Rambling 202: More Animal Stuff

Following last week’s discussion about animals and the results Google coughed up the duo dive deeper and get even more random stats to compare different animals from all walks of life. From the fastest to the largest, all the data is present.

Rambling 202: More Animal Stuff

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed:

  • Largest Animals
  • Fastest Animals
  • Smallest Animals
  • Smartest Animals
  • Deadliest Animals

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I'm your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I'm Christina.

Jack: And this is the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. Today, we have some particularly baffling ideas.

Cristina: What are they?

Jack: They're too baffling.

Cristina: The two. Baffling.

Jack: They're too baffling. So I decided to make a huge list of ideas that are too baffling to comprehend. But in making them, I was baffled through the writing process, and I don't know what I wrote.

Cristina: It was that baffling?

Jack: It was too baffling.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: So I have a list. It's just too baffling to comprehend or read.

Cristina: But you could read it.

Jack: No, it's too baffling.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Well, you have to try to read it.

Jack: I tried. It's just too baffling.

Cristina: We can try right now.

Jack: No, we can't.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: It's too baffling. It's so baffling. Its location baffles me.

Cristina: It's location. How's that possible?

Jack: All of it is too baffling. But listen to me. Last week on Dragon Ball Z, we were talking about Google and its animals.

Cristina: Google.

Jack: We were talking to Google. Talking to Google about its animals. Yeah. About sizes, and it was about sizes. We were talking to it about the largest animals, and we were talking to it about.

Cristina: If this was Dragon Ball Z, the largest animal is that dinosaur.

Jack: Which one? The one that Goku hunted as a child.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah, the T. Rex.

Jack: No, I was. Was cell bigger when he became that giant ball to blow up.

Cristina: Also, what about the dragon that makes wishes?

Jack: Oh, that's way bigger.

Cristina: We already figured out the biggest thing. Yeah, with the dragon.

Jack: Yeah, it's like Nitro Shenron or whatever the h*** his name is. He's the largest thing because he's wrapping around entire, like, universes.

Cristina: Yeah. That's pretty crazy.

Jack: How do you see that? Okay. We can't comprehend God, assuming he's trapped within our own reality.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: We're gonna be like. Yeah. We're gonna see the dragon wrapping around, like, 12 different realities simultaneously. And he's coiled up from how long he is.

Cristina: That's ridiculous.

Jack: How can a being look at that and see anything?

Cristina: They can't.

Jack: They can't. Right beyond a certain point.

Cristina: Maybe their. Their God has the ability to see it.

Jack: Does it? It's. I don't know. It's crazy.

Cristina: We don't know His Abilities, though.

Jack: Zeno.

Cristina: Zeno. Yeah. Like maybe he has the ability to see it. He has the ability to make it and destroy it. Like everything.

Jack: Yeah, he does. He blinked the universe out of existence just because. Haha.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So, I mean, would God give a crap? He wouldn't, like, whatever, make another one.

Cristina: Yeah, he makes sense.

Jack: Yeah, it makes sense, right? That's a. That's a logical God. I dismiss the notion of a God that gives a crap. It wouldn't make sense. That's a demigod. You like kind of God, but you still got emotions. You're definitely kind of human.

Cristina: Mm. You're way more alien than anything.

Jack: Yeah, you're just a weird. Yeah. You're probably just an alien. To be real.

Cristina: Yes. So what God got would more be more like. What's his name?

Jack: Zeno.

Cristina: Zeno.

Jack: Like ultra mega, top of the line. I'm the omniscient. All knowing, all seeing. Like that God doesn't care.

Cristina: He couldn't.

Jack: That doesn't make any sense.

Cristina: But he cares about something.

Jack: No, he couldn't. He couldn't. If he made everything, everything is equal.

Cristina: Yeah, it does seem like that for him, doesn't it?

Jack: I guess that would make sense. Or maybe he has favorite favorites. Like humans could be his favorite thing. Like everybody has a favorite thing they made and the thing they hate the most. That they made.

Cristina: Yes. Okay.

Jack: Right. We could just be the favorite. That's fine.

Cristina: Mm. I don't know if we are, but, well, regardless.

Jack: We're definitely part of the. The food chain.

Cristina: Yes. Are we the biggest thing? The biggest, smartest thing? Are we the smartest big thing? We make sense.

Jack: We're pretty smart and we're pretty big, but we're not the smartest biggest thing. But we're also nowhere near the smallest thing.

Cristina: Of course we're not the smallest thing.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're not the smartest biggest thing, but we're definitely not the smallest thing.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: There's abusively tiny things.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cristina: Like what?

Jack: Look at that photo.

Cristina: Is that a werewolf?

Jack: It's a marmoset. It's a pygmy marmoset. Things called pygmies are really tiny things.

Cristina: But what's a marmoset?

Jack: I have no idea. What a marmoset.

Cristina: Is that a werewolf?

Jack: It's some sort of creature. Maybe a monkey.

Cristina: Could be a monkey. It looks so weird.

Jack: What is a marmoset? So.

Cristina: So marmosets are weird? Not just the little ones. They're all weird. It's a small Squirrel like monkey. It has many features that are unusual among primates. They don't say what, but they look strange. Like just the regular marmosets. Not even just that tiny werewolf that you're showing us. Look at this dude. He looks like a bird or something. Like, like just standing from a tree covered in like. You would think that was an owl or something. I don't know. It's very strange. It's a cat like owl, monkey. Look at this, look at this one. Oh, no, that's the pygmy one. Oh, that's a pygmy one. But it looks like a cat. Owl.

Jack: Yes, it does.

Cristina: But just look at the common one. This is the common one down here. See, look, White face, weird ears. Like, what? What's going on? What's going on? Very strange.

Jack: It's a monkey.

Cristina: So it's like the world's smallest monkey, I'm guessing.

Jack: Yeah, I suppose. Maroset is the world's smallest monkey.

Cristina: How small does it get?

Jack: How small does this monkey get? 4 inches.

Cristina: 4 inches. Oh, my gosh. That is so tiny.

Jack: That's a tiny, tiny monkey.

Cristina: That is a tiny monkey. That's like an adult is a four inch.

Jack: Yeah, it's a monkey that's smaller than a dollar.

Cristina: Wow. That is too cute. Even though it looks crazy.

Jack: Here's a lemur mouse.

Cristina: Is it a mouse though?

Jack: Or is it a lemur?

Cristina: No. Is a lemur a type of mouse?

Jack: I guess.

Cristina: Not a mouse. I wrote it. No, lemurs are monkeys.

Jack: Lemurs are monkeys.

Cristina: I don't know. Lemurs are primates.

Jack: They're what? They are monkeys. They're not monkeys, but, you know, primates.

Cristina: Close enough. But then what is that that we're looking at? Is that a monkey or is that a rat?

Jack: So what is. I mean, we know what a mouse.

Cristina: Is, but is it calling it like a mouse sized lemur or a lemur sized mouse? Like, what's going on?

Jack: It looks. It looks like a rodent does.

Cristina: Yeah. They come from the same place. Madagascar.

Jack: Fascinating.

Cristina: What?

Jack: So this is another primate like the marmoset. Whoa. Whoa.

Cristina: They're so strange. They're so tiny. There's something about being so tiny that they don't look like what they're supposed to be.

Jack: Yes. They become some whole other thing.

Cristina: Yes. What?

Jack: This here is a bee. Hummingbird.

Cristina: Bee hummingbird. Oh my gosh.

Jack: It could be 2 inches tall.

Cristina: What? But hummingbirds are tiny birds, right? Or they're big hummingbirds.

Jack: Like they're already. Yeah, they're already Pretty small.

Cristina: Yeah. And these are just the smallest of the small?

Jack: Yeah, they're the tiniest of the tiny.

Cristina: Aw, they're so cute and colorful.

Jack: Oh yeah. I guess most birds have that ability. Isn't that interesting? Now here's something fascinating. The marmoset, the pygmy marmoset can live up to 12 years. You know primates, nice long lives. I guess that's not really long compared to like a dog or something. And then the mouse lemur does six to eight years. You know, it's tiny, it's a little short, it died quick. But then this, the bee, hummingbird, it does seven to 10 years.

Cristina: Seven to 10 years.

Jack: So this bird lives about as long as that rat, Monkey, what? Actually maybe a little longer. On the flip side, so does. What is it called? Parrots. Parrots have absurdly long lives. Parrots have really, really, really, really long lives.

Cristina: How long?

Jack: Like 30 years maybe.

Cristina: They're big.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay, but how long was this one? Two years. Ten years.

Jack: Seven to ten.

Cristina: Seven to ten. Oh.

Jack: Now here is a hognose bat.

Cristina: Oh my gosh, I can't see its nose. Hog nose bat.

Jack: Yes. And it is about an inch.

Cristina: What is that the smallest animal?

Jack: No, but it's a pretty small one.

Cristina: Does that also live a very short life?

Jack: Five to 10 years.

Cristina: Five to 10.

Jack: Five to 10 years. But that's not the smallest. We enter something much smaller, the tardigrade.

Cristina: But is that an animal?

Jack: Yes, it's counted as one of the smallest animals.

Cristina: But what is it counted as exactly?

Jack: Yeah, it's an animal. Like what, what do you mean like.

Cristina: What kind of animal?

Jack: I forget the name of that. There's. It's something.

Cristina: An insect?

Jack: No, no, it's an animal. It's a type of animal. A phylum. I'm assuming that says phylum.

Cristina: What is a film.

Jack: That'S hard to grade is a phylum, phelim of 8.

Cristina: Legged segmented micro animals. What does that even mean? What does that even mean?

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: What are micro animals? So this isn't the only micro animal?

Jack: No, there's this thing right here.

Cristina: Oh my gosh, that's horrifying.

Jack: This one's microscopic.

Cristina: Okay, so it's. But the, the, what was the last one?

Jack: The tardigrade.

Cristina: Tardigrade is also microscopic.

Jack: It's so small it's hard to see.

Cristina: But it's not microscopic.

Jack: You can. It's like on the edge. It's as close as small as you can get before you're microscopic.

Cristina: Okay. Everything microscopic is scary.

Jack: Oh, yeah. And everything macroscopic is too.

Cristina: Yeah, I know. Which is more horrifying? I don't know. These might.

Jack: And everything. Anything in any extreme is crazy. I think of really, really old, unevolved animals. Like when we're traveling the depths of the ocean to the crap that survives all the meteor nonsense that happened.

Cristina: Disturbing.

Jack: Yeah. It's like monsters down there. And it's because any extreme is too alien from the norm.

Cristina: What is that one called, though?

Jack: Loricifera.

Cristina: It's beautiful. It's scary, but beautiful.

Jack: Yeah. It's like an octopus flower thing.

Cristina: Yeah. It looks like a flower vase or something. Yeah.

Jack: It's not even an octopus. Like a squid. Like a squid vase, plant thing.

Cristina: Yeah, it's. It's so alien. It's hard to imagine that that's a living thing. That's an animal too.

Jack: That is an animal.

Cristina: What?

Jack: And it's in the same category as a tardigrade. They're in the same species to some degree. Not species, I guess. Yeah.

Cristina: Type of. Whatever they are or whatever people.

Jack: Genus. Genus. Not the best, but you get my point. Now you were asking about size. I jumped to small. Well, let me tell you what some of the smarter, bigger things are, okay. The African elephant is a freaking giant.

Cristina: Yes. Well, is it bigger than. How big is it from a regular elephant? Because those are big, aren't they?

Jack: Yeah, regular elephants are pretty big. Fair enough. I'm assuming this is a significant uptick. Look at that.

Cristina: Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That's a person next to the elephant. Oh, my gosh. Powering him.

Jack: Yeah. And elephants are significantly intelligent. Like, they're pretty smart.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So elephant. African elephants on average can get up to 10ft tall. That's two humans standing on top. Two five foot individuals standing one on top of the other.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Counting from its shoulders. Not its head.

Cristina: His shoulders at its head.

Jack: Yes. From where its shoulders hit their peak as opposed to where its head does.

Cristina: Where do you think its head reaches?

Jack: With its head up, it has to be like 13ft.

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: But 10ft is where it's at and it can be up to £13,000.

Cristina: How. How much does it have to eat to be like that?

Jack: Probably a lot.

Cristina: That's crazy.

Jack: Just crap ton of pounds all day eating, I guess, if they. If people give them. No, they have. I don't know, man. How did an elephant survive in. Oh, no. It eats fruits, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it eats plants.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is it just really efficient at processing things very slowly and sucking out all the nutrients Maybe really developed internal system.

Cristina: Humongous.

Jack: Yeah, that's pretty much like the big intelligent one. But there's a bunch of really big animals and a bunch of really intelligent animals.

Cristina: Okay, let's go with the big ones.

Jack: Out of the big ones outside of the elephant, that's a huge, huge, huge, crazy thing. And the, if you remember from last week, the 13 foot freakin hippo.

Cristina: Long.

Jack: 13Ft long?

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Something that's just tall in general. Is the, the ostrich the biggest bird?

Cristina: I think.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: I think it also has the biggest eyes a bird can have like a ratio, right?

Jack: Yeah, yeah. Eyes to body ratio. They're huge freaking eyes. But despite its crazy height, it's still like incredibly light.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: It's still a bird?

Cristina: Yeah. It's so fragile looking with its legs. Like how is that leg carrying? I mean feathers don't weigh much.

Jack: Yeah, there's no weight. It's carrying no weight.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: But this allows it to be crazy fast.

Cristina: How fast? Like cheetah fast? No, they can run up to 30, 30 to 37 miles per hour and sprint up to 43 miles per hour.

Jack: It's like in a straight shot, 43 miles per hour.

Cristina: Can you outrun it?

Jack: No. I think the fastest human speed ever recorded could not compete with that. Yeah, I'm like super sure the fastest human goes max way too low. I'll give it. I don't even know what would be average. Like 13 miles per hour. So what does it say? The average is 8 miles per hour.

Cristina: Men 8 hour, 8 miles per hour, females 6.5 miles per hour.

Jack: But the fastest human ever, some dude called Bolt. And he hit 27 miles per hour.

Cristina: 27 miles per hour.

Jack: That's a colossal difference between the average and this guy.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And that being said, he will still get cracked on by that.

Cristina: The ostrich.

Jack: By the ostrich.

Cristina: Yeah. Yeah.

Jack: This is way faster than I thought it was. And still the ostrich is winning. Yeah, by like quite a bit. The ostrich will get some car lengths on this person. I'm the fastest human ever. But that ain't crap because like there's a bunch of crazy fast animals like a gazelle. A Gazelle could hit 60 miles per hour.

Cristina: 60 miles per hour just running.

Jack: Sprint into 60 miles per hour.

Cristina: How much would that hurt if that ran into you?

Jack: Probably a lot. Like, I'm sure these things have totaled cars in the past.

Cristina: Whoa. That's crazy. That's pretty fast.

Jack: Also, gazelles are the most elegant of the deer, right?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: They Look. Beautiful. They're like the cat of the deer.

Cristina: Yes, I think so. They're not the biggest or smallest deer, are they?

Jack: No, they're like somewhere in the middle. They're the most deer sized of the deer.

Cristina: I bet if we find the smallest deer, it'd be the cutest deer.

Jack: It microdeers.

Cristina: A micro deer. What if there is a micro deer?

Jack: There's probably such a thing as a micro deer. This is micro everything at this point.

Cristina: Ah, so cute. It's so ridiculously dumb looking.

Jack: Yeah, it looks like kind of like a. It's the pug of the deer.

Cristina: It is so cute. It is too cute. I don't even know how you say its name. Pudu.

Jack: It looks so innocent.

Cristina: It looks so innocent. Oh my gosh. Look at this one with his tongue sticking out. Look at this one. That looks so crazy. That does not look real. What? What?

Jack: Weird. Weird.

Cristina: They have horns. Look at those horns. It doesn't look real.

Jack: Tiny little horns.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And that's just a micro deer.

Cristina: Yeah, but not as elegant as. What was the deer that we were talking about?

Jack: The gazelle.

Cristina: The gazelle? No, the gazelle.

Jack: Yeah. Well, the gazelle is incredibly fast. But the gazelle is not the fastest animal yet. That would be the cheetah. Actually. That's wrong. But that's. We're talking land animals.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Because the cheetah could hit like 70 miles per hour.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Think about how much faster than the gazelle that is. That's a whole 10 miles per hour on it.

Cristina: That is ridiculous.

Jack: That's like a. That's a nice close race basically.

Cristina: Right.

Jack: Like the gazelle's getting away, but slowly the cheetahs catching them.

Cristina: And it does.

Jack: It does.

Cristina: Okay, better. But what's the fastest animal?

Jack: Well, faster than the cheetah is.

Cristina: Is there a bird?

Jack: The golden eagle.

Cristina: Oh my gosh. I was gonna say.

Jack: Yeah. The golden Eagle does about 200 miles per hour.

Cristina: How?

Jack: Flight, man.

Cristina: What was it?

Jack: The advantages of gravity?

Cristina: The golden eagle, 200 miles per hour. Whoa. It makes sense that a bird would be very fast. Like.

Jack: Yeah, right. Because you're in the sky, you have way less resistance in water or the treacherous energy cost of like propelling yourself forward on ground.

Cristina: That is so ridiculous. What? Is there something faster?

Jack: There is a bird that's faster than that bird yet.

Cristina: Faster by much?

Jack: No, by a significant amount.

Cristina: Really? Yeah.

Jack: So the peregrine falcon does 240 mph. That eagle couldn't pretend it could catch this bird.

Cristina: Well, do you know the size comparison to these birds?

Jack: No, I do not.

Cristina: But the golden eagle is bigger. It's 2 to 7 to 33 inches, while the falcon is 14 to 19 inches. And that falcon is one of the largest falcons in North America. Well, I guess in North America. That doesn't help. That doesn't help.

Jack: North America is huge, though.

Cristina: So I'm gonna say the golden eagle wins.

Jack: What? In size? Yeah, yeah, it's like. What is it, two? The falcon is two thirds the size of the eagle.

Cristina: Okay, but. And the eagle is faster, right?

Jack: No, no, the falcon is faster than the eagle. Yeah, the falcon has 40 miles per hour on the eagle.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: So that size is, like, beneficial. Now, do you know what the smartest animals are?

Cristina: Human. Human. I don't know.

Jack: Yeah, we have to be. Right. Like, that's default. Humans are the. As far as we know, until we can bridge communication with dolphins, we'll never know.

Cristina: Dolphins have to be up there.

Jack: I'm pretty sure they're second place. I'm convinced. You think jellyfish are like gods?

Cristina: There's nothing going on in a jellyfish.

Jack: The. The ocean spirit.

Cristina: The ocean spirit. Oh, it does have that view.

Jack: I guess the glowing ones do.

Cristina: Yeah, that's pretty cool. But the smartest.

Jack: Yeah, I mean, there's some obvious winners.

Cristina: Like what?

Jack: Like an elephant?

Cristina: Like an elephant. Yes, for sure. And I guess a hippo. Are they or are they just vicious?

Jack: Well, they categorize under pigs, and pigs are highly intelligent.

Cristina: Oh. Spiders seem pretty smart.

Jack: Spiders. intellect is hard to judge in a spider.

Jack: Definitely nothing notable.

Cristina: Nothing notable.

Jack: Nothing notable.

Cristina: Are other monkeys as smart as this?

Jack: Yes. Chimpanzees. I mean, not as smart as smart. Chimpanzees are pretty smart. They're up there.

Cristina: They're up there.

Jack: Yeah. They're some of the smartest animals. If not the smartest animals, there's an.

Cristina: Animal that can fight a snake. I feel like they might be really smart. I don't know.

Jack: An animal that could fight a snake.

Cristina: Yeah, like a poisonous snake. Like it's become immune to the poison.

Jack: The mongoose.

Cristina: Is it a mongoose? Maybe it's not. Maybe it's just vicious. Vicious and smart are not the same, are they?

Jack: Yeah, no, it fights them because it's immune to the snake's venom or something.

Cristina: Yeah, but how did it become immune? It's gotta have lost a long time.

Jack: There was a crazy war with an absurd body count.

Cristina: Yeah, but does that make it smart?

Jack: No, it makes sense.

Cristina: Because it adapted.

Jack: No, that's just natural. Selection.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: If the snakes were gonna be a problem, only the ones who wouldn't have a problem with the snake would survive.

Cristina: You think snakes are smart?

Jack: Depends on the snake. And also reptiles seem to have a lack of reasoning. There's no like puzzles, like there's no amazing puzzle solving. Reptile. No, but there's something about a reptile that seems illogical, entirely instinctive. Thus cold hearted or cold blooded?

Cristina: Cold blooded. What do you mean illogical?

Jack: Yeah, they seem, they don't, there's, there's no gears turning, I guess, but I.

Cristina: Feel like they don't need gears turning because they've adapted it so well that like everything is easy for them. They figured out life, I suppose.

Jack: Well, not really. That's. They need to be around water because they, they're so primitive. Their body doesn't even regulate heat properly.

Cristina: Are alligators counted as that?

Jack: Yeah, yeah.

Cristina: Like, come on, they, they got an easy life. They look very happy. They don't look happy.

Jack: I don't think they could tell. Happiness.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's probably real basic functions going on, like pain, pleasure, hunger, just basic things.

Cristina: So that wouldn't be intelligent.

Jack: Yeah, I don't think it would fall under like intelligent bees. No. But parrots.

Cristina: Parrots. Okay.

Jack: And crows, like ravens.

Cristina: Of course. Ravens.

Jack: And yeah. Actually out of the birds, ravens are at the top.

Cristina: But they're not number one. Out of the birds there they are number one. Okay. Do you think ants are intelligent?

Jack: Yeah, I think ants are a complicated thing because they, they have a collective.

Cristina: Mind, so you can't really count that.

Jack: Yeah. Cuz not like one ant won't get anything accomplished. No, but government goes a long way and ants have government and they could.

Cristina: Like, they can make crazy decisions together and stuff.

Jack: Yeah, they're unity. Yeah, it's communism. Well, it's a dictatorship and it is communism. Actually, it's both. Yeah. Oh, wow, that's weird. Ants live in communist societies, as do bees.

Cristina: They're living the same lives pretty much.

Jack: Well, actually, I think in both those cases those are fascist societies in which a small percent get the majority of the goods and make all the decisions.

Cristina: Yes, one.

Jack: Yeah, those are, Are those fascists?

Cristina: Buffaloes are pretty smart.

Jack: Buffaloes, yeah.

Cristina: Do you know the African buffaloes can practice democracy? They practice voting. They vote on things, man.

Jack: Like what?

Cristina: like on where to go and stuff. Like the adult females get together and like, I guess there's physical cues. Like they might all like look at one way and the others look at that way and then, you know, like if there was two roads, they had to choose. They get together and, you know, all faced one way. Then everyone's like, okay, that's the winner.

Jack: Interesting, interesting. I wonder if everybody tried to vote at the same time. They wouldn't see anybody else's vote.

Cristina: Well, it's only the females voting, so the. The rest of the party. The older females. So the rest of the party would be watching to see who wins.

Jack: Oh, interesting.

Cristina: I'm guessing that's how it works.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Democracy at play.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Fantastic.

Cristina: That's pretty smart.

Jack: Yeah, it's clever. I've heard of that before. Humans can't even figure that out.

Cristina: No. So that's interesting. Although it's just one specifically, we couldn't do that because everyone has to vote. That's the only way.

Jack: Yeah, everybody has to vote. As opposed to just the educated ones. We all don't want to be the dumb ones. That's all it is. Interesting enough, dolphins have an IQ equal to humans.

Cristina: Equal?

Jack: Equal.

Cristina: Like average.

Jack: Yes. So the average IQ is about 100 for humans, and the average IQ for dolphin is about 100. All right, so their intellect is about the same. And this goes into considering the fact that we. Again, we can't figure out the language of these creatures, but we know that they have policing systems and they have debates and they have trolls and they have.

Cristina: They probably have a higher iq. It's impossible to tell.

Jack: I mean, they have the added advantage that they can convey literal imagery to one another, as seen. That's absurd. They could send a sound that's gonna replicate in the head of the other one, all the visuals.

Cristina: How do you beat that?

Jack: That's crazy. That's just an ability that, by default, must make their understanding of navigating through the world more refined than ours.

Cristina: Another thing that they have is almost equal. Not almost equal, but a pretty high EQ, which is emotional intelligence. We're at a 7.4. They're at a 5.3, which is way higher than other animals. I don't know what the list is like of every animal.

Jack: Yeah, but that wouldn't even matter anyways because all we need is, like, the ones up there. Unless there's an animal with more emotional intelligence than a dolphin. But I also don't see how that would be beneficial to survival. It feels like it's something that would get in the way long term.

Cristina: I don't know. I mean, it has to be high for. I'm guessing, animals that have communities. It would be high.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: Because you got to get along with other animals in that community.

Jack: Fair enough. But what if animals are just intellectually gonna follow a hierarchy that establishes itself based on like, power, for example, Then you don't need to care about emotions because there is stability here.

Cristina: That's probably ants and bees.

Jack: Fair enough. Fascism.

Cristina: So I don't know even like wolf packs. That's family. That's the parents leading the pack.

Jack: Interesting. Yes.

Cristina: And even lions, it's the strongest. But there's got to be some emotional bond there too.

Jack: Yeah. And it's still family.

Cristina: Still family, yeah.

Jack: Yeah. A lot of time. Creatures with like the powerful creatures are all very family creatures, so it's.

Cristina: It's gotta help out in some ways. So they're the smartest? Not the smartest. Well, the smartest in the water, definitely.

Jack: Who?

Cristina: Dolphins.

Jack: Dolphins smartest in the water for sure. And I think the smartest on in land has to be the chimpanzee.

Cristina: Besides us.

Jack: Besides us.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Other. Other creatures. Other than us. Where obviously our intelligence meter forces all other creatures. Us and dolphins, we just force everything down to the point that it seems uninterrupted. We question consciousness in these creatures from how below us the intellect level up.

Cristina: And the smartest bird is like nothing compared to the smartest mammal.

Jack: Oh, no, that's a. That's a crazy gap. Yes. The smartest bird. We would crap on the smartest bird.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The smartest bird is like a raven or something. And the IQ of a raven is still not like an absurdly high iq.

Cristina: We compare that to children or something.

Jack: Yeah. Do you know what the most dangerous animals are besides the hill?

Cristina: Is that a trick question? Human, probably.

Jack: Humans should definitely be up there.

Cristina: That's.

Jack: That's mainly about how many murders happen. Yeah, but it's crazy because, okay, we would calculate something dangerous based on how many times it kills a human. That's how we calculate danger. How much. Which is. I guess every animal thinks like that, right? Things are dangerous if they hurt my species.

Cristina: So if we do, we don't count just us. What about. There's that bug. It destroys everything in its sights. It's in the Bible.

Jack: Locust.

Cristina: Locust, yes. Come on. That's dangerous.

Jack: But I don't think it has direct body count. I think what it does affects people.

Cristina: Yes, but I'm not talking about what it does to people. It's destroys plants, those lives dead. Like it's destroying everything in its way. All the food. Yeah, in that area, yeah.

Jack: Interesting way to consider body count. Yeah, but what about things with blood count? Anything with blood is the only thing we can. Mosquitoes. H*** yes. For a fact, mosquitoes are number one. They're the kingpin of murder.

Cristina: Really? Yes. Because they carry mad diseases and then they're just spreading it while they're drinking from you. Is that what's happening?

Jack: Yeah, to some degree. Mosquitoes are by far. They're huge. They're up there with about a million deaths by mosquito per year.

Cristina: That makes sense. And it's all just from like something so simple, like you don't even see it coming.

Jack: Nope.

Cristina: You just feel it and it's not even painful. It's the least painful death.

Jack: I'm guessing a random little oh, wow, that was annoying.

Cristina: Or a little buzz and then you're.

Jack: Just dead before you know it.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Million a year.

Cristina: A million. Do they kill animals too?

Jack: Yeah, probably. There's a bunch of different types of mosquitoes, I'm sure.

Cristina: So is that the deadliest creature alive or just one of the deadliest?

Jack: That's the deadliest. But there's a bunch of other options going on too. Snakes are pretty up there. They got about 100,000 deaths a year.

Cristina: Is it all types of snakes?

Jack: Yes, otherwise I would specify.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It's just the general.

Cristina: Alright. Because they all kill in such different ways.

Jack: Yes. But if you're like the black mamba, the most dangerous thing, probably, you know, like three people a year or some crap.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: You know, you just generalize it. But like we would have very different numbers if we were just talking about mosquitoes as well and specify it on any type of mosquito. Because it'd be like, well, mosquitoes, they have this very specific kind of thing going on as opposed to the ones that are responsible for. But I guess a lot of mosquitoes aren't even responsible again, because it's. They affect people with how they do.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This person has this thing, bit them, I took it to that person, gave it to them, that person dies. We're blame the mosquito. Those amount of deaths probably make up a lot of them.

Cristina: Yes, yes. That's a lot.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: But when it comes to snakes, it's a whole different thing going on.

Jack: Yeah, they're actively attacking and that's 100,000.

Cristina: 100,000. What was the mosquito again? Million.

Jack: A million.

Cristina: Whoa. What numbers.

Jack: Crazy leap, right? Mosquitoes take 10 times the lives that snakes do.

Cristina: Is there like the most dangerous sea animal?

Jack: The most dangerous sea animal. That's probably just a dolphin and you're.

Cristina: And okay, so the snake is the most dangerous. The second one is the snake. Right after you said that.

Jack: Twice.

Cristina: Oh, the mosquito. The mosquitoes are most dangerous. Then it's the snake.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Then what comes after that?

Jack: Dogs. What dogs have 30,000 kills?

Cristina: More than, like, wolves, dogs? Like pets?

Jack: No, all dogs. These are generalizations.

Cristina: Lame list. Okay.

Jack: If it was just wolves, it would be like five a year, I guess.

Cristina: But, like, what are they considering how they're being killed? Like, are these dogs with, like, the rabies kill?

Jack: No, I'm sure it's like a dog murdering a person.

Cristina: These are human deaths.

Jack: Yeah, Everything is calculated by how many humans they kill.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Oh, there's probably dogs killing their owners, though.

Jack: Yeah. There's so many dogs. There's billions of people. Definitely. But now, being dangerous and having a huge body count doesn't mean being the most dangerous, really. It just means things that could mess you up and don't are kind.

Cristina: What do you mean?

Jack: Some animals got quite like a body weight on the dangerous animals. So, yeah, something might have a crazy high body count, like a mosquito, but something really, really big could eat millions and trillions of mosquitoes all at the same time. You know, I guess, like, look at the size of this bear.

Cristina: That's a huge bear.

Jack: That's a grizzly bear.

Cristina: Grizzly bear. Probably not the killer like the mosquito. No, no, but it's huge.

Jack: It's ridiculous.

Cristina: I think polar bears are also really big bears.

Jack: Yeah. The small bears are the black bears.

Cristina: That's ridiculous.

Jack: But this, this is huge. This is two humans. But it's still kind of nothing when you consider the size of the blue.

Cristina: Whale the largest animal.

Jack: The largest animal ever. I was looking at this and, like, I'm like, yeah, largest animal alive. And I look online to make sure and it's like, it's the largest animal to have ever been recorded in any period of time. There's no dinosaur that was larger. What little dinosaur, the largest creature ever recorded in all of time exists at this moment. And we're from. Well, to some degree familiar with it.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: The giant creature that, like, only eats planktons or something.

Jack: Yep. The blue whale, the largest creature ever recorded.

Cristina: Why is it so large?

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: How large is it?

Jack: Almost a hundred feet long.

Cristina: How. How many buses is that?

Jack: That's a really good question. Those are school buses. Okay. It looks like almost three school buses. No, it's two and a half. Right?

Cristina: Two and a half.

Jack: Yeah, it's two and a half school buses. Long.

Cristina: Well, the biggest they've ever recorded of the blue rare. Like, I'm guessing that's the Average.

Jack: Oh, yeah. So the average is about two school.

Cristina: Buses worth, but the biggest we've ever recorded.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: And like, this is the most massive animal because also weight. You get my point.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We also, like, counts in here because it's 400. It's over, actually. Over £400,000.

Cristina: Is there even any animal close to that weight?

Jack: No.

Cristina: That's so crazy.

Jack: I think the next heaviest thing is the elephant.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And the elephant just comes in at £13,000, next to £400,000.

Cristina: Wow. It's so long. It's so big. So it's a record breaking animal in many ways.

Jack: Yeah, in almost all the ways.

Cristina: Wow. It's so big. How is there more than one of those things in the ocean?

Jack: That's how big the ocean is. The ocean is so freaking huge, it's rare to see one.

Cristina: Well, is it really? That's crazy.

Jack: They're so huge and the ocean goes so deep and it's still incredibly shallow, next to, like, the depths of earth.

Cristina: But blue whales aren't hanging out down there, are they?

Jack: I wonder. I wonder how. I mean, blue whales are relatively safe creatures. There isn't anything. They have no predators.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: You think they have. You think there's something out there killing blue whales?

Cristina: Dolphins, yeah.

Jack: My bed is dolphins.

Cristina: Wasn't it the orca or something?

Jack: They kill blue whales.

Cristina: Baby ones, probably.

Jack: That's fair. That sounds like the animal kingdom to me.

Cristina: All right, so it's a pack of orcas and they can only prey on the little ones.

Jack: So, like, an adult blue whale is good.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah.

Jack: And it's crazy because for a baby, it still takes a bunch of them.

Cristina: Yes. So these large pack of them.

Jack: Yeah. The killer whale. The orca is a dolphin.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That name is confusing, though, because it's not a whale.

Cristina: Is a dolphin just a whale?

Jack: No, no, a dolphin isn't a whale.

Cristina: A dolphin is a whale.

Jack: How is a dolphin a whale?

Cristina: They're part of the same family. I don't know how to pronounce it. Cetaceans.

Jack: Norwell, that's a. Yeah, but if they're both part of that family, then they're both cetaceans. Not both whales or dolphins. One is a whale and one is a dolphin. And all whales aren't dolphins. And all dolphins aren't whales. But they're all cetaceans.

Cristina: Are all. I mean, dolphins. Are you sure? Dolphins are not whales, but.

Jack: No, they're not in the same family.

Cristina: They're not?

Jack: No.

Cristina: So they're related.

Jack: Whales don't have teeth. Dolphins do. That's the difference.

Cristina: But the giant, the giant whale, the blue whale has teeth.

Jack: The blue whale doesn't have teeth.

Cristina: Yes, it does.

Jack: No, the blue whale doesn't have teeth.

Cristina: It doesn't?

Jack: No.

Cristina: I read that they have a bunch of teeth.

Jack: They have some equivalent, but they don't have teeth.

Cristina: Oh, I guess they don't have teeth.

Jack: No, they're not dolphins. Dolphins have teeth.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They're both the same thing, except some are toothed whales and others are non toothed whales. And toothed whales are.

Cristina: Dolphins are monsters. Okay. While non toothed whales are gentle.

Jack: It's crazy that, man, there's something wrong with dolphins. It's crazy that these like the bigger dolphins are out here hunting whales to begin with. Although they would get bodied by the full sized whale.

Cristina: Definitely. That thing is huge. It could eat, like if it could eat, how many of them could it eat?

Jack: It could just eat its enemies in one shot.

Cristina: Oh, that's the biggest thing on earth. Well, living thing.

Jack: Yep. I mean, look at its size. That's a boat down there with people, with a bunch of people. And that whale is like three times the size of that boat.

Cristina: Yeah. That's amazing being next to that thing. What?

Jack: Yeah, it's crazy huge.

Cristina: Wow. Well, those are a bunch of animals next to it.

Jack: Yeah, next to the blue whale. Look at the killer whale, how small it is as compared to the blue whale.

Cristina: Yeah. And that dinosaur with a long neck. How big was that thing?

Jack: Well, based on this size, not too crazy. It was definitely just about taller than the mammoth. And the mammoth was about 14ft. So this was from the shoulders about 17, 18ft tall.

Cristina: Well, that beats a giraffe, right? How tall does the giraffe get?

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: The giraffe gets 16 to 19 inches tall. Inches. Feet, Sorry, feet tall. That'd be crazy. This is the world's smallest giraffe. That is 16 and 19. That has to be the tallest creature, right?

Jack: Yeah, Tall, but not the most massive, but yes, definitely the tallest.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But its height is nothing compared to the whale's length.

Cristina: No. It's hard to imagine. There's not many things. You can't compare any animals. It's probably like. What was it again, the length? 100ft.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: That's a lot of giraffes. That's 20 giraffes on top of each other.

Jack: Just looking at the size comparison, it's crazy that the mammoth was still taller than the T. Rex. Like we think of the T. Rex way bigger than it really is. Because I guess we pictured the T. Rex a lot like Jurassic park tried to show us. It looked like. Yeah, but no, it's way smaller than that.

Cristina: But the T. Rex wasn't the biggest carnivore dinosaur either.

Jack: No, there's probably bigger badder ones. There's just some advantage. Maybe it wasn't even a successful one. For whatever reason, humans just have an.

Cristina: Obsession with it because of its ridiculous tiny.

Jack: Well no, people think it's cool. Oh, T. Rexes are cool. They're so edgy.

Cristina: I don't get why kangaroos aren't cool like that.

Jack: Kangaroos aren't cool at all. People laugh at kangaroos. They think they're buff, buff dummies.

Cristina: But they also have tiny tiny T. Rex arms. T. Rex arms. But they have the ability to like hop very far, I think.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: So that beats a T. Rex.

Jack: Maybe a T. Rex could jump really far too.

Cristina: That would be insane.

Jack: What if one is the natural evolution of the other?

Cristina: A T. Rex to a kangaroo?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Well, I don't know anywho.

Jack: Definitely. As we discussed last week, I guess the blue whale was our conclusion before it was the largest, right? Yeah, but the elephant is also like land wise the most massive. Even if the whale will body an elephant overall.

Cristina: But we didn't talk about the most dangerous or we talked about like.

Jack: No, the literal most dangerous is the mosquito and then the snake.

Cristina: Pretty crazy.

Jack: And all those tiny animals, little fuzzy tiny thingies. Which two of our primates.

Cristina: Mm. We learned a lot about animals this week. More than last week.

Jack: Yes, because last week it was the power of Google. Now we went in a little further which ended up in the same conclusion. That blue whales are the champions of size and definitely mass and probably power, all things considered. Effortlessly.

Cristina: Yes. And what was the fastest friggin bird?

Jack: It was a hawk or. No, it was a falcon that goes 240 miles per hour.

Cristina: Wait, did we talk about what water animal goes the fastest?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Do you know?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Oh no. Okay.

Jack: We have no idea. But anyways, if you guys enjoyed finding out about these animals, you can find out the conversation that promoted this in the first place, which was last week when we were just googling animals. So you can go check that out and I guess posts, I guess follows look primarily just follow social medias. You know you can find us on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, usconvopod.

Cristina: Remember to subscribe, rate and review the show.

Jack: Yeah, reviews are amazing. Leave us some.

Cristina: And that someone who might like this.

Jack: Show know about it, word of mouth. Always. Great. Tell people about the show and they will come and listen with you.

Cristina: Yes. This has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: Do they have flat earth? There's.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: That makes it sound like they're like, I don't know, type of alien. Like there's regular earth, there's. And then there's the flat earthers. Like they look flat or something.

Jack: Oh, yeah, Yeah, I see what you mean. But now. So, yeah, that's how Martin Luther King are related. Is related to penguins.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Because of that one interesting incident. Only because penguins. Could civil rights laws be passed in the first place.

Cristina: That's crazy.

Jack: Yeah. Penguins allowing the message to get across. After Linden Johnson talked to the penguins, telling them what message needed to be delivered and then being like, okay, we agree this message should get across, but.

Cristina: How many other things were penguins involved with?

Jack: Anything that involves the wall. Yeah, whatever that would be. Whatever somebody going through the wall would be that you interact with penguins.

Cristina: But is then this one the biggest thing that they're involved with and that's why their holiday is right next to it?

Jack: Probably not. There's probably bigger things because why would.

Cristina: They pick that day, though?

Jack: Who picked it?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: Whoever picked it assume it happened at random.

Cristina: They just picked a random date for them. Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 195: Volcano Diving

What is a volcano? Where is a volcano? Who is a volcano? The duo unpack to Volcano or not to Volcano after last week’s episode posed the question of whether volcano diving could be a thing. But the can of worms opened in this investigation is astoundingly new and absurdly familiar, leading to a conclusion no one could have imagined!

Rambling 195: Volcano Diving

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed:

  • Volcano Diving
  • Cherufe Volcano Monster
  • Virgin Sacrifice
  • Magma Flamingos
  • Steam Iguanas
  • How do Volcanoes Work?
  • Earth’s Skin and Heart
  • Magma Chamber
  • Shapeshifters
  • Volcanic Eco System

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: welcome to the Rambling Podcast, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. I am your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I am your host, Christina.

Jack: Now, Christina, your other. The host, Christina, listen to me. Last week on Dragon Ball Z, we were talking about the possibility of a person volcano diving. Because they dropped something in a volcano.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah. So I thought it was really interesting and I wanted to know what the possibilities of that were. The possibility of just going inside of a volcano and not dying.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: So in doing so, you know, got the team together and we were like, what do we know about volcanoes?

Cristina: They're hot.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, they're definitely hot. But somebody raises their hand and says, well, we can ask the creature we got from there.

Cristina: Getting creature from there.

Jack: Yeah. I don't even remember this ever happening. But there's other. Apparently. I mean, yes, obviously there's other quests and s*** that happen that we're not really like, touching. So there's other crap that has like, it. You gotta understand, to listeners, it sounds like we are exclusively the only ones do it. But no, not really. We're two of quite a few Pokemon trainers.

Cristina: I don't know, like, we're just catching them all.

Jack: No. People who work for in this line of business and are the types of people that we are.

Cristina: We're not enslaving all these creatures though, right? We're.

Jack: We don't. Would require us to give them jobs that they aren't getting paid for.

Cristina: Are they getting paid?

Jack: No. Why would we be paying them? We also don't have. They're not doing labor for what?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: These creatures were testing and experimenting on figuring out what the h*** they are. That is the old. What would we pay them for?

Cristina: We're testing them. We're doing experiments on them.

Jack: Yes. Not like school tests. Can you read?

Cristina: No.

Jack: Like experiments. Yes. They're just creatures. It's like a dog or some s***.

Cristina: If you were to test against their will, though.

Jack: If. Okay, presumably, I guess. But like, let's say you're gonna run an experiment about cancer and you caught a rat and you're gonna use the chemicals you got on the rat. Did you get the rat's permission?

Cristina: No.

Jack: Then what is the problem? What am I missing?

Cristina: Some of these creatures aren't like rats. They're equal to like us, aren't they?

Jack: Right. And this creature is.

Cristina: Which creature?

Jack: The creature. I've not even mentioned. Which is how the point is here. Exactly.

Cristina: Well, I'm just talking about the creatures because you said we have. We talk to many creatures. Yeah, yeah.

Jack: And so we have this creature to communicate with about things that are happening.

Cristina: What's the creature?

Jack: Well, the creature I will get to is a creature that lives in a volcano or used to live in a volcano, which is the point I'm ultimately trying to make. That we have information about what happens inside of a volcano was what I was ultimately trying to circle back to. And that kind of serves the idea. So I didn't really know we had a creature that lived in a volcano. So I kind of immediately stopped giving a s*** about my original plan, which was to find out about the possibilities of living inside of a volcano. Because question answered, yes, things live inside of a volcano.

Cristina: Many things. Does this creature know of other creatures, or is this like one of a race of creatures?

Jack: There's different types of things living on volcanoes, but there's essentially this one creature is called a Sharuf or a. It's a Sharuf, I guess. And so it's. It's kind of like if you were to play Legend of Zelda and you were to go to Death Mountain and there's like, rock people.

Cristina: It's a rock person.

Jack: Well, I said it's kind of like, because it's also a glass person, it's made out of magma rock and, like, glass and stuff, which is all the stuff that exists in a volcano.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And so this creature is made out of that stuff. And I was like, okay, so it's weird that we've not talked about this before. I know. We don't get told everything that happens. Like, what would be the point, right? We just do our jobs, they do their jobs, whatever. But, like, that's interesting. And I didn't know about the thing, so we got this thing, and it's just made out of it leaves. It lives in the water part, like the pool. Like the literal lava section of the volcano.

Cristina: In the lava.

Jack: In the lava. Like it. Not in it, but like, it walks. It's. It could swim in it.

Cristina: And what part of the world is this thing from?

Jack: Any volcano.

Cristina: Any volcano.

Jack: It's a volcano creature.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They just exist in volcanoes.

Cristina: But what people spread this story of this creature that they know about.

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Where did this story come from? This creature.

Jack: This didn't come from the store. This creation come from a story. This creature just. We have it in one of our facilities. And I found out when I Was asking about it.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And so we just got this thing sitting there, and it's from the inside of a volcano. I don't. What group of people shared stories of them? I'm sure that, like, there's different, definitely weird things that have happened. For example, it used to scare people in ancient times. And then we've actually sort of talked about this creature in the past without even knowing, because we have heard stories, but the stories aren't necessarily tied to any specific culture over these stories. Well, we're very familiar with the people who take virgins to the mouth of a volcano and throw them in. And that's because that's kind of the only way to stop this creature from leaving the f****** volcano and coming and killing everybody in the town. Because it eats flesh. But if you give it this really potent virgin flesh, it's good for a while.

Cristina: What? That's how it works. Yeah.

Jack: So that actually explains how we had the whole, you know, toss a virgin in there to please the God thing. It's too totally not a God. It's just not a s*** that lives in there.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: This is a monster of some sort.

Cristina: But they're treating it as a God.

Jack: They didn't know what the f*** it was back then. Now we know, and we just easily captured to the point that it was like some afterthought we never heard about.

Cristina: Does the version have to be a woman? Can it be an animal?

Jack: I haven't the slightest clue.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: I just know that that's kind of where this originally came from. It's. It's also. It's weird. But also there are stories, quote stories of the Sharuf. The Sharuf. And that it creates ardent stones in the volcano, which are what magicians essentially use. You know, the stones you would essentially put the runes on.

Cristina: It makes those.

Jack: It makes stones.

Cristina: Yeah, it makes art and stones. Like, people have found ardent stones. Huh?

Jack: Ardent stones, the ones you would put the runes on.

Cristina: Runes?

Jack: Runes, magical symbols that do power and whatnot.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: You would put these runes on top of the ardent stones and. Oh, well, that's where they get magic. So this is how it goes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: The rune doesn't have power, It's a symbol. The rock has power. It has energy. The rune controls the power inside the rock.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Where did the people get the runes?

Jack: I. They made them up.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Or space told them. I don't know. How do people come up with stuff? How did magicians come up with the runes that they use magic for? I don't know. They Tested stuff, I guess, like drew things here and there.

Cristina: I thought you said art in stone though, like no art.

Jack: Yeah, but yeah, yeah. So it's, it's magical.

Cristina: Mm. The creature is magical though.

Jack: Well, the creature isn't necessarily magical as much as it is some crazy like thing that eats people.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Again, it's, it's just a creature. Yeah, it's not like some interdimensional thing. It's not a fairy by any means. Didn't come from the shadow realm or anything. It's just like a thing that lives on Earth. That lives on Earth inside the volcano.

Cristina: Not a shadow creature at all.

Jack: Not a shadow creature, just one of those weird things that's here. And it's also not like a chimera.

Cristina: It's not a camera. What does it look like an animal though?

Jack: It looks humanoid. It looks like a, like a humanoid series of rocks and lava and glass. Like put together. An easier way to think about it would be imagine if you made a entire human body out of nothing but lava and then you took a bunch of rock and glass and coated the outer layer of that lava with these rock and glass. And now you have what looks like a bunch of rock and glass moving around with glowing magma between the cracks.

Cristina: That's horrifying.

Jack: So yeah, this is basically what the creature is.

Cristina: Well, it, that is a scary looking creature.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, that's a f****** nuts creature. But what's interesting about the Sharuf is that it's not the only creature living where it lives. And it so, so much, so much stranger than the fact that it's not the only creature that lives where it lives is that the other creatures that live where it lives are absolutely just boring degrees of normal creature.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Normal animal looking or animal behaving creatures.

Jack: It's not even like animal looking or animal behaving, you know, it's literally animals. Real animals, just real animals. For example, there is a flamingo. A flamingo that just chills sometimes.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: In, around. It's weird. It hangs out in the hottest parts because its skin is absolutely so tough. No way, I swear to you. And so this flamingo is well known for just kind of chilling in volcanoes.

Cristina: We're looking at real flamingos.

Jack: Yeah, flamingos that chill in extremely hot conditions. They, their ridiculously tough skin can hang out in the water that's essentially boiling other crap alive.

Cristina: What, what do they do there?

Jack: They live there. They eat the plants that survive there, the little critters that survive there and all that kind of crap.

Cristina: There are more Than so there's plants that survive.

Jack: I mean everybody knows that there's in magma areas. There's conditions that allow for certain things to come to life.

Cristina: I was not expecting flamingos.

Jack: Yeah. Like I said, it's absolutely weird. It's weirder that they're this normal.

Cristina: That is ridiculously normal. And they're hanging out with this other creature.

Jack: Yes, well, this other creature is literally inside the lava that would melt all of this other.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Like these are just in proximity to the creature.

Cristina: They're never going inside that volcano or anything.

Jack: They can chill kind of in the volcano without going to the lava. Because a lot of these birds just hang out on the rim. Weird.

Cristina: That is so.

Jack: But they're fine. They can handle the heat. It doesn't bother them in the slightest way. What?

Cristina: Wow. But they.

Jack: Look, man, they're just flamingos.

Cristina: They're just flamingos. Yeah.

Jack: But flamingos in general what. Tend to have tough skin and these flamingos have extra tough skin that allows them to survive those conditions.

Cristina: Ridiculous.

Jack: But weird that these. I mean, I guess it's not weird because one of the other creatures is an iguana.

Cristina: That doesn't sound as weird.

Jack: Yeah. When you think about it. Because the iguana actually needs to fight. Well, here's a problem. They're cold blooded and they need the heat.

Cristina: Mm. How's that a problem?

Jack: Well, it's not necessarily a problem. I'm sending cold blooded and they need the heat. That makes them more normal.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: To be in a really hot place.

Cristina: Yeah. Yeah. That makes. That's not crazy.

Jack: It's like all the lizards that live in the desert.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Except this one lives in the desert where there's moisture. So it has both the really hot and the water.

Cristina: But it also hangs out around volcanoes.

Jack: Yeah, this is basically hanging out in a volcano. It hangs out in, in and around the volcano in all the areas that aren't so hot that would bake to death this. Essentially all these creatures would hang out in all these areas that are so hot to kill everything else but not kill them.

Cristina: That is so crazy. The flamingo is still very shocking.

Jack: Well, that's nowhere near as shocking as the weirdest one. Because at least it's a bird. It's a bird. Birds go weird places. Birds go up, up, you know, volcanoes, mountains. Volcanoes are mountains.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: With a whole. Well, not really. But we see them that way.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah.

Jack: You know, and animals see them that way too because it's an uphill that you can avoid. Crap.

Cristina: So what is this? So this Third thing is way more weirder than a flamingo.

Jack: It's a finch.

Cristina: Finch. That's a bird too, isn't it?

Jack: This particular bird, I don't even know how to begin to explain it.

Cristina: Okay, why from all the photos you can pick up this bird, you chose the scariest one.

Jack: It's not the scariest, and I will explain why. Okay, so this ground finch, they have evolved a particular set of characteristics. You could say that in order to supplement their diet, that they would usually get from like a cacti, nectar and pulp and, you know, normal bird stuff. Yeah, yeah. Other birds, eggs and junk like that. In order to supplement that. Because they don't normally find as much stuff up there. They find plants and crap, but they're not getting the exact plants they want because the cactus is going to survive. There's too much moisture. You know, they have developed the ability to pull the nutrients out of blood, so they have become vampiric and kill creatures.

Cristina: I was thinking when I looked at this photo, is it vamp?

Jack: Yeah, it's called the vampire ground finch.

Cristina: Ah.

Jack: And it just chases the blood.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Yeah. Which then makes way more sense how the f****** demon that's down there basically lives there because, yeah, there's s*** literally begging for blood. Here's what's interesting about this.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Why the f*** doesn't this creature turn? And I think it has to do with the fact that in their environment it's normal to die and be attacked. Like the adrenaline they feel when they're dying isn't creating enough to create adrenochrome.

Cristina: You're talking about the bird itself.

Jack: Bird being vampiric. It's killing crap that isn't fearing the way it should fear in order to create adrenochrome that then turns opposite to the wolves drinking the blood of the fallen soldiers who suck were horrified when they were dying.

Cristina: Yeah, or the clouds.

Jack: Yes, exactly. In the case of the bird. Birds attacking other birds, and these birds aren't producing enough adrenaline to then create adrenochrome in the first place. So these birds stay birds and nothing changes.

Cristina: Are you sure? Because it looks so disturbing.

Jack: Well, the question would be. And. And think about this real hard. This is. This is my theory, and this is a. If this theory turns out to be true, then we know significantly less than we thought about adrenochrome and the effects it has on bodies. The theory goes the bird does in fact get the adrenochrome from the bodies of these, but rarely. Once in a blue, there's enough concentration, that works as adrenochrome. And these vampire ground finch then go through the transformation that turns him into a sharif.

Cristina: Wait, what?

Jack: The creature in the volcano.

Cristina: In the volcano is the rare case.

Jack: In which a finch does get the adrenochrome from the blood and goes through a transformation. But then it requires what? It requires more. From who? The people who'd be the most scared. Yeah, the young people, usually females, are more scared because we program that into society. You are weak and fragile and so you feel the most fear. So it makes more sense. The younger and the more female you are, the more adrenal chrome you produce because you have more adrenaline because of the fear in your body.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So then you throw that into the thing, you calm the creature down, it can feed on that for a while. But it came from potentially a bird.

Cristina: That's possible because the creature doesn't have to look like the original creature.

Jack: No, it does not.

Cristina: Does not. And they get smarter with adrenochrome. Right, like this thing. What?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: I wish there was some clue though that it was related somehow.

Jack: They seem so astoundingly unrelated.

Cristina: Exactly. Yes. Except for that there's the blood, I guess.

Jack: Yes, exactly. So it's a weird place to be in that. There is a bird that's potentially this rock monster.

Cristina: Whaat?

Jack: This is another way to think about it. Look at how I describe the Sharuf looking. If you were to put magma in the middle and surround it with glass and rock, you get the Sharuf. Now here's what's weird about this. If it is the case, this isn't a bird by any means, it came from a bird. Meaning adrenochrome allows the transformation to take place with things surrounding you, or at least adapting so roughly to the environment that you're in that you can resemble it. So it might simply look like it's made out of magma, rock and glass. But it's still some form of a biological creature like all the other creatures that take adrenochrome. Why would it suddenly become a rock? It's just so different now. The glow, hard to explain, but that doesn't mean anything because we have electric eels that exist and we're giving this creature the ability to become hyper intelligent. And many creatures do literally get magic and other powers. So we're not in a crazy stretch to say that somehow it's glowing and its environment allows it to radiate so hot that itself works like lava. But this is all because of where it lives and taking Trinochrome at the same time. And during the transformation, it takes those factors into consideration. Boom. Which means environmental, environment. The environment in which you're changing. When you take the adrenochrome effects what you turn into.

Cristina: But also, a lot of these creatures seem to choose what they look like sometimes.

Jack: So when has that happened?

Cristina: Like, don't they. I thought one.

Jack: It's always random.

Cristina: It feels like they do it specifically to scare, though.

Jack: And when. What. Who.

Cristina: I tried to think.

Jack: There's no example of that. No creature has chosen anything.

Jack: A lot of them tend to be scary, but that's because they stop taking adrenochrome, go feral, and then do crazy s***.

Cristina: Mmm. I feel like there was something, but I can't remember. I feel like it was related to the werewolves, but I don't know.

Jack: There's a bunch of variants of werewolves, but there's like, the werewolf and the lycan. Those are two different. One is consistently using the adrenochrome, the other one isn't. And then when they pass on, regardless of either or. They would both, in either case become either a wendigo or a wetchudge. The wetchudge being the feral version and the Wendingo being the non pharaoh version.

Cristina: Wouldn't this have a pharaoh and non pharaoh version?

Jack: Well, yes, but we don't know what the non. What the feral version looks like because we just have the one that's been.

Cristina: We just know about one creature.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Lava creature.

Jack: No. In theory. There's more we can find. But it could just be so rare.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That, you know, we'd have to find them. But there is the fact that this is a thing at all that is kind of interesting to begin with.

Cristina: Yes. That there's a bird that's drinking blood.

Jack: Yeah. It's potentially becoming this s***. But this just made me curious about how are there creatures living on volcanoes at all? Like what? Like what?

Cristina: Like why? Well, I guess we know why.

Jack: Because. Survival.

Cristina: Survival.

Jack: Yeah, but how the f***, you know, like, how is this possible? But, like, Jeff Goldblum continues to tell us, nature finds a way. Nature fight. And he's saying it in a movie, too. Nature finds a way. That's his line. That's just what he's known for from now on because it became so iconic before. Nature finds a way.

Cristina: Yes, but.

Jack: So let's break it down. What is a volcano? We got to rationalize this in order to try to understand how things are hanging out there. So let's begin. A volcano is just essentially a hole.

Cristina: It's a hole.

Jack: Right. It's a hole in the ground, specifically on the surface level, that allows passage to the under levels where the magma hangs out and then the magma spews out. And we call it a volcano.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess with the. The gr. The hole is erupting or whatever.

Jack: Yeah. When the hole is spitting like magma and like ash and gas and crap, we're like, that's a volcano. Whatever. But that's the. The volcano is complicated because the volcano is kind of the process, not the thing.

Cristina: Process.

Jack: Yeah. Let me explain. A fissure is where the magma comes from, the ash comes from, the gas comes from. A fisher spits out all the stuff that we look at, and we're like a volcano Fisher. The fisher. It's like a water fisher. You go to, like this, where the water poles and like steam. What is it called? Hot springs. And hot springs tend to have, like, steam fissures.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So that's essentially what we're calling where the lava and magma and ash and gas comes from. That's what we look at. We're like, oh, now when we look at a big mountain thing, and we're like, that's a volcano. Well, sort of.

Cristina: Sort of.

Jack: Because what we're looking at that looks like a giant smooth rock outside is just dried lava. That's not a mountain and that's not a volcano. Again, the volcanoes. The process, specifically this is just a part of something that happens.

Cristina: The volcano is not the object.

Jack: No, it's a process. So when you look at the typical drying of a volcano, that's kind of like a flat top and then like a triangle coming out of that. The triangle out of that. We just call that a volcanic cone because that's all lava. The dried dry magma that created that form. Yeah, that's not the volcano. That's just some s*** that dried on during the volcanic process.

Cristina: But there's no volcano then.

Jack: There's no such thing as, like a physical volcano. But also. Yes, because it's the only thing that has the process. So we're calling the collection of these things. It's like an engine isn't a car, A piston isn't a car. The tires aren't a car, the chassis isn't a car. But you kind of put all the things together in a car kind of happens.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Okay, so there's no volcano. There's magma gases, glass, molten rock. There's fissures. There are volcanic cones, but all of these things together are the volcano.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But the fissure alone is just a fissure where magma comes from.

Cristina: Are there fissures without magmas?

Jack: Yeah, there's a bunch of water fish. It's the most common type of fish in the world.

Cristina: Oh, okay. And that just spews out water. Water. Hot water. Yeah. Can lava come out through there eventually or no.

Jack: If a crazy catastrophe happened, broke down everything below that that then allowed magma from way deeper. Although it's the same concept. It's just the magma is coming from deeper.

Cristina: Deeper.

Jack: Yeah. The fissure is coming from the top layer. That's water. Magma is underneath the crust while water sits on top of the crust. Even the water coming up from fissures is really water that's still on top of the crust. It's sea level at most. It has to be because it's f****** water. But it's the same idea. It's underneath the. Underneath the ground and there's enough hot air that's making it bubble and spew up as the air is trying to leave.

Cristina: Okay, that makes sense.

Jack: So the same process takes place during the volcanic eruption. A bunch of the hot gases underneath the magma that's collected into rocks and stuff starts to bubble up. And the pressure, it builds up because it's already hot. The pressure builds up with it, keeps making more and more and more gas, then spews upward. It actually breaks the magma that's solidified and shoots that up into the air a lot of the time with such ferocity that on top of it being the magma from the bottom, creating the heat that shoots the first layer of rock. And then because you see the spew.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Goes out so far that it becomes ash in the sky and gases fly up and there are rocks flying, but very few. And in that process a lot of these rocks in the air even catch fire. That's when you see the whole. But there's also lava chunks flying here and there.

Cristina: That's horrifying.

Jack: But the majority of the magma isn't what's spewing upward. That's the hard s*** that was getting out of the way. Because the magma is just kind of going to go up and slide downwards.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's the real. The cap is what we're seeing blow up. There's a lid because cold air is hitting the hot lava and it's no longer active. And then it kind of creates a sheet and kind of like ice forming on a lake.

Jack: It's wetter down, but more frozen on top.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Yeah, Same idea. The colder air while the air is hitting the top, cooling the top and the bottom Stays.

Cristina: Yeah. So there's lava still under there.

Jack: Yes. And then these processes create the definition between a dormant volcano and an active volcano. Which is a dormant volcano still has all the same features than an active volcano does. But it doesn't seem to be ready or actively creating anything while a active volcano is still bubbling and creating gases. These gases usually spurs out through fissures and other locations, even the very eye of the volcano.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But they disperse enough to not have an eruption, although the eruptions can still happen at any moment.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: If the proper buildup happens.

Cristina: But an inactive one won't ever.

Jack: No, that's incorrect. An extinct volcano won't. That is a volcano that has zero activity. It could not revert to an active one, while a dormant one could eventually wake up. Now, it's interesting we would use these terminologies to talk about volcanoes in the first place because of the nature of the volcano, that it's a piece of the Earth in theory. You know, this is how we discuss it in science, how we talk about volcanoes. It's just part of Earth, natural process of Earth. But having one asleep and one awake. Interesting language choices, especially with the aggressive nature that they have and the fact that we know clouds and hurricanes and things kind of also share their own ecosystem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So I wonder if there's anything to the terminology, sleeping and awake, like volcanoes are alive. Yeah. If they were moving, it'd be easier to understand this thought. But the fact that we now have a rock monster, essentially, unless we can prove it, is in fact the evolved state of this bird after adrenochrome. That means what we consider to just be solid. Like inanimate things could, in theory, have life in ways we don't understand, which we've had many, many episodes ago. We've had these conversations about what could ultimately be conscious. But now we're talking about something that seems totally inanimate, behaving the way other humanoid creatures do. Kind of complex. Also. Why would this bird become humanoid? So many problems here.

Cristina: What? There's people that become like chickens.

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: In their transformation.

Jack: Who?

Cristina: There was a witch in Mexico or something that becomes a chicken.

Jack: The Baba Yaga?

Cristina: No, some other creature. And you have to, like, pray and to get it rid of it, but it thirsts for baby blood.

Jack: Oh, sh. Wait, we talked about this before.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Oh, crap. Okay, interesting. So I guess, yeah. Point being that. What about these volcanoes? How do we apply that same logic to these volcanoes? Is it the mouth? Is it their body? Is the. If the process is the volcano. Then there isn't anything to talk about. We're just using crap terminology.

Cristina: Yeah, that's true.

Jack: Because there isn't a volcano. There's parts that make up a volcano.

Cristina: It's the actual Earth.

Jack: Yes, exactly. And we know the Earth is alive. So this is some physical process.

Cristina: The Earth popping a pimple? Could be. It feels like that, I guess, in a way, because, like, yes, it wakes up and goes to sleep, but it's the Earth itself choosing, not choosing. I guess it's just happening to it.

Jack: Yeah, it's a process of. But it's always in the same place. You know, the locations where the fissures are. It could be a way to think about it. Pours pores. Fishes are pores. Interesting. Fissures all over the place are pores. That's sweat. That's heat expelling through holes on the surf, on the skin of the Earth.

Cristina: The Earth sweats. Oh, my gosh. That makes sense.

Jack: The Earth sweats.

Cristina: Yeah, I mean, it's really hot inside.

Jack: But those would be the fissures. Water coming out. Water fissures. Then what's happening with magma? Interesting. Right, we're back to the pimple idea. Fours are significantly smaller then pimples are. They're almost micro. I mean, they're not microscopic, but they're. They're very tiny. You would require a microscope to see one.

Cristina: Mm. Pimples know.

Jack: Pimples know.

Cristina: They are like pimples. They are like pimples. But then, like, what else does the Earth have that is similar to the human body? I guess.

Jack: What do you mean? There's a bunch of crap happening? There's a core that allows everything else to function. That's either the heart of the brain or both simultaneously existing. There are tunnels underground overground that behave as a vein system or a artery system. If we assume the water is artery and the lava is the veins, then we have a perfect circulatory system happening for Earth. Many pathways of water on the inside, Many pathways of magma traveling on the inside. And again, the magma goes all the way to where the core, where the heart is. There's a lot of similarities. The heart of the Earth has magma, the blood of the Earth, leading outward to the surface to the extremities. And similar to popping a pimple, sometimes blood comes out.

Cristina: Ugh. Okay.

Jack: And similar to people pores all over the place, which are the fishers, and.

Cristina: Then is the ash. Like when you're popping a blackhead or something, like the dirt that's stuck in there.

Jack: I guess.

Cristina: That'S so crazy. So there's no volcanoes. Or they are. They're mountains then, are they? Not mountains either.

Jack: There are mountains with a fissure cutting through it. That. Or I guess not really. There are mountains built on top of or that happen on top of volcanoes.

Cristina: That are not related.

Jack: Like, they're not related. Like the. The top surface happens to be a mountain, and the mountain that has a fissure somewhere on the inside that, when that erupts, will create a giant hole or blow the top of a mountain. But what we think about when we see a volcano, that shape. That's not a mountain.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That is just some thing that happened as a product of gravity and the magma kind of rolling down, creating that triangular form. So, no, it is not a mountain. A volcano is factually not a mountain.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Now, there are volcanoes that can have weirder shapes that maybe perhaps help reduce the. The visual of what we think are mountain volcanoes. There are like shield volcanoes there. They have a slope so gradual that they kind of just look like a dome to some degree instead of like pointy. They just got like a. Like a shield volcano. It's got the shape of a shield.

Cristina: It's called the shield.

Jack: Yeah, it's got the shape of a shield. And these volcanoes are very known for. You've probably seen videos of these online where they're not known for a giant explosion and a bunch of magma leaking, but rather slow magma pressing out of the fissure slowly and then gradually rolling. And then people come and visit these places, take photos of lava rolling around and s*** like that.

Cristina: What, people are just hanging out and.

Jack: Yeah, you've probably seen videos of this. People go and just take shots or photos or whatever of rolling lava. They're going to these volcanoes where it's super safe. I mean, minus the lava part.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But otherwise, unless the lava suddenly decided to stand up and start running towards you.

Cristina: Yeah, pretty stand on the lava.

Jack: Exactly. Like, you'd be pretty good at that point.

Cristina: Okay. Is there other types of volcanoes?

Jack: Well, most of the features we've talked about are types of volcanoes. I guess you could say there's cone volcanoes, but those are just, again, something that happened. Okay, so all of the instances of what a volcano is are wrong because a volcano is really the process. And we're just calling all these different things volcano.

Cristina: But they're not.

Jack: But they're not, because the process is volcano. So the shield volcano is a way in which the magma rolls and dries. So is the cone volcano.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: A way in which it moves A super volcano, again is we're just calculating the super based on the fact that it had to expel an absurd amount of matter in one event.

Cristina: That's what makes it a super volcano.

Jack: Yeah. It's not size. It has to in one event has thrown out over a hundred, not a hundred, over a thousand cubic kilometers of volcanic deposit. That's what's measuring it. So it's processing.

Cristina: I imagine that they were just huge.

Jack: They could in theory be really big, but they could just be over because.

Cristina: Of what they spewed out that made them super in the first place.

Jack: Yes. And really what's deciding that is the magma chamber. A magma chamber is a pool of lava that's underneath the crust and that's where the magma is. How large that is determines how big. What's over. It could explode.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Out word.

Cristina: And that would predict super volcano.

Jack: Yes. So super volcano now you know, not location. Super volcanoes in theory have already exploded in the past.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That's how we identify them. So a super volcano usually leads to the craziest explosions that are kind of earth ending to some degree. But it's all about the process of. Or not process, the quantity. We've abandoned process at this point. We're like, quantity makes you a super volcano.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But we can't tell where there's a super volcano that hasn't erupted because it would require us to go beneath the crust and investigate all of underneath the crust.

Cristina: Okay. We can't do that.

Jack: It's impossible. So we need events to have happened in order to calculate. Like, oh yeah, this crap. That there must be so much down there in order for this much matter to have come from it. That's the only way we could determine these things.

Cristina: We're looking at what though.

Jack: At the.

Cristina: Just the.

Jack: The amount of matter they spewed tells us if it's a super volcano or not.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And that allows us to kind of question how much magma is in the magma chamber that this volcano sits over.

Cristina: Can they tell how old the magma is?

Jack: I don't know what that means. It's infinitely old. It's all the same magma. It's just really. Magma's really compressed matter essentially being really hot.

Cristina: Yeah. Like how do they tell how long ago a volcano exploded? I guess.

Jack: Oh. So yeah. There's probably layers of how it dries and shapes and crap that tell people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Essentially. I guess geologists would be the people doing it. Who that then they know.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The age of.

Cristina: Because you have to know. That would be part of it. Right. Like How? Like that doesn't help how if it's a super volcano or not. No, but it's still.

Jack: Well, it could not how old it is, but how far it traveled could tell them how much went up.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So you could be like, well, this came from way the h*** down there. That must be a crate if you could find a lot of it. That must have been crazy.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's probably how they detect it. But yeah, it's interesting that there are just pools of lava, of magma, magma chambers hanging out underneath. And we could be sitting over one. Not even know.

Cristina: That is cool. But it's cooler that there's a creature living in a volcano that is weird.

Jack: That is weird. And what it's made of is really weird. Now I wonder if it itself has a circulatory system. Again, it couldn't really be made out of lava if it's a creature that made it from blood. And it needs blood and it needs blood.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It just looks like a creature. It's just a creature, except it's made of rock and lava. And like, if it was a shadow creature, that wouldn't check out. It wouldn't make sense. It would be more ethereal, more. More ghost like.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it's not. It's just glass and rock and lava.

Cristina: Be a disguise.

Jack: I figured we would figure that out if that was the case.

Jack: It could be a shapeshifter.

Cristina: It could be.

Jack: That's the direction it could go. But then what the h*** is wrong with this shapeshifter that it's deciding to choose the shape of random inanimate crap as opposed to blending in, which is usually what a bunch of the shapeshifters that visit do do.

Cristina: There's that shapeshifter that. Is it a shapeshifter? I think it's a shapeshifter that turns into a snake with wings.

Jack: Yes, but that's a snake and a bird. Those are still just living things in a weird combo execution.

Cristina: Shapeshifters that turn into random crap.

Jack: Exactly. Right. It's always a thing that's an animal of some sort. Like they're trying to blend in. The one that tries to look like a dog. Chupacabra is a famous one.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Although there's two variants of the Chupacabra, which I'm sure they. There's too many. Too many. But they're all different creatures. We know.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And one of them is like a God, like alien, and the other one's just some s*** on Earth that presumably got the ability from Eating some other s***.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But all the shapeshifters aim to. Well, no, we're wrong. But again, the alien shapeshifter is the one who got weird and turned into the weird, like, lizard. Not even lizard. It's just the closest comparison we can make. But it's this weird monster looking thing, and that's the one that came from space. Remember that? And that was a shapeshifter. But also the dog one was a shapeshifter, and those are two different creatures.

Cristina: Could this thing be an alien?

Jack: It could totally be an alien, but as of now, it just seems to be just an Earth creature because it's entirely made up of.

Cristina: Clouds are Earth creatures, and they don't look like anything.

Jack: They're astoundingly abstract and weird. At least from our understanding, they can identify one another.

Cristina: Yeah, but if this could be something.

Jack: Like that, that'd be fascinating, right?

Cristina: That would mean it's its own creature.

Jack: Exactly. And there would be more like this. It could be like a panther. They hang out relatively alone, like one per volcano. And like the mating process must be complicated because we need one to migrate to the other, which is unlikely.

Cristina: That doesn't feel like something bad happens, travel underground.

Jack: This would be fascinating because this means that the volcano is a. Either a reject or the alpha, and they get to have the big thing. Or they're abandoned into this prison that.

Cristina: Exposes them because they're getting version sacrifices.

Jack: Well, we're assuming that this is the version of whatever the creature this is that has had adrenochrome because it has had adrenochrome.

Cristina: Mm. And that whatever, it's an outcast because it has.

Jack: Well, no, we don't know why it's an outcast. We just know that it is an outcast. And this is not how all these creatures would look or behave.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And if they do exist, it being in this situation, it being in a volcano probably has something to do with it looking and behaving the way it does, because maybe the food it required isn't around. And in order to survive, it ate whatever and then boom, came across blood, which wasn't normal in its environment.

Cristina: Okay, interesting. Interesting, yes.

Jack: Now, following your logic, there must be a. I don't know if highly intelligent way this creature is the way that other humanoid creatures are. But whether highly intelligent or not, that means that there are through the magma and through the tunnels inside of volcanoes leading through passages that are too hot for anything else to survive. Yes, there must really be. Not too hot for anything to survive. But Just rather creatures that do live down there that we'll never see because we could never go down there.

Cristina: Yeah. That makes sense.

Jack: A plethora of them. An entire ecosystem. Whether. And maybe there are highly intelligent ones. And maybe that is what we're seeing. Kind of like dolphins run the water.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: There are creatures that just run the magma, or not even the magma. But beneath the crust of the Earth, there's an ecosystem and there are things that are our counterparts down there. And maybe these magma things are related.

Cristina: Maybe. And we would just never know because it's impossible. It's impossible to check that out.

Jack: It is impossible to check that out. Unless. Unless we use. Because technology is not gonna get us there. Everything we have on Earth melts. This is the hottest s***. There's a workaround, though, and we have the necessary creatures for it.

Cristina: We're gonna use creatures.

Jack: Well, we have the necessary creatures for the solution.

Cristina: What's the solution?

Jack: Magic can do a lot. So if we can figure out magic that then allows us to survive the conditions of.

Cristina: That's also crazy.

Jack: The magma. Then we can go explore that.

Cristina: What? I honestly just thought you were gonna say we're gonna just use the supercomputer or whatever computer. We have that.

Jack: Wow. That's actually way more efficient because we could just simulate it perfectly and then just change the variable that allows us to navigate the environment.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And go and explore it.

Cristina: That would make sense.

Jack: That would make absolute sense.

Cristina: Or using the. The people that work for us to do it. Because why would.

Jack: They would die. They would be pointless. We wouldn't get anything back. The real idea in the real world, if we weren't to use a computer, which in hindsight, is the most optimal, safest way to do this.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But if we for whatever reason ignored that for the thousandth time and took an active approach here. Magic would be the way to do it. Because the Reptilians know everything magic related. They know a lot.

Cristina: They know a lot.

Jack: But it's actual technology, isn't it? We thought it was magic, but it's tech.

Cristina: It's the cat people.

Jack: It's the cat people who. That might also be f****** tech, bro. We're still not sure. Think about the lineage of us still waiting for freaking Steve to figure out communicating with the clouds. Because ultimately this will also solve that problem. Because they have the ability to interact with lightning or generate it or something, which is about as hot as lava, maybe hotter. So they can. They know the tricks. The clouds are astoundingly necessary to most of the s***. That we have been halted at. And until we get confirmation that, yes, we have established a back and forth. Yes, we're waiting. And now there's just another thing we're waiting for. The potential clouds could help us with. Because some of these clouds literally level up to the degree that they are partially lava themselves.

Cristina: Do not remember that stars. Oh, yes. The ones they were trying to communicate with.

Jack: That. That's the part you forgot. The biggest thing all of everywhere.

Cristina: That's so ridiculous. You don't think of it as a cloud.

Jack: Well, it is. It's both a cloud and a giant molting thing.

Cristina: That's the reason we need the clouds in the first place, to communicate with the stars. Okay.

Jack: This is a process. We're trying to get farther and farther to talk to the biggest kahunas. But now there's a thing that's kind of hot like the biggest kahunas, and it's right here. And we kind of already have it. Maybe there's more of it.

Cristina: Maybe there's creatures on the stars as well.

Jack: Well, this, I guess the same way that Earth is living thing with crap on it. Possible. Yeah, that checks out. That makes sense. But it would have to exist in the molting section.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Because there is just the gaseous surface.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: But on the flip side, who says there isn't an ecosystem in that gaseous surface as well? Wow, this is getting weird. I haven't thought about any of this in the past, but, yes, I guess all of that checks out because we also have crap in our atmosphere. Why wouldn't the atmosphere of a star have crap there?

Cristina: We gotta find out.

Jack: Whoa. Yeah. And we need a star for it.

Cristina: Yes. Man, we need a star for so much.

Jack: Yes. And it's a problem. So basically, we've just circled back to the same issue that we've had for quite a while, which is we can't seem to advance. On the flip side, if we can get magic, we need the capio before the magic. But in theory, maybe this doesn't seem too difficult. It's just magma. I think the reptilians might be enough to figure at least this out. If we can get to the bottom and see what kind of civilization maybe there is intelligence. Because it still brings up the question. I mean, I guess in theory the Mayans didn't go all the way beneath the cross. That's exaggerated. But, you know, they're the Mayans, when they went underneath the ground and plugged into the mansion, like, they didn't really, like, go so far down they're hanging out with lava monsters. Like. That's so nice.

Cristina: They are the lava monsters.

Jack: That would be crazy. But no, they wouldn't, because we know they went to space. Yeah, some went to space and the others just connected to the Matrix. I guess we could in theory assume there's a third faction. But how would they evolve into these things? That makes no sense. That's. There's a disconnect from one to the other.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But there's. There's many options here. There's. There's paths.

Cristina: What if they're not connected to the Matrix? What if they're connected to the lava people? There's that. They're like avatar bodies in this world.

Jack: Interesting. What if they. What?

Cristina: What?

Jack: That. That thought only made sense until they're the avatars in their own world. That makes sense.

Cristina: Like so that they can peek out whenever. But not actually.

Jack: They wouldn't. They would literally not. Because lava people would in theory exist in the lava underneath the surface. So they'd go underground. So then pretend to be underground creatures who wouldn't come up. But. But following that absolutely broken conclusion, what if those are in fact avatars? In an. In a literal avatar, the movie by the director, guy who everybody loves, works. There's a place that's inhabit inhospitable to humans, and they need to go there because of some worse s*** elsewhere. In the case of Avatar, there was, you know, profit. Human profit. The usual reason for us invading people.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But in the case of this situation, we know the Mayans knew something was going to happen. Some of them are like, get the f*** off the planet. Others like, we got to go way the h*** down there.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But too far down is impossible. Unless you make a pod where your mind can live and then you create some sort of other thing where you send the signal of your brain to. This is your new body. The pod is gonna keep you alive, is gonna give you nutrients, it's gonna give you food and make sure you don't die. But your body that you've created will never die, is made entirely different. This is some sort of Android that happens to be able to survive in lava conditions. These are technology.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: To then perhaps get to the center of the Earth, or not even the center of the earth, but they could because it's just molting. But then that would break the argument that there is life on something like a star.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: Because we don't have that. It's less likely that something like that happened. We have less examples.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: As opposed to this just Being something that lives down there.

Cristina: So you have to figure that out, though.

Jack: It would tell us whether it's.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Something we should look into for stars. Like a question we could write on our list of questions for stars.

Cristina: A lot of questions, man. But yes.

Jack: Oh, yes. But yeah. So that. That's kind of the rabbit hole that I went down. That all began by asking whether or not we could jump down a volcano.

Cristina: Yeah. You haven't. You didn't figure that out, though, at all. Like, do you know the average of how many people accidentally fall into volcanoes or something?

Jack: No. It was proven that things live there already. So it's kind of pointless, the fact that there's normal. Like, screw this creature and whatever the h*** this is. There's just stuff there, just normal animals hanging out there that's like, of course. Yeah, there's whatever. Humans make it there too, I suppose. Which is true. I didn't think while we were having this conversation before, we didn't think about the fact that people just go photograph lava.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So, yeah, it was a dumb question because we weren't thinking about the bigger picture. People definitely have to volcano dive. Especially in, like, extinct volcanoes that aren't active.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It's probably a normal thing. Yeah, man. I'm so edgy. I went into the mouth of the volcano.

Cristina: But we know people die from volcanoes too, of course. Family that just jumped into one and that's it.

Jack: Of course. Of course. But it's not like they couldn't survive in a volcano. Which was the original question. Could you volcano dive?

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: The answer is yes, objectively, because you don't even need to go volcano diving. S***. Just. It's not like, whoa, the most extreme. No, there's just any. Hey, look at the iguana.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: This is extreme conditions. Is that a flamingo?

Cristina: What?

Jack: This is the most hardcore place in the world. Is that a pink flamingo?

Cristina: Little tiny blood sucking bird that gets real hardcore.

Jack: I think that's the weirdest part about this interaction. Of all the normality happening. And then tiny little finch shows up and just digs into the first thing with blood it finds. It's like, holy crap. What happened?

Cristina: What happened?

Jack: Beautiful flamingo flies into this hot, hot place. Like, wow.

Cristina: Are you sure these flamingos aren't drinking blood?

Jack: Positive. Flamingo lands is beautiful. You're looking at it. You're like, oh, this is gorgeous. Fantastic. You see an iguana chilling out here. Like, oh, that checks out moisture and crap heat, you know?

Cristina: Mm. I see.

Jack: I see what's going on. And then A beautiful finch just gliding. It flies and it lands, and you're like, oh, wow. That finch is dope. Looks around. You're like, oh, majestic. A finch that came all the way here to the mouth of the volcano. The finch takes off and starts floating, and you're like, oh, this is. Look how beautiful it flies. Until it rips the f****** eye out of the flamingo you were looking at. And you're like, holy s***. This just became epic as f***. This is crazy. I was scared of the lava. This bird's what I got to get the h*** away from.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Can you imagine a swarm of those finch? You're f*****. Just all the blood.

Cristina: Oh, my God.

Jack: The first cut, you're done.

Cristina: They don't do that, though, do they? It's not like, where are those. Those fish that eat piranhas? Piranhas. They're not like piranhas.

Jack: I don't know. Well, no, because there's not enough food. If there were a bunch of them, they would attack each other. That's the whole point. They're cannibals. They're not cannibals, but they love blood because that's how getting nutrients are missing.

Cristina: Okay. Yeah.

Jack: If they were a flock, that flock wouldn't make it. They would just eat each other. They would cannibalize instantaneously.

Cristina: Oh, amazing. What? Whoa.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah, that's. That's a pretty cool, disturbing bird.

Jack: Yeah. The vampire ground finch. Fantastic. So, yeah, the answer to the question of whether you can volcano hop is without a doubt, yes. Yes, you can. You can go into the mouth of a volcano. In fact, there's some volcanoes that people probably just casually do this to because they're dead f****** volcanoes that do nothing. So, yes, we can all go. And then. Fair enough. It might be so safe that there's creatures of so many different things living down there. So we just got to go investigate that.

Cristina: But you shouldn't go, because you might.

Jack: Be eaten by the creatures that you're looking for.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Or the bird that's just hanging out there, that's not even a creatures. I mean, it's a you. It's a real Earth creature. But the fact that you could just be killed by a finch that's trying to drink your blood.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Well, amazing. I hope you guys learned something. I hope you learned something about, you know, volcano humping. Mm, lovely. Volcano humping. Anyways, you guys can listen to last week's episode to get the details on how this conversation began. But additionally, a bunch of the crap discussed here reference a bunch of other.

Cristina: Crap discussed in different episodes.

Jack: In different episodes. So there's a plethora of places to reach from. So just go read show titles, go read episode titles back to back to back and you'll eventually come across one. You're like, oh, this seems like.

Cristina: Read the summaries. The summaries are great.

Jack: Yeah. They'll tell you what's in each episode so you can find the thing. Actually, if you go to the website greathoughts.info justconvopod, I think, or just conversation Pod, I don't know, one of those. You can find not just the summary, but you can type in keywords that will take you specifically to things connected.

Cristina: Ah, that's a great way.

Jack: Yeah. So if you want to like link from one to the other and see all the episodes that are related, you could just type in some keywords and be like, okay, all the episodes related to Shadow Realm, boom. They'll show up together.

Cristina: Because there's a lot.

Jack: Yeah, it's like four or five. Anyways. Yeah, you guys can go do that and you can find all our stuff on socials. If you want to go contact us, you can do get that stuff at just Convopod, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Cristina: Yes. Remember to subscribe, rate and review the show.

Jack: Yes. Word of mouth will tell people that they can learn about volcanoes and volcano creatures from listening to us.

Cristina: Yes. And this has been the raveling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: I mean, look, this is an assumption. I know that they're made by the people from over the wall. I was assuming I could. In theory, they could be sort of mechanical to some degree, but they seem like living beings. This is externally, in theory, they could be solar powered, but then how do they function at night? Unless they have internal battery holding things that stores a surplus. So there's more than they need to make the night. But what do we do about periods of time when there's night for nine months?

Cristina: Oh, crap.

Jack: I guess it's six months at highest, I think. I'm not really sure, but you get my point.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. So that wouldn't be helpful.

Jack: It wouldn't be helpful. Eventually you just run out, then what?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they have to be biological. They have to be self sustained.

Cristina: Yeah. So people would volunteer for some weird experiment?

Jack: Well, we don't know the people over. It wasn't people from this side who volunteered. We wouldn't know how they got here because there's people from over the wall and nobody is allowed over the wall.

Cristina: Mm. Not even us.

Jack: We're not allowed. Only Pete. Well, we're allowed over the wall, but people who aren't working for the Illuminati or the Freemasons or any of that are. They're not allowed. Those are the same. That's why people here, a bunch of people, can simply not lift off the planet. We have the technology to get anywhere. Why don't we send pedestrians? No, pedestrians are only allowed over our. Good night.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 166: Powerful Storm Clouds

Which types of clouds are responsible for storms? If clouds have species, why don’t we call them sky creatures? Is the Shinto cloud demi-god Aka Shita hidden amongst the clouds? The duo picks apart an Illuminati document on the hunt for Aka-Shita, a Shinto cloud god that may help the duo deal with the ever lingering Cat-God problem. In the process, they discover the military structure of cloud systems.

Rambling 166: Powerful Storm Clouds

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed:

  • Aka Shita (Shinto Cloud Creature
  • Cirrostratus Cloud Species
  • Nebulosus Clouds
  • Halo Shaped Cloud
  • Cumulus Cloud Species
  • Ice Crystal Clouds
  • Vapor Clouds
  • Mediocris Clouds
  • Horizontal Clouds
  • Pack clouds
  • Congestus Clouds
  • Vertical Clouds
  • Thunderstorms
  • Cumulonimbus Clouds (Thunderhead)
  • Cloud Towers
  • Tornadoes
  • Lightning Storms
  • Hailstorms
  • Flash Flooding

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I am your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I am your host, Christina.

Jack: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Cristina: Also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on topics we discuss.

Jack: Yeah. So pull somebody nice and close and get ready to go on a wild, whimsical ride.

Cristina: We're going on a ride.

Jack: Whimsical ride.

Cristina: Ooh, Are we part of that ride?

Jack: Yes. There's a lot of whimsy in it, though.

Cristina: Whimsy?

Jack: Whimsy. I don't know what whimsy is, but I know it's whimsical.

Cristina: Is that like, magical? That's unrelated. I don't know.

Jack: So magical or fun? It's somewhere in that ballpark. All right, it's either whimsical.

Cristina: No.

Jack: Because it would be mystical. Right. Or it would be magical. If we use any of those words, whimsical must just be what's. What's whimsy? It's fun. Right. A lot of whimsy. It's playful fun.

Cristina: Sure. I don't know. What if it doesn't really at all?

Jack: I don't could. It could totally not relate.

Cristina: It could totally means clumsy. I don't know.

Jack: Totally. Yeah. So, okay, so let's brief briefing. Quick. Everybody, huddle up. Briefing, meeting. We don't know what happened to the sub humans that we sent into the dark.

Cristina: Into the dark. Into the dark.

Jack: The great void.

Cristina: Into the void.

Jack: The great, great, deep.

Cristina: You also.

Jack: We don't know. So any listeners who've been following with us, you guys know that we built a team a couple of months ago, a team of subhumans, and we sent them out after we had this f****** establishment. So we got to put here, right? So we basically we went and we investigated the pyramids because there was something off about the pyramids of Giza. And then we found out that the pyramids of Giza is old cat people technology. It's both used as lasers and transportation devices that use entanglement in order to move. So there's a chamber inside the pyramid. It turns people in or anything into pure energy and can instantaneously fling it through a particle and out a different one anywhere, instantly. So we used that and sent a team of, by the way, they were using this to get to the great void where the cat gods are.

Cristina: Yeah, right.

Jack: And the Cat guards is the original advanced civilization of cat people from millions of years ago that have become so highly advanced that they literally look like they're using magic. And we thought it was magic magic at the beginning, but we've established that this is just science that's so vastly advanced that it blows us away and looks like nature. So using the pyramid, after we figured it out, we got a team. Sub humans sent them, flung them straight to the coordinates that we got for the great void from the Cat people. Sweet. Everything according to plan. And then we never heard back from them.

Cristina: The cat people betrayed us. I don't know. We don't know. It doesn't.

Jack: I mean, they were never on our side.

Cristina: Yeah, there's nothing to be trade.

Jack: But we send to subhumans and haven't heard from them. It's been months now. No, nothing. No, nothing either. They're stuck over there. And it was a one way trip and they couldn't replicate it because there's no other pyramids or other technology they have over there. So vastly advanced. On the flip side, there are no cat gods around here. Maybe it is a one way trip.

Cristina: Well, then we find cat gods in the Loch Ness.

Jack: No, we found cat people there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And they told us about the cat gods.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Which is where we sent the subhumans. Oh, by the way, this is.

Cristina: This is specifically thinking they were both the same thing.

Jack: No, no cat gods.

Cristina: Cat people.

Jack: Yeah. The cat people are the bottom of the barrel, you know.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah. There's one left behind to do experiments over here while they go and do greater things elsewhere.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But it's interesting that this bit of lore has taken several years to craft.

Jack: We're talking this goes way back years in the making to get to this point where we're finally confronting the cat people and we just lost an entire team of who knows how many mofos. It's crazy.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So assuming nothing good happened, we gotta.

Cristina: Make a backup plan.

Jack: We need a backup plan. We need. We need to communicate with God's willing to help us. Yes. Which is problematic because gods usually don't give much of a f***.

Cristina: No.

Jack: Like obviously we would try to get like Santa Claus to help or some s***. He's so advanced, his s*** looks like magic too, you know, but like he doesn't care.

Cristina: I would any of them.

Jack: They wouldn't. That's exactly the problem. None of them would. There's no benefit to It.

Cristina: So who then? Who are we gonna call?

Jack: Well, we have to go and contact some of the other creatures that thought I had. And I know I got a whole report about this right now, so that we can, you know, push it to the higher ups and see if they green light this idea.

Cristina: Yes, what is it?

Jack: We gotta go where we said we'd never go, man. We vowed a long time ago to just add a distance, observe and never f*** with the sky creatures. We just. We just stay away from that. There's forces up there that we just simply can't f*** with. And when they come down, a lot of them are just destructive f****** monsters.

Cristina: So we ignore them. Ignore them.

Jack: We're like, we don't f*** with them. The f*** with us. Less we're talking the big dogs, tornadoes and f****** sentient lightning and f****** hurricane. All the things. All the f****** things. And so we got to go to whichever one of them seems to f*** with us the least because it's on average the least hostile, which is the clouds. They seem to just stick to their own business most of the time.

Cristina: What do you think? We could take the groundhog with us and he might help us because his.

Jack: Abilities are literally to interact with the sky creatures. Yeah, maybe.

Cristina: Maybe, Maybe. Okay.

Jack: He's on our team.

Cristina: He is on our team.

Jack: Phil previously wasn't. He was on the team of whoever was circling the original batch of f****** adrenochrome that he had access to.

Cristina: Yeah, but new Phil.

Jack: Well, it's not. New Phil's name is Steve.

Cristina: Oh, Steve.

Jack: Steve the groundhog is on our side.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So if Steve can somehow help, this would be lovely, because we can't. We can't take Steve out. He can't go to the Great Void. That's not good. If he dies over there, we got a f***** problem. Yes, we've got a f***. We could grab a different groundhog, I suppose, and go through the same process, but in just a day without Phil, it turned to s*** overnight. Yeah, it was apocalyptic looking.

Cristina: It was.

Jack: So we're talking the weirdest hot, cold, rainstorm, thunder, ice.

Cristina: A little bit of a mess, but it's calmed down.

Jack: Yes, he's. I mean, Steve is figuring it out. Yeah, it's not the best job, but he's new.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Phil had how many hundreds of years to do this while Steve has had two months maybe. Like, it's not. It's not easy. Well, actually, it's been just over a month. It's not easy. He's not having a good time, per se.

Cristina: So what's the plan with the clouds?

Jack: Oh, we gotta go. We gotta just f****** make homies with the clouds specifically. Stories circle now. The clouds are quiet. They stayed. They shut the f*** up. They. They mind their own business. Half the time. They don't interact with us. Only when we f*** with them specifically, sending weird smoke up to them and s***. Do they freak the f*** out, get angry, and start destroying s***.

Cristina: Well, we're the ones that mess with them.

Jack: We mess with them indirectly. They get angry and retaliate. But we know that they. They, you know, they communicate with the winds. They communicate with all forms of sky things.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And usually they don't even come and attack themselves. They get help so they can stay detached. If they're angry, they're like, hey, over there.

Cristina: Like a tornado.

Jack: They'll send a tornado.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: No, tornadoes are particularly aggressive kind of creature, and it has no problems. Like, f***, yeah, I'm in. Because it's a weird hybrid of cloud and wind. It's a fusion. It's a baby of some sort. Well, and that's something for a different day. Like, if we need that level of destructive force, maybe, great, good, whatever. But the clouds tend to be very quiet about things. They don't talk much. They don't tell us anything. They stay out of our way. We stay out of theirs. On average.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But through whispers, through those of us ground creatures and through some of the robotic birds we got up there that have gotten, you know, they record audio there because the clouds don't f*** with the birds. The birds aren't doing any. They're not harming them. Just, you know, birds flying through. And then we record a little bit. Yeah, we just record a little bit dialogue. We. We go ahead and we interpret it, find out what they're talking about. Over the years of the recordings we've got and from the clouds, there is mention of a hierarchy.

Cristina: There's an hierarchy.

Jack: Is a hierarchy. There's a. Now, there's a lot of civilian. Based on this hierarchy, there's a lot of civilian activity. They have, you know, many small, unimportant people just kind of living their lives in the sky, doing whatever they got to do.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But one of the things that has just whispers. Whispers, because it's not a lot. 2, 3 mentions over millions of hours recorded. That's how exaggerated we're talking. Just some hidden background noise that luckily we have of this hierarchy. Yeah, we know the top of it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That there is a God. An actual God among them.

Cristina: Our job is to find it.

Jack: And our job is to find this God. Keep in mind we have millions of hours.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And seconds worth of mention. Seconds, Seconds, seconds.

Cristina: They have a name.

Jack: Okay, so there is a name. And the name is Akashita. Very Japanese name. So we at least have a region to look for.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Where this deity of sorts might be. The problem is the hierarchy within the system is hard to determine because it seems that it's almost militarized for who knows what reason if we never see anything. But also we don't understand the interactions between the clouds and the winds. We don't understand the interactions between the clouds.

Cristina: Like if there's some type of war going up up there.

Jack: Well, not necessarily war, but what if they're preventing war by having these military organizations. We don't know how the clouds interact with lightning, you know?

Cristina: Yeah, there's.

Jack: There's other things happening that the clouds are interacting with that we don't understand the dynamic.

Cristina: We have proof that they're alive. That's so crazy. They're talking to each other.

Jack: I mean, we always knew they were sentient beings. That's not like a shock. We've had this established for seemingly the entirety of the rambling series.

Cristina: Mmm.

Jack: Yeah. Quite. Some of the first creatures we watched at a distance and discussed were the clouds.

Cristina: Were the clouds. Yes. Yes.

Jack: So our job is to look through the document that broke down what's happening amongst the non civilian clouds and find out where within this structure Akashita would be. So that we know. We already know. Based on the name, it seems highly Japanese.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We have a region to look, so we need to know what we're looking for when we're there.

Cristina: So we're going to be looking at clouds that are in Japan or something.

Jack: We're going to be looking at Japanese clouds.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And we need to find Akashita among them to then get something up there and have a conversation. If willing. If he's willing. And see if he would like to work with us.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: To deal with a problem.

Cristina: This is crazy. Okay, so we're gonna help. We're gonna ask him for help to talk to.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Hopefully the cat gods now. Whatever.

Jack: We know a long time ago that there was an episode of Star Trek in which they are encountering a cloud being that drinks blood. It sucks out the iron from creatures that it is consuming essentially. And blood. Yeah.

Cristina: That's hilarious.

Jack: Well, we know the connections of blood and everything.

Cristina: Everything's connected to blood.

Jack: Everything. Now this cloud is hostile, but there's an interesting piece about it. This cloud is in space, not on the surface of a planet. Which is particularly interesting because it means hostile clouds are outcast.

Cristina: Or that's what the military is protecting us from. The cloud military.

Jack: Could be. But why would it have been outcast in the first place if it was that dangerous? We just see it interacting with the clouds. It's just in space. It was outcast from the planet's surface. Now that's based on a real cloud being. So we've heard those whispers within the clouds. We know that that was a real thing.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And that Star Trek based their thing on this cloud being that was drinking blood. It was coming down to the surface of it. Now they. They did protect us from it by outcasting it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: They don't want to f*** with the humans. We can. We can toxify their air the same way that they can cause destruction down on us. We just agree truce and we don't interact with each other.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So this thing got hostile, they flung it out there. But it's one of many. Anytime that happens, they just fling it out and. Okay, it's outcast. It's gone forever. And then Star Trek based their situation on that. So we know that they're. They can survive in space.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And we know that the biggest of the biggest of clouds form planets and stars. We know the power behind the cloud. Now the idea here is it's possible that the clouds have already been familiarized with the cat people because the cat gods have presumably Dyson sphered the stars within the great void. And those stars are nothing but gas collected the way clouds are, those are imprisoned clouds. The big kahuna. Stars are clouds, essentially.

Cristina: Stars.

Jack: Yeah, those are giant gases compressed is the hottest, steamiest of clouds put together. So clouds are essentially some of the most overpowered of gods and they just hang out. But they have some sort of war now. I don't think the military was designed to fight off the other clouds. There's enough of them to just force them out. That's why those other clouds don't even come back. It's better leave than get destroyed. We can become stars if enough of us come together. So what are we making a military for? What's the only thing f****** with us at the scale? The f****** cats.

Cristina: Ah, the cats are protecting us from the cats.

Jack: They're not protecting us from the cats. They're protecting them f****** selves from the cats.

Cristina: Oh, they're protecting themselves.

Jack: The war was between the clouds and the cats.

Cristina: Because we know the cats left or we saw the cats left.

Jack: Yeah, they left some Behind.

Cristina: They did leave.

Jack: Where were they hidden? Were they on land where the clouds can retaliate?

Cristina: No, no, they're underwater.

Jack: Underwater where they can't be f***** with. See how this plays out? So there's a possibility that if we can get the leader of the clouds from Earth to understand the problem and know that you can side with the humans on this.

Cristina: Because we have the same problem.

Jack: We got the same problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We might not like each other, but we have a mutual enemy. And we're in a truce.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So we can work with each other to solve the mutual problem.

Cristina: Interesting.

Jack: The plot thickens.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So if we can find Akashita and go straight to the lead, we can have whatever methods of communication they have to speak to gas, planets, stars, and nebula.

Cristina: Can we talk to our own star?

Jack: We don't know how to communicate with that.

Cristina: Yes. I mean, what the God. Oh. You said even nebulas?

Jack: Nebulas are the biggest of all clouds.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They are clouds that encompass many, many, many stars. So if we can get Akashita to.

Cristina: Help us, what do we know about him?

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Or it's.

Jack: I guess, here's the problem. We don't know s*** about him. We don't know s*** about Akashita other than probably Japanese.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And we know that he's one of the few clouds that have been seen to have a godlike appearance. Rarely. He's. He mostly looks like a normal cloud.

Cristina: What's a God like appearance?

Jack: Well, let me get there. He mostly looks like a normal cloud, but some people have reported. Now, this is taking what we heard about the name, the fact that it was whispered, you know, important, Important here and there.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then running that name through anyone and everyone we have on Earth that works for us. And then going deep into folklore and finding out they have. We have stories on Akashita in which we've seen a face in the cloud.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: And it gets covered up quick. It's fast. Like he's looking. And he reveals his face momentarily. And it gets covered up, but it's.

Cristina: Like a face made out of clouds.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: It's a cloud that can rapidly go from white to looking like a storm cloud. Black. And then back to white. Fast. Fast. And it'll look like a white cloud. Face shows up. It's just a dark cloud suddenly. And then boom, it's white again.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: Claws.

Cristina: Claws. It has claws.

Jack: Yes. Now, here's what's interesting. We've seen clouds that look like they have shapes, that look like they have hands, and look like they have Teeth. Just weird shaped clouds. It's possible. We've seen Akashita. Akashita could be one of the largest clouds and just covers a huge area. We would never know. It could be a tiny cloud that's just highly intelligent and everything else just lines up behind it. We don't know. The one detail that seems to stand out that is least cloud. Like what is the fact that rarely it's been reported that he has a red tongue.

Cristina: Oh my gosh. Why?

Jack: Don't know.

Cristina: Interesting.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: A cloud with a red tongue.

Jack: Yes. So we don't know which type of cloud he's hidden amongst. So we had to look at all our records, look at all the data collected on clouds that exists, and then review all the audio that we've collected of cloud dialogue, cross reference all of it and be left with what are the non civilian clouds. So the document we have has no civilian clouds in it. These are just the militarized clouds, the ones in charge of cloud civilization.

Cristina: And one of these are most likely the cloud we're looking for.

Jack: Yes. Akashita, the God of the clouds on Earth.

Cristina: Yes. And he has a tongue. That's really weird just to picture a cloud. And like, how do you even see the tongue? Is it a huge tongue?

Jack: Don't know. Don't know.

Cristina: He's like, if you see a face, like would you even see a tongue if a cloud had a tongue?

Jack: I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. It's a weird thing.

Cristina: It is very strange.

Jack: And the problem is it doesn't happen often. There's stories are. We're talking that in writing. We have a story from maybe three, 4,000 years ago and then another one from about a thousand years ago. And then one from like 500 years ago. And then no more mentions. And it's like he's rarely seen. The same way that even amongst the clouds he's rarely spoken of people on Earth rarely ever seen him.

Cristina: That's a pretty like he's elusive, huh?

Jack: We talk about f******. We found Bigfoot, bro. We could find anything. We gotta go find this s*** now. This is crazy.

Cristina: But he looks like a cloud.

Jack: He looks like a cloud of which there are an infinite number and they're always morphing into different shapes.

Cristina: Mm. That's the tricky part. Like he looks like any other cloud except for his tongue.

Jack: Yep.

Cristina: Which like what do we even notice?

Jack: Yeah, exactly. That's the problem, you see?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like weird. Weird how? Where do we start?

Cristina: Where do we start?

Jack: I don't well, this document is where we start. So this report has the clouds hierarchy based on what we know.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And somewhere among this structure, this military structure, is what we are looking for.

Cristina: Yay.

Jack: So we know that Akashita can be very, very bright and can also quickly rapidly become very, very dark.

Cristina: But the brightness is a special kind of bright. Like it looks different from any other cloud. Type of bright.

Jack: Don't know.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We don't know anything. We don't know anything about Akashira. We're gonna hope.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That the collective of information we have guides us in that direction. Cuz we don't know. It could be special kind of bright. That's something that some clouds feature as we will go through.

Cristina: Okay, good.

Jack: But also, who says it is? Because there's different kinds of white. Oh, you see, there's a problem.

Cristina: It's like, what?

Jack: So we got to figure it out. So when it comes to the military, there, we're gonna start at the very bottom of what seems is happening.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: And there's a type of cloud. Now, we don't know how do they refer to each other. This is titles we've given them, obviously. So when we communicate, if this works, if we can get them on our side, we'll know respectful terms, we'll know how to communicate, we'll know real titles as opposed to what we've been calling them. But they don't give a s***. Because we've been in a truce, they don't want to communicate.

Cristina: So hopefully, like their scientific names.

Jack: Yes. This is what we've basically labeled them as.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So there's a chorus, stratus. And this type of cloud is a very familiar cloud. We've all seen photos of it. It's usually a cloud that becomes like a ring in the sky. It looks like an indent in the sky.

Cristina: Yeah, I think I've seen pictures of that. Yeah.

Jack: Yes. What's interesting about this cloud is it is made of ice at a very high altitude.

Cristina: The cloud is made of ice.

Jack: The cloud is made of ice at a very, very high altitude. And it's usually in the shape of a halo. It's very round. Specifically the nebulous one. Now that's a type of charostratus. Now, all the clouds have different breakdowns within. So there's species of clouds, and within each species there's many types. Now, I'm excluding all the civilian types from here.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: I'm only specifically focusing on the one of Nikerostratus cloud that is militarized and that's the nebulosus one. That one is the one in the shape of a ring in the sky.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Yes. That cloud is made of ice and it usually highers the temperature when it's present. Behind it comes heat. It's usually increasing the temperature. So if you see it, it's usually lingering. It's not moving. It's a cloud that doesn't seem to move with the wind. It's so far above the wind that it lingers there. Chilling. Kind of like the halo shape that it is.

Cristina: And it's heating the area.

Jack: Interesting, right? It is a cloud of ice that warms the earth up. Well, very interesting. It seems to, wherever it stands, be sucking the cold out of the air. So it hangs out in the sky over you for a large period of time and just starts sucking the cold and turning it into. It just gets bigger and consumes all the cold wing, slowly increasing the temperature, temperature below it.

Cristina: Wow. And then eventually melts away.

Jack: Or eventually it leaves.

Cristina: It doesn't melt.

Jack: It's sucking out the cold. It's become colder.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: It's not sucking in the heat.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So it's sucking in the cold, becoming icier and colder. And then eventually it decides to get the f*** out and just dips. But it's not subject to the wind or anything. And it all also brings moisture and rain. So it's an interesting cloud that's doing the opposite of what you think it would.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's a giant frozen halo that increases the temperature and makes it rain.

Jack: Now this, these things happen over time. It lingers there for a while. It's a very slow progressing. So It'll be there 14 to 24 hours later. Detectable differences happen. So it's slowly slow.

Cristina: It sounds magical. But could people confuse the roundness of it with a face? Like a cloud with a face? Is that even possible?

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: Or like, can other clouds mix with this cloud to make it look like a face?

Jack: No. What's interesting about this cloud, and this is the only reason that it's put here? Well, I guess two reasons that it's put here. One, it's one of the militarized clouds. It's causing things to happen. Two, it's the only different set of clouds because all the other militarized clouds are part of the cumulus species. This is the only cloud that's militarized that is not one of the cumulus species that's particularly interesting. And immediately. And the fact that it's also one of the. It's the Only cloud that lingers in place.

Cristina: Which sounds like if it was going to be the God one that's. It's already the unique one.

Jack: Yes. It's in many ways hanging out, observing patiently, slow working, very godlike activities happening there.

Cristina: Yes, but it might not be.

Jack: It might not be. We don't know where it stands. We know that this thing comes ahead of a fleet always. It could be the God ahead, and the military follows it, decides where we need to be and how the strategy is gonna play out. Or it's the front line.

Cristina: Oh, it's the front line, huh? It could be the front line.

Jack: If it's a front line. If it's the front line, then it's definitely not God. No, because God would never just be the front line. He could be in the front, but it wouldn't be the front line. It seems that distinct shows up and sort of opens way for the rest of the clouds.

Cristina: Like scouting the area or something.

Jack: Yes, that's a great way to look at it. Seems to be the scout, because behind it always show up the other clouds.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And all the other clouds that are militarized are behind the cumulus are cumulus. They're all part of the same species, even if they have different races within the species.

Cristina: Okay, then let's learn about these other clouds.

Jack: So the cumulus cloud, these are kind of the majority. Everything that's in here. Every. All the military clouds are cumulus. Minus the castrata.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So cumulus clouds, the base of the cloud is flat. The bottom.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And they tend to have a puffy structure. So they look like bubbles glued together.

Cristina: Yes, they're the clouds that I like to draw.

Jack: They're the clouds that look. Yeah, they're the most common cloud, the one we see. Those are soldiers moving around. We didn't know this. All the other clouds, when you see like random one off clouds or whatever, or just kind of streaks that look like chemtrails, those are actually clouds themselves. This is type of cloud. So. Yeah, not chemtrails, but those are a type of cloud align with the wind and so they stretch out the way the wind moves.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Those are just civilian clouds. Those are all civilian clouds. But these typical clouds, we draw. We're drawing soldiers.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Military. We're drawing military. And they're also the largest of clouds. All the other clouds are much smaller.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But these clouds. No, now we confuse large for collective.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This is a problem. People don't realize that when you see huge clouds that cover the whole sky, you're looking at population, not individuals.

Cristina: Okay. There's no one cloud making.

Jack: No, there's a bunch. And to us, it looks like one. We can't tell the difference. They look. It's like water. You can have water drops or you can have the ocean. Okay, it looks like the ocean to us, but it's nice. There's a bunch of water drops put together.

Cristina: Are they different water drops or.

Jack: Yes, there. There are many different clouds up there.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: And they blend to look like one sheet.

Cristina: Mmm. All right.

Jack: It's just a diverse population. You know, normal. It's like United States. A bunch of different people.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: If you put us all together and you look from really, really far, we all look the same.

Cristina: Yeah. So what about this big boy?

Jack: Well, all the cumulus clouds are pretty huge. And they got that same puffy structure.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And they can either travel alone or come in clusters, depending on which type they are. So most of them vary. And they have both. So you can have. And you might not depending. So I'm assuming this is rank thing.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So these clouds can have high or low ranks, and depending on that, they might travel alone or not. Whether they be frontliners, maybe they're traveling alone, or maybe they are particularly high rank and thus they travel alone. I'm not sure how their military structure works.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But we know that that's definitely how it happens. And they are made of ice crystals.

Cristina: Ice crystals?

Jack: Yes, they are composed of ice crystals, which is particularly interesting. They move at what we're looking at is a lot of ice crystals, although rarely some are created by vapor. Now, what's interesting here is it seems that most of the clouds within the military are made of ice. So I'm assuming the vapor clouds are the non military cumulus clouds. That's to say that there are cumulus clouds that are not in the military, Although most military clouds are cumulus. Okay, so minus the corestrada, the saying goes, all military clouds are cumulus, but not all cumulus clouds are military. Yes, perfectly logical.

Cristina: Yeah, that makes sense.

Jack: All soldiers are humans, but not all humans are soldiers. Yeah, it works.

Cristina: It works.

Jack: Checks out. Okay, similarities. Good. Now, within the cumulus clouds, we're gonna talk about the different types of cumulus clouds, because this is where the important details come. If it's not a Kerastrata, are there.

Cristina: Gonna be some weird ones?

Jack: There are very strange ones.

Cristina: Okay, good.

Jack: And we're basically looking at three different tier levels.

Cristina: Ooh.

Jack: Now we have the mediocris. The mediocris cloud. This is a Particularly interesting cloud because it's blindingly white.

Cristina: It's blindingly white.

Jack: The top of this cloud tends to be very, very white.

Cristina: Just the top.

Jack: The top. Now, now get ready for where this is the most interesting. The bottom of this cloud tends to be very, very dark.

Cristina: Okay. That's already similarities probably to this God cloud thing. Yes. Okay.

Jack: Interesting, Right?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So we have really, really bright and really, really dark coexisting. So this could potentially at a high level, a high grade, really old one, an ancient one, a powerful one. However they do whatever they do.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Maybe the ability to be overtaken by either side shows up, which could allude to it being this God being a type of mediocre cloud. Now, these clouds usually move in sync with the currents of air, so with wind currents in horizontal movements. So wind goes from left to right.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The cloud is going to be stretched out from left to right, so it's main shape. So when we draw clouds and it has like a pointy side and then it gets big and then gets small again towards the back.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The. With the middle being the high point. The shape that we drew is basically following the current of the wind in that image.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: If we looked at it from the front, it would look perfectly spherical to us.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But if we look at it from the side, it looks stretched out.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because it's moving with the wind and the wind is just in straight lines, or not straight lines, but the wind is currents. So it stretches out with the current.

Cristina: Yes. They're following the currents. Like birds.

Jack: Yes, like birds do. They're sort of gliding on the current, except their body kind of molds to it the way water would.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: There's a lot of similarities between clouds and water. They are closely related.

Cristina: Yeah. They're made out of ice. So.

Jack: Yes. Now, the mediocris cloud is where things begin to get strange when it comes to clouds, because this cloud shows up and with it temperature begins to drop.

Jack: Yes. What now doesn't necessarily mean snow.

Cristina: No.

Jack: It could be the middle of summer and this cloud shows up. It just means. Well, you're probably going to have a breezy day instead.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: You know, you don't have to think immediately. A plunge to zero and everybody's freezing.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: It's just. It's going to get colder than it was.

Cristina: Okay. But it's not crazy.

Jack: Yeah. We have to understand the vast distance between us and the clouds and that we're not going to feel the effect as it feels so close to the cloud.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So while we might feel it's the middle of summer and it's 90 degrees and then a mediocre cloud shows up and it drops to 80. Up there it might have been 90 degrees. And when the mediocre cloud showed up, it dropped to 40. But we are very far apart.

Cristina: Okay. Okay.

Jack: So the effects are felt very differently between us close range and us far range.

Cristina: Not very magical, but. Okay.

Jack: Well, it depends. We don't know if they're trying to influence us. And why would they? If there's a truce, they're probably trying to do the minimum so that we also do the minimum.

Cristina: Alright.

Jack: You get my point.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So there had. It would be crazy if they just casually f***** with our environment consistently. Like, then f*** your s***. We're gonna pollute the crap out of you and choke you all out.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Then go back to war the way it was whenever the f*** all of this got truced.

Cristina: Mm. I guess not. Because then they'll have their vampire clouds after us or something.

Jack: I'm sure those vampire clouds are also f****** with them.

Cristina: Ah. Yeah.

Jack: It's not just. I'm sure they weren't protecting us necessarily, just purely protecting themselves.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: It's like if we get angry at the cloud that's eating the people, then we try to wage war. And they don't want that because again, we can pollute their air.

Cristina: We have.

Jack: But they stay away from it.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay. There's.

Jack: There's a mutual agreement. They destroy some of our s***. It's fine. It's give and take. They don't destroy the planet, we don't destroy the sky.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. That's perfect. Yeah.

Jack: Yeah, I guess. They wouldn't destroy the planet. They don't destroy the land.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And we don't destroy the sky. So fair. Now, these clouds are always seen ahead of the strata cumulus and the congestus clouds. These are two other type of clouds within the hierarchy. Right.

Cristina: Oh, all right.

Jack: Now let's move on to the next one. Right. So the strata cumulus. These are pack clouds. They're always together. Now, also, we're going based on size.

Cristina: We're going based on size.

Jack: We're going based on size.

Cristina: This is going to be bigger.

Jack: This is bigger. We're going from smaller to bigger. And we already began at the fact that the military clouds are all larger than all the other clouds.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So these are huge clouds. We're talking huge clouds. Monsters. And the strata cumulus is bigger than the mediocre cloud. And they travel in packs. You'll see many of Them together, moving. Huge herds of them, just traveling in packs. Giant, giant, giant, giant clouds.

Cristina: And what makes them different?

Jack: Well, they're known to be shaped in, like, rounder chunks, while the mediocre cloud is our typical looking cloud. It seems to be more fuzzy on the edges. It looks more sparsed, as opposed to the strata cumulus. That is the cloud that a child would draw where you would make the edges round. Like, literally bubbles glued together.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Before it was just a visual image. Does the edges of the clouds usually fade away? Normally speaking, and they're not perfectly round, but the idea of the shape, like if you took a paintbrush and you drew it the way, it would still have the same shape, but there'd be no perfectly round edges.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The strata cumulus cloud is that same cloud, but with perfectly round tops. Everything is like bubbles glued together. Bubbles. Giant bubble clouds moving everywhere.

Cristina: Like a kid's drawing. Yeah. Okay.

Jack: Kids drawing. And they move together. So there's a f*** ton of them.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Giant fleets of these things ten times larger than a mediocre cloud.

Cristina: They doing anything weird?

Jack: It depends on what you consider weird, because we already had the fact that the mediocre cloud drops the temperature, so we know that this is related to that. Now, these clouds, the stratocumulus clouds, are almost an omen of bad.

Cristina: Ooh. So are they, like dark clouds, though?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It's interesting that we have that mental image. But mostly what happens is clouds put together block off the sky, as opposed to the clouds themselves being dark.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Now, there are clouds that are dark.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And those clouds are not militarized clouds.

Cristina: Except the one before that has is dark, but with a bright top.

Jack: Dark on the bottom. Yes. That's a particularly interesting cloud. That's a weird dynamic going on there.

Cristina: But none of the other clouds are like that.

Jack: Well, all of the cumulus clouds have a flat bottom.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: They all have a flat bottom, but they don't have a dark bottom, if that makes sense.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So they're flat, and depending on how the light, that bottom could look dark. But for the mediocre cloud, that bottom is dark as opposed to looking dark.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Right.

Jack: So for the stratocumulus cloud, the bottom isn't dark. It could look dark.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And if it's tightly packed with water, it could be darker. But that's what makes the clouds dark. The rain within them. It's not necessarily that they're dark is that we're seeing less light through them.

Cristina: And why the. Why is this one The Omen?

Jack: Yes, it's an omen of bad because usually it causes extremely strong winds.

Cristina: Like tornadoes?

Jack: No, the winds that start to f*** with trees and the winds that start to create little dust devils and the winds that usually collide with one another. This cloud has the power to bring thunderstorms.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Which makes it a pretty interesting cloud.

Cristina: Could I picture this cloud with a tongue, though? Could you picture.

Jack: Now, here's the thing. If we're thinking of a cloud with a face, this is the most likely, Right? Because you think of the childish cloud that you draw a face on, and this is the same cloud you would draw a face on. You draw a bubbly cloud, and then you put a nice smiley face on it.

Cristina: And with the wind thing, you. You imagine a mouth blowing air or something.

Jack: Yes. You see how that works?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So there is an interesting visual going on here with the strata cumulus cloud fits the bill. Like, why did we start drawing this cloud with faces on it? This is the cloud that we've drawn throughout time with faces on it. None of the other clouds I've mentioned. It's specifically this cloud that we've drawn with faces on it. So we already have the first cloud that is the most unique cloud.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: We got the second cloud that has the dark light feature.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. This is hard.

Jack: I'm telling you. This is. This is why Document is here, first place. And then we have this third cloud that is literally the cloud that throughout history we've drawn a face on. And this one brings with it when some wind and thunder.

Cristina: This is tough.

Jack: Okay, interesting. Now, keep in mind, I said thunderstorm, not lightning storm. Key thing here is sound. No flash, nothing dangerous. Okay, Interesting. Right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's creating roaring sounds.

Cristina: It makes it more. Maybe it is it. I don't know. I don't know.

Jack: It's vocalizing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Keep in mind that. Yes, thunder is the scream of a cloud.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It's the war cry. The battle cry of a cloud is the battle cry done by the king of the clouds. The king of the clouds. Feel right. Could it just be the guy who blows the trumpet in the military that's not the king?

Cristina: No.

Jack: You know, now that guy is essentially this thing is the reason we drew a face on it, because these also have faces that we can see from the right angle because they are screaming, it's time for battle.

Cristina: That could be.

Jack: That could be it.

Cristina: We don't know.

Jack: But we know that these are the clouds we've drawn faces on, and we know that these clouds are Vocalizing. And we know that these. They're battle crying.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And they bring strong winds with them. Now, these clouds come ahead of the congestus cloud. Interesting. Yes.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The congestious cloud. So this is a weird cloud because now we're entering the area of.

Cristina: And this one is also a little bit bigger than the other one.

Jack: A little bit is an understatement. So this cloud is a vertical cloud. Now, imagine if you took already the strata cumulus cloud, and then you stretched it out vertically so that it's tall.

Cristina: Okay. What?

Jack: These are the clouds that we see in photos that look like a wall moving forward.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: But with the shape of the strata cumulus cloud, just very, very tall. So it's shaped like a tower. It's vertically outstretched. Now, this cloud shows up. Showers show it's bringing heavy rain with it or ice or snow, depending on the temperature.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Problems arrive where it shows up, and they are usually only present where there are strong winds, which seem to be made by the strata cumulus cloud. So the strata cumulus cloud introduces the.

Cristina: Congestus cloud, which sounds like something like. It sounds like something that would introduce the king.

Jack: Yes. Right. So he does the. The king. Introducing the king. And so this thing shows up. Boom, boom.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then this tall f****** cloud shows.

Cristina: Up and it comes. Rain comes with.

Jack: It either comes with a thunderstorm, with rain, with showers, a snowstorm, or a hailstorm.

Cristina: Whoa. That's pretty. I don't know. I don't know. But would that make, like. Would someone see faces in that type of cloud or claws or something? Like, would you be able to see shapes in something that looks like a tower?

Jack: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It has a more humanoid look because it's outstretched in this way.

Jack: You know?

Cristina: Yeah. Maybe.

Jack: Problems? Oh, so confusing.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: All of these s**** could be candidates for what we're looking for.

Cristina: Yes. Yes.

Jack: Because, again, the king, the leader, the God, the general, he doesn't look different from the soldiers. He's just another person. In fact, usually. Look at. Look at the mob, right? What do they do? They hire the biggest guys they can find.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: They're not usually the biggest guy. They're usually the brainiest guy, and they hire the biggest guys they find.

Cristina: So this can be.

Jack: Also a king does get introduced. We have a ceremony before the president walks up to a microphone.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We have the trumpets. Boop, boo, doo, boo. And then the president shows up.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So we have the ritual that says the following thing that's gonna come is the important thing. But we also know that bigger usually means the boss is smaller.

Cristina: Yeah, it means, like, it's the. It's the thing fighting. I don't know, it's. It seems more dangerous than leader, like.

Jack: Yes, exactly. Which brings an interesting outlook to the mediocre cloud. Because the mediocre's cloud shows up and he's not introducing anybody and he's, you know, he's not doing anything as opposed to being there and everything surrounding the mediocre cloud. And America's cloud fits the black white dynamic, the blinding white, the very, very dark.

Cristina: Exactly. Oh, no.

Jack: But the trumpet problem. Yeah, that's the weird part, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: On the flip side, it could be like old military days when we had a dude with a drum set. We just sent some dude to die in the front playing drums. Introducing the militia that's about to create h***.

Cristina: Yes. And that could be. That could be cloud.

Jack: So I'm thinking maybe that over the announcement of the king, but we don't know because we don't know what the f*** we're looking for.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: We got no information on this guy.

Cristina: Are there many in this military. What do you mean, many different clouds?

Jack: I mean, there's many clouds, but they're not many different clouds.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Yeah, most clouds are. They're all cumulus clouds. And there are only four types of cumulus clouds. We're looking at three of which are the main ones because the fourth one comes after this. You think we got to the end because I said three. The reason I saved the other one is because it also has a special name that we'll get to. So the congestious cloud not only is announced by the previous cloud and not only brings a heavy storm with it, whether it be rain, whether it be snow or ice, but it's, as we know, really, really tall.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And absorbently wide. It's got the width of the stratocumulus and the height of maybe 10 of them put together.

Cristina: It's a ridiculous cloud.

Jack: It's a ridiculous cloud. Also, important detail.

Cristina: What?

Jack: This cloud also has a battle cry.

Cristina: What? Then? No, it can't. What? Okay, yes.

Jack: Now, there's a vast difference between these two clouds, the stratocumulus and the congestus is. The loudness is very, very different. The stratocumulus is a focused, generalized. It's in a region, it's isolated, you know, and you can hear the. That's the sort of thunder that you hear that doesn't seem close. If it's far. But as opposed to the congestious. If it's far, you hear the rumble. Okay, that's a great way to describe it. You know the one that's like. That's one versus the boom.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Okay. The stratacumulus is a. The congestious is the boom.

Cristina: Boom. I don't know. I feel like that's more of an army thing too. Like, I don't see that as a big piece. I don't know. I don't know. This is hard to decide.

Jack: Yeah, we're looking for, like, f****** needle in a haystack at this point.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But the congestion cloud, always, always, always. As does the strata cumulus and the mediocris. They're always surrounding one other cloud.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Yes, all of these clouds. Now, we don't usually see them because when they're like this, they're blocking off the height. We don't see the height. We're blocking off the sky. We can't see up.

Cristina: Yeah. And they're blocking off a cloud.

Jack: Well, the cloud is visible. We just can't tell the difference because we're seeing them all from the bottom.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: The congestus cloud is not the biggest cloud. It's maybe one tenth the size of the biggest cloud.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Now following it is the cumulonimbus cloud.

Cristina: What a ridiculous name.

Jack: Yes. So the cumulonimbus cloud is about 10 times wider and about 10 times taller.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Huge f****** cloud. And it seems to stretch through all atmospheric levels from the lowest base, where a lot of civilian clouds hang out, to the tallest base where a lot of civilian clouds hang out, including the. Not civilian, singular, other cloud that hangs out at the very top. The chorus strata that creates a halo.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. I don't know.

Jack: This cloud stretches through all the different tiers.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Now, the visual I get from this cloud is when you think of old school military scenarios, and we would be walking, pushing a catapult on wheels.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Is this cloud the catapult?

Cristina: It does things too well.

Jack: Let's break that part down. So this cloud always, always, always surrounded by all the other clouds, never travels alone. That's already. Is this leader?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Or is this the weapon?

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Right. That's the problem. We treat both equally. We worship our weapon the way we worship our leader. So we're problematic. We can't tell the difference because they seem so similar to us, except we can't tell the difference, but we know this is the single largest cloud that exists.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And there's Usually one amongst all the others. Yeah, There aren't many of them. All the other clouds repeat, there are others like them within the group. But when there's many, many clouds together. Okay, so you can see any of these other clouds I've mentioned before by themselves, it could happen.

Cristina: But this one, it can't.

Jack: You've. You'll never see it by itself.

Cristina: Never see it by itself. That's very.

Jack: Yes, it's being protected by other clouds. Regardless of the reason it's being protected.

Cristina: By the clouds, whether it's the weapon or the ruler.

Jack: Yes, then. Now the. The shape of this cloud is also really interesting. So assume it has the same shape as the congestion cloud. This is a strata cloud that's very, very tall, except the top of it is wider and so is the bottom, so it's very, very wide. And then it looks like a mushroom cloud, like a nuke just went off.

Cristina: Poof.

Jack: And then a cloud comes up, and then the cloud forms on top of. That's the shape it has.

Cristina: This has to be the king. I don't know. Or whatever the God like. It looks very. It sounds very.

Jack: Now here's the one exception to this cloud that does not apply to all the other clouds. It's made out of vapor and not ice. It's already different. Even the corestrata doesn't have this characteristic. Every other cloud is ice all the way up into the congestus cloud. They're all ice. And then we have the cumulonimbus, this giant. This giant f****** colossal monster, even bigger, made out of vapor instead. How is it holding together?

Cristina: Yeah, what is happening here?

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Yes, but what kind of like if it is a weapon, what does it do?

Jack: Well, that's where the vapor actually comes into play, because vapor is water and it's collected water. And if this monster is so large, sometimes it's the size of cities. How much water is packed into one f****** place?

Jack: We're talking about a f****** monster. So let's break down. What happens when we see this monster. Anytime this monster is present, it's surrounded by a fleet of all the other cumulus clouds, as I've said, it immediately shows up with all the things and all the effects that they have.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The rains that they bring, the snows that they bring, the ice that they bring, the strong winds that they bring. All of that is present. There is a f****** stage. Now again, all of them could be by themselves. So all these things could happen in low degrees. But you see this big f****** monster. All of those things Must happen together. All of the abilities of all the other clouds must be happening together.

Cristina: Man, this has to be it. This has to be.

Jack: Yeah, because right now it's a song. It's an orchestra.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Everybody's doing their part. Why is everybody doing their part?

Cristina: Oh, we got a leader has arrived. Okay.

Jack: Has an interesting look to it already. Right. Now, air currents. You remember how I said the strata cumulus and the. Yeah, the strata cumulus lines up and the mediocre, they, like, follow the air currents. They stretch out in that way.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The thing creating the air currents is the cumulonimus cloud. Ah, interesting. So they're following orders.

Cristina: They're following the leader.

Jack: Now, is this the leader or just the higher ranking?

Cristina: No way. No. I don't know.

Jack: Because the problem is we still have the issue of the corestrada cloud, which it stands on its own. It's just a f****** one off by itself. Halo in the sky.

Cristina: But I don't know how you'd confuse that with a face.

Jack: Interesting. You got a point. You got a point. On the flip side, this cloud doesn't have light and dark attached to it. That seems exclusively tied to the mediocris cloud.

Jack: But then the cloud with the face is a stratocumulus cloud. We know. I'm pretty sure the congestus cloud does not count as a possibility because it seems to just be announcing something bigger, badder arriving, you know? Yeah, that seems to be the case here.

Cristina: Which would be the giant.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Mushroom.

Jack: Now, the question is, the stratocumulus cloud is also got a battle cry. It's the cloud that we draw with a face and it's screaming. Is it screaming orders or is it introducing the next problem, the congestious? Is the congestious screaming orders or is it announcing the next f****** problem?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: The cumulonimbus. Now, we've described the fact that it comes with many other clouds around it, all of the different cumulus clouds. And we've described the fact that it's the one directing the wind. Already kind of overpowered.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You're telling the wind what to do so that all the other clouds can move with more ease. You're overpowered because the wind is a different creature.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You have a different creature assisting you. Okay, we gotta look. We got some things to look at. Now this cloud shows up. What you thought I meant when I said that the strata cumulus cloud brings cold. And what you thought I meant when I said that the mediocre cloud brings cold. That's what this cloud does. The temperature f****** plummets.

Cristina: Mmm.

Jack: Powerful.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It just sinks it. This is. This cloud shows up and you went from 70 to 40.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: There you go.

Cristina: That has. I don't know. I don't know. That's. Now, that sounds pretty powerful.

Jack: It sounds pretty powerful. It's absurd how powerful this thing really is, because first this cloud shows up. All these other disasters, there's every other feature from every other cloud that's within this military and organized structure shows up. But things that don't even. That aren't even their previously show up.

Cristina: What do you mean?

Jack: Well, first, directing the wind. That's a different creature. Yeah, but let's stick to the theme of directing different creatures. Let's just stay there real quick. Tornadoes obey. This f****** cloud.

Cristina: Come on.

Jack: It shows up and tornadoes just follow orders.

Cristina: Waiting for Tony, because it's already telling.

Jack: The air what to do. It tells wind currents what to do. That's the water of the sky. It's telling the wind current what to do, which means air listens. So it's telling all the airs, all the winds what to do. Now, other clouds interact with some of the winds. You know, they got gusts here. Gusts. So they have small control over the winds.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But this cloud controls the air currents. Those are huge winds. It controls the biggest winds. Great.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But also the winds that directly come down and interact with Earth.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: All the other clouds avoid f****** with us on any major scale. This s*** shows up and it will.

Cristina: Just straight attack us with tornadoes.

Jack: With tornadoes. Right off the bat.

Cristina: Yes. This has to be it there. This has to be.

Jack: Now we think, oh, wow, you've maxed out on power already.

Cristina: There's more.

Jack: There's one more non f****** cloud creature that the cumulonimbus controls. And it's arguably the most dangerous of all the creatures. Including what seems to be more dangerous than the cumulonimbus cloud that's controlling a tornado.

Cristina: How?

Jack: Because lightning. Keep in mind, all the others are screaming. They got thunder. But lightning that shares the same battle cry as the clouds.

Cristina: The gods control thunder. Or at least Zeus did. Come on. This is Zeus. This is cloud. Zeus.

Jack: Cloud Zeus. It's kind of crazy, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So this cloud shows up and we have two different types of winds. The largest wind and the second most powerful wind obeying orders. We have lightning. Lightning obeying orders. Oh, s***.

Cristina: That's ridiculous.

Jack: None of these three features happened before minus the. The wind control. Some have small degrees of that. Gusts here or whatever. Not over powered gusts and wind currents and f****** tornadoes.

Cristina: The weather.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Like, not like this is the kind.

Jack: Of level still exists to stop.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Well, Steve, now, Steve. Yes. So that's just talking about what the f*** now what the f*** does this bring? It shows up. All the other storms are already happening from all the other clouds.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So what does this thing have to offer? Well, before ice, but this has what they call hailstones.

Cristina: What's that? What?

Jack: You've seen Those videos on YouTube of Hail the size of softballs coming from the sky.

Cristina: It's coming out of this vapor cloud.

Jack: This cloud is making ice out of its own vapor and it's coming down, raining, about as powerful as a tornado. So it's not just controlling lightning and controlling tornadoes and controlling the wind currents.

Cristina: This is a ridiculous.

Jack: It's manifesting softball sized ice that rains down and plummets and destroys.

Cristina: It's ridiculous.

Jack: Yep. And it's the extreme hailstorms is what they're considered. And they drop hailstones.

Cristina: This thing probably is the thing that got rid of those vampire like clouds.

Jack: That's probably who they called in. Yes. And all things considered, we're assuming these vampire clouds are still down here and that's why these military things are still rolling around.

Cristina: Mm. It could still be the leader. It could be the strongest and the leader at the same time. Yeah.

Jack: Yeah, it could be. And additionally, the mixture of all the clouds surrounding it and the tornadoes and the lightning and the air currents shifting and all of this syncs up to create flash flooding that happens instantaneously. So it also interacts with the water at ground level and rises it. So it brings the water up. It sends everyone. It does all the things.

Cristina: It does all the things. Wow.

Jack: Godlike power.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's the only cloud here that doesn't fit the suit of what we're looking for because it doesn't have the ability to change color. It's not the cloud that we've, for whatever reason, attached a face to forever. And it doesn't seem to be a cloud giving orders in any way. We can hear. We can hear the strata cumulus and the congestion talking.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Whether giving orders or announcing something, we can hear them communicating. We know the strata cumulus is the only one with two features we're looking for because it's the same one that throughout history we've drawn with a face. So that's. That's a high contender there.

Cristina: That is.

Jack: But it's just a normal colored cloud as opposed to the mediocre cloud that can go from black to white and white to black. But none of them are as unique and stand on their own the way the corestrada does.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But none of these clouds individually are anything to worry about except the cumulonimbus cloud. But also is that true? Because a cumulonimbus cloud is relying on the collective effort and it has control of other things. Those are dangerous. It's control of other things. And the hail ability it has that nothing else has. But the amount of rain, the collective number of clouds affecting wind. All these other things.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Are playing together. So is it this overpowered or is it the fact that it's only around when everybody's together, the band is together. I can play a flute alone. And my flute isn't dangerous, but I can play a flute, part of my orchestra, and a f****** colossal epic sound comes from that same flute as part of this bigger picture. Is it the flute or is it itself, the orchestra? And it doesn't need all the other parts. We don't know. Because it's never alone. The fact that it's never alone gives it, I guess, it and the Strata Cumulus both are high contenders because they have two features at least, because this one is the strongest by miles.

Cristina: I have an idea. It sucks. It's a sucky idea. But because we already know there's blood drinking clouds. What if this godlike cloud, like other God like beings, can shapeshift and can.

Jack: Go from one to another?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Oh, I never considered shape shifting clouds because we see them actively shapeshift, but we're just confusing what we're looking at. They're not really shape shifting.

Cristina: They're not really. But what if this God cloud can do that?

Jack: The question is if it's a shape shifting cloud. Okay, okay, finish your thought, Finish your thought. Because I'm trying to piece it together. So it shape shifts, right?

Cristina: Yeah. So it could be any of these clouds at any moment. So it could be the dark cloud that they see that turns to a light cloud.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: But it's because it's maybe really two different clouds.

Jack: Interesting. So it could just be really dark one moment, really bright the next. And if this were the case, assuming like most gods, there's a neutrality to them, to go from a literal halo in the sky to a demonic monster that drops softball f****** size hail and controls every element.

Cristina: It sounds very godlike, like from the stories of like they could be very violent.

Jack: Yes. And we know most gods are people who upgraded sometime before our knowledge and record and became these overpowered things. So Zeus was a guy. Jehovah was a guy. Like, these are people who figured out usually fear or adrenochrome and work their way up there. We assume the clouds have something similar.

Cristina: That's exactly what I'm thinking. The clouds might have something similar. And this one cloud was like the other clouds. But something of course happened and whatever.

Jack: Happened to it might be the same thing that caused the vampire clouds occurred.

Cristina: Yes. They might.

Jack: They might find the same thing. Well, you just made it more complicated because how are we gonna find this f****** thing? If it shape shifts and it could be any type of cloud, then we can't find it within the clouds. Because we also don't know which clouds are changing at any given moment. Because we thought they were all changing. We didn't know they were individual clouds. Only upon deeply digging do we realize clouds aren't changing shapes. They just look like they're merging and shifting to us at a distance.

Cristina: Well, if there's one, that one will stand out. If we now know that none of them are changing except for one, then it should be easier to notice.

Jack: We'd have to be looking when he's changing. Yes, that's the problem.

Cristina: The birds will do it for us.

Jack: Well, we have to. Well, the problem is nobody talks about him. The clouds don't talk about him. Humans don't talk about him. He's elusive.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: We got nothing but records on everybody else. Even Santa Claus, who f****** figured out how to stay out of the picture and get everything he needs. We have nothing but abundance on him. He still relies on being recognized as opposed to. He changes it in that he's not feared and he doesn't give you a bunch of arbitrary rules. But we still know about him. Yeah, the cloud. The one difference we seem to have with the clouds, because there's a lot of similarities apparently. But the big difference we seem to have with the clouds is the fact that their leader is quiet. We don't know s*** about him.

Cristina: But we have an animal that might help us out.

Jack: Phil.

Cristina: Once he. Steve.

Jack: Steve. Yeah.

Cristina: Once he figures out his powers, like maybe he'll be able to sense it. We don't know how his powers evolve.

Jack: Oh, God. Yes. You got it. You got it. You figured out. You figured out. Yes. 100.

Cristina: 100 to that that's noticed something different. Something different about these clouds. If we talk. We gotta educate him on this stuff.

Jack: Yes. Had we asked Phil, maybe he would have, man. Then maybe wouldn't have. But like Phil had. He doesn't owe a s***. But Had Phil been around. He. Maybe he's many times interacted with this thing.

Cristina: Yeah, we have no idea. But we never got to talk to him.

Jack: Yes, but Steve. Well, he literally had to f******. Yeah, whatever. We had to f****** kill him ourselves. That sucks. Anyways, Steve, maybe he'll be able to send some.

Cristina: Holy s***.

Jack: Okay, you solved it. You solved it. We. So we do need. Unquestionably undoubtedly, we need Steve. There's no way we can figure this out.

Cristina: Yeah, we need to, like, get his training up or something, you know? Like, I know he's still training, but.

Jack: He'S got a. I mean, he's already doing a good enough job to have stopped whatever apocalypse was starting.

Cristina: Yeah. So hopefully this task isn't impossible for him.

Jack: Well, my question would be, is Steve. Well, Phil, in this case, was Phil keeping the clouds at bay? We think there's a truce, but the second we didn't have Phil, they went wild. They went wild. So there was. They were being kept in check.

Cristina: They immediately covered have been communication then.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And maybe the response wasn't because s*** went haywire. Maybe it's because they know we killed them. As opposed to anything. The communication cut and they're like, you f****** killed the homie.

Cristina: Yes. They knew something went wrong.

Jack: They knew something went wrong.

Cristina: And they were freaking out.

Jack: And they were freaking the f*** out.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: We're learning. Okay.

Cristina: They're like us. We would freak out.

Jack: Yes. 100%.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: If the clouds took out Phil, we would have a problem.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Fair. Fair. Okay. Yes. All the pieces come together. Yes. So right now, Steve is somehow communicating with him in a sense that we don't understand. A way that his powers are allowing to communicate. And maybe he can. We just got to ask him.

Cristina: Yeah. He might not even understand until we really educate him on this too. Yeah, he's just really figuring out it's Phil.

Jack: Yeah, maybe you think it's Phil. And they're like, okay, cool.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Interesting. Okay, we got questions, answers, and a way to track this f****** guy.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Man, this is just complicated. So now we can track Akashita, hopefully. And we can see what Steve knows.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: If he knows anything. And if he doesn't, we can educate him on what we just discovered. And using that information, boom, we're good.

Cristina: Mm. And we'll figure out if this God does turn into different clouds or not.

Jack: But you should be able to send some figure out.

Cristina: Yes, exactly. So.

Jack: And then we can get him to help us. Oh, perfect. We got. We didn't think about this before, but Phil Might have just been communicating with them. And they were on his side and they were helpful and he was the mediator.

Cristina: Man. We had that answer all along.

Jack: We had the answer all along and then we f****** killed it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We had to. It was them, him or us.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So, f***, he was gonna die up there anyways. If he killed all of us. We still didn't have what he needed. He was just gonna suffocate out there.

Cristina: That was some weird. That was a weird week.

Jack: And then what is gonna. What would have happened? Well, actually, he's in the Shadow Realm, so it's only a matter of time before we have to deal with that problem.

Cristina: Who's in the shadow Realm?

Jack: Phil.

Cristina: I thought we murdered him.

Jack: Exactly. But he was on adrenochrome.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So he goes to the shadow Realm. So it's only a matter of time before. That's another problem. We didn't think about this too well, but that's okay. Now we know we gotta anticipate this. We gotta be ready, because he might actually go after Steve. So Steve needs training. Training?

Cristina: Yes. To fight some evil ghost Phil.

Jack: Some Shadow Realm Phil. Gin Phil.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: Yet. Okay. Anyways. Anyways, hopefully you guys like the breakdown that we just went through, because we definitely needed this information. And thank you to Christy here for piecing that together, because it was not clicking in my f****** head. But yes, definitely. To all of it.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Good.

Cristina: Train Steve before he probably gets killed by Phil.

Jack: Yeah, train Steve so he doesn't get killed by Phil. And so he could understand how to track Akashita. And so that he can tell us whether it was him keeping the clouds at bay and that they weren't. The temperature didn't freak the f*** out. Weather didn't freak out.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: They were reacting.

Cristina: Communicate. Well, what's the plan?

Jack: We're trying to get them to side with us because we have a mutual enemy, which is the cat people.

Cristina: Okay, so they're going to go with us to space.

Jack: No, we're going to communicate. We're going to get them to talk to the gaseous planets and to tell us what's happening. To give us answers.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And that if this is the case, then because these stars have the ability to work through entanglement, perhaps they can communicate with the prisoner stars. Maybe we can go free stars. Have stars on our f****** side and elevate how we interact. Go to other f****** galaxies and do s***.

Cristina: All right, all right. Wow.

Jack: We're at the cusp of our power going.

Cristina: This is ridiculous.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We're playing at the level of gods. And it works because now we have a God on our side. Yes, it helps to have a God on your side. Anyways, I hope you guys like this conversation. There are many others like it. You could find out how Phil f****** died in the first place that required us to make Steve and get his help. You can find out all the different God conversations we've had that one time we have to deal with the f****** weather, the things that led to all the disasters surrounding that week. It's literally called disaster week.

Cristina: You go look so much disasters.

Jack: Yeah. So s***'s hitting the fan left and right.

Cristina: We're f****** fixing things, cleaning it up.

Jack: You can also go find out about the cat people and any other mythological creatures that there might be that might all just be science related one way or another. Well, not really. There are some creatures with powers, including things from the shadow realm, which you might also want to encounter because Phil is eventually gonna come back for us. You know, a bunch of s***. All of that is on the feed. You can go get that anywhere you get your podcast or on the official website, greathoughts.info or an Apple podcast, Spotify, blah, blah, blah.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe if you want more stuff like this. It's how you get informed on what's happening here in universe one. And if you are from universe three, think about all the things you're missing and you can hear us reporting on it. So remember to subscribe and rate, review.

Cristina: The show and let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes, word of mouth, viciously important in these days when we need everybody and everybody to know what's going on. So tell people. Tell people to listen to what's happening right under their noses. The things that we protect them from.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: I don't know. I mean, the point is that they're not in danger because we deal with it.

Cristina: Exactly.

Jack: So, like, they don't need to know if you're curious. I guess if you know people who are curious, tell them.

Cristina: Yeah. And this has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: I like the ones from, like the actual ones from the show called the Ghost Hunters. I haven't seen that in years. I don't know if they're still alive.

Cristina: Are they still any good?

Jack: But their methods, I like at least their claim, which was that they're not there to prove a place is haunted. They don't. Or they approach it like they don't believe in ghosts. They're skeptical about everything. They go there to disprove the haunting.

Cristina: And I think find some reasonable explanation of what's going on, and I think.

Jack: That'S the right way. They're using the scientific method.

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 133: The Reason for Butts

Butts, Just Conversation, JustConvoPod, Ass, Sexy, Attractive, Nature, Podcast, Discussion

Why do we love big butts? Why is it something we can’t lie about? What is the purpose of butts to begin with? And how do we solve the little but problem? The origin and evolution of butts discussed in this episode of Just Conversation!

Rambling 133: The Reason for Butts

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

  • Baboon Butts
  • Mating Rituals
  • Humps
  • Psychological Geometry
  • Smart Butts
  • Wombat Armored Butt
  • Butt Syrup
  • Turtle Butt Air
  • Magical Soul Butt Ball
  • Ass Diving Little Green Men
  • The Dragon King
  • Team Rocket

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner, so be sure to grab somebody and force them to listen with you. It's an obligation. The government made it law. The president passed that law to force.

Cristina: People to listen to it.

Jack: To force people to listen to. Yeah, this happened a couple of days ago. The President put a bill that went straight to the Senate and House of Congress, and the judges also ruled on it. And.

Cristina: And it's only law here in this country. It's not the world.

Jack: It's in the world. The President made a law that the world has to follow.

Cristina: How does that work?

Jack: It just works.

Cristina: I don't think.

Jack: So he went ahead and he sat down and grabbed this pen and he scribbled. He scribbled on this piece of paper. He's like, they will listen. They will listen.

Cristina: And they did listen.

Jack: Well, no, he passed the bill. And then from that day forward, everybody has to sit their a** down and listen.

Cristina: I don't know why the world has to listen to.

Jack: The world has to listen to him.

Cristina: That makes no sense.

Jack: Because nukes.

Cristina: Because nukes.

Jack: Because nukes. War happens. If you don't listen to the Just Conversation podcast, if you don't make somebody listen to the Just Conversation, it's more important.

Cristina: It's not about listening. It's about making someone listen.

Jack: Yeah, you gotta find people, sit them down and make them listen.

Cristina: Why? Okay. Yes. Okay. So you're listening now. Are you listening? Okay, good, good.

Jack: Yeah. If they can hear this, it's because they sat their a**** down and they're listening.

Cristina: Okay, people, I need you guys to use your imagination while I ask you something. What animals have big butts?

Jack: What animals have big butts?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Baboons.

Cristina: Baboons. Rampoons do have big butts. Why do you think they have such big butts for?

Jack: I don't know. Because they don't really sit on their butts as often as you'd think.

Cristina: It's gotta be a mating thing.

Jack: You think they use it to. It's like the bird's feathers.

Cristina: The bigger and redder the butts, the more attractive it looks.

Jack: That's what it is.

Cristina: Yes. It's like a competition.

Jack: Who has the biggest, reddest b***.

Cristina: Yes. And then they get the mate. I mean, whoever, I guess. I don't know how they compete in this contest. It's not like a human contest type of thing. Who knows? Maybe they offer walk in front of the guy, show the b*** or whatever. Dance with her b*** sticking out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jack: The chick is the one competing here?

Cristina: Yes, it's the chick competing. Whoa.

Jack: It's usually the guy.

Cristina: Yep. But.

Jack: So butts are, like, universally a guy thing?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Whoa. Interesting.

Cristina: That is so weird. But yes.

Jack: Or is it just a primate thing?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: It's like apes.

Cristina: Like apes. I don't know if apes like. But I know human men like butts.

Jack: You just mentioned an ape that likes butts.

Cristina: Except. Oh, yeah, I guess that ape. But that's a specific type. I don't know if all apes.

Jack: Yeah. Because most apes don't have butts.

Cristina: Yeah. They weren't made like that. I don't know.

Jack: But if they did have butts, the men would be the one who liked those butts.

Cristina: Yes. Is that weird?

Jack: That's pretty strange, considering in every other thing ever that's ever happened in all of history and time, it's the female who gets to choose, not the male.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: It's really just a monkey thing. We're just like, no, we, the man, we pick. What the f***?

Cristina: So you get it from your monkey brothers back then when we chose by butts?

Jack: Yeah, I guess. I guess that makes an argument for coming from baboons.

Cristina: Yeah. You think we come from baboons? I don't come from baboons. Yeah.

Jack: I think we come from chimpanzees, actually. I'm not entirely sure.

Cristina: Maybe if they care about butts. Their butts are different, though, from our butts.

Jack: They don't got butts.

Cristina: They don't have butts.

Jack: Chimpanzees don't have butts.

Cristina: Well, primates. Their butts, though, are different from our butts.

Jack: But boon. Butts are different from our butts. I guess it would be the closest to our butts. Yeah, but like you're talking about, the area where their a****** is located is very different.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Yes, yes, yes.

Cristina: Is that weird? I don't know, because. I guess it's because we're using our butts differently. Our legs, our bottom part of our body is used differently. Like they're using theirs to climb things.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Well, we're. We have this b*** to help us somehow run.

Jack: The b*** helps us run.

Cristina: Yes. And sit of course.

Jack: Well, it helps us sit. How does it help us run?

Cristina: I don't know. Somehow the design of the b*** is helping us walk and run the way we do. Which it doesn't help with primates, the way, like, they don't run like we run.

Jack: So to get this straight, we started walking. Those of us that began to walk up straight and that became our advantage over the other creatures.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That couldn't see so far over the grass. Those just developed butts. Like, they got booty cheeks.

Cristina: Who has booty cheeks?

Jack: All this. All the primates began standing to see.

Cristina: Farther through the grass. Yeah.

Jack: That's why they survived longer. They can come down from the trees and see a predator further away.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because they can look over the grass while others struggle to do that for longer. In fact, we can just keep walking standing upright while the other apes couldn't do that. And so we could see some, like, creature in a distance.

Cristina: Yeah. So those develop butts. Yeah. And we're part of those.

Jack: Yeah. But so just, just being, just doing that gave us a**** like.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like plump booties.

Cristina: Yes. Well, there's theories of why men are attracted to butts. So it might be a thing like you evolved in us to have a nicer looking b***.

Jack: Evolutionary purposes.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You gotta be able to meet more.

Cristina: Yes. No. Is that. Yeah. But butts. But it's more than just the b*** that men are attractive to, oddly enough. It's the curve of the b***. Of the b***. Yes. The back b*** thing. It has to be a specific 45.5 degrees. That's the magic number.

Jack: Yeah. Because it can't be 90 degrees. It's too much. It has to be like a particular slant. And that also applies not just to the b*** cheeks from behind, looking at it from the side, but the hips that form the b*** cheek as well from the front and the back, which gives the hourglass shape. It's that general region.

Cristina: Do you know why, though? Like, why that specific. Why such a specific degree?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: That's so weird.

Jack: I guess it's the optimal shape. It's as hourglassy as it gets. Any more and you start losing hourglass shape. Any less and you start losing hourglass shape. It's about 45 degrees.

Cristina: Yeah. They like when they were testing out how. What about big butts, Men, like, they tried different things besides the curve because they thought that was weird. It was a curve. The excess fat or excess muscle. Those three different options.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: And the curve would win. So it's really about that curve yeah, yeah.

Jack: We want meaty a**.

Cristina: And they think it allows. They think men. That curve helps women to walk around and easily when they're pregnant and stuff. So they can find food and things. So they think evolutionary. It was just a benefit for the lady. That's why guys find it attractive.

Jack: How do they find food? Because of their b***.

Cristina: Like, they could walk around without injuring their back or anything. It's not a pain to be when they're pregnant to do things that they would normally do when they're not pregnant.

Jack: Why would their back hurt less? Because they have a b***?

Cristina: Because of the curve. The curve is the thing we're talking about. Like, it's part of the b***, but it's the curve that's connecting to the b*** is helping the pain. Not pain, but the back.

Jack: I guess it's sort of diffusing the center force. It's bringing it more towards the center by having something extra sticking in that direction. While you have something sticking in that direction.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Now you're more centered, and then you.

Cristina: Can do more things, and therefore you're more helpful.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: So that's interesting. Yeah. The degree. Who cares? I mean, I guess we can.

Jack: Everything is math. Everything is math.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Why do people like pizza?

Cristina: Why do people like pizza?

Jack: It's a circle cut into triangles that you put in a box.

Cristina: But then wouldn't all foods be something like that? Are they all like that?

Jack: No. They either taste good or something like pizza that, when you really break it apart, doesn't really. And it also looks kind of like vomit.

Cristina: I feel like hot dogs aren't the greatest looking or the greatest tasting, but people still eat that cylindrical. The shape of it.

Jack: Yeah. It's like a perfect cylinder. That's why when math goes into something, the taste and look of it goes out the window.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Now, if it tastes good, it doesn't matter what it looks like. And it doesn't matter if it's in a specific shape.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But if it isn't tasting good and it doesn't look good, then it's the shape that's doing it.

Cristina: The shape.

Jack: In the case of pizza, the cheese itself isn't like the people think it's the cheese. People like cheese.

Cristina: But she's not great.

Jack: It's not doing enough.

Cristina: It's not doing enough.

Jack: In fact, you can find out that the favored pizzas in the world are all where the slice itself is the most triangular, really. If the slice is too long.

Cristina: But there are weirdos that like the square pizza.

Jack: Yeah. And that's why Those aren't that popular. Think about it.

Cristina: Ah, they're not that popular.

Jack: No. Because it's a box inside of a box. Who cares?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Well, you can locate all of these problems. The more that the more triangular it is, the more people like it.

Cristina: That's a sexy pizza.

Jack: Sexy pizza.

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: And the more solid the triangle, the better as well. So like, people definitely enjoy holding a domino slice, which is shorter and way more triangular.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Than like a Pizza Hut really long one that like bends towards the tip because it's so like it's not solid. Even if out of all of them, obviously Papa John's is the healthy alternative. It tastes better.

Cristina: It tastes better.

Jack: But Papa John's doesn't have that perfect domino's shape. Yeah, domino's is made of garbage. It's just all poison that they're putting into there. Not to say Papa John's isn't. But out of all the options, Papa John's is the closest to healthy you can possibly get. Not that it's healthy, but you know.

Cristina: What if you made it at home?

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Wouldn't that taste better or it wouldn't because you wouldn't be able to make it as perfect as the domino one.

Jack: Well, it's not the taste, it's the shape. No matter what that's pleasing you.

Cristina: The shape of it.

Jack: Yeah. You're convinced if it could taste like crap, you're convinced it tastes good because the shape.

Cristina: Oh, okay. What? Oh. And. And another reason men love big butts or women with big butts is that women with big butts are smarter and have smarter children. Something to do with the fatty stuff that's in there? I don't know. There's some magic stuff thing in the b*** that helps makes more kids. There's a unique fatty acid that's inside the woman's beauty that's stored in the fat of the b*** that is important to the baby's development. Brain for the baby's brain.

Jack: So bigger b***, smarter kid.

Cristina: Yes. There you go. That's your reason to start hunting for big butts. It's not about the curve. Although you could explain it as the curve, but like that makes you look crazy. If you went to people like, I need 40 set 45.5% degree curve. Before I'm with you have to like check it with a, I guess a ruler or something. I'm not sure how people are checking this out.

Jack: It was sort of be like a ruler. It's a two sided ruler.

Cristina: A two sided ruler? Yeah.

Jack: You know where you know those rulers that you use? Not a ruler, but that thing you use, like when you want to draw a perfect circle, you like put the pencil in the thing and you lock it and it has a pointy end and you put that and you spin it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: There's a ruler that has that shape and basically as you open it, all it does is tell you how much degrees open it is.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Then you put that next to your a** and you're like, oh, 45, that's the one.

Cristina: I think I'm gonna be that weird person. I want to get that and check it out on people and try to.

Jack: Find the perfect 45 degree booty.

Cristina: Yes. What if I have it? I hope I do. Who knows?

Jack: You hope you have a perfect 45 degree booty?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You gotta buy that ruler.

Cristina: I will. And also, but that's a great reason to look for people with big butts is you just say I want smart.

Jack: Children and big butts equals smart children.

Cristina: Yeah, there you go. It makes so much sense.

Jack: So there's biological sense to want a nice a**. So all this bullshit about all a**** matter, you know, all shapes matter. What about small booty chicks? No, she's gonna have a r*****.

Cristina: What if she does surgery? Then you don't even know.

Jack: That's where being, that's where plastic surgery is a problem. Because she's gonna have fake big booty. And so your kids are gonna. And it's because she lied to you and pretended she had a big booty.

Cristina: Yes, of course.

Jack: But at the end of the day, survival, right?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So from their perspective, that's also like allowed because you have to survive by making children. By making children. Even if your children gonna be dumb because your b*** is small.

Cristina: I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Jack: It should be that apparently based on this information, all women with flat booties should die alone is what we're finding out.

Cristina: That's not what we're finding out.

Jack: That's exactly what this information said. It said we need to remove all the Hispanics from the camps we have so that we have space to start moving in the flat booted women so that we could just remove them from society. Because think about it, maybe the problem is that so many women have been creating fake booties and then guys have been mating with these women with fake booties and now those kids have grown up and run the world. Ah, that's the problem.

Cristina: No way.

Jack: That's the problem.

Cristina: Isn't it recent? This whole Big fake booty thing. Like those children aren't old enough to run the real world.

Jack: Those children were born in the 90s.

Cristina: But it's become super popular, like in the tens.

Jack: Rap made it popular, but.

Cristina: Yeah, but it's still the surgery, the expense and everything. Like now people could do it more easily.

Jack: Oh yeah, it's going to be more of a problem. Yeah, but before the fact that these flat booties women were coming across like they had big booties and they were allowed to mate instead of being sanitized.

Cristina: Oh my gosh.

Jack: You see the problem? So now what we have is flat bootied women mating and having dumb children. And then those dumb children being in their early 20s right now.

Jack: And they're the ones who are over here. But like those are the gen f******. What is it Z? Is that what the f*** they are? Gen X? I don't know, whatever the f******. The dumb kid, the Tide pod retards. Those morons are out here trying to like activism and cancel everything and like no, everything is wrong and, and, and gender. 3 million different names and there's definitely difference between women and men. Except if they want to do the same jobs and like what the f***? Oh my God. That's the same group of people that happened because flat bootied women pretended to have big booties and they made it. We shouldn't allow that. We found the problem.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. What would you trade that for? The baboon booties.

Jack: What do you mean baboon booties?

Cristina: Like do you wish women had big.

Jack: Red booties so that we can tell like your booty isn't red enough? You're bullshitting. Yeah, like your booty might be big, but it ain't red.

Cristina: Surgery to get it more red, they'll.

Jack: Get like some kind of spray tan equivalent. Oh, we'll find a way. People will find a way, man. It's human nature. Yeah, that quote from Jurassic Park. Nature always finds a way.

Cristina: So. Oh my gosh. They're gonna dye their butts.

Jack: They're gonna dye their butts and then they're gonna still mate and we can't stop it.

Cristina: What about the superpower of having an armored b***? Would you want an armored b*** like the wombat?

Jack: The wombat has an armored b***?

Cristina: Yes. It's filled with cartilage to protect itself.

Jack: From getting a** raped?

Cristina: From getting bit in the b***, I guess because it lives underground. So when it' running from the predator, it could smash the predator. It's actually defense and offense. It could attack. It's with its B***. Swinging its b*** and crash. That, you know, hit the head of the predator.

Jack: So it does like. Like giraffes and, like, swings its a** the way a giraffe swings its neck.

Cristina: I guess so. And it just destroys the head of the. What is dingle or Tasmanian devil that's chasing it.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting. So it's, like, really, really hard.

Cristina: Yeah. So would you like that?

Jack: Why would I like that?

Cristina: As a power or something? I don't know. No, no, no. You don't want a super b***. We're gonna find out what type of super b*** you want.

Jack: There's more than one super b***?

Cristina: Yes. This is just the first of many. Oh, no. This is the first of a few. The sea cucumber does a really interesting thing. I wouldn't want this power. I don't know. I'm very iffy about could shrink its body. And then it ejects its internal organs out of its b*** and onto its predators. And the organs are poisonous. So the fish die. A lot of the fish are poisoned. Like, it'll get poisoned and die.

Jack: But does the fish die too?

Cristina: No, the organs. Or some of the organs regenerate. That's the big problem to me. Some of the organs regenerate. I don't know, like. But I guess it's the important ones, Right? Like, it's still alive. It takes six to 10 weeks to regrow those organs.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: So, like, I feel like it's very dangerous, though, in that period of time when you're waiting for those things to grow back. How are you hunting for your own food? Unless Sea cucumbers don't need that type of food.

Jack: But it's spewing its organs through its b***.

Cristina: Yes. It's b***. Ho. It's just, like, vomiting its organs out. Can we say vomiting? I don't know. It's pooping.

Jack: Yeah, it's pooping its organs.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's like the worst kind of diarrhea.

Cristina: Yes. Would you like that?

Jack: No.

Cristina: I don't know. It's. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be that either. I like the wombat b*** more. Although the baboon b*** is pretty interesting. I don't know.

Jack: But the baboon b*** doesn't have powers.

Cristina: I know. It just gets really big and red and it's finally a lady doing the dance instead of the guy, which is unique and different.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: But I think wombat booty for me for now wins.

Jack: An armored booty.

Cristina: Yes. And there's this skipper, capis that can launch its poop.

Jack: It's a Cactus caterpillar. Oh.

Cristina: Oh, Skipper. There's a. There's a skipper caterpillar that launches its poop.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Yeah, the poop is like little pellets, and it has, like, a special b*** launching pad, which it just, I guess, stores the poop until it needs it, and then it shoots it out to attack its predators.

Jack: Does it kill anything with it?

Cristina: I don't think so. I think it just probably, like, distracts the enemy and then runs away.

Jack: Got it. That makes sense. So, like, very slowly runs away?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like, really?

Cristina: It's a caterpillar. It's not a caterpillar. That slow?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Oh. I mean, maybe it causes some damage if it's like a boulder. When you fire a boulder at something that's gonna hurt, I don't think it's that strong, but, like, it'll annoy the villain. The villain, the predator, enough to be like, okay, I'm not gonna eat you. I'm going away.

Jack: Is that what happens?

Cristina: Yeah, I think so.

Jack: They just shoot their poop and the creature runs away?

Cristina: Yeah, maybe. Either that or yeah, I think it would, like, bother the. The. It would bother the predator enough that the. It would run away. That makes sense to me. Would you like that attack?

Jack: I guess that sounds better than the other ones.

Cristina: Then the wombat armor. I don't know. There's a. There's a tiny whale, a pygmy sperm whale. Most whales, their defense is being humongous. They're all humongous. Like, they don't need a defense. Their size is their defense. And this little whale has, like, it's. It has a special bladder of syrup, of b*** syrup that it shoots out when an enemy is attacking.

Jack: Keyword, b*** syrup.

Cristina: B*** syrup. Yes. It's cloudy, reddish brown goo that just, like, harm. It's harmful to the enemy. I don't know if it kills the enemy, but it's enough to distract the enemy so it could run away. Swim away. So you could swim away.

Jack: So boot syrup. Boot b*** syrup.

Cristina: B*** syrup? Yes, that's the scientific word for it. Okay.

Jack: Does it have a scientific word for the b*** syrup?

Cristina: No idea. It probably does, but it's just probably poop. I don't know. But that's an interesting evolution. Instead of doing the size thing like all the other whales, it's like, nope, I'm gonna be tiny, but I'm gonna have b*** syrup.

Jack: B*** syrup it is.

Cristina: I don't think I'd want that power or see that power. I don't want to see that either. Yeah, yeah. Then there's an Australian fitzro. Australian fitzroe river turtle who could breathe out of its b*******.

Jack: Whoa, wait. Could it breathe out of its mouth too? Does it just have two different breathing areas?

Cristina: I think it has two breathing areas, but the b******* helps it swim. It helps it stay underwater longer because it, like, holds in a bunch of air inside of its b***.

Jack: And what does it do with that air?

Cristina: It just stores it for when it needs it so it can stay underwater longer.

Jack: Right, but that. But that air goes through its b*** to its lungs.

Cristina: Maybe. I guess that's what I'm guessing. Yes, for sure. That's what it does, Nick. Stay underwater up to three weeks without taking a breath of air.

Jack: That's intense.

Cristina: That is. That might be a helpful power, maybe. I don't know.

Jack: In air through your booty.

Cristina: Yes. So you can stay underwater for a very long time.

Jack: Yeah. Imma go chill in the water for the next three weeks.

Cristina: I know. Yeah. I don't know how it would be helpful, but it seems helpful. Okay, sure.

Jack: If you gotta, like, spy on somebody and you gotta be, like, hidden in the water next to them or some s*** the whole time.

Cristina: That is weird.

Jack: Hide in somebody's pool for weeks.

Cristina: Then I would want the combination of this, this, and I guess the last thing with the sperm whale. So you can, like, if someone does find you in that water, you just shoot the vat syrup at them.

Jack: But then you asphyxiate and die.

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: In that instant, the b*** syrup is made out of your oxygen.

Cristina: Oh. So it wouldn't really be b*** syrup anymore.

Jack: It'd be oxygen syrup.

Cristina: It would be, but like a poisonous fart or something.

Jack: Nah, because you still have to be able to survive off of it.

Cristina: Oh, but it wouldn't be syrupy.

Jack: I don't know. Water is syrupy if you do it right, I guess.

Cristina: But oxygen isn't, if that's what you're surviving off of. Oxygen.

Jack: I'm assuming while they're in their water. In the water, their b*** takes in water and pulls out oxygen from it. It's just pulling in literal air. They grab air outside and then go in the water.

Cristina: It might be that. It could be that it sticks his b*** out of the water, sucks in the oxygen, and then jumps in the water. You know what that sounds like? That sounds right. And the manatee actually farts. Held in gas to get deeper in the water. That's. It's superpower.

Jack: How's that a superpower?

Cristina: Because I don't know. It's Super. Because it's. You don't think that's super?

Jack: It feels like swimming.

Cristina: It feels like. But it can go deeper than other swimming creatures, I guess. Other water mammals, I guess that's fine. It helps with food. Less competitors if you can go deeper than the other ones.

Jack: Yeah, but that's not a superpower. That's just like, I got more agility or some s***, I guess.

Cristina: Okay, that's a weak one. Who wins right now? I think the caterpillar wins right now. No, the one that takes out its organs. That creature.

Jack: That kind of sucks.

Cristina: That kind of sucks. Yeah. It is super, though. It's both. Then the dragonfly, when it's a baby. When they're babies, they're underwater nymphs and they use their b*** to swim in the water and also to eat.

Jack: They eat through their b***?

Cristina: No, the air pushing, I guess, out of their b*** helps them move their mouth. Out of their mouth somehow. Tissue. I don't know how it works, but yes, they use their b*** to help them eat.

Jack: So like fart launch forward and grab things quicker. So when you see a dragonfly just like scooting around, it's just sustaining like a long fart.

Cristina: It's not the dragonfly, though. It's the baby form, the nymph. I don't know. Do they look like dragonflies? I don't think so.

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: It sounds like a fairy type of thing, that word. I don't know what that word comes from. Nymph. Have you heard of it?

Jack: I have. I don't know what it is.

Cristina: What was your favorite superpower or super b***, I guess. What was your favorite super b***? You don't care about any of them?

Jack: No, not really. Those are some. No, not really. Those pretty crappy b*** powers.

Cristina: I don't know. The wombat wins for me. Have you seen the largest, or I guess one of the largest butts in the world? It's 8.25ft round and it belongs to an elephant. No, human. A human's b***. I want to show you her booty, if I can. Or I guess her body because it's kind of ridiculous. Her name is Mikael and she's an American and she has one of the biggest booties in the world.

Jack: I mean, it's not really that her booty is particularly big, though. It's like she's really morbidly obese and a lot of that weight is caught in her a**. It's grease, not fat.

Cristina: So it's so what? It's grease.

Jack: Yeah. Oh, it's like, not healthy fat by any means. Her thighs are the size of my body.

Cristina: Whoa. That's so crazy. Is there a Guinness World Record for that? Probably. It's too ridiculous.

Jack: Guinness World Record for everything.

Cristina: Yeah. Even though we're the only animals with butts, the way we have them, our booty cheeks. What other animals do you think have butts compared to us?

Jack: Compared? What do you mean?

Cristina: I guess like, when you imagine animals with big butts, what do you imagine?

Jack: Corgis.

Cristina: Corgis. Is that the famous.

Jack: That's the famous non booty cheek b*** animal.

Cristina: And chickens. Chickens do not have big butts.

Jack: Well, they have butts. Well, they don't really. They have like their a** up in a weird way.

Cristina: The turkey beats the chicken, though.

Jack: Yes. They both have pretty big butts.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: As compared to other birds.

Cristina: Yeah. And like, think like the spider for insects. Or not insects, whatever. Are spider.

Jack: Arachnids.

Cristina: Arachnids. Spiders got big butts.

Jack: Is that the spider's b***?

Cristina: I actually. I have no idea. That's probably its body.

Jack: That's probably.

Cristina: But I consider it its b***. Yes.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: With like, the snake doesn't have any. But.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Or dolphins or any fish in general. In general. So. But you know what? I think the biggest lover of butts besides, I guess humans and baboons are dogs. Dogs love butts. They don't love big butts, but they sure love butts.

Jack: They don't love butts. It's just how they communicate.

Cristina: Yeah, it is. They love smelling. They still love sniffing butts. I mean. No, it is communication.

Jack: I don't think it's like, do you go to your 9 to 5 and then love talking to your boss? No, you gotta communicate. You don't love talking to your boss. Yeah, you gotta communicate.

Cristina: Yeah. So this is just them communicating with each other.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah. You know, they could smell the mood of the other dog.

Jack: That's interesting. I didn't know that.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, their nose is a superpower.

Jack: Yeah. Dog's nose is some crazy s***. So is their hearing. A dog is kind of a superhero.

Cristina: And the hear. And their hearings. Yeah. And they're hearing. Yes, they could. They can smell some strange things, though. Like they can smell bugs. Like, if you had termites and they knew how to smell what that. That smell like? If they were trained to sniff out termites, they could point it to you. So they're so helpful. And they can smell even things that you wouldn't imagine that they could, like die. Diabetic attacks, cancer and Seizure. You didn't think a dog would be able to sense those things? I don't know if it's smell related, but I think it's part smell related, part visual of like seeing what you're going through.

Jack: Smelling a seizure sounds crazy to me.

Cristina: That does. Those three things sound crazy to me.

Jack: Cancer, diabetes is a sugar shift. Sugar is potent.

Cristina: Mmm. So there's obviously something they can smell from that.

Jack: Cancer is rotten.

Cristina: Oh, the seizure.

Jack: How do you smell a seizure?

Cristina: It could be that they can see the difference of your body changing because that causes you to your reaction to change. Like what's happening to you. Your whole body is just yeah, yeah, yeah. Which might not. Someone might not notice that quickly, but maybe dogs could sense it quicker. I also learned two very interesting stories about b*** mythologies or b*** related folklore. And they're both Japanese stories and they're amazing. And the first one is there's this creature called Shurimi, which is. Which just translates to b*** eye.

Jack: B*** eye?

Cristina: Yeah, Buttock's eye. Can you imagine what this creature looks like?

Jack: It's an eye in somebody's b***.

Cristina: Exactly. Yes. This yokai has. I think he has no face, but for some reason he does have an eye in his b*******. And he likes to scare people with his eye b***. He stalks people. They're like what's go like they'll call you out in night to. So you turn around to look at them and then they'll flash you their b*** eye. With their b*** eye. With their shiny b*** eye. I don't think they're evil or anything. They're just want to show off their b***. Aye. To you.

Jack: Like all these women who are the problem, they want to show off their b***.

Cristina: The flat butts.

Jack: The flat butts who are pretending to be plump butts.

Cristina: Yes. There's nothing evil about that.

Jack: About sh. Yeah, there is. If the reason that the world is in turmoil is because of fake booties. That's why they freak. The ones who freaked out at Kendrick Lamar when he said that line. I'm so sick and tired of the Photoshop.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Wait, they're mad that he said he's tired of Photoshop?

Jack: Well, no, he says like he wants something natural.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: And it's like, yeah, because non natural is making people stupid.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: People being born dumb because flat booties are allowed to have children. We need to get all China on this s***. If you're flat booty, you're not allowed.

Cristina: You have to tell China that.

Jack: No, we got to get China on board. I mean China's gonna listen anyways, because this lies. Is it gonna. You know, let's conclude this. Now that we know, we're gonna tell the president.

Cristina: The president's not gonna make the world do this.

Jack: He can pass laws that the world listens to.

Cristina: No, the world does not listen to him.

Jack: Yeah. Especially Russia and China.

Cristina: To this president.

Jack: Yeah. To Biden.

Cristina: To Biden.

Jack: To Biden.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They're gonna listen to Biden.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And they're gonna sign another. Another. I'm gonna convince him, and he's gonna sign one that stops all the flat booties from mating.

Cristina: From mating?

Jack: Yeah. We gotta tie their tubes against her will.

Cristina: What? No.

Jack: Gonna open these camps in these camps.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. I thought you were just gonna kick the Spanish people out.

Jack: Yeah, and then we gotta clean it.

Cristina: Okay, so you're not making new camps. You're just using the ones that you have.

Jack: Yeah. We gotta prepare it for the flat booties.

Cristina: Yeah, because the Spanish people will most likely have booties.

Jack: Yes. We need to release them back into society because Hispanic a** is fine.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It's flat booties that are.

Cristina: It's a crime.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Flat b*** is a crime.

Jack: Flat b*** is a crime.

Cristina: You heard it here. That would be so crazy. I would like you to convince him of that. Or I guess him convince the world of that. I don't know.

Jack: Both.

Cristina: Both. It's very strange. Then there's this creature called the kappa. You've probably seen him before. He's like a green toad looking creature in Japan. He's like. He's human like, and green, though. Kind of alien like, I guess. But he looks kind of like a turtle. Y. Human, I guess. Sounds familiar. No.

Jack: Is that tur. Is it. That is a turtle. I was thinking frog.

Cristina: Oh, yes. It could be frog. I could be wrong. It's one of those things. It's green. It's from Japan.

Jack: Because I'm thinking that frog from the cereal box.

Cristina: The cereal box.

Jack: There's like a weird golden cereal that tastes like cardboard.

Cristina: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jack: Yeah, it's like little beans. The co. The. It looks like coffee. Beans.

Cristina: Beans. Coffee. There.

Jack: Oh, that's a f****** Pokemon.

Cristina: That's a Pokemon. It's gonna be a Pokemon if it's not a Pokemon.

Jack: No, no, no. It definitely 100% is a Pokemon.

Cristina: Oh, that's the one you were talking about, right?

Jack: Right.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, crap. I didn't get its name. Well, yes, there's a Pokemon that looks like Kappa and it is a Kappa. It is a Kappa. Well, there's this thing inside our butts called shirikodama. It's like a magical ball that we all have inside our butts.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: And these kappas want that.

Jack: So they're gonna stick their fingers in your b*** to get it.

Cristina: Yes. Pretty much killing you, probably. Most likely. Or they'll drown you and then take it fun. Yes. Yes.

Jack: So you're gonna get drowned and then.

Cristina: They'Ll take your magic b***.

Jack: They're gonna. Their fingers in your a**.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And search for magic ball.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Got it.

Cristina: And they're not sure what that magic ball is, but it might be related to our soul. Like, it could be our soul in there.

Jack: Our soul is in our b***?

Cristina: It could be. Yes. Or it could be our liver. I don't know if that's in there, but that's strange.

Jack: So they're fishing for our soul through our b***. Fantastic.

Cristina: We have a soul in a ball that's in our b***. Yes. That's pretty awesome.

Jack: The b*** soul.

Cristina: The b*** sole. Yep. I mean, where else would the soul be, do you know?

Jack: In your chest, I guess.

Cristina: That's where you think it's in?

Jack: Yeah, I think the consciousness is in the head and the soul is somewhere in the chest area.

Cristina: Where do you get that? Where does anyone get that?

Jack: Seems right.

Cristina: It just seems right. What was the first one? The conscious.

Jack: Yeah. Conscious mind or the mind. The consciousness or the mind? If they're not the same thing, they're in the same place, at least.

Cristina: I don't know how we can prove where the conscious is either.

Jack: No, we can't.

Cristina: But you're saying if I.

Jack: If I had to guess where it is.

Cristina: On the head.

Jack: It's in the head. And if I have to guess where the soul is? Probably in your chest somewhere.

Cristina: Just trying to think about what keeps your heart pumping. The heart itself.

Jack: Something that's keeping the heart pumping. I'll call that the soul.

Cristina: Okay, so the thing that's keeping the heart pumping is the soul. Maybe. Maybe. Yes.

Jack: The brain needs the blood of the heart, so the brain ain't keeping the heart up. You have somebody brain dead whose heart works.

Cristina: So then. But then how about consciousness? Where do you get that idea?

Jack: I don't know. I'm just saying that that's in the head. But I know that the heart has to be kept up by something other than the body, other than the mind. That thing that we can't identify. That's what's doing it.

Cristina: Interesting, huh? Then maybe the consciousness is in our b***. Maybe that ball, the magical ball. Is actually our conscious. How could we prove that wrong?

Jack: Maybe that magical ball is our genetic code.

Cristina: Our genetic code?

Jack: Like a perfect blueprint to making another human or something.

Cristina: Why would they want that?

Jack: To make another human or something.

Cristina: Oh, then maybe they're aliens. They look aliens. They're little green men.

Jack: That seems legit. I mean, don't little green men already probe a****?

Cristina: Exactly. This is a water alien.

Jack: This a water alien Sticking crap in your a**, trying to pull something out. They're looking for the secret to life, and it's in your a**.

Cristina: It's in your a**. Yes. Yes.

Jack: Whoa, whoa. The secret to life is in our a*******?

Cristina: Maybe if we have bigger butts, though, we can protect that.

Jack: God's a genius. Right? Because it's like the last place they're gonna look inside their a******.

Cristina: Yeah. How did these creatures figure it out?

Jack: Magic. Well, no, they're aliens. They probably. They probably went through this whole process themselves. Yeah, they know it's in their a******. Yeah, they're like. It's always in the a******.

Cristina: That's amazing. But they don't really know why they want it. There's like, two guesses. One is they like to eat those balls, those magic balls.

Jack: So they eat souls?

Cristina: Yeah. Or it's some kind of tax to the dragon King who lives under the sea, and they're paying him.

Jack: I don't care about anything else anymore. There's a dragon king that lives under the f****** sea?

Cristina: Yes. I don't know anything about him, but I'll learn about him.

Jack: Is it Nessie?

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. What?

Jack: A dragon that lives under the f****** sea? I guess it's not Nessie, because she lives in a lake. But, like, there's a f****** dragon that lives under the sea. The Dragon King.

Cristina: The dragon king are dragons, Water creatures? I guess. I don't know. No, they're like lizards, maybe. Well, the Chinese dragon that we were talking about has to be a water dragon, right? Because the fish is in the water. The fish isn't turning into a sky thing.

Jack: Yeah, that's a western dragon, but it's a water dragon.

Cristina: Right.

Jack: The ones that are in the. The Chinese and Japanese dragons are water dragons, not water dragons, but they're like snake things. Like, unless it's flying without wings, I'm assuming they. That those things exist in the water.

Cristina: Yeah. So maybe. Yeah. So then the dragon king would be a water dragon king. Interesting.

Jack: Gyarados is water dragon. That's a Pokemon.

Cristina: Yeah, he's a magical dragon king. Maybe he is the dragon King.

Jack: He's the Dragon King.

Cristina: You think there's magic balls in Pokemon? That's horrifying. There's Kappa. Yes. I mean, the Soul Ball. Unless you think those are souls, they're just playing with other creatures. Souls?

Jack: Like, I mean, isn't Electrode and Voltorb both just pokeballs that are alive?

Cristina: Yes. There's something wrong there. I don't know. They live in a world that. What's his name from Blue's Clue. Not Blue's Clues. That's the wrong guy. That old show, Peewee Playhouse. Remember his house? It's all alive, right? He lives in the Pokemon world.

Jack: Yeah, kind of. He's just trapped in his house or hiding from the rest of the world, where everything is violent and murdering each other.

Cristina: Yeah, but his house is alive.

Jack: Dude, that's crazy.

Cristina: Pokemon.

Jack: A single Pokemon, you take over the world.

Cristina: Yeah, one.

Jack: You got one Pokemon. There's no other Pokemon.

Cristina: You take over the world even like a Diglett?

Jack: The Diglett is crazy. You could topple buildings with a Diglett. With a Diglett.

Jack: They're too overpowered, bro. Pokemon. Like, really?

Cristina: There's no useless Pokemon. What about Rattata?

Jack: Nah, it's.

Cristina: It's.

Jack: The problem is it has the ability to do random s***. Like one, lightning fast. Two, it can attack people. It's your weapon.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: I guess somebody could pull up that with a gun, though. Just pop your Rattata in the face.

Cristina: Oh, hey.

Jack: It is what it is.

Cristina: Well, if it's super quick, though, maybe you can stop that Again, it depends.

Jack: How quick it is.

Cristina: But it has a quick attack type thing.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It has both agility and quick attack. It depends how quick it is. Like, is it so quick that. Boom. It's at your gun.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This fire.

Cristina: Right? Your hand that's holding the gun.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's crazy, man.

Cristina: If it's that quick, then that's. Then there's nothing.

Jack: There's nothing stopping them. But there's also, like, if you somehow caught, like, Ash. Ash is so overpowered. If you really wanted to, because he somehow comes across every God.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You can just capture a m*********** and that's it. It's a wrap. He runs the world.

Cristina: He'll never catch one.

Jack: Also, why does Team Rocket want his s***** a**? Pikachu. That's the worst. Pikachu.

Cristina: It's because they're not really villains, dude.

Jack: He gets KO'd by level one Pokemon.

Cristina: Yes. They're not villains. They don't want to be doing evil things. They're just Pretending by chasing a Pikachu, they're just friend. Yes.

Jack: There's Frenemy.

Cristina: They're stalking him. But also they can lie to their boss like, yeah, we're doing something.

Jack: Doing things.

Cristina: Yeah. But obviously they're not. They're trying to catch a. Talking. Like, no, they're trying to catch a rat. A giant rat.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Like, who cares? That's such a lame Pokemon.

Jack: Yeah. Pikachu sucks. F****** Dragon King. Are you kidding me?

Cristina: Yes. That is pretty epic. You know what else is pretty epic?

Jack: What?

Cristina: Researchers painted eyes on cow butts to stop lions from attacking. And it worked.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Yep. No cows were attacked. The ones that didn't have eyes painted on them, I think, like, two of them died in that group. But the ones that did, none of them died.

Jack: Interesting. So the lions were, like, too confused about what creature they were looking at.

Cristina: Yeah. Like. Yeah. Because they like to sneak attack. And since this creature, this new creature to them is looking at them, never blinking, just decided, nope, can't do this.

Jack: Interesting. Yeah. It's horrifying because it looks like it's always looking at you.

Cristina: Yeah. Which for something that likes to surprise, there's nothing it could do.

Jack: Yeah. For a cat, the worst thing you could do is always watch it. It thinks it's being hunted.

Cristina: Yeah. So that's pretty amazing.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So we talked about. So we talked about pros of the booty, but there are some bad stuff that could happen to your booty. I don't know if it's naturally or it's just, like, bad luck or you did something wrong and it caused your booty to attack you. But there's things like hemorrhoids, which is one of the most painful a*** diseases out there, which is like veins of blood around your a***. These veins of blood on your b*** that engorges around your booty. Hoe. That sucks.

Jack: Yep. Sounds painful.

Cristina: It does. There's also a*** fissures. That's the tearing of tissue along the a*** canal, which is caused by giant poops.

Jack: A*** fissures are caused by giant poops?

Cristina: Yes. Like, they're too big. They come out and they hurt your skin around.

Jack: Like Bono.

Cristina: Like Bono Bono?

Jack: Yeah. The Pope had Bono.

Cristina: Yeah. He probably caused him to have some problems in that area.

Jack: Many, many.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: He had Bono.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The Pope pooped Bono.

Cristina: There's also a*** warts and itchy a***. That are problems that could happen to you.

Jack: How do they happen?

Cristina: I think a*** warts is. I don't know. It's a viral disorder. I don't know. I don't know how they can happen, but I know the symptoms. The warts are tiny spots inside the a*** opening. They also itchy and they can grow over time.

Jack: Very weird information. We definitely need to get the president to sign that bill to. To get rid of tiny butted people.

Cristina: To get rid of tiny butted, flat butted, flat butts.

Jack: The flat butts need to go. We got. We got to get all the Hispanics out of the camps and into society. We got to reintegrate them so that their butts can create the next generation of intellect. And we got to put the dumb flat butts into the camps and fake butts into the camps so that they stop mating. We got to stop this problem that's happening in society today.

Cristina: But that's only for the women. There has to be something that women are attracted to men in some weird way like this, right? Because there should be some men in those jails too, just for some equal fun. Because then there's gonna be too much men out there.

Jack: No, the problem is that men also have butts. Right? And so we're assuming that their j*** is infused with intelligence because big butts.

Cristina: Wow. Okay.

Jack: This needs to be. Only people with big butts need to be allowed to man.

Cristina: Okay? So for all of them.

Jack: For all of them. Men and women, dude, they can make stupid children in the camps that we don't introduce into society.

Cristina: Okay? What?

Jack: But if you're gonna be in society, we forcefully tie your tubes or you go to a camp. One or the other. That's it. You don't have a choice.

Cristina: You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. That's crazy.

Jack: You opt into tubes being tied or a camp.

Cristina: We'll have that special ruler to measure your curve b*** growth. Yeah. Your curve ratio.

Jack: Everybody will have it. We'll have like in the last of us, where there's a guy walking up to people with a thermometer. Like, there's gonna be cops outside just checking. Like, that doesn't look like a Right. And that doesn't look like a 45 degree angle. Plump booty. Yeah, get the ruler. Then they check you. They stop you. They're like, we got to check your booty. People freak out. No, no, don't check my daughter. She's too young. She's just a child.

Cristina: Should there be an age for this?

Jack: No, because these people are gonna grow up anyways. We got to stop the problem as young as we can. If we can do something to feed them the Proper foods to make their booties grow.

Cristina: But what age do we start measuring? We can't be measuring babies.

Jack: We can't be measuring babies. No, no, no, no. Anybody you gave Burger King to, That's over developed because they had too many hormones in the food. And they're like a 35 year old looking 12 year old at that age.

Cristina: Because they're still maturing. So it should be when they stop maturing, which is in the 20s.

Jack: D***. That's problematic though, because we could have corrected the issue, but we don't know.

Cristina: If there's an issue or not.

Jack: Yes, because they might have too flat of a booty.

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Tell me. Growth spurts, essentially.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Take it to account. A growth spurt.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Height wise. Females stop growing around 16 years of age.

Cristina: So we gotta start measuring them at 16.

Jack: I guess like their body stops fully developing around that time. You know what you're gonna look like as a female at 16, while a male usually grows until they're about 24.

Cristina: That's a problem.

Jack: Yeah. While intellectually men seem to stop mentally developing at a fast pace at around 18 to 19, while women up to 26 years of age.

Cristina: Whoa. What? Why so different?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: It's crazy. 26 years of age?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So then what's the right age to measure these butts though?

Jack: When you introduce fake hormones into their body, Lacavia?

Cristina: Any age.

Jack: Fair enough. When the hormones start affecting their body.

Cristina: So when it starts.

Jack: Yeah, I guess. Teenage years and older. We need cops out there the way these cops are out here popping kids anyways. Just because it looked like he had a gun. Even if it was pink, it was abnormally small. It was shooting water. We shot him anyways because we felt in danger. Get those same very dedicated cops to run up to young women with rulers and measure their b*** angle.

Cristina: We need some kind of thing that will stop kids from reproducing though, as kids.

Jack: Fair enough. That means immediately you put an implant when these kids are born into their skin of a thing that's gonna casually drop a sterilant into their body, preventing them from having children. Until you decide. And then you don't have to test anything. You wait until in this society everybody has to go to the doctor so the doctor can tell them whether they can mate or not.

Cristina: Yes. And if you fail, you die. No, you go to camp.

Jack: Well, now you can't have kids anyways, because now we've done it since you're young.

Cristina: Oh, okay. So no camps.

Jack: No camps.

Cristina: Okay. Now you just can't have Kids. Yeah.

Jack: The doctor has to clear you. Your buddy is. Your booty's plump enough to have kids.

Cristina: Okay. There you go. Okay. I guess that works.

Jack: Boot's plump enough to have kids. Yes, that's the solution. We're gonna get Biden to sign that into the world contract.

Cristina: Do we even have that type of technology, though, to stop people and then give them the ability to afterwards, when.

Jack: We decide it's right, kidnap a billionaire's child and threaten their life? And they're going to suddenly come up with a solution? Okay, yes, 100% they'll come up with it. Like, if the. Actually, no, you got to threaten the billionaire. They're by. F*** it. It's just a kid. I can make another one.

Cristina: Oh, my God.

Jack: You got to, like, scare the billionaires, and then they'll do it. Yes, because they don't care.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Once you give them the fear, all the money to make this happen will happen overnight. They'll have it tomorrow.

Cristina: Mm, that sounds like a great plan.

Jack: Anyways, this is we're gonna do. We're gonna get Biden to sign that into law. The world is gonna listen to it, of course, and it is what it is. Now, if you guys want to learn more about butts, we literally don't have a single other episode about butts. But now you know about butts, and you know about powers and creatures, and along those lines, you could find out about powers and creatures in many of our episodes.

Cristina: Yeah, we have different episodes with different powers and different creatures, and some with probably powers and creatures involved. I'm not sure. There's probably combinations.

Jack: It's like the Chupacabra and crap like that.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Powerful creatures.

Cristina: Do you think the Chupacabra has a b***?

Jack: Like, maybe not maybe. I don't know. There was that Chupacabra running next to the guy's car and look like a dog. So it has about, like, a dog's.

Cristina: Booty, which isn't that much.

Jack: Which isn't that much.

Cristina: Unless it's a corgi Chupacabra.

Jack: Yes, A corgi cobra. Anyways, if you guys want to find more stuff of that nature, you can find all of that stuff on the official website, greythoughts.info on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And also remember to subscribe. That's always great. And you can rate the show. That's always great. But you can also leave a Review. That's extra, extra great. Although subscribing is better.

Cristina: Yes. And let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yeah. Word of mouth, the most overpowered thing in the face of the earth. Always ask with the kindness of your heart.

Cristina: Yes. After complimenting your booties. Yes.

Jack: Compliment their booties.

Cristina: Yes. Compliment. And then say, listen to this.

Jack: Yeah. You tell them, look, we need to mate because I got a sweet booty. You got a sweet booty. And here's an episode of a show that's going to teach you why we need to mate.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because our booties are sweet.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And after they listen, gonna be like, yeah, I guess if we're gonna have a smart kid, it better be both of us that have nice booties.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I gotta take the chance that my kid isn't stupid.

Cristina: Yes. It's proved by science. Proved by science. Yep. This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: I guess. Yeah.

Cristina: Because you're like, oh, I need to share this with the world.

Jack: But what about people who transcribe for a job? They can't possibly like the things they transcribe. No, that's just like, how much does medical transcription suck?

Cristina: That has to scrap. That must be the worst.

Jack: Yeah. No, I think it's worse to be in court. Or you're transcribing random documents that everybody's saying, and it's like mundane, boring garbage you've heard day after day after day after day, but you're just there to record any nuanced difference.

Cristina: Every once in a while, there must be something exciting in the court.

Jack: You can't really pay attention.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: Because you got to catch every word. You're not allowed to process any of them.

Cristina: Oh, yeah, that's. That's really strange. That's a strange job. Yeah. Because you're doing it right live.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: There's no slip up there. You gotta.

Jack: I guess that's different than transcribing.

Cristina: More stressful.

Jack: Yeah, that's. That's very different than transcribing something you've heard a million times or not.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Not heard a million times. Something you've this pre recorded and you could rewind and stuff.

Cristina: Yeah. So maybe it's exciting, that type of way where you're like, I got to do this right.

Jack: Yeah. You're trying to be perfect. You can't f*** up.

Cristina: Yeah. So exciting. To some horrifying for other people. Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 104: Weather Prediction Folklore

Time and Weather, Podcast, THe Just Conversation Podcast, Zero Lupo, Art, Black and White art, Nature, Air Bender, Rain Dance, Animal Prediction, Weather Prediction, Science, Research, Comedy, Discussion, Theory, Groundhog Day,

Is predicting the weather possible? What can we learn from animals and nature to do so? Answers to that and more on this episode of Just Conversation.

Story:
Because the Earth has experienced a record number of Typhoons and Hurricanes, the duo decides to learn what methods are useful to predict the weather in order to anticipate worse incoming natural disasters. With their plans to be prepared ahead of time, they deep dive into weather prediction, but what they might have to do to predict the weather not only is unexpected and confusing, but opens doors they didn’t expect to have to open.

Rambling 104: Weather Prediction Folklore

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcast!

Art by @Zero_Lupo on Instagram

Topics Discussed

  • Weather Predicting Breasts
  • Scar Tissue
  • Weather Proverbs
  • Groundhog Day
  • Squirrel Nuts
  • Animal Weather Detecting Abilities
  • Weather to Predict Harvest
  • Merchant Ships
  • Storm Prediction
  • Dead Crew

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod

Rambling 97: The Nature of Evil

The Just Conversation Podcast, Evil, Scary, Corrupt, Demon, Ghost, Crime

What is evil? Have we ever witnessed it first hand? Could we find an example if we tried? Unpacking the nature of evil on this episode of Just Conversation.

Story:
Tired of the left/right swing of social politics consuming the world and blind comments by misguided and uninformed people panicked on social media because of news outlets and political points of view, the clone duo decide to deep dive on the nature of evil and find out if they could find proof of its existence or if the concept was entire made up.

Rambling 97: The Nature of Evil

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

  • Defining Evil
  • Was Hitler Evil?
  • Is Thanos Evil?
  • Is Evil Possible?
  • Is Murder Inherently Evil?
  • Are Pedophiles Evil?
  • Evil Evolves
  • Evil Discovered
  • Examples of Evil
  • Can Nature Breed Evil?
  • Does Motivation Dictate Evil?
  • Is Jehovah Evil?
  • Plato’s Theory of Forms
  • Is Pure Good Possible?

l

None of This is Real Podcast

(Promo at the Start of the show)

Find them on:

Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/none-of-this-is-real/id1439588586

Instagram - @noneofthisisrealpodcast

l

Our Links

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod

Rambling 96: Real Zombies

The Just Conversation Podcast, Zombie Apocalypse, Science, Research, Real Zombies, Ingestigation, Theory, Data, Information

Did you know that zombies are real? Nature has been making them for millions of years through insects and other creatures. Discussing the real zombies of nature on this episode of JCP.

Story:
The duo decide to delve once more into the realm of zombies and the undead to unpack what it means to be a zombie and where the line is drawn between a zombie and being undead!

Rambling 96: Real Zombies

+Episode Details

Remember to leaves us a rating wherever you listen to podcasts!

Topics Discussed

  • Zombie Aliens
  • The Definition of Life
  • Are Viruses Alive?
  • Spores
  • The Last of Us
  • Undead vs Zombie
  • Frankenstein
  • The Walking Dead
  • Zombie Dog Experiment
  • What is Life?
  • Are the Undead Conscious?
  • Parasites
  • Zombie Plants

Our Links

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod

Rambling 38: Base Reality

Reality, Fiction, Metaphysics, Consciousness, The Just Conversation Podcast, Thought Experiement

The thinkers ramble about what constitutes nature and what Base Reality must be. With a microscope and telescope they study the structure of Infinity’. A vortex is opened in order to understand the physical shape of ‘Nothingness’. The philosophers create God using the power of Reality and then alter his degree of consciousness. Perception without senses becomes possible, but translating what is perceived proves challenging. The mayor of Flow State is brought in to get Runners High with the duo. And Writing Tricks!

Rambling 38: Base Reality
The Rambling Podcast

+ Episode Details

Topics Discussed

  • The Nature of Reality
  • Raw Information
  • Realities Dominated by Nothingness
  • God Existing Within Reality
  • Consciousness by Degree
  • Perception Without Sense
  • Thinking Without Senses
  • Flow State
  • Runner’s High
  • Writing Tricks