Rambling 111: Shapeshifters

The Just Conversation Podcast, Vampire, Werewolf, Werewolves, Monsters, Scary, Terror, Horror, Aliens, Alien, Abduction, Lore, Folklore

What are the odds that all the creatures throughout folklore are the same species? Comparing Vampires, Werewolves, Chupacabras and deciding whether they are all just shapeshifters.

Story:
On their hunt to capture a werewolf, the duo dive deeper into the lore, general information and what creatures might be relative to werewolves. Unbeknown to them, they’d discover some scary truths about other creatures and uncover knowledge that perhaps werewolves and their true kind never wanted humans, clones, the illuminati and garbage sub-humans to know. Find out what on this episode of Just Conversation.

(This episode contains a transcript to make it accessible to Deaf and Hard of Hearing Audiences #DeafPodcast #PodcastTranscript)

+Episode Details

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Topics Discussed

  • Blood Drinking Werewolves
  • Vampire Werewolves
  • Shapeshifter DNA
  • Nightstalkers
  • Vampire & Werewolf Similarities
  • How Vampires are Made
  • Counting Vampires
  • Werewolf Fairy Tales
  • Little Red Riding Hood
  • Permission To Enter

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+Transcript

Jack: Is werewolf just a shapeshifter? And if so, what other creatures has that shapeshifter turned into? That and more coming up on this episode of Just Conversation.

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable. A listening partner to share opinions and ideas on the topics we discuss. So be sure to find some body fancy and turn on something fancy that can play such a fancy pantsy show.

Cristina: We're fancy.

Jack: We're fancy.

Cristina: Yes, we're definitely. What makes something fancy?

Jack: I don't know. Anything around us is fancy.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Things around us are fancy.

Cristina: Okay, well, but they don't know what things you're talking about.

Jack: Anything.

Cristina: Anything is fancy around us. Around us?

Jack: Yes. So they play the show. Yes, they're fancy.

Cristina: Okay. Oh, we make things fancy.

Jack: Yes. Anything that's in the wave range of our voices is fancy.

Cristina: Are our ways giving them cancer? Like the 5G thing? Since those things can give cancer? What can't give cancer? Can our voices give cancer?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Are you pausing?

Jack: Not unless we want them to, no.

Cristina: Okay, well, for now, we just want them to be fancy.

Jack: Sometimes we give people cancer intentionally, but that's just for our enemies who are listening.

Cristina: What? What enemies are listening? We have enemies.

Jack: We have many enemies.

Cristina: What?

Jack: War enemies.

Cristina: War enemies. The cat people.

Jack: Yeah, sure, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know who's our enemy is. I feel like we're friends with everyone.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Yes. Our listeners consider us their best friends.

Jack: Some listeners. Some of them are our enemies.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Well, if you get cancer, you know who you are.

Jack: Actually, they have to trace their cancer back to the show.

Cristina: Oh, yeah.

Jack: And then they'll know who they are.

Cristina: And then they all know.

Jack: Until then, they have no clue who they are. They're just confused. It's like, who am I? Do I have an identity?

Cristina: What?

Jack: I just woke up listening to this show. I don't remember anything prior to this show. And then they go to the hospital to get tests and they're like, you got cancer. And they're like, ah, that's a double whammy.

Cristina: They don't know who they are and they got cancer. They think they're cancer. Then what?

Jack: Everybody who listens to the show, Their memory gets wiped of all knowledge except the show.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But when they go to the doctor, whether or not they have cancer, they know who they are and whether they're our enemy or not. But if they have cancer, they know they're our enemy. They're like, oh, my God, that's who I am. And also, I guess that makes me the enemy.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, wow.

Jack: They don't even think they're the good guy. They're like, I'm the bad guy.

Cristina: Mmm. And this happens every time they listen to our show?

Jack: Yes. Everybody who's ever listened to the show has immediately gone to the hospital afterwards because of amnesia.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Are we starting something?

Jack: It's kind of like that Pokemon thing where the kids got, like, seizure. Allegedly.

Cristina: Yeah. Everyone got seizures.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: After the news broke out that everyone's getting seizures.

Jack: Yes. It's weird. Dude, that's mass hysteria. For real.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That was in the mass hysteria episode, wasn't it? Yeah, it was, man. Yeah. Good episode.

Cristina: Yeah. Also, the vampires, when we talked about vampires and the history of, like, real.

Jack: Cases, that was all his nuns biting people and s***.

Cristina: I don't remember that. Nuns. I know. Nuns were singing.

Jack: Hold the.

Cristina: No, they were meowing.

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Cristina: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jack: Not only do I have this inkling that Christ was a vampire, but we'll address that later. We have an actual case. Religious vampires. There were nuns f****** biting people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And you mentioned that before.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Also in the Mass of Syria episode.

Cristina: Possibly. Yes.

Jack: Bro, were those nuns vampires or werewolves?

Cristina: I don't know. I mean, you go against the Church, you become one of them again.

Jack: Holy s***. There's already. Whoa. There's a couple of crossing lines there.

Cristina: Yeah. The Church is creating monsters.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah, they are.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know, but if you remember from last time on Dragon Ball Z on Just Conversation. Well, last time when I was talking about werewolves, we were talking about two different types of werewolves. We were getting to something. To Adrenochrome.

Jack: We were getting to Adrenochrome.

Cristina: Yes. We were getting to Adrenochrome. We were getting to werewolves that turn into vampires after they die, Right? Yes. And.

Jack: Wait, werewolves turn into vampires after they die?

Cristina: Yes. When they die. For some reason, they're. How was it? Okay. When they die. When werewolves die, their human body stays a human during the daytime, but at night, they still become werewolves. But instead of just craving flesh like they normally do, they Crave blood. Yes.

Jack: So. Oh, yeah, I remember that. But does that make them? I guess it does. But that really. And I guess, like we were talking about in that episode, that breaks into the idea that they're sort of two different souls fighting for one body. Or not souls, but living things. There's two things fighting for one body and the vampire is one of those things.

Cristina: And the vampire.

Jack: But the living other thing is dead.

Cristina: Yeah, it's dead. So it's just a vampire going to a dead body at night and turning into a wolf to drink blood. Yeah, that's what's going on. Maybe. I don't know. To solve that the living dead werewolf problem, they would have to destroy the body. The werewolf sneaking into the battlefield was back in Greece in the 19th century. But in parts of Germany, Poland and northern France, dead people will come back to life to drink blood as wolves. If they were living in mortals and evil people, when evil people died, they would become werewolves.

Jack: Drink blood. So there was no. Like you need something else to make you werewolves. Just being a bad person made you a werewolf?

Cristina: Yes. After death, though.

Jack: So werewolves are zombies.

Cristina: Yes. That drink blood.

Jack: That drink bloods of vampires?

Cristina: Yes, But I don't know why. But yes. And then they will return into their human form at the daylight, like the battle, the ones in Greece, I think.

Jack: Fascinating.

Cristina: And they would need a priest to decapitate it and do an exorcism. Like, you know, when a regular demon goes into a body situation, I guess. And then the head would be thrown into a river. I don't know why, but you gotta throw that head into the river somehow.

Jack: That solves the problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The murder part had nothing to do with it.

Cristina: No. You just needed that head to throw into the river.

Jack: So if the head is not in the river. Boom. Still alive.

Cristina: Yeah. Maybe it'll find its head, put it back on, and then continue on drinking blood.

Jack: So in theory, that body could still move around. It'll just be aimless.

Cristina: Yes, in theory, I guess. I don't know. Or maybe once the head is in the water, the body just can't move. It needs to know that the head is round to continue moving.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: And then new things about werewolves that we didn't mention before was, you know, the normal. They're vulnerable to silver and highly resistant to injury. Except that you could cut them. I mean, I guess that's not an injury you're forcing. You're like breaking them apart to kill them. Oh, those poor people who are. Who are mistaken as werewolves. I guess it Sucks for them. It sucks.

Jack: It goes back to, you know, how do you tell if somebody's a witch? You drown them. If they're dead, they're not a witch. But if they don't drown, they are a witch. So my question is, did they ever discover a witch? Because they probably just drown. Hella m************.

Cristina: Yeah. And the werewolf thing, I guess the werewolf test of, like, if they have fur under their skin, that's proof. I don't know. Well, that's a weird proof.

Jack: Yeah, it's like, oh, I guess he wasn't a werewolf.

Cristina: How many hands were cut? And if you put silver on them, I think their skin is supposed to burn as well.

Jack: Which they've probably also never seen.

Cristina: No. What if a person's allergic to silver? Is that a possibility?

Jack: I wonder if that's a thing. That's interesting.

Cristina: Yeah. How many people allergic to silver has that happened?

Jack: But, like, their skin wouldn't burn, they just get, like, a rash?

Cristina: No, they get a rash. Yeah. But they're gonna look.

Jack: And not even immediately. Not even immediately.

Cristina: How long after?

Jack: It would take a while to have a reaction.

Cristina: Oh, well, they'll wait for that and then say, that's a burn. And in places that wolves weren't a thing, there were other things that were very similar. Like in Africa, there was the were hyena. In India, a were tiger. In South America, there were were pumas and were jaguars. And in Asian countries, they had were foxes. That's pretty cool.

Jack: That'd be cool.

Cristina: Were fox.

Jack: A were fox. It's like a little anime girl.

Cristina: How do you like? So I have to move into one of those places. I wonder if turning into those were creatures are the same as a werewolf.

Jack: Like, you gotta drink their print water.

Cristina: Yes. Or be asleep in a summer day with the sun hitting your face on a Wednesday or Friday.

Jack: Look, man, if you're gonna become a fox. Yeah. You gotta be like, in an autumn field. And it has to be like a half a moon. And it needs to be out, like in dusk when the sun is still out. So you could get hit by both, because that's around the time you'll see a fox. And that's when you get hit by both of those. And the combined power. Boom. Now you are a fox. Human person thing. A were fox.

Cristina: But what if, because I was born in a place where wolves are common, I just end up being a werewolf?

Jack: You think that'd be interesting. So let's say hypothetically, this stuff is real.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And the regional DNA is really what's making the transformation on the creatures of the area?

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So if you went to an area where there were different creatures, would your DNA still be the DNA from your region? Because your DNA doesn't change.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: What you have is in your DNA. Just because you went somewhere else doesn't mean you'd suddenly become like a were hyena. Because you went from the US to Africa. I wish you would just become a werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah. Slim.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Or were deer. I feel like it's always a dangerous animal. You can't be a were deer.

Jack: In that case it would like. That would be horrifying anyways. But in that case it would. You could be a were buffalo.

Cristina: Were. But it feels like it has to be something that eats meat.

Jack: Why? You could be a were buffalo and just beat the s*** out of somebody without eating them.

Cristina: But all those examples of all those were places had meat eating animals.

Jack: But why can't there be examples that are just something that'll beat like a were elephant? You just grow over size and everywhere you go.

Cristina: Haven't heard of it. There should be were hippos.

Jack: Were hippo. A were hippo. Like a hippo doesn't even need to eat meat. It's just gonna murder. It murders because it can just three.

Cristina: Times the size of a hippo. Oh my gosh.

Jack: Yeah, man.

Cristina: That's too like if something like that.

Jack: Bipedal hippo freak.

Cristina: Yeah, a bipedal.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: No, you would have three legs with one leg up.

Jack: Because hippos have an extra skinny short leg. You have three normal hippo sized legs and then one really skinny short leg, like abnormally short to fit the tiny, tiny, tiny tail the hippo has. And then that one leg pretends to be the hippo's tail.

Cristina: Yes. Because it's a smart hippo.

