Rambling 296: Godzilla: The True Story

Rambling 296: Godzilla: The True Story

In the latest episode of our podcast, we dive deep into the world of Godzilla and the myriad of conspiracy theories that surround him. The conversation begins with a playful exploration of how people might react if a creature like Godzilla were to emerge in reality. Would conspiracy theorists claim it was a hidden truth all along? Would the government be implicated in its creation or containment? Jack and Cristina's banter is both humorous and thought-provoking as they dissect the origins of Godzilla. They ponder whether the creature could be a result of nuclear testing or a prehistoric beast awakened by human interference. The discussion takes an intriguing turn as they connect Godzilla's lore to real-world events, particularly the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The duo raises compelling questions about the government's role in these narratives. Why would they hide such a creature? Are they preparing us for something far more sinister? The episode touches on themes of fear and control, suggesting that perhaps the government uses these stories to desensitize the public to real threats. Listeners will appreciate the seamless blend of pop culture references, scientific speculation, and cultural commentary. The conversation is not just about Godzilla; it serves as a lens through which we can examine our relationship with fear, authority, and the unknown. As the episode unfolds, Jack and Cristina challenge each other to think critically about the implications of releasing such a creature into the world. They explore the idea that Godzilla could be a metaphor for humanity's own destructive tendencies and the lengths governments might go to in order to maintain control. This episode is a must-listen for anyone intrigued by the intersection of mythology, science fiction, and reality. Join us as we unpack these absurd yet captivating ideas and consider the possibility that Godzilla might just be more than a fictional monster. Tune in now and prepare to have your mind blown!

+Episode Details

  • How did it get so big?
  • Are its powers scientific?
  • Was it created or discovered?
  • Is it in the wild or kept under control?
  • Are there others?
  • How do we know about it?

