Rambling 116: Bloodsuckers

Are all blood sucking creatures shapeshifters or is there a more sinister hidden agenda by a large global organization at play? Unpacking Bloodsuckers and their possible origins.

Continuing their investigations into shapeshifters, Cristina befriends and bribes one of them by offering the lives of several Sub-Humans in exchange for information on others of its kind. Once the beans get spilled, the secrets revealed become greater than either of our two heroes could have ever anticipated. Find out what secrets were revealed and who is behind the creation of all these creature on this episode of Just Conversation.

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

• The Catholic Church
• Bloodsuckers
• Shapeshifters
• The Boogeyman
• El Cuco
• Monster Creation
• Witches

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

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+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Cristina: Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to. To get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner, so be sure to grab somebody and force them to listen to the show with you. There is no options in their lives.

Cristina: I thought that was the last year's thing. I thought we were doing a new thing this year.

Jack: Changed my mind.

Cristina: What, so you're gonna force people to listen to our show again?

Jack: Yes. They only have to do it once.

Cristina: Every time?

Jack: No, Just once.

Cristina: Once?

Jack: Yeah. This is mainly for new listeners.

Cristina: But how? Wait, so the new listener is gonna get a friend?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: That will also be a new listener?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: How would the new listener know they have to pause the show? Like, I thought it was something that they already knew to do because they were already listening?

Jack: I don't know. No, they just. Look, they're listening to the show, then they go make somebody listen.

Cristina: But then they're not a new listener.

Jack: They were when they heard this.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. And then that's it. And then the next time they hear you say it, to do that, they don't do it because they already. Then they're not a new listener. Once they've accomplished it. Once.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Once it's done. Once you're good.

Cristina: Okay. Okay. But for the whole memory thing, that's.

Jack: Every episode, or is that once that happens every episode? I guess.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Okay, just checking. I've been busy doing some Illuminati stuff, man.

Jack: You've been busy doing some Illuminati stuff?

Cristina: I've been investigating bloodsuckers. Like, we were talking about vampires and werewolves. I had to go look for more that must be in this family of transforming creatures that don't really have a shape, but they, you know, like, they transform and they drink blood. That's the two things. Mainly, that relates where I'm hoping that relates to all these creatures together. So I was stalking them, which stalking is more like I became friends with them and sacrificed some of our employees to get to know these guys. And I want to talk about them. The first friend I made, his name, I'm going to call him Leap upon, because his name is in German, and I don't know how to say it, it's like off hocker. But we'll call him Leap upon because that's what it means. And they call him that because he leaps upon people like on their back and they rips their throat out.

Jack: This is a bloodsucker?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Yes, yes. Well, he bites into their throat to drink their blood. So yeah, alright, so my friend Leapy doesn't have an actual form, or at least he doesn't let us see it. All we know is that he can shapeshift into animals and humans. He likes to tear the throats out of people. He likes beating into people's necks. That's his favorite spot.

Jack: For what?

Cristina: For blood, for power. I don't.

Jack: So he's not eating the neck, he's drinking the neck. Drinking the neck.

Cristina: That's what I'm assuming. They compare him to a vampire. So I assume that he's drinking blood from the vamp. From the person.

Jack: Yeah. But he doesn't identify as a vampire.

Cristina: No, no he doesn't. He can't be killed. And sunlight and church bells scare him like they do vampires. I don't know what, why they have that in common, but they do.

Jack: Spells scare vampires?

Cristina: Yes. In some stories.

Jack: I am unfamiliar with this.

Cristina: Yes. And the sunlight. You know about the sunlight? Yes, yes. Well, the. The leaper, Leapy is also afraid of sunlight. He likes to walk around abandoned roads in the dark of night, of course. And he likes to transform into dogs or saddle. Ladies. I wonder if he looks like a werewolf too. Like is that dog abnormally big?

Jack: The dog he turns into?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is the dog humanoid? Should be the question.

Cristina: Humanoid? Is that like the werewolf?

Jack: Yeah, like a big two legged hand having human eyes. Human eyes? Wolf cross looking thing with one leg.

Cristina: Missing because it's pretending to be a tail.

Jack: Not while standing upright. That's when it's running?

Cristina: Yeah, yeah.

Jack: When it's just standing upright, it's revealed itself.

Cristina: Yeah. It's crazy because whoever it's attacking on this lonely road can't see it. So how do they know? I mean, I guess some people have gotten away from it. As long as you run to a church, you'll be safe, I think.

Jack: As long as you run to a church?

Cristina: Yeah. Like you cross the line of whatever is the holy church place and the abandoned road or whatever you're traveling on. If it's chasing you down, I think it jumps on your back and it pulls you down, like gets heavier and heavier on your back. And if you make it though, it can't cross so you live.

Jack: Do you have to Be running from it or can you. Like, if you're in a car, is it going to break into the car?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Like, what. What extent are we looking at here?

Cristina: Yeah, I think you. You have to be walking. Think he just got to be walking this road alone.

Jack: So he's not like unbelievably fast where he could catch you in a car.

Cristina: Yeah. I wonder if there's some motorcycle accidents because he jumped on. He tried to jump on their back or whatever during that. That'd be crazy.

Jack: Like he'd need some accuracy for that.

Cristina: Maybe he has the speed of a dog. How fast is that?

Jack: Not faster than a bike.

Cristina: Not faster than a bike. Oh, how about a regular bike?

Jack: Like a bicycle? Yeah, I think, I think a bicycle could outrun a dog.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Then you're safe. Unless you're.

Jack: You gotta be like really going in though, on the bicycle.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: We're talking like fast, fast, like speed bike type s***.

Cristina: Yeah. But you won't know that it's chasing you until it's on your back. So.

Jack: Yeah, you wouldn't be driving like exuberantly quick.

