Rambling 140: Poopzilla Causes Climate Change

Where do the sewers lead to? Does it go back into the ocean water? Does human fecal matter add to pollution the way cow farts do? And how do we solve this poo related climate crisis? The due solves the problem of outdated sewers and climate change simultaneously on this episode filled with innovative solutions. Support the cause. Contact the Cave Sewer Society: A nonprofit organization trying to move all the sewer systems into local cave systems.

+Episode Details

Topics Discussed:

• Portapotty
• Innovating the Toilet
• Dead Babies
• Legal Cannibalism
• Cannibal Parties
• Sewer Cleanup
• Poopie Homeless People
• Poo To Water Ratio
• Cave Sewers
• Shit Demon
• Godzilla vs Poopzilla
• Shit Beam
• Living Poo
• Poop Portal

Our Links:

Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast

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Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod

Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod

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+Transcript

Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in 5, 4.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Just Conversation podcast, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I'm your host, Christina.

Jack: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.

Cristina: Also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on topics we discuss.

Jack: Yes. So as usual, be sure to find that significant other that's going to listen to the show with you, whether it be a person you've loved your entire life. You guys have grown up together. You were, you were like childhood friends. Like, your parents knew each other before you guys were conceived. And then you guys were born around the same time. You're the same age. Your parents decided, hey, we're gonna have kids around the same time. How cool is that gonna be? They're gonna be best friends. And you guys actually turned out best friends in your opposite sexes. That your best friend ended up being who your first date. And you guys fell in love in high school and then you married them and now it's 40 years later and you've been with this person your entire life, whether it's that person or the homeless man that stuck his finger in your mouth while you were in the train.

Cristina: There's no homeless man doing that, is there? Homeless men?

Jack: I bet there's like, first, what do you do after that moment? Right? You kill yourself, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: A homeless man.

Cristina: You hope that he's really a billionaire who is doing some weird prank show and is going to give you money. I don't know.

Jack: Like, what did you just catch if a home. What did you just catch if a homeless man?

Cristina: Then you turn into rat man. You become. You get superpowers.

Jack: Can you imagine? It's like rolling around in chemical waste at that point. Yes, it definitely is. It's f****** crazy. What? Where, where have they been? They don't have access to toilet paper. They're just using like random s*** they find around occasionally, bro. And they can't wash their hands afterwards either, bro.

Cristina: Are you sure they're not just using regular bathrooms like everyone else? What about a night, 24 hour open places?

Jack: What if they don't live by one?

Cristina: Oh, those potties. Porta Potties.

Jack: Those aren't everywhere.

Cristina: They're not?

Jack: No.

Cristina: Maybe they just huddle around those at night. They find them.

Jack: They just have natural trackers that take them to where the porta potties are.

Cristina: You'll find them in, I guess, the park. I don't know where. They're random porta potties outside.

Jack: Whose job is to clean that s***? Dude, that sucks. I guess, like, we saw one, and it was, like, a timer on it, like, once a week. This is, like, cleaned out.

Cristina: They're honest about how often that's cleaned.

Jack: And, like, I'm sure people are worried. It's, like, how much s*** is in here, but, like, in a week, how many people use that thing?

Cristina: Especially if it's a very popular spot.

Jack: And, like, haven't we learned by now not to sit on the toilet of public bathrooms? How do people take dumps? Do they hover over the toilet?

Cristina: Yes, I guess.

Jack: But then, like, the higher up you are, the more splash, which means you have a worse problem.

Cristina: You probably can't p*** in those. I don't know.

Jack: Wait, Porta potties don't have water? No, it just, like, smashes into it and slides in.

Cristina: Yeah. So you can't worry about it splashing to you.

Jack: Why aren't other toilets like that?

Cristina: They have too much water.

Jack: Yeah, they should have no water.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Poo into it first. Make the inside of all toilets brown. Like, let's be real, right?

Cristina: So you don't have to look at that poo.

Jack: Because it's gonna just smack into it. It's not gonna be, like, a splash on. It's just gonna be, like, a clean. Every time it hits, like, the inside.

Cristina: Of that, it should be, like, whatever color a healthy poop looks like, that's the color it should be.

Jack: That's when you should know. Yeah. So that you're like, that's too dark. It's not. There's something wrong.

Cristina: Yeah, there's something wrong. But then what about peeing? You still peeing that, too?

Jack: You still peeing it too? Yeah.

Cristina: Well, it'll be harder to see if you're having healthy pees.

