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Humor

It Was Said With Love

Let loose, be unfiltered and uncensored. Play with your craft and stop being scared of what others might think.


Jack writes a twisted poem playing with random thoughts in his head.

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Miserable, missable, invisible
Dis the bull get the horns
Get recorded watching porn
Sell the tape in black market
To the underwear gnomes
I know the underworld’s flows
Hang with zombies roasting brain wondering about peculiar things
Wrapped around my hot dog
That hot broad’s buns come hot off the stove
This Hot Rod runs with nowhere to go
Interconnected, my thoughts sense it
Write like I forgot to have breakfast
My behavior all reckless
By the water cooler angry calling…

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In Your Head

A short dark and twisted rap about head.

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I’m a madman
Hanging out with Batman’s villains
Quite a bad man
Chillen with the sandman
Feelin’ kinda of goofy
When I’m feelin’ on the ladies that I’ve roofied
Breakfast in bed be the truth, G
Vitamin D for the bitches
I’m a brute, see
Her head be tripping
Stumble
My knees weak
I’m humbled when my dick she grippin’
Sippin’ that red wine
She’s takin’ her damn time
She wants to go home
But the glock to her head says it ain’t time
She don’t want to no more
I don’t want to joke her
But if she stops too soon I might…

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Spit Wit Like a Trickflip

In this piece Jack is talking smack as thought this blog were a rap.

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The mind of a maker
Keeping up a grind ‘till I take it
Trickflip the shit quick with the sick wit
Acrobatic causing havoc when I’m at it ‘cause I’ve had it
Hot when I rock steaming glass shatters not
I’m a dick all outta shits
Won’t pull out
Clean staying mean, butt won’t cool down
Been around tried a couple of different sounds
Hearing the bitch screaming “don’t stop now”
That’s the voice in the background
Extra, Extra, Extra, going mad now
And I won’t back down
And I won’t stand down
And I won’t blackout
And I won’t quite shout
I slither when I whispers sneaking
Measure with whiskers fiending
Cat and mouse
You stumbled into the wrong house
No way out now
The claws behind these paws will cause a loss
Time and cost developed the sight which caught the tiny critters behind my bars
Inside my mirror I…

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Fake Mumbling

Jack takes a shot at Mumble Rappers out of sheer boredom in this lyrical trash talk.

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Fuckin’ in the hood
That pussy good the way it should be
More straps than a thug
Hold ‘em to they mug
Like where the fuck my bucks be?
I ain’t bugs, G
I’m Elmer Fud, see?
I’m shooting ducks this season
Showing up to caskets drunk on drugs
Fuck your feelings
Suck a dog
I’m too dick for the shit I’m saying
Shit seems tame half the time I’m spraying
Acid on…

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Rosemary

Rosemary is a brief comedy telling the story of a director of the same name during an award ceremony.

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Frozen in place Rosemary quivers as it dawns on her, the crowds gaze right through her. They've not yet recognized she's there. All her efforts in becoming a successful director gone to waste as no one knows it's the premiere of her film in the first place.

She isn't the most attractive of women. And this happens at each of her premieres. She goes unnoticed. But this time she's had it. Rosemary came ready to end the night with a bang.

"If they don't remember me now, then it doesn't matter," she whispers speaking to herself. A normal occurrence these days. Her delusive mind has gradually collapsed on itself and her obsessive need for this attention drives her motivations. She can't seem to cope with the fact that her films turn out to be each year's box office top seller yet she remains unknown to the world. "It's the first goddamn credit in…

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Truest Haiku

In this Haiku, Jack reflects with profound depth on writing poetry and what it's truest nature is in reference to himself. A look into the world of writing. 

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Poetic Rhythm
Emotions as Metaphors
I just write shit talk 

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Determined

A simple rap by Jack taking jabs at the way the masses live.

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I’m a wit mess that leave no witness when I pen with quickness
My words are my vest
I invest in morphing into the best by tossing all of my stress into the canvas

Shots fired
The effort will go admired, but maybe it’s time you retire
Understand I am the man with the skill you wish you had

Hi, I’m Will
Here’s the way out
Follow it
We’ll all be proud you’ll no longer be around getting loud about all the stacks your raps catch
Yet, somehow tomorrow at work, you’ll be right back
9 - 5, your life is like that

I’m not, mines not, It won’t
I won’t be caught
I said the pen would put food on the table
I haven’t been hungry enough to eat my words yet
Although I’m able
This shopping list is long and I’m…

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I'm a Straight up G

Comedy "Rap" Lyrics

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Spit hot bars
Ride nice cars
Make up for the fact I’m not smart
Buy bitches with money and fame
Because if I pretended I had game
The laughs would be too insane
They’d haunt me until the day I sprayed my toy UZI rounds through my skull into my brain
Bounced around and scrambled shame
Left nothing but a ring...

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The Article

...own hands
Craft, build the blueprints
Brand, leave his imprint
Band together two cents
Speak whether it fits
Dent critic inputs

Spitting fishing hooks
Hitting the shook unwilling crooks
Silly Billy words are taken literally
Hurts the butts of many herds
Heard the words played in reverse

No stutter
The words slick like butter
Utter the terms I stand under
The curbs are straight, brother
No turns, no lights
The window shutters shut tight
Exit sign isn’t lit...

