a duck.

Jack: Sometimes a female dies and they continue like ducks do. Necrophilia. She'll be dead and they'll keep f****** her.

Cristina: Oh, but he won't eat her. But what if they are? We don't know that yet. We don't have that proof. But what if he does eat her afterwards? Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Duck eating meat.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: How would that duck rip off the other duck's feathers and then eat its flesh? With a beak. That's it.

Cristina: His clawy leg, like his foot. Frogs also eat one another. Large frogs like to eat smaller ones. So that's.

Jack: I think the same thing applies to many different kinds of lizards, that they'll just eat smaller of their own kind.

Cristina: And fish do that. Pretty sure they eat.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Never know with Fish World. Like, sometimes you'll be friends with this tiny guy who's gonna clean your back. Sometimes you'll eat that guy who I guess isn't gonna clean your back.

Jack: It's pretty much that. They're not worth anything to me.

Cristina: Yeah. I guess that's how you decide in the fish world who's gonna do something for you. There's also a chicken, which is not a normal thing, but it happens probably in farms because the overcrowdedness, the disease, the poor food and the water conditions. Chicken on chicken, violence in farms.

Jack: But they eat each other.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is it like feeding a chicken a chicken nugget?

Cristina: Probably worse than that. Probably worse than that. But it's not a common thing. I just think it probably is forced onto them, being in a farm type of situation. And sometimes they just. When they fight each other, I guess they would eat a piece of them, like by accident when they tore flesh, you know, in chicken fights and stuff like that. Yeah, like, what are they gonna do with that stuck meat on their beak?

Jack: It's like the guy whose ear Mike Tyson ate, did he eat it?

Cristina: He didn't eat it.

Jack: He took it home and cooked it and he ate it.

Cristina: No. He would have gotten in trouble for that. Maybe. Maybe he paid the guy. He's like, let me eat your ear. Yeah. How much can I pay you?

Jack: And so did Van Gogh, right? He cut his ear off and cooked it and ate it.

Cristina: All these people are eating ears, d*** it, because it tastes like veal.

Jack: Van Gogh was like, I want to know what veal tastes like. And then he ate his ear.

Cristina: He wants to know what veal tastes like. So he ate his ear.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: It is veal. That's cheap, right?

Jack: It's like a baby lamb.

Cristina: Baby lamb? No, calves. So that's a baby. Baby goat?

Jack: No, veal is a baby cow.

Cristina: Baby cow.

Jack: Wait, we taste like baby cows.

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: So I was thinking like, lamb this whole time. But that has a different name, right? Mm, that's weird. So different and squishy.

Cristina: Yep. But now you know what a baby cow tastes like and a human tastes like.

Jack: Ooh, interesting.

Cristina: What do you think of that, though? Do you remember how it tastes like veal, like, compared to beef or bison? Also, earwigs eat their mothers. Kind of like the spider too, I guess. And sometimes the parent devours their child. I guess it depends on the situation. I don't know, man. Earwigs are really so nightmarish. You've seen them, right?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: Oh, there you go.

Jack: What the f*** is that?

Cristina: That's an earwig. It is horrifying. I don't know.

Jack: Looks like a roach.

Cristina: It looks like a roach that could attack you from the back. It's got knives. It got. It's got a b*** scissor.

Jack: It's got a b*** scissor.

Cristina: B*** scissor. It's like it's gonna. There's gonna be a video of it carrying a knife, like in all those other videos. With a rat or whatever.

Jack: With the rat or the crab or some s***.

Cristina: Yeah, we're gonna see an earwig just holding a knife with. But also, snakes eat pieces of other snakes and even themselves.

Jack: Yes, the ouroboros.

Cristina: But you knew they were eating themselves too.

Jack: Sometimes they won't literally devour themselves in a way that they're digesting themselves, but they'll, like, put their tail in their mouth and just keep coiling in.

Cristina: But that's not the same, is it?

Jack: I don't know. How long can they be like that before they, like, pull themselves apart, you know?

Cristina: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Jack: So they have to be in that position so long their tail is digested, which seems unlikely.