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+Transcript

Rambling 296: Godzilla: The True Story Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised. Jack: Going live in 5, 4. Cristina: What does live mean? Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I'm your host, Jack. Cristina: And I'm your host, Cristina. Jack: And this is the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. And today, I thought it would be really cool if we looked at something that happened recently and unpacked how the world has reacted in response to these things that have occurred to Godzilla. Godzilla. I mean, I guess I wonder how people would react to Godzilla. I know there would be people who would be like, wow, it was based on truth. Instantly, a bunch of conspiracy theorists are gonna say, we were right all along. And the elites always put the truth in front of you because they have to tell you for whatever deal they made with something. Cristina: If it's part of conspiracy, then did they. Did the government, the world government, or whatever make Godzilla interesting? Jack: Or Godzilla could be a demon, a deity of some sort. God. God is in the name. Somebody's gonna put that connection together. Cristina: He's a God that was hidden, but someone knew about him. So did the government hide him until he broke loose or until the government was like, you know, the world government was like, okay, these people are out of control. We gotta let this guy loose. Jack: You think? Okay, okay, let's go back. You think the government made Godzilla? Cristina: No, I'm not saying they made him, but if they kept him a secret, then they probably have him locked up. Jack: Yes. Yes. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. So the premise here is ultimately right. We're gonna fix this. This is gonna make a lot of sense. The premise here is two things. Regardless of how Godzilla is real and two, actually, three concepts that need to work here. Godzilla is real. And we're gonna prove this somehow. Cristina: Sure. Jack: And two, the government somehow knew. Somehow, somehow. Cristina: Whether they kept it or they just knew where he was or something. Jack: And three, that's because we only know about Godzilla to begin with. Because the government always has to tell us whatever they're doing, even if in secrecy. So they have to put it in front of us somehow. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Because the elites have to show us they made a deal with something. As we know is whatever theory. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And they have to show you. They got to tell you what they're doing, so they'll do it in cryptic ways so you don't know, but you know, or whatever. Cristina: I don't get it. I think it's so you can be used to it, so that when it happens, you're not as scared. Except the point of showing it is to scare you. Like, I don't. I don't know. So, like, they show it to you so that you. When it does happen, you're not too freaked out about it. Because they don't want you to kill yourself. Because at the end of the day, they still need you alive. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: For whatever their evil plan is. They just need you to know that it was possible. And then when it's possible when it's there, then. Jack: But I don't know why they would want you to know about Godzilla. Cristina: Why would they? They want us to know about everything. Aliens? Jack: Yeah. That's why. I think it's not that they're trying to descend. I think those people are wrong. If. If our three things are to be true, then they don't want us to know about Godzilla because they're unleashing Godzilla to kill us. Cristina: No. Jack: To do what? Why? Why would. Okay, let's. Let's work on one of these problems at a time. Cristina: Okay? Jack: Why are they. Cristina: Who. Jack: Somehow the theory that you're going with is they're trapping Godzilla. Godzilla? Maybe they could have made Godzilla, but Godzilla could have existed beforehand. Cristina: Yes. Jack: So it could happen either way. Maybe it was an accident. It could be that the story they told us about Godzilla was accurate. Cristina: It's just a natural thing that happened out from radiation hitting a lizard or something. From their bombs. Jack: Is that the initial story? Cristina: Something like that. Like they. We bombed Japan and then Godzilla was made. No. Jack: Okay, okay, okay, hold on. Let's. Let's f******. Without looking it up first, let's. Let's make our assumption. Okay, so you think war. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And nuclear waste. 00:05:00 Cristina: Yes. And then lizard and nuclear waste equals Godzilla. Jack: Okay, okay. I think cautionary tale. Power plant or chemical waste plant or something. Cristina: Yeah. And a lizard. Jack: Yeah. Wait, but you're saying war? Cristina: Well, it could be either or. Jack: Okay, you're just saying chemical. Cristina: Chemicals. A lizard, Godzilla. Jack: Chemicals. A lizard Godzilla. I agree. I think. I think it's a cautionary term. Cristina: Chemicals. I think it's bit a lizard and made Godzilla. Jack: Chemicals. Bit a lizard. Cristina: It's like Spider Man. Jack: Okay, fair enough. Kind of like the Ninja Turtles. Cristina: Yes. Jack: I mean, to be fair, that story. Cristina: The Ninja Turtles of whatever that story. Jack: Is about four N4 turtles that got bit by a radioactive rat, Right? Cristina: I don't know. Jack: And didn't he find them already mutated and turned into. No, they were just turtles. Cristina: Turtles. And you're saying he made them? The rat, the rat made them? Is he the villain? I don't think so. I think he found Them? No, the bad guy probably made them by accident. Doing weird experiment things. Jack: I bet. I bet it's some crap like that. Cristina: Experiments or an accident. Jack: No, I think. Yeah, it would probably have been like. And then he was trying the. His quest in life was to stop what he. The problem he created. So he spent his whole life trying to fix the issue of four mutant rats. I mean, turtles and a. I don't know. Maybe he made the rat too. They knew each other or something. Wasn't Master Splinter his master? Cristina: And he's just a dude. It's just a regular human dude against some wild animals. Jack: Any train. Cristina: And he's bad. Jack: Well, I don't know. I think I could be wrong. I don't know why. This is the memory, and I'm not gonna look it up. We're never gonna find out, okay? Because I've never seen the Ninja Turtles. I've read so little about the Ninja Turtles. I think, like, I literally don't even know how they became. Cristina: Like. Jack: I'm assuming it's waste if my memory says waste to some degree. Right? Cristina: Yeah. Jack: I think the rat knew martial arts because the guy taught it. But as you have brought up the question, did this guy teach a normal rat martial arts and that rat then went off into the world and became a mutant freak? Or did this guy make or find a mutant rat? Cristina: I can't believe he actually. No, I don't think he has to do anything with them. That can't be part of the story. It doesn't make sense. Jack: Then how the h*** did. He's a good guy. It doesn't matter what the h*** we're looking at. This guy is probably trying to just stop these weird animal freaks. Does he have targets? Does he harm people? Cristina: I think he's a criminal. Jack: Oh, he's a criminal. Cristina: I'm pretty sure he's doing crime. Jack: Are they superheroes? Cristina: I think so. Because I feel like the girl that's involved is also, like, a journalist or something. Jack: Holy s***. Are they Spider Man? Cristina: Yes. They're just like Superman. Jack: Are they super strong? Don't they have to, like, know martial arts? They gotta combat these guys one to one. They're not like one shotting everybody. Cristina: But they're. It's hard to hurt them. They're turtles, I guess. They have the highest defense. They might not be the fastest or strongest, but they're defense man. Jack: In a world where other creatures also mutated in a similar fashion. If we said they all approximated to about the same size, why would that happen? I don't Know even why the turtles began with. Okay, the least defensive thing Would probably be a standing turtle. Cristina: Well, maybe they can do stuff with their shells. I don't know. Jack: How could they see you if the only way for that defense to be high up, and you'd still have six points that you can be poked or stabbed or killed through? Yeah, you're just upping your defense. It's not perfect. Cristina: You think it. They're less defensive, though? Jack: I don't think they're less offensive. I think they're just lame. Cristina: They are pretty lame. Yeah. Jack: Yeah, yeah. In fact, we would have to increase the size of these turtles to make everybody the size of the biggest already existing. So the elephant is the only creature that wouldn't increase in size. All the other creatures would. 00:10:00 Jack: Except giraffe. We'll see the elephant, the giraffe. That's where we cap off. They don't change. Everything below them must increase in size to be at least the height of the elephant. If the turtles went up. Cristina: Yes, because they're like godzilla, who was a little lizard. Because it was smaller than them. Probably. Jack: Yes. But their soft spot is going to be larger. Yes. Cristina: Their soft spot. Jack: Yeah. The flat, the six points where the head goes in, where the two front and back legs going, and where the tail goes in, which is actually not different holes. Usually you have two large slits which are where their arms, the top arm, the top legs, and their head are. And then where their tail and back and hind legs are. Those are the two exits. So those two soft spots, as the turtle gets larger Would then be more vulnerable and be a larger target for the opponents. And if they're hiding, to remove their head, arms, and legs. Cristina: I don't know why they pick turtles. I don't know. It makes no sense. Jack: Yeah. They couldn't see you. Cristina: I thought they picked something cooler. Jack: They couldn't see you. Cristina: Turtles was cool. And then they gave them the attitude of spider man. I'm imagining that they came out around the same time on spider man because they have that boyish attitude that spider man has. But there's what, four or five of them? Jack: Say that again. Cristina: That they have the same attitude that spider man has. Jack: Yeah, they're broad out and, like making jokes. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Except the angry red one. Cristina: Huh? Jack: He doesn't make jokes. Right. He's serious. Cristina: I don't know. There's an angry ninja turtle. Jack: I thought there was an angry red one. Cristina: I don't. I don't know. Jack: I know. Hold on. Let me see. Cristina: I don't even know if there's four or five of them. I don't even know the number of turtles. Jack: I think there's four turtles and a girl turtle. Four dude turtles. Cristina: Girl turtle. Jack: There's a dudette turtle. Cristina: There's not a dudette turtle. There's a girl, but she's not a turtle. Jack: No, there's a girl. Cristina: There's not a girl turtle. Jack: I promise you there's a girl. Cristina: She must have came out way later because the original turtles are. No. Are just boy turtles. Jack: No. I mean, yeah, sure, but there's a girl turtle. No, there is a hundred percent a girl turtle. Cristina: When did they introduce a girl turtle? It makes no sense. Jack: I think pretty early. Cristina: Are you positive? Jack: I guarantee you there is a girl. Cristina: But she's not a turtle. She's a human. Jack: There's a female ninja turtle. I swear to God. No. Cristina: What does that mean? Jack: She got turtle b****. Cristina: That's exactly what I was picturing. But no, there's not ninja turtle. No. Jack: In turn, she's blue. Girl turtle. Cristina: But that's just a made up turtle. Jack: She's blue and light. She's light. Cristina: She's not one of them. They just turned one of their turtles into a female turtle. Jack: No, they got blue. They got b****. Cristina: No, look, there's a. That's him. Jack: No, no. Cristina: Yes, there is that guy. They just changed his sex, but he still. No, there's no female ninja turtle. Jack: What is her name? Cristina: I don't know. Jack: There you go. Cristina: Ew. Jack: Yeah, there's just a chick that's lighter blue. Cristina: When did she. But she's not part of the original Ninja turtles. Jack: You probably not. I don't. Sure you could tell. I'll go with that. I have no idea. Cristina: I just know they don't look like teens anymore. I don't know what they're supposed to be. Now you see that girl? She's the girl. And she's just a human in the yellow suit. Jack: That's the reporter. Cristina: Yeah, I think something like that. Jack: There's just an extra turtle here who isn't even a chick. Cristina: I don't know what's happening. Jack: Yeah, but you get the point. Cristina: No, I don't. What was the point? That they. Jack: There's a female turtle. Cristina: The turtles. Originally there's like four turtles, now there's. Jack: Five and there's a chick. And I think it's been like that since like the second iteration. Cristina: No, he's like. Even the newest projects, you don't see the girl turtle. Jack: Oh, fair enough. Maybe they just don't like. Maybe sexism is alive. Cristina: Maybe. Jack: Okay, There are three scenarios here that are depicted in films that we can use to try to understand Godzilla right now. Cristina: Okay. Jack: One, nuclear testing. You were right. My specifics on it being a power plant was wrong. 00:15:00 Jack: But it wasn't war, it was for war. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It was just test site, probably some random a** island in the middle of nowhere, but had wildlife. Biology suggests in other films that it was a prehistoric kind of dinosaur. Cristina: I don't understand. Jack: So upon the discovery of this dinosaur that was somehow living underwater, is it. Cristina: Like that movie where they found King Kong in the center of the world? Jack: Kind of, yeah. Cristina: Like she's just sleeping in the center of the world and somehow she pops out here. Or he. She. I don't know what Godzilla is. Jack: Well, she. I think she's neither. Cristina: Okay, Well, I think she's like a. Jack: Frog could just, you know, asexually reproduce. Cristina: But Godzilla was down there. Jack: Yeah. Or just sleeping at the bottom of the ocean or something like Nessie. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And so, yeah, that's the other idea. Cristina: And there's a third one. Jack: The third one is essentially a hybrid logic where there was this maybe unknown reptile that was exposed to some chemical waste and that. So it's sort of both things. It had a unique chemistry that then allowed it to become. Cristina: I'm not sure what you tried to say. Jack: There are other lizards and other things in the same water with the same lizard that then became Godzilla. Godzilla was either amongst the species that it was the last of, or it had wandered off into a different eg area and reached the radiation. And its unique DNA had its reaction to the exposure to be turning into this large thing and nothing else did. Because the logic would be why would radiation turn this one lizard huge and not all the others, which is legit? Cristina: I don't know. Because like, if he's real, then what stops all the other things that they are showing us to be real? Jack: Legit. So assuming that Godzilla is a self contained situation, then we can write off the nuclear test site is wrong. And it's probably some kind of creature that has existed for a long time. Meaning the government found it. Cristina: Okay. Jack: They didn't make it. They saw this thing. Who knows how long it's been hidden or caught. But the government has it. We don't know when or why. We just know that they have it. Cristina: Okay, solved. Jack: They caught some sort of ancient creature. Cristina: That's what they do. Jack: Yes. Okay, now how do they know its capabilities? Cristina: They gotta experiment on it like they do. Jack: But how? Where? I guess we, no matter what, we can make a Space large enough. If we have enough funds, it doesn't matter. Cristina: Yeah, maybe it's where we say the aliens are. What's that spot? Area 52. Area? Jack: Yeah, giant location where it could fire whatever beam into nowhere. Cristina: They're experimenting on it. That's how they make their flying ships. They're not using alien technology. They're using an alien like creature. I guess. Jack: Fair enough. And its energy beam is what taught us about lasers and s***. Cristina: Yep, yep, yep. Jack: Interesting. Okay, so then now the question is, why would they release it? To do what? Cristina: To get us not to not. It's confusing because it has to do with Jesus coming back to life and the rapture. But it's like the government is against Jesus. So I don't know. I try to understand these conspiracies, but it's always something like this. Jack: Okay, well, assuming the whole Jesus thing is wrong and the rapture isn't gonna happen, grounding this in the re. In being as real as possible, what are some reasons the government might release Godzilla? Like, what's a real concern that they would be like, oh, get the people in check. I mean, maybe think about it. Think about it. We got conspiracy project 100% to fight the aliens. No, if some government. That's probably why they show us this movie specifically. Right. It's like, oh, we found this creature is one movie. But hey, he helps us from time to time. Cristina: Yeah, Godzilla sometimes not that bad. Jack: I bet they've always been working on mind control technology in order to figure it out for Godzilla. Maybe. Maybe it's not a creature they can control. So they maintain it tied and sedated because it's like, dude, this dinosaur 00:20:00 Jack: is bigger than most of our mega structures. Cristina: Yes. Like, why are they gonna. It's not to attack us. Like, they don't need a giant lizard, dude. Jack: Also, the size depiction of Godzilla tells us that maybe Godzilla has been around and we've seen it throughout time. Because think about the different scales. Sometimes it's just the right size to fight King Kong, and King Kong is so small, it had to climb to the top of the Empire State Building. Cristina: Yeah, he's not that. Jack: He's not that big. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Other times, Godzilla is so tremendously f****** large that it is the height of the Empire State Building. Cristina: So what are we. What are we saying? It's actual sizes? Then I think maybe the child, if there's children version is the size of King Kong. Jack: And really the adult is what we're holding back. That's the. When we're talking about, we let Some creature out to protect Earth. That's what we're talking about. We're talking about that really big one we're hoping the guy we can control at some point. Because we're going to need it for when the big s*** comes to. When the meteor is almost here. Shoot a beam into the sky. Cristina: Could be okay to stop the, you. Jack: Know, aliens are coming. Start attacking. Fire all you've got. Cristina: You don't think it's like a government thing? Like, they know the other. Every country has their own Godzilla thing. And they're like, okay, if someone releases their Godzilla, then you got the. You got to press the button to release our Godzilla. Kind of like the nuclear crisis, except with monsters. Jack: Then. Then America doesn't have Godzilla. Cristina: Why not? Jack: Because Godzilla's Japanese, Right? Cristina: I don't know. Because I think it comes from us doing the experiment with radiation. Them seeing what we're doing. That created the fear. Jack: But they caught the creature. It's their creature. It was over there. Cristina: So. Or maybe we're attacking them with it. Jack: I have a theory that works with a lot of the world. Godzilla is Japanese, and we have our own creature. Theirs was our fault. Cristina: Okay? Jack: Ours was our intention. Cristina: Oh, what is ours? Jack: I don't know. What creature do we talk about in any manner, shape or form that makes absolute sense as an equivalent to Godzilla? Cristina: I don't know. Jack: Was King Kong our creation? Cristina: I think so. Jack: We have a giant ape somewhere. Cristina: Somewhere does not really compare to Godzilla. Jack: But no, we went to Jurassic Park. We went to. Yes, we went. Yes, we went to Brazil and found King Kong. Right. Cristina: I don't know. Jack: We went to some random jungle out in a different country. It wasn't over here. No, we didn't capture King Kong and bring him over here. We went back to King Kong. Cristina: I know. Jack: We did capture King Kong at some point. That's how he got to the Empire State Building. Cristina: Yes, we captured him from the island he was at. Jack: Yes. But that's the story of how that went wrong. Okay, so is Jurassic Park. Yes, but I think you're right. I think we were like, we can do bigger and better, and we could do it with nothing but money. Cristina: Yeah. So we made not just one many. Jack: We got all of them. We got hella creatures bigger and badder than all your creatures. Cristina: I don't know if any of them compare to Godzilla. Yeah. If you look at the biggest dinosaur and put it next to Godzilla, is it competing? But even if it was competing in size, like, it doesn't have the ability to. Jack: Yes, Godzilla. Some other That's. Cristina: Even if Godzilla was smaller in size, does it matter if it shoots out beams? Jack: Yeah, it's like a pure energy. Like it'll cut, it'll. Cristina: It's. Jack: It's a lightsaber. Cristina: Yes. Like it doesn't matter what we have. No matter how large it is, there's no winning. Jack: I know. You know, like, I don't think it's gonna be. Man, that. That would be nuts. Cristina: You're looking up. Let me see, let me see. Jack: The largest dinosaur was about 85ft long and potentially as tall as a three story building at most. Cristina: And what is Godzilla size? Jack: Yeah. Now the question is, what was at its largest? Cristina: There's many, so. Yeah. Jack: Yeah, straight up. It varies from film to film, but the largest is 00:25:00 Jack: is 350ft. How tall is the Empire State Building? Nah, nah, nah, nah. So this creature was around tall buildings, but it wasn't the size of the Empire State Building. The Empire State Building ain't a joke. Godzilla's tallest size was 350ft. The Empire State Building is a hundred and fourteen fifty four feet. Cristina: Okay. And what was the tallest dinosaur? Jack: The tallest dinosaur was roughly half the size of Godzilla. With our estimate being that the possible for the largest dinosaur was roughly 122ft. But the largest we've seen that we believe can get to that size at its highest point was 85. So Godzilla will s*** on anything. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Anything. How big was the biggest King Kong? Cristina: I still don't think it's gonna compete. Jack: King Kong stands at approximately 104ft. Cristina: That's kind of whack. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: I don't understand. Jack: Biggest Godzilla is three and a half times bigger. Cristina: Yeah. That's ridiculous. Jack: Yeah. He would stop this. Cristina: He's huge and he's got powers. Who is. Who is fighting Japan if this was Japan's creature? Jack: I don't know. Cristina: That's why it has. It can't be. Jack: No. That's why we made so many investments. That's why we made so many. We're compensating. Cristina: I think Godzilla is our creature. And whenever we're not happy with Japan, we release it on Japan. Jack: Oh, s***. Maybe there wasn't a nuke. Maybe we were testing, ended up with this thing and sent that out. Cristina: Yes. And that's why they fear us and it. Because it. It's the same thing. It's us. We are their nightmare. We are Godzilla. Jack: Interesting point. So then the question is, when was the first Godzilla movie and when do we drop the bomb? Cristina: Oh, I bet that the bomb came first. I'm betting I'm betting. Jack: You think the. The bombs hit first? Cristina: Yes. If not, then at least when we started testing had to come first. Jack: Okay. Okay. We found something strange here. The first Godzilla movie. Go, Jira. Literally, the name, how you're supposed to say it, it's like in quotation marks here. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Came out on November 3, 1954. Cristina: What are you saying? Like, it happened a day later or something. Jack: Hiroshima. Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Jack: Was dropped on August 6, 1945. That was 10 years before the 11 years earlier. No, nine years back. That's nine years back. So the bombs got dropped first? Cristina: Yes. And then shortly after they make a movie. Jack: Shortly after they make a movie. Cristina: Yeah, yeah. Jack: And the area was supposed to be radiated for really exaggeratedly long time. That's wrong, though. So now it's common knowledge that, no, it's gonna be livable eventually. Cristina: So you're questioning if it was actually what we said it was? Jack: Yeah. Was Godzilla really released into. Cristina: Yes. What? I don't know. Jack: You think that'd be crazy? Cristina: No. Jack: What if we really. What if? Cristina: Really? Jack: What happened is the United States released Godzilla as a warning. But then the question is, how far apart were these? No, they were three days apart. Cristina: What was three days apart? Jack: Hiroshima. We dropped the bomb on August 6, 1945, and just erased that in Nagasaki was August 9 where we dropped it. This was three days later. There is only one possibility. If what you're talking about is the case, we have more than one. And that's why there are different sizes. The fat quote, Fat man bomb was the big one. Because the first one we let go was called the Little Boy. And the little boy could just be the small 00:30:00 Jack: Godzilla. Cristina: Yeah. And because these maybe are scientific experiments, like, maybe once they do their damage, they die. Like, maybe not leave them. They don't actually live, though. Jack: Oh, like they're gonna be. Like, they're gonna die quickly. Cristina: Yeah, they die quickly. Because they're not really. They're. They're radiated. They're. They're. They're animals, but they're not. Like, why would a radiated animal and all these stories, they stay alive and healthy and everything. Like, that's not true. They die immediately. Wouldn't they? Jack: All the other creatures. Cristina: Any creature. Jack: You mean the Godzilla? Cristina: Yes, the Godzilla. Like, any radiator. Jack: How did we get it to that size if it's gonna die quickly? It would have died long before it. Cristina: Reached that size because we hadn't had it woken up. Maybe. Maybe. Jack: We're finding these creatures, right? We're trapped. We're capturing them. Or we're making them. Did we make Godzilla? No, because we found them. We found them. This is a fact. We found these creatures. Cristina: Yes, but maybe we found their eggs and then we still have. Jack: They still have to grow naturally. Right. Because it's. We've established some creatures, a dinosaur. Cristina: Okay. Maybe they just diabetely out of their environment, Their natural environment. Jack: But they'll be right next to the water. Isn't it from the water that we're getting them? Cristina: No. From somewhere super duper radiated. Jack: No, because they're just. Unless we found somewhere naturally radiated on the planet. Cristina: Yeah, maybe because it's an ancient creature that happens to go into a radiated area that creates the Godzilla. Jack: So the argument is there's a lizard that hangs out in a raid. There's a spot naturally on earth that's always radiated. Cristina: Yes. Or that we turned it into radiated and just. Jack: No, these are dinosaurs. Cristina: These are dinosaurs. Jack: These are dinosaurs. We've established that. That the government had nothing to do with it. Cristina: No. Yes. Jack: So we must be finding these. Cristina: Yes. Jack: There must be somewhere on earth that's naturally radiated. Cristina: Okay, yeah, maybe. Jack: Or are we just finding dinosaurs? There's some kind of unique nessie like creature, basically. Right. But why can it shoot a beam from its mouth? We gotta justify that. That's the radiation we had justified size. I guess more ancient dinosaurs than the dinosaurs were used. So that's really what's happening. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And because of that it was de down. And because of that, like it hibernates deeper down in the planet. Cristina: But we can hear it through Russia because they have that giant hole in the ground that makes really spooky sounds. Maybe it's just the dinosaurs. Jack: Maybe they don't sleep underground. Cristina: What? Jack: Maybe they sleep and live underground. And this is one of many. And they're always down there. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And what we hear through the hole. Cristina: Is that they're just. They live down there and it's radiated. Jack: And then we find. No, they don't even have to be radiated. The size, it just works different down there. Cristina: Okay. It's not radiation. Jack: Yeah. But they. They live around lava and immense pressure. Cristina: So maybe where does the beams come from? Jack: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's kind of like they're doing something through the. They learn, they evolve naturally. Being able to do a combination of something with air the way that that crab underwater does that make a small explosion. Cristina: Seriously, it's just. It's. There's some scientific reason. Jack: Scientific reason why it can shoot out lasers. Yeah. If we think about like a way to first create an air funnel. Maybe you have some sort of internal system that works like gills but for oxygen. So that you can open and suck in air from one side as you're simultaneously pumping the air out through a more narrow air. Cristina: So radiation has nothing to do with it? No, that's just the story Japan believes because of what we said we were doing. Yes, they put the scientific experiment to it. That's part of the story because that's the story they were told. But we're just lying. Jack: Or you're right and it is radiation. But then it happened by accident. Yes, and. But no, it wouldn't make sense. How did this creature so immediately after. Cristina: They'Re attacking die? Jack: I mean there's a ten year period. Well, we'll say the nine year period. We'll say a movie started being made a year after the events at earliest and the movie got put out a year later. So two year gap. So two years before it would have had to happen. So there would have been only seven years for that lizard to go from as small as it was to as big as it was. It wouldn't happen. The only way would be if this thing was growing for infinities. Cristina: Yes, it already has to be that big. Jack: It already had to be that big for many, many, many, many year. Hundreds of years maybe. Cristina: So they found it. They found it 00:35:00 Cristina: and then it died. Jack: Yeah. So it's from the center of the earth. It comes out here and whatever trick it could do. But again. Okay, wait, we're trying to figure out this trick. Right? So it has some gill like system. It should in theory be able to open some thing to pull in air and have a different where it's shooting the fire from. Should have some kind of like narrower airway so that if you're pulling in twice the amount of air then you have some sort of a pump and you could shoot out the air continuously. Then that's solid. You could. Cristina: You somehow makes lasers. The air turns and say lasers. Jack: Well, the laser wouldn't exactly be a laser. Maybe that's just a weird depiction and it's not like a lightsaber. Maybe it's more like fire. Cristina: Okay. Like a dragon. Jack: Like a dragon. And so it's breathing this in and kind of like a venomous snake that can spit out this kind of thing onto you or something like that. Maybe. Cristina: Why wasn't Godzilla just a story about a dragon? Because we have so many dragon stories. Why wasn't this just a different dragon story? Jack: Maybe the Japanese don't Have fire breathing dragons? Maybe we have fire breathing dragons. Maybe that's a western thing. Cristina: Japan, I mean, China didn't have dragon that breath fire. Jack: I don't know. I have no idea. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Why you think it was What? Cristina: I don't know. Because like, wouldn't they just say it's a dragon that's attacking us and not some scientific experiment attacking us? Jack: Well, they think it happened after the bombs. Here would be the theory. Right. Grounding this a little farther. We dropped the bombs. Cristina: I thought they were the bombs that we dropped. Jack: Well, this is me adjusting. Okay, we dropped the bombs. No, they have to be the bombs. Yeah, but assuming I'm wrong, we dropped the bombs and the bomb woke the thing up. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It's the only time we've ever dropped these bombs. Ever. It's the only time nukes have been used on these areas that aren't just abandoned islands in the middle of nowhere, deserts that are uninhabited. We're dropping it where there's people and foliage. Cristina: I woke this ancient dinosaur up, and. Jack: It woke this ancient dinosaur up. Cristina: Okay. Jack: That could be why they, like, the bombs dropped. Then the thing happened. So that the. The whole story about the bombs. I bet Godzilla did not attack either one of those two places. What place in Japan did Godzilla attack? Tokyo. Cristina: Tokyo. Okay, that's random. Jack: I guess because it was like a real super mega area. We were just attacking normal civilian areas that had a base, I guess for control, it was military related, trying to calm them down or whatever the h*** we were trying to do. Tokyo? Yeah. So that takes place in Tokyo. So that's a possibility. One of two scenarios explains the attack of Godzilla on Tokyo. Either we dropped two bombs and woke something up. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Or these bombs were the lizards and they wandered off. Cristina: That could also be it. That means. Yeah, I don't know. Because like if we did wake up a lizard up, there was just one lizard. Jack: Maybe not. Maybe there was a bunch of lizards. Or maybe we knocked something down underground that allowed one of these already existing creatures from underneath. But we can go back to the original concept that they. That we, the United States, found a way to go down there and get these creatures that have always been down there. Because we do hear something when we hear down. No matter what, these creatures are underground. How we acquired them is now the question. We found out where they are. Cristina: They're underground. Jack: They're underground. Did they originally pop up in Japan? Or did we go get them probably through that hole in Russia, and then keep them? But how do we transport the biggest one? Cristina: Yes. Jack: Problem. We should have a base where we're finding them. Cristina: Alaska. Jack: Alaska is probably a really good place. There's a bunch of rural places out here. 51. 100. Yeah. Cristina: Area 51. Jack: Yeah. Just holes that go deep. And we just have access to pulling these things up and keeping them around the hole so we can throw them right back down if we don't need it. How are we going to dispose of this s***? Cristina: Yeah. Jack: You know, because we tried. Maybe we tried to dispose of some that went wrong. And that's why we have stories of some coming out of the water. Cristina: Okay. You know, 00:40:00 Cristina: and then still, like, any alien story could be pointed to this creature because it could be more than one creature that's down there. Like, they don't all have to look the same. Jack: Yeah. What are they eating if they all look the same? Cristina: Yeah. So, like, if they're like. If they're dinosaur like, I guess, which is very lizard like, so very alien like. Jack: Yeah. And it's definitely. There's lava if they go deep enough. But I don't think they're so deep. I think they're just deep enough that they don't normally get to us or ever. And water must be down there, too. They're ocean levels. Deep, deeper. Slightly deeper. They're slightly deeper. They're in the gaps of air underneath the ocean. And then we found ways. And we tell people, the normal civilians don't have access to the technology that can take us so deep to withstand that level of pressure. But the government's never going to tell us that it does. And it can easily get down there and it can access these creatures and get to them. Cristina: And then what? Just attack countries with them? Jack: But then this. Yeah. Like you said, one country has King Kong, one country has Godzilla. One country has this thing. One country has that thing. One country found it, used it. Other countries found out about it and figured out how to get more. So chances are we have maybe different countries have different size Godzillas. I got a really old Godzilla that's the size of this. Cristina: Okay. All those different ideas. Jack: I got a really huge moth. Cristina: Huge moth is Russian thing that they attack us with. Jack: Yeah. You know, anybody can have anything and they could be getting it from the same place. You just gotta have the technology to go get it and the ability to. Cristina: Restrain it, which I don't know if anyone does have that, though. I don't know. Jack: Then how do we stop the ones that were. We. We. Cristina: I think you can still kill them. I think killing them isn't like a hard thing to do. It's just like hiding the body and then making up stories to what actually happened. Jack: So you have to be able to control it. You can't just kill it. You got to kill it in the water. Cristina: Yeah. You have to kill it in a way that hide. Like, you gotta. You still have to, like. Jack: Fair enough. So then perhaps still like every alien. Cristina: Story where the government came by, asked a bunch of questions, told a lie about what actually happened, and like, I have a theory. Yeah. What? Jack: Maybe it was one. Cristina: Was one what? Jack: The first one caused small destruction as compared to the second one, the one that caused great destruction. They were both powerful. But what if the first one was Godzilla doing it? Little boy was Godzilla. Cristina: And the second one was to kill Godzilla. Jack: Was the. Kill Godzilla. The bomb. Cristina: Okay. Jack: What Godzilla was doing. We're testing it. We're seeing if Godzilla works. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And then it kept wandering, and we're like, how do we control it? Okay, here we go. Well, it worked. Gone. No proof. Cristina: Mmm. Jack: Two part system. It'll keep destroying more than a nuke can if you just let it keep going. Yes, they tested that on the first one. It'll do. Nuke levels of destruction. And until we decide to stop it, it'll keep going. Cristina: Mm. Jack: Can we stop it? Well, let's find out. Here we go. Boom. Cristina: Okay. Yeah. They have to get rid of it. Jack: They have to get rid of it. Maybe the government has the ability to drop things like this at random. Cristina: Crazy. And it's all the governments. Jack: Then many, many, many governments have the ability to drop some colossal creature onto other governments, onto other countries. Cristina: Yeah, to just attack. Jack: Or maybe not. Maybe it's just a few. Depends who has stories of disability. We're the only people who are like, oh, no, we can't. We control it. It's our thing. We call on that show, we want it. Of course we use it. In the middle of the ocean, nowhere, where nobody knows where the h*** people are. Like, oh, how did the Americans shoot down that boat all the way over there? And it's like, we don't need to. Cristina: Know, but we're still. We're still lying about what it's happening. Jack: Yeah, I bet. If we can't control it. No, man, that's a question, right? How do we. We don't have mind control. We're still trying to figure it out. Yeah, if we could control something that big, we'd be controlling humans long since. Cristina: But there's no way we can. Jack: There's no way we can. So we're not using it casually. That has to be Wrong. We're definitely lying about what happened. But I'm pretty sure we dropped a thing that caused nuke sized damage. Cristina: And then we used the nuke. Jack: And we used the 00:45:00 Jack: nuke to see if that could stop it. Now there's no proof that it ever existed. It's gone. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Evaporated the bones into nothing. Cristina: That could be it. Huh? Jack: Simple. Although I think bones would survive a nuke. They would just be crispy. I have no idea. Maybe if you're close enough, you get disintegrated into powder. Cristina: But like, even if you find the bones, am I still dinosaur bones? I don't know. Jack: Yeah, and that's why the wood. That's my point. Like, it would have to be at a point that it gets incinerated, Right? That's the only way that you have zero. Cristina: Zero proof. Jack: Zero proof. Okay. No, the bones would totally disappear. Cristina: So. Jack: Interesting. If this says the bones of a person would disappear, then the question is to go directly and do the size. How big would a bone have to. Cristina: Be to not disappear? Jack: To not disappear. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Okay. All right. So let's do some breakdowns here. Humans would get eviscerated into nothingness and cease to exist. See, even their bones, which are our thickest, densest part, Godzilla's bones. To scale appropriately to its size, maintain its weight, and be logical according to how gravity and whatnot works, it would be about 20 times thicker than a human bones. Cristina: It's pretty thick. Jack: Yes. Even then, at ground zero, it would be so obliterated into nothingness, vaporize into beyond dust, that there would be no evidence it ever existed. Well, a nuke would erase the existence of such a creature at ground zero impact, you make it the target. Boom. Gone. There's no evidence it ever existed. Cristina: So we could have released Godzilla onto Japan and then murdered the Godzilla that we made? Jack: Yes. We didn't make Godzilla. Cristina: Oh yeah, we freed Godzilla, released Godzilla out to Japan, then killed it. Then they made a movie about it. Jack: Yes. Yes. The argument would be that we dropped a Godzilla on Hiroshima on August 9, 1945. And three days later, in Nagasaki in August 9 on 1945, we dropped a nuke to get rid of it, testing our entire scenario. And it worked. And nobody has f***** with us since? Cristina: I guess so. Except everyone keeps making bombs. Jack: Yes. Because they know how to stop it. Cristina: Yes, I guess so. Because they saw that we were able to stop it. Jack: Interesting. Fascinating. Cristina: So all of those bombs are not Nobody's using? Jack: Nope, nobody's Just a single one. Cristina: And also, it's just too Many. Why would you need that? More than one. They're probably country. Jack: Yeah. These are probably controlled nukes to create small blast areas with the same intense energy in the small area. So if you have a lot, you're not causing widespread destruction. Nobody has shot a nuke at anybody anymore. We're waiting. Cristina: For what? For these monsters pop up. Jack: Yes. And we're efficientizing them. We're always making it more efficient. Knowing somebody might have one of these. Cristina: Things, someone might release one. That's the real danger. Jack: Interesting. Cristina: Whoa. That's so crazy. Because we have the most nukes, but we're the one with the obvious amount of creatures. Most likely, too. Jack: Well, we're not. Cristina: I think we are. Jack: We have so many. Oh, so we're just like you guys. Couldn't release one on us for any reason. We'll drop a nuke instantly. Cristina: I think we also are protecting ourselves from our own monsters. Jack: Our monsters. Their release of their monsters on us. Well, now, here's something interesting. We would be screwed in an attack. Because we're thinking a couple of episodes ago, we're doing where would we get attacked through, right? And like, if. What would we do in a scenario like that? We didn't consider something like this. But if something like this were to happen, the most likely location to drop it off would be in the ocean and let it come to us. So they don't have to put themselves in danger. So they would just get close, but they wouldn't hover over our airspace. We drop it in the ocean near us, and it would find land in our direction. Coasts would be f***** up. The coasts are the way in for whatever creatures dropped in the water near us and for land. Cristina: But why are we dropping creatures in the water? Jack: War. What if we're invading the United States? Cristina: We, The United States? Jack: No, like, people. Humans. Oh, humans are invading the United 00:50:00 Jack: States. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: So Russia is like, yeah, let's attack. What if that's what's happening near Alaska right now? And they're hanging out by the water. Cristina: So that we could throw our monster in the water? I don't know. Jack: They've got their monster. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: There's ships and planes. They're surveying our area consistently. They've probably got their creature underwater in some giant cage, and it's probably imprisoned, tied up in some way, and they're just planning and testing to release it. And they could just release it and leave. They don't have to do anything. One day they just leave. A couple of hours later. A couple of days later, something starts attacking Alaska. Cristina: Okay. Jack: I don't know how Canada is going to protect itself, but I guess Canada would be screwed here too. Cristina: They got their own monsters, Hopefully. Jack: They got their own monsters. Hopefully. Unless the point is that Canada doesn't have a way to defend itself. And the only way would be for us to start nuking Canada to kill the creature. Cristina: That's crazy. Jack: Which would create an interesting problem. Would we do it? Cristina: I guess that's why we got so much nukes. Jack: I think maybe that's also why our least defended area is the only access point. Because the least amount of people are around the Alaskan area. It's a transport point, but there are the least amount of people in Alaska. If we had to drop a nuke, it would be an easier decision than if it came up through New York City. Cristina: Okay, you get my point? Yeah. Jack: So we make that the easiest attack point, and that's the only likely placer probably to go. Because then we would just start bombing them or dropping our own creatures on them. So then they have to release it over there so that by the time it gets to the water, I mean, it gets to land, starts destroying things locally, we have enough time to react and attack it before it leaves Alaska. And we never have to catch Canada with our nukes. Maybe that's strategic. Cristina: Weird. Jack: But yes, would make sense and would keep the rest of the United States safe. Over. Militarize. All of it. Agree with Canada. We're going to keep that land mass up there and we're going to make it the least defended. You defend your borders like a. But we can nuke that. If they ever drop a creature. Cristina: Do we have creatures on every border then? Jack: Like, we don't. We don't know. We just know they might be dropping a creature on us and that's why they're hovering over there. Cristina: But they are not in Mexico just getting ready to attack us. Jack: Interesting. You think? I mean, that would make sense. Then that would actually explain the wall a little better. Cristina: Yeah, maybe. Jack: Maybe the wall's point was to stop these creatures. Because the creature might not just be destroying for no reason. It's gonna avoid crap. Cristina: Mm. Jack: It's a creature. If you're not controlling it, that's just doing random s***. You build the wall, it might not even try to go over. It might turn away and go somewhere else. Cristina: Interesting. You know, just then, if we're thinking about that, like, maybe all the walls, but then, like, China has walls. Jack: China has walls. They've been doing it since whatever century. Cristina: We know them because the dragons. So like who had the dragons that was attacking China that they decided, let's build some walls, dude. Jack: Even this really ancient place we were researching, the Indian place, Dwarf or whatever from 9,000 BC, had giant double layered walls surrounding them in the water too. Cristina: And it wasn't even just the land that they were protecting. Even the waterside, man. Jack: You know what's crazy, dude? We've also seen many people were f****** with Camaras. The text said so much about chimeras. Cristina: I don't know because I thought these were natural creatures. But then if you start talking about chimeras. That's not natural. Jack: That's not natural. Unless it's creatures we're seeing now are the creatures from back then that they were f****** with. And that's why it would have these abilities. It would be a creature that is some over like leftover relic, ancient scientific experiment. It's not us like our experiment. It had to get to think about the two problems we were trying to solve earlier. How does it have these abilities? Well, we had to make it. How is it its size? No, I had to age to that point. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Solution. It was made and it aged to that point. What does that tell us? It had to be made long ago. Cristina: Okay, One of these ancient civilizations. Jack: And maybe there's a bunch of. Maybe they're everywhere. Some civilizations go underground. Some civilizations can move things to other planets. Maybe us in current day looking at the moon, saw some s*** we shouldn't have because we know there's theories about the other side of the moon, the dark side of 00:55:00 Jack: the moon, which isn't dark because it gets light, but we don't see it. And like, maybe there's something out there. Maybe that's the reason China wanted the return to that side of the moon. Maybe what we saw was like, oh, crap, we don't want to wake that thing up. Or we saw civilization that was like, you guys don't talk about seeing space because they got their creature, whatever the crap might be. Maybe there's creatures like that everywhere, everywhere. And we're just finding them. Some civilizations went extinct. Cristina: So all these fairy tale like creatures that are monsters are not really monsters at all. But then would we put like you said, the Loch Ness monster, And then there's vampires, werewolves, all those other creatures. The Ninja Turtles. No, whatever. Chupacabra. They're like all just ancient experiments. Jack: No, not all ancient experiments, but they're all scientifically explainable. Just like adrenochrome could be scientifically explained to some degree. We don't know what causes all these different things. But I think. I think none of it is magic. And I think we do have maybe current day proof of weird s***. Things we have seen that more than one individual has seen. And there's some kind of proof, whether it be current day photos and things that aren't considered fiction. Nessie's a weird one. Some ancient other kind of creature that. No, it has to be from the past. Everybody assumes has to be. Scientists are like whatever creatures is. Resembles this thing from way long ago. Except it would have had to be even longer ago. Then Dwarka and then the Elysians. It had to be from like Elio's time. Cristina: Okay, Elio. Was he around dinosaurs? Jack: Am I saying that wrong? What the h*** was his name? Loi. Cristina: Loi. Jack: Loi. It could have been from like Loi's time, but still, that's. No, it had to be from millions of years ago. That's a problem. So it would have still even outdated. Loi. No, if 3 million years ago isn't. It still has to be like 150 million years ago. 3 million isn't that long ago compared to a creature that Nessie looks like. So maybe there's crap so long ago has nothing to do with any of those people. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Technology so ancient, that's crazy. Cristina: If it's still technology evolved, I guess. Jack: It would have continued to evolve, you. Cristina: Know, But I don't know. I don't know. Jack: It could have. So somehow. Somehow science was involved in the making of this thing. Cristina: Mm. Jack: Because still. How are you f****** doing it, then? Cristina: Again. Jack: Again, physiologically. I tried to explain it physiologically. Those creatures to shoot things. We know crabs can make explosions into grounds. Really specific ones. Or. I think it's a shrimp or something. And so that's. Some creatures have superpower. Like things spit acid out or whatever. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And. Or some, you know, throw smoke out or whatever ink out. If you can do some kind of air pressure thing where you suck in twice the amount that you push out, then you can push out through a smaller airway, creating more of a pressure. Because more air through a smaller airway goes faster. You get some range. And if you can have some kind of ignition and put into that air that's moving through some kind of flammable air you throw in, there's gas, some flammable gas you throw into the air that you're pushing out, then you can create some kind of flamethrower like thing. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And if it shoots out with enough pressure, the closer to your mouth it is, the more like A laser beam it would be. And the further away, the more like regular, you know, it's less pressure. Farther off, it's more like fire far. So maybe you can get a nice stream that looks like a beam. If your size is big enough from our eyes. If you shot a fire beam and it was the length of like 30 buildings at the peak of your mouth, it's gonna look like a straight out beam, not like a fire blast. Right. Because you're shooting. Because it's closer to whatever spot you're shooting it from. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It's gonna be closer to the shape of the airway you're pushing the air through. Took it look like a beam. There could be explanations all this weird. So what's our landed conclusion? That there's creatures at the center of the earth that have aged for who knows how long. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Countries have found them, some countries have captured them. And likely evidence of this is that Hiroshima had something called the little boy dropped off that we think is a nuke. But it might have been Godzilla and it created nuclear sized destruction. And that three days later after it strolled off, we threw an actual nuke called Fat man to evaporate Godzilla and see if that could work. And it did. And ever since there has been prepared. Everybody's been preparing, Everybody's been making bombs, everybody's been 01:00:00 Jack: making nukes everywhere. All at the same time, just in case, just for the day. Cristina: That makes sense. Jack: And when people are cryptic instead of just saying nukes. So just saying I'll bomb you. When somebody like the North Korean leader is like, I got a present for you. And he says that to Trump, what he's talking about is, you know, you saw the creature. I show you my creature. I got that for you. Cristina: That's weird. Jack: And leaders know, but people don't. Cristina: Leaders are showing each other their creature. Interesting. Because they don't have to show anyone. But they could. Jack: They could, they could, they could. And people aren't gonna talk. Cristina: Yeah. Weird. Okay. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Trump knows about him. Jack: Maybe a bunch. No, Trump would immediately talk. I think Trump wouldn't be able to hold it. I think he would just tell the world in excitement. Cristina: So you don't think he was told yet? Jack: I don't know. Maybe he was. Maybe what we see and what he is are two different things. Who knows? Anyways, we have solved the possibility. So what's the consensus? Is Godzilla real? I, I only if the government has to show us everything because they're doing some cahoots. Cristina: That's the whole point. Yes. The government is just Showing us things that are real. Jack: Yeah. So if that's the case, then Godzilla is real. Yes, because they have to show us everything. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And then that would explain the proof behind Godzilla being real. Cristina: Because the government showed it to us. Jack: The government showed it to us because. Cristina: Obviously they run Hollywood. Jack: Yes. And history shows that, yes, there was definitely some bombs dropped and people saw a lizard in Tokyo. You know, so we got bombs, we got movies, we got evidence everywhere that something happened that they're not telling us. Cristina: But they are telling us just through movies. Okay. Yep. Jack: And the correct story is In August 6, 1945, Godzilla was released on Hiroshima. Godzilla wandered the island past Tokyo and got to Nagasaki, where he was finally nuked. Cristina: Yes. That is the story. The unofficial true story. Jack: That is the unofficial true story of Godzilla. Okay. I'm glad you guys made it with us through this to discover what really happened here. This was important. Cristina: It was. Jack: We've established details that matter to the people of Earth, and now we know true military capabilities of a lot of countries. It's way worse than a nuke. You wouldn't think so, but if you don't have to keep firing and you can just release a thing that could only be killed if you nuke your own people. Cristina: Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Jack: Yeah, that goes hard. Cristina: That goes hard. Jack: It's just gonna keep destroying until you nuke it. Guys, you got to nuke your own people. Enjoy. Explain that to your civilians later. Cristina: Yep. It's. It's. It's what's happening. Jack: It's what's happening. Cristina: It happened. Jack: Fire. That's crazy. That's such a solid military tactic. I guess that's why bioweapons are really overpowered. You want people to have to attack their own people. That's winning a war. Cristina: That is insane. Jack: That's. Yeah, you won. If you gotta start attacking your own people, whoever did that to you, they won. That's fire. They don't have to worry about themselves anymore. You're too distracted dealing with you crazy. Cristina: Mm. Jack: Bioweapons. Resident Evil had the right idea. Cristina: Again, bioweapons. Jack: The way to go. Anyways, if you guys think that we missed something important here that should have happened as a natural development of Godzilla or some other proof that maybe exists. Cristina: In the world 100% right that we're right. Jack: If you can help us justify this, let us know. Reach out to us. You could do that on our socials, at just convo pod, on Tik Tok, Instagram, on X, and on Facebook, wherever. Just type our name. Cristina: You'll find everywhere. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Remember to subscribe. Right. And review the show. Jack: Yes. And word of mouth is really overpowered. Tell everybody about the program and the fact that we have absolutely given. Given you nothing but solid fact and proof that Godzilla was real and a timeline that you could throw in people's faces and show them, look, this is proof. And when they're like, you're using a weird kind of confirmation bias, looking for evidence to prove your argument instead of disprove it, you tell them what is proof of your beliefs. And they're going to be like, good point. But you're being absurd. And you're going to say, I can back these thoughts up with science. Can you? And that argument is gonna win. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Because they're gonna 01:05:00 Jack: be like, I can't. Even if they know inherently, it might make more sense. In your total argument, you've used nothing but science. Even if applying it only where. Only where very convenient. And ignoring the areas that would make it unconvenient, you'd be the only one in the conversation with science. Cristina: Ridiculous. Okay. This has been the Rambling Podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Jack: Bye. Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. This podcast is hosted by Cristina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.in fox art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black. 01:06:20