Jack: It's a smart hippo. That's so disturbing about like werewolves that they would even do that.

Cristina: Yes, but that is so disturbing. But anyways, lets talk about werewolves and vampires and the common traits of a werewolf and a vampire piece. I would love to talk about vampires. I want to compare and contrast. Well, we know that they're both creatures of the night.

Jack: Yes. Although I don't think it's exclusively creatures of the night for werewolves. There are versions of werewolves that are purebred werewolves that move in the daylight. I think they just need the full moon to transform. Or in some cases it's to transform.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like in other cases it just permanently keeps them transformed.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So a lot of the versions of werewolf are that I'M only a werewolf as long as there's a full moon. And as soon as the full moon's gone, I'm not a werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it needs to be night so that the light of the moon is the most dominant light in the sky. So the moon could be full and outside, but you not be a werewolf because it's not the most dominant light in the sky. You're getting sunlight combined with moonlight. You need strong moonlight without the sun in the way. In the way to turn. In other cases, you are already carrying a werewolf DNA and you could become a werewolf, but you have to kill the werewolf that turned you into a werewolf before your next full moon, or you become permanently a werewolf. Those are two different variants. And in the case of that second option, you could become a werewolf day.

Cristina: Or night if you're a baby werewolf. If you're unrelated to the main werewolf, you could do it whenever.

Jack: If you've been bitten and turned into a werewolf, you don't need the full moon to turn into a werewolf.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: You just permanently get trapped as a werewolf after the full moon.

Cristina: And then after the full moon, though, then it has to be a full moon.

Jack: Interesting. Maybe those are two things that work together because you can. I don't know why it would stop you suddenly from being able to turn. Maybe because it could be like you turn whenever, but then after the full moon. Now you turn only on the full moon. I feel like that's less productive than you turning whenever.

Cristina: Yeah, but also for the vampire. Not all stories have vampires that are weak during the day or they have to sleep during daytime. That just became the favorite over time.

Jack: But usually they're hybrids.

Cristina: Hybrids?

Jack: Yeah. They're not pure vampires.

Cristina: How can you tell?

Jack: Because pure vampires can't go out in daylight.

Cristina: Well, in some stories, I guess. But some stories, some vampires can I believe.

Jack: Usually those are the very, very old vampires. And they still get affected by the sunlight. Like it burns slowly. So they can travel through the sunlight, but they can't stay in the sunlight.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah, there's actually. I forgot what it was called. It's a breakdown of how vampires work. Like their age ranges or something like that. Really, they're. Before a certain point, going into the sunlight turns you into stone or it ignites your skin. Actually, yeah. One turns you into stone, the younger ones, and then they crumble or ash. It turns them into ash. Then somewhere in their teens, a vampirism, they get turned into stone. Then somewhere in their mid middle age, they get a vampirism. You could be any age, but like in the middle ages of being a vampire.

Cristina: So it would be like hundreds of years pass.

Jack: Yeah, hundreds of years or something like that. Maybe like 200 years. Your skin sets on fire, but you don't die instantly the way you do younger, where you get turned into stone or ash. Then later you get. Your body sizzles, but you do not ignite. And then finally your body gradually starts heating up so you can move through.

Cristina: Sunlight but sizzle like you tan or.

Jack: No, like your body will eventually burn the way it would. Like in all of these instances, your body's still burning, but it's slower and slower each time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: At the first case you just turn to ash. In the second case you turn to stone and then to ash, but you gradually turn to stone.

Cristina: Yeah, but these are like hundreds or like years apart from each stage.

Jack: Yes, yes. We're talking like the first one within the first hundred years. Second one, Maybe the first two, 300 years. The third one maybe like 500 years. You know, giant gaps.

Cristina: Okay, so then in both situations then they. They're mainly at night still. Werewolves and vampires.

Jack: Not werewolves.

Cristina: Vampires, not werewolves. Okay.

Jack: Vampires are mainly at night. Werewolves have some ways around the rules.

Cristina: Yeah. Especially baby you, I guess, bitten ones. That's what you're saying.

Jack: Yeah. Because there are bits born werewolves, there's also born vampires that work very differently. There's the whole trade off of when a creature is born with the DNA and when a creature is turned. Now there's all. There are some versions of each of these that don't allow for birth to happen. So you can only become. You can't be born as.

Cristina: Yes. And the way they become, though, are the same. That they have to be bitten. Yes, that it has to be through blood or saliva.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: And I think that's pretty much it that I could think of that they have in common, though.

Jack: But there are some crossing lines between werewolves and vampires that seem to be pretty similar.

Cristina: Yeah. Let's talk about vampires and where they come from, because we know werewolves are. Well, we really don't know much. We know that they could either be made or by gods getting revenge. Remember that? Yeah. Or wearing a furry belt.

Jack: Being a furry.

Cristina: Being a furry. Being bitten could turn you into a werewolf, of course.

Jack: Or drinking print water.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: Or being outside in the moonlight.

Cristina: Vampires could be just evil people, people who committed suicide or witches that are coming back to life after they're dead because of. I guess evilness is bringing them back to dead from the dead. Yes. And they could Also be created by. By evil spirit or by being bitten by a vampire.

Jack: By evil spirit. Yeah. Being bitten by a vampire is normal. And what do they mean by evil spirit?

Cristina: Just like a spirit going into a dead body.

Jack: So a person who's possessed is a vampire?

Cristina: Yeah, could turn into a vampire.

Jack: So all the exorcist movies are about vampires?

Cristina: Yes, only if they suck blood. That's the important part. Right.

Jack: So vampires. A vampiric spirit.

Cristina: Yeah, a vampiric spirit will turn you into a vampire. Also, in Slavic and Chinese traditions, dead bodies that are jumped over by an animal, usually a dog or a cat, their chances of being a vampire is pretty great.

Jack: That's weird. I don't know why that's pretty weird. That's pretty weird.

Cristina: Yes. And in Russia, vampires were witches or people who had rebelled against the church.

Jack: My question is then, are they vampires who suck blood or are they describing these people as vampires? Is it like a title rather than a creature?

Cristina: I think it's a creature. I think they really believe they're going to become this creature that drinks blood after they're dead.

Jack: Okay, that's weird.

Cristina: That's weird.

Jack: I'm sure the Church made that up.

Cristina: You think the Church made that up?

Jack: Yeah, to control people into following the line.

Cristina: Mmm. But a lot of these stories came before the church, too. Like the jumping dog on the dead body predates Christianity. What, the dog jumping over a dead body? Possibly.

Jack: You think it predates Christianity? You're telling me that that myth of a animal jumping over a person and that person transforming predates Christianity? Running the world, which seems to be one of the longest running jokes in all of time.

Cristina: Do we have pet dogs before Christianity?

Jack: That doesn't mean that myth came to be.

Cristina: That's true. I don't know.

Jack: Even when the concept of werewolf came to be.

Cristina: Yeah, well, the Greek ones, that would have been pre Christianity, wouldn't it, if Zeus was turning you into a werewolf?

Jack: Is this, I guess, was turning people.

Cristina: Into werewolves just one dude for being bad?

Jack: Fair enough.

Cristina: So unless he was Zeus around when.

Jack: God was around, I'm sure they're brothers.

Cristina: Yeah. And some more weird vampire stuff that you probably did not know is that in Europe, to slow down a vampire, you would cut their tendons on their knees. Ow. The dead body. If you suspected that dead body to be a vampire, you would cut their knee.

Jack: That seems legit. But why? Oh, what's the owl for? They're dead.

Cristina: Yeah, that's true. That's true. They're dead, so who cares? But it's such a weird. No, I guess I'm still thinking about the werewolves and like how you're torturing these living people to see. But these are dead people, so it's okay.

Jack: Yeah, you just mutilated that body. It's all good.

Cristina: That's fine. And then you also would place seeds, millet, sand around the grave. Because vampires love counting things, I guess. I don't know. No, because the sesame vampire.

Jack: It's because your f****** name is the Count. Is that why the Count?

Cristina: What? Vampires have to count things. I don't know why. They just do.

Jack: That's so crazy that they have to.

Cristina: They have this obsession of counting things.

Jack: To count all the sugar grains around them. Come on, man.

Cristina: Yes. If you have a lot of. A little bit of things like sand, they just. You'll trap a vampire.

Jack: That doesn't make sense. And why is a vampire functional at all? When they're in the forest, why aren't they just counting all the rocks? Big a** holes in that f****** plant?

Cristina: Because they're not in the forest, they're in graves.

Jack: Why aren't they counting all the dead bodies and all the insects in the.

Cristina: We don't know. They didn't do that before. They had to drink blood. They counted really fast and then they went to get food.

Jack: Nah, man. There's holes here.

Cristina: Yeah, that's in Europe. But China also has the same thing where a sack. You throw a sack of rice in front of a vampire, they have to count every grain of rice.

Jack: No, I disagree. That doesn't make any sense.

Cristina: How do you know the weakness of.

Jack: A vampire is not a bag of rice?

Cristina: Yes, you slow them down that way. How did you not? Have you heard of that before?

Jack: I've heard about it. I just don't believe it.

Cristina: Yeah, how are we to judge? We haven't seen it. We haven't tried it out.

Jack: Because then it's easy to beat them.

Cristina: Well, then you have to actually attack them afterwards. I guess that would be the hard part.

Jack: Just keep throwing bags of f****** rice.

Cristina: What happens when you run out of it?

Jack: You won't. You won't.

Cristina: And we don't know how fast they can count.

Jack: Not fast enough. You just keep throwing bags of rice. Yeah, they aren't lightning. Yeah, they're fast, but not light.

Cristina: You try to lead them to a beach.

Jack: Yeah, I wonder if that. Yeah, that's it. They're done. You win.

Cristina: They're just frozen. They're counting the sand.

Jack: How could they even differentiate beyond some point? How do they know what they've Counted?

Cristina: I don't know. They just have to restart. It's a mess. It's a vampire nightmare. Yeah, that's why you don't see vampires on the beach.

Jack: How do they know, man? Like, how does a vampire exit their grave and make it out? Because there's trees maybe.

Cristina: It has to be just tiny things because all these things are really tiny.

Jack: So they're like Valley Girls and like Tokyo party girls that they just love tiny things.

Cristina: Yes. Yes they are. Why are you judging these vampires who are obsessed with tiny things and need to count them all?

Jack: Apparently. Do they also shop at the Gap? The f***?

Cristina: And to protect yourself against vampires? Well, you probably know all these things. Garlic, the Bible, crucifix, holy water and mirrors. Ward off the vampire.

Jack: I'm 95% sure the church has nothing.

Cristina: To do with that.

Jack: No, the Bible created a vampire.

Cristina: The Bible created a vampire.

Jack: I'm sure reading from the Bible is how vampires are made. It's like making holy water.

Cristina: What do you mean?

Jack: Like a passage out of the Bible into a cup or something.

Cristina: And then what? Then you turn it to holy water.

Jack: It's turned into holy water? I guess.

Cristina: I don't really know.

Jack: Boil it.

Cristina: Boil it.

Jack: You boil the h*** out of it. And then it's holy water.

Cristina: And then it's holy water.

Jack: Yeah, because you boiled the h*** out of it.

Cristina: Well, so tell me that doesn't make sense. Huh? And vampires are unable to cross sacred ground like churches and temples. And for some reason they can't cross water. I don't know if water is also sacred or they just can't swim or. Now what's going on?

Jack: Let's look at a couple of descriptions of vampires, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: If you're already excessively white, it's hard to call you pale per se. In the dead of night, you're just white. But if you're already dark skinned, then it's easy to say that person is pale because they are a different kind of dark skin that looks kind of like if you put a fade filter over something that they have like that kind of pale off color look.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So this goes back to the racist ideology that black people can't swim. And also saying that black people were the vampires, you're saying they were the.