Cristina: Why do you think they do that?

Jack: I have no idea. It's weird, right?

Cristina: Yeah. Because scientists don't even know. They think it might have something to do with overheating. I don't know how.

Jack: That they're trying to cool themselves down.

Cristina: Yeah. Oh, that may. Yeah. I guess you could picture him putting a part of himself to get it cold, I guess. Yep. There's also a bunch of. There's also some myths, legends, and folklore about cannibalism, which you probably have heard of. Some. Like, the most famous one, I guess, or not really. Just one of the many. Hanzo and Gretel.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Which is just an old lady who decides to eat some children.

Jack: Probably based on something true.

Cristina: Yeah. That's a Brother's Grimm story. There's a lot of cannibalism there. They call them man eaters, which, you know. Yeah. There's a creature called Wendingo that sounds really familiar. It's like a spirit that possesses humans or a human that humans could physically turn into. Like, transform into either a spirit going into a human or a human that turns into this thing and I guess they eat people, which could just explain cannibalism. Like, it's not a human. It's a spirit in that human making them eat people or this person. Like. But that's weird. The other way around of this person turns into this being after eating people. I wonder if it looks like a werewolf.

Jack: That's interesting, because if I remember a Wendingo being, like, a dog of some sort.

Cristina: What if it is? Oh, my gosh. Give me an image.

Jack: Oh, that looks very werewolfish to me. Get the f*** out of here.

Cristina: What? What?

Jack: What do you t. Come on. That's a. Tell me that's not a werewolf right there.

Cristina: Yeah. Also looks like that creature from the forest, from the.

Jack: The ritual.

Cristina: The ritual. Yep.

Jack: Loki's child.

Cristina: Yep. But who knows? Like, they could have thought that was a werewolf.

Jack: You know, it's interesting. The windingo.

Cristina: Yep. Wendingo. Oh, my gosh. What? Wendigo is another. Wendingo is like a werewolf, though, in that they were probably created to explain cannibalism but it's weird that they look so similar. I mean, I guess when you picture a monster, it's gonna look like similar in that it's a monster. I don't know.

Jack: To my understanding is mainly like some sort of werewolf looking thing.

Cristina: Yes. And they think humans turn into them. So that's very werewolf like.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Of a human turning. Yeah. I don't know. And then they eat humans.

Jack: Sounds about right.

Cristina: Yeah. So I don't know. Werewolf is a person that's a cannibal essentially.

Jack: Yeah. Wendingo and a werewolf are. No, not different by any means.

Cristina: No.

Jack: Except maybe the details of their appearance and the location. And the location maybe. Interesting that you would say that.

Cristina: Why? What is that?

Jack: Because this is the same problem we have with the Chupacabra, the vampire and the werewolf. Maybe the Windingo is just another f****** location here in the east, I mean in the west we got werewolf. You go really, really, really far north east of the planet and you get to vampires. You go south west of the planet and you land at the Chupacabra. Who says north east? England, Greenland. Not Greenland, but England, Scotland, Ireland. Area doesn't have the win Dingo an equivalent to the werewolf.

Cristina: I don't know. It's possible. We gotta find out more about the Windingo.

Jack: The Windingo.

Cristina: The Windingo. I like the name. I just like how similar though it is. It's the werewolf of somewhere else. But if it's the werewolf from here though, what if we.

Jack: That'd be weird.

Cristina: How Windingles here. I know, but we'll find out. We'll find all that out. And in 1846-47, there was a family that was crossing from one side of America to the other side for I think the Gold Rush or whatever it was called back then. I think it was that. I'm not 100% sure. And they think there was cannibalism in that party because it was a harsh. I think it was also a harsh winter like the other story we were talking about of Jamestown. And they were going through a supposed shortcut, except the guy never really went through it to make it clear for them. So it was kind of a lie maybe. And they just ended up having a miserable trip and a lot of them died and some of them probably the legend goes that they ate some of them. But I don't know if there's any physical proof, proof at all. But it could be like the Jamestown thing where there's at least letter evidence that yeah, there's cannibalism, but no Bones or anything to show it.