Rambling 140: Poopzilla Causes Climate Change

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Where do the sewers lead to? Does it go back into the ocean water? Does human fecal matter add to pollution the way cow farts do? And how do we solve this poo related climate crisis? The due solves the problem of outdated sewers and climate change simultaneously on this episode filled with innovative solutions. Support the cause. Contact the Cave Sewer Society: A nonprofit organization trying to move all the sewer systems into local cave systems.

Rambling 140: Poopzilla Causes Climate Change

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed:

  • Portapotty
  • Innovating the Toilet
  • Dead Babies
  • Legal Cannibalism
  • Cannibal Parties
  • Sewer Cleanup
  • Poopie Homeless People
  • Poo To Water Ratio
  • Cave Sewers
  • Shit Demon
  • Godzilla vs Poopzilla
  • Shit Beam
  • Living Poo
  • Poop Portal

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Just Conversation podcast, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Cristina: Also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on topics we discuss.

Jack: Yes. So as usual, be sure to find that significant other that's going to listen to the show with you, whether it be a person you've loved your entire life. You guys have grown up together. You were, you were like childhood friends. Like, your parents knew each other before you guys were conceived. And then you guys were born around the same time. You're the same age. Your parents decided, hey, we're gonna have kids around the same time. How cool is that gonna be? They're gonna be best friends. And you guys actually turned out best friends in your opposite sexes. That your best friend ended up being who your first date. And you guys fell in love in high school and then you married them and now it's 40 years later and you've been with this person your entire life, whether it's that person or the homeless man that stuck his finger in your mouth while you were in the train.

Cristina: There's no homeless man doing that, is there? Homeless men?

Jack: I bet there's like, first, what do you do after that moment? Right? You kill yourself, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: A homeless man.

Cristina: You hope that he's really a billionaire who is doing some weird prank show and is going to give you money. I don't know.

Jack: Like, what did you just catch if a home. What did you just catch if a homeless man?

Cristina: Then you turn into rat man. You become. You get superpowers.

Jack: Can you imagine? It's like rolling around in chemical waste at that point. Yes, it definitely is. It's f****** crazy. What? Where, where have they been? They don't have access to toilet paper. They're just using like random s*** they find around occasionally, bro. And they can't wash their hands afterwards either, bro.

Cristina: Are you sure they're not just using regular bathrooms like everyone else? What about a night, 24 hour open places?

Jack: What if they don't live by one?

Cristina: Oh, those potties. Porta Potties.

Jack: Those aren't everywhere.

Cristina: They're not?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Maybe they just huddle around those at night. They find them.

Jack: They just have natural trackers that take them to where the porta potties are.

Cristina: You'll find them in, I guess, the park. I don't know where. They're random porta potties outside.

Jack: Whose job is to clean that s***? Dude, that sucks. I guess, like, we saw one, and it was, like, a timer on it, like, once a week. This is, like, cleaned out.

Cristina: They're honest about how often that's cleaned.

Jack: And, like, I'm sure people are worried. It's, like, how much s*** is in here, but, like, in a week, how many people use that thing?

Cristina: Especially if it's a very popular spot.

Jack: And, like, haven't we learned by now not to sit on the toilet of public bathrooms? How do people take dumps? Do they hover over the toilet?

Cristina: Yes, I guess.

Jack: But then, like, the higher up you are, the more splash, which means you have a worse problem.

Cristina: You probably can't p*** in those. I don't know.

Jack: Wait, Porta potties don't have water? No, it just, like, smashes into it and slides in.

Cristina: Yeah. So you can't worry about it splashing to you.

Jack: Why aren't other toilets like that?

Cristina: They have too much water.

Jack: Yeah, they should have no water.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Poo into it first. Make the inside of all toilets brown. Like, let's be real, right?

Cristina: So you don't have to look at that poo.

Jack: Because it's gonna just smack into it. It's not gonna be, like, a splash on. It's just gonna be, like, a clean. Every time it hits, like, the inside.

Cristina: Of that, it should be, like, whatever color a healthy poop looks like, that's the color it should be.

Jack: That's when you should know. Yeah. So that you're like, that's too dark. It's not. There's something wrong.

Cristina: Yeah, there's something wrong. But then what about peeing? You still peeing that, too?

Jack: You still peeing it too? Yeah.

Cristina: Well, it'll be harder to see if you're having healthy pees.

Jack: Oh, s***. I see your problem. There should be two toilets.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: There should be a pee toilet and a poo toilet.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Thus you can tell if you're healthy or not.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: The pee toilet should be the normal color of pee as well.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. So you know if you're under or over, whatever that is.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it gets dark, you got a problem. If it's too light, you got a problem. Well, no, it will never be too light because it's already that color. So I guess white for pee is fine.

Cristina: Okay. Yes.

Jack: But brown, Healthy. Brown.

Cristina: Healthy.

Jack: Yes, for poops. And no water in it.

Cristina: And no water.

Jack: That's why you need water. Well, no, you flush it later.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: The water will come in.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And then it'll empty out.

Cristina: But if it's too big. And that's why they have the water in the first place.

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Like it just clogs. Like, won't there be a clogging problem? You had a really big dump.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: There might be clogging problems. Like the water's trying to get in, but it's right there in the hole.

Jack: But isn't that already what happens when the poo is too big? Like there's no water from the other side. The water from the other side finished draining. Oh, you just gotta clog. It's the same, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know. I don't.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. Or there. Okay, fair enough. Maybe we. Maybe we just redesign the toilet. Right?

Cristina: What about for the homeless people?

Jack: Well, we're gonna redesign the porta potty. Well, the porta potty doesn't matter.

Cristina: It's fine.

Jack: Yeah, they just poo in it and it falls into like a dry hole.

Cristina: That's it.

Jack: That's it.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: I'm sure there's water down there, but I guess we should use the design of the porta potty in the regular toilet. Which means have two layers. Right. The top layer is brown and has a hole through which the poo will slide into.

Jack: That's gonna fall into water after the hole. There's no way it's gonna splash up all the way and hit you because it's too far down and there's a whole hole size something there.

Cristina: It's a huge hole size.

Jack: Yeah. So the poo goes through.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then falls into water. Poo didn't poo directly into water.

Cristina: Maybe people don't want bigger holes because like something important could fall in there. Like a baby. I don't know.

Jack: You don't need a hole so big a baby could fit into it.

Cristina: I don't know. What if it has to be that big? Like big enough that the head will fit somehow.

Jack: I am so sure there have been babies found dead in a porta potty.

Cristina: There might be people drowning babies in this. I don't know.

Jack: Right. That's kind of crazy.

Cristina: So it can't be that big because then people are just stuffing their babies in there.

Jack: I'm sure it's happening already. You can just open a porta potty up and do it.

Cristina: Oh, in a porta potty. But not a regular toilet.

Jack: You can stuff a baby into the top part that holds the water that.

Cristina: You'Re flushing, but you're not hiding it.

Jack: Well, yeah, you could close it and.

Cristina: Everything, but it's gonna stay there. The body just stays there, I guess. That's disturbing.

Jack: Wow. That's f*****. So yeah, there was in Texas, there was in fact a newborn baby found dead inside of a porta pot by workers emptying it out. I knew that was something people did.

Cristina: That was Recent too. Says June 3rd of this year. Oh, people are desperate to get rid of these babies.

Jack: They're like, I can't have another baby in the house.

Cristina: Yeah, it could be that. Or they're like, we gotta protect the planet from global warming and to protect it we need to get rid of some babies.

Jack: No, you know what we never really think about and it's kind of f***** up, right?

Cristina: What?

Jack: Imagine a woman gets pregnant and she's like in quarantine and we don't see her the whole year and she has her baby in the house and then they just get rid of the baby. Like they throw it in the trash or something and it's like just no record of that human having ever existed. That's just a dead baby.

Cristina: No one has to double check if they knew she was pregnant. Like, no one comes to check that the baby's healthy or not.

Jack: She doesn't want to, huh?

Cristina: You can't just throw away a dead baby, I think.

Jack: I mean, it's obviously illegal. Yeah, but like, who knows that she has the baby? Who's the person?

Cristina: If they've seen her stomach though, people know. Unless she hits. What are they going to do the whole time?

Jack: No, it doesn't matter. So they saw her stomach. What's happening there? Her neighbor saw that she's pregnant and.

Cristina: I don't know, they would call the cops, cuz murder.

Jack: How do they know There will be.

Cristina: An investigation and then they know too late.

Jack: The baby's already been deposited into the f****** dumpster area site. How many bodies are out of f******, bro? That's crazy.

Cristina: You think there's a bunch of bodies in there?

Jack: What, where? The trucks throw away all the trash? H*** yeah. There has to be. There's no way there isn't.

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't know.

Jack: There's like over 90% of all murders go unsolved. They're probably there.

Cristina: Or they're all there.

Jack: Water.

Cristina: Mmm. Then they'll be in this toilet that has the huge hoe in it.

Jack: Yes, but people will find the babies in the porta potties. Yeah, but people will never find the baby that the mom threw into a trash bag with the rest of her food tied up neatly, put it into a black bag and put the black bag into a trash can outside for the trash people to pick it up.

Cristina: I don't know. I bet people found those babies. I don't know how they find those babies, but they. Someone found them.

Jack: Nah, I think. I think that was just dead babies for days.

Cristina: I don't know. How did they find this baby? I mean, it was in a porta pota.

Jack: They're just cleaning the porta potty and they're like, ah, hey, look at that baby.

Cristina: She probably. I don't understand how like, was she really abandoning this baby or did she not know she had a baby?

Jack: She like, she's like, this is the biggest poo out of my v***** I've ever had.

Cristina: Yeah. Like it could have been one of those situations that she didn't know she was pregnant. She's like, oh man, she just pooped and got out.

Jack: I've never pooed out of my v***** before. It's the biggest I've ever taken.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know.

Jack: And then ploop. Oh, what a relief. Oh, wait, there's a giant. Long term.

Cristina: She didn't even check.

Jack: There's a giant long t*** sticking from me. I gotta cut it off. No, the umbilical cord.

Cristina: Maybe that poofed out too. It just all came out and she didn't look back.

Jack: Umbilical cord's a weird thing.

Jack: Some people eat it.

Cristina: No, she ate it. No.

Jack: Would you eat your child's umbilical cord.

Cristina: If it was cooked right?

Jack: That's technically cannibalism.

Cristina: Yeah, it's the closest. It can't be. Is that illegal? Like cannibalism is illegal?

Jack: No, there is no. We already went through this. What you specifically taught us how cannibalism is technically not illegal. It's illegal to kill a person to eat.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yes. But it has to be self defense or. No, that's not it. Yeah, no, you can special case. That is okay.

Jack: Yeah, volunteers. A person could just give you the body part that you want to eat.

Cristina: No, I'm pretty sure that's not okay either.

Jack: Yeah, some guy was. Cut his p**** off and they were.

Cristina: Gonna eat it together and then the guy killed him. So we don't know if that was okay or not fair.

Jack: Fair.

Cristina: Because that turned very illegal. I'm not sure if the Case if they didn't do that, if he didn't attack him, would it been legal?

Jack: Could we. To get like, man, that's crazy. The government needs to stop deciding who can eat their own d*** and who can't.

Cristina: Yeah, I remember there was a story though. I think it was France, which, man, there was one country that they didn't have any cannibalism laws. And so the guy kept.

Jack: Germany.