Cristina: Vampires and the werewolves.

Jack: I'm saying white people made all of these up, which means the white person has to be the hero according to the white person, which means the monster had to be the non white person.

Cristina: Whoa. What? Why are you ruining these creatures?

Jack: Because white people are racist.

Cristina: Well, we Know that.

Jack: Who is it who isn't racist? Like, fair enough. Who's not racist? Anybody who's like, only the white people are racist. Like, shut up. Shut up. Had you been in that position, you'd call them vampires.

Cristina: I call them vampires.

Jack: Although the witches were also colored women.

Cristina: Weren't they just women?

Jack: They were colored women.

Cristina: They were young women. I thought, yeah, young colored women crazy.

Jack: A lot of the time.

Cristina: Or older ladies. I don't know.

Jack: Colored women a lot of the time, yes.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That's why the voodoo priestess thing is very commonly the black woman. That all. It's coming back from the same tree of. Oh, they do magic, those witches. Those are the black women.

Cristina: Ah.

Jack: That just branches down now.

Cristina: They're werewolves, vampires and witches, which are.

Jack: All just white people coming up with different derogatory names and s*** for just ways to get black people killed.

Cristina: Okay. What? Yeah, it's crazy. That's so messed up. But anyway, vampires can't enter the house unless you invite them over.

Jack: That's a weird one.

Cristina: Yeah. And they can go come and go after that point. It's just the first time thing, which they need your permission, but once you give it to them, that's it.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: I don't know why, but I don't know, I wonder.

Jack: Because it's. Let's see, things that have those same rules. There are, like, the Bible has those rules. You gotta let Jesus into your heart and give them permission. You gotta give them permission. Do you accept Christ as your savior? No. Then he can't come in. And vampires have to also do that same thing. Werewolves don't give a s***. They'll break in.

Cristina: Yeah, but the werewolf stories, they didn't seem to break into any place. They were just outside waiting for you.

Jack: Yeah, interesting, maybe.

Cristina: So maybe they can't come in.

Jack: But they don't have the capacity to communicate, to try to convince you. Like, can I come in?

Cristina: Yes. Except for that werewolf. In that story of the Little Red.

Jack: Riding Hood, she asked for permission.

Cristina: Yeah, He. To the. I think to get in the first time with the old lady, he had to be like, I'm, you know, I'm Little Red Riding Hood. You gotta let me in. And she's like, okay. And then she let him in. And then he, you know, did all.

Jack: That interesting twist on that because for the three little pigs, he also asked for permission to go in. And he said, if you're not gonna let me in, I'll knock your f****** house down.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: He can't just break in. Dude, you could Blow their house down.

Cristina: But he can't go into their door in. Maybe they have the same rule.

Jack: Holy s***. I think they have the same rules.

Cristina: Oh, snap.

Jack: They're just at least that polite about it. They're not gonna be like, hey, can I come in for a cup of dinner?

Cristina: Because they can't communicate that way.

Jack: Yeah. Interesting, interesting. So then my question is what we know that tales like these children's tales come from either warnings that adults have created for children to warn them about bads of the world without making them scared of people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Or real events that have happened in people's that they're warning about in a more literal sense. In the case of the Three Little Piggies and Little Red Riding Hood, were those situations with real werewolves? Because in both cases they were in the forest where the werewolf hangs out.

Cristina: But they called them wolves. They were just wolves.

Jack: Of course. Of course.

Cristina: But it's to not scare the kids from werewolves, I guess.

Jack: Yeah. Because you were talking about a human talking to a wolf.

Cristina: I don't know. Yeah.

Jack: And the three Little pigs, hams, those are just white people.

Cristina: They were calling themselves little pigs. Okay.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Why didn't they pick something else?

Jack: Just a way to make a cute story, I guess. But they're talking to a werewolf or something.

Cristina: Mmm. Yeah.

Jack: And so that werewolf, they were maybe having a legit conversation with a werewolf in those stories. Like, what's the real, the groove version of it, you know? Like, is there a f****** werewolf in these situations that they're having a conversation with? In the case of Little Red Riding Hood, the werewolf can't get in because this goes back to what we're talking about. These lines are crossing heavily because there are the same rules. They kind of have the same timelines, they have the same ways of turning into one another. Are we just talking about a shapeshifter? Take many different forms, but it doesn't matter because the same rules for turning into the same rules for entering property, the same rules for defeat to some degree are all there.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You got to remove the head of a vampire the same way you got to remove the head of a f****** werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The bite turns you. In both cases, usually killing the one who turned you turns you back. If you do it before a certain period of time or whatever.

Cristina: So it's all the same story.

Jack: Interesting. In vampire's case, you have to kill the vampire before your bloodlust gets to you, before you have to feed.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So you kill the vampire who turned you before you feed. The way you kill the wolf who turned you before the full moon so.

Cristina: You'Re not permanently permanent.

Jack: Same way you're not permanent a vampire if you kill the other one before you drink human blood. If you drink human blood, you stay a vampire.

Cristina: So it's the same story. It's just about a different creature. But it's practice. It's practically the same creature. Maybe.

Jack: Yeah, there's some real close lines there.

Cristina: Yeah. And although, like I mentioned before, although vampires were believed to be more active at night, they were not generally considered vulnerable to the sunlight. I don't know. Like, through time they've become weaker to the sun. But originally the sun wasn't their weakness or anything. They just like to move around during the night.

Jack: It was just easier at night.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess because you can catch.

Jack: People at home, people out. You can't. How hard is it to feed outside with streets filled with people?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Especially when everybody's walking.

Cristina: But if it's the same with werewolves, like, you gotta wait for night because.

Jack: That'S the easier time. You could just, like, attack people on their own versus groups.

Cristina: Yeah. Mmm. That could be it. What? What? And the different methods of destroying a vampire. Or I guess, murder. I guess you can't really say murder because it's already dead.

Jack: It's not dead. Neither a vampire nor a zombie are dead.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We've established this.

Cristina: But it's. The person who was. The vampire is dead, though.

Jack: Disagree.

Cristina: No. You think the person's still alive?

Jack: Yes, I think in both cases the person is alive. You're just talking about level of brain function in the case.

Cristina: I mean, the original person. Like, if a vampire takes over your body, you're not there anymore.

Jack: I don't think there's a different per. I think a vampire is like, interview with a vampire. Like, that guy remembers his past life, he remembers all of it, and he's like, man, I wish I could go back to being that.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But, like, I'm here now. I can't stop it.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That seems real to me versus, I guess I just see to exist.

Cristina: Okay. Because that's how it sounds like, though. Like, a demon comes into your dead body.

Jack: And in the case of you being possessed and thus being a vampire. I guess. Yeah, but you turning into a vampire, that's not something else invading you. That's you who already exists. Turning. Turning into a vampire.

Cristina: Yeah, well. Okay, well, when you turn into a vampire, the things we gotta do to get rid of you is taking you through the heart and some. And through the mouth. For some reason. I don't know why the mouth, but.

Jack: The brain, maybe you're trying to hit the brain, maybe.

Cristina: And the stomach. Those are the three good spots.

Jack: So you mean, like where the heart is, the brain is, or like, organs. Vital organs. So essentially the way you'd kill a human.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Do that and you'll kill a vampire?

Cristina: Definitely. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's exactly the same.

Jack: Sounds about right. I feel like a lot of things could be killed that way.

Cristina: Also, getting rid of the head and then burning it.

Jack: Sounds about right.

Cristina: Oh, burying the head between the feet or behind the b*** or away from the body for some reason. You just got to keep that head away once you get it off the.

Jack: Body, because the body is gonna go get it the same way a werewolf would.

Cristina: But if you hide it behind its b***, can it just get it?

Jack: Not if you tie its hands in the front and you tape the head to the b***. How would he get the head if his hands are tight in front of him? You can also do it the opposite way and tie his hand behind him. And if he's a guy, you can hang his own head off of his own d***, tape it against her. So he's forever blowing himself, but he can't do anything but blow himself, but blow himself for all of eternity.

Cristina: Whoa. Revenge on that vampire. Revenge.

Jack: Also something that applies to anyone and everyone, except in most cases, those people are dead. And you just made a corpse blow itself.

Cristina: Yes. Why? Whatever. We're crazy. You can't blame us. We're crazy.

Jack: Yeah. There's something wrong with humans for sure.

Cristina: And also, pouring boiling water over the grave. What?

Jack: To, like, super make sure.

Cristina: I guess instead of burning it, you don't got fire. Use water.

Jack: Here's the thing. I think the grave, like, is the grave already covered back up?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Because if it's, like, there's a bunch of dirt, like, that dirt's gonna, like, cool that water down.

Cristina: We should probably do it to the body. If we're gonna burn the body, why not boil the body as well?

Jack: With, like, oil?

Cristina: With oil.

Jack: With oil, not water. Going easy.

Cristina: Yeah. Also, vampires could be shot or drowned, of course, or sprinkled by holy water.

Jack: So everything plus demon stuff. So a vampire is basically a person and could die any way you'd kill a person.

Cristina: Plus exorcism.

Jack: Plus exorcism.

Cristina: Although I feel like if you exercise a human, they might die too.

Jack: Some of the methods of exorcism would kill a normal human.

Cristina: Yes. That's why there has been cases where humans who were exercised go to court against the church because, like, I had mental problems and you destroyed me. That's been real thing that has happened, too.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Yeah. And then you could also put garlic in its mouth and then shoot a bullet through the coffin.

Jack: So, like, I don't feel you need the garlic at that point. Like, you could just.

Cristina: If you just do one, it won't work.

Jack: Just shoot him. He's fine. But if he's got garlic and you shoot him, boom, you solve that problem.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Isn't the garlic what's being effective there? Why don't you just fill, like, prison style instead of filling a bag up with soap?

Cristina: And if you don't have garlic, you could use lemon. You put lemon in its mouth.

Jack: So like, maybe being a vampire is more of a, like, genetic disorder where, like, you're just allergic to a bunch of s***.

Cristina: You're just allergic to a bunch of.

Jack: You're allergic to garlic and lemons. And then they put them there and you, like, super weak and dying and can't breathe, and then they shoot you.

Cristina: Duh. Oh, I forgot to mention. Oh, my gosh. This story. To find the graves of vampires. Oh, my gosh. You need to have a virgin boy riding a virgin horse. And then the horse will get scared at the grave that the vampire is in.

Jack: Because vampires rape virgin boys and horses.

Cristina: I don't know. I just think the priest might need help to know which one's the virgin.

Jack: I do, too. I think that's exactly what's happening. I think this goes back to white people in power and the church, for whatever reason.

Cristina: But why a virgin horse? You think he needs the horse too?

Jack: Probably.

Cristina: When he can't have the boy, he'll have the horse.

Jack: No, no, no. He's gonna have the boy, but he's also gonna have the horse.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Also, graves with hoes over it. I guess, like, hoes are appearing on top of the grave.

Jack: That's an arm that poked out.

Cristina: I guess maybe that's what they think happened.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: And they're just holes there. Maybe someone's trying to actually steal that grave or something.

Jack: I think it's the other way around. I think they accidentally buried a living person who was like, I could do it.

Cristina: I can do it. I can get out, get out. Then that person suffocates and dies, but they think it's a vampire. So they're gonna put a lemon in its mouth and shoot it?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, pretty much. If they. I wonder how many times that happened. They accidentally. Like, somebody was in a coma or passed out. Or some s***. They threw him in a grave, and they. The person gains consciousness while in this hole.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then they're trying to get out, and they're like, it's a vampire. F****** shoot it. Not Jimmy was alive. F****** kill it. It's a zombie or something.

