Rambling 110: Cannibal Thanksgiving
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Are there still cannibals in the world? Do they eat people on thanksgiving? A Thanksgiving Special discussing human meat and cannibal dishes throughout history.
Story:
On this very special episode, the clones discuss all the possible ways to have family and friends over for dinner and situations throughout history in which cannibalism was either needed for survival or desired. From Jamestown to Indigenous Australians and more. The truth about Cannibalism is as surprising as what the duo discover human meat tastes like. All that and more on this episode of Just Conversation.
+Episode Details
Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!
Topics Discussed
- Jamestown Settlement
- Christopher Columbus
- Cannibalism
- Jane Doe’s Body
- Batman vs Green Arrow
- Agreed Cannibalism
- Jeffrey Dahmer
- The Taste of Human
- Mummy Medicine
- Cannibal Animals
- Wendigo
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+Transcript
Jack: With Thanksgiving coming and it being the era of COVID many of us are losing family members and loved ones. So we're not gonna have them all at the table. But have you ever wondered if it's possible for you to still have your deceased family for dinner? I mean, literally, have you ever wondered if you can literally eat your deceased family for dinner? Well, on this episode, we're gonna find out if that's all. That and more, coming up on Just Conversation.
Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.
Jack: I'm Jack.
Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.
Jack: Yes, and this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on the topics we discuss. So be sure to go get somebody. You don't need to know who they are. You could just go outside and find someone. You know, it's easy, man.
Cristina: You make it sound like it's something bad, though, that they're about to do.
Jack: Yeah, it's totally easy. Yeah. You kidnap them, you tie them up, you put them in chains, you put them on a boat, you sail over to where the podcast is being showcased. You let them off the boat, you tell them you're going to watch this.
Cristina: Why is there a boat involved?
Jack: Why wouldn't there be a boat involved?
Cristina: You're going. Are you sailing to the place and then sailing back from the place that.
Jack: You know, now they just stay there. You're not taking. Why would you go get them, do a whole boat ride, and then be like, well, I was just your ride here. Now I'm taking. No. Now you own them.
Cristina: No. Yeah, but I mean, you're leaving your home on a boat to them and then bringing them back to your home on a boat.
Jack: No, you're not bringing them to your home. You're just getting them to take them to where the show is being aired.
Cristina: Oh. Which is not their home.
Jack: Which is not your home there.
Cristina: Yes. Oh, okay.
Jack: Yeah. Now you own a bunch of people.
Cristina: Yes. That sounds just. That sounds right. Right.
Jack: Sounds right. No. Fair enough. We've established in the past that Thanksgiving seemingly had nothing to do with the slaves or pilgrims or natives. Thanksgiving has nothing to do with anything. We thought it had anything to do with.
Cristina: It has to do with the lizard people.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: Remember?
Jack: But that's none of the other stuff that's none of the intuitive. It was pilgrims who brought slaves and enslaved natives and like made white people somehow.
Cristina: What?
Jack: Because here's the idea, right?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So they come from Europe, the conquistadores. Presumably one of the non British parts of Europe, because that was just the original settlers that came avoiding England. But we have like the. The Spaniards and those douchebags traveling the coast. They're not the coasty islands. Kidnapping people and dropping them off on different islands. Sprinkling black people on the islands here. Some for you and some for you. And then the black people mixing with the natives that were there at the same time that the. That the span Spaniards and the Portuguese and the Italians were f****** all of them. So there's like.
Cristina: Can I say something about the Spaniards, though?
Jack: What?
Cristina: That their queen was like, you can't enslave anyone unless they're cannibals. And then they're like, they're cannibals. And then.
Jack: No f****** way. Really?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Yeah, they said they're all cannibals.
Cristina: Of course. Like. Yep, these people are cannibals. We're witnessing cannibalism everywhere we go. I guess we gotta enslave them.
Jack: So the queen. Hey, Bob. Yeah, Jeff? We can't put these people in cages. Why not? Because the queen said only if they're cannibals. Well, well, look, dude, don't you see them eating each other? Nah, dude. No, no, no, you're not understanding. Don't you see them eating each other? Ah, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, I see them meeting each other. You see, we have to enslave them. They're savages, all of them.
Cristina: Yep, that was Christopher Columbus there.
Jack: That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's all f***** because then we have the people who came from England and established that first settlement, Jamestown, and then they all ate each other. So, like, the f****** conquistadors were the cannibals, Technically speaking.
Cristina: But they're not the people from Jamestown, though. The British. The British people aren't the conquistadors.
Jack: Yeah, no, I'm saying that the original settlers aren't conquistadores. Well, actually, the conquistadores never really came to the United States.
Cristina: They just saw it. That's it. Or like, what? Where did they end up? Just on islands or something?
Jack: Christopher Columbus didn't ever land in what is now known in the United States as America. He landed in America. Not in the United States. South America.
Cristina: In South America, Yeah. Okay, that makes sense, because Spanish. Yes, yes.
Jack: The British landed in central, in the center of North America, and they spread out north, which is why we have such a US Canada thing going on.
Cristina: That's UK based. Yeah, well, Canada is French, so is that.
Jack: There was some touchy feely stuff going on there too. Yeah, there's a little bit of a joint stuff going, but that was more war related, I think.
Cristina: Oh, what?
Jack: Yeah, I have no idea. I'm terrible at history. All of this is probably wrong.
Cristina: No, it's all facts.