Cristina: Was it Germany?

Jack: Yeah. There's an absurd amount of cannibals.

Cristina: No, there was just one random guy who just kept eating dead bodies. I don't know where he was getting these pieces at, but he would just eat it in front of the government building or whatever.

Jack: And Yeah, I remember that story.

Cristina: I'm guessing too passed laws or something like he was protesting in a very weird way. Or maybe not.

Jack: Maybe he just like. I love eating people in front of other people.

Cristina: Yeah, that's crazy.

Jack: I know. But I know that Germany is the one that we found that had a crazy amount of cannibals.

Cristina: Yes. They just chilling around. Yeah. The guy who killed the guy that they were gonna eat his p**** was the guy that said there's a bunch of cannibals out there in Germany. Yes.

Jack: It's a 10 out of one. Can you imagine 10 out of one? I don't know, because that's an impossible.

Cristina: He only knows about about 200 of them, I think he said wasn't over.

Jack: Where the f*** does he go when he find, like cannibal parties, man? I guess I went to the huttest cannibal party, man.

Cristina: No, it would just be people talking about they want to eat people and probably not none of them actually eat people.

Jack: A lot of people go missing kind of regularly. Oh, like this is feasible that they're eating people.

Cristina: Everyone's eating people.

Jack: They are. A lot of the cannibals.

Cristina: A lot of the cannibals are eating.

Jack: There's a lot of people going missing all the time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Seven billion of us. We can't keep track of it.

Cristina: You think a lot of it's going to cannibals?

Jack: Enough of it. There's obviously a lot of human trafficking and organ trades, slavery.

Cristina: And that thing that the mom takes out, what was it called?

Jack: There's the umbilical cord and the placenta both get eaten.

Cristina: Yeah. You think she can sell that on the Internet to a cannibal? Would that be legal?

Jack: That should, in theory be fine because.

Cristina: That'S not really a dead person.

Jack: You gotta freeze it.

Cristina: Well, maybe she freezes it right after.

Jack: Cuts off the umbilical cord, puts it in a freezer.

Cristina: Whoa. Maybe she wants to see how much money she can make off of this. I wonder if someone's done this. Someone's had to. Maybe a home birth. You could do that.

Jack: Probably. I guess you'd have to go to, like, the black market to really find it. You know, one of those websites that sell everything.

Cristina: I'm not gonna get in trouble for just looking it up on a regular website, but, yeah, probably. They sell anything there, so.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Like diapers.

Jack: I know. That's crazy, right? One of the hottest things on the black market is diapers.

Cristina: Babies are expensive.

Jack: I don't know why anybody has babies.

Cristina: I don't know. They should all be abandoning their babies in a porta potty.

Jack: That makes perfect sense.

Cristina: Or into this toilet that you're gonna make.

Jack: Yeah, this way. Efficient toilet.

Cristina: But now, is that toilet being made to get rid of babies, or is it still the water for the water problem?

Jack: So, water problem. But I'm assuming you could definitely throw a baby in there. You wouldn't fit the baby through the hole, though.

Cristina: It's not that big.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: In the porta potty, you can open the porta potty.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You can't open, like, the hole. There's just water down there, so you don't really need it. Just water and poo in the toilet? Yeah, in the second hole.

Cristina: Oh, okay. There's a second hole.

Jack: The first hole has no water.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That goes into, I guess not a second hole, but that goes into a chamber with water where the poo falls into.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And that's what gets flushed.

Cristina: Ah, yes. Yes. So no babies in there?

Jack: No babies in there.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: How do the sewers get cleaned? I've seen trucks do it, right? They just stick like a hose.

Cristina: They send homeless people down there.

Jack: Why don't they? Homeless people will do the job. They're already kind of poopy.

Cristina: That's awful, huh? But they send people down there. Yeah, down there.

Jack: People down there. There are people whose job it is to do it. They don't even want to send the homeless people. Poo is part of their life.

Cristina: Is it?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: It's well known homeless people roll around in poo all day.

Cristina: No, they go to open to porta potties. They have to. There's nothing else.

Jack: I wonder how many homeless people have reached into the porta potty and touched poo.

Cristina: Why would any of them do that?

Jack: There has to be somebody, right? At some point.

Cristina: I feel Like a child is more likely to do that.

Jack: Right? But like at least one homeless man stuck his hand and touched the put in the porta potty.

Cristina: Just one.

Jack: Just one. Seven billion people. One f****** homeless man stuck his hand into a porta potty to touch poo.

Cristina: You think one regular guy would do that? No, he has to be a homeless person.

Jack: Has to be a homeless person. They have to be way more comfortable with poo.

Cristina: Why would they be more comfortable with poo?

Jack: Just because your body is 50% poo.

Cristina: How?

Jack: Their dad was a human. Their mom was a pooh.

Cristina: And that's how. And that, whatever that is, is a homeless person?

Jack: Yes. That's why Bono can't have children because they're all poo.

Cristina: Are they homeless people or are they just poop?

Jack: They're homeless people that are made out of poo. They're made out of poo. They just look human.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: The poo less people.

Cristina: Huh? And what is he? Is he a homeless person?

Jack: No, he's the poo. He's just a poo.

Cristina: Oh, he's just a poo. Okay, that's true.

Jack: Bono is King poo.

Cristina: So poos can't be homeless, but their babies are homeless.

Jack: I mean, like a poo that doesn't go out and make money could in theory be homeless.

Cristina: Yeah, like human.

Jack: Yeah, but like most poos that are hybrids are homeless, okay? That doesn't mean broke, that just means homeless. They just live outside.

Cristina: They just live outside.

Jack: Some of them got a lot of guap.

Cristina: But live outside.

Jack: But live outside like poo should.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: They live like poop.

Cristina: They live like poo. Yeah, because they are part poop.

Jack: They are part poop. It is in their nature.

Cristina: Where did you get that from?

Jack: Where'd I get what from?

Cristina: Poop people.

Jack: Where wouldn't I get poop people from?

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know.

Jack: The problem is, man, okay, so they clean it, right? They go down there, they hire all the poo people, and the poop people go into the sewers because they're mainly poo already. And they clean the sewers.

Cristina: Then I don't know, are they poop? Wait, because they're poop people, does everything they clean actually get cleaned?

Jack: No, it's like. It's like if you used a t*** to wipe off the poo that like landed on your car from a bird.

Cristina: That's what it's like, you know?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if that was. If that's the sponge you were using.

Cristina: So then you can't use the homeless people to clean.

Jack: You can reduce the. They can go in there and push the vast majority of poop out and then send somebody who isn't dirty to clean after them to clean the. Because they wouldn't walk in like inches of poo that's been cleaned. They got going to like power, like hose everything down.

Cristina: That sounds so. Okay, well why can't they do that? Or everything they. They're standing on everything is just poop.

Jack: In the sewers, all things are poop.

Cristina: Oh, okay. But the person standing in there is not poop.

Jack: Standing in where?

Cristina: The sewers to clean up the mess.

Jack: Oh, the one with the power hose. No, it's fine. It's power washing. They're in there, but they're not standing in the poo because the poo got cleaned up by the poo people.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That's how it goes. I'm sure that it is entirely possible to come up with some other way to like get rid of it, right? No, the problem is that poo intoxicates, right? Like it's, it's emissions of some sort of.

Cristina: Get rid of it in the sewer.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. So that people don't have to go down there.

Cristina: We can create an animal that eats the poo. Is that possible?

Jack: Interesting, interesting. It could be possible, but I don't think we'd have like the resources. So there's so much poo. So much poo. We need a creature who would just get stuffed by the poo and want more. Just billions of humans or a thing.

Cristina: That could like, reproduce. Like, there's rats in there. We get them to be poop loving.

Jack: Rats, then that's a problem. How long before we're overthrown by the poo animal?

Cristina: I don't know. We're not poo though. They have no reason to bother us.

Jack: No, but they would fill up the sewer so much there'd be no more room.

Cristina: Because they reproduce too quickly.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, like, this is where my thought went, right? Because I'm thinking poo cleaning poo. And like, cows create emissions by pooing and farting and s***. And then that f**** up our environment. The climate has changed because of the cow farts.

Cristina: So we're gonna get rid of the cows.

Jack: Well, that's what stopped me from being like, we could burn all the poo. We could just like light all the poo. But does all the poo just fall in the ocean?

Cristina: I hope not. I like to think that they just End at the sewer.

Jack: I think it falls in the ocean.

Cristina: Oh. Somewhere that no one is.

Jack: It would have to be right. Because what we have to look at is we aren't really bothered about drinking or being in poo water. Nobody's bothered by that. We're bothered by the ratio of poo to water.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So like in a pool, any amount of poo is too much poo. But in like a lake, a t*** is fine. A t*** like you could be this poo water. There's poo in that water. But also you'd be fine.

Cristina: Wild animals, you don't think about like a person. Poo.

Jack: It doesn't matter getting in the lake. There's poo in there.

Cristina: Oh yeah.

Jack: So like the ocean is drowning in poo. There's so much poo in the ocean.

Cristina: There are places we could just dump poo in the ocean. I guess. Like it's huge. There's unknown places you'll find a hole in the ocean.

Jack: I think that's what sinkholes are. I think they found like a landfill. You know what a landfill is? Okay. So just filled with poo. Then you throw dirt over it, solidifying it. And then you build houses on top of.

Cristina: That's what those are.

Jack: Just a house built on poo. And one day that poo gets re soft and cracks underneath the the dirt that was thrown there and there collapses and boom. You fall into a hole. Well cuz, where does the sinkhole go? To h***?

Cristina: The f*** I don't know. But you think it's. It was poop before.

Jack: I'm pretty sure.

Cristina: You think we made those sinkholes, Man.

Jack: What are the odds of landfill as a sinkhole? Right?

Jack: That's crazy.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I did not know this. So a sinkhole can just be a tiny little hole where it could just go way down there into the earth. Hundreds of feet into the earth.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's f****** nuts.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But so in reading this, you know what that gave me the idea for what There are like a lot of caves.

Jack: Why don't we create a system of sewage that sends all the poo instead of into water because I'm pretty sure goes to water and send it into just the center of the earth. Just start filling the earth with poo.

Cristina: Filling the earth with poo.

Jack: But we would never. This all of humanity could fit in like one state. You could fit the whole planet sort of people into like Texas. So we won't ever fill the earth with poo?

Cristina: No.

Jack: At least not anytime soon.

Cristina: We could just Find a really deep hole. Like, isn't there a deep hole somewhere in. I don't know where it is. Somewhere.

Jack: The one that goes to h***.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, what if we just stuff that hole with poop?

Jack: How long before it got filled?

Cristina: I don't know. Because I'm guessing that goes really, really deep. They don't know where the bottom is.

Jack: Yeah. Fair enough. We could just. But then we got it. That's not. Probably gonna start delivering the poo. Because then we need way more trucks that are gonna release way more. We're trying to stop climate change.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: And solve the poo problem. That's because the cow poo.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And farts. Messes the air up. We can't just burn the poo. Which would be the ideal because it would just disappear. But so much poo. We f*** the planet up.

Cristina: And throwing it into volcanoes is a bad idea.

Jack: We might trigger the volcano.

Cristina: Oh. Boo. Okay.

Jack: Yeah. It seems problematic.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But we either make systems in which they fall into caves.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Or we. Because if we tried to take it to the hole that goes to nowhere. Planes and boats and trucks. Like, we need way more poop.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: To move all the poo in the world.

Cristina: That's probably causing more problems than.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Because by throwing it in the water, at least you're not polluting the air. You're just polluting the water.

Cristina: But now we're gonna pollute caves.

Jack: Well, we wouldn't be polluting the air or the water. Assuming the caves don't connect to water. But we're already throwing it into water. Maybe we just throw it so deep that by the time the water comes from wherever deep it is, the water has been filtered by the rocks and crap that it's moving through.

Cristina: Aren't there volcanoes in the water? We could just find one of those and throw them in.

Jack: But then we need the transportation.

Cristina: We still need the transportation.

Jack: If we can just. Every city is built upon enough that if you were to go far down enough, there have to be like catacombs or some s***. Right.

Cristina: Where? The stuff of those catacombs with poo.

Jack: This can create a sewage system that takes all the poo to the catacombs.

Cristina: And that won't be causing any problems.

Jack: We don't know. It's like lead pipes. We didn't predict it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like it happened. And we were like, okay, maybe that's a bad idea. But like, at the moment it seems fine. Pooh filled catacombs seems like a really good plan.

Cristina: Yeah. Like what could go Wrong.

Jack: What could go wrong? Unless, like, that's where demons come from and like we have some sort of poo monster. The pooh down there?

Cristina: I don't think so, no.

Jack: Yeah, there was a poo monster in the movie Dogma.

Cristina: There was?

Jack: Yeah, it's a Kevin Smith movie.

Cristina: I have to watch that. Okay.

Jack: Yeah. And that poo monster, he came from a cave? No, he just came from the toilet. Oh, yeah, but he was a poo monster. He was at least made of enough poo that he could come out of a toilet and be like a good 7 or 8ft tall.

Cristina: What was he like, the U2 guy where he's just one person's poo or was he like.

Jack: No, I think he's composed of everyone's poo.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: I think there was a legit like, poo made, poo monster.

Cristina: Poo made. Okay, yeah.

Jack: Made a bunch of people's poo and.

Cristina: But did something make it alive or it just.

Jack: Angels make poo monsters, I think.

Cristina: I'm not really sure the angels did it.

Jack: What the f***?

Cristina: It says s*** demon. It does look like a demon.

Jack: Oh, got it. But like the angels caused the s*** demon.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: I think.

Cristina: Can angels make demons?

Jack: Depending on the Dogma, certain angels are. Demonstration.

Cristina: They're gonna shoot it.

Jack: Gonna shoot the s*** demon. Okay, so do we learn something? I don't think we learned f****** anything. I just know that there's a s*** demon.

Cristina: So it's not from their poop. It seems like it's its own creature.

Jack: No, it's made from h***.

Cristina: It could be h***'s poop.

Jack: No, it came from the toilet.

Cristina: It did come from a toilet. Okay.

Jack: The toilet overflowed and then the s*** demon formed.

Cristina: He might have traveled through the toilet. That doesn't mean he was made through the poop that was in that toilet.

Jack: We saw him be formed from the s*** that was in that toilet. He just.

Cristina: That toy. That poop might have traveled there. I mean, from where?

Jack: So that poo is connected to h***?

Cristina: Yeah, look at it. It's not normal poo.

Jack: It's like, yeah, he's like extra wet, but like, I don't know, he's like diarrhea that's solidified or something. Yeah, but like, so we connect the sewers. We send all the poo into the catacombs through the sewers and then it forms and it harvests there. You know what the fear would be.

Cristina: Besides the poop demon?

Jack: Well, no, the poop demon would be the result. And it's because we also saw this sort of happen in Ghostbusters where a lot of negative emotions led to like this demon forming over the city.

Cristina: That's what happened in that movie.

Jack: Yeah. Like in New York City, all the negative emotions created a demon that was like the big boss at the end of the movie.

Cristina: I remember the big boss, but it didn't look scary or anything. It had a smile on its face.

Jack: Oh yeah, I guess. But it was made out of evil emotions.

Cristina: It was.

Jack: Yeah. So assuming people don't feel like all the mean poops of the world are also going to be down there and.

Cristina: They'Re going to create the demon.

Jack: Yeah, it's slowly going to like, all the negative poo energy is going to fall together and sort of start manifesting more. And it's going to. As it lands together, it just vibes with itself, slowly creating consciousness within the poo.

Cristina: With enough poo, it could become so big, it could become like a poop whale. And then we don't really have to worry. We just can never go into the sea.

Jack: Well, it's in the catacombs though.

Cristina: Like, if it made its way out, how big could it be? How much poop could stick to it before it decides, okay, that's enough poo. Now I'm a thing. Well, it could be our size, but it could also be like Godzilla size and it rips out of the hole.

Jack: Yeah. Well, here's another problem because we already know that we have a Godzilla to fight the Poopzilla with.

Jack: I guess, I guess the question would be. Right. So we're gonna have a Poopzilla inevitably. Because we solved our pollution problem for poop. And we even have like the cow poop falling into here with all the poop. All the poop of the world just falls into our catacomb thing and creates Poopzilla, which is a giant. It's a giant poop monster the size of Godzilla. Size of a city, essentially. What we really need to think about is in a one on one battle, would Godzilla.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Or Poop Zilla win? It's kinda like Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla.

Cristina: And Godzilla wins.

Jack: You think Godzilla wins? Because if I lit a poop on fire, what would happen to the poop? That's Godzilla's main thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Fire.

Cristina: It just gets worse, doesn't it? It might kill Godzilla. It might be like, it might kill all of us. Like the creature will die, but the result of the fire hitting it, like.

Jack: The pollution could be astounding.

Cristina: Yeah. Maybe he shouldn't use his fire powers, because I don't think that's. That's a good idea.

Jack: So he has to hit it.

Cristina: He fights. Or we can get King Kong.

Jack: I think it's a safer bet to get King Kong. But King Kong is so small next to, like, Godzilla.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. Unless you're talking about that movie where they're the same. Are they the same in that movie?

Jack: In that movie, they're the same. But that doesn't make any f****** sense because, again, King Kong had to climb the Empire State Building.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it, like, took a while. Godzilla walks up to the Empire State Building, he's just staring at the tip. There's, like, a clear difference. They are not the same.

Cristina: He's got a bunch of powers. It's not just he breathes fire.

Jack: Godzilla. Yeah, he breathes fire. He also has, like, an ice blast or some s*** like that.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, depending on the movie, he probably has different powers. I think one time I read that he can also transform, like everything else. Like, he has transformations. He can go through transformations. I don't know how.

Jack: Shapeshift.

Cristina: Yeah. I tried to find a picture of it, but it's really, really hard. Maybe YouTube has something of it.

Jack: It would be like a clip of him turning into some s***, right?

Cristina: Yeah. Like, they described it as a giant eel, but it did not look like one to me.

Jack: What I'm. What I'm more interested in is, like, what are the powers he has? Because you could transform into some other s***, but, like, then what? You're still hitting a poo. Yeah, a giant poo the size of a building.

Cristina: Transforming won't help at all.

Jack: It won't. It's like, what are your abilities? Freezing the poo that's overpowered.

Cristina: If it could fly. If he can fly out into space, I don't know if he could grab.

Jack: Oh, s***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But then we gotta, like, want. He's still a lizard. Like, he can't survive in space.

Cristina: We don't need him to.

Jack: We need Mechagodzilla at that point. If we can use Mechagodzilla to give poo zilla.

Cristina: But does he have the same powers? Because. No, I think Mechagodzilla, you need freezing powers.

Jack: We could team up.

Cristina: Team up. Okay. Godzilla freezes the giant, like in that.

Jack: Stupid f****** movie where, for whatever reason, Godzilla and King Kong were the same size.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: At the end of the movie, they teamed up against Mechagodzilla.

Cristina: Poor cat.

Jack: That doesn't make any sense, considering you're both wild f****** animals.

Cristina: One of them. And then after the fight, he was like, okay, we're cool now.

Jack: Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's like you should. It should be a free for all. You should all three just be hooking off on each other. But you're like, no, we make sense. Where. Now you hit me so hard I can critically think.

Cristina: Yes, and we're cool now. But Godzilla was the bad guy the whole time. Right? And he beat the King Kong.

Jack: King Kong was a good guy.

Cristina: Yeah. Didn't we get King Kong to fight Godzilla? I don't know. That might not be the movie. I don't know. I didn't watch the movie. But I feel like that's what happened. I feel like we had.

Jack: Somebody was a bad guy, somebody was a good guy, and then they, whatever reason, joined.

Cristina: It's just Godzilla is always the bad guy. That's why I think. Then again, King. That is also.

Jack: But incorrect.

Cristina: He's not always a bad guy.

Jack: No, Godzilla's the good guy a lot of the time. Most times Godzilla's the good guy when.

Cristina: It comes to creatures, I guess.

Jack: Yes, you always call on Godzilla.

Cristina: But when it's not versus creatures, then Godzilla is the monster.

Jack: Yeah. Usually when it's solo Godzilla, no, He's just like f****** a city up.

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: Okay, okay. So for anybody who doesn't know what just happened, we took a pause. We looked at how Godzilla is called.

Cristina: And there was no call.

Jack: There was no call. Godzilla just kind of shows up.

Cristina: As long as you're in the water, it seems like you gotta take the monster to the water or around the.

Jack: Water and Godzilla will come and save the day. So Godzilla's not gonna save the city?

Cristina: No, he has no interest. Just don't mess with his home. That's why.

Jack: Yes. She's overprotective.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So interesting enough. The poop monster's only way out would be through water. So it would have to cross through Godzilla's home.

Cristina: So we don't have to summon Godzilla.

Jack: You don't need to summon Godzilla.

Cristina: They'll just want to get rid of the monster.