Cristina: Yeah. So it'll get you. And then you're just gonna have this painful thing trying to suck the blood out of your neck until you cross to the church.

Jack: Seems s*****.

Cristina: Yeah. In Belgium, there's a hellhound that also does kind of the same thing. So it could be a different form of this creature, but they give it a different name because it's in a different place. So it could still be leapy hanging out over there, but they call him something else.

Jack: So you're telling me he himself is going to these places?

Cristina: Yeah. And he turns into a hellhound who stalks the roads and does the same thing over there that he does in Germany, which is ripping out people's necks. That's his favorite thing.

Jack: Like, what are the origins of this thing?

Cristina: I think vampires.

Jack: You think it's just a vampire origin. So he's basically like a legit shapeshifter.

Cristina: Yeah. Or like, I guess it's more to do with dead people than anything of what is happening with dead people. Are they really dead?

Jack: Are dead people really dead?

Cristina: Yeah, I think that's the fear of just, what if the dead person isn't really dead? And then all these stories come out of that.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting, yes.

Cristina: Other people describe it as a zombie or a type of vampire or werewolf. We already talked about vampire, but for the zombie werewolf thing, I guess for werewolf, because it could turn into the form of a werewolf, actually. So it does I don't know. I. Yes. But yeah, in Germany, it can also turn into a werewolf. In Germany, there's another being. I think it's the same creature, is a type of. This being. It's the name for. I think anyone. Dead people, ghosts, zombies, all those things. They're called Ones who Walks Again.

Jack: Ones who Walk Again, yes.

Cristina: That's how they refer to the zombies and the ghost stuff. And they usually come to. They believe the dead person returns to the world of the living, usually to cause problems and scare people and for revenge. A lot of it's revenge stuff.

Jack: So they're basically just like unfinished business type of ghosts.

Cristina: Yes. Yes. And they also might think that the. The. What is the Leaper dude is one of those things.

Jack: So now the question here is they think it's a human who died.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then becomes a sort of an anomalous thing.

Cristina: Or this thing could take the form of that human who died.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Because it is a shapeshifter and they don't really know what it really looks like.

Jack: Fallout vibes for days.

Cristina: Fallout vibes, yeah.

Jack: Replacing people with synths that are identical.

Cristina: Yes. So it could be that. Who knows?

Jack: Interesting. So it replaces the person, essentially.

Cristina: Yeah. In parts of Germany, they also think that the dead people have telepathic powers. In the grave, they gnaw on their own clothing and that somehow drinks the lifeblood of people that they know somehow. So it's a kind of vampirey thing. But they're not really sucking blood or anything.

Jack: I don't get why they're biting the clothing.

Cristina: Their own clothing. I don't know. Because that's the only thing they could shoe on. So they shoe on their own clothes while maybe thinking about that person, and then that person starts dying.

Jack: That's weird.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know how that happened, but yeah.

Jack: Interesting, interesting.

Cristina: And they also think that these undead people can rise out of the grave and jump on the back of people like the. The Leaper dude.

Jack: What is up with the back jumping? There's not like other things. They got one trick, that's it. There's nothing else.

Cristina: Well, they got blue sucking too.

Jack: No, that does nothing. They just. When they attack people, they always hop on their back. That's it.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The one move.

Cristina: Yeah. It's the most. Like, you never expect it unless you do, because you heard all these stories.

Jack: And then what you're facing it. Well, it's disarmed.

Cristina: But how are you gonna face it? They'll always find your back. You can't walk backwards. And then it will just pop up on your back.

Jack: You happen to turn around as it's about to leap, but it didn't yet. And then you see it there and it freezes and it's like, I've been caught.

Cristina: There's no way. How would you know? Unless it has, like, really loud footsteps, I guess.

Jack: No, you. By chance, you were walking away, and you're like, I forgot my keys, and you turn around to go back inside, and boom, it's right there.

Cristina: I think it could move quickly. I mean, it has werewolf. It could turn into a werewolf. It could run around you and then jump on your back.

Jack: If it's a werewolf, you're hearing it.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know. Maybe it's able to predict where your back is facing it.

Jack: So what you're telling me is this creature only exists behind us.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And so, like, if you were to turn around, it wouldn't be there because it's only existent behind you.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Where you're not facing is the only place it could be.

Cristina: Mm. Unless it's in the grave that you're looking.

Jack: You can see it in the grave?

Cristina: Yeah. If it's a dead person.

Jack: No, it's just a dead person.

Cristina: Well, if you believe that dead person is also leaping out of its grave to attack people's back.

Jack: It's not, though.

Cristina: There's some dead people who do it, too.

Jack: Who. They leap out of their grave onto people's back.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is this, like. Is there experiences about this?

Cristina: Oh, I don't know any. I don't know any. I do. I have found other experiences for other creatures, just not this one. Oh. I do know, though, that besides just carrying them to the churchyard to get rid of them off your back, you could also get rid of him, the leaper dude, by praying or by a spell. I don't know what spells or prayers gets him off your back, but the leaper kid get off your back by.

Jack: I'm sure if you go ask a priest, he'll know.

Cristina: He knows about spells.

Jack: He did. Look, Catholics made this, too. Anytime you insert religion into it and you could pray something away, Catholics made it up.

Cristina: I mean, it goes away once you get to the church, too, so.

Jack: Yeah. There's many incentives.

Cristina: Find out that the Church makes these creatures.

Jack: Yeah. There's probably a lab at the basement of the Vatican or some crap.

Cristina: Yes. Where they're keeping Jesus.

Jack: Yeah. And they're just making these creatures all the time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: What, if anything, at some point we should go, like, free Jesus or something.

Cristina: I don't know. What? What are they protecting him with? Probably with these creatures that they're making.