Jack: See, here's the thing. Intuitively, all of this makes sense. Yes, The United States and Canada were definitely visited by the original settlers, which created New England, which is that Boston main eastern area and s***. Jamestown being the first settlement of people who turned out to be cannibals. So the white people are the cannibals, of which the Hispanic white people were like, we're gonna trap the cannibals. Which weren't the black people or the natives, but they arrested all of them anyways because the white people who were eating each other did have guns. And it's like, we're not gonna. With those people. We're gonna go with the people who don't have guns. The British.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: Of course, they never even met the British. They just sailed through all the islands and landed in Mexico and then went south from there.
Cristina: And the thing with Jamestown, they finally found evidence, like physical evidence. Besides, I think they had like written letters from the time of what happened.
Jack: What, of the first of the cannibalism? Yeah, that winter. What was it? The. The winter of the fight of 1702 or some s*** like that.
Cristina: From 1609 to 1610. What year did you say?
Jack: I thought it was like 17. I was a whole hundred years off. I was a whole hundred years too early.
Cristina: Yeah, I mean, too late late. Yeah, Yeah.
Jack: I was 200. I was 100 years too late.
Cristina: Close enough, but yeah, doing. Yes, the winter was really bad because there's the Indians. They were trying to do business with different Indians and one of the Indians were like, nah, you can't do that, and started killing them off every time they saw them.
Jack: But to my understanding, there were two settlements already established and they had a trade route established with one of those other white settlements.
Cristina: But the Indians were picking them off.
Jack: So they couldn't trade with the other white settlement.
Cristina: Nah.
Jack: So their foods, because they didn't have the food supply, they had the materials.
Cristina: Food supply coming on a ship. And that ship ended up crashing on another island and they had to fix that ship to come Back, and that took a long time.
Jack: And out of about 500 people, there were 50 left, right? Something like a crazy number like that.
Cristina: Yeah. They lost like 80 to 90% of their people. 500 people lived there before all of them died. Well, not all, but a lot of them died and then ended up with freaking 60 people.
Jack: Yep. So the white people were the. The cannibals all along?
Cristina: Yeah, but they didn't, like, just become cannibals overnight.
Jack: I'm sure it was like an episode of south park, the one where they were trapped in that snowstorm. And it was only like 20 minutes before they decided who they had to eat because they couldn't go out.
Cristina: No, they. Well, in the letters they were. They mentioned that they went. They ate their horses first, then they ate dogs and cats. Then they got weird and started trying to eat leather and things like that. Rats, anything, even roots. But those people died. The ones that went into the woods to try to look for stuff died because of the Indians.
Jack: So the Indians were holding them pretty much captive in their own town.
Cristina: Yep. So they had to get desperate. Someone did try to. I think he killed his pregnant wife to eat her, and they killed him.
Jack: But then they ended up eating them anyways.
Cristina: Well, there's a big no no in cannibalism. You could eat a person as long as they're already dead. You eat the person before they're dead, you're going to jail for life.
Jack: And where does this rule apply in.
Cristina: These kind of situations? And like, if you're starving, if you, like, crash, you're in a plane crash, and there's a few survivals, you can't just pick the weak person to eat. You have to wait for that weak person to die, and then you can eat him, and then you won't get in trou.
Jack: Oh, that's easy. Starve the weak person out, use the supplies for everybody else.
Cristina: As long as everyone, I guess, keeps with the story. And there's no proof that you guys didn't starve him out.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: If you, like, if they find that he was starved out and that's why he died, then it looks like murder.
Jack: Well, it's not murder, but to the.
Cristina: Law, it is murder.
Jack: Does it say specifically you can't starve the person out?
Cristina: I'm pretty sure because it will still be murder. Yeah.
Jack: No, it's not.
Cristina: Murder is not murder.
Jack: You're not choosing to starve them. You're choosing to feed you. And they don't have the capacity to feed themselves over you.
Cristina: I don't know, I don't.
Jack: I could plead this easily in court.
Cristina: Wrong.
Jack: I could plead this easily in court. Yeah. Look, there was this much food, and it belonged to whoever can acquire the food, which was me. So he wasn't good enough to beat me for it. I'd have no obligation to share. It's my food.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: I'm American. How many people in the United States starve regularly? Because we don't. So don't bring me this s***. I was doing the capitalistic s*** I'm used to, and I was surviving.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And then he died. But I just happened to run out of food around the time he died, so I f****** ate him. Sue me for being a capitalist, then. Go ahead and sue all the capitalists.
Cristina: You should wait a little before you eat him, just to be like, I was, like, in the brink of death before I decided to eat him. I mean, you probably were. Because the food you were eating was probably not enough to fill you up anyway. So maybe you can get away with that. I don't know.
Jack: The advantage is that, man, how the f*** did they eat so many people? Because the problem is that it's cold as f*** outside. I mean, they didn't eat a lot.
Cristina: Well, we don't know if they ate a lot of people. We just know they got so desperate that in the end, eventually some of them got Ian.
Jack: Well, here's the thing. There is snow outside. It's cold as s*** outside. Was a winter. You could preserve the body. Yeah, leave the body outside in the cold. The cold will preserve the body.
Cristina: But they didn't. Like, this is the first time they found a skull from a dead body that's been eaten. So that's why I don't think it's been a bunch of people, because where are all those bodies that were eaten?
Jack: They used the bones to make other.
Cristina: Things, and those things were never found.
Jack: Those things are just clothing.
Cristina: They sold it to the Indians.
Jack: Yeah, man. They use it as weapons to escape Jamestown once the winter was over.
Cristina: Ah. And then no one would know.
Jack: Nobody would know. They were walking in bone armor.
Cristina: Yeah. What? That's kind of badass bone armor. No one would have messed with them.
Jack: Nobody's gonna mess with them. The Indians are like, we thought we were hardcore. These guys came wearing their homies.
Cristina: That's so awful. But who knows what happened? Like, maybe.
Jack: So what happened when they found this skull?