Jack: Is just gonna attract Godzilla.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And then the epic battle begins.

Cristina: But if Godzilla throws one of those mouth laser things, Godzilla cannot.

Jack: Godzilla needs ice.

Cristina: Are you sure there's a Godzilla with ice powers?

Jack: Yes, there definitely is Godzilla with ice powers. Crap, I thought there would be one.

Cristina: No, it seems like it's all radiation based.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. How's Godzilla gonna be Poopzilla?

Cristina: No, he. If he threws throws any beams That's. That's against the problem that we're trying to fight, I think.

Jack: Climate change.

Cristina: Yeah. So him doing anything would just cause more climate change.

Jack: So it has to be like a hand to hand combat.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And Godzilla isn't like a T. Rex where he has tiny front arms. It's like normal sized arms. He could swing. He could. They gotta fight. It's a fight. They're gonna fight. They have to fight. That's the only way. Hit him with your tail or some s***. Break Poopzilla in half.

Cristina: His tail. It can't be that strong. Unless he turns into one of those transformations where his tail has a laser that lasts for him.

Jack: We can't let it.

Cristina: Oh no.

Jack: No lasers.

Cristina: No lasers.

Jack: By any means. We have to avoid hitting Poopzilla with a radioactive laser beam that's gonna fry the.

Cristina: Probably not the right guy. There's gotta be a giant ice monster.

Jack: Something that can freeze. I guess it comes down to human technology.

Cristina: We gotta freeze it.

Jack: Or Mechagodzilla. We can use Mechagodzilla to give it a hug and fling it into space.

Cristina: Okay, as long as he doesn't use any powers. Because I'm guessing he has the same exact powers. I don't know if they gave him anything different.

Jack: But all we could just get him to take Poopzilla into space. Fling him at the moon or something.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Poopzilla isn't gonna like come off. It doesn't have any.

Cristina: But will that affect us in the future though? Will poop be raining from the sky from the dead poop monster?

Jack: No. Be on the moon. He's not gonna break apart. Are you sure he's stay composed enough moving through the water? He's pretty solid at this point.

Cristina: Okay, yeah, if he survived the water. Yeah, like if he doesn't though, then we have another problem where our water is full of poop. Our water is full of poop, but it's way more. It's all our poop.

Jack: Well, yeah, but it's also like all our poop is already in the water. But this is so much water that the poop to water ratio, like I said before, is pretty insignificant. It's all collected in one spot. That's not like a lot of poop.

Cristina: Are you sure it's all in there? Oh, that sounds awful.

Jack: Yeah, that's one of the reasons the ocean is the worst place to go. People who go to the beach are just walking in the poop. Okay, but you can take Poopzilla to The moon. And thus got rid of the poop monster.

Cristina: What? If you can survive on the moon.

Jack: It's fine. Let him survive on the moon. He probably doesn't breathe. He's made a poop.

Cristina: Exactly. That's why he probably doesn't breathe.

Jack: So he'll be fine.

Cristina: But if he gains the ability to, like, shoot himself into space or something, he just swims through space and back.

Jack: To us, then we have a problem. But, like, that's an overpowered problem. How would he. Let's say he did evolve to be able to do that. What would it take for him to leave moon's orbit in the first place? Like, it would take a pretty monstrous jump. And his legs aren't, like, powerful like that. If he looks like Godzilla.

Cristina: Yeah. And he can't. Yeah. I don't know.

Jack: It would take some effort.

Cristina: Would he have powers like Godzilla? Does he have some type of breath power?

Jack: S*** power. He shoots a s*** beam.

Cristina: S*** beam. If he shoots the s*** beam out of his b*** to jump out that way.

Jack: Interesting. You think his s*** beam doesn't come out his mouth? It comes out his a**.

Cristina: It makes sense. If it came out of his a**.

Jack: He's a giant t*** that poops.

Cristina: Yeah. That makes the most sense.

Jack: A pooping t***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Do you think our poo. I mean, technically. I mean, we established this in the past, right? That our poops. Was that on the show or we were just having like a private discussion about how poop is alive.

Cristina: I don't remember, but we. I think that was. That might be a clip or something. I don't know.

Jack: Really, I don't even know. Well, in case we didn't discuss this in front of a microphone, Poop is alive. We've established a poop is alive because it's made out of cells. Yeah, it's made out of cells. And all things made of cells are alive.

Cristina: That is so crazy. It shouldn't. I don't know. We. That was not in. Is that really. Man. We have to have these rules written out so we can look at them because I don't know if that's enough.

Jack: It's enough. The what? The f****** rules of life.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's easy. If it's made out of cells. It is the highest form of alive.

Cristina: It's the highest form. Poop is just the highest form of life.

Jack: Yeah. First you're alive, which is cellular.

Cristina: Wouldn't that be it?

Jack: What?

Cristina: It would just be alive?

Jack: Yeah, it's alive. Who is alive? Cellular. Then we have alive. So cellular. Then Alive, then galvan, then inanimate.

Cristina: So it's alive, but not inanimate. It's just alive.

Jack: No, it's like the highest form of alive. It's like equal to humans because it has cells.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. No, no, this doesn't make sense.

Jack: No, it's more alive than fire. Fire grows.

Cristina: There was rules. There was rules. Besides that. Was that really all that it needed? I feel like there was more to it. I don't know. Maybe it was just. It's hard to imagine poop is just alive. As alive as us.

Jack: It is, though, because all we're thinking. There are creatures like we discussed on the episode of Life that are.

Cristina: I need to see this.

Jack: But they're inanimate. They don't move. But they're made of plants. Yes, certain plants are just cellular things, but they don't.

Cristina: But they're alive anyway.

Jack: Exactly, because they're made of cells.

Cristina: Ah, I don't know.

Jack: They're made of cells.

Cristina: So poop is alive.

Jack: Poop is a living thing. There are some creatures that don't eat.

Cristina: I don't know, peasant. I think we were talking about sperm, and I don't think that made it.

Jack: No, sperm is the highest form of alive. We were trying to remove it. But it's made of cells, which.

Cristina: Then that's why you really gotta get. We gotta look at this list again. It's been a while.

Jack: It's been a while. Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay, so that's the list, right? There it goes. Cellular, alive, Galvan, and then inanimate.

Cristina: So then it's just cellular.

Jack: No, because everything above is everything below. But everything below is none of the above.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: Yes. So everything cellular is by default alive.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Oh, Everything alive has all the rules that require something to be galvan, plus more.

Cristina: But it might not have cells then.

Jack: Yes, it could be alive without cells.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Although we don't have an example for it. We have cellular, which includes all of the things that are alive.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Unless cellular meant alive, but I don't. I don't believe so. I think it's cellular, alive, Galvan, and then something else.

Cristina: Inanimate.

Jack: Inanimate.

Cristina: I'm sure it makes sense. I'm a re listen to this episode and make the list myself so we can put it on the website.

Jack: Fair enough, Fair enough. We need that somewhere. It should have been in the show notes. I don't know.

Cristina: Yes, but it will be in these show notes. Maybe like a link to it.

Jack: Yeah, and we'll put it in the past. Show notes. As well. We just have to establish what it is. Not even like a hard search.

Cristina: Yeah, it's not. So.

Jack: But I'm pretty sure it goes in that order. Cellular, alive, Galvin, inanimate. There might be a fifth one. I don't remember what the f*** it was.

Cristina: There might be.

Jack: Or not alive, just dead.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess that would be just that.

Jack: Yeah. And Galvin satisfies some of the things on the list.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Alive satisfies all of the. It checks off everything on the list. But it doesn't need to be made of cells.

Cristina: Yeah. I think the example was like, if God was a thing.

Jack: Yeah, well, no, God doesn't actually check the list because he doesn't need to eat and he doesn't need to poop. Yeah, He's Galvin.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: He's like fire in the sun.

Cristina: Yes, but we don't have no example.

Jack: Of something that's purely alive. We just know that that's a thing that's necessary.

Cristina: What about robots? If they become conscious or whatever.

Jack: I don't know. And the other thing is, we did Frankenstein as an example.

Cristina: And what was he?

Jack: I believe Frankenstein was. He's a cellular. Right. But those cells are all dead.

Cristina: But they were brought back to life.

Jack: So he was brought back to life. I don't know if everything else is functioning as should be. He might be an example of something alive. Yes, because he's undead. So he's not dead anymore. He's alive, but he's not cellular because all the cells are dead.

Cristina: Oh, okay. So zombies would be the same thing? I guess.

Jack: Depends on the zombie. A voodoo zombie. Yes. Currently zombies aren't dead people.

Cristina: They're not dead people. Okay. They're not.

Jack: They're infected people.

Cristina: They're still okay. Yeah, but doesn't it take the infected person to die? To turn?

Jack: No. You can get bitten and just turn.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some examples. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Okay, so the poop is alive.

Cristina: The poop is alive. I guess.

Jack: Cellular, but, like, doesn't need air. I'm assuming it's made of poo. Poo doesn't need air to stay alive.

Cristina: Yeah, it's just poo.

Jack: And it would never get back to us. It would be too hard. It would need a crazy mutation.

Cristina: The poop monster.

Jack: Yeah, Poopzilla.

Cristina: If you had the poop flying power to fart, you know, he wouldn't be able to get to.

Jack: The question is, would he be wasting himself and doing it?

Cristina: Oh, okay. There's just gonna be a bunch of poop in the Sky.

Jack: It wouldn't even like he would think about the distance between the moon surface and leaving the moon's gravitational pull. You will dissolve and just flop back onto the floor as a puddle.

Cristina: So. But not onto Earth. It would just be poop puddles onto the moon.

Jack: Yeah, because before you get out, you still need the pressure to lift your whole body weight.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And escape moon velocity.

Cristina: So we don't have to worry about this poop no matter what.

Jack: No, if we get it to the moon, we're fine.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So the solution is Mecha Godzilla to get rid of Poopzilla, and then we can continue using the catacombs to deposit all.

Cristina: Why would we do that again?

Jack: We wouldn't have stopped. Why did we? Why would we stop? If we were successfully solving the pollution problem.

Cristina: So we're just gonna keep doing that. But then what if it makes a big enough poop monster on the moon and that shoots back onto Earth or something?

Jack: I think there would be many different poop monsters on the moon.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And we can also vary our tossing of them. We're assuming that they try to leave with their poop launcher and they just die, falling back down to the moon as a puddle. Yeah, and it'll take many, many millennia before there's enough spread out puddle that it's touching each other, forming new poop monsters.

Cristina: So we'll have giant poop monsters.

Jack: Y. We'll have time. There'll be time to deal with these poop.

Cristina: Because what if they become poop humans or something?

Jack: They could start a whole poop civilization on the moon.

Cristina: But then they get. They create a poop rocket ship to come back here.

Jack: Then we have a problem. But they have to like, technologically advance. Yeah, they need poop knowledge. And as they advance. Well, first they need to begin on the. The poop age, which is when they're using basic poop tools. And then they're going to go through like more advanced poop industrial revolutions and farming and s*** like that. You know, start building the cities.

Cristina: What would farming be like? You're just farming poop, I guess. Are you eating poop? Is that cannibalism?

Jack: They farm corn exclusively.

Cristina: Where did they get the corn from? I guess if, like, it's our poop. Okay. Yeah, okay, there's corn there.

Jack: They eat nothing but corn. And they eat corn, beans, and nuts.

Cristina: But how are they gonna grow those things on the moon? Is enough poop gonna somehow help the moon have plants to grow?

Jack: Like, I don't look after they become sentient on the Moon, it'll naturally start to become poop reformed. Like terraforming, but poop.

Cristina: Yes. Okay.

Jack: And so a different kind of ecosystem will form on the moon.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Science man, Ecosystems happen naturally. And so after there's enough puddles of poop from giant monsters trying to get off the moon, but then falling back down though, there's gonna be poop oceans. And as Earth starts warming up and we. And the sun gets bigger and heats up even the moon to the right temperature, poop cells are gonna start to evolve. Because it's already made of cells. There's already cells up there. It just needs the right condition to start evolving.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So over millions of years, it's gonna happen. So one day we're just gonna be attacked by random people who discovered the ability. And we're not far. We're Earth, but we're gonna be so advanced by that point, it's not a problem.

Cristina: We're talking million times. We know when it's advancing. We'll be watching.

Jack: Yeah. In fact we're probably gonna first directive that s***. And just like we get the zoo theory, we gotta like the zoo hypothesis. You know, we gotta keep the moon safe because they're evolving naturally. Yeah, we got it. We can't interfere with. We made it and now they're living thing. We gotta let it happen naturally.

Cristina: But we can't let it touch us because it'll probably kill us. I don't.

Jack: Yeah, we're gonna be so clean by then. Yeah, I mean we got rid of our poo and pollution and just threw it up there over and over. Yeah, we haven't that. Like that would kill us.

Cristina: Yes, it would kill us.

Jack: But we've got the technology to just fend it off.

Cristina: Okay. What?

Jack: Okay, so technology saved the day.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Sure. Technology destroyed the planet to begin with.

Cristina: Mm. But then we made it someone else's problem.

Jack: Yes, the moon. And then we made life. We're God.

Cristina: Mm. S*** became we're God.

Jack: Of course. Exactly the way you'd expect humans would become God. By s***. Yeah, by means of s***.

Cristina: Everything we make is s***.

Jack: Everything we make is s***. And now quite literally the s*** we make is s*** we make.

Cristina: Yes, it makes sense. It's the way it's supposed to go.

Jack: The s*** we make is. Yes, it's. We are always sitting around questioning. Right.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: The next stage is machines. The next stage is machines. We're f****** stupid. It's been underneath our a**** this whole time.

Cristina: It's. But we can also see it from like what we've done. To the planet, what we've done to animals. Turning wolves into dogs.

Jack: Yes. Everything gets turned to s***. We turn everything to s***.

Cristina: Exactly. You can just look at what we've done.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah. From a wolf to a pug. We made s***.

Cristina: We have been doing that this whole time.

Jack: We just didn't know. It's like the. It's like the writer that goes his whole life, you know, I'm be a lawyer. I'm gonna be a doctor. And writes in his journal every day since he was, like, f****** five years old. I wonder what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna write stories about what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna be that. And grows up, goes to college. I'm gonna be this. I'm be that 30 years. I'll be this, I'll be. That makes it 40. I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna be that. Always writing about it. And then he realizes, oh, s***. I've been writing my whole life. I'm a writer. Of course, I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, an architect or this or I'm a writer.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That's where we are. We're like, technology is what we do. No. Wrong making s*** is what we do.

Cristina: That's what we do. That's all we do.

Jack: Always done. We make s***.

Cristina: Yeah. And that will help us somehow save the world.

Jack: It's gonna. Well, we're also the cause of the problem.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Which is very us.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's so us to create a monster by accident and then have to save it and then pat ourselves on the back for saving it.

Cristina: Exactly. Exactly.

Jack: Like, we did it, guys. We saved the world. It's like, it wouldn't have needed saving.

Cristina: I guess that's the same story with Godzilla. Like, we proud that we stopped him from destroying us, but also it's our fault.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah. We made Godzilla.

Cristina: Yeah. He's the monster that we made through technology and destruction.

Jack: To be completely fair, like, we own the Dragon Balls at this point. Like, we got. We got the big balls, too.

Cristina: The big balls.

Jack: Yeah. We could just summon this super mega Shenron guy and just get rid. But it would be too easy. And it's like, it'd be cooler.

Cristina: That would be so pointless.

Jack: Yeah. Like, it defeats the purpose of everything. We kind of got overpowered with that one.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So we no longer touch those because it's not fun. I'd rather use our s***** technology. Like the f****** time machine and the quantum computer and that stupid portal. We still don't understand.

Cristina: Then you. Why didn't we send it through the portal?

Jack: Why didn't we send all the poop through the portal then?

Cristina: We don't know if it could just come back through the portal.

Jack: We don't. Ish did.

Cristina: Ish did.

Jack: Yeah, he hopped in and out, like, effortlessly.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So that's probably total disregard for his health.

Cristina: All right, this plan works, then.

Jack: If we can replicate that portal, we can maybe just put that portal at the bottom of the catacombs. Oh, and make sure that the version we make is, like, hanging in that side.

Cristina: But we don't know where Mindscape came from.

Jack: We just got. I guess we got to really look into this portal.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: D***. We now got a reason. We could stop global warming. If we think about it.

Cristina: We're gonna use this portal for that. Just for poop.

Jack: For poop.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: We're gonna. We're gonna make a poop portal.

Cristina: Okay. That's all crazy, but if it randomly popped up in my backyard, I feel like there might be more random ones out there.

Jack: True. And they're. Fair enough. That is really solid thinking. We just didn't. We're like, I know it's a portal, but, like, there has to be more, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The question is, is it on Earth? How would we find these portals? I think Minecraft rules.

Cristina: Minecraft rules.

Jack: We have to enter your portal and exit through one of the others to see where it is.

Cristina: I don't know, because we don't know what's in there.

Jack: Subhumans are gonna be in there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Boom.

Cristina: Yep. We solved it. Okay.

Jack: Solved it. We're gonna send some subhumans through your portal and try to get them to come out any of the other portals and then contact us immediately. Unless at least a different universe entirely.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. Let's do that. Mm.

Jack: So I guess that's that. We figured it out and.

Cristina: Saved the day.

Jack: Save the day.

Cristina: With our poop.

Jack: With our poop. And, like, somehow we got here from a homeless man sticking his finger into your mouth.

Cristina: Not in my mouth.

Jack: In the mouth of our listeners.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. I don't know. It also let us have dead babies.

Jack: In the porta potties.

Cristina: In the porta potties. Yep. And who knows how many dead babies are out there.

Jack: And then we were revolutionizing toilets in the first place.

Cristina: And then that led us to the homeless people. Led us to the portal potties. That led us to the toilet.

Jack: Well, we were talking about, where do we home? Well, because homeless people. The problem is that homeless people take s**** Wherever. And you were like, in the porta Potties.

Cristina: Yeah. Then where did we get the whole. Let's not have toilets that splash water.

Jack: On our butts, because where do we go to, like, what's the difference between the Porta Potty? Like, a porta Pot is cleaner by default. Right. Because a public toilet, like, you're trying to not sit on the toilet seat, but, like, the water still splashing up.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And like, that shared toilet, that water is toxic. And I'm like, okay, we can solve that problem by making a new toilet.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Then I'm like, why would we just make new toy.

Cristina: Why don't we just revolutionize the homeless guy? The toilet.

Jack: The homeless guy.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And then the porta potty with the babies. And then the new toilet.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And then that led to the entire revamp of the sewage system, which then led to Poopzilla, which we found out in the fight with Godzilla. Godzilla can't win.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then we called in Mechazilla to take it to the moon, where then an entirely new civilization formed over millions of years. And they're at any moment gonna wage war. But we've carefully been watching them and holding them at bay. And to stop that from happening all over again, we're gonna make a new portal. After studying your portal and send the rest of the poop through there.

Cristina: So we're gonna have the sub humans explore that portal.

Jack: Yes. While the other sub humans are on a continuous war with the poop people of the moon.

Cristina: Okay, that sounds good.

Jack: Legit.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We've solved all the problems. Pollution is over.

Cristina: Yes. I feel like we found things on the moon before. Wasn't there something on the moon?

Jack: On the dark side of the moon. It's shared with the Chinese.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: I think there's aliens or demons or something.

Cristina: Exactly. Like, we've got quite a few things up there.

Jack: We're f****** up space. Like, that's pretty. What? Pretty much like, the more scientific and, like, advanced technologically we get, that's not.

Cristina: Where we put our prison. It wasn't the moon. It was Mars.

Jack: Mars.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Okay.

Jack: But no, there's s*** on the moon too. I'm, like, sure of it. We just haven't gone up there in so long. I don't remember.

Cristina: Like, the roaches, they come from the moon?

Jack: No, they were from Mars.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: That's why we on the replacement Mars, we created prisons that hold all kind of creatures.

Cristina: Yeah. All right.

Jack: And eventually some poop monsters will be there. Some people, I guess. I Guess they're not monsters. How disrespectful.

Cristina: It depends on what they evolve into.

Jack: Fair, fair. Anyways, I guess find out next time what they turn into people. Stay tuned. To be continued. What poop people turn to be. And you can find, I guess either last episode or two episodes ago, we were talking about Godzilla as well. And compete seeing what it could fight. And actually size comparison. We're doing size comparisons.

Cristina: If you. Giant snake like dragon, like monsters.

Jack: Yeah. If you ever seen this, the scaling things on YouTube. Like this star is that size. And this is like this galaxy is bigger than that. Like that thing. We did that.

Cristina: Yeah. With fictional dragons.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Starting all the way at like a griffin.

Cristina: That's not really it. I guess it counts because it has wings.