Jack: That's interesting. The letters of Jamestown say what?

Cristina: One of the letters was from the. I guess the temporary leader after their. They had a leader originally, of course, and I think he ran away or something, or he quit after things got tough. Oh, yeah. Wait. The original leader of Jamestown had to leave because he was wounded in an explosion. So he went back to England, and so they got a temporary leader, and he was writing about what was going on in Jamestown during the time, and he was talking about how desperate people got and how they were started off eating their pets and stuff and then ended up just eating anything they could find, whether it was a snake or a mouse, all that stuff.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: And he even said that some of the people ate their boots, shoes, and that the people who left the fort were killed by the warriors of the tribe that they felt like they were betrayed by or that felt like Jamestown people betray them because they were trying to do stuff with another tribe. Yeah, yeah. So he wrote all about all that. So there's probably a bunch of letters that he's written that you.

Jack: Who was he sending those letters to?

Cristina: Maybe it was just a record of it, so that when the new leader came, he would know, like, this is what happened. Maybe it was his diary. Who knows? Well, the Donner family, they were writing diaries. I don't think they were writing letters to anyone. I think they were just writing about their situation because they had nothing else better to do there.

Jack: They have letters?

Cristina: Yeah, pretty sure they had letters. I'm not sure if they were mailing them out or what was going on. I mean, they couldn't mail it out, but afterwards, maybe they were planning to. I don't know.

Jack: Mailing them the. Who.

Cristina: Other family members. It wasn't just one family. It was a bunch of families. It was like 30 people. It was a lot of people. But I guess a bunch of. This was normal of a bunch of groups of people from one side of the country would travel together to the other side of the country. And this was just one of the large groups that were going. Because you wouldn't just travel alone to the other side by yourself or anything. Yep. And some of the families through the trip, like, abandoned the trip because it's. This is a crazy trip.

Jack: Yeah. So they just, like, spread out.

Cristina: Yeah. Yep. And a few of them did make it to the end.

Jack: The most determined always make it.

Cristina: And I mentioned that in England law, you. If you kill someone for food, it's considered a crime, no matter what the circumstances. And there was A case, r. V. Dubly and Stevens, in which two men were found guilty for killing and eating a cabin boy while they were adrift in sea on a lifeboat. Kind of the same story of Arrow, except that his dad and the other guy was like, no, we'll die and you can eat us. These guys were like, nah, we're gonna kill this boy and eat him.

Jack: Survival.

Cristina: Yep. Yeah. So they die. They died. No. So they got in trouble for that. So. Yes. Don't eat people unless they die. That's what you gotta do.

Jack: Only eat the dead.

Cristina: Only eat the dead, then it's okay. But don't steal the dead. That's probably also a crime.

Jack: Grave Robin is a crime. Grave Robin and f****** the dead. Necrophilia.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. That's also a crime. What if you're doing it for magic?

Jack: Everybody should definitely go out and eat themselves a human. But make sure you don't kill them. Go wait at a hospital.

Cristina: What?

Jack: It's Covid era. Covid's everywhere. People are dying left and right. You just wait until they die. If you've got Covid, particularly, you're not gonna catch more Covid. So you can just go wait at a hospital and eat a dead COVID patient. And if you don't have Covid, you have to wait for one of the patients that are getting neglected because they don't have Covid to die. And then you eat them. There's people to eat for everybody.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know if you can do that, though. I know that reporter did it, but that was a while ago.

Jack: It should be possible. You should be able to go to a hospital and eat patient after they die.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Especially if they're homeless. They got no nothing to lose. Nobody's gonna care. Although I don't know why families of dead people care about their body. It's weird that we don't do more productive things with the bodies.

Cristina: Like make them into tattoo. No. What was it? No, that was just. If they have tattoos that you'd take that tattoo.

Jack: Or you could save their eyes.

Cristina: Or you could take their eyes. Oh, is there anything else you can take that wouldn't be so weird?

Jack: No, you just give some. Don't embalm the bodies and just give the fre. Freaking body to the earth to, like, give nutrients.