Cristina: They looked to see how this person died. Who was this person? What they found was. It was a girl, and they named her Jane.
Jack: For Jane Doe.
Cristina: Yes. Of Course for Jane Doe, they think she was 14. They found only a part of her skull and chin bone on her skull. There was multiple chops and cut marks. They know she was dead before they decided to cut her up for food. But after that crazy storm, that crazy winter happened, the new person came with their ship and the supplies and everyone was saved. And then he had everyone clean up the mess that was there of the bodies and stuff. And that's probably how they found her skull in a garbage can or whatever. Like a.
Jack: There's. That's probably why they don't find all the other bones.
Cristina: Because he cleaned them up because of the cleanup. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. They could be just buried.
Jack: The bones they did find are the ones that they missed in the cleanup.
Cristina: Mmm. Maybe there's proof that we were cannibals once upon a time. Or at least the H*** sapiens.
Jack: I'm sure we were very cannibalistic a lot of the time.
Cristina: A lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. But now it's. It's a no, no. It's a no, no, don't eat people. Especially if they're still alive. Oh, there are some instances where people did. Are eating. They're really eating people who are still alive. And that's pretty horrifying.
Jack: Like the Green Arrow who ate his dad.
Cristina: His dad must have killed himself before he let his son eat him. He couldn't be like, yes, just eat me while I sit here on this boat. Take my arm and bite it.
Jack: How thug though, that would be amazing.
Cristina: But like, okay, he dies on the boat and he has to eat him, but he has to eat him cold like that. Like, no warming up the food.
Jack: That's nuts, right? How did he do it?
Cristina: Yeah, because with cannibalism there's a lot of diseases you can get from that. A lot of brain rottening stuff could happen. Is he okay?
Jack: I don't know, man. Maybe he has hella brain damage.
Cristina: Oh my God.
Jack: Maybe he has hella brain damage and so does Bruce Wayne. He's just a kid with PTSD harassing a bunch of people.
Cristina: Yeah, but it can't be worse. Than what?
Jack: The Arrow has literal brain degradation because of eating human flesh. Nevertheless, the trauma of it having like Bruce Wayne stores bit s*** next to f****** Arrow.
Cristina: Yes. That is some crazy stuff. Like what happened there. What happened? I don't know. Before people were burying people or burning the bodies or stuff. They think that people were eating the dead bodies so the wild animals couldn't get to the bodies. That's interesting solution to that problem, because if they just left the dead bodies there, the animal would come and eat that and then will eat them or whatever, if it was that type of situation.
Jack: That's interesting. There are tribes that use bones as cup. Like the top of a skull as cups and stuff. So I'm assuming we were like that in the past, where we would just eat the people and use their bones for resources.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: You know, make knives and weapons to hunt other creatures with and crap like that.
Cristina: And there's some magic to it, too. Like where people believe they're getting something from eating this dead person, Whether it's someone that they love or an enemy from the. You know, from the enemy tribe or whatever. If they eat them, they get something. I don't know what it is. Like some type of thing, I guess, their power or whatever. Like, if they were super strong and I killed him, now I'm gonna eat him, now I'm gonna be super strong or something like that.
Jack: He is inside of me.
Cristina: Yeah. And when it comes to loved ones, I'm not really sure, but, yeah, they think they're getting a part of something from their loved ones.
Jack: Maybe it's like when Piccolo fused with Nails and Kami. It's like we are three but one.
Cristina: That's a lot of fusing. Yes. Maybe they're hoping to be like Piccolo. Did he become stronger, though?
Jack: Yeah, that was the whole point.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: The goal was, we're gonna merge our strength.
Cristina: But he didn't eat them, did he?
Jack: I mean, it depends what you think is happening.
Cristina: What does it look like it's happening?
Jack: I don't know. But how would they eat? Like, I'm assuming, like, put it in his mouth. Do you think that's eating? But he's like this whole other alien.
Cristina: Yeah. So. Well, what. How does that. Have you ever seen Piccolo eat?
Jack: If there's. If they are cells, he ate them.
Cristina: If they are cells, Cells merge. Oh, okay.
Jack: By just squeezing into one another. Piccolo did that.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Cannibal, I mean, but they were okay with that.
Jack: So it was volunteer work.
Cristina: Yeah. Are they alive?
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Ooh, he crossed the line. He goes to jail forever.
Jack: But they agreed to it still.
Cristina: He goes to jail forever.
Jack: Why? The law is against that, too, Even if the other person agrees.
Cristina: Yeah. There's been cases where people agree, like, very strange cases. In Germany, there are a lot of cannibals. A lot. A lot of cannibals. Actually, there's a lot of cannibals everywhere in Germany. But in Germany, the most. One of the most Recent ones said that There were over 800 active cannibals in Germany.
Jack: Like today?
Cristina: Like today. Well, that was in 2006, but that's not that long ago. Armin Muse, he was a computer repair technician, and he killed and ate his. A voluntary victim who he met online, and he, I think, chopped off his p****. And they were gonna eat the p**** together, but he killed the guy anyway. And then he ate it. I think that's how I went.
Jack: Why didn't he eat the p**** with the guy?
Cristina: He got greedy. I don't know.
Jack: It's like, only I get to eat your p****. You don't get to eat your p****.
Cristina: It's not big enough for the both of us. I don't know.
Jack: That'd be funny.
Cristina: We don't know what the situation. But that guy, I don't know. I guess that's not the same because he ended up killing him, so. But if he stayed alive and they both ate his p****, would that be okay?
Jack: I don't know. Because at that point, you're volunteering for it.
Cristina: What a weird situation.
Jack: Like, you just ate your d***. Yeah, that's fine. I guess you're okay with it. He wasn't okay with dying. He was okay with eating his own d***.