Jack: Fair enough. But we have the technology.

Cristina: Our superhuman versus their superhuman. Yeah, but an interesting war. You can do it then. There's a creature called the Night Waster. It's a very strange creature. It's recognized by it holding out the thumb of one hand in the other and walking around like that, only with its left eye open.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: Because it's a weirdo. I think it's also a dead person too. But you could recognize it by. Because he's holding his thumb and what is it? His left eye is open while he's holding his one thumb in the other hand. Or something like that. He has the ability to kill family members through magic. And while in his grave he's like the cloth thing. He's a person in the grave sucking his clothes. But this one, after it eats its own clothes, it starts feeding on its own flesh. Gross. Gross. But at least it will be easy to find the one that's this creature killing your family or a person killing your family. I'm not sure if it's a creature or a person that you know. Or both. I guess your dead relative became a creature.

Jack: None of it feels like they're creatures. They.

Cristina: They just feel like dead people just sound like zombies. Like zombies. Maybe they're all zombies. But they could transform.

Jack: So that doesn't sound like any of them have transformed in these examples.

Cristina: What? The leaper dude transforms into werewolves.

Jack: Fair enough. He transforms. This other guy is just a gu. He seems like a guy. He seems like he's just a guy.

Cristina: Actually this one is just a guy. I don't know how he got here, but he's just a guy. That I thought was interesting. Alright. I made a lot of friends with shape shifting bloodsuckers and he happened to not be one. But he does suck blood. Or I guess not really because he's sucking the soul out of his family members and eating himself and eating himself.

Jack: Good times.

Cristina: And it also feeds off the. Off the bodies of other corpses. Because that's cool, I guess.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: And he also mates with women who are dead from childbirth. I don't understand mating. Like he's having children with these dead women. I guess he sounds like a creature, doesn't he? Or he's still a zombie now.

Jack: I mean, as soon as he starts mating, that goes out the window. The fact that he could mate is way off. Yeah, like that doesn't make sense at all.

Cristina: Yeah. So while he's eating his own clothes and his Own flesh. His family members are becoming are dying off, getting. Losing their life. And it's getting stronger. And then he becomes a wing dingo. Was it the Win Dingle? One of them. Those creatures that were like, you need to be strong and then you become that thing.

Jack: You're telling me the goal of this creature is to make a family get an in. Home gym workout daily until he gets shredded. And once he's shredded, he can transcend into Windingo.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: I think it was the West Shooge.

Cristina: The West Shoosh. Yeah, it's the West Shooch. It was the Westchooge. And it's possible to find this dude by the sound of sucking it makes. Because it has the thumb, I guess. Also. No, I guess that's sucking of its own clothes. Yeah. So if you hear sucking in the graveyard, it's probably the night wasps waster.

Jack: Or necrophilic b******.

Cristina: Or that. Oh, my gosh. It could be that with his dead wife.

Jack: Oh, it could just be some random straggler made it into the graveyard, dug up a recently dead body and blew him.

Cristina: Wow. And then that's how these stories were made.

Jack: Yep.

Cristina: I don't. You do not have to be bitten to become one of the night wasters. If a child was born with part of that sack thingy on his head, then you just have to feed him the sack thingy so he doesn't have to become the creature after he dies. I don't know what the sack is called. The water sack.

Jack: What?

Cristina: The thing that the baby's born with.

Jack: The placenta.

Cristina: Is it the placenta? Maybe there's a sack that's with the baby when it's growing. Okay. There's some. Some things you can do to get rid of the night waster, which is placing a chunk of earth under his chin.

Jack: Right. How would you get to him to do that?

Cristina: From hearing the sucking sound. You heard the sucking sound? You follow the sucking sound to the grave where the guy Follow the sucking.

Jack: Sound to the guy who's gonna try to kill you.

Cristina: He's dead. Or he's pretending to be asleep with his one eye open and his thumb in his hand or whatever. And you throw dirt in his. Under his chin. Or maybe you do this to every person that dies to avoid. To avoid the transformation. Yeah.

Jack: Yeah. That makes a lot more sense.

Cristina: Okay. Placing a coin or stone in their mouth also. So I guess that will stop them from chewing with a coin or stone in their mouth. Tying a handkerchief around their neck. We're placing nets and stockings inside the Grave nuts. Nuts.

Jack: Nets like tree nuts.

Cristina: Nets.

Jack: Nets. What?

Cristina: Nets like fishing nets.

Jack: Got you. And that just tangles him up and then he's screwed.

Cristina: I guess so. And the extreme ways to get rid of him is getting rid of his head, of course.

Jack: That sounds pretty familiar. That's all. The bloodsuckers have that problem going on.

Cristina: Yes. Even though he's not really a bloodsucker, but you know, whatever, he's drinking life. So I guess he counts. He's sucking on something and that's the important part. Right.

Jack: Is he a shapeshifter?

Cristina: No, he's just a dead dude. He's a zombie. You could also drive a steak in its mouth and you could fix the tongue so it won't move around. Okay, those are the extremes. But back to shape shifting creatures. There's a guy called the Chanchan. He's a sorcerer from Chile or Argentina. And he transforms into a bird. And the birds are called Shon. Shon. And he turns himself into a bird by using a magical cream on his throat that removes his head and then the head becomes the creature.

Jack: Amazing.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: I would like to know how he doesn't bleed out.

Cristina: The cream is magical.

Jack: Right?

Cristina: The magic of the cream is like, I guess, not letting his body bleed out.

Jack: Like with his head out, would we be able to see into his body?

Cristina: I imagine. No. I imagine the cream is just like covering that whole thing up. And you only see cream?

Jack: You only see cream?