Cristina: Nope, just shoot it. That's so crazy, taking no chances.

Jack: I think that's why it's a law or some s*** that you got to dig a shallow grave when you put somebody at the beginning.

Cristina: Really.

Jack: I think so. I'm not really sure.

Cristina: I know they have, like, bells on graves just in case they bury a person alive so you can ring that bell. I don't even know if that's a true story. That might just have been a legend. And then people just took it too seriously and were like, just in case this happens to me, I want a bell on my grave.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: But I don't know.

Jack: Maybe I'll be buried alive.

Cristina: Mm. So now that's enough vampire talks. Let's talk about other creatures that are. That can transform and drink blood. I guess that's the important thing we need that's in common with vampires and werewolves and chupacabras.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: And the first creature up is wendingos, and I. Not really sure what a wendigo look like. It's a creature that takes over a body, and that person goes mad and eats people.

Jack: Now, to my understanding, a wendingo kind of looks like a werewolf.

Cristina: I don't think so. Do they?

Jack: I do think so, but I don't. Here's the. Here's the difference. I don't think they look like it. Depictions of them look like it. Yeah, that's the problem. When dingoes are depicted, it's kind of looking like werewolf.

Cristina: Yeah. But then they go inside the human, and then the human does these acts.

Jack: I don't think the wind dingo looks like that. I think the human dingo combo looks like that.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yes. Because there's a. The original wendigo that turns.

Jack: That's just.

Cristina: Yeah, but like a werewolf and a vampire that they have to be bitten. This thing bites, I guess, quote unquote, the. The victim, and then he turns into a win dingo and then he murders everyone.

Jack: Yes. There you go.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So they turn to something that looks like a werewolf in depictions, in depictions.

Cristina: Okay. But from the stories, it just. It's really crazy when dingles, after being after a person is. Becomes a win dingle. They just. They have an incredible need for greed, murder, and cannibalism. Even though there might Be food around, they'll still murder.

Jack: So they're like just aggressively wrathful and violent.

Cristina: Yes. There's been like two cases about Wendingell's. One case was in 1878 where a guy named Swift Runner and his family were starving and there was emergency food 25 miles away. And for some reason, instead of the guy going to get the food, Swift Runner just killed and ate his family, which were like I think five other people. And then he eventually confessed to the crime and got executed.

Jack: But he doesn't sound like he was a win dingo. He sounds like a f****** lunatic who was clear minded.

Cristina: Probably blamed the Wendigo. Yeah, yeah. That's why I think happened. I mean it could be just a crazy guy.

Jack: Sounds like a crazy guy.

Cristina: That's what. There's the debate over this Wendingo thing. Like are these really people that. What is. Are these people? Do these people really believe that they got the spirit taking over them to kill an ether family which makes them a schizophrenic or are they lying and just. They want. They kill their family and they need.

Jack: An excuse, which is where the Wendingo comes in.

Cristina: Yeah. So I don't know, like in theory.

Jack: If you're in a place that's superstitious enough, you could get away with that.

Cristina: If you're. Yeah, I guess. But he didn't get away with that. And they've also. There was another case where just the person who takes care of the Wendingo problem got in trouble because he was killing the Wendigo, which is really. He was killing people.

Jack: So he was a serial killer.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Picked very specific people, killed them and said they were possessed by Wendingo.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah, that's. Wow.

Jack: That's a clever way. But that just goes back to the serial killer who was pretending he was hearing the voice of a dog.

Cristina: Yes, that's exactly what these cases reminded me of. Because that's what they were arguing. Like whether is he really hearing a demon talk to him saying kill these people or is he using that as excuse to kill these people?

Jack: He was the Son of Sam, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they were basically doing the Son.

Cristina: Of Sam shtick before he.

Jack: Before the son. Which case. That makes the Son of Sam the. The f****** copycat killer.

Cristina: Oh, maybe. But he wasn't eating people, so it wasn't the same type of crime he was committing.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: He was just shooting ladies.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: But claiming that the reason was.

Cristina: Was because of a demon dog.

Jack: Yeah, I was hearing demon dog.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: And thus I went ahead and did the crime.

Cristina: Yeah. So it might be the same case. I don't know. And then there's this other creature that's called the witchooge, which is a man eating creature that could also possess people. It's like an ancient giant animal in its natural form, I think. And then it goes into regular people.

Jack: Like an ancient giant animal. Like that physical creature.

Cristina: Like a spirit animal.

Jack: Forest spirit. Like Shinto.

Cristina: Yeah, like a giant spirit animal comes inside of Zelda.

Jack: Twilight Princess with the floating animal spirits that you gotta collect the gems from and keep them kind of in reality.

Cristina: I have no idea. I don't remember that. But yes. These giant spirit animals come inside you.

Jack: They come inside you they come inside you these giant spirit animals come inside.

Cristina: You youu can become. Oh, it's huge. By breaking a taboo or becoming too strong. I don't know what too strong means, but like maybe you work out too much and then you become now a man eating creature.

Jack: Out of curiosity, do you actually eat people or you beat the s*** out of them is a common trait. Beating the s*** out of them?

Cristina: No, it's eating so they don't beat.

Jack: The s*** out of people.

Cristina: No, I mean, maybe, I don't know. But it seeks to eat people.

Jack: Interesting. Have they seen people? Have they seen people possessed by this? Are there stories of people?

Cristina: There's just stories of people because it's.

Jack: Possible that the steroids of that time were causing roid rage. And that's what they mean by too strong.

Cristina: Too strong? Yeah.

Jack: Then you're having blind rages over dumb s*** and just beating the s*** out.

Cristina: Of people to death, fighting them. And then they're like, ah, he's a wetchug. Well, you want to hear about the taboos that you shouldn't break?

Jack: I guess it could be witch hudge. So long as there's a GE at the end, which Hudge. Either way it works.

Cristina: You want to hear about the taboos yet you should not break.

Jack: Taboos for what? For the witch. Huge.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: For the witch Hudge.

Cristina: Yes, go for it. There's probably a bunch, but three of them. A person that has that takes gets a picture of them with a flash. I guess that flash is a taboo. If you get a picture of you taken with a flash is one listening to music made of stretched string like a guitar and eating meat with fly eggs in it. Don't break those taboos.

Jack: And that's it. You don't become a witchage.

Cristina: Yes, that and don't become too strong.

Jack: Guess that's it for working Out?

Cristina: Yes. This creature seeks out to eat people and attempts to lure them away by being cunning. I don't know what the cunningness is.

Jack: Smart. Clever.

Cristina: No, I. I know that I don't know what they use to be cunning.

Jack: Oh.

Cristina: Like what? How do. Like, do they. If it's a child, the cunning would be like, here's candy. Come with me. I'm not gonna eat you.

Jack: So Ted Bundy was a wet judge, is he?

Cristina: Mmm. Oh, and some of these things, the true form of it is made out of ice and it's very strong and you can kill it by throwing it on campfire and you keep it there overnight and then it melts away and then you're done with the problem.

Jack: So they are ice monsters.

Cristina: Yeah. I guess you become an ice monster eventually, is what's happening. Not the true form, because the true form, I think, is the spirit creature thing.

Jack: So a wendingo and a witch are exactly the same thing? Essentially, yeah. Most likely regional derivatives of each other.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But they all involve getting a person who turns into them.

Cristina: Yes. To turn into them. Yep.

Jack: Do they have rules for entry or anything of that nature? Do you have to, like, let them in?

Cristina: No, I think you just gotta be a really bad person. Or. I don't. The first one, I don't know. The second one, it sounds like becoming too strong.

Jack: This worked out too much. And now I'm a monster.

Cristina: Yeah. Oh. I guess the first one might be like being too greedy for some reason or it turns you into being too greedy. I'm not really sure what comes first.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Are you greedy beforehand or not? I don't know. But being a weshog is considered a curse and a punishment. So I guess that is if you're bad, you're gonna be cursed and then you're gonna want to eat people. I guess some werewolf stories are like that too. It's just a curse put on you sometimes. Alright, we're running out of time. What do you think of all that information?

Jack: I think that's pretty interesting. I think that that holds makes a pretty good argument for a werewolf, vampire, Chupacabra, the Win Dingo and the Wetchudge to be kind of different people's tales of the same creature, whether it be different eras in time or different regions giving it different names, but referring to the same thing. It's sort of the God problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like if you're Islamic, you say Allah. If you are Christian, you say Jehovah. But if I showed you a picture of the one true God both of, and you Some, for whatever reason, knew exactly what he looked like. Both groups would aim at the same thing. Yeah, I think it's that case.

Cristina: It could be.

Jack: I think that if everybody knew for a fact what you mean when you say vampire or wetchudge or werewolf or win dingo or chupacabra, and I brought up a single photo of a shapeshifter and you just happen to know for a fact what these creatures look like. You'd all aim at the one picture I'm holding and realize, oh, f***, we were talking about the same thing.

Cristina: Yeah. It's interesting that some shapeshifters like to be animals over human, though. The vampire is the only form that it's like. It prefers being human, I guess, in a way. Maybe the Wendigle too. I'm not sure.

Jack: Here's an interesting point that I'll make before we get out of here, which is the possibility that the intellectual level of the creature allows for a more complex transformation. So that if you can have the capacity of a person, you are a particularly intelligent shapeshifter. You can imitate a human.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Thus you turn into a vampire if you are more animalistic, but can sort of get there. Maybe all their goals is trying to get to the human where they could just blend in to the best creature to eat.

Cristina: Yes. The whole thing is to shapeshift into their meal so it can be easier for them to get closer to their meal.

Jack: Exactly.

Cristina: Except for the werewolf fails the most, I guess.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: But they are able to turn into a creature that's around their food.

Jack: Yes. So the idea is always the blend in. Not necessarily to imitate their food, but to blend into their environment so their food doesn't know they're there.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And in the case of a werewolf, they don't have the complexity to take this s*** because I guess you have to also behave the part.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So maybe you have the capacity to become a human, but you have to be able to imitate a human brain because we're assuming you're an anomalous being. Otherwise.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You're understand, your quote, brain, unquote, is a different thing. And so you imitate a human perfectly, then you behave like a human. If you can imitate a superhuman, you are a vampire. There are way less of that than there are werewolves. Way more werewolves. Because you can do that easier because you're not fully human looking, you're more animalistic looking. It takes less effort than becoming a human. Yeah, well, becoming a human takes less effort than looking like a vampire. So it's really about capacity.

Cristina: What? Yes.

Jack: And like a wendingo and a wet church are way down the totem pole down there with like werewolves. Werewolves, yeah, yeah, they're down there with those creatures. Yeah, same thing. While the Chupacabra is the furthest thing, it's nothing like a human.

Cristina: No.

Jack: It's notably a weird creature.

Cristina: Yeah, it looks like it's trying to be too much creatures at once, kind of.

Jack: Then so does the werewolf.

Cristina: Looks like it's just being wants to be a werewolf, doesn't it?

Jack: Well, a werewolf isn't a f****** thing. A werewolf is a creature that looks like a combination of a wolf and a human.

Cristina: Oh, okay, okay, I see.

Jack: So the idea here would be that maybe when we're talking about shape shifters, we're not just talking about one thing, although we kind of are. We're talking about sort of the difference between a Chihuahua, a Rottweiler, a greyhound. Like maybe there are different kinds of shape shifters. They're all the same general thing. Like I can call every animal. I just said a dog. Yes, but they're also different kinds of dogs. Yes. Different species within the same branch thing or not different species, different races of the same species.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So maybe there are different races within the same species of shapeshifter, which allows for more complicated transformation in the future.