Cristina: Yes. Oh, my gosh. And you think, oh, and man, there's so many weird situations because you think it's just cannibals just eating because you're starving. That's most of the world. It's just, we're starving. We need to eat. We're gonna eat dead people or people. Sometimes it's alive people.
Jack: Right. But then you come across a guy who's like, but, man, you want to try my d***?
Cristina: Yes. Yes. And there was a. In the uk, there was a British model called Anthony Marley who killed and partially ate his lover. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he was like. He wanted to break up with him, and he was so heartbroken, he murdered him. And then, I don't know. Then he. He removed a section of his leg and began cooking it. And then he stumbled into a neighbor and asked for the police to be called. So I'm not sure if he actually got to eating his lover, but he did kill him and cook a part of him.
Jack: Fantastic. Maybe between the time the cop got there, he ate some of it.
Cristina: Oh, maybe. And that was in 2008. That's not that long ago. Okay. Jeffrey Dahmer, after one of his victims ran away from him and got help he needed, the police went to his apartment and found two human hearts and an entire torso and the bag full of human lungs from all his victims, so. And probably other stuff, too, because. Yep.
Jack: Now, Jeffrey Dahmer is a cannibal. Yes, he was eating them for fast.
Cristina: Yes, he was eating them. Yeah. He. He stated that he planned to consume all the body parts over the next few weeks. So that's a lot of body parts to eat in a. In a few weeks. But I guess he could. I mean, freeze them all and.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Slowly eat them all.
Jack: Fridges were a thing.
Cristina: Yeah. That was in 1992.
Jack: Jeffrey Dahmer.
Cristina: You don't remember that guy?
Jack: I remember the name.
Cristina: Oh, yeah. Oh. And there's some weird law in England. I don't know if it's still like this, but in 1998, there was this guy named Rick Gibson who kept eating human parts in public just because there was no law against it.
Jack: How did he get the human parts?
Cristina: I have no idea, but I guess it was in a somehow legal way that they couldn't arrest him. So I don't know. But he did it, like, three times, and I think in, like, two of the situations. I'm not sure if all of them. It was testicles.
Jack: He was just eating testicles?
Cristina: Yep.
Jack: How did the people know those were human testicles?
Cristina: I don't know. I guess they tested out what he didn't eat and found that it was human testicles.
Jack: Wait, what?
Cristina: They tested the meat that he had, like, if he didn't eat at all. I don't know the story behind that, but it was human testicles. I mean, maybe he could have faked it, but that's a strange thing, that they didn't have rules. I don't know if they don't have rules now or they do. Maybe they do. And there was a reporter in 1931 for the New York Times that ate meat and human meat. He got a volunteer from a hospital to donate him. So maybe it's like that from donated hospital human meat. But he made a whole review about how it tastes and how.
Jack: With that. How did he, like, review it?
Cristina: How did he. He wrote about it. He cooked it and ate it, and then he wrote.
Jack: Yeah, but what he say?
Cristina: He said that it tasted like. The closest thing he could. The closest meat it tasted like was veal. He said it was good and it tastes sort of like veal.
Jack: Interesting. How'd he cook it?
Cristina: He roasted the piece of meat, and he wrote a whole article that you could probably read somewhere online if you want to hear the whole, like, comparison. To what it was. But he said it was tender and in the color, texture, smell as well as taste, it was like veal. So if you want to know what humans taste like, have some veal.
Jack: But he said the closest. He didn't say they're similar.
Cristina: Yeah, he didn't say that. It was like a professional would know that it's not veal, but a regular person would probably think it's veal.
Jack: You think it was that close to veal?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: You don't just think it's so foreign that the closest comparison is veal, even if it's not like veal.
Cristina: I'll just read the a little bit of sentence. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitivity could distinguish it from veal. So it sounds like no one could really tell, except unless you're like the best wine taster, then you can taste that. This is expensive wine. So it could be a lie. It's probably a lie.
Jack: Yeah. Because wine people can't tell the difference.
Cristina: That's why I compared it to wine. Like, yeah, they say this, but, you.
Jack: Know, they can't f****** tell the difference.
Cristina: So he might just be. It might be all talk.
Jack: So interesting, Interesting.
Cristina: But I don't know, it might really taste like veal. There are people who suffer from mental illness where cannibalism isn't just cannibalism, but it's for sexual pleasure. Which examples are would be Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish.
Jack: Which was sexual?
Cristina: Yes, it was sexual. It wasn't just imma eat this person. Well, in some places in the world, cannibalism is still normal, like, allowed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But it has to be the dead. I think it's not. You could kill someone and then eat them type of thing. Unless it's through war, I think that's okay.
Jack: So you can eat the people you've killed at war?
Cristina: Yeah, because it's like a trophy dinner. Krawoa tribe of southeastern Papua is like one of the last surviving tribes that still engage in cannibalism. The last victim that they know was from 2012. They still eat people. A tribe in New Zealand called the Mori, they kill and eat people, though anyone that's not from there, I guess they will just kill and eat people.
Jack: From where?
Cristina: From New Zealand.
Jack: New Zealand?
Cristina: Yeah. Yes. A French explorer and 26 members of his crew were killed and eaten by them.
Jack: When Was that?
Cristina: In June 1772 in Melanesia. Some places still have Cannibalism. The New Guinea Islands, I think that's a pretty dangerous set of islands with cannibals. Pretty sure. Like the Fuji island, which is nicknamed the Cannibal Islands. That's part of that area where all of that's happening. They're just nicknamed cannibals.
Jack: So Australia was infested with a bunch of cannibalistic, crazed people who were offed by a bunch of elitist white people who took over the area.