Cristina: Yes. And this creature has the shape, of course, a human head with feathers and claws. Its ears become extremely large to be used as wings. Like a bird. Like a really strange, really horrifying bird.

Jack: Yes, it sounds pretty bad.

Cristina: It's a human head with feathers, claws and wings. Okay, but. Yes, but these are sorcerers. These are real people who are just deciding, I'm gonna become this thing. They do it for evil because these are evil sorcerers. Of course. It gives them the ability to drink blood from the ill and sleeping people. And I think that gives them more power. They do that for more power.

Jack: Interesting that. Only from people who are sleeping or dead. Ill. Ill people who are ill or sleeping. Fair. Yeah, that's interesting. Very vampiric, very Dracula esque. Sneak into your bed while you're knocked the f*** out, prey on you. You don't even know what happened until the morning when you just got two dots on you.

Cristina: Yeah. It's strange because it should be invisible. So I don't know how they know that it looks like a bird, but I'm guessing they found dead versions of It. And that's how they know, because it's invisible. And the only way you can tell that it's near is because it makes a cry. Toot, toot, too. If you hear that, run. No, it makes a weird sound and it's supposed to predict death of a loved one. So maybe it's hunting someone near you and that's why you hear it and then you know, oh, no, I had to watch out for my ill or sleeping lover.

Jack: That's weird, because if you hear it, there's no way you know what it is because you've never seen it. So, no. That's what you're hearing?

Cristina: Yes. You know something bad's gonna happen. I guess you at least know that much.

Jack: Do you, though? Is it more like, what the f*** was that?

Cristina: Maybe. But there's people who have caught it. There's people who have caught it somehow.

Jack: So they got proof this thing exists?

Cristina: Yes, of course. Maybe. So in order to repel this thing, there are some things you can do, which is draw the Solomon seal on the ground, laying out a waistcoat in a specific manner and reciting certain phrases or hymns. Is that religious? This is like a religious ceremony you gotta do. And then it will be repelled by you. It will force the Shunshun to leave or to fall to the ground, where it could be destroyed. Which I guess is the goal. To destroy it. Right. Unless you just want to abandon it. If you just abandoned it, it will come for revenge, though. So I would say destroy it.

Jack: It'll hunt you down if you ignore it.

Cristina: Yes. Actually, if you kill it, its friends might hunt you down. So that's a toughie. If the headless body of the sorceress is found, turning it onto its stomach prevents the Shunshun to return to it. I don't know why, but, Yes, if you put the body. Yeah, if you. I wonder how the body's laying. Is it standing or sitting? But if you place it on its stomach, the head can't go back. I don't know why. I feel like it just needs to, like, fight the right spot. Like, unless you're covering the neck somehow by laying it on its stomach. I don't know. My imagination is not very well because I can't see what's stopping the bird from going back to the neck of a person whose stomach is on the ground.

Jack: The cream is in the way.

Cristina: The cream is in the way?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Of what?

Jack: The one that made his head come off.

Cristina: The cream is in the way. No. I don't understand.

Jack: No, Isn't the cream covering the whole thing?

Cristina: Yes, well, of the neck. That's all I know.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: The cream is in the way of the bird.

Jack: The bird is the head.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So you're telling me the bird isn't covered in cream so I can look up and just see into the skull maybe?

Cristina: No, but I'm trying to imagine. Okay, The. The Be. The. The neck is still out while you're laying down, whether your stomach is.

Jack: But the cream is in the way.

Cristina: Do you understand? What are you talking about?

Jack: You said the cream blocks the whole area so that we can't see into the body from the top.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And the same applies to the head, theoretically.

Cristina: So the cream is in the way. And that's why laying the body on its stomach stops the bird in any position.

Jack: That bird can't come back because the cream is in the way.

Cristina: Oh, in any position. Then what's the point? Okay, whatever.

Jack: To become a permanent bird.

Cristina: Nah. You could also yell at it, come back tomorrow for more for some salt. And then the next day he'll come to you in its human form to ask for salt. And then you'll know he's the bird.

Jack: He's not really a sorcerer at that point, is he? He's really like some kind of dude stuck in a pattern.

Cristina: It sounds like a vampire counting those rice.

Jack: No, it doesn't. It sounds like you staged some, like, setup and he, like, has to participate.

Cristina: Like the vampire counting. Like he has to participate in the counting of things, I guess. Well, one time there was a case where someone did. Ground one of the birds from using while he. He did the Solomon seal thing, that. That weird chant thing. And it caused the large bird to fall out of the sky. And they. They fed the bird to the dog. And then the belly of the dog grew into the shape of a face. And that's how they knew. And then later the local grave digger said some unknown people came to bury a headless body.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: So it's out there. But I think I would just ask it to come back tomorrow for some salt.

Jack: And then put it in a cage.

Cristina: And then put it in a cage. Well, then his friends will come. I don't know.

Jack: Put them in a cage.

Cristina: Put them in a cage. Okay. That's huge.

Jack: Open a bird sorcerer zoo.

Cristina: Yes. See if I can learn some of their magic. Like, they have to have more magic, right?

Jack: Yep.

Cristina: Can't just be about drinking blood.

Jack: You keep promising to let them go if they teach you magic.

Cristina: Yes. Then there's Coco, who's a shapeshifter too. That's unknown, but like, whatever. The original form is unknown, but it could. There's so many stories of what it looks like. A dragon, werewolf, ghost with a skull like pumpkin head. A ghost monster. It's a ghost monster. That's what I think it is. Okay.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: I don't know. The way they describe it is very. They compare it to the Boogeyman because they scare their children with the Coco. What a name, Coco. It doesn't sound very scary, but this Coco creature lives in many, many countries, Hispanic countries, in Spain, Portugal.

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it Coco for a fact? It's not Cuco.