Cristina: I would like to go on to that. Hopefully we'll get there eventually. Of talking about the different species of shape shifts shifters.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: But just get, I would like to stick to the blood drinking though.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Because there's a million shapeshifters. Of course, yeah.

Jack: There's even animals that drink blood.

Cristina: There's animals. Oh yeah.

Jack: There's normal animals that drink blood.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That seems to be a trait which tells us there might be creatures that exist in nature that are already sort of connected.

Jack: Two shapeshifters. They might have a branching like DNA strand or something.

Cristina: Maybe. Fascinating, interesting. Okay.

Jack: But it'll. It'll be way easier when we finally capture this werewolf we've been hunting down and we can bring that f***** in, put him in a cage, probably next to the Reptilians, Cause f*** them, send that b**** to Mars. Now that we've built that whole study facility up there. So we'll send that to Mars with the rest of the f****** things we've got up there and we'll run some experiments and find out what we're gonna do with that. Well, we find out, maybe we can get it just to turn into something that doesn't look like a werewolf, but we're closing in. Yeah, closing in. The sub humans are out there doing their job.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: Anyways, if you guys enjoy this topic, there are millions of this sort on the show. You can find many episodes where we're discussing things of this nature, a bunch of different types of creat. Previous, more primitive versions of this conversation. We don't touch on the same things that we touched on here, but we kind of brush around the different subject matters, including the Chupacabra, shapeshifters and things of other things and shapes like reptilians and whatnot, even alien creatures who might potentially be the Chupacabra in the first place. To find those episodes, you guys can find them on the official website, greythoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review the show.

Cristina: Let someone who might like the show know about it.

Jack: Yes, the power of word of mouth is the greatest power in the whole wide world. And that makes you a superhero, technically speaking.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Podcast. Take nothing personal, and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: That's how they sounded like. Okay, you know how they sound like I've heard it. I don't know what's happening there. I mean, I guess that's what. Yes. I remember as a child listening to my parents.

Jack: And that's what it sounded like. Yeah, just gibberish. Like you didn't understand s***.

Cristina: Not that, like, if you're bored and you don't, you're not really paying attention, but you have to pay attention because maybe you did something bad or whatever, and they're just trying to explain something.

Jack: And you're like, somehow I doubt there was a moment in your life in which you did something bad.

Cristina: The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 110: Cannibal Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, comedy, cannibal, werewolf, creepy, scary, just conversation, the just conversation podcast, legend, urban legend, mythology, science, folklore

Are there still cannibals in the world? Do they eat people on thanksgiving? A Thanksgiving Special discussing human meat and cannibal dishes throughout history.

 Story:
On this very special episode, the clones discuss all the possible ways to have family and friends over for dinner and situations throughout history in which cannibalism was either needed for survival or desired. From Jamestown to Indigenous Australians and more. The truth about Cannibalism is as surprising as what the duo discover human meat tastes like. All that and more on this episode of Just Conversation.

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!

Topics Discussed

  • Jamestown Settlement
  • Christopher Columbus
  • Cannibalism
  • Jane Doe’s Body
  • Batman vs Green Arrow
  • Agreed Cannibalism
  • Jeffrey Dahmer
  • The Taste of Human
  • Mummy Medicine
  • Cannibal Animals
  • Wendigo

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Jack: With Thanksgiving coming and it being the era of COVID many of us are losing family members and loved ones. So we're not gonna have them all at the table. But have you ever wondered if it's possible for you to still have your deceased family for dinner? I mean, literally, have you ever wondered if you can literally eat your deceased family for dinner? Well, on this episode, we're gonna find out if that's all. That and more, coming up on Just Conversation.

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes, and this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on the topics we discuss. So be sure to go get somebody. You don't need to know who they are. You could just go outside and find someone. You know, it's easy, man.

Cristina: You make it sound like it's something bad, though, that they're about to do.

Jack: Yeah, it's totally easy. Yeah. You kidnap them, you tie them up, you put them in chains, you put them on a boat, you sail over to where the podcast is being showcased. You let them off the boat, you tell them you're going to watch this.

Cristina: Why is there a boat involved?

Jack: Why wouldn't there be a boat involved?

Cristina: You're going. Are you sailing to the place and then sailing back from the place that.

Jack: You know, now they just stay there. You're not taking. Why would you go get them, do a whole boat ride, and then be like, well, I was just your ride here. Now I'm taking. No. Now you own them.

Cristina: No. Yeah, but I mean, you're leaving your home on a boat to them and then bringing them back to your home on a boat.

Jack: No, you're not bringing them to your home. You're just getting them to take them to where the show is being aired.

Cristina: Oh. Which is not their home.

Jack: Which is not your home there.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah. Now you own a bunch of people.

Cristina: Yes. That sounds just. That sounds right. Right.

Jack: Sounds right. No. Fair enough. We've established in the past that Thanksgiving seemingly had nothing to do with the slaves or pilgrims or natives. Thanksgiving has nothing to do with anything. We thought it had anything to do with.

Cristina: It has to do with the lizard people.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Remember?

Jack: But that's none of the other stuff that's none of the intuitive. It was pilgrims who brought slaves and enslaved natives and like made white people somehow.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Because here's the idea, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they come from Europe, the conquistadores. Presumably one of the non British parts of Europe, because that was just the original settlers that came avoiding England. But we have like the. The Spaniards and those douchebags traveling the coast. They're not the coasty islands. Kidnapping people and dropping them off on different islands. Sprinkling black people on the islands here. Some for you and some for you. And then the black people mixing with the natives that were there at the same time that the. That the span Spaniards and the Portuguese and the Italians were f****** all of them. So there's like.

Cristina: Can I say something about the Spaniards, though?

Jack: What?

Cristina: That their queen was like, you can't enslave anyone unless they're cannibals. And then they're like, they're cannibals. And then.

Jack: No f****** way. Really?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah, they said they're all cannibals.

Cristina: Of course. Like. Yep, these people are cannibals. We're witnessing cannibalism everywhere we go. I guess we gotta enslave them.

Jack: So the queen. Hey, Bob. Yeah, Jeff? We can't put these people in cages. Why not? Because the queen said only if they're cannibals. Well, well, look, dude, don't you see them eating each other? Nah, dude. No, no, no, you're not understanding. Don't you see them eating each other? Ah, I see where you're coming from. Yeah, I see them meeting each other. You see, we have to enslave them. They're savages, all of them.

Cristina: Yep, that was Christopher Columbus there.

Jack: That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's all f***** because then we have the people who came from England and established that first settlement, Jamestown, and then they all ate each other. So, like, the f****** conquistadors were the cannibals, Technically speaking.

Cristina: But they're not the people from Jamestown, though. The British. The British people aren't the conquistadors.

Jack: Yeah, no, I'm saying that the original settlers aren't conquistadores. Well, actually, the conquistadores never really came to the United States.

Cristina: They just saw it. That's it. Or like, what? Where did they end up? Just on islands or something?

Jack: Christopher Columbus didn't ever land in what is now known in the United States as America. He landed in America. Not in the United States. South America.

Cristina: In South America, Yeah. Okay, that makes sense, because Spanish. Yes, yes.

Jack: The British landed in central, in the center of North America, and they spread out north, which is why we have such a US Canada thing going on.

Cristina: That's UK based. Yeah, well, Canada is French, so is that.

Jack: There was some touchy feely stuff going on there too. Yeah, there's a little bit of a joint stuff going, but that was more war related, I think.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: Yeah, I have no idea. I'm terrible at history. All of this is probably wrong.

Cristina: No, it's all facts.

Jack: See, here's the thing. Intuitively, all of this makes sense. Yes, The United States and Canada were definitely visited by the original settlers, which created New England, which is that Boston main eastern area and s***. Jamestown being the first settlement of people who turned out to be cannibals. So the white people are the cannibals, of which the Hispanic white people were like, we're gonna trap the cannibals. Which weren't the black people or the natives, but they arrested all of them anyways because the white people who were eating each other did have guns. And it's like, we're not gonna. With those people. We're gonna go with the people who don't have guns. The British.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Of course, they never even met the British. They just sailed through all the islands and landed in Mexico and then went south from there.

Cristina: And the thing with Jamestown, they finally found evidence, like physical evidence. Besides, I think they had like written letters from the time of what happened.

Jack: What, of the first of the cannibalism? Yeah, that winter. What was it? The. The winter of the fight of 1702 or some s*** like that.

Cristina: From 1609 to 1610. What year did you say?

Jack: I thought it was like 17. I was a whole hundred years off. I was a whole hundred years too early.

Cristina: Yeah, I mean, too late late. Yeah, Yeah.

Jack: I was 200. I was 100 years too late.

Cristina: Close enough, but yeah, doing. Yes, the winter was really bad because there's the Indians. They were trying to do business with different Indians and one of the Indians were like, nah, you can't do that, and started killing them off every time they saw them.

Jack: But to my understanding, there were two settlements already established and they had a trade route established with one of those other white settlements.

Cristina: But the Indians were picking them off.

Jack: So they couldn't trade with the other white settlement.

Cristina: Nah.

Jack: So their foods, because they didn't have the food supply, they had the materials.

Cristina: Food supply coming on a ship. And that ship ended up crashing on another island and they had to fix that ship to come Back, and that took a long time.

Jack: And out of about 500 people, there were 50 left, right? Something like a crazy number like that.

Cristina: Yeah. They lost like 80 to 90% of their people. 500 people lived there before all of them died. Well, not all, but a lot of them died and then ended up with freaking 60 people.

Jack: Yep. So the white people were the. The cannibals all along?

Cristina: Yeah, but they didn't, like, just become cannibals overnight.

Jack: I'm sure it was like an episode of south park, the one where they were trapped in that snowstorm. And it was only like 20 minutes before they decided who they had to eat because they couldn't go out.

Cristina: No, they. Well, in the letters they were. They mentioned that they went. They ate their horses first, then they ate dogs and cats. Then they got weird and started trying to eat leather and things like that. Rats, anything, even roots. But those people died. The ones that went into the woods to try to look for stuff died because of the Indians.

Jack: So the Indians were holding them pretty much captive in their own town.

Cristina: Yep. So they had to get desperate. Someone did try to. I think he killed his pregnant wife to eat her, and they killed him.

Jack: But then they ended up eating them anyways.

Cristina: Well, there's a big no no in cannibalism. You could eat a person as long as they're already dead. You eat the person before they're dead, you're going to jail for life.

Jack: And where does this rule apply in.

Cristina: These kind of situations? And like, if you're starving, if you, like, crash, you're in a plane crash, and there's a few survivals, you can't just pick the weak person to eat. You have to wait for that weak person to die, and then you can eat him, and then you won't get in trou.

Jack: Oh, that's easy. Starve the weak person out, use the supplies for everybody else.

Cristina: As long as everyone, I guess, keeps with the story. And there's no proof that you guys didn't starve him out.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: If you, like, if they find that he was starved out and that's why he died, then it looks like murder.

Jack: Well, it's not murder, but to the.

Cristina: Law, it is murder.

Jack: Does it say specifically you can't starve the person out?

Cristina: I'm pretty sure because it will still be murder. Yeah.

Jack: No, it's not.

Cristina: Murder is not murder.

Jack: You're not choosing to starve them. You're choosing to feed you. And they don't have the capacity to feed themselves over you.

Cristina: I don't know, I don't.

Jack: I could plead this easily in court.

Cristina: Wrong.