Cristina: They could have the same story, though. Of the Spain, the Spanish.
Jack: How do we know there are no colored people in Australia? Like, there are colored people, but not like.
Cristina: No, I mean, like the Spanish people said they're cannibals, so now we can slave them.
Jack: Aren't we still claiming there's cannibals now?
Cristina: Yes, actually. But that gives them the excuse to kill them. Because you're saying they're killing them off.
Jack: No, I'm saying Australia was not a white place until a bunch of white people killed all the people over there.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: Which were indigenous cannibals.
Cristina: But are they using the excuse that they're cannibals to kill them?
Jack: To which I say all the surrounding islands are filled with cannibals.
Cristina: Those are probably the real cannibals. Then, like, they lied and said, these are the cannibals. Let's get rid of them and then avoid the actual cannibals.
Jack: So you think there was an Australia, the island surrounded by a bunch of cannibalistic islands, but Australia, the bigger landmass, was somehow not filled with cannibals.
Cristina: I'm just saying that they could have just used that excuse to take over the land.
Jack: But how, in that situation, how would Australia have been the one and only, if not the main cannibal, like, hub?
Cristina: Because those other islands, like, they totally ignore those cannibals. Like, if cannibalism was a real problem and they were only doing it to get rid of the cannibals, why? I don't think they were doing it.
Jack: To kill, to get rid of the cannibals. I don't think it was like, we're going out there to get rid of Can. This is like when we're gonna go in the future and give everybody democracy. No, no, no. We're gonna get rid of all the cannibals in the world. Like, that wasn't their goal. They were like, hey, here's an island we want. Hey. But we can't kill them. But they're all cannibals, so we Can.
Cristina: Yes, yes, maybe. But they're still surrounded by cannibals. They're still surrounded in Tibet. They eat flesh pills because they believe it gives them powers when they consume Brahmin flesh. And I think Brahmin is the priest of that area or teacher or whatever of the Buddhism.
Jack: Brahmin, that's like their.
Cristina: I think that's another word for teacher or priest or, you know.
Jack: Okay, that's cool.
Cristina: So they eat the flesh of them. They put in pills and eat that for powers. In Europe, though, once upon a time, in the 16th, 16th century, they were eating mummies, or at least that's what they thought they were eating because they thought it had. The mummies gave them powers, kind of like also keeping them young and whatever. They sold them as medicine, the mummies. It was Egyptian mummies that they thought they were buying to. As medicine to solve, I guess, random stuff.
Jack: Random stuff. Like what?
Cristina: Well, one of the things I don't know of all the reasons, but, like, it will stop bleeding.
Jack: Eating a mummy stops bleeding. They thought bleeding was like a disease.
Cristina: Yes. I don't know how they maybe, like, it'll make you bleed less or stop bleeding quicker or something. If you have a little bit mummy.
Jack: In you or you consume the mummy and you grow, you get the power to grow. Band aids.
Cristina: Yes. It was sold as powder. Mummy powder. They were eating mummy powder, or they thought I should be clear because it turned out that they were just eating slaves. People were killing their slaves and selling it as mummy powder, and then that fat died.
Jack: Okay, that sounds legit.
Cristina: Yeah. Once they found that out, they're like, oh, no, I rather be eating mummy than new newly killed person. It's so wrong. Both are so wrong. Yes. Yeah. So ridiculous. You would pay who knows how much for this mummy powder, but for this regular human powder. No, it's so. It's so awful in many ways. Besides humans that eat humans, there's plenty of animals that eat themselves, I guess, in a way. Like. Well, you know about the spider one, right?
Jack: What did the. The father eats the. Or the babies eat the mother. There you go.
Cristina: That's probably a thing. But that the mother will usually eat the father.
Jack: Okay. And then she explodes with her babies.
Cristina: Yes, yes. Those babies. Yeah. The reason she eats her mate is because they get. The babies are 20% larger and survive 50% longer than a baby that the parents didn't eat the mommy didn't eat the daddy. When there's a creepy one where there's the sand tiger sharks, they eat the other like if there's. The mommy's pregnant with more than one baby, it would eat the other baby.
Jack: How?
Cristina: I don't know. I guess they can still eat in the womb.
Jack: I don't understand how that would even, like, work. You're gonna eat something inside of you already.
Cristina: The mom's not eating the baby. The baby. One of them is eating the other.
Jack: Oh, I got you.
Cristina: Yes, that makes more sense. But that happens. And chimps and great apes eat each other for survival and stuff. Or for sometimes even for rebellion.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Kind of like the human reasons. Yeah, human reasons.
Jack: Yeah, it's all the same.
Cristina: Yeah. And your favorite hippopotamus, that will eat whatever the f***.
Jack: They're not even meat eaters.
Cristina: No. But they need to eat a lot. So if there's not enough to eat, they're gonna find something to eat.
Jack: Yeah, they'll eat whatever. It doesn't really matter. And they don't always need it for substance either. Like, it's not about sustenance.
Cristina: I'm pretty sure it is. They just need to eat a lot. You just can't imagine how much they.
Jack: They don't always eat all the things they kill. Sometimes they will just kill. There's nothing crazier and more random than a hippo. Like a hyena is not as random as a hippo. A hippo is just a fast tank that has no. It's a f****** dolphin on land.
Cristina: But dolphins have rules.
Jack: They're kind of crazy. A dolphin will murder m*********** just because it could.
Cristina: Yes, but they wouldn't do that to their kind unless there was a reason.
Jack: Well, a hippo would. Because they're crazier.
Cristina: The hippo is more dangerous than the dolphin.
Jack: Yeah. Not intellect wise, but just overall viciousness.
Cristina: Just viciousness? Yep.