Jack: And it took us all the way through dragons to the biggest dragons, which is where we collected the super mega ultra awesome balls.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That we don't use because then life would be meaningless as f***. So, yeah, you can go check that out. You can find those episodes, any related episodes and a multitude of other episodes on the official website. Great thoughts.

Cristina: Like that episode about life also go check that out.

Jack: Oh, yes, the life checklist. And learn about it. And we'll try. We'll dig into that too. You can find that on the official website. Greatthoughts.info on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. Rate it. Leave us a rating. And if you want to, we won't force you necessarily, but you can leave us a review. We'd like those too.

Cristina: And let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes, especially the homeless guy. All he wanted was some connection and some intimacy. And, you know, you're a kinky f***** who likes to stick your finger in your girl's mouth. He was doing the same to you just to show you love.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: And that's when you caught AIDS and died.

Cristina: So how is he showing?

Jack: He didn't know he was gonna give you AIDS and you were gonna die.

Cristina: Oh, I mean, we're gonna give him cancer anyway.

Jack: Yeah, you f***** regardless. Like, you heard this episode. You're done.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Might as well suck on that homeless man finger.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Enjoy.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: New conspiracy. Netflix started the Pandemic because they didn't let it be in the award ceremony.

Cristina: It's their revenge.

Jack: Yeah. So now, nobody gets to be in the award ceremony unless the award ceremony is rewritten to allow all the things.

Cristina: That were not in theaters in theaters.

Jack: That's Netflix ripping it.

Cristina: That's their evil plan.

Jack: That's their genius plan.

Cristina: But how would Netflix, of all things, be able to do all this?

Jack: It just paid Raccoon City, like the people, the doctors in China. Raccoon City, China, to make the virus.

Cristina: That's exactly what paid for the virus.

Jack: Paid for the virus to be released.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: And they're like, the pandemic is gonna make everybody go inside and nobody's gonna go to theaters. And then everything that goes to theaters to get the awards, because it was in theaters, now it can't go to the wards, just like we can't go to the awards. So if they want it, they gotta rewrite the rules for years. People are gonna be too scared to go to theaters because the virus might still be out there. And so we win, everybody. Now we are the award show. Only if your movie came through our platform. And we might Only them. No, we might not even allow you to have your movie on our platform if you were gonna not let us be in your stupid f****** award show.

Cristina: Should be just that one director. Unless there's multiple directors who were like that.

Jack: No, I think it was just George Lucas. Right? It was just. So no Star wars on Netflix. I mean, they can't anyways.

Cristina: That goes to Disney.

Jack: Yep. So George Lucas can never be. Was this f****** part of it that they know.

Cristina: But then Disney needs to make their own award thing.

Jack: But it wouldn't matter because it's only Disney things. They're just patting themselves on.

Cristina: They could do that, I guess.

Jack: Nobody would give a s***. It Netflix won Netflix one. If they decide to make an award show about the shows and movies that are on Netflix, they f****** win. Not even originals, just things that could only be released when they get put there. Yeah, because where else are we gonna put them? And I already made them. And how are we gonna get the money back? We're gonna wait four years and go broke? No, they need to go somewhere. So we'll get Netflix to give us the money by putting it on Netflix.

Cristina: Now Netflix is making moves and making their own Hollywood areas.

Jack: That's crazy, dude. I'm telling you, this is part of the plan. Netflix is trying to take over.

Cristina: Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor, and Published by Great Thoughts.info Art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media, managed by Amber Black.

Rambling 137: The Woodsman vs The Griffin

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Will our human instincts get us in trouble more often than they will help us? And would God’s Zilla beat a Griffin in a fight? The duo make it their duty to unpack and resolve some of the most pressing issues about size and survival when it comes to creatures of all types, including human huntsman and gods.

Rambling 137: The Woodsman vs The Griffin

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed

  • The Woodsman
  • Axe Killer
  • Japan Sinks Spoilers
  • Survival Instincts
  • Mermaids vs Mermen
  • Ireland isn’t Real
  • Talking Birds
  • Link’s Sword
  • The Garden of Eden
  • God’s Zilla
  • Men Over Women
  • Bird vs Griffin
  • Shenron
  • World Serpent
  • Unicorn Magic
  • Cybertron

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod

Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod


+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Cristina: Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And I'm Jack.

Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Jack: And also, this show is most enjoyable with listening partners, so be sure to go find somebody while you're traveling in through the woods or wherever you usually casually stroll through with your knife. Right. You're always in the woods with some kind of dangerous tool or something, because that's what our listeners do. They turn. Their ipods are brand new, you know, state of the art ipod or their Zune. A lot of people have their Zune.

Cristina: What is a Zune?

Jack: It's like the failed ripoff MP3 players.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So like, a lot of people, they don't even have ipods. They're just. Everybody's checking out on their Zunes, listening to the Just Conversation podcast on their Zune and they connect it and they're walking through the woods. Some people have a whole boombox. I remember that too. Some people just had a boombox that they were like blasting. But you're finding random teenagers who are camping in the woods with your boombox and. Or your Zune and some headphones and a knife or a machete or an axe that you just happen to also be wandering through. And when you see the kids, you just full fledged, just start dashing in their direction with all the force, all the force you have. You just dash as fast as you can towards them to tell them, hey, you guys can listen to this.

Cristina: What?

Jack: It's great.

Cristina: That is so horrifying.

Jack: It's great. The first thought they're gonna have is, we want to listen to that show.

Cristina: We want to listen to that.

Jack: We want to listen to that show. He seems so convinced we should listen.

Cristina: He looks so excited. Is he running towards them with a smile on his face?

Jack: Yes, with a smile on his face. A Zune or a boombox in one hand and an axe in the other. Just because he's just in case. You never know what's going to attack you in the woods. So you know, he has electronics. If something attacks him, he's there, he has defense. But he's like, hey, a bunch of campers. And I'm assuming you usually roam the woods, which is why, you know, to have an axe in the first place. So you probably like got a scraggly beard and you've got like a bunch of dirty like woods type clothing, but.

Cristina: Type clothing?

Jack: Yeah. Like. Like you've been out there for a while so you're not necessarily city ready but you're kind looking guy. Maybe you hunt yourself. So you use that same axe to hunt. So it's got some blood from an animal on it or whatever.

Cristina: Maybe.

Jack: Yeah. And maybe you got some blood on yourself from having just hunted a deer and you're coming from.

Cristina: Hunts a deer with an ax.

Jack: He hunts a deer with an axe. Because he is a solid deer hunter.

Cristina: What kind of deer hunter? That's a really skilled.

Jack: He's a beast, bro. He's a pro. He runs out there and just flings the axe and catches the deer. First shot in the head.

Cristina: Is he a character from a video game?

Jack: He could be. He's the. The warrior from Gauntlet.

Cristina: He's a war. Okay.

Jack: And he just sees a deer from far. He's far as. But he's such a good axe thrower that he at a distance predicts where that deer's head is gonna be, throws it and then one shots the deer in the head.

Cristina: That is amazing. I wish these kids saw that. But they just see the aftermath.

Jack: They just see him after he just finished taking the deer. He's gonna go home to get the equipment to go skin and you know, prepare the deer. And as he's going home, he sees a bunch of kids who just pulled up, put their tents down and stuff. And he's just wandering and. And he has his boombox and he has his. His axe and he sees the kids and he just starts dashing towards them like people. How exciting. I can show them the show. And he just starts.

Cristina: Because we just said, hey, go tell someone about it.

Jack: Yeah. Just as he saw them.

Cristina: As he saw. Yeah.

Jack: And so he's just. Wow, what a. What are the chances that I would be at this part of the episode.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: When I see a bunch of kids and so just full, full dash. Full dash. Totally as fast as he can in their direction.

Cristina: Wow, that's an incredible story. I hope this is real. I hope this is happening right now, man.

Jack: Do you think it's happening right now? F****** amazing.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: I wonder how often there is a. What was the name of that movie where the kids were just hanging out in the woods and there were the two guys who were just like. Like lumberjacks or whatever?

Cristina: Yeah, I don't remember. They had some plain a** names.

Jack: Yeah, it was like Dale and some s***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Evil.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I forget the name of it, but, like, I'm sure that's happened. Not really, man. Maybe somebody died just because they thought it was. Is the problem is people do crazy s*** when they're scared?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And that's a problem. People react f****** nuts, you know?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: People get crazy when they're scared and they do crazy s***. People in panic are completely irrational.

Cristina: Yes. Like those children.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Wait, no. Are those. Who are. Who's the crazy people right now?

Jack: The kids, the teenagers in the. In the movie, I guess. And in the case of our. Our woodsman traveling while listening to the show the Children, I guess he has a Zune, right? Because if they heard. If he has a boombox and they heard him. Yeah, they heard that part because he's close enough to see them and there's nothing else happening in the woods, which means the boombox would echo pretty nicely.

Cristina: So it shouldn't be a boombox.

Jack: It shouldn't be a boombox. This is the guy who is actually traveling with his brand new Zun.

Cristina: All right?

Jack: And the reason he has a Zune is because he's a woodsman and he's not caught up on technology. It all makes sense now.

Cristina: Of course.

Jack: Yes. So he's on his Zune, hears it all. They see it. They don't even see the Zune because it's so small. They just see a dude with an ax that's bloody, covered, like, covered with blood. His outfit is covered with blood.

Cristina: Where's the deer?

Jack: He left the deer.

Cristina: Where he left the deer?

Jack: He left the deer because he. What the f*** is he gonna do? Carry the deer? Yeah, like how big a deer is? He's got to go get the things to chop the deer up. Oh, he killed the deer. Now he's gonna get the things and gonna go clean the deer up.

Cristina: How does he make sure that other animals don't steal the deer?

Jack: He's not gonna be gone forever.

Cristina: Yeah, but I don't know how far he is from where he needs to go.

Jack: I'm assuming he's not just hunting way far away from home. Like, he's a. I'm sure he's prepared for this because otherwise he just hunted way the f*** far away, didn't really think it through, and is gonna lose what he killed.

Cristina: He throws an axe at the deer. That's so crazy.

Jack: That's how trained he is.

Cristina: Carry the deer home.

Jack: It's huge. A deer is f****** huge. A deer is easily 400, £500.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: That sounds crazy. Oh, my gosh okay.

Jack: Yeah. Okay, Fair enough. Let's find out.

Cristina: Okay. It says that usually 130 to 300 pounds, but there have been reports of over 350 pounds.

Jack: That's crazy. Fair enough. 130 pounds. A, like, jacked enough guy could definitely carry that. So I guess in theory, he could carry. He could carry the deer.

Cristina: If it's 300, though.

Jack: Yeah, that's a little harder. And plus, the distance, Even if it's £130, the distance he'll be carrying it, it's more efficient to grab what you need.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Then take the whole f****** deer. Yeah, like, you don't need the head. That's added weight. The legs, added weight. But also, you don't want to just carry, like, a mangled corpse.

Cristina: Yeah, but he shouldn't just leave the deer there. I think he should hang it on a tree, which is cool, because if the kids do run and they run through the forest, they see the deer up in the tree, I mean, he's.

Jack: Not trying to scare the kids.

Cristina: I know, but it's just a horrifying moment for the kids, too.

Jack: Yeah, that would just be highly inconvenient if he was also doing that.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But actually, I think that's how you drain the deer of blood in the first place. You do things like that. Like, you hang it up. So maybe he did.

Cristina: He did.

Jack: He probably hung it up so that it would, like, bleed out so that.

Cristina: How much horrifying is that then? Like, it's just a bloody mess. With a deer hanging on a tree.

Jack: Probably with the deer, usually they cut the deer's neck so that it bleeds out through its neck. Because you hang it from its legs so that the blood comes downward towards its main artery. And so you cut its neck so that it would bleed out the most.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And drain it. And then you come and cut it down and take the meat you want from it. So it's completely possible that there is a deer hanging and as he's dashing towards the children, but they would be running away from him, and he's coming from the deer. So they wouldn't see the deer anyways until they circle back around.

Cristina: Yeah, if they have to do that.

Jack: If they have to. Yeah. So for whatever reason, these kids, they panic.

Cristina: They definitely panic.

Jack: They do. They shouldn't, though, because he's just trying to get them to listen to the show. It ain't that serious. It's just a show. It's a podcast.

Cristina: But if you see this man, do not run from him.

Jack: But also, if you see this man, and you're hearing us tell you not to run from him, you're probably also looking for somebody to listen to the show.

Cristina: Yeah. So then you do walk. You listen to the show with him.

Jack: Well, no, because you're both listening to the show already. You need to get somebody else.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Yeah. Then again, it doesn't say, find somebody who isn't already listening to the show.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: Yeah. Just says, get a listening partner.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: So fair enough. If you're both listening to this and you know that the other interesting. If you're one of the kids in the woods who's already listening to the show.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And the guy in the woods starts.

Cristina: Running towards you, you listen to the show with us. Well, we.

Jack: We've straight up told you about the guy running towards you.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Which is weird because we would predict such a thing. So the guy in the woods is like, wow, this is, like, highly specific. And about me, while the kid who's listening in the woods while his friends are just, like, f****** inside of a tent or whatever they're doing, he's thinking the same thing. He's like, yeah, this is, like, weirdly specific.

Cristina: Yeah. So they run towards each other. What does his friends think when they see him running towards the man with an axe?

Jack: Like the fact that he's not running away. Yeah, they're just like, he. He. He suggested we come here. Whatever's about to happen, he's f****** in on it. Of course he said we should come to the woods. He begged us. We don't even like the woods or city kids. But he told us, hey, man, come on, let's. And now he's just chilling there. We see this maniac with an axe running towards us, man.

Cristina: This is that movie, though, because he's gonna. He's gonna end up, like, tripping in front of the guy, getting killed from the ax or something. And then they're gonna be like, oh, my gosh, he tried to protect us, and then he died.

Jack: Who?

Cristina: The kid.

Jack: The kid who already knows?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I feel like he's the one who's not gonna die.

Cristina: Then again, if he accidentally died in front, like, while he was running to the guy with the axe.

Jack: But why would he. If the guy's holding the axe, they would both have to trip.

Cristina: Oh, then maybe they do trip. I'm just thinking of the movie that it just happened like that.

Jack: But this isn't the movie. This is real life.

Cristina: Oh, this is real life.

Jack: This is real life. This isn't. The events from that Movie.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: But if somehow that kid did happen to die, I'm not sure why he would, but if he did, now this guy doesn't have somebody to listen with, which means he has to chase one of these other kids down. And he knows he needs a listening partner. So now he has a pause. He just stops. He's like, f***, I know this kid was listening. I saw his ipod.

Jack: And so he wraps up his. He takes his headphones off, he pauses the show, he does whatever due to a Zune to lock it so it doesn't hit play accidentally. He wraps it up, puts it in his pocket. I have no idea. He puts it in his pocket and then he just starts dashing behind one of his kids because he needs somebody to listen with.

Cristina: Yes, because I forgot the many reasons. I don't know. He dies, someone in his family dies, someone gets cancer. He gets cancer. I don't know.

Jack: What are we talking about?

Cristina: Like if you don't get someone to listen to a show, what happens if.

Jack: You don't get somebody to listen to the show? I'm going to harm your children. Oh, yes, Your children are in danger. Later you'll be in danger too. But I'm gonna make sure to hit you emotionally first.

Cristina: Was part of it somehow.

Jack: Well, no. Everybody who listens gets cancer.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: So yeah, both of these people have cancer anyways.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: Because they heard the show.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's just an inevitability.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Actually, anybody listening to the show, if you're hearing this part of the. Actually, if you heard the show at all, I'm just reminding you right now, you have cancer.

Cristina: You have cancer. Yeah. So you got to continue listening.

Jack: Yeah. At this point you already got cancer. Commitment.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Just commit. You already got cancer for listening to the show. Commit.

Cristina: Do we have cancer?

Jack: No, because we don't listen to the show.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: We're immune.

Cristina: Alright.

Jack: It's something about listening to the show without being here live in the studio with us that gives you cancer. Yeah, it's kind of like 5G towers.

Cristina: I was thinking of 5G and how it related. I had no clue how, though.

Jack: I don't know how either. I just know that it'll give you cancer. Like if it was 5G.

Cristina: Like if it was 5G. I thought somehow our voices gave out 5G or something. I don't know.

Jack: I don't know either. It's very interesting. Maybe it's a combination of our voices and some electronic listening device.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That creates some sort of gene mutation that then causes cancer.

Cristina: Yeah. And somehow relates to the 5G towers. Yes.

Jack: Well, it's similar to whatever the 5G towers are causing. It's not necessarily related to the 5G towers, but it's like whatever frequency they're causing, we're causing.

Cristina: Whoa.

Jack: The mixture of our voice frequencies and the electronic device that's projecting our voice.

Cristina: That's crazy. So this deer man hunts some children.

Jack: I mean, he's not hunting children.

Cristina: Oh, yeah, he's not hunting children. It just looks like he's hunting children.

Jack: No, it looks like he's trying to get somebody to listen to the show.

Cristina: If they know what he's doing. But he looks like he's hunting children.

Jack: I don't know. I'm not in their head.

Cristina: You're not in the children, or I guess whoever is looking at the children being chased by this man.

Jack: Yeah. Or the children. I don't. I have no idea what any. Like, I know he's chasing the children to get somebody to listen to the show. I'm not sure why I should think about anything else. Oh, I know. His intentions are pure and noble.

Cristina: Yes, but what do you think the children are thinking?

Jack: I don't know. Depends on the kid.

Cristina: You think any of them are like, yeah, he accidentally killed my friend. I should go listen to the show.

Jack: I think the kid who died died at random.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Because the woodsman would be totally distraught if he knew that that kid died. The kid must have died completely out of his sight. Nevertheless.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Because, like, it must have been that the kid was running towards the woodsman and he felt like down a hole and hit his head and died or some s***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: While the woodsman was running towards the other kids without seeing that there was somebody else was listening to the show. Because if he knew the other kid died, he's a good guy. He's not a bad guy.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: He would just immediately go to help. He'd probably stop positive, like, he's a good guy. Just pause, stop the show and, like, call the cops or some s***.

Cristina: But he didn't see it happen.

Jack: Didn't see it happen.

Cristina: But did they see it happen?

Jack: They probably saw it happen. They don't think he killed the kid. No, they just know the kid died.

Cristina: That's crazy, though. Those are two crazy events happening one after another.

Jack: What's the other crazy event other than him dying?

Cristina: The guy with an axe running towards them?

Jack: Oh, I guess. But that's not like a guy trying to kill you. That's just a guy running towards you trying to get you to listen to.

Cristina: A show, but they don't know that it's just a guy with an Axe.

Jack: Yeah, 100%. If you saw a guy running towards you with an axe, you wouldn't just think he's trying to get you to listen to a podcast?

Cristina: No.

Jack: What are you gonna think? Why are you gonna think something crazy?

Cristina: Cuz that looks crazy.

Jack: Based on what? When have you experienced a guy running towards you with an axe being something dangerous?

Cristina: Well, he's covered in blood, so that's pretty scary.

Jack: Hunters, butchers, soldiers, all the time covered in blood.

Cristina: They don't go running towards normal people.

Jack: If somebody had a broken. Like there's a horrible accident somewhere.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And somebody survived, first thing they're gonna do is find the first person that can help or anybody who isn't involved and tell them.

Cristina: But this guy's running with a smile on his face.

Jack: Yeah, he's super excited.

Cristina: Exactly. That's even more scary.

Jack: Is it less scary than if somebody has a horrified look on their face running towards you with an axe?

Cristina: Well, if he's covered in blood, maybe that's more normal because, like, oh, some kind of accident did happen and that's why he looks so upset.

Jack: Fair enough.

Cristina: While he's smiling, it's like he did something and he wants to, I don't know, do it again.

Jack: But why do you think. I mean, obviously he did something. But, like, who says it's something bad?

Cristina: The blood is just assumed.

Jack: It's just assumed. It's animal blood. You're in the worst.

Cristina: How do I know?

Jack: How do you know it's not?

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know.

Jack: Just assuming the worst.

Cristina: Yes. I saw the guy go missing. It could be his fault somehow.

Jack: What, the other kid?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: What?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Why? You just saw the kid randomly fall.

Cristina: That's like. What's that show called? The Japanese Japan is thinking when the girl just fell. Oh, my God, she died.

Jack: That. That s*** scarred the f*** out of me, bro. That was the crate. Out of all the s*** that happened, that was the one that I was like. Because I didn't know what the f*** happened. It's like a moment of what?

Cristina: Yeah, I had to rewind it when I saw that. Yeah, but the dad's death was crazier. I don't know. I know they're equally crazy. I don't. It's hard to raise.

Jack: I don'. Yeah, it was totally unexpected. I truly believed this show was gonna be about the daughter and the father. But he's the first guy to die.

Cristina: Yeah, but I feel like, he was one of the first characters. Although I guess each member of the family was the first one of the first characters to be introduced, so you would think they were the ones to survive the whole thing. But no, just one person. No two people, I guess. Yeah.