Jack: I could plead this easily in court. Yeah. Look, there was this much food, and it belonged to whoever can acquire the food, which was me. So he wasn't good enough to beat me for it. I'd have no obligation to share. It's my food.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I'm American. How many people in the United States starve regularly? Because we don't. So don't bring me this s***. I was doing the capitalistic s*** I'm used to, and I was surviving.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then he died. But I just happened to run out of food around the time he died, so I f****** ate him. Sue me for being a capitalist, then. Go ahead and sue all the capitalists.

Cristina: You should wait a little before you eat him, just to be like, I was, like, in the brink of death before I decided to eat him. I mean, you probably were. Because the food you were eating was probably not enough to fill you up anyway. So maybe you can get away with that. I don't know.

Jack: The advantage is that, man, how the f*** did they eat so many people? Because the problem is that it's cold as f*** outside. I mean, they didn't eat a lot.

Cristina: Well, we don't know if they ate a lot of people. We just know they got so desperate that in the end, eventually some of them got Ian.

Jack: Well, here's the thing. There is snow outside. It's cold as s*** outside. Was a winter. You could preserve the body. Yeah, leave the body outside in the cold. The cold will preserve the body.

Cristina: But they didn't. Like, this is the first time they found a skull from a dead body that's been eaten. So that's why I don't think it's been a bunch of people, because where are all those bodies that were eaten?

Jack: They used the bones to make other.

Cristina: Things, and those things were never found.

Jack: Those things are just clothing.

Cristina: They sold it to the Indians.

Jack: Yeah, man. They use it as weapons to escape Jamestown once the winter was over.

Cristina: Ah. And then no one would know.

Jack: Nobody would know. They were walking in bone armor.

Cristina: Yeah. What? That's kind of badass bone armor. No one would have messed with them.

Jack: Nobody's gonna mess with them. The Indians are like, we thought we were hardcore. These guys came wearing their homies.

Cristina: That's so awful. But who knows what happened? Like, maybe.

Jack: So what happened when they found this skull?

Cristina: They looked to see how this person died. Who was this person? What they found was. It was a girl, and they named her Jane.

Jack: For Jane Doe.

Cristina: Yes. Of Course for Jane Doe, they think she was 14. They found only a part of her skull and chin bone on her skull. There was multiple chops and cut marks. They know she was dead before they decided to cut her up for food. But after that crazy storm, that crazy winter happened, the new person came with their ship and the supplies and everyone was saved. And then he had everyone clean up the mess that was there of the bodies and stuff. And that's probably how they found her skull in a garbage can or whatever. Like a.

Jack: There's. That's probably why they don't find all the other bones.

Cristina: Because he cleaned them up because of the cleanup. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. They could be just buried.

Jack: The bones they did find are the ones that they missed in the cleanup.

Cristina: Mmm. Maybe there's proof that we were cannibals once upon a time. Or at least the H*** sapiens.

Jack: I'm sure we were very cannibalistic a lot of the time.

Cristina: A lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. But now it's. It's a no, no. It's a no, no, don't eat people. Especially if they're still alive. Oh, there are some instances where people did. Are eating. They're really eating people who are still alive. And that's pretty horrifying.

Jack: Like the Green Arrow who ate his dad.

Cristina: His dad must have killed himself before he let his son eat him. He couldn't be like, yes, just eat me while I sit here on this boat. Take my arm and bite it.

Jack: How thug though, that would be amazing.

Cristina: But like, okay, he dies on the boat and he has to eat him, but he has to eat him cold like that. Like, no warming up the food.

Jack: That's nuts, right? How did he do it?

Cristina: Yeah, because with cannibalism there's a lot of diseases you can get from that. A lot of brain rottening stuff could happen. Is he okay?

Jack: I don't know, man. Maybe he has hella brain damage.

Cristina: Oh my God.

Jack: Maybe he has hella brain damage and so does Bruce Wayne. He's just a kid with PTSD harassing a bunch of people.

Cristina: Yeah, but it can't be worse. Than what?

Jack: The Arrow has literal brain degradation because of eating human flesh. Nevertheless, the trauma of it having like Bruce Wayne stores bit s*** next to f****** Arrow.

Cristina: Yes. That is some crazy stuff. Like what happened there. What happened? I don't know. Before people were burying people or burning the bodies or stuff. They think that people were eating the dead bodies so the wild animals couldn't get to the bodies. That's interesting solution to that problem, because if they just left the dead bodies there, the animal would come and eat that and then will eat them or whatever, if it was that type of situation.

Jack: That's interesting. There are tribes that use bones as cup. Like the top of a skull as cups and stuff. So I'm assuming we were like that in the past, where we would just eat the people and use their bones for resources.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You know, make knives and weapons to hunt other creatures with and crap like that.

Cristina: And there's some magic to it, too. Like where people believe they're getting something from eating this dead person, Whether it's someone that they love or an enemy from the. You know, from the enemy tribe or whatever. If they eat them, they get something. I don't know what it is. Like some type of thing, I guess, their power or whatever. Like, if they were super strong and I killed him, now I'm gonna eat him, now I'm gonna be super strong or something like that.

Jack: He is inside of me.

Cristina: Yeah. And when it comes to loved ones, I'm not really sure, but, yeah, they think they're getting a part of something from their loved ones.

Jack: Maybe it's like when Piccolo fused with Nails and Kami. It's like we are three but one.

Cristina: That's a lot of fusing. Yes. Maybe they're hoping to be like Piccolo. Did he become stronger, though?

Jack: Yeah, that was the whole point.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: The goal was, we're gonna merge our strength.

Cristina: But he didn't eat them, did he?

Jack: I mean, it depends what you think is happening.

Cristina: What does it look like it's happening?

Jack: I don't know. But how would they eat? Like, I'm assuming, like, put it in his mouth. Do you think that's eating? But he's like this whole other alien.

Cristina: Yeah. So. Well, what. How does that. Have you ever seen Piccolo eat?

Jack: If there's. If they are cells, he ate them.

Cristina: If they are cells, Cells merge. Oh, okay.

Jack: By just squeezing into one another. Piccolo did that.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Cannibal, I mean, but they were okay with that.

Jack: So it was volunteer work.

Cristina: Yeah. Are they alive?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Ooh, he crossed the line. He goes to jail forever.

Jack: But they agreed to it still.

Cristina: He goes to jail forever.

Jack: Why? The law is against that, too, Even if the other person agrees.

Cristina: Yeah. There's been cases where people agree, like, very strange cases. In Germany, there are a lot of cannibals. A lot. A lot of cannibals. Actually, there's a lot of cannibals everywhere in Germany. But in Germany, the most. One of the most Recent ones said that There were over 800 active cannibals in Germany.

Jack: Like today?

Cristina: Like today. Well, that was in 2006, but that's not that long ago. Armin Muse, he was a computer repair technician, and he killed and ate his. A voluntary victim who he met online, and he, I think, chopped off his p****. And they were gonna eat the p**** together, but he killed the guy anyway. And then he ate it. I think that's how I went.

Jack: Why didn't he eat the p**** with the guy?

Cristina: He got greedy. I don't know.

Jack: It's like, only I get to eat your p****. You don't get to eat your p****.

Cristina: It's not big enough for the both of us. I don't know.

Jack: That'd be funny.

Cristina: We don't know what the situation. But that guy, I don't know. I guess that's not the same because he ended up killing him, so. But if he stayed alive and they both ate his p****, would that be okay?

Jack: I don't know. Because at that point, you're volunteering for it.

Cristina: What a weird situation.

Jack: Like, you just ate your d***. Yeah, that's fine. I guess you're okay with it. He wasn't okay with dying. He was okay with eating his own d***.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, my gosh. And you think, oh, and man, there's so many weird situations because you think it's just cannibals just eating because you're starving. That's most of the world. It's just, we're starving. We need to eat. We're gonna eat dead people or people. Sometimes it's alive people.

Jack: Right. But then you come across a guy who's like, but, man, you want to try my d***?

Cristina: Yes. Yes. And there was a. In the uk, there was a British model called Anthony Marley who killed and partially ate his lover. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he was like. He wanted to break up with him, and he was so heartbroken, he murdered him. And then, I don't know. Then he. He removed a section of his leg and began cooking it. And then he stumbled into a neighbor and asked for the police to be called. So I'm not sure if he actually got to eating his lover, but he did kill him and cook a part of him.

Jack: Fantastic. Maybe between the time the cop got there, he ate some of it.

Cristina: Oh, maybe. And that was in 2008. That's not that long ago. Okay. Jeffrey Dahmer, after one of his victims ran away from him and got help he needed, the police went to his apartment and found two human hearts and an entire torso and the bag full of human lungs from all his victims, so. And probably other stuff, too, because. Yep.

Jack: Now, Jeffrey Dahmer is a cannibal. Yes, he was eating them for fast.

Cristina: Yes, he was eating them. Yeah. He. He stated that he planned to consume all the body parts over the next few weeks. So that's a lot of body parts to eat in a. In a few weeks. But I guess he could. I mean, freeze them all and.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Slowly eat them all.

Jack: Fridges were a thing.

Cristina: Yeah. That was in 1992.

Jack: Jeffrey Dahmer.

Cristina: You don't remember that guy?

Jack: I remember the name.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. Oh. And there's some weird law in England. I don't know if it's still like this, but in 1998, there was this guy named Rick Gibson who kept eating human parts in public just because there was no law against it.

Jack: How did he get the human parts?

Cristina: I have no idea, but I guess it was in a somehow legal way that they couldn't arrest him. So I don't know. But he did it, like, three times, and I think in, like, two of the situations. I'm not sure if all of them. It was testicles.

Jack: He was just eating testicles?

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: How did the people know those were human testicles?

Cristina: I don't know. I guess they tested out what he didn't eat and found that it was human testicles.

Jack: Wait, what?

Cristina: They tested the meat that he had, like, if he didn't eat at all. I don't know the story behind that, but it was human testicles. I mean, maybe he could have faked it, but that's a strange thing, that they didn't have rules. I don't know if they don't have rules now or they do. Maybe they do. And there was a reporter in 1931 for the New York Times that ate meat and human meat. He got a volunteer from a hospital to donate him. So maybe it's like that from donated hospital human meat. But he made a whole review about how it tastes and how.

Jack: With that. How did he, like, review it?

Cristina: How did he. He wrote about it. He cooked it and ate it, and then he wrote.

Jack: Yeah, but what he say?

Cristina: He said that it tasted like. The closest thing he could. The closest meat it tasted like was veal. He said it was good and it tastes sort of like veal.

Jack: Interesting. How'd he cook it?

Cristina: He roasted the piece of meat, and he wrote a whole article that you could probably read somewhere online if you want to hear the whole, like, comparison. To what it was. But he said it was tender and in the color, texture, smell as well as taste, it was like veal. So if you want to know what humans taste like, have some veal.

Jack: But he said the closest. He didn't say they're similar.

Cristina: Yeah, he didn't say that. It was like a professional would know that it's not veal, but a regular person would probably think it's veal.

Jack: You think it was that close to veal?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You don't just think it's so foreign that the closest comparison is veal, even if it's not like veal.

Cristina: I'll just read the a little bit of sentence. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitivity could distinguish it from veal. So it sounds like no one could really tell, except unless you're like the best wine taster, then you can taste that. This is expensive wine. So it could be a lie. It's probably a lie.

Jack: Yeah. Because wine people can't tell the difference.

Cristina: That's why I compared it to wine. Like, yeah, they say this, but, you.

Jack: Know, they can't f****** tell the difference.

Cristina: So he might just be. It might be all talk.

Jack: So interesting, Interesting.

Cristina: But I don't know, it might really taste like veal. There are people who suffer from mental illness where cannibalism isn't just cannibalism, but it's for sexual pleasure. Which examples are would be Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish.

Jack: Which was sexual?