Jack: Like a hippo can totally be your homie and be like, we're cool. And also be like, except today I kill you.
Cristina: Except today. Oh, yeah. You can't trust those hippos. Okay. There's also tiger salamanders who eat when there's just. It's overcrowded. Their home is overcrowded. They'll just eat the other ones. They'll grow teeth to eat their siblings.
Jack: Wait, they don't normally have teeth.
Cristina: I don't think so. Do lizards. I mean, it's not a lizard. But salamanders have teeth. Well, they have teeth, but their teeth grow three times bigger than normal.
Jack: Okay, that makes sense.
Cristina: And then they are the ones that will eat their siblings. And then there's also the rabbits who eat their Babies, sometimes the stillborn or.
Jack: The weak baby hamsters do the same thing.
Cristina: Yes. And hamsters. Hamsters do that too. If it's too crowded, if it's. There's a lot of things. There's a lot of reasons why a hamster and I guess a rabbit would eat their baby, but a lot of the same reasons. Just if it's too crowded, if it's hungry, if it's stressed, all that stuff. There's also the praying mantis that kills her. The female kills the male.
Jack: Like a spider.
Cristina: Yes. But they can sometimes kill the male while they're doing it, in the middle of doing it and then. But they can still get pregnant, I guess, through that situation. Like.
Jack: Interesting. I know that ducks are sort of like that.
Cristina: Ducks.
Jack: Yeah. Well, except they're not really trying to. I mean, I guess they don't eat each other. I guess male ducks rape female ducks.
Cristina: Oh, I think. I think I heard of that. Yeah.
Jack: And sometimes they kill them.
Cristina: The male ducks. Yeah.
Jack: While raping her.
Cristina: Oh, well, that sucks to be a duck.
Jack: Sometimes a female dies and they continue like ducks do. Necrophilia. She'll be dead and they'll keep f****** her.
Cristina: Oh, but he won't eat her. But what if they are? We don't know that yet. We don't have that proof. But what if he does eat her afterwards? Oh, my gosh.
Jack: Duck eating meat.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: How would that duck rip off the other duck's feathers and then eat its flesh? With a beak. That's it.
Cristina: His clawy leg, like his foot. Frogs also eat one another. Large frogs like to eat smaller ones. So that's.
Jack: I think the same thing applies to many different kinds of lizards, that they'll just eat smaller of their own kind.
Cristina: And fish do that. Pretty sure they eat.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Never know with Fish World. Like, sometimes you'll be friends with this tiny guy who's gonna clean your back. Sometimes you'll eat that guy who I guess isn't gonna clean your back.
Jack: It's pretty much that. They're not worth anything to me.
Cristina: Yeah. I guess that's how you decide in the fish world who's gonna do something for you. There's also a chicken, which is not a normal thing, but it happens probably in farms because the overcrowdedness, the disease, the poor food and the water conditions. Chicken on chicken, violence in farms.
Jack: But they eat each other.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Is it like feeding a chicken a chicken nugget?
Cristina: Probably worse than that. Probably worse than that. But it's not a common thing. I just think it probably is forced onto them, being in a farm type of situation. And sometimes they just. When they fight each other, I guess they would eat a piece of them, like by accident when they tore flesh, you know, in chicken fights and stuff like that. Yeah, like, what are they gonna do with that stuck meat on their beak?
Jack: It's like the guy whose ear Mike Tyson ate, did he eat it?
Cristina: He didn't eat it.
Jack: He took it home and cooked it and he ate it.
Cristina: No. He would have gotten in trouble for that. Maybe. Maybe he paid the guy. He's like, let me eat your ear. Yeah. How much can I pay you?
Jack: And so did Van Gogh, right? He cut his ear off and cooked it and ate it.
Cristina: All these people are eating ears, d*** it, because it tastes like veal.
Jack: Van Gogh was like, I want to know what veal tastes like. And then he ate his ear.
Cristina: He wants to know what veal tastes like. So he ate his ear.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: It is veal. That's cheap, right?
Jack: It's like a baby lamb.
Cristina: Baby lamb? No, calves. So that's a baby. Baby goat?
Jack: No, veal is a baby cow.
Cristina: Baby cow.
Jack: Wait, we taste like baby cows.
Cristina: I guess.
Jack: So I was thinking like, lamb this whole time. But that has a different name, right? Mm, that's weird. So different and squishy.
Cristina: Yep. But now you know what a baby cow tastes like and a human tastes like.
Jack: Ooh, interesting.
Cristina: What do you think of that, though? Do you remember how it tastes like veal, like, compared to beef or bison? Also, earwigs eat their mothers. Kind of like the spider too, I guess. And sometimes the parent devours their child. I guess it depends on the situation. I don't know, man. Earwigs are really so nightmarish. You've seen them, right?
Jack: I have no idea.
Cristina: Oh, there you go.
Jack: What the f*** is that?
Cristina: That's an earwig. It is horrifying. I don't know.
Jack: Looks like a roach.
Cristina: It looks like a roach that could attack you from the back. It's got knives. It got. It's got a b*** scissor.
Jack: It's got a b*** scissor.
Cristina: B*** scissor. It's like it's gonna. There's gonna be a video of it carrying a knife, like in all those other videos. With a rat or whatever.
Jack: With the rat or the crab or some s***.
Cristina: Yeah, we're gonna see an earwig just holding a knife with. But also, snakes eat pieces of other snakes and even themselves.
Jack: Yes, the ouroboros.
Cristina: But you knew they were eating themselves too.
Jack: Sometimes they won't literally devour themselves in a way that they're digesting themselves, but they'll, like, put their tail in their mouth and just keep coiling in.
Cristina: But that's not the same, is it?