Jack: We just spoiled the s*** out of this. For anybody listening. That's old spoilers after the fact. But the girl falling into the hole was a crazy one. Not even a hole. It was like a hill.

Cristina: It was just a hill. She was just running and she didn't even fall.

Jack: She just slid down there.

Cristina: Yep.

Jack: And then she's just thrown on the floor, collapsed. It's like, what the f*** happened? And you don't know what happened?

Cristina: No.

Jack: So nuts.

Cristina: But you know not to go there. That's horrifying. Yeah, man. The character, the main character was so close to die at that moment.

Jack: Character's pretty close. Dang.

Cristina: A lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That show was pretty epic.

Jack: Yeah. Anybody and everybody should f****** watch Japan Sinks.

Cristina: Yes. It gets a little weird with the whole psychic s***. Psychic, yes. Yes.

Jack: That got strange.

Cristina: It did get strange, but it's pretty epic otherwise. Otherwise, yes.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty badass show. But that being said about these kids, like, I think that's a problem people have where they do make assumptions all the time. They think that whatever initial thought they had makes sense. We have a problem of doing that in society.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And doesn't really make sense because you don't have, like, a basis for that. Like, what. What the f*** are really the odds?

Cristina: It's instincts. It's protecting us.

Jack: Is it, though? A lot of the time, instincts is why we do s*** that hurts other people. That guy runs towards you and gets close enough, you panic attack him.

Cristina: And he was innocent.

Jack: And he was innocent.

Cristina: That's true.

Jack: So is it protecting you or is it harming other people?

Cristina: Maybe. Once upon a time, though, it was helping.

Jack: Yes. But now we have. We're having trouble of getting rid of these bugs or adjusting them because getting rid of it entirely, then that means we're always introduced to danger and we could easily be killed.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: But we're having trouble adjusting them to the new world.

Cristina: Definitely.

Jack: That's also why societies are highly antisocial, because we don't know how to really, truly detect danger. We think everything is dangerous all the time.

Cristina: Yes, man. But there are a lot of dangerous things out there. I don't know.

Jack: The point of society is that everything isn't dangerous. I guess it's the protective bubble.

Cristina: We lost that society thing. That protective bubble, it's too big to be protective. No, no.

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Like the society is like really big.

Jack: Right. That means more safe.

Cristina: More safe. I feel like people are used to small bubbles that can protect them.

Jack: What's the average number of killers inside of a city? There's three million people.

Cristina: Three million people?

Jack: Yeah. Let's say New York City. Three million people?

Jack: Is there a thousand killers in that city?

Cristina: A thousand.

Jack: A thousand?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: Probably not.

Cristina: How much do you think?

Jack: Way the f*** less. I would be blown the f*** away if there was a hundred killers. Like normally killing out in the open where you could see it happen and. Oh, well, it's dangerous.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Killers that you can legitimately say danger and know it's danger.

Jack: There's not really a lot. Why? Because we got cops. Because we have structure. We have cameras. We have too many people walking around. The number of people on average that are good that would just rat somebody doing some crazy s*** out.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The society is protective inherently. So there's way more people that are way more safe. Now let's say you have a village of just 30 people. One of them is a killer.

Cristina: What though, Right?

Jack: How easy is it for that guy to just pick people out?

Cristina: Probably pretty easy.

Jack: Pretty f****** easy. So yeah, you have a smaller group, but you're way the f*** less safe. Yeah, way less safe. Especially if the killer is from within your community. If the killer is within the community in New York, how hard is it for him to take a life on average, based on the number of people. Right. The percentage of life he's taking is insignificant and he's likely to get caught quickly.

Cristina: Has there ever been a serial killer in New York?

Jack: There's been a couple.

Cristina: A couple? Yeah, it's New York.

Jack: But in the case of a small village, every life you take is a huge f****** percentage of the whole thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And you also got way less chance of getting caught because every person you take is a significant decrease in people to hunt you down.

Cristina: Well, yeah.

Jack: So like a big society, definitely the way to go.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: It's inherently safe.

Cristina: Then what's wrong with people? Why are they so scared?

Jack: Because we haven't worked out the bullshit that's in our system from that time.

Cristina: When it was just 30 people.

Jack: Yeah. We still have instincts that were trying to get us to survive when there were f****** lions hidden in the bushes and s***. And anything we don't understand, we gotta be suspicious of anybody. We don't know.

Cristina: Everyone's become the lion.

Jack: Yeah, everybody's a lion.

Cristina: Well.

Jack: And so we still have that paranoia while traveling in the safest time ever.

Cristina: Mmm. But we can't all feel that way. I mean, maybe I feel that way, but there's gotta be a huge number of people that don't feel that way.

Jack: Yeah. I mean, you still have the thing, but the rational mind should compensate. So if you see a guy running towards you with an axe, although it's like, holy s***, this is weird and crazy.

Cristina: I should just be like, eh.

Jack: The consciousness thinking side of you should take over and be like. Like what are the odds really? It's probably just a huntsman or somebody who is out here doing something. I doubt. And there's more of us than there are of him where we just start running. If something crazy happened, we just all simultaneous attack. He can't beat all of us. But also we have no reason to attack. We'll just wait until he tries something stupid.

Cristina: Okay. And then if he just stops and then swings at us, that's when we do something.

Jack: Yeah. Then you know, but otherwise it's like, it's probably just a guy.

Cristina: Just a guy who.

Jack: Yeah. You don't have any reason to immediately panic.

Cristina: Yes. Okay.

Jack: I guess the rational mind should always.

Cristina: Compensate the rational mind. I don't have that. It's so scary to imagine a man running towards you with a smile, covered in blood and a bleak. Holding an axe.

Jack: It's just about being level headed really. Just learn to be level headed in moments of high tension.

Cristina: How do you practice that?

Jack: By exercising your rational mind. Yeah. It's not that difficult. You just got to think more than you feel.

Cristina: Yeah. Because not everything is dangerous.

Jack: Not everything is dangerous. No.

Cristina: It reminds me of mermaids and mermands. Mermen, Merman and mermaids.

Jack: How does it remind you of mermaids?

Cristina: Because mermaids are seen as. Mermaids are dangerous. But mermands bring you luck actually. Or good luck. But if you think of it as a dangerous thing, you might hurt it.

Jack: A merman.

Cristina: A merman.

Jack: Why are mermaids evil and mermen not?

Cristina: Because I don't know what makes the difference. I don't know. Mermen want to give you mermen. Mermen work like genies.

Jack: I mean, I guess they kind of look like a genie, but instead of being like half ghost, it's like half fish.

Cristina: Yeah. And he grants you wishes if you find him. But mermaids want to drown you. For some reason they love murdering people.

Jack: Because mermaids are basically sirens, right?

Cristina: Yeah. And sirens are like the same as mermaids. Yeah, they like to kill fishermen and stuff. They like to sing, and the song that they sing usually ends up killing fishermen. I don't know why. I don't know if they eat these people or what they do with them, or they enjoy watching the dead bodies, like, float down, like some type of decoration.

Jack: What? There's no, like. I mean, they have to be doing something. It can't just be like we murder for fun. What the f*** are they? Dolphins?

Cristina: Yes. Maybe they are dolphins. Yes.

Jack: They're kind of like dolphins. Fair enough.

Cristina: They're the dolphins of. They're human dolphins.

Jack: I don't know what the f*** is a. Is a mermaid just what you. Because a dolphin is a mammal.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is a mermaid a f****** chimera?

Cristina: What is chimera?

Jack: Chimera is like a hybrid animal.

Cristina: It doesn't have to be made through science or anything. Right. Or does it? I don't know what a chimera.

Jack: I'm just saying. Basically, some dude jumped into the ocean and f***** a dolphin.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Or a dolphin who's more prone to raping.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Raped some chick. And the chick gave birth to a mermaid.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And that happened twice. And one of them was a merman. And then the mermaid. And the mermaid created their own species by f****** each other.

Cristina: By f****** each other. Yes. There's also these creatures called fin folk, which I assume are just mermaids with different names. And they like to have sex with people and that somehow keeps their life long.

Jack: They don't reproduce. They just f*** people and then they live longer.

Cristina: Yes. Yes. They just. Sex with humans equals longer life.

Jack: Interesting. I've never heard of fin folk.

Cristina: Yeah, that's in Scotland and Ireland.

Jack: Seems like they have all the things.

Cristina: They have all the things. But they say that if you practice the Bible, it'll stop the Finn folk from stepping on dry land.

Jack: What does practicing the Bible mean?

Cristina: I don't know. Reading the Bible, knowing what God is telling you, being a good Christian person.

Jack: Right. So if you're a good Christian, they won't bother you.

Cristina: Yes. That's the answer to most of these solutions of dealing with anything. Yes.

Jack: It seems like everything in Ireland was designed by the Catholic Church.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: All of it. There's nothing that exists in Ireland. Isn't a real place. The Catholic Church made Ireland up.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's where we're at. They've made. So like every story that exists in this fictional place called Ireland came from f******. It's just another story.

Cristina: Ireland is a fictional location.

Jack: Ireland is like the Bible. It was just made up by the Catholic Church. Yes, that's where we are. That's. That's what I believe.

Cristina: Don't you know people from Ireland.

Jack: I've never been to Ireland. They probably convinced. I don't know if they. I don't know people in Ireland. I know people who think they've been to Ireland. And it's like people who've been to some of these other places. You could just be told the plane landed there, but there's no f****** such place. How do you know? You're not flying the plane and the guy flying the plane is a government shill.

Cristina: And what about the people of Ireland? Are they also.

Jack: There's nobody who's a person of Ireland. It's everybody being lied to that there's a place called Ireland.

Cristina: What?

Jack: But there's no such. There's no such place as Ireland. I refuse.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: Because the Catholic Church made it up.

Cristina: They didn't.

Jack: There's no such thing as Ireland.

Cristina: I don't know. There's an Irish saint, though, that traveled to look for the island of paradise, which. I'm not sure what the island of paradise is. I think that's where the Garden of Eve is hidden or something. Is it called Eve? The Garden of Eden? Of Eden, yes. That's probably where that's hidden. I don't know.

Jack: It's somewhere. It's either on an island or a section of Africa.

Cristina: Oh, okay. On his travel, he found the paradise of birds where there were birds singing and praising God.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: Yeah. And they told him to travel for seven years and then come back, and then he'll be holy enough to find the island of paradise.

Jack: So I'm so confused by that.

Cristina: Sorry, What? That he wanted to look for the island of paradise.

Jack: Right.

Cristina: And he found a bird. Island of paradise for birds. And the birds were singing for God. And then I guess they told him, hey, in seven years, you'll be able to be holy enough to see the island.

Jack: So these were talking birds?

Cristina: Yeah, they were talking.

Jack: They found an island of birds that are kind of like Scooby Doo.

Cristina: Yes. No. Well, I don't know. They were singing and praising God. That's all they were doing.

Jack: Then how. Then who told him?

Cristina: A bird.

Jack: So it's a f****** talking bird?

Cristina: Yeah, I guess. Yes. They're talking birds.

Jack: This is an island of talking birds. Were they all parrots?

Cristina: Possibly.

Jack: But then these parrots who haven't been introduced to society just knew English.

Cristina: Yes. They know the word of the Bible. Someone preached. There was a bird preacher preaching Bible. I mean, church stuff to the birds and they were all doing their church. He just happens to be there on Sunday.

Jack: It was a Sunday? I don't know, it probably was.

Cristina: It was a Sunday and they were just having their Bible lessons and he came and they were like, nah, you gotta wait seven years.

Jack: Kind of like Link.

Cristina: He had only seven years.

Jack: Yeah. He was too young to pull out the master sword or to use the master sword. So when he pulled the master sword, he got encompassed in the chamber of Sages. And then the sages told him, you are going to. It's going to be a blink of an eye to you. But seven years would have passed on the outside for you to be old enough to wield this sword. And when you get out, you're gonna be the right age, as if you aged. But it's gonna be like a. You're gonna be out there in a second, but you're gonna be an adult.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And now you'll be able to wield a sword at that age.

Cristina: Wouldn't he be super weak and stuff like still have the strength of a child?

Jack: No, he's a grown man.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: His body grew to that of a grown man.

Cristina: Yeah, but he wasn't doing anything. But he wasn't doing anything for that seven years. He was just standing there.

Jack: The sword gave him the power necessary to have the body.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: It did everything as if he was in there bench pressing the whole time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Is over here. He bench pressing.

Cristina: He wasn't starving to death at. When he.

Jack: No, he's wet. He's like ripped. He got out there cocky as anything.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: And he had all the muscles and all the strength to do everything he had to do.

Cristina: And.

Jack: And he just walked out with the master sword and killed everything he had to kill effortlessly. And so sort of the same thing happened.

Cristina: He had a child's brain at least though.

Jack: Yes. That's the f***** up part, right? That's the part that blows my mind because like the date ages brain too. In which case it's not even the same person.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's weird, right?

Cristina: I mean it would be an adult's brain, but no, the memories would all be still child memories. They didn't give him new memories of.

Jack: The experience was his own.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah.

Jack: He didn't implant anything. Which means by default, even in his mind he's still like 12.

Cristina: He's still 12 in a man's body.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the body cannot wield a sword. But he's still an immature a** child.

Cristina: Yeah, but he was never immature either.

Jack: He was never immature. Interesting. He was particularly mature for his age.

Cristina: Ah, I guess that helps.

Jack: Yes. So maybe he already had a mind. Way ahead and in becoming a man. Right. He's immature, but not by much. If he's like 10 to 12, but his maturity is like 16, then you add seven years and he's like 19, but he's like 17. Maturity wise, he's not like far off. Yeah, so he's like still kind of where he needs to be. Maturity wise, he was centered enough from the two points that at his young age he was mature for his age. And at his grown age he was just slightly immature for his age. Yeah, but it wasn't like that.

Cristina: But all he needed was to be the right age to hold the sword.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Nothing else.

Jack: Nothing else. He needed to have a certain amount of strength and willpower. That was it.

Cristina: But he already had that.

Jack: Yeah, he had the willpower.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Which is why he could pull the sword out in the first place.

Cristina: Yeah. And this guy needed to be holy enough for this island. I wonder what's on the island. It's probably. If it's like the bird island, then there's just saints who are singing and praising to God. So I don't know what's so interesting about finding the island.

Jack: There should be nobody on that island. Why the Garden of Eden?

Cristina: Well, if it's. Yeah, yeah. It was a story from another saint who found the island. First he found the island, he told him about it and then he went on the search.

Jack: But this other saint to found the island.

Cristina: What happened?

Jack: This other saint that found the island, what about him? That's what I'm asking. What about him?

Cristina: He found the island like.

Jack: But he must have stayed on the island if he left the island after he found it.

Cristina: Oh yeah.

Jack: It's still just an empty island.

Cristina: Empty island. Yeah, that's true.

Jack: It's just f******. Hey, there's an island.

Cristina: That's weird. I guess it's just an attraction. You find it and then you leave. Because he. After he found it, he left.

Jack: What do you want to do there alone?

Cristina: I don't know. There's something I don't get. What's the point? Seven years to see this island and then leave.

Jack: Well, in theory. In theory, the fruit of knowledge is there.

Cristina: So he eats the fruit and then you know, everything. And then you know. But the sad part is that once he gets home, he dies. That's how his story ends. But maybe that other guy who ate the fruit continues to live on.

Jack: And the other guy ate the fruit?

Cristina: I don't know. We're assuming that anyone who visits the islands eats the fruit.

Jack: So maybe the saint ate the fruit too. He got there, ate the fruit, left, and then f****** died.

Cristina: Yeah, maybe someone killed him. I think it was murder.

Jack: Could be. It could be that there are people just killing anybody who takes the fruit.

Cristina: That's crazy.

Jack: Hitmen from God.

Cristina: Hitmen from God? What? The Church is doing it.

Jack: The Church is doing it. Did the Church make up the island too?

Cristina: I don't know. But then why would they make up the story of the guy who found the island and then died in the end?

Jack: To find people who are seeking the truth and off them before they get to any other truth.

Cristina: Oh, it's a trap. It's a trap.

Jack: It's a trap by the church. It's like people who try to find Ireland kill them. You kill anybody who tries to find Ireland? It's not a real place. And you can't have anybody reporting that.

Cristina: Why? What about these magical creatures from Ireland?

Jack: Well, you need those stories to exist, so you can't have anybody tell anybody else. There's no island for that to even be true. So the Church needs to off anybody who finds out that these things are a lie. The same way there is no Garden of Eden. So when people go and they find the exact location and they do find this island and find out this is just a normal island.

Cristina: You think that's what he found?

Jack: Yeah, that's why they leave. It's not paradise. It's just a f****** island. And then they leave. And then the church is like, he knows.

Cristina: He knows. Whoa. Maybe he knows, man. But his journey besides that is pretty crazy. He saw a sea monster. There was a sea monster trying to attack the ship. And then God saved them by sending another sea monster to fight off that sea monster. Kills it.

Jack: Story of Godzilla is real.

Cristina: Yes. Godzilla. Okay. What would fight Godzilla? Or is Godzilla the one fighting?

Jack: Well, no, it's a giant. Yeah. Godzilla is like God's Zilla.

Cristina: Okay. Yes. The Kraken was attacking their ship and God's zilla. Godzilla came, fought it, killed it, then they ate the monster.

Jack: So everybody had, like, enough food forever. Yeah, it was like, a lot.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: In any case, Godzilla is a misinterpretation because it is g O D not dash hyphen S. Zilla. His name is Zilla.

Cristina: His name is Zilla.

Jack: He's not a Godzilla. He's Gods. Zilla?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: God sent Zilla.

Cristina: Yes. He sent Zilla to fight off the sea monster. And then they Ate the sea monster because why wouldn't you eat.

Jack: Did they share some of it with Zilla as an offering?

Cristina: Probably. They couldn't eat that whole thing.

Jack: There's no f****** way. Right. And Zilla needs to eat before he goes back to whatever the f*** he was doing.

Cristina: Yes. I wonder what he's doing.

Jack: Just sleeping. He hibernates.

Cristina: He hibernates.

Jack: He waits until God tells him to do stuff.

Cristina: I'm sure he's singing and praising God like the birds.

Jack: Yes. In some underground Atlantis like place.

Cristina: Yes. Where the mermaids are.

Jack: Where the mermaids are. Well, the mermen.

Cristina: The mermen.

Jack: Only mermen. They're all gay for each other. And they hang out with Zilla while the mermaids are committing evil atrocities. Because women. That's what they do.

Cristina: That's what they do.

Jack: Women are just evil inherently.

Cristina: Because of Eve. Yes, because of Eve.

Jack: We're getting to. We're getting to this episode. We're getting to the bottom of things. All the pieces are coming together. Eve invented evil. Adam didn't touch the apple.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then we know that a guy dolphin f*****, raped, raped some chick in the water and she gave birth to a half fish, half woman. And then this happened in two different instances. And then the other one was half man, half fish.

Cristina: In which they could have babies.

Jack: Yes. And then they found each other and, you know, typical relationship things. They f***, they had babies, but they were incompatible. He was like, man, she's kind of cruel and mean and like. We breaking up.

Cristina: Yes. So the other guys stay together. All the girls stay together.

Jack: Yeah. They did the south park thing where it's like these women are just murdering other humans. We love humans. We use our powers for good. They use the powers to lure them in and kill them.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And so they just broke up. Atlantis is just a bunch of gay mermen. And Zilla.

Cristina: And Zilla.

Jack: And they take their word directly from God because God has no beef against the men. God's only beef is women, which the Bible tells us. Yes, The Bible explicitly says, f*** women. You rape women, you kill women. You trade women like property. But men, you all good. All you. You didn't eat the apple. You guys could. You didn't f*** anything else.

Cristina: You're all holy.

Jack: You're all holy. You haven't sinned yet.

Cristina: Nope.

Jack: And we know this. That's why all the priests get the pass.

Cristina: That's why all. Yes.

Jack: That's why all the priests get the pass. You guys didn't f*** up at the beginning, so now you get to pass the f*** up as much as you want. It's been millions of years. You guys can do whatever you want.

Cristina: Only those nuns that help them out get punished.

Jack: Yes, only the nuns. Any nun does anything, you're going straight to h***. All the priests can do whatever they want. And no matter what God's like, you did good for so long.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You could do whatever you want while.

Cristina: The nuns go crazy and cry like cats.

Jack: Yes. And bite people.

Cristina: And bite people.

Jack: And each other.

Cristina: And each other.

Jack: The nuns are going crazy, nuns are going crazy, priests. Now you get to do whatever you want. God approves.

Cristina: That's so crazy. Another crazy story is that they saw a griffin and a bird fight each other and the griffin died.

Jack: What was the size of this bird?

Cristina: I don't.

Jack: What the f***.

Cristina: It was a parrot from that island.