Cristina: Oh, Cuco. It could be Cuco. I don't know. It's spelled Coco, but I think it's said in. It could have had many different spellings. Oh, El Cuco? Is that what you're talking about?

Jack: El Cuco? Yeah.

Cristina: Yes. Cuco.

Jack: Ok. As well as El Cucuy.

Cristina: El Cucuy. Yes. So you heard of this because it's the Spanish creature.

Jack: It's the literal Spanish translation of the boogeyman.

Cristina: The boogeyman. That's what I said. Okay, the boogeyman. Yes. But have you, like, when you heard about it, what did he sound like? How was he described to you?

Jack: He's basically Slenderman.

Cristina: Slenderman? Ooh.

Jack: Yeah. He's some sort of shadowy figure, a horror you could not describe. He is always in dark places. He shows up when you least suspect, usually when you're by yourself. Yeah, Basic boogeyman things. He'll s***** you up.

Cristina: Yeah. He likes to take the shapes of shadows, dark shadows. To kidnap children, specifically. Does he eat those children?

Jack: Basically hiding in the closet or under the bed?

Cristina: Oh, yeah, but. And yeah, the thing about this thing, I don't know if he sucks the blood out of the children, but he definitely eats those children. He kidnaps them and eats them. That's believable if they're bad. I think that's what the parents say. If you're. If you're bad, the cook Coco will get you. The Coco.

Jack: Yeah. The boogeyman's gonna get you.

Cristina: Yeah. The biggie, man. Yeah. So you have to be good and he won't get you. So he's a child eater and a kidnapper. It's said to be out on it. Hangs out on rooftops, looking out for misbehaving children. Like Santa Claus.

Jack: I feel like a lot of people work with Santa.

Cristina: Yeah. Sometimes. It's also described as a hairy monster that it's because it's in so many. It's weird that it's the same creature, but because it's in so many different countries, all Spanish countries, it maybe. It takes forms of different things in each country.

Jack: It is a shapeshifter, so it's regional, like that's expected.

Cristina: Yeah. One origin story of the cuco that I found, it might not be the real origin story. Like, there's probably no origin story for this guy. But one of them was that a man was sick with tuberculosis. He was looking for a cure, so he looked for a healer, and she told him the cure was drinking the blood of children and rubbing their fat on his chest. Then he started kidnapping kids and drinking their blood. So there you go. He is a blood drinker.

Jack: So if this story was real, he'd be the first person to test out adrenochrome.

Cristina: Yes, yes, yes.

Jack: And it turned him into some sort of freak of nature.

Cristina: Yeah. He walks up and down streets with a black bag looking for children. And that's. That's all I know about him. You know more about him than I do, but I guess you only know one version of him because there's so many different versions of him. But he looks like Slenderman in yours.

Jack: All the versions are more or less the same thing. They're pretty closely related.

Cristina: But you don't know what he did with those children.

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: Yeah, well, I'm saying he's a bloodsucker. Then there's the La Ga, who is a cousin to the French and Germanic werewolf. It's a shapeshifter from Trinidad. And Tro Bago Lagahoo. Laga who?

Jack: Interesting. And it looks like a wolf or some s***.

Cristina: No, I wish. I wish he did. But by day he's a normal man, but by night he is headless and he roams the night with a wooden coffin on its neck. And he also has chains around his neck which change sizes. And, like, one of his appendages is turned backwards, which is very. Werewolf. Maybe an arm or a leg is backward for some reason, I don't think, to hide a tail or anything. Maybe he's like a retarded werewolf.

Jack: This is actually really interesting. I've heard about something similar to that, and it's. You can actually. I think there was a movie with one of these in there.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: I think it was the 13th ghost that. There was the Jackal. It was a ghost with, like, a coffin on its head, essentially. And it's all contorted. It's the one that walks all weird and s***.

Cristina: It Was probably based on this guy.

Jack: Could definitely be interesting.

Cristina: But he could also shape shift into various animals, including horses, pigs, and goats and centaurs Or a creature that's similar to a centaur.

Jack: So pretty much anything, it seems.

Cristina: Yeah. And he's a blood sucker, but he doesn't suck the blood out of humans, which I guess is a good thing because he is horrifying. Description of him is just. I wouldn't want to see that. I really wouldn't. But he likes cows and goats.

Jack: That's cool. He's the good guy.

Cristina: He's like the Chupacabra, more or less.

Jack: Yeah. The Chupacabra isn't out there eating people.

Cristina: Yeah. But if he's eating your farm animals, you might want to kill him.

Jack: Why don't you just raise a couple of farm animals for him?

Cristina: That's cool too.

Jack: Try to get him to out his people and create a community where they protect your farm and in return, you feed them. You feed them.

Cristina: That's awesome. Yes, let's do that. But if you do want to kill him, you can beat him with a stick that has been anointed with holy water and holy oil for nine days. To kill the creature, you have to beat him with a stick that's been in holy water for nine days. That's very church related, man.

Jack: They're all church. The Catholic church designs monsters.

Cristina: Yes. And while you're beating it, it changes into other creatures like a dog, a horse, cat, pig. It even changes into a thunderous waves of water and finally disappears into a black mist. And then you dead. Then it's dead. It's very interesting. Transformations. I feel like we heard a ghost story of. Was it transformations or it was just things crossing the road after the other and it was just different.

Jack: Yeah, it was a ghost story.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: It was like a guy crossed the road chased by a ghost or something. An old man? No, he was just a chicken or some s***, right?

Cristina: Yeah, chicken and a dog and a cat. I don't know. It was a child story. I don't know what was happening. But yes, this creature has that same type of thing going on.

Jack: But it was a Clinton road story, I believe. No, it was a different road.