Jack: Oh, s***. I see your problem. There should be two toilets.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: There should be a pee toilet and a poo toilet.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Thus you can tell if you're healthy or not.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: The pee toilet should be the normal color of pee as well.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. So you know if you're under or over, whatever that is.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it gets dark, you got a problem. If it's too light, you got a problem. Well, no, it will never be too light because it's already that color. So I guess white for pee is fine.

Cristina: Okay. Yes.

Jack: But brown, Healthy. Brown.

Cristina: Healthy.

Jack: Yes, for poops. And no water in it.

Cristina: And no water.

Jack: That's why you need water. Well, no, you flush it later.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: The water will come in.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And then it'll empty out.

Cristina: But if it's too big. And that's why they have the water in the first place.

Jack: What do you mean?

Cristina: Like it just clogs. Like, won't there be a clogging problem? You had a really big dump.

Jack: Interesting.

Cristina: There might be clogging problems. Like the water's trying to get in, but it's right there in the hole.

Jack: But isn't that already what happens when the poo is too big? Like there's no water from the other side. The water from the other side finished draining. Oh, you just gotta clog. It's the same, I guess.

Cristina: I don't know. I don't.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. Or there. Okay, fair enough. Maybe we. Maybe we just redesign the toilet. Right?

Cristina: What about for the homeless people?

Jack: Well, we're gonna redesign the porta potty. Well, the porta potty doesn't matter.

Cristina: It's fine.

Jack: Yeah, they just poo in it and it falls into like a dry hole.

Cristina: That's it.

Jack: That's it.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: I'm sure there's water down there, but I guess we should use the design of the porta potty in the regular toilet. Which means have two layers. Right. The top layer is brown and has a hole through which the poo will slide into.

Jack: That's gonna fall into water after the hole. There's no way it's gonna splash up all the way and hit you because it's too far down and there's a whole hole size something there.

Cristina: It's a huge hole size.

Jack: Yeah. So the poo goes through.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then falls into water. Poo didn't poo directly into water.

Cristina: Maybe people don't want bigger holes because like something important could fall in there. Like a baby. I don't know.

Jack: You don't need a hole so big a baby could fit into it.

Cristina: I don't know. What if it has to be that big? Like big enough that the head will fit somehow.

Jack: I am so sure there have been babies found dead in a porta potty.

Cristina: There might be people drowning babies in this. I don't know.

Jack: Right. That's kind of crazy.

Cristina: So it can't be that big because then people are just stuffing their babies in there.

Jack: I'm sure it's happening already. You can just open a porta potty up and do it.

Cristina: Oh, in a porta potty. But not a regular toilet.

Jack: You can stuff a baby into the top part that holds the water that.

Cristina: You'Re flushing, but you're not hiding it.

Jack: Well, yeah, you could close it and.

Cristina: Everything, but it's gonna stay there. The body just stays there, I guess. That's disturbing.

Jack: Wow. That's f*****. So yeah, there was in Texas, there was in fact a newborn baby found dead inside of a porta pot by workers emptying it out. I knew that was something people did.

Cristina: That was Recent too. Says June 3rd of this year. Oh, people are desperate to get rid of these babies.

Jack: They're like, I can't have another baby in the house.

Cristina: Yeah, it could be that. Or they're like, we gotta protect the planet from global warming and to protect it we need to get rid of some babies.

Jack: No, you know what we never really think about and it's kind of f***** up, right?

Cristina: What?

Jack: Imagine a woman gets pregnant and she's like in quarantine and we don't see her the whole year and she has her baby in the house and then they just get rid of the baby. Like they throw it in the trash or something and it's like just no record of that human having ever existed. That's just a dead baby.

Cristina: No one has to double check if they knew she was pregnant. Like, no one comes to check that the baby's healthy or not.

Jack: She doesn't want to, huh?

Cristina: You can't just throw away a dead baby, I think.

Jack: I mean, it's obviously illegal. Yeah, but like, who knows that she has the baby? Who's the person?

Cristina: If they've seen her stomach though, people know. Unless she hits. What are they going to do the whole time?

Jack: No, it doesn't matter. So they saw her stomach. What's happening there? Her neighbor saw that she's pregnant and.

Cristina: I don't know, they would call the cops, cuz murder.

Jack: How do they know There will be.

Cristina: An investigation and then they know too late.

Jack: The baby's already been deposited into the f****** dumpster area site. How many bodies are out of f******, bro? That's crazy.

Cristina: You think there's a bunch of bodies in there?