Cristina: Yes, it was sexual. It wasn't just imma eat this person. Well, in some places in the world, cannibalism is still normal, like, allowed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But it has to be the dead. I think it's not. You could kill someone and then eat them type of thing. Unless it's through war, I think that's okay.

Jack: So you can eat the people you've killed at war?

Cristina: Yeah, because it's like a trophy dinner. Krawoa tribe of southeastern Papua is like one of the last surviving tribes that still engage in cannibalism. The last victim that they know was from 2012. They still eat people. A tribe in New Zealand called the Mori, they kill and eat people, though anyone that's not from there, I guess they will just kill and eat people.

Jack: From where?

Cristina: From New Zealand.

Jack: New Zealand?

Cristina: Yeah. Yes. A French explorer and 26 members of his crew were killed and eaten by them.

Jack: When Was that?

Cristina: In June 1772 in Melanesia. Some places still have Cannibalism. The New Guinea Islands, I think that's a pretty dangerous set of islands with cannibals. Pretty sure. Like the Fuji island, which is nicknamed the Cannibal Islands. That's part of that area where all of that's happening. They're just nicknamed cannibals.

Jack: So Australia was infested with a bunch of cannibalistic, crazed people who were offed by a bunch of elitist white people who took over the area.

Cristina: They could have the same story, though. Of the Spain, the Spanish.

Jack: How do we know there are no colored people in Australia? Like, there are colored people, but not like.

Cristina: No, I mean, like the Spanish people said they're cannibals, so now we can slave them.

Jack: Aren't we still claiming there's cannibals now?

Cristina: Yes, actually. But that gives them the excuse to kill them. Because you're saying they're killing them off.

Jack: No, I'm saying Australia was not a white place until a bunch of white people killed all the people over there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Which were indigenous cannibals.

Cristina: But are they using the excuse that they're cannibals to kill them?

Jack: To which I say all the surrounding islands are filled with cannibals.

Cristina: Those are probably the real cannibals. Then, like, they lied and said, these are the cannibals. Let's get rid of them and then avoid the actual cannibals.

Jack: So you think there was an Australia, the island surrounded by a bunch of cannibalistic islands, but Australia, the bigger landmass, was somehow not filled with cannibals.

Cristina: I'm just saying that they could have just used that excuse to take over the land.

Jack: But how, in that situation, how would Australia have been the one and only, if not the main cannibal, like, hub?

Cristina: Because those other islands, like, they totally ignore those cannibals. Like, if cannibalism was a real problem and they were only doing it to get rid of the cannibals, why? I don't think they were doing it.

Jack: To kill, to get rid of the cannibals. I don't think it was like, we're going out there to get rid of Can. This is like when we're gonna go in the future and give everybody democracy. No, no, no. We're gonna get rid of all the cannibals in the world. Like, that wasn't their goal. They were like, hey, here's an island we want. Hey. But we can't kill them. But they're all cannibals, so we Can.

Cristina: Yes, yes, maybe. But they're still surrounded by cannibals. They're still surrounded in Tibet. They eat flesh pills because they believe it gives them powers when they consume Brahmin flesh. And I think Brahmin is the priest of that area or teacher or whatever of the Buddhism.

Jack: Brahmin, that's like their.

Cristina: I think that's another word for teacher or priest or, you know.

Jack: Okay, that's cool.

Cristina: So they eat the flesh of them. They put in pills and eat that for powers. In Europe, though, once upon a time, in the 16th, 16th century, they were eating mummies, or at least that's what they thought they were eating because they thought it had. The mummies gave them powers, kind of like also keeping them young and whatever. They sold them as medicine, the mummies. It was Egyptian mummies that they thought they were buying to. As medicine to solve, I guess, random stuff.

Jack: Random stuff. Like what?

Cristina: Well, one of the things I don't know of all the reasons, but, like, it will stop bleeding.

Jack: Eating a mummy stops bleeding. They thought bleeding was like a disease.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know how they maybe, like, it'll make you bleed less or stop bleeding quicker or something. If you have a little bit mummy.

Jack: In you or you consume the mummy and you grow, you get the power to grow. Band aids.

Cristina: Yes. It was sold as powder. Mummy powder. They were eating mummy powder, or they thought I should be clear because it turned out that they were just eating slaves. People were killing their slaves and selling it as mummy powder, and then that fat died.

Jack: Okay, that sounds legit.

Cristina: Yeah. Once they found that out, they're like, oh, no, I rather be eating mummy than new newly killed person. It's so wrong. Both are so wrong. Yes. Yeah. So ridiculous. You would pay who knows how much for this mummy powder, but for this regular human powder. No, it's so. It's so awful in many ways. Besides humans that eat humans, there's plenty of animals that eat themselves, I guess, in a way. Like. Well, you know about the spider one, right?

Jack: What did the. The father eats the. Or the babies eat the mother. There you go.

Cristina: That's probably a thing. But that the mother will usually eat the father.

Jack: Okay. And then she explodes with her babies.

Cristina: Yes, yes. Those babies. Yeah. The reason she eats her mate is because they get. The babies are 20% larger and survive 50% longer than a baby that the parents didn't eat the mommy didn't eat the daddy. When there's a creepy one where there's the sand tiger sharks, they eat the other like if there's. The mommy's pregnant with more than one baby, it would eat the other baby.

Jack: How?

Cristina: I don't know. I guess they can still eat in the womb.

Jack: I don't understand how that would even, like, work. You're gonna eat something inside of you already.

Cristina: The mom's not eating the baby. The baby. One of them is eating the other.

Jack: Oh, I got you.

Cristina: Yes, that makes more sense. But that happens. And chimps and great apes eat each other for survival and stuff. Or for sometimes even for rebellion.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Kind of like the human reasons. Yeah, human reasons.

Jack: Yeah, it's all the same.

Cristina: Yeah. And your favorite hippopotamus, that will eat whatever the f***.

Jack: They're not even meat eaters.

Cristina: No. But they need to eat a lot. So if there's not enough to eat, they're gonna find something to eat.

Jack: Yeah, they'll eat whatever. It doesn't really matter. And they don't always need it for substance either. Like, it's not about sustenance.

Cristina: I'm pretty sure it is. They just need to eat a lot. You just can't imagine how much they.

Jack: They don't always eat all the things they kill. Sometimes they will just kill. There's nothing crazier and more random than a hippo. Like a hyena is not as random as a hippo. A hippo is just a fast tank that has no. It's a f****** dolphin on land.

Cristina: But dolphins have rules.

Jack: They're kind of crazy. A dolphin will murder m*********** just because it could.

Cristina: Yes, but they wouldn't do that to their kind unless there was a reason.

Jack: Well, a hippo would. Because they're crazier.

Cristina: The hippo is more dangerous than the dolphin.

Jack: Yeah. Not intellect wise, but just overall viciousness.

Cristina: Just viciousness? Yep.

Jack: Like a hippo can totally be your homie and be like, we're cool. And also be like, except today I kill you.

Cristina: Except today. Oh, yeah. You can't trust those hippos. Okay. There's also tiger salamanders who eat when there's just. It's overcrowded. Their home is overcrowded. They'll just eat the other ones. They'll grow teeth to eat their siblings.

Jack: Wait, they don't normally have teeth.

Cristina: I don't think so. Do lizards. I mean, it's not a lizard. But salamanders have teeth. Well, they have teeth, but their teeth grow three times bigger than normal.

Jack: Okay, that makes sense.

Cristina: And then they are the ones that will eat their siblings. And then there's also the rabbits who eat their Babies, sometimes the stillborn or.

Jack: The weak baby hamsters do the same thing.

Cristina: Yes. And hamsters. Hamsters do that too. If it's too crowded, if it's. There's a lot of things. There's a lot of reasons why a hamster and I guess a rabbit would eat their baby, but a lot of the same reasons. Just if it's too crowded, if it's hungry, if it's stressed, all that stuff. There's also the praying mantis that kills her. The female kills the male.

Jack: Like a spider.

Cristina: Yes. But they can sometimes kill the male while they're doing it, in the middle of doing it and then. But they can still get pregnant, I guess, through that situation. Like.

Jack: Interesting. I know that ducks are sort of like that.

Cristina: Ducks.

Jack: Yeah. Well, except they're not really trying to. I mean, I guess they don't eat each other. I guess male ducks rape female ducks.

Cristina: Oh, I think. I think I heard of that. Yeah.

Jack: And sometimes they kill them.

Cristina: The male ducks. Yeah.

Jack: While raping her.

Cristina: Oh, well, that sucks to be a duck.

Jack: Sometimes a female dies and they continue like ducks do. Necrophilia. She'll be dead and they'll keep f****** her.

Cristina: Oh, but he won't eat her. But what if they are? We don't know that yet. We don't have that proof. But what if he does eat her afterwards? Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Duck eating meat.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: How would that duck rip off the other duck's feathers and then eat its flesh? With a beak. That's it.

Cristina: His clawy leg, like his foot. Frogs also eat one another. Large frogs like to eat smaller ones. So that's.

Jack: I think the same thing applies to many different kinds of lizards, that they'll just eat smaller of their own kind.

Cristina: And fish do that. Pretty sure they eat.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Never know with Fish World. Like, sometimes you'll be friends with this tiny guy who's gonna clean your back. Sometimes you'll eat that guy who I guess isn't gonna clean your back.

Jack: It's pretty much that. They're not worth anything to me.

Cristina: Yeah. I guess that's how you decide in the fish world who's gonna do something for you. There's also a chicken, which is not a normal thing, but it happens probably in farms because the overcrowdedness, the disease, the poor food and the water conditions. Chicken on chicken, violence in farms.

Jack: But they eat each other.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is it like feeding a chicken a chicken nugget?

Cristina: Probably worse than that. Probably worse than that. But it's not a common thing. I just think it probably is forced onto them, being in a farm type of situation. And sometimes they just. When they fight each other, I guess they would eat a piece of them, like by accident when they tore flesh, you know, in chicken fights and stuff like that. Yeah, like, what are they gonna do with that stuck meat on their beak?

Jack: It's like the guy whose ear Mike Tyson ate, did he eat it?

Cristina: He didn't eat it.

Jack: He took it home and cooked it and he ate it.

Cristina: No. He would have gotten in trouble for that. Maybe. Maybe he paid the guy. He's like, let me eat your ear. Yeah. How much can I pay you?

Jack: And so did Van Gogh, right? He cut his ear off and cooked it and ate it.

Cristina: All these people are eating ears, d*** it, because it tastes like veal.

Jack: Van Gogh was like, I want to know what veal tastes like. And then he ate his ear.

Cristina: He wants to know what veal tastes like. So he ate his ear.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: It is veal. That's cheap, right?

Jack: It's like a baby lamb.

Cristina: Baby lamb? No, calves. So that's a baby. Baby goat?

Jack: No, veal is a baby cow.

Cristina: Baby cow.

Jack: Wait, we taste like baby cows.

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: So I was thinking like, lamb this whole time. But that has a different name, right? Mm, that's weird. So different and squishy.

Cristina: Yep. But now you know what a baby cow tastes like and a human tastes like.

Jack: Ooh, interesting.

Cristina: What do you think of that, though? Do you remember how it tastes like veal, like, compared to beef or bison? Also, earwigs eat their mothers. Kind of like the spider too, I guess. And sometimes the parent devours their child. I guess it depends on the situation. I don't know, man. Earwigs are really so nightmarish. You've seen them, right?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: Oh, there you go.

Jack: What the f*** is that?

Cristina: That's an earwig. It is horrifying. I don't know.

Jack: Looks like a roach.

Cristina: It looks like a roach that could attack you from the back. It's got knives. It got. It's got a b*** scissor.