Cristina: Different road. It was a different road. Yeah. Then there's this other thing. We'll call him one foot. Well, actually, his name, I guess if you translate it, is one foot in Spanish. Pata sola. Pata sola.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Well, that's a South American monster. She lives in the jungle. She appears to men in the middle of the wildness. And she lures them into the jungle to eat them. To reveal her true form. We know her true form at least. Like she looks like a woman but she's really a one legged creature with vampire like lust for human flesh and blood. And she attacks them and devours their flesh and sucks the blood out of her victims. Very vampire.

Jack: She's like a succubus.

Cristina: Yes, but she's.

Jack: Or a siren.

Cristina: A siren.

Jack: The mermaid.

Cristina: Oh, mermaid. But she's not in the water.

Jack: Yeah, it's an out of water mermaid.

Cristina: Yeah. Do they drink blood? Oh man.

Jack: Mermaids. Kind of. Yeah.

Cristina: Succubus. No, not succubus. What was the other one?

Jack: Sirens.

Cristina: Sirens.

Jack: Sirens, Succubus, Incubus and mermaids.

Cristina: All half of those things are ghosts.

Jack: Ghosts?

Cristina: Yeah. Incubus and succubus are ghost creatures.

Jack: Those aren't ghosts.

Cristina: They. I thought they were.

Jack: No, those are monsters.

Cristina: Those are monsters. I thought those were ghosts.

Jack: I thought they were monsters.

Cristina: Really? Because I. Well from ghost shows there have been men who've been haunted by succubus.

Jack: Was it the ghost adventure guys?

Cristina: No, no, it was just people telling their ghost stories of the haunted house that they lived in or whatever.

Jack: Oh my God.

Cristina: And the way that these creatures are described are like ghosts, but stronger I guess. Stronger?

Jack: No, best case scenario, it's a demon.

Cristina: Oh yeah, like a demon. But I guess in a way it looks like a ghost because it looks like nothing. Because you can't say you see a ghost.

Jack: No, these things are visible.

Cristina: These things are visible.

Jack: You, a succubus, an incubus. Mermaid and a siren are physical things you see.

Cristina: Okay. But they're not physically in your house. Like their physical bodies hiding in your house.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, that's how it goes. In fact. Specifically for the mermaid and the siren.

Cristina: Well yes, I know those two.

Jack: A group of people see them.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. Those are more monster like.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: While the other two I thought were more ghost. Like which. Their bodies aren't really physical.

Jack: No, I think their body. Look it up. I think their bodies are physical. Now google succubus to confirm.

Cristina: On the opposite end it says succubus here too. Female counterpart succubus.

Jack: Okay, so it's a demon, it's a.

Cristina: Physical thing, but it's not. I mean like yes, but no, because like you wake up and then it's not there, you know?

Jack: Right. It goes like this. You're at a bar, you see really hot chick. The boys also see the really hot chick. You and the boys Are like, yo, I'm gonna go flirt with that girl. Get her a drink and everything.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And you do. And you take her home and you do whatever. Except at some point you black out. You wake up, she's gone. Everybody saw her. She wasn't not there. She was physical and frightened.

Cristina: And for that guy that, that happened to, she wasn't there. She was there, but then she disappears. Like a ghost. He didn't pick her up anywhere. She was just living in his house.

Jack: He was probably dealing with some other s*** that wasn't an succubus.

Cristina: I don't know. I think they're more complicated.

Jack: It's a demon.

Cristina: Yeah. Demons could have ghostly bodies, can't they? I don't know.

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: Like they don't physically or. They don't have to physically be in your house, do they? I don't know. Whatever. Yes. Okay, let's continue. That'll be for another episode, maybe. Who knows? Then there's the Striga, who is a vampire witch that sucks blood of infants at night while they're sleeping. And then they. They like to turn into insects to go in, to sneak into the house of the child. And to protect yourself from the shriga, you have to make a cross out of pig bone and place it at the entrance of a church on Easter Sunday so that the sugar cannot leave. But I guess you're somehow supposed to know that it's in there. What's it doing in the church? Hmm? Entrance in the church. I guess it lives in your church. Then they could be captured and killed like any other thing. But also to protect yourself from this creature, you could put a silver coin in the blood that it drank from and wrap it in clothing. And then that it protects you from the creature. Once you wrap it up, you could wear as jewelry to protect yourself from the creature.

Jack: That's a really cool way to make an amulet.

Cristina: Yes, from blood.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: I wonder if the blood stays soaked on the coin or something. Like it's magical blood now.

Jack: I mean, you wrapped it.

Cristina: You wrapped it. Yeah. Yeah. So in the legends, only the witch could cure those. She drained their blood. And if she doesn't? Oh, the way she cures people that she's bitten is by spitting in their mouth. And if she doesn't do that, they'll just get sick and die. And these witches aren't born, but they become one. Because either she is childless or is made evil by envy. And a strong belief in God could make people immune to the witch. He could protect them.

Jack: Sounds Very. How do I put it? Consistent.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, very consistent. You believe in God, you pray, you go to church. All these monsters will f*** off.

Cristina: Mm. There's something going on there.

Jack: Yeah, always. They're responsible for all the creatures. Or they got packs with all these creatures.

Cristina: They got packs. They're making these creatures.

Jack: Maybe they are the creatures.

Cristina: Maybe they are the creatures. Like the song. Those sorcerers that become birds. Maybe they're becoming all these other things. We don't know that. Then there's this bloodsuckerer in Mexico. It's like a vampire or a witch that lives with its human family. And they have to keep his secret because if it dies, someone else in the family, I think, turns into this vampire witch creature. They can change form by detaching their bodies from their legs, which they leave in the house. So strange. I think the transformation is of a goat. He needs to feed off of blood once a month or he'll die. And he wants to suck the blood of babies at night. Sucks the blood of babies.