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Talk More Shit Than A Bathroom

...their heads no one else knows
Where the only threat is the host and their most intimate regrets that they wish to hide yet can’t seem but expose when they feel at home in their minds hard at work
I’m somewhere there in that place where it’s difficult to care or give a shit what the people out here think
It’s clear I’m a strange guy, obsessed with death
Wear black hats with cat faces and a leather jackets with the words “come at me” on the back
Weird, a little morally grey I seem to be okay with almost anything
But who knows what I want you to think if not me, the prick you can figure out?
Stick around, you’ll see
I want you to wonder who I am and come up with no answers and get sick and spaz
For I stand without one
It’s what I want
To be a question mark harder to pick apart and asses the individual parts and imitate than it is to start from scratch
Have them scratching their heads wondering “Who the fuck is this kid killing it like a villain spitting shit he don’t seem to be regretting? Don’t write like no rapper I’ve heard, but his lines are so dope that I’m high off his words.”
Bitch, I don’t rap, not yet, I’m too good for that, but when...

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Family of Four

Half way to the bronze doorknob, letter in hand, Hue freezes up paranoid.

“But… What if…?” he doesn’t finish.

Clarisse just happens to open the door a second shy of Hue talking himself out of this.

His eyes are locked on hers. He’s sweating cannon balls. Hue’s horrified, mortified standing there reaching out with a letter he almost managed to never delivering.

Eyes wide. He looks like an idiot and he knows it, but he can’t fix his face or his body and remains frozen in place.

Finally she speaks. “Is… Is that for me?” she asks.

He doesn’t speak, instead, Hue reaches out further with the letter and Clarisse snatches it. The envelope stood no chance against her insatiable need-to-know.

“EEEK!” Clarisse claps and screams. Tightly wrapping her arms around Hue she whispers, “Yes… I’ll marry you!”

And Hue feels his veins become raceways for a relaxing adrenaline rush-hour of endorphins.

Flash forward ten years and they’re still together.  Got a boy of six and a girl of five and moved up North.

That’s the greatest tragedy that’s ever occurred in this little town.

Who thinks something like this would happen in such a quiet safe place?

Guy marries his sister and kidnaps two children before disappearing up North, never to be seen again. That’s pretty fucked up.

They stopped looking on the second day but the promos ran for months.

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Alien Report

Observations Report:

Planet: Sun 3
Density: Moderate
Magnetic Poles: Strong
Molten Core: Active
Tectonic Plates: Many
Seasons: 4
Weather: Variety

Fauna: Lush
Fauna Intellect: Pre-Conscious, 77% to meeting the ‘Intelligent Life’ Bar
Flora: Lush
Atmosphere: Dissipating

These biological creatures seem to coexist with machines of all type.
They’re viciously hostile to other biological life forms but seem nearly symbiotic with...

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Rhyme Battle Response

...mouth just tryna be loud?
Proud of something but no sign in town?
And I gotta say
I don’t think it’s wise to be spillin’ your brain
On the sidewalk
It’s nice but you need it for this game
Come join the circle I’m makin’
You’ll find it was around the spot you were standin’
Tryna fix the square you’re designi’
Life’s not fair
So quit ridin’ your own dick
Start spyin’ on those of us who know what...

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Volcano

...as my words clear the clouds
A firenado with some sharks for good measure shoots down
The ground rumbles and crumbles and magma comes out

In this case the ground is the shit you’re tryina say
These whack “clever” comebacks you lack to strike or attack with
Step back you dimwitted half ass attempt at real lyrics you can’t spit
Save yourself, don’t keep wastin’ away on these lame displays
Go and hibernate, save your energy for another day
Use it on a person two or three notches away from you
A couple of million from me
Do it for you and do it for me

Don’t draw an imaginary box for yourself and think it defines you
You’re allowed to be trash...

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Talking Shit for Kicks

...specks of this place

It’ll cost you
The early blueprints of how I plan to destroy
I come from outer space in a ship made of special alloys
To knock the taste out of your face
I don’t come alone
There’s a convoy
You can’t keep pace
You’re chasing the decoy
Impaired
You don’t comprehend
Compared to me your nobody
Life isn’t fair
Quit pretendin’
You ain’t destined to be a legend
Speaking just to flex your beak, peckin’
You’re weak
Couldn’t keep up with me if I stopped movin’
Swapped the flow and changed the beat
Started groovin’ to soothin’ slow music
You still....

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Old Folks Home

...hide and seek while old Fred dies
With his dick tied to the TV
Two fingers up his ass
At least he tried to fuck the stars

Mary Mac just won a pool game with a ball of crack
Behind the reception counter
Hides a fatty
Some powdered molly
While she attends some hottie lookin’ for his daddy

Dan with his little badge ain’t shit
Imagine it, standin’ with his dick in his hands
Not doin’...

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Newborn Phobia

...overwhelms her and puts Stacy in a catatonic state of rapid contemplation.

Family wants to meet the newborn and Stacy’s agreed to fly to Arizona to introduce her lovely new daughter to them, but as the date of the flight approached the anxiety built up, the regret for agreeing settled in. Now, she must make a choice.

In Stacy’s mind a film replays the solution for the same problem the last time it came up, ten years ago. She drowned little baby Liz with the excuse that she got into the tub and filled it on her own. The police always sides with the mother...

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Come At Me

...word smith
Crafting a steel sentence
With sharp edges
To cut heads and wreck shit
Reckless

The harps are played
By deranged angels
Estranged from heaven
After strange events led
To sketchy circumstances
In my bed

Words with guns
Hunt for fun
Someone’ll end up dead
Someone better run

The pen pops
Like a shotgun
Everyone flies, gone
Leaving a mark
Plunging a fool into darkness
That’s you when I’m done with this

I play around in my thoughts
Pump out bars that are scorching...

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