Jack: I don't know. How long can they be like that before they, like, pull themselves apart, you know?
Cristina: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jack: So they have to be in that position so long their tail is digested, which seems unlikely.
Cristina: Why do you think they do that?
Jack: I have no idea. It's weird, right?
Cristina: Yeah. Because scientists don't even know. They think it might have something to do with overheating. I don't know how.
Jack: That they're trying to cool themselves down.
Cristina: Yeah. Oh, that may. Yeah. I guess you could picture him putting a part of himself to get it cold, I guess. Yep. There's also a bunch of. There's also some myths, legends, and folklore about cannibalism, which you probably have heard of. Some. Like, the most famous one, I guess, or not really. Just one of the many. Hanzo and Gretel.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Which is just an old lady who decides to eat some children.
Jack: Probably based on something true.
Cristina: Yeah. That's a Brother's Grimm story. There's a lot of cannibalism there. They call them man eaters, which, you know. Yeah. There's a creature called Wendingo that sounds really familiar. It's like a spirit that possesses humans or a human that humans could physically turn into. Like, transform into either a spirit going into a human or a human that turns into this thing and I guess they eat people, which could just explain cannibalism. Like, it's not a human. It's a spirit in that human making them eat people or this person. Like. But that's weird. The other way around of this person turns into this being after eating people. I wonder if it looks like a werewolf.
Jack: That's interesting, because if I remember a Wendingo being, like, a dog of some sort.
Cristina: What if it is? Oh, my gosh. Give me an image.
Jack: Oh, that looks very werewolfish to me. Get the f*** out of here.
Cristina: What? What?
Jack: What do you t. Come on. That's a. Tell me that's not a werewolf right there.
Cristina: Yeah. Also looks like that creature from the forest, from the.
Jack: The ritual.
Cristina: The ritual. Yep.
Jack: Loki's child.
Cristina: Yep. But who knows? Like, they could have thought that was a werewolf.
Jack: You know, it's interesting. The windingo.
Cristina: Yep. Wendingo. Oh, my gosh. What? Wendigo is another. Wendingo is like a werewolf, though, in that they were probably created to explain cannibalism but it's weird that they look so similar. I mean, I guess when you picture a monster, it's gonna look like similar in that it's a monster. I don't know.
Jack: To my understanding is mainly like some sort of werewolf looking thing.
Cristina: Yes. And they think humans turn into them. So that's very werewolf like.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Of a human turning. Yeah. I don't know. And then they eat humans.
Jack: Sounds about right.
Cristina: Yeah. So I don't know. Werewolf is a person that's a cannibal essentially.
Jack: Yeah. Wendingo and a werewolf are. No, not different by any means.
Cristina: No.
Jack: Except maybe the details of their appearance and the location. And the location maybe. Interesting that you would say that.
Cristina: Why? What is that?
Jack: Because this is the same problem we have with the Chupacabra, the vampire and the werewolf. Maybe the Windingo is just another f****** location here in the east, I mean in the west we got werewolf. You go really, really, really far north east of the planet and you get to vampires. You go south west of the planet and you land at the Chupacabra. Who says north east? England, Greenland. Not Greenland, but England, Scotland, Ireland. Area doesn't have the win Dingo an equivalent to the werewolf.
Cristina: I don't know. It's possible. We gotta find out more about the Windingo.
Jack: The Windingo.
Cristina: The Windingo. I like the name. I just like how similar though it is. It's the werewolf of somewhere else. But if it's the werewolf from here though, what if we.
Jack: That'd be weird.
Cristina: How Windingles here. I know, but we'll find out. We'll find all that out. And in 1846-47, there was a family that was crossing from one side of America to the other side for I think the Gold Rush or whatever it was called back then. I think it was that. I'm not 100% sure. And they think there was cannibalism in that party because it was a harsh. I think it was also a harsh winter like the other story we were talking about of Jamestown. And they were going through a supposed shortcut, except the guy never really went through it to make it clear for them. So it was kind of a lie maybe. And they just ended up having a miserable trip and a lot of them died and some of them probably the legend goes that they ate some of them. But I don't know if there's any physical proof, proof at all. But it could be like the Jamestown thing where there's at least letter evidence that yeah, there's cannibalism, but no Bones or anything to show it.
Jack: That's interesting. The letters of Jamestown say what?
Cristina: One of the letters was from the. I guess the temporary leader after their. They had a leader originally, of course, and I think he ran away or something, or he quit after things got tough. Oh, yeah. Wait. The original leader of Jamestown had to leave because he was wounded in an explosion. So he went back to England, and so they got a temporary leader, and he was writing about what was going on in Jamestown during the time, and he was talking about how desperate people got and how they were started off eating their pets and stuff and then ended up just eating anything they could find, whether it was a snake or a mouse, all that stuff.
Jack: Interesting, interesting.
Cristina: And he even said that some of the people ate their boots, shoes, and that the people who left the fort were killed by the warriors of the tribe that they felt like they were betrayed by or that felt like Jamestown people betray them because they were trying to do stuff with another tribe. Yeah, yeah. So he wrote all about all that. So there's probably a bunch of letters that he's written that you.
Jack: Who was he sending those letters to?
Cristina: Maybe it was just a record of it, so that when the new leader came, he would know, like, this is what happened. Maybe it was his diary. Who knows? Well, the Donner family, they were writing diaries. I don't think they were writing letters to anyone. I think they were just writing about their situation because they had nothing else better to do there.
Jack: They have letters?
Cristina: Yeah, pretty sure they had letters. I'm not sure if they were mailing them out or what was going on. I mean, they couldn't mail it out, but afterwards, maybe they were planning to. I don't know.
Jack: Mailing them the. Who.