Jack: That's actually the closest one to a vampire I've heard so far. Where not drinking blood will kill it.

Cristina: Yeah. Well, most of these creatures are female, and so I'll say she. She's born with the curse and can't avoid being this vampire creature because it's in the. I guess, the family line, which we were talking about. What if we went to a country and tried these things? What would we become? So what if we did have the blood of a werewolf and that's how we become a werewolf? We don't know that. Like, a bite helps speed up the process of becoming the thing we already had in us.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Maybe it's just easier for these vampire creatures to do it. And the victims that were killed by these creatures have bruises on their upper body. And they hunt mostly in cold and rainy weather. I don't know why specific weather, but they got rules. Maybe they're like vampires. They sound. You said like vampires, so it makes sense.

Jack: Yeah, they might just be avoiding daylight.

Cristina: Yeah, because they hunt at night too. So night, cold, and rainy weather. They fly from village to village as a turkey.

Jack: Best transformation while the vampire is over here being douchey. I'm a bat, bro. Look how cool this m*********** is. Like, I'm a gorgeous turkey.

Cristina: That's not my only bright color. That's a pretty cool one. But there's even a cooler one. It can fly as a flying fireball. A fireball?

Jack: That's pretty hardcore. I would never use the turkey form.

Cristina: You Never use the turkey form.

Jack: I will be a fireball forever. Because everybody just thinks it's a shooting star or a meteor or some s***.

Cristina: But also it likes to be a donkey. So it could scout out the victims. I guess that's the best form it takes. The donkey. You don't want to be a donkey.

Jack: Just blend into plain sight.

Cristina: Yeah. That's very sneaky. But you could tell that the animal is this creature because it has a.

Jack: Glowing aura making everything we've just discussed useless.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: A glowing turkey. That's some sort of monster.

Cristina: Yeah. And it smells like blood mad.

Jack: Impractical.

Cristina: Yes. Like, we talked also about that. Some. They're trying their best to take the shape of the forms. But some of them might not be as good as others.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So maybe these are like, they're almost there. Just a few more tries and they'll get it. They got it. They almost got it. Like, maybe being in the bloodline helps them get better at this thing of shape shifting or whatever is happening.

Jack: But it sounds like these creatures aren't even related to the other creatures we discussed. Like these seem like whole other things. Dead people and s*** like that. Like zombies. They don't even sound like. Some of these people aren't even like fast or anything. They're just like zombies.

Cristina: They're like zombies that. But they could transform. That's the important thing.

Jack: One of them couldn't.

Cristina: Except for one of them. Yeah. He snuck in.

Jack: Interesting. They could all transform. But can they all transform to anything? Or a lot of them bound to one form. Are these their famous forms?

Cristina: I think these are their famous forms. Like the cuckoo. The coco cuckoo. The cuckoo. He doesn't have any. Like, he has so many forms. One of them was a dragon. For some reason there was like he could do whatever. Except for. For some reason it's kind of wild. What he could become. Hairy monster.

Jack: Yeah. That's pretty cool though. So they are just definitely shapeshifters at the end of the day.

Cristina: Yeah. And the first one we talked about. He turns into a werewolf. But he could also just turn into a lady. He could be sneaky if he wants to. He just feels like. I guess being a werewolf is just easier because you can run after the person.

Jack: Yeah. It must also be funner.

Cristina: Yeah, it could be funner too. Because you can't kill that creature. So that creature doesn't have a weakness to death. Like there's nothing. It's not like the vampire that you can kill it in certain ways. That one. You can't @ all. So it's just having fun?

Jack: Yeah, it's just doing whatever the h*** it wants.

Cristina: Yeah. My leaper buddy. Oh, my gosh. This is gonna be suspicious, but to enter the house, it must fly over the roof and take the shape of a cross.

Jack: To enter a house?

Cristina: Yep. To enter a house, it must fly.

Jack: Over the roof as a cross.

Cristina: Take the shape of a cross. Like, fly around in a cross, like, shape.

Jack: Oh, s***.

Cristina: Like, it's doing that. Weird, man.

Jack: At this point, like, a bunch of Catholics got together. Like, Catholics are monsters. They're literal monsters. And the symbols and crap that they teach and the prayers and s***, it's all just to benefit them.

Cristina: They're making these monsters. These monsters are the same.

Jack: They're making them. They are the monsters. They're the people who found Jesus and captured him, knowing that he has a direct link with God, crippled him so that he couldn't move, and slowly siphon his power to turn themselves into these monsters that then wreak havoc on the world.

Cristina: Yes. This is happening. What are we gonna do?

Jack: We gotta tell the QAnon guys.

Cristina: Oh, they love this. Oh, my gosh. This is. Man. If you can tell Alex Jones is about this, I know he'd love this.

Jack: Alex Jones. I love that man.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: He's my everything.

Cristina: He's your everything. Okay. And then it sneaks into the house as a fly. And when it enters the room, the house, it becomes a mist to paralyze everyone. Sounds like a vampire does that, doesn't it? Or at least it has that ability of paralyzing people.

Jack: Turning into a gas. Yeah.

Cristina: On a gas. Okay.

Jack: Became a mist.

Cristina: A mist.

Jack: Yeah. That's very vampire.

Cristina: And then once inside, she turns back into a turkey and sucks the victim's blood.

Jack: How crazy of an experience is this? A weird cloud starts leaking, like it's gas. You think you're being gassed right now? You look at your door. Oh, my God. What's happening? Is there a fire outside?

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Mist starts coming in and, like, filling up. And you're like, oh, my God, are we gonna burn death? And then the mist just starts to gather, doesn't spread out anymore. And then it starts to solidify, and boom, out comes a turkey. It's like, what the f***?