Jack: Right. Just all the powers of God given to it.

Cristina: Exactly.

Jack: That parrot showed up. I mean, is a griffin a demon at this point?

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: And it's like that bird showed up and because it could say, the power of Christ compels you. That griffin just went down, all its magic gone, boom, Flat into the ground.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That parrot. Power of Christ compels.

Cristina: Yeah, that's exactly how it sounded like.

Jack: Yup.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh. What an epic battle.

Jack: It was so short, too.

Cristina: It was so short.

Jack: It was the shortest, most epic battle. That griffin was doing crazy flight maneuvers and the parrot was fighting all sloppy the way they do.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And the griffin was about to attack.

Cristina: And then all the parrot did was.

Jack: Say, the power of Christ compels you. What the is a griffin? It's like the head of an eagle. The body of, like, a lion and the wings of, like, a bird.

Cristina: I mean, I. I would think. Wait, the head of a what?

Jack: Wait, is it the head of an eagle? There's some creature that's like the head. No, it's the head of a lion. Right. The body of a horse and the.

Cristina: Wings of an eagle and the tail of a snake. I don't know.

Jack: Snake.

Cristina: What? It's mostly an eagle with the body, I guess, the. It's like half eagle, half lion.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Is that the best way to say.

Jack: That we're looking at the head of an eagle with like the. The mane of a lion or around its neck area. The body of a lion and the tail of lion. But the wings of the eagle, it's. It's a chimera between an eagle and a lion.

Cristina: Yeah. That's pretty epic looking.

Jack: It's like a. If you had an eagle Pokemon and it evolved, it Would evolve into a f****** griffin.

Cristina: That would be awesome. And it lost to a parrot. That's crazy, man.

Jack: A griffin looks hardcore. What do you think would win a fight between a griffin and a pegasus?

Cristina: A pegasus.

Jack: Pegasus has magic on his side, bro.

Cristina: And griffins don't.

Jack: I don't know. I think a griffin is just a creature.

Cristina: Oh, and what was the other creature you said?

Jack: Pegasus.

Cristina: Pegasus. Are you sure Pegasus have magic?

Jack: No, I think that's also a creature. I think the only one who has a creature is a unicorn. I think a unicorn will off both of these easily.

Cristina: Because it has magic.

Jack: Because it's magic. Like a unicorn still flies, but also it has no f****** wings. It's just like raw magic.

Cristina: It has to be magic.

Jack: It has to be magic. It's just raw magic. Meanwhile, a griffin and a pegasus are just creatures.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know. Maybe unicorns have invisible wings.

Jack: That'd be interesting. That would be magic.

Cristina: That would be magic.

Jack: Okay, this doesn't matter. It's all just magic.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: No matter how you look at a unicorn, it's magic.

Cristina: It's gotta be magic. Okay, so the unicorn wins, though.

Jack: Yeah, the unicorn wins by default. So the real argument would be a pegasus and a griffin. I would argue the griffin wins. Right. Because the pegasus is still just a f****** horse with wings. While this is like the predator of the sky and the predator of the ground just fuse into the most hardcore s*** that has ever existed.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So it's like, pretty much anything that fights a griffin is f*****.

Cristina: How about a dragon?

Jack: What's. How far off is a griffin from a dragon?

Cristina: I don't think griffin has firepower.

Jack: Fair. Fair. So we would say in the animal, in the, like, mythological creature. Tier.

Cristina: Tier, yeah.

Jack: It goes from dragon to griffin, then Pegasus.

Cristina: Where does Godzilla fit?

Jack: Well, Godzilla, like, is a dragon. Godzilla's a dragon. He's just an oversized dragon.

Cristina: Yeah. With no wings.

Jack: With no wings. So arguably worse than a dragon. Depending on the size of the dragon. If we're looking at, like, medieval dragon, like the western version of a dragon. Right. If we're looking at the western version of a dragon.

Cristina: How big are they?

Jack: We're talking the size of, like, a small building.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Not huge the way, like, God, like, Godzilla could stomp on one of those m************ easily.

Cristina: Like a house, maybe.

Jack: Like. Like a traditional current size house.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like four of those put next to each other.

Cristina: Is a dragon.

Jack: Is a dragon. Including wingspan. Like, its body alone. Like, its body alone is probably the size of a house with its wingspan Being the size of maybe like four houses put in a row.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: While Godzilla could stomp that s*** out. Easy.

Cristina: Okay, so Godzilla's on top of the list.

Jack: Yeah, Godzilla's on top of the list. Unless we're talking like some monstrous f****** ridiculous Godzilla sized dragon. That's crazy. And I don't know why that there's no f****** movie about that.

Cristina: A Godzilla sized dragon. Dude, isn't that Chinese dragon huge? The really long dragon?

Jack: You mean like the one from Dragon Ball Z?

Cristina: Yeah, he's really long and really big.

Jack: Well, Shenron is so f****** big you could see him from space. Yeah, like you could be off of earth and just see Shenron if he summoned. That's how big Shenron is. He doesn't count.

Cristina: He doesn't count.

Jack: Unless we're like going into these detailed dragons, in which case what's bigger? Shenron or the world serpent?

Cristina: I would think they're both the same size.

Jack: Interesting, interesting, interesting.

Cristina: Because they both wrap around the world, right?

Jack: Not Shenron. Shenron comes right out of the the dragon balls and floats over them to grant you the wish before he goes back to sleep.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So I don't know. Okay, so this says that Shenron is not so astronomically large as to wrap around the planet. He's smaller than like a city.

Cristina: That's a. That's the size of the castle they compare him to.

Jack: Yes. Not. Well, even the castle is not the size of a city.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: But he's roughly like castle's huge and Shenron is roughly the size of this huge castle.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: While the world serpent can wrap around the f****** planet.

Cristina: Yes, that's why that's humongous. Right?

Jack: Yes. So size wise, we begin at the world snake. For sure there isn't s*** bigger. He's limit. Just the limit of it. He's as big as any mythological creature gets the world serpent.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Then we go to Shenron and then we get to Godzilla.

Cristina: Okay, but when it comes to fight, can Shenron or the world serpent. Actually the world serpent can fight because he fights. What's his name? He fights Thor in the end, right? Yeah. So he can put up a fight.

Jack: Yes, but against Godzilla, the world serpent would one shot him? Yes, yes, because Thor would one shot Godzilla.

Cristina: Yeah. Shenron, can he fight?

Jack: Shenron is pure magic and he can do whatever the f*** he wants. Okay, so size is not a problem here.

Cristina: He's got magic.

Jack: He's got magic. Shenron could one shot both Thor and the world serpent. Cuz magic. So power wise, Shenron is The limit. Shenron could bring the entire Earth back just because you asked him to.

Cristina: Yeah. And isn't there a bigger snake that I'm. I guess, magical Shenron version of Shenron, you know?

Jack: Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. The one you're talking about is Super Shenron from Dragon Ball. Super who is. Who s****. He s**** on. He s**** on the size of the f****** World Serpent by such a ridiculous margin. The World Serpent would be missed. Like, Super Shenron wouldn't see him from how small it is by comparison.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Super Shenron is 57 billion light years.

Cristina: I don't even understand how we could imagine the size of that.

Jack: We'd see him from most places in the universe.

Cristina: We would just. We would all see him.

Jack: We would all see him. Like, if he's summoned, it doesn't matter where in the universe we are. He's bigger than everything else in the sky.

Cristina: He's so big, though, that. Would we be inside him? Would everything be inside him? Because he's humongous. Like, where is he? Would he be away from us? Or we all just automatically be in him because he's so freaking big.

Jack: That's weird, right? He would. But no, he would coil in such a way that he. Because he's. He would dodge everything. I guess he would just be so.

Cristina: He is magical.

Jack: He's magical. Yeah. But that's another thing. Holy crap. That's another thing. Not only is he so absorbently big that he's 57 billion light years in size, but it's pure magic.

Cristina: But he's pure magic.

Jack: More pure magic than Shenron. So even if Shenron is smaller than the World Serpent and more overpowered, Super Shenron would smack the crap out. Like, Super Shenron can't see. He doesn't know Shenron exists.

Cristina: No.

Jack: That's like some afterthought at best.

Cristina: You think he can see the World Serpent? Or is that too small?

Jack: Too small? Too small. We're talking that this guy is the size of many. It's. What is it, four light years? Four light years. Just four. From here to our nearest star, Alpha Centauri.

Cristina: He's that big. Yeah. He's from here to.

Jack: Wait, is Alpha Centauri the closest star? It is. Right. Is that a galaxy?

Cristina: That is not.

Jack: I think Alpha Centauri is a star. Right. Because Andromeda is the galaxy. Got it. So Alpha Centauri is the closest star, and it's four billion light years. I mean, four light years, not billion. It's just four Light years away. Think about how far away in size this guy is.

Cristina: I don't.

Jack: Even if we. Even if Shenron, Super Shenron was just the distance of Earth to Alpha Centauri, that would be so magnificently large in our sky that it would compensate for everything else. No, Super Shenron is 57 billion light years in size.

Cristina: But what does that even mean, light years in size?

Jack: Yeah. Yeah.

Cristina: What?

Jack: How many light years is our observable universe in size?

Cristina: What if he's bigger than that?

Jack: That's crazy. So the observable universe according to God, which is Google, is 93 billion light years.

Cristina: He's more than half.

Jack: He's more than half of the size of the observable universe. We would see Super Shenron from anywhere in the universe encompassing the majority of the universe.

Cristina: Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Jack: He would be so big in our sky. We couldn't tell that we're looking at him.

Cristina: No, he would just. What would he look like?

Jack: The sky would just turn yellow because he's golden. So the sky would just look gold and we wouldn't know that we're looking at him.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That's how big he is. It would just look like the sky just turned gold. The end. Well, meanwhile, we're looking at Shenron. Super Shenron.

Cristina: That's ridiculous.

Jack: So tier size, he wins him by like, there's nothing bigger.

Cristina: There's nothing big.

Jack: Like, it's questionable. Yeah, it's questionable that God is bigger. Like actual God might be smaller than Mega Shenron. Super Shenron.

Cristina: Well, if God's the size of like the God from Dragon Ball Z, he's very tiny.

Jack: Oh, yeah, it could totally be the case. Like Zeno is way smaller.

Cristina: Or little boy, I guess, is his size.

Jack: Yeah. So it would go the, the, the tier here is Super Shenron, then miles away. Miles away. The world serpent the size of just measly planet.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then we get to Shenron, size of just like a big a** building, actually. Well, it's a huge. It's ridiculously huge building. That's the problem. It's bigger than Godzilla.

Cristina: It's bigger than Godzilla.

Jack: It's bigger than Godzilla. Shenron is bigger than Godzilla. Then Godzilla and whatever monsters Godzilla fights. My question is, is the Norse mythology giants the size of Godzilla or are they smaller than Godzilla And I actually think they're smaller than Godzilla.

Cristina: Are you sure? Please remember that footprint of the horse? That horse has to be huge.

Jack: The horse had to be huge.

Cristina: That's one footprint of an eight legged horse.

Jack: Yeah, but like a Godzilla footprint People could just go inside of it.

Cristina: So can they go inside of his footprint? The magical horse's footprint?

Jack: Are we thinking that the horse is bigger than Godzilla, though?

Cristina: Yes. No. Maybe the same size? No, but longer.

Jack: They're in the ballpark. They're in the ballpark.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: They're in the ballpark of size. I think Shenron would beat them in size.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So it'd be Shenron, Godzilla, and all these other mythological things from Norse mythology. And then we have all the smaller things.

Cristina: Yes, fair. That's crazy. But then how did the people sailing sea Godzilla fight this creature? Like, that's got to be crazy to see. I mean, how do you not die if you can see it? Unless it's happening from far away. It could be.

Jack: It could be that you're getting attacked by the Kraken, which is also huge as f***. Yeah, but the Kraken, like, compared to size, like, Godzilla could just b**** smack that s***.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: So Godzilla just comes, rips it out, like, snaps. It's f******. I guess it has no bones to snap, but it could just, like, crush it to death. And then you guys just eat this giant kraken.

Cristina: Yeah, but the way they. Their bodies are moving in the water, I feel like it just destroy the boat.

Jack: The way just Godzilla coming out of the water would create tidal waves exactly like these.

Cristina: This event has to have happened super far away.

Jack: So Godzilla popped up the crack inside, and it's like, fight time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But they still got, like, a crazy wave coming. So Godzilla instantaneously won, and they angled their ship in such a way that it just, like, cruised with a wave.

Cristina: Yes, because how else would they survive that?

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: It's ridiculous. The size of Godzilla and then I guess all the other creatures, like the. The Griff. Way smaller. Those are like babies compared.

Jack: They're so small. A griffin, wingspan included. Maybe a little bit bigger than a room.

Cristina: That's so pretty. I guess compared to us, it's big.

Jack: But compared to humans, it's big. But, like, Godzilla, stomp that s*** out. Yeah, so, like, in the. In the fight between a Griffin and a Pegasus, whatever. Who cares? The griffin is gonna win. But Griffin versus Godzilla, One shot.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Godzilla needs to fight, like, Norse creatures or the Titans.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: You know, from, like, Greek mythology.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But then all of them will get one shot by Shenron. Actually, even the world serpent, which is way the f*** bigger than Shenron, will get one shot by Shenron. But it's magic. Which then brings up an interesting point. What could a unicorn, one Shot the World Serpent. Because. Also magic. I feel like it's also a tier of magic. Right.

Cristina: There could be a tier of magic.

Jack: Like, the unicorn doesn't have, like, unfathomable magic abilities. It's like, you know, has magic, but it's not, like, impossibly magical.

Cristina: Yeah, it can't be. If we learned anything from our other episode about. I don't really remember what it was about, but that the Force and using the Force to do magic, if you abuse it, you'll die.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: So the unicorns, they wouldn't abuse the magic.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: If they're using the same force.

Jack: So we're saying the Force is equal to magic. Yes, because in the case of all these other people, they have abilities that they're channeling.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But it wasn't like magic. It was like they're really channeling just this energy. Yeah, but Shenron is doing some whole other s***. He can make anything happen.

Cristina: Yeah, but he's getting it from the same place everyone else is getting it from.

Jack: Or is he one of the sources of it?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like, is he the embodiment of the Force?

Cristina: He could be.

Jack: And Super Shenron is, like, the biggest focus of that energy.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So they aren't abusing it or using it.

Cristina: No, they aren't.

Jack: They are it.

Cristina: Yeah, but a unicorn is using it.

Jack: A unicorn is using it, but in.

Cristina: This kind of the same way that Transformers are using it. Like, it's born in them. Yeah, they're not training for it.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, they're not. They're not. But then again, it could just be channeling it.

Cristina: Or channel.

Jack: But I don't know. It feels like a unicorn isn't thinking about using magic. It's just, like, natural. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no Transformers. Like, oh, I got a train and trans. No, you just can do it.

Cristina: Yeah. It's supernatural. Unless there is. We don't know what a baby Transformer looks like. What if they're training?

Jack: Well, there's a whole. There's no baby Transformer. There is a planet that is a machine that pumps out Transformers.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: The planet itself is pumping out.

Jack: The planet itself is a robot. What? Okay, so referring to back to our noble God Google, the Transformers are a species of sentient, living robotic beings originating from the distant machine world, Cybertron. The stories of their lives, their histories, and most especially their wars have been chronicled across many different continuities in the vast multiverse. So Cybertron is where they come from. How are they made? It just, like, spits them out.

Cristina: It Says that a computer made them. Their bodies were forged by a plasma energy chamber and given intelligence by the mega computer Vectas Sigma. So their planet has a computer in it. I mean, their planet is a machine already.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: With a computer in it that's pumping out robots.

Jack: Wow, there's just so many doors just opened. So in the area of size of creatures, Cybertron is bigger than Godzilla as well, and actually bigger than Shenron. And technically. Technically, also bigger than the World Serpent.

Cristina: Cybertron.

Jack: Yes, because the World Serpent wraps around the world.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But isn't as thick. So the Cybertron is, in theory, more mass overall.

Cristina: Yeah, I would imagine that it would be bigger than Earth anyway because it holds all these robots. Like, it's got to be a huge.

Jack: Like, the robots are big themselves.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Interesting. Interesting.

Cristina: I don't even know where to start.

Jack: Okay, okay, for everybody, we just took an intermission to learn everything there was to learn about Transformers. So let's go back real quickly. The Transformers were made by a planet that was a machine. The planet was made by this bigger robot thing in order to pump out robots to fight some other planet that was also pumping out robots, apparently. And so this thing was made by yet another bigger, greater robot. And then that robot that kind of seems to be God was made by something called the one who's just God.

Cristina: Yes. God made two robots. Well, he made one robot, and then he made another robot from that robot.

Jack: Which was his twin.

Cristina: Which was his twin. So one was a good twin, was the evil twins. He began with the Eve.

Jack: Yes, he began with the evil twin, and then he made the good twin. So the argument is God made man, like regular biological life.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And also mechanical life.

Cristina: He only knows how to do it the same way. That's so crazy. Yeah, it's the same exact way he did human mankind.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: That's so lazy.

Jack: I recommend. Oh, crap. We're probably gonna do a whole episode about this history.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Like, we have to. We just ended up talking about it, and we're totally, like, out of time.

Cristina: Oh, my gosh.

Jack: So. So we're probably gonna do an episode on Transformers, breaking down the entire history and how, like, we're gonna. We're gonna explain how God and robots relate. That's gonna happen.

Cristina: It's gonna happen.

Jack: Okay, now, the interesting part about this entire episode is that the guy with the axe could one off everybody. He's the only one who could one shot Super Shenron with his lucky ax.

Cristina: I don't think so. I don't think so.

Jack: You don't think so.

Cristina: He's an average guy. He's a guy can't even carry a deer.

Jack: He's. He totally can't.

Cristina: So I don't know how he's strong enough to do that.

Jack: I guess the argument is, is he better than. Could he want. Could he off the Pegasus or the Griffin? He could probably off the Pegasus, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Could he off the Griffin. The Griffin's fast. It's dangerous. It's aligned.

Cristina: It got killed by a parrot, so I guess he can.

Jack: D***. D***. Yeah, fair enough. You right. You right. You got that. Anyways, if you guys enjoyed this episode.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You can find, I guess, other episodes about completely random, unrelated, strung together things.

Cristina: Like the Transformers, which just happened. Yeah.

Jack: So you guys can totally do that. Go find those episodes.

Cristina: And on this episode, listen to the last episode. It was a great episode.

Jack: Yeah. And you can find all that stuff on the official website greatthoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe rate. And if you feel so inclined, review.

Cristina: The show and let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes. This is exactly how it began. A guy sharing with the kindness of his heart, the show and then it turned out to be a show in which we find out a bunch of things, including the fact that women are evil.

Cristina: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah.

Jack: Mermaids happened because of dolphin raped people.

Cristina: Of course.

Jack: As usual. As expected, you know, as dolphins do.

Cristina: Yeah. So they can live longer.

Jack: They can live longer. It happens. And Griffins vs. Pegasus, equal fight or relatively closer than Parrot vs. Griffin, in which a parrot easily wins thanks to.

Cristina: The power of God.

Jack: Thanks to power of God. Also Godzilla. We've had that wrong this whole time. His name is Zilla. He's gods.

Cristina: He's Godzilla. Yeah.

Jack: Godzilla beat the Kraken that was attacking the sailors who were in the first place on the sea, probably trying to survive. Mermaids.

Cristina: And they're also fictional because they come from Ireland, which is also fictional.

Jack: Yeah, Ireland never happened. And neither did the Garden of Eden. And that's all invented by the church who's killing anybody who finds out. Yes, but we work for the Illuminati, so we're protector.

Cristina: Yeah, that's why we're sharing you with. That's why we're sharing this with you. Yeah.

Jack: So that you know you're all going to be killed.

Cristina: Yeah. By the church or by the cancer.

Jack: That you got by listening to the show.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: This. That nice little summary.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: But is there things like that in other.

Jack: Yes. Politics.

Cristina: They have dress. They dress up.

Jack: Not the dressing thing, but the weird traditions. Like when they did that book thing that they walked the book across the thing in a specific way, and then the news was covering how it got walked down the. Let's just take it. It's a f******. Just walk it down the g****** hallway. What are you talking about, a book?

Cristina: Yeah, the Bible.

Jack: No, it was like a set of rules or something for the President to sign or some s***. And then everybody stood in line in a certain way and they walked this sheet of paper to him. Yeah. In a. In like a order of some sort, like. Like soldiers or some s***. They did it in a weird, specific kind of way.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Very traditional, very ritualistic. And walked it over to the chamber it had to be in with everybody standing where they had to be standing or whatever.

Cristina: Yes. Any tradition looks very strange if you don't know the reason for it.

Jack: Even if you know the reason for it. Why is it still in play?

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: Because what purpose does that serve now?

Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.