Jack: It's got a b*** scissor.

Cristina: B*** scissor. It's like it's gonna. There's gonna be a video of it carrying a knife, like in all those other videos. With a rat or whatever.

Jack: With the rat or the crab or some s***.

Cristina: Yeah, we're gonna see an earwig just holding a knife with. But also, snakes eat pieces of other snakes and even themselves.

Jack: Yes, the ouroboros.

Cristina: But you knew they were eating themselves too.

Jack: Sometimes they won't literally devour themselves in a way that they're digesting themselves, but they'll, like, put their tail in their mouth and just keep coiling in.

Cristina: But that's not the same, is it?

Jack: I don't know. How long can they be like that before they, like, pull themselves apart, you know?

Cristina: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Jack: So they have to be in that position so long their tail is digested, which seems unlikely.

Cristina: Why do you think they do that?

Jack: I have no idea. It's weird, right?

Cristina: Yeah. Because scientists don't even know. They think it might have something to do with overheating. I don't know how.

Jack: That they're trying to cool themselves down.

Cristina: Yeah. Oh, that may. Yeah. I guess you could picture him putting a part of himself to get it cold, I guess. Yep. There's also a bunch of. There's also some myths, legends, and folklore about cannibalism, which you probably have heard of. Some. Like, the most famous one, I guess, or not really. Just one of the many. Hanzo and Gretel.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Which is just an old lady who decides to eat some children.

Jack: Probably based on something true.

Cristina: Yeah. That's a Brother's Grimm story. There's a lot of cannibalism there. They call them man eaters, which, you know. Yeah. There's a creature called Wendingo that sounds really familiar. It's like a spirit that possesses humans or a human that humans could physically turn into. Like, transform into either a spirit going into a human or a human that turns into this thing and I guess they eat people, which could just explain cannibalism. Like, it's not a human. It's a spirit in that human making them eat people or this person. Like. But that's weird. The other way around of this person turns into this being after eating people. I wonder if it looks like a werewolf.

Jack: That's interesting, because if I remember a Wendingo being, like, a dog of some sort.

Cristina: What if it is? Oh, my gosh. Give me an image.

Jack: Oh, that looks very werewolfish to me. Get the f*** out of here.

Cristina: What? What?

Jack: What do you t. Come on. That's a. Tell me that's not a werewolf right there.

Cristina: Yeah. Also looks like that creature from the forest, from the.

Jack: The ritual.

Cristina: The ritual. Yep.

Jack: Loki's child.

Cristina: Yep. But who knows? Like, they could have thought that was a werewolf.

Jack: You know, it's interesting. The windingo.

Cristina: Yep. Wendingo. Oh, my gosh. What? Wendigo is another. Wendingo is like a werewolf, though, in that they were probably created to explain cannibalism but it's weird that they look so similar. I mean, I guess when you picture a monster, it's gonna look like similar in that it's a monster. I don't know.

Jack: To my understanding is mainly like some sort of werewolf looking thing.

Cristina: Yes. And they think humans turn into them. So that's very werewolf like.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Of a human turning. Yeah. I don't know. And then they eat humans.

Jack: Sounds about right.

Cristina: Yeah. So I don't know. Werewolf is a person that's a cannibal essentially.

Jack: Yeah. Wendingo and a werewolf are. No, not different by any means.

Cristina: No.

Jack: Except maybe the details of their appearance and the location. And the location maybe. Interesting that you would say that.

Cristina: Why? What is that?

Jack: Because this is the same problem we have with the Chupacabra, the vampire and the werewolf. Maybe the Windingo is just another f****** location here in the east, I mean in the west we got werewolf. You go really, really, really far north east of the planet and you get to vampires. You go south west of the planet and you land at the Chupacabra. Who says north east? England, Greenland. Not Greenland, but England, Scotland, Ireland. Area doesn't have the win Dingo an equivalent to the werewolf.

Cristina: I don't know. It's possible. We gotta find out more about the Windingo.

Jack: The Windingo.

Cristina: The Windingo. I like the name. I just like how similar though it is. It's the werewolf of somewhere else. But if it's the werewolf from here though, what if we.

Jack: That'd be weird.

Cristina: How Windingles here. I know, but we'll find out. We'll find all that out. And in 1846-47, there was a family that was crossing from one side of America to the other side for I think the Gold Rush or whatever it was called back then. I think it was that. I'm not 100% sure. And they think there was cannibalism in that party because it was a harsh. I think it was also a harsh winter like the other story we were talking about of Jamestown. And they were going through a supposed shortcut, except the guy never really went through it to make it clear for them. So it was kind of a lie maybe. And they just ended up having a miserable trip and a lot of them died and some of them probably the legend goes that they ate some of them. But I don't know if there's any physical proof, proof at all. But it could be like the Jamestown thing where there's at least letter evidence that yeah, there's cannibalism, but no Bones or anything to show it.

Jack: That's interesting. The letters of Jamestown say what?

Cristina: One of the letters was from the. I guess the temporary leader after their. They had a leader originally, of course, and I think he ran away or something, or he quit after things got tough. Oh, yeah. Wait. The original leader of Jamestown had to leave because he was wounded in an explosion. So he went back to England, and so they got a temporary leader, and he was writing about what was going on in Jamestown during the time, and he was talking about how desperate people got and how they were started off eating their pets and stuff and then ended up just eating anything they could find, whether it was a snake or a mouse, all that stuff.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: And he even said that some of the people ate their boots, shoes, and that the people who left the fort were killed by the warriors of the tribe that they felt like they were betrayed by or that felt like Jamestown people betray them because they were trying to do stuff with another tribe. Yeah, yeah. So he wrote all about all that. So there's probably a bunch of letters that he's written that you.

Jack: Who was he sending those letters to?

Cristina: Maybe it was just a record of it, so that when the new leader came, he would know, like, this is what happened. Maybe it was his diary. Who knows? Well, the Donner family, they were writing diaries. I don't think they were writing letters to anyone. I think they were just writing about their situation because they had nothing else better to do there.

Jack: They have letters?

Cristina: Yeah, pretty sure they had letters. I'm not sure if they were mailing them out or what was going on. I mean, they couldn't mail it out, but afterwards, maybe they were planning to. I don't know.

Jack: Mailing them the. Who.

Cristina: Other family members. It wasn't just one family. It was a bunch of families. It was like 30 people. It was a lot of people. But I guess a bunch of. This was normal of a bunch of groups of people from one side of the country would travel together to the other side of the country. And this was just one of the large groups that were going. Because you wouldn't just travel alone to the other side by yourself or anything. Yep. And some of the families through the trip, like, abandoned the trip because it's. This is a crazy trip.

Jack: Yeah. So they just, like, spread out.

Cristina: Yeah. Yep. And a few of them did make it to the end.

Jack: The most determined always make it.

Cristina: And I mentioned that in England law, you. If you kill someone for food, it's considered a crime, no matter what the circumstances. And there was A case, r. V. Dubly and Stevens, in which two men were found guilty for killing and eating a cabin boy while they were adrift in sea on a lifeboat. Kind of the same story of Arrow, except that his dad and the other guy was like, no, we'll die and you can eat us. These guys were like, nah, we're gonna kill this boy and eat him.

Jack: Survival.

Cristina: Yep. Yeah. So they die. They died. No. So they got in trouble for that. So. Yes. Don't eat people unless they die. That's what you gotta do.

Jack: Only eat the dead.

Cristina: Only eat the dead, then it's okay. But don't steal the dead. That's probably also a crime.

Jack: Grave Robin is a crime. Grave Robin and f****** the dead. Necrophilia.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. That's also a crime. What if you're doing it for magic?

Jack: Everybody should definitely go out and eat themselves a human. But make sure you don't kill them. Go wait at a hospital.

Cristina: What?

Jack: It's Covid era. Covid's everywhere. People are dying left and right. You just wait until they die. If you've got Covid, particularly, you're not gonna catch more Covid. So you can just go wait at a hospital and eat a dead COVID patient. And if you don't have Covid, you have to wait for one of the patients that are getting neglected because they don't have Covid to die. And then you eat them. There's people to eat for everybody.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know if you can do that, though. I know that reporter did it, but that was a while ago.

Jack: It should be possible. You should be able to go to a hospital and eat patient after they die.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Especially if they're homeless. They got no nothing to lose. Nobody's gonna care. Although I don't know why families of dead people care about their body. It's weird that we don't do more productive things with the bodies.

Cristina: Like make them into tattoo. No. What was it? No, that was just. If they have tattoos that you'd take that tattoo.

Jack: Or you could save their eyes.

Cristina: Or you could take their eyes. Oh, is there anything else you can take that wouldn't be so weird?

Jack: No, you just give some. Don't embalm the bodies and just give the fre. Freaking body to the earth to, like, give nutrients.

Cristina: You gotta do. Yes.

Jack: Bury them where you plant a tree. Let them become a tree.

Cristina: Stop. Stop believing in that whole thing of. What was it? The embalming.

Jack: Embalming fluid.

Cristina: That's a lie. That's a lie. That's like the rich people thinking mummies were gonna save them.

Jack: Yeah. Embalming fluid is dumb. And how we celebrate the death of people. Like, why are we being sorrowful? Yes, it sucks. But, like, rather than throw this gloomy a** thing, have a f****** party.

Cristina: Have a party.

Jack: Have a party in honor of the life. That was like.

Cristina: Some places do they get that have a party.

Jack: And everybody at the party eats their body.

Cristina: I don't know about that.

Jack: Why that person's gonna be inside everybody and in that same party as you eat the meat because you chop the person up and cook them. You also, if they have tattoos, have already chopped up the tattoos according to what each image is and, like, framed them after you've preserved them or whatever.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And so you put it so that people can take whichever ones they want.

Cristina: And then with what, Bard? Because I doubt you could eat the whole body if for some reason there's body parts left. You can still borrow birds bury. You still bury that part.

Jack: Yeah. You could turn them into a tree. Turn whatever body parts are left into a tree.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This is that we're starting. The new way to celebrate death.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: For Thanksgiving.

Cristina: For Thanksgiving.

Jack: Eat your loved ones with your family for Thanksgiving.

Cristina: Yes. Happy Thanksgiving.

Jack: Happy Thanksgiving. If you guys like this episode where we tell you how to eat your family and how other people in the past have eaten their families and friends.

Cristina: Now you know we taste like veal.

Jack: Now you know we taste like veal. And there's a previous Thanksgiving episode from last year you guys can check out. So go indulge in that Thanksgiving where you find out what Thanksgiving really is. And then you celebrate this new way we're teaching you about eating your family. Since you'll learn that what you already thought was a lie.

Cristina: Yes. Yes. Go learn about those lizard people.

Jack: Yeah. And you can find that on the official website. And you can find that on the official website. Greythoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts or on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or anywhere else you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, review it. Tell us in the review whether you plan to eat your family.

Cristina: And let someone who might like the show know about it.

Jack: Yes, let somebody who's interested in becoming a cannibal know about the show. Tell them about it. Tell them about Thanksgiving if they're gonna celebrate.

Cristina: Okay, this has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening Bye. I thought it was veal.

Jack: I thought it was veal as well.

Cristina: Mutton? I don't know. Is veal a baby lamb?

Jack: It's like, is veal baby beef or lamb? Veal is a meat of calves in contrast to the beef from older cattle. Veal can be produced from a calf of either sex and any bread. However, most veal comes from young males and dairy breeds. Blah, blah, blah. Generally, veal is more expensive than. Doesn't answer the f****** question.

Cristina: It sounds like it comes from cows.

Jack: It doesn't tell us what f****** baby lamb meat is. I thought that was veal.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister. With social media managed by Amber Black.