Jack: What, where? The trucks throw away all the trash? H*** yeah. There has to be. There's no way there isn't.

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't know.

Jack: There's like over 90% of all murders go unsolved. They're probably there.

Cristina: Or they're all there.

Jack: Water.

Cristina: Mmm. Then they'll be in this toilet that has the huge hoe in it.

Jack: Yes, but people will find the babies in the porta potties. Yeah, but people will never find the baby that the mom threw into a trash bag with the rest of her food tied up neatly, put it into a black bag and put the black bag into a trash can outside for the trash people to pick it up.

Cristina: I don't know. I bet people found those babies. I don't know how they find those babies, but they. Someone found them.

Jack: Nah, I think. I think that was just dead babies for days.

Cristina: I don't know. How did they find this baby? I mean, it was in a porta pota.

Jack: They're just cleaning the porta potty and they're like, ah, hey, look at that baby.

Cristina: She probably. I don't understand how like, was she really abandoning this baby or did she not know she had a baby?

Jack: She like, she's like, this is the biggest poo out of my v***** I've ever had.

Cristina: Yeah. Like it could have been one of those situations that she didn't know she was pregnant. She's like, oh man, she just pooped and got out.

Jack: I've never pooed out of my v***** before. It's the biggest I've ever taken.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know.

Jack: And then ploop. Oh, what a relief. Oh, wait, there's a giant. Long term.

Cristina: She didn't even check.

Jack: There's a giant long t*** sticking from me. I gotta cut it off. No, the umbilical cord.

Cristina: Maybe that poofed out too. It just all came out and she didn't look back.

Jack: Umbilical cord's a weird thing.

Jack: Some people eat it.

Cristina: No, she ate it. No.

Jack: Would you eat your child's umbilical cord.

Cristina: If it was cooked right?

Jack: That's technically cannibalism.

Cristina: Yeah, it's the closest. It can't be. Is that illegal? Like cannibalism is illegal?

Jack: No, there is no. We already went through this. What you specifically taught us how cannibalism is technically not illegal. It's illegal to kill a person to eat.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yes. But it has to be self defense or. No, that's not it. Yeah, no, you can special case. That is okay.

Jack: Yeah, volunteers. A person could just give you the body part that you want to eat.

Cristina: No, I'm pretty sure that's not okay either.

Jack: Yeah, some guy was. Cut his p**** off and they were.

Cristina: Gonna eat it together and then the guy killed him. So we don't know if that was okay or not fair.

Jack: Fair.

Cristina: Because that turned very illegal. I'm not sure if the Case if they didn't do that, if he didn't attack him, would it been legal?

Jack: Could we. To get like, man, that's crazy. The government needs to stop deciding who can eat their own d*** and who can't.

Cristina: Yeah, I remember there was a story though. I think it was France, which, man, there was one country that they didn't have any cannibalism laws. And so the guy kept.

Jack: Germany.

Cristina: Was it Germany?

Jack: Yeah. There's an absurd amount of cannibals.

Cristina: No, there was just one random guy who just kept eating dead bodies. I don't know where he was getting these pieces at, but he would just eat it in front of the government building or whatever.

Jack: And Yeah, I remember that story.

Cristina: I'm guessing too passed laws or something like he was protesting in a very weird way. Or maybe not.

Jack: Maybe he just like. I love eating people in front of other people.

Cristina: Yeah, that's crazy.

Jack: I know. But I know that Germany is the one that we found that had a crazy amount of cannibals.

Cristina: Yes. They just chilling around. Yeah. The guy who killed the guy that they were gonna eat his p**** was the guy that said there's a bunch of cannibals out there in Germany. Yes.

Jack: It's a 10 out of one. Can you imagine 10 out of one? I don't know, because that's an impossible.

Cristina: He only knows about about 200 of them, I think he said wasn't over.

Jack: Where the f*** does he go when he find, like cannibal parties, man? I guess I went to the huttest cannibal party, man.

Cristina: No, it would just be people talking about they want to eat people and probably not none of them actually eat people.

Jack: A lot of people go missing kind of regularly. Oh, like this is feasible that they're eating people.

Cristina: Everyone's eating people.

Jack: They are. A lot of the cannibals.

Cristina: A lot of the cannibals are eating.

Jack: There's a lot of people going missing all the time.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Seven billion of us. We can't keep track of it.

Cristina: You think a lot of it's going to cannibals?

Jack: Enough of it. There's obviously a lot of human trafficking and organ trades, slavery.

Cristina: And that thing that the mom takes out, what was it called?