Cristina: You gotta do. Yes.

Jack: Bury them where you plant a tree. Let them become a tree.

Cristina: Stop. Stop believing in that whole thing of. What was it? The embalming.

Jack: Embalming fluid.

Cristina: That's a lie. That's a lie. That's like the rich people thinking mummies were gonna save them.

Jack: Yeah. Embalming fluid is dumb. And how we celebrate the death of people. Like, why are we being sorrowful? Yes, it sucks. But, like, rather than throw this gloomy a** thing, have a f****** party.

Cristina: Have a party.

Jack: Have a party in honor of the life. That was like.

Cristina: Some places do they get that have a party.

Jack: And everybody at the party eats their body.

Cristina: I don't know about that.

Jack: Why that person's gonna be inside everybody and in that same party as you eat the meat because you chop the person up and cook them. You also, if they have tattoos, have already chopped up the tattoos according to what each image is and, like, framed them after you've preserved them or whatever.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And so you put it so that people can take whichever ones they want.

Cristina: And then with what, Bard? Because I doubt you could eat the whole body if for some reason there's body parts left. You can still borrow birds bury. You still bury that part.

Jack: Yeah. You could turn them into a tree. Turn whatever body parts are left into a tree.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This is that we're starting. The new way to celebrate death.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: For Thanksgiving.

Cristina: For Thanksgiving.

Jack: Eat your loved ones with your family for Thanksgiving.

Cristina: Yes. Happy Thanksgiving.

Jack: Happy Thanksgiving. If you guys like this episode where we tell you how to eat your family and how other people in the past have eaten their families and friends.

Cristina: Now you know we taste like veal.

Jack: Now you know we taste like veal. And there's a previous Thanksgiving episode from last year you guys can check out. So go indulge in that Thanksgiving where you find out what Thanksgiving really is. And then you celebrate this new way we're teaching you about eating your family. Since you'll learn that what you already thought was a lie.

Cristina: Yes. Yes. Go learn about those lizard people.

Jack: Yeah. And you can find that on the official website. And you can find that on the official website. Greythoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts or on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or anywhere else you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review it. Tell us in the review whether you plan to eat your family.

Cristina: And let someone who might like the show know about it.

Jack: Yes, let somebody who's interested in becoming a cannibal know about the show. Tell them about it. Tell them about Thanksgiving if they're gonna celebrate.

Cristina: Okay, this has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening Bye. I thought it was veal.

Jack: I thought it was veal as well.

Cristina: Mutton? I don't know. Is veal a baby lamb?

Jack: It's like, is veal baby beef or lamb? Veal is a meat of calves in contrast to the beef from older cattle. Veal can be produced from a calf of either sex and any bread. However, most veal comes from young males and dairy breeds. Blah, blah, blah. Generally, veal is more expensive than. Doesn't answer the f****** question.

Cristina: It sounds like it comes from cows.

Jack: It doesn't tell us what f****** baby lamb meat is. I thought that was veal.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister. With social media managed by Amber Black.

November 07, 2020

Rambling 108: Werewolf Folklore

November 07, 2020/ GreyThoughts.Info

Werewolf, THe Just Conversation Podcast, Horror, Scary, Vampire, Mytical

What are the real stories about werewolves and where do they come from? Werewolves and the Folklore surrounding their mystery is discussed.

Story:
The duo begins a new case about werewolves and they begin with the folklore and tales surrounding them. From origins to methods of disposing of them. But diving deep takes the duo down rabbits holes they never expected to go. The connections they discover reveal the truth of werewolves rests on a different mythological creature entirely. The question is, how many other creatures are just this one? All that and more on this episode of Just Conversation.

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!

Topics Discussed

Abilities of the 7th Son
Werewolf Features
Talking Dogs
Becoming a Werewolf
Curing Werewolf Syndrome
Werewolf War
Killing Werewolves
White Man’s Folklore
Vampire Werewolves
Scolding Werewolves
Adrenochrome
Shapeshifters
Chupacabra

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast