Rambling 133: The Reason for Butts

Why do we love big butts? Why is it something we can’t lie about? What is the purpose of butts to begin with? And how do we solve the little but problem? The origin and evolution of butts discussed in this episode of Just Conversation!

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

• Baboon Butts
• Mating Rituals
• Humps
• Psychological Geometry
• Smart Butts
• Wombat Armored Butt
• Butt Syrup
• Turtle Butt Air
• Magical Soul Butt Ball
• Ass Diving Little Green Men
• The Dragon King
• Team Rocket

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram - https://instagram.com/justconvopod

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+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: Yes. And also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner, so be sure to grab somebody and force them to listen with you. It's an obligation. The government made it law. The president passed that law to force.

Cristina: People to listen to it.

Jack: To force people to listen to. Yeah, this happened a couple of days ago. The President put a bill that went straight to the Senate and House of Congress, and the judges also ruled on it. And.

Cristina: And it's only law here in this country. It's not the world.

Jack: It's in the world. The President made a law that the world has to follow.

Cristina: How does that work?

Jack: It just works.

Cristina: I don't think.

Jack: So he went ahead and he sat down and grabbed this pen and he scribbled. He scribbled on this piece of paper. He's like, they will listen. They will listen.

Cristina: And they did listen.

Jack: Well, no, he passed the bill. And then from that day forward, everybody has to sit their a** down and listen.

Cristina: I don't know why the world has to listen to.

Jack: The world has to listen to him.

Cristina: That makes no sense.

Jack: Because nukes.

Cristina: Because nukes.

Jack: Because nukes. War happens. If you don't listen to the Just Conversation podcast, if you don't make somebody listen to the Just Conversation, it's more important.

Cristina: It's not about listening. It's about making someone listen.

Jack: Yeah, you gotta find people, sit them down and make them listen.

Cristina: Why? Okay. Yes. Okay. So you're listening now. Are you listening? Okay, good, good.

Jack: Yeah. If they can hear this, it's because they sat their a**** down and they're listening.

Cristina: Okay, people, I need you guys to use your imagination while I ask you something. What animals have big butts?

Jack: What animals have big butts?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Baboons.

Cristina: Baboons. Rampoons do have big butts. Why do you think they have such big butts for?

Jack: I don't know. Because they don't really sit on their butts as often as you'd think.

Cristina: It's gotta be a mating thing.

Jack: You think they use it to. It's like the bird's feathers.

Cristina: The bigger and redder the butts, the more attractive it looks.

Jack: That's what it is.

Cristina: Yes. It's like a competition.

Jack: Who has the biggest, reddest b***.

Cristina: Yes. And then they get the mate. I mean, whoever, I guess. I don't know how they compete in this contest. It's not like a human contest type of thing. Who knows? Maybe they offer walk in front of the guy, show the b*** or whatever. Dance with her b*** sticking out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jack: The chick is the one competing here?

Cristina: Yes, it's the chick competing. Whoa.

Jack: It's usually the guy.

Cristina: Yep. But.

Jack: So butts are, like, universally a guy thing?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Whoa. Interesting.

Cristina: That is so weird. But yes.

Jack: Or is it just a primate thing?

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: It's like apes.

Cristina: Like apes. I don't know if apes like. But I know human men like butts.

Jack: You just mentioned an ape that likes butts.

Cristina: Except. Oh, yeah, I guess that ape. But that's a specific type. I don't know if all apes.

Jack: Yeah. Because most apes don't have butts.

Cristina: Yeah. They weren't made like that. I don't know.

Jack: But if they did have butts, the men would be the one who liked those butts.

Cristina: Yes. Is that weird?

Jack: That's pretty strange, considering in every other thing ever that's ever happened in all of history and time, it's the female who gets to choose, not the male.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: It's really just a monkey thing. We're just like, no, we, the man, we pick. What the f***?

Cristina: So you get it from your monkey brothers back then when we chose by butts?

Jack: Yeah, I guess. I guess that makes an argument for coming from baboons.

Cristina: Yeah. You think we come from baboons? I don't come from baboons. Yeah.

Jack: I think we come from chimpanzees, actually. I'm not entirely sure.

Cristina: Maybe if they care about butts. Their butts are different, though, from our butts.

Jack: They don't got butts.

Cristina: They don't have butts.

Jack: Chimpanzees don't have butts.

Cristina: Well, primates. Their butts, though, are different from our butts.

Jack: But boon. Butts are different from our butts. I guess it would be the closest to our butts. Yeah, but like you're talking about, the area where their a****** is located is very different.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Yes, yes, yes.

Cristina: Is that weird? I don't know, because. I guess it's because we're using our butts differently. Our legs, our bottom part of our body is used differently. Like they're using theirs to climb things.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Well, we're. We have this b*** to help us somehow run.

Jack: The b*** helps us run.

Cristina: Yes. And sit of course.

Jack: Well, it helps us sit. How does it help us run?

Cristina: I don't know. Somehow the design of the b*** is helping us walk and run the way we do. Which it doesn't help with primates, the way, like, they don't run like we run.

Jack: So to get this straight, we started walking. Those of us that began to walk up straight and that became our advantage over the other creatures.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That couldn't see so far over the grass. Those just developed butts. Like, they got booty cheeks.

Cristina: Who has booty cheeks?

Jack: All this. All the primates began standing to see.

Cristina: Farther through the grass. Yeah.

Jack: That's why they survived longer. They can come down from the trees and see a predator further away.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because they can look over the grass while others struggle to do that for longer. In fact, we can just keep walking standing upright while the other apes couldn't do that. And so we could see some, like, creature in a distance.

Cristina: Yeah. So those develop butts. Yeah. And we're part of those.

Jack: Yeah. But so just, just being, just doing that gave us a**** like.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like plump booties.

Cristina: Yes. Well, there's theories of why men are attracted to butts. So it might be a thing like you evolved in us to have a nicer looking b***.

Jack: Evolutionary purposes.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You gotta be able to meet more.

Cristina: Yes. No. Is that. Yeah. But butts. But it's more than just the b*** that men are attractive to, oddly enough. It's the curve of the b***. Of the b***. Yes. The back b*** thing. It has to be a specific 45.5 degrees. That's the magic number.

Jack: Yeah. Because it can't be 90 degrees. It's too much. It has to be like a particular slant. And that also applies not just to the b*** cheeks from behind, looking at it from the side, but the hips that form the b*** cheek as well from the front and the back, which gives the hourglass shape. It's that general region.

Cristina: Do you know why, though? Like, why that specific. Why such a specific degree?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: That's so weird.

Jack: I guess it's the optimal shape. It's as hourglassy as it gets. Any more and you start losing hourglass shape. Any less and you start losing hourglass shape. It's about 45 degrees.

Cristina: Yeah. They like when they were testing out how. What about big butts, Men, like, they tried different things besides the curve because they thought that was weird. It was a curve. The excess fat or excess muscle. Those three different options.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: And the curve would win. So it's really about that curve yeah, yeah.

Jack: We want meaty a**.

Cristina: And they think it allows. They think men. That curve helps women to walk around and easily when they're pregnant and stuff. So they can find food and things. So they think evolutionary. It was just a benefit for the lady. That's why guys find it attractive.

Jack: How do they find food? Because of their b***.

Cristina: Like, they could walk around without injuring their back or anything. It's not a pain to be when they're pregnant to do things that they would normally do when they're not pregnant.

Jack: Why would their back hurt less? Because they have a b***?

Cristina: Because of the curve. The curve is the thing we're talking about. Like, it's part of the b***, but it's the curve that's connecting to the b*** is helping the pain. Not pain, but the back.

Jack: I guess it's sort of diffusing the center force. It's bringing it more towards the center by having something extra sticking in that direction. While you have something sticking in that direction.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Now you're more centered, and then you.

Cristina: Can do more things, and therefore you're more helpful.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: So that's interesting. Yeah. The degree. Who cares? I mean, I guess we can.

Jack: Everything is math. Everything is math.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Why do people like pizza?

Cristina: Why do people like pizza?

Jack: It's a circle cut into triangles that you put in a box.

Cristina: But then wouldn't all foods be something like that? Are they all like that?

Jack: No. They either taste good or something like pizza that, when you really break it apart, doesn't really. And it also looks kind of like vomit.

Cristina: I feel like hot dogs aren't the greatest looking or the greatest tasting, but people still eat that cylindrical. The shape of it.

Jack: Yeah. It's like a perfect cylinder. That's why when math goes into something, the taste and look of it goes out the window.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Now, if it tastes good, it doesn't matter what it looks like. And it doesn't matter if it's in a specific shape.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But if it isn't tasting good and it doesn't look good, then it's the shape that's doing it.

Cristina: The shape.

Jack: In the case of pizza, the cheese itself isn't like the people think it's the cheese. People like cheese.

Cristina: But she's not great.

Jack: It's not doing enough.

Cristina: It's not doing enough.

Jack: In fact, you can find out that the favored pizzas in the world are all where the slice itself is the most triangular, really. If the slice is too long.

Cristina: But there are weirdos that like the square pizza.

Jack: Yeah. And that's why Those aren't that popular. Think about it.

Cristina: Ah, they're not that popular.

Jack: No. Because it's a box inside of a box. Who cares?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Well, you can locate all of these problems. The more that the more triangular it is, the more people like it.

Cristina: That's a sexy pizza.

Jack: Sexy pizza.

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: And the more solid the triangle, the better as well. So like, people definitely enjoy holding a domino slice, which is shorter and way more triangular.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Than like a Pizza Hut really long one that like bends towards the tip because it's so like it's not solid. Even if out of all of them, obviously Papa John's is the healthy alternative. It tastes better.

Cristina: It tastes better.

Jack: But Papa John's doesn't have that perfect domino's shape. Yeah, domino's is made of garbage. It's just all poison that they're putting into there. Not to say Papa John's isn't. But out of all the options, Papa John's is the closest to healthy you can possibly get. Not that it's healthy, but you know.

Cristina: What if you made it at home?

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Wouldn't that taste better or it wouldn't because you wouldn't be able to make it as perfect as the domino one.

Jack: Well, it's not the taste, it's the shape. No matter what that's pleasing you.

Cristina: The shape of it.

Jack: Yeah. You're convinced if it could taste like crap, you're convinced it tastes good because the shape.

Cristina: Oh, okay. What? Oh. And. And another reason men love big butts or women with big butts is that women with big butts are smarter and have smarter children. Something to do with the fatty stuff that's in there? I don't know. There's some magic stuff thing in the b*** that helps makes more kids. There's a unique fatty acid that's inside the woman's beauty that's stored in the fat of the b*** that is important to the baby's development. Brain for the baby's brain.

Jack: So bigger b***, smarter kid.

Cristina: Yes. There you go. That's your reason to start hunting for big butts. It's not about the curve. Although you could explain it as the curve, but like that makes you look crazy. If you went to people like, I need 40 set 45.5% degree curve. Before I'm with you have to like check it with a, I guess a ruler or something. I'm not sure how people are checking this out.

Jack: It was sort of be like a ruler. It's a two sided ruler.

Cristina: A two sided ruler? Yeah.

Jack: You know where you know those rulers that you use? Not a ruler, but that thing you use, like when you want to draw a perfect circle, you like put the pencil in the thing and you lock it and it has a pointy end and you put that and you spin it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: There's a ruler that has that shape and basically as you open it, all it does is tell you how much degrees open it is.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Then you put that next to your a** and you're like, oh, 45, that's the one.

Cristina: I think I'm gonna be that weird person. I want to get that and check it out on people and try to.

Jack: Find the perfect 45 degree booty.

Cristina: Yes. What if I have it? I hope I do. Who knows?

Jack: You hope you have a perfect 45 degree booty?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You gotta buy that ruler.

Cristina: I will. And also, but that's a great reason to look for people with big butts is you just say I want smart.

Jack: Children and big butts equals smart children.

Cristina: Yeah, there you go. It makes so much sense.

Jack: So there's biological sense to want a nice a**. So all this bullshit about all a**** matter, you know, all shapes matter. What about small booty chicks? No, she's gonna have a r*****.

Cristina: What if she does surgery? Then you don't even know.

Jack: That's where being, that's where plastic surgery is a problem. Because she's gonna have fake big booty. And so your kids are gonna. And it's because she lied to you and pretended she had a big booty.

Cristina: Yes, of course.

Jack: But at the end of the day, survival, right?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So from their perspective, that's also like allowed because you have to survive by making children. By making children. Even if your children gonna be dumb because your b*** is small.

Cristina: I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Jack: It should be that apparently based on this information, all women with flat booties should die alone is what we're finding out.

Cristina: That's not what we're finding out.

Jack: That's exactly what this information said. It said we need to remove all the Hispanics from the camps we have so that we have space to start moving in the flat booted women so that we could just remove them from society. Because think about it, maybe the problem is that so many women have been creating fake booties and then guys have been mating with these women with fake booties and now those kids have grown up and run the world. Ah, that's the problem.

Cristina: No way.

Jack: That's the problem.

Cristina: Isn't it recent? This whole Big fake booty thing. Like those children aren't old enough to run the real world.

Jack: Those children were born in the 90s.

Cristina: But it's become super popular, like in the tens.

Jack: Rap made it popular, but.

Cristina: Yeah, but it's still the surgery, the expense and everything. Like now people could do it more easily.

Jack: Oh yeah, it's going to be more of a problem. Yeah, but before the fact that these flat booties women were coming across like they had big booties and they were allowed to mate instead of being sanitized.

Cristina: Oh my gosh.

Jack: You see the problem? So now what we have is flat bootied women mating and having dumb children. And then those dumb children being in their early 20s right now.

Jack: And they're the ones who are over here. But like those are the gen f******. What is it Z? Is that what the f*** they are? Gen X? I don't know, whatever the f******. The dumb kid, the Tide pod retards. Those morons are out here trying to like activism and cancel everything and like no, everything is wrong and, and, and gender. 3 million different names and there's definitely difference between women and men. Except if they want to do the same jobs and like what the f***? Oh my God. That's the same group of people that happened because flat bootied women pretended to have big booties and they made it. We shouldn't allow that. We found the problem.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. What would you trade that for? The baboon booties.

Jack: What do you mean baboon booties?

Cristina: Like do you wish women had big.

Jack: Red booties so that we can tell like your booty isn't red enough? You're bullshitting. Yeah, like your booty might be big, but it ain't red.

Cristina: Surgery to get it more red, they'll.

Jack: Get like some kind of spray tan equivalent. Oh, we'll find a way. People will find a way, man. It's human nature. Yeah, that quote from Jurassic Park. Nature always finds a way.

Cristina: So. Oh my gosh. They're gonna dye their butts.

Jack: They're gonna dye their butts and then they're gonna still mate and we can't stop it.

Cristina: What about the superpower of having an armored b***? Would you want an armored b*** like the wombat?

Jack: The wombat has an armored b***?

Cristina: Yes. It's filled with cartilage to protect itself.

Jack: From getting a** raped?

Cristina: From getting bit in the b***, I guess because it lives underground. So when it' running from the predator, it could smash the predator. It's actually defense and offense. It could attack. It's with its B***. Swinging its b*** and crash. That, you know, hit the head of the predator.

Jack: So it does like. Like giraffes and, like, swings its a** the way a giraffe swings its neck.

Cristina: I guess so. And it just destroys the head of the. What is dingle or Tasmanian devil that's chasing it.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting. So it's, like, really, really hard.

Cristina: Yeah. So would you like that?

Jack: Why would I like that?

Cristina: As a power or something? I don't know. No, no, no. You don't want a super b***. We're gonna find out what type of super b*** you want.

Jack: There's more than one super b***?

Cristina: Yes. This is just the first of many. Oh, no. This is the first of a few. The sea cucumber does a really interesting thing. I wouldn't want this power. I don't know. I'm very iffy about could shrink its body. And then it ejects its internal organs out of its b*** and onto its predators. And the organs are poisonous. So the fish die. A lot of the fish are poisoned. Like, it'll get poisoned and die.

Jack: But does the fish die too?

Cristina: No, the organs. Or some of the organs regenerate. That's the big problem to me. Some of the organs regenerate. I don't know, like. But I guess it's the important ones, Right? Like, it's still alive. It takes six to 10 weeks to regrow those organs.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: So, like, I feel like it's very dangerous, though, in that period of time when you're waiting for those things to grow back. How are you hunting for your own food? Unless Sea cucumbers don't need that type of food.

Jack: But it's spewing its organs through its b***.

Cristina: Yes. It's b***. Ho. It's just, like, vomiting its organs out. Can we say vomiting? I don't know. It's pooping.

Jack: Yeah, it's pooping its organs.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's like the worst kind of diarrhea.

Cristina: Yes. Would you like that?

Jack: No.

Cristina: I don't know. It's. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be that either. I like the wombat b*** more. Although the baboon b*** is pretty interesting. I don't know.

Jack: But the baboon b*** doesn't have powers.

Cristina: I know. It just gets really big and red and it's finally a lady doing the dance instead of the guy, which is unique and different.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: But I think wombat booty for me for now wins.

Jack: An armored booty.

Cristina: Yes. And there's this skipper, capis that can launch its poop.

Jack: It's a Cactus caterpillar. Oh.

Cristina: Oh, Skipper. There's a. There's a skipper caterpillar that launches its poop.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: Yeah, the poop is like little pellets, and it has, like, a special b*** launching pad, which it just, I guess, stores the poop until it needs it, and then it shoots it out to attack its predators.

Jack: Does it kill anything with it?

Cristina: I don't think so. I think it just probably, like, distracts the enemy and then runs away.

Jack: Got it. That makes sense. So, like, very slowly runs away?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like, really?

Cristina: It's a caterpillar. It's not a caterpillar. That slow?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Oh. I mean, maybe it causes some damage if it's like a boulder. When you fire a boulder at something that's gonna hurt, I don't think it's that strong, but, like, it'll annoy the villain. The villain, the predator, enough to be like, okay, I'm not gonna eat you. I'm going away.

Jack: Is that what happens?

Cristina: Yeah, I think so.

Jack: They just shoot their poop and the creature runs away?

Cristina: Yeah, maybe. Either that or yeah, I think it would, like, bother the. The. It would bother the predator enough that the. It would run away. That makes sense to me. Would you like that attack?

Jack: I guess that sounds better than the other ones.

Cristina: Then the wombat armor. I don't know. There's a. There's a tiny whale, a pygmy sperm whale. Most whales, their defense is being humongous. They're all humongous. Like, they don't need a defense. Their size is their defense. And this little whale has, like, it's. It has a special bladder of syrup, of b*** syrup that it shoots out when an enemy is attacking.

Jack: Keyword, b*** syrup.

Cristina: B*** syrup. Yes. It's cloudy, reddish brown goo that just, like, harm. It's harmful to the enemy. I don't know if it kills the enemy, but it's enough to distract the enemy so it could run away. Swim away. So you could swim away.

Jack: So boot syrup. Boot b*** syrup.

Cristina: B*** syrup? Yes, that's the scientific word for it. Okay.

Jack: Does it have a scientific word for the b*** syrup?

Cristina: No idea. It probably does, but it's just probably poop. I don't know. But that's an interesting evolution. Instead of doing the size thing like all the other whales, it's like, nope, I'm gonna be tiny, but I'm gonna have b*** syrup.

Jack: B*** syrup it is.

Cristina: I don't think I'd want that power or see that power. I don't want to see that either. Yeah, yeah. Then there's an Australian fitzro. Australian fitzroe river turtle who could breathe out of its b*******.

Jack: Whoa, wait. Could it breathe out of its mouth too? Does it just have two different breathing areas?

Cristina: I think it has two breathing areas, but the b******* helps it swim. It helps it stay underwater longer because it, like, holds in a bunch of air inside of its b***.

Jack: And what does it do with that air?

Cristina: It just stores it for when it needs it so it can stay underwater longer.

Jack: Right, but that. But that air goes through its b*** to its lungs.

Cristina: Maybe. I guess that's what I'm guessing. Yes, for sure. That's what it does, Nick. Stay underwater up to three weeks without taking a breath of air.

Jack: That's intense.

Cristina: That is. That might be a helpful power, maybe. I don't know.

Jack: In air through your booty.

Cristina: Yes. So you can stay underwater for a very long time.

Jack: Yeah. Imma go chill in the water for the next three weeks.

Cristina: I know. Yeah. I don't know how it would be helpful, but it seems helpful. Okay, sure.

Jack: If you gotta, like, spy on somebody and you gotta be, like, hidden in the water next to them or some s*** the whole time.

Cristina: That is weird.

Jack: Hide in somebody's pool for weeks.

Cristina: Then I would want the combination of this, this, and I guess the last thing with the sperm whale. So you can, like, if someone does find you in that water, you just shoot the vat syrup at them.

Jack: But then you asphyxiate and die.

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: In that instant, the b*** syrup is made out of your oxygen.

Cristina: Oh. So it wouldn't really be b*** syrup anymore.

Jack: It'd be oxygen syrup.

Cristina: It would be, but like a poisonous fart or something.

Jack: Nah, because you still have to be able to survive off of it.

Cristina: Oh, but it wouldn't be syrupy.

Jack: I don't know. Water is syrupy if you do it right, I guess.

Cristina: But oxygen isn't, if that's what you're surviving off of. Oxygen.

Jack: I'm assuming while they're in their water. In the water, their b*** takes in water and pulls out oxygen from it. It's just pulling in literal air. They grab air outside and then go in the water.

Cristina: It might be that. It could be that it sticks his b*** out of the water, sucks in the oxygen, and then jumps in the water. You know what that sounds like? That sounds right. And the manatee actually farts. Held in gas to get deeper in the water. That's. It's superpower.

Jack: How's that a superpower?

Cristina: Because I don't know. It's Super. Because it's. You don't think that's super?

Jack: It feels like swimming.

Cristina: It feels like. But it can go deeper than other swimming creatures, I guess. Other water mammals, I guess that's fine. It helps with food. Less competitors if you can go deeper than the other ones.

Jack: Yeah, but that's not a superpower. That's just like, I got more agility or some s***, I guess.

Cristina: Okay, that's a weak one. Who wins right now? I think the caterpillar wins right now. No, the one that takes out its organs. That creature.

Jack: That kind of sucks.

Cristina: That kind of sucks. Yeah. It is super, though. It's both. Then the dragonfly, when it's a baby. When they're babies, they're underwater nymphs and they use their b*** to swim in the water and also to eat.

Jack: They eat through their b***?

Cristina: No, the air pushing, I guess, out of their b*** helps them move their mouth. Out of their mouth somehow. Tissue. I don't know how it works, but yes, they use their b*** to help them eat.

Jack: So like fart launch forward and grab things quicker. So when you see a dragonfly just like scooting around, it's just sustaining like a long fart.

Cristina: It's not the dragonfly, though. It's the baby form, the nymph. I don't know. Do they look like dragonflies? I don't think so.

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: It sounds like a fairy type of thing, that word. I don't know what that word comes from. Nymph. Have you heard of it?

Jack: I have. I don't know what it is.

Cristina: What was your favorite superpower or super b***, I guess. What was your favorite super b***? You don't care about any of them?

Jack: No, not really. Those are some. No, not really. Those pretty crappy b*** powers.

Cristina: I don't know. The wombat wins for me. Have you seen the largest, or I guess one of the largest butts in the world? It's 8.25ft round and it belongs to an elephant. No, human. A human's b***. I want to show you her booty, if I can. Or I guess her body because it's kind of ridiculous. Her name is Mikael and she's an American and she has one of the biggest booties in the world.

Jack: I mean, it's not really that her booty is particularly big, though. It's like she's really morbidly obese and a lot of that weight is caught in her a**. It's grease, not fat.

Cristina: So it's so what? It's grease.

Jack: Yeah. Oh, it's like, not healthy fat by any means. Her thighs are the size of my body.

Cristina: Whoa. That's so crazy. Is there a Guinness World Record for that? Probably. It's too ridiculous.

Jack: Guinness World Record for everything.

Cristina: Yeah. Even though we're the only animals with butts, the way we have them, our booty cheeks. What other animals do you think have butts compared to us?

Jack: Compared? What do you mean?

Cristina: I guess like, when you imagine animals with big butts, what do you imagine?

Jack: Corgis.

Cristina: Corgis. Is that the famous.

Jack: That's the famous non booty cheek b*** animal.

Cristina: And chickens. Chickens do not have big butts.

Jack: Well, they have butts. Well, they don't really. They have like their a** up in a weird way.

Cristina: The turkey beats the chicken, though.

Jack: Yes. They both have pretty big butts.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: As compared to other birds.

Cristina: Yeah. And like, think like the spider for insects. Or not insects, whatever. Are spider.

Jack: Arachnids.

Cristina: Arachnids. Spiders got big butts.

Jack: Is that the spider's b***?

Cristina: I actually. I have no idea. That's probably its body.

Jack: That's probably.

Cristina: But I consider it its b***. Yes.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: With like, the snake doesn't have any. But.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Or dolphins or any fish in general. In general. So. But you know what? I think the biggest lover of butts besides, I guess humans and baboons are dogs. Dogs love butts. They don't love big butts, but they sure love butts.

Jack: They don't love butts. It's just how they communicate.

Cristina: Yeah, it is. They love smelling. They still love sniffing butts. I mean. No, it is communication.

Jack: I don't think it's like, do you go to your 9 to 5 and then love talking to your boss? No, you gotta communicate. You don't love talking to your boss. Yeah, you gotta communicate.

Cristina: Yeah. So this is just them communicating with each other.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah. You know, they could smell the mood of the other dog.

Jack: That's interesting. I didn't know that.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, their nose is a superpower.

Jack: Yeah. Dog's nose is some crazy s***. So is their hearing. A dog is kind of a superhero.

Cristina: And the hear. And their hearings. Yeah. And they're hearing. Yes, they could. They can smell some strange things, though. Like they can smell bugs. Like, if you had termites and they knew how to smell what that. That smell like? If they were trained to sniff out termites, they could point it to you. So they're so helpful. And they can smell even things that you wouldn't imagine that they could, like die. Diabetic attacks, cancer and Seizure. You didn't think a dog would be able to sense those things? I don't know if it's smell related, but I think it's part smell related, part visual of like seeing what you're going through.

Jack: Smelling a seizure sounds crazy to me.

Cristina: That does. Those three things sound crazy to me.

Jack: Cancer, diabetes is a sugar shift. Sugar is potent.

Cristina: Mmm. So there's obviously something they can smell from that.

Jack: Cancer is rotten.

Cristina: Oh, the seizure.

Jack: How do you smell a seizure?

Cristina: It could be that they can see the difference of your body changing because that causes you to your reaction to change. Like what's happening to you. Your whole body is just yeah, yeah, yeah. Which might not. Someone might not notice that quickly, but maybe dogs could sense it quicker. I also learned two very interesting stories about b*** mythologies or b*** related folklore. And they're both Japanese stories and they're amazing. And the first one is there's this creature called Shurimi, which is. Which just translates to b*** eye.

Jack: B*** eye?

Cristina: Yeah, Buttock's eye. Can you imagine what this creature looks like?

Jack: It's an eye in somebody's b***.

Cristina: Exactly. Yes. This yokai has. I think he has no face, but for some reason he does have an eye in his b*******. And he likes to scare people with his eye b***. He stalks people. They're like what's go like they'll call you out in night to. So you turn around to look at them and then they'll flash you their b*** eye. With their b*** eye. With their shiny b*** eye. I don't think they're evil or anything. They're just want to show off their b***. Aye. To you.

Jack: Like all these women who are the problem, they want to show off their b***.

Cristina: The flat butts.

Jack: The flat butts who are pretending to be plump butts.

Cristina: Yes. There's nothing evil about that.

Jack: About sh. Yeah, there is. If the reason that the world is in turmoil is because of fake booties. That's why they freak. The ones who freaked out at Kendrick Lamar when he said that line. I'm so sick and tired of the Photoshop.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Wait, they're mad that he said he's tired of Photoshop?

Jack: Well, no, he says like he wants something natural.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: And it's like, yeah, because non natural is making people stupid.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: People being born dumb because flat booties are allowed to have children. We need to get all China on this s***. If you're flat booty, you're not allowed.

Cristina: You have to tell China that.

Jack: No, we got to get China on board. I mean China's gonna listen anyways, because this lies. Is it gonna. You know, let's conclude this. Now that we know, we're gonna tell the president.

Cristina: The president's not gonna make the world do this.

Jack: He can pass laws that the world listens to.

Cristina: No, the world does not listen to him.

Jack: Yeah. Especially Russia and China.

Cristina: To this president.

Jack: Yeah. To Biden.

Cristina: To Biden.

Jack: To Biden.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They're gonna listen to Biden.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And they're gonna sign another. Another. I'm gonna convince him, and he's gonna sign one that stops all the flat booties from mating.

Cristina: From mating?

Jack: Yeah. We gotta tie their tubes against her will.

Cristina: What? No.

Jack: Gonna open these camps in these camps.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. I thought you were just gonna kick the Spanish people out.

Jack: Yeah, and then we gotta clean it.

Cristina: Okay, so you're not making new camps. You're just using the ones that you have.

Jack: Yeah. We gotta prepare it for the flat booties.

Cristina: Yeah, because the Spanish people will most likely have booties.

Jack: Yes. We need to release them back into society because Hispanic a** is fine.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It's flat booties that are.

Cristina: It's a crime.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Flat b*** is a crime.

Jack: Flat b*** is a crime.

Cristina: You heard it here. That would be so crazy. I would like you to convince him of that. Or I guess him convince the world of that. I don't know.

Jack: Both.

Cristina: Both. It's very strange. Then there's this creature called the kappa. You've probably seen him before. He's like a green toad looking creature in Japan. He's like. He's human like, and green, though. Kind of alien like, I guess. But he looks kind of like a turtle. Y. Human, I guess. Sounds familiar. No.

Jack: Is that tur. Is it. That is a turtle. I was thinking frog.

Cristina: Oh, yes. It could be frog. I could be wrong. It's one of those things. It's green. It's from Japan.

Jack: Because I'm thinking that frog from the cereal box.

Cristina: The cereal box.

Jack: There's like a weird golden cereal that tastes like cardboard.

Cristina: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jack: Yeah, it's like little beans. The co. The. It looks like coffee. Beans.

Cristina: Beans. Coffee. There.

Jack: Oh, that's a f****** Pokemon.

Cristina: That's a Pokemon. It's gonna be a Pokemon if it's not a Pokemon.

Jack: No, no, no. It definitely 100% is a Pokemon.

Cristina: Oh, that's the one you were talking about, right?

Jack: Right.

Cristina: Yes. Oh, crap. I didn't get its name. Well, yes, there's a Pokemon that looks like Kappa and it is a Kappa. It is a Kappa. Well, there's this thing inside our butts called shirikodama. It's like a magical ball that we all have inside our butts.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: And these kappas want that.

Jack: So they're gonna stick their fingers in your b*** to get it.

Cristina: Yes. Pretty much killing you, probably. Most likely. Or they'll drown you and then take it fun. Yes. Yes.

Jack: So you're gonna get drowned and then.

Cristina: They'Ll take your magic b***.

Jack: They're gonna. Their fingers in your a**.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And search for magic ball.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Got it.

Cristina: And they're not sure what that magic ball is, but it might be related to our soul. Like, it could be our soul in there.

Jack: Our soul is in our b***?

Cristina: It could be. Yes. Or it could be our liver. I don't know if that's in there, but that's strange.

Jack: So they're fishing for our soul through our b***. Fantastic.

Cristina: We have a soul in a ball that's in our b***. Yes. That's pretty awesome.

Jack: The b*** soul.

Cristina: The b*** sole. Yep. I mean, where else would the soul be, do you know?

Jack: In your chest, I guess.

Cristina: That's where you think it's in?

Jack: Yeah, I think the consciousness is in the head and the soul is somewhere in the chest area.

Cristina: Where do you get that? Where does anyone get that?

Jack: Seems right.

Cristina: It just seems right. What was the first one? The conscious.

Jack: Yeah. Conscious mind or the mind. The consciousness or the mind? If they're not the same thing, they're in the same place, at least.

Cristina: I don't know how we can prove where the conscious is either.

Jack: No, we can't.

Cristina: But you're saying if I.

Jack: If I had to guess where it is.

Cristina: On the head.

Jack: It's in the head. And if I have to guess where the soul is? Probably in your chest somewhere.

Cristina: Just trying to think about what keeps your heart pumping. The heart itself.

Jack: Something that's keeping the heart pumping. I'll call that the soul.

Cristina: Okay, so the thing that's keeping the heart pumping is the soul. Maybe. Maybe. Yes.

Jack: The brain needs the blood of the heart, so the brain ain't keeping the heart up. You have somebody brain dead whose heart works.

Cristina: So then. But then how about consciousness? Where do you get that idea?

Jack: I don't know. I'm just saying that that's in the head. But I know that the heart has to be kept up by something other than the body, other than the mind. That thing that we can't identify. That's what's doing it.

Cristina: Interesting, huh? Then maybe the consciousness is in our b***. Maybe that ball, the magical ball. Is actually our conscious. How could we prove that wrong?

Jack: Maybe that magical ball is our genetic code.

Cristina: Our genetic code?

Jack: Like a perfect blueprint to making another human or something.

Cristina: Why would they want that?

Jack: To make another human or something.

Cristina: Oh, then maybe they're aliens. They look aliens. They're little green men.

Jack: That seems legit. I mean, don't little green men already probe a****?

Cristina: Exactly. This is a water alien.

Jack: This a water alien Sticking crap in your a**, trying to pull something out. They're looking for the secret to life, and it's in your a**.

Cristina: It's in your a**. Yes. Yes.

Jack: Whoa, whoa. The secret to life is in our a*******?

Cristina: Maybe if we have bigger butts, though, we can protect that.

Jack: God's a genius. Right? Because it's like the last place they're gonna look inside their a******.

Cristina: Yeah. How did these creatures figure it out?

Jack: Magic. Well, no, they're aliens. They probably. They probably went through this whole process themselves. Yeah, they know it's in their a******. Yeah, they're like. It's always in the a******.

Cristina: That's amazing. But they don't really know why they want it. There's like, two guesses. One is they like to eat those balls, those magic balls.

Jack: So they eat souls?

Cristina: Yeah. Or it's some kind of tax to the dragon King who lives under the sea, and they're paying him.

Jack: I don't care about anything else anymore. There's a dragon king that lives under the f****** sea?

Cristina: Yes. I don't know anything about him, but I'll learn about him.

Jack: Is it Nessie?

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. What?

Jack: A dragon that lives under the f****** sea? I guess it's not Nessie, because she lives in a lake. But, like, there's a f****** dragon that lives under the sea. The Dragon King.

Cristina: The dragon king are dragons, Water creatures? I guess. I don't know. No, they're like lizards, maybe. Well, the Chinese dragon that we were talking about has to be a water dragon, right? Because the fish is in the water. The fish isn't turning into a sky thing.

Jack: Yeah, that's a western dragon, but it's a water dragon.

Cristina: Right.

Jack: The ones that are in the. The Chinese and Japanese dragons are water dragons, not water dragons, but they're like snake things. Like, unless it's flying without wings, I'm assuming they. That those things exist in the water.

Cristina: Yeah. So maybe. Yeah. So then the dragon king would be a water dragon king. Interesting.

Jack: Gyarados is water dragon. That's a Pokemon.

Cristina: Yeah, he's a magical dragon king. Maybe he is the dragon King.

Jack: He's the Dragon King.

Cristina: You think there's magic balls in Pokemon? That's horrifying. There's Kappa. Yes. I mean, the Soul Ball. Unless you think those are souls, they're just playing with other creatures. Souls?

Jack: Like, I mean, isn't Electrode and Voltorb both just pokeballs that are alive?

Cristina: Yes. There's something wrong there. I don't know. They live in a world that. What's his name from Blue's Clue. Not Blue's Clues. That's the wrong guy. That old show, Peewee Playhouse. Remember his house? It's all alive, right? He lives in the Pokemon world.

Jack: Yeah, kind of. He's just trapped in his house or hiding from the rest of the world, where everything is violent and murdering each other.

Cristina: Yeah, but his house is alive.

Jack: Dude, that's crazy.

Cristina: Pokemon.

Jack: A single Pokemon, you take over the world.

Cristina: Yeah, one.

Jack: You got one Pokemon. There's no other Pokemon.

Cristina: You take over the world even like a Diglett?

Jack: The Diglett is crazy. You could topple buildings with a Diglett. With a Diglett.

Jack: They're too overpowered, bro. Pokemon. Like, really?

Cristina: There's no useless Pokemon. What about Rattata?

Jack: Nah, it's.

Cristina: It's.

Jack: The problem is it has the ability to do random s***. Like one, lightning fast. Two, it can attack people. It's your weapon.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: I guess somebody could pull up that with a gun, though. Just pop your Rattata in the face.

Cristina: Oh, hey.

Jack: It is what it is.

Cristina: Well, if it's super quick, though, maybe you can stop that Again, it depends.

Jack: How quick it is.

Cristina: But it has a quick attack type thing.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It has both agility and quick attack. It depends how quick it is. Like, is it so quick that. Boom. It's at your gun.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This fire.

Cristina: Right? Your hand that's holding the gun.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's crazy, man.

Cristina: If it's that quick, then that's. Then there's nothing.

Jack: There's nothing stopping them. But there's also, like, if you somehow caught, like, Ash. Ash is so overpowered. If you really wanted to, because he somehow comes across every God.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You can just capture a m*********** and that's it. It's a wrap. He runs the world.

Cristina: He'll never catch one.

Jack: Also, why does Team Rocket want his s***** a**? Pikachu. That's the worst. Pikachu.

Cristina: It's because they're not really villains, dude.

Jack: He gets KO'd by level one Pokemon.

Cristina: Yes. They're not villains. They don't want to be doing evil things. They're just Pretending by chasing a Pikachu, they're just friend. Yes.

Jack: There's Frenemy.

Cristina: They're stalking him. But also they can lie to their boss like, yeah, we're doing something.

Jack: Doing things.

Cristina: Yeah. But obviously they're not. They're trying to catch a. Talking. Like, no, they're trying to catch a rat. A giant rat.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Like, who cares? That's such a lame Pokemon.

Jack: Yeah. Pikachu sucks. F****** Dragon King. Are you kidding me?

Cristina: Yes. That is pretty epic. You know what else is pretty epic?

Jack: What?

Cristina: Researchers painted eyes on cow butts to stop lions from attacking. And it worked.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Yep. No cows were attacked. The ones that didn't have eyes painted on them, I think, like, two of them died in that group. But the ones that did, none of them died.

Jack: Interesting. So the lions were, like, too confused about what creature they were looking at.

Cristina: Yeah. Like. Yeah. Because they like to sneak attack. And since this creature, this new creature to them is looking at them, never blinking, just decided, nope, can't do this.

Jack: Interesting. Yeah. It's horrifying because it looks like it's always looking at you.

Cristina: Yeah. Which for something that likes to surprise, there's nothing it could do.

Jack: Yeah. For a cat, the worst thing you could do is always watch it. It thinks it's being hunted.

Cristina: Yeah. So that's pretty amazing.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So we talked about. So we talked about pros of the booty, but there are some bad stuff that could happen to your booty. I don't know if it's naturally or it's just, like, bad luck or you did something wrong and it caused your booty to attack you. But there's things like hemorrhoids, which is one of the most painful a*** diseases out there, which is like veins of blood around your a***. These veins of blood on your b*** that engorges around your booty. Hoe. That sucks.

Jack: Yep. Sounds painful.

Cristina: It does. There's also a*** fissures. That's the tearing of tissue along the a*** canal, which is caused by giant poops.

Jack: A*** fissures are caused by giant poops?

Cristina: Yes. Like, they're too big. They come out and they hurt your skin around.

Jack: Like Bono.

Cristina: Like Bono Bono?

Jack: Yeah. The Pope had Bono.

Cristina: Yeah. He probably caused him to have some problems in that area.

Jack: Many, many.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: He had Bono.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: The Pope pooped Bono.

Cristina: There's also a*** warts and itchy a***. That are problems that could happen to you.

Jack: How do they happen?

Cristina: I think a*** warts is. I don't know. It's a viral disorder. I don't know. I don't know how they can happen, but I know the symptoms. The warts are tiny spots inside the a*** opening. They also itchy and they can grow over time.

Jack: Very weird information. We definitely need to get the president to sign that bill to. To get rid of tiny butted people.

Cristina: To get rid of tiny butted, flat butted, flat butts.

Jack: The flat butts need to go. We got. We got to get all the Hispanics out of the camps and into society. We got to reintegrate them so that their butts can create the next generation of intellect. And we got to put the dumb flat butts into the camps and fake butts into the camps so that they stop mating. We got to stop this problem that's happening in society today.

Cristina: But that's only for the women. There has to be something that women are attracted to men in some weird way like this, right? Because there should be some men in those jails too, just for some equal fun. Because then there's gonna be too much men out there.

Jack: No, the problem is that men also have butts. Right? And so we're assuming that their j*** is infused with intelligence because big butts.

Cristina: Wow. Okay.

Jack: This needs to be. Only people with big butts need to be allowed to man.

Cristina: Okay? So for all of them.

Jack: For all of them. Men and women, dude, they can make stupid children in the camps that we don't introduce into society.

Cristina: Okay? What?

Jack: But if you're gonna be in society, we forcefully tie your tubes or you go to a camp. One or the other. That's it. You don't have a choice.

Cristina: You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. That's crazy.

Jack: You opt into tubes being tied or a camp.

Cristina: We'll have that special ruler to measure your curve b*** growth. Yeah. Your curve ratio.

Jack: Everybody will have it. We'll have like in the last of us, where there's a guy walking up to people with a thermometer. Like, there's gonna be cops outside just checking. Like, that doesn't look like a Right. And that doesn't look like a 45 degree angle. Plump booty. Yeah, get the ruler. Then they check you. They stop you. They're like, we got to check your booty. People freak out. No, no, don't check my daughter. She's too young. She's just a child.

Cristina: Should there be an age for this?

Jack: No, because these people are gonna grow up anyways. We got to stop the problem as young as we can. If we can do something to feed them the Proper foods to make their booties grow.

Cristina: But what age do we start measuring? We can't be measuring babies.

Jack: We can't be measuring babies. No, no, no, no. Anybody you gave Burger King to, That's over developed because they had too many hormones in the food. And they're like a 35 year old looking 12 year old at that age.

Cristina: Because they're still maturing. So it should be when they stop maturing, which is in the 20s.

Jack: D***. That's problematic though, because we could have corrected the issue, but we don't know.

Cristina: If there's an issue or not.

Jack: Yes, because they might have too flat of a booty.

Cristina: Huh?

Jack: Tell me. Growth spurts, essentially.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Take it to account. A growth spurt.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Height wise. Females stop growing around 16 years of age.

Cristina: So we gotta start measuring them at 16.

Jack: I guess like their body stops fully developing around that time. You know what you're gonna look like as a female at 16, while a male usually grows until they're about 24.

Cristina: That's a problem.

Jack: Yeah. While intellectually men seem to stop mentally developing at a fast pace at around 18 to 19, while women up to 26 years of age.

Cristina: Whoa. What? Why so different?

Jack: I have no idea.

Cristina: It's crazy. 26 years of age?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: So then what's the right age to measure these butts though?

Jack: When you introduce fake hormones into their body, Lacavia?

Cristina: Any age.

Jack: Fair enough. When the hormones start affecting their body.

Cristina: So when it starts.

Jack: Yeah, I guess. Teenage years and older. We need cops out there the way these cops are out here popping kids anyways. Just because it looked like he had a gun. Even if it was pink, it was abnormally small. It was shooting water. We shot him anyways because we felt in danger. Get those same very dedicated cops to run up to young women with rulers and measure their b*** angle.

Cristina: We need some kind of thing that will stop kids from reproducing though, as kids.

Jack: Fair enough. That means immediately you put an implant when these kids are born into their skin of a thing that's gonna casually drop a sterilant into their body, preventing them from having children. Until you decide. And then you don't have to test anything. You wait until in this society everybody has to go to the doctor so the doctor can tell them whether they can mate or not.

Cristina: Yes. And if you fail, you die. No, you go to camp.

Jack: Well, now you can't have kids anyways, because now we've done it since you're young.

Cristina: Oh, okay. So no camps.

Jack: No camps.

Cristina: Okay. Now you just can't have Kids. Yeah.

Jack: The doctor has to clear you. Your buddy is. Your booty's plump enough to have kids.

Cristina: Okay. There you go. Okay. I guess that works.

Jack: Boot's plump enough to have kids. Yes, that's the solution. We're gonna get Biden to sign that into the world contract.

Cristina: Do we even have that type of technology, though, to stop people and then give them the ability to afterwards, when.

Jack: We decide it's right, kidnap a billionaire's child and threaten their life? And they're going to suddenly come up with a solution? Okay, yes, 100% they'll come up with it. Like, if the. Actually, no, you got to threaten the billionaire. They're by. F*** it. It's just a kid. I can make another one.

Cristina: Oh, my God.

Jack: You got to, like, scare the billionaires, and then they'll do it. Yes, because they don't care.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Once you give them the fear, all the money to make this happen will happen overnight. They'll have it tomorrow.

Cristina: Mm, that sounds like a great plan.

Jack: Anyways, this is we're gonna do. We're gonna get Biden to sign that into law. The world is gonna listen to it, of course, and it is what it is. Now, if you guys want to learn more about butts, we literally don't have a single other episode about butts. But now you know about butts, and you know about powers and creatures, and along those lines, you could find out about powers and creatures in many of our episodes.

Cristina: Yeah, we have different episodes with different powers and different creatures, and some with probably powers and creatures involved. I'm not sure. There's probably combinations.

Jack: It's like the Chupacabra and crap like that.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Powerful creatures.

Cristina: Do you think the Chupacabra has a b***?

Jack: Like, maybe not maybe. I don't know. There was that Chupacabra running next to the guy's car and look like a dog. So it has about, like, a dog's.

Cristina: Booty, which isn't that much.

Jack: Which isn't that much.

Cristina: Unless it's a corgi Chupacabra.

Jack: Yes, A corgi cobra. Anyways, if you guys want to find more stuff of that nature, you can find all of that stuff on the official website, greythoughts.info on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And also remember to subscribe. That's always great. And you can rate the show. That's always great. But you can also leave a Review. That's extra, extra great. Although subscribing is better.

Cristina: Yes. And let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yeah. Word of mouth, the most overpowered thing in the face of the earth. Always ask with the kindness of your heart.

Cristina: Yes. After complimenting your booties. Yes.

Jack: Compliment their booties.

Cristina: Yes. Compliment. And then say, listen to this.

Jack: Yeah. You tell them, look, we need to mate because I got a sweet booty. You got a sweet booty. And here's an episode of a show that's going to teach you why we need to mate.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because our booties are sweet.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And after they listen, gonna be like, yeah, I guess if we're gonna have a smart kid, it better be both of us that have nice booties.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I gotta take the chance that my kid isn't stupid.

Cristina: Yes. It's proved by science. Proved by science. Yep. This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: I guess. Yeah.

Cristina: Because you're like, oh, I need to share this with the world.

Jack: But what about people who transcribe for a job? They can't possibly like the things they transcribe. No, that's just like, how much does medical transcription suck?

Cristina: That has to scrap. That must be the worst.

Jack: Yeah. No, I think it's worse to be in court. Or you're transcribing random documents that everybody's saying, and it's like mundane, boring garbage you've heard day after day after day after day, but you're just there to record any nuanced difference.

Cristina: Every once in a while, there must be something exciting in the court.

Jack: You can't really pay attention.

Cristina: Oh, what?

Jack: Because you got to catch every word. You're not allowed to process any of them.

Cristina: Oh, yeah, that's. That's really strange. That's a strange job. Yeah. Because you're doing it right live.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: There's no slip up there. You gotta.

Jack: I guess that's different than transcribing.

Cristina: More stressful.

Jack: Yeah, that's. That's very different than transcribing something you've heard a million times or not.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Not heard a million times. Something you've this pre recorded and you could rewind and stuff.

Cristina: Yeah. So maybe it's exciting, that type of way where you're like, I got to do this right.

Jack: Yeah. You're trying to be perfect. You can't f*** up.

Cristina: Yeah. So exciting. To some horrifying for other people. Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.