Cristina: Other family members. It wasn't just one family. It was a bunch of families. It was like 30 people. It was a lot of people. But I guess a bunch of. This was normal of a bunch of groups of people from one side of the country would travel together to the other side of the country. And this was just one of the large groups that were going. Because you wouldn't just travel alone to the other side by yourself or anything. Yep. And some of the families through the trip, like, abandoned the trip because it's. This is a crazy trip.
Jack: Yeah. So they just, like, spread out.
Cristina: Yeah. Yep. And a few of them did make it to the end.
Jack: The most determined always make it.
Cristina: And I mentioned that in England law, you. If you kill someone for food, it's considered a crime, no matter what the circumstances. And there was A case, r. V. Dubly and Stevens, in which two men were found guilty for killing and eating a cabin boy while they were adrift in sea on a lifeboat. Kind of the same story of Arrow, except that his dad and the other guy was like, no, we'll die and you can eat us. These guys were like, nah, we're gonna kill this boy and eat him.
Jack: Survival.
Cristina: Yep. Yeah. So they die. They died. No. So they got in trouble for that. So. Yes. Don't eat people unless they die. That's what you gotta do.
Jack: Only eat the dead.
Cristina: Only eat the dead, then it's okay. But don't steal the dead. That's probably also a crime.
Jack: Grave Robin is a crime. Grave Robin and f****** the dead. Necrophilia.
Cristina: Oh, yeah. That's also a crime. What if you're doing it for magic?
Jack: Everybody should definitely go out and eat themselves a human. But make sure you don't kill them. Go wait at a hospital.
Cristina: What?
Jack: It's Covid era. Covid's everywhere. People are dying left and right. You just wait until they die. If you've got Covid, particularly, you're not gonna catch more Covid. So you can just go wait at a hospital and eat a dead COVID patient. And if you don't have Covid, you have to wait for one of the patients that are getting neglected because they don't have Covid to die. And then you eat them. There's people to eat for everybody.
Cristina: Yes. I don't know if you can do that, though. I know that reporter did it, but that was a while ago.
Jack: It should be possible. You should be able to go to a hospital and eat patient after they die.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: Especially if they're homeless. They got no nothing to lose. Nobody's gonna care. Although I don't know why families of dead people care about their body. It's weird that we don't do more productive things with the bodies.
Cristina: Like make them into tattoo. No. What was it? No, that was just. If they have tattoos that you'd take that tattoo.
Jack: Or you could save their eyes.
Cristina: Or you could take their eyes. Oh, is there anything else you can take that wouldn't be so weird?
Jack: No, you just give some. Don't embalm the bodies and just give the fre. Freaking body to the earth to, like, give nutrients.
Cristina: You gotta do. Yes.
Jack: Bury them where you plant a tree. Let them become a tree.
Cristina: Stop. Stop believing in that whole thing of. What was it? The embalming.
Jack: Embalming fluid.
Cristina: That's a lie. That's a lie. That's like the rich people thinking mummies were gonna save them.
Jack: Yeah. Embalming fluid is dumb. And how we celebrate the death of people. Like, why are we being sorrowful? Yes, it sucks. But, like, rather than throw this gloomy a** thing, have a f****** party.
Cristina: Have a party.
Jack: Have a party in honor of the life. That was like.
Cristina: Some places do they get that have a party.
Jack: And everybody at the party eats their body.
Cristina: I don't know about that.
Jack: Why that person's gonna be inside everybody and in that same party as you eat the meat because you chop the person up and cook them. You also, if they have tattoos, have already chopped up the tattoos according to what each image is and, like, framed them after you've preserved them or whatever.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And so you put it so that people can take whichever ones they want.
Cristina: And then with what, Bard? Because I doubt you could eat the whole body if for some reason there's body parts left. You can still borrow birds bury. You still bury that part.
Jack: Yeah. You could turn them into a tree. Turn whatever body parts are left into a tree.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: This is that we're starting. The new way to celebrate death.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: For Thanksgiving.
Cristina: For Thanksgiving.
Jack: Eat your loved ones with your family for Thanksgiving.
Cristina: Yes. Happy Thanksgiving.
Jack: Happy Thanksgiving. If you guys like this episode where we tell you how to eat your family and how other people in the past have eaten their families and friends.
Cristina: Now you know we taste like veal.
Jack: Now you know we taste like veal. And there's a previous Thanksgiving episode from last year you guys can check out. So go indulge in that Thanksgiving where you find out what Thanksgiving really is. And then you celebrate this new way we're teaching you about eating your family. Since you'll learn that what you already thought was a lie.
Cristina: Yes. Yes. Go learn about those lizard people.
Jack: Yeah. And you can find that on the official website. And you can find that on the official website. Greythoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts or on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or anywhere else you get your podcast.
Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.
Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review it. Tell us in the review whether you plan to eat your family.
Cristina: And let someone who might like the show know about it.
Jack: Yes, let somebody who's interested in becoming a cannibal know about the show. Tell them about it. Tell them about Thanksgiving if they're gonna celebrate.
Cristina: Okay, this has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening Bye. I thought it was veal.
Jack: I thought it was veal as well.
Cristina: Mutton? I don't know. Is veal a baby lamb?
Jack: It's like, is veal baby beef or lamb? Veal is a meat of calves in contrast to the beef from older cattle. Veal can be produced from a calf of either sex and any bread. However, most veal comes from young males and dairy breeds. Blah, blah, blah. Generally, veal is more expensive than. Doesn't answer the f****** question.
Cristina: It sounds like it comes from cows.
Jack: It doesn't tell us what f****** baby lamb meat is. I thought that was veal.
Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister. With social media managed by Amber Black.