Cristina: Yes. And then she goes to the baby and she has a needle like tongue. And the tongue starts just drinking the baby's blood. And you're watching this.

Jack: Yes. In shock.

Cristina: In shock. And you're like aliens.

Jack: Yeah. At that point.

Cristina: Okay, so there's some ways to protect yourself and your baby. From this creature. If you want, you could leave sharp objects under the crib like a knife, scissors, needles, pins. That seems really dangerous for the baby, too.

Jack: It's under the crib.

Cristina: It's under. Yeah, but what if the baby decides to get out of its crib and then starts playing with these things?

Jack: Maybe you've created a serial killer.

Cristina: Making a cross out of the safety pins on your garments will help. Putting a mirror, dirty shorts, or soiled diapers near the bed will help. Only onions and garlics can ward off attacks.

Jack: Very vampirey, Very vampiry. Also, you can, in theory, j*** in your underwear and then slap it on the crib, Be like, you're safe, baby.

Cristina: Yes. And you can wrap your baby in a tortilla and tuck them into blankets and clothing. Yep. Protect yourself with tortillas.

Jack: Really?

Cristina: Yes. What tortilla?

Jack: Wow. So, like, turning your child into a taco is safe?

Cristina: Yes. Turning your child into. I feel like that would make it more craving. Like, he'll want the baby more.

Jack: It would make it more craving towards a human who wants tacos.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Not towards a bird who's usually inside the tacos.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It's like, no, I understand the pain. I must free this baby.

Cristina: Let's free this baby. He's normally inside the taco. Oh, the turkey. Okay, so she has memories of what it's like to be a turkey being murdered.

Jack: No. She knows that this happens, and she sympathizes her people.

Cristina: Okay, so what's really killing these babies? There's been so many cases. There was, like, there was a doctor who went through these cases to find out what happened to these babies. There was, like, 40 babies dead, and the victims didn't lose any blood. But what killed them was no oxygen. Asphyxiation killed the babies. Yeah. Most of the babies probably died by accident. Probably, yeah, because the way they were laying on the baby might have killed the baby. And then, like, I guess after. What's it called? After heaters and stuff like that, Things to warm your home happened. These things stopped happening because it was mostly during winter time when it was super cold, and then you'd want to huddle with your baby, and then that would kill your baby. But once that kind of stuff was made, you could warm up your house. You don't have to be next to your baby or try to warm your baby with a bunch of blankets. And then the blankets kill the baby, and then no more babies dying.

Jack: Yeah. It seems like most creatures were created around the time that the catholic church could just say, Random s***. And people would eat it. And as well as when situations were so crappy that people didn't want to take blame for things that they were clearly doing or scared of. And us monsters.

Cristina: Yes. Also, people had to take it because they would kill them and say, you're a witch.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: And then burn you at the stakes.

Jack: Good old Catholic church ways.

Cristina: You had to take it. Yep. So I guess that's it for now. I hope you like these stories from my friend Leaper. Is that his name? Leapy. I think I named him Leapy, but I changed it to Leaper. So there you go.

Jack: And he told you about all these creatures. So he's basically a rat.

Cristina: Yes, because I fed him some of our employees.

Jack: Fair enough. Good trade off.

Cristina: Good trade off.

Jack: That's what the subhumans are here for.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: They are willing. They just stand by and they're like, yes, sir.

Cristina: Yeah. They didn't care. They were happy.

Jack: They'll never care. They're just here to please us.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: Those overpowered hyper intelligence, super physically peaked monster retards.

Cristina: Yes, but they're beautiful.

Jack: Flawlessly beautiful. They're immaculate.

Cristina: It's ridiculous.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: But they're brain dead.

Jack: Anyways, we are definitely out of time here, so we'll have to hear the rest of your friend's story some other time.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: Yes. But if you guys like conversations of this nature, if you like listening to us talk about creatures, there's many creature episodes. Go back and catch up on all the creature episodes. Creatures of all types, all shapes and sizes. All shape shifting sizes and types.

Cristina: And bloodlusting.

Jack: Yes. So you can totally find all that good stuff on the official website, greythoughts.info or on Apple podcasts, Spotify and anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. And if you feel so inclined, we would adore a review and let someone.

Cristina: Who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes. The power of word of mouth is almighty. So if you tell somebody to kindly listen and tell them why, they'll be like, okay. And then the community grows.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: Chuck Norris could be Chucky if you wanted, though.

Jack: No. Yes, because Chuck Norris only really dwells in the realm of paradoxes.

Cristina: Yes, but that's why he wins.

Jack: He would have to paradoxically win. Yeah, that's not a real victory. That's a technicality.

Cristina: So I think that's fair.

Jack: Like in a fight, Shaggy would win. No, in a fair, non counterintuitive fight, he would win.

Cristina: Yes, I guess he would. But that doesn't make him God.

Jack: That does make him God.

Cristina: Really strong.

Jack: He could be God in a fist fight.

Cristina: He's just really strong at 1%.

Jack: What does more percent look like?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: Google it. What are the powers of Shaggy? Let's break this down.

Cristina: I think he has powers.

Jack: Shaggy has powers. Shaggy definitely has powers.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Jack: I'm Rob.

Cristina: I'm Slim.

Jack: And I'm the Slam Bagini himself, baby. Yeah. The Rob and Slim show is a weekly comedy show with an hour, hour and a half of happy horseshit followed by four half hour interviews with actors, authors and more. Scott Bale loves us and asked me a On my stomach in the bathtub. Yeah, I am. Catch us live every Wednesday, 6 to 9:30pm Eastern Standard Time on ipmnation.com forward/live2 or facebook.com forward/robinslim or listen to the Rapid Slim show on Pop B Ratoons. Baby. Yeah. I just s*** my f****** pants.