Jack: There's the umbilical cord and the placenta both get eaten.

Cristina: Yeah. You think she can sell that on the Internet to a cannibal? Would that be legal?

Jack: That should, in theory be fine because.

Cristina: That'S not really a dead person.

Jack: You gotta freeze it.

Cristina: Well, maybe she freezes it right after.

Jack: Cuts off the umbilical cord, puts it in a freezer.

Cristina: Whoa. Maybe she wants to see how much money she can make off of this. I wonder if someone's done this. Someone's had to. Maybe a home birth. You could do that.

Jack: Probably. I guess you'd have to go to, like, the black market to really find it. You know, one of those websites that sell everything.

Cristina: I'm not gonna get in trouble for just looking it up on a regular website, but, yeah, probably. They sell anything there, so.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Like diapers.

Jack: I know. That's crazy, right? One of the hottest things on the black market is diapers.

Cristina: Babies are expensive.

Jack: I don't know why anybody has babies.

Cristina: I don't know. They should all be abandoning their babies in a porta potty.

Jack: That makes perfect sense.

Cristina: Or into this toilet that you're gonna make.

Jack: Yeah, this way. Efficient toilet.

Cristina: But now, is that toilet being made to get rid of babies, or is it still the water for the water problem?

Jack: So, water problem. But I'm assuming you could definitely throw a baby in there. You wouldn't fit the baby through the hole, though.

Cristina: It's not that big.

Jack: No.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: In the porta potty, you can open the porta potty.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: You can't open, like, the hole. There's just water down there, so you don't really need it. Just water and poo in the toilet? Yeah, in the second hole.

Cristina: Oh, okay. There's a second hole.

Jack: The first hole has no water.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That goes into, I guess not a second hole, but that goes into a chamber with water where the poo falls into.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And that's what gets flushed.

Cristina: Ah, yes. Yes. So no babies in there?

Jack: No babies in there.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: How do the sewers get cleaned? I've seen trucks do it, right? They just stick like a hose.

Cristina: They send homeless people down there.

Jack: Why don't they? Homeless people will do the job. They're already kind of poopy.

Cristina: That's awful, huh? But they send people down there. Yeah, down there.

Jack: People down there. There are people whose job it is to do it. They don't even want to send the homeless people. Poo is part of their life.

Cristina: Is it?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: It's well known homeless people roll around in poo all day.

Cristina: No, they go to open to porta potties. They have to. There's nothing else.

Jack: I wonder how many homeless people have reached into the porta potty and touched poo.

Cristina: Why would any of them do that?

Jack: There has to be somebody, right? At some point.

Cristina: I feel Like a child is more likely to do that.

Jack: Right? But like at least one homeless man stuck his hand and touched the put in the porta potty.

Cristina: Just one.

Jack: Just one. Seven billion people. One f****** homeless man stuck his hand into a porta potty to touch poo.

Cristina: You think one regular guy would do that? No, he has to be a homeless person.

Jack: Has to be a homeless person. They have to be way more comfortable with poo.

Cristina: Why would they be more comfortable with poo?

Jack: Just because your body is 50% poo.

Cristina: How?

Jack: Their dad was a human. Their mom was a pooh.

Cristina: And that's how. And that, whatever that is, is a homeless person?

Jack: Yes. That's why Bono can't have children because they're all poo.

Cristina: Are they homeless people or are they just poop?

Jack: They're homeless people that are made out of poo. They're made out of poo. They just look human.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: The poo less people.

Cristina: Huh? And what is he? Is he a homeless person?

Jack: No, he's the poo. He's just a poo.

Cristina: Oh, he's just a poo. Okay, that's true.

Jack: Bono is King poo.

Cristina: So poos can't be homeless, but their babies are homeless.

Jack: I mean, like a poo that doesn't go out and make money could in theory be homeless.

Cristina: Yeah, like human.

Jack: Yeah, but like most poos that are hybrids are homeless, okay? That doesn't mean broke, that just means homeless. They just live outside.

Cristina: They just live outside.

Jack: Some of them got a lot of guap.

Cristina: But live outside.

Jack: But live outside like poo should.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: They live like poop.

Cristina: They live like poo. Yeah, because they are part poop.

Jack: They are part poop. It is in their nature.

Cristina: Where did you get that from?

Jack: Where'd I get what from?

Cristina: Poop people.

Jack: Where wouldn't I get poop people from?

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know.

Jack: The problem is, man, okay, so they clean it, right? They go down there, they hire all the poo people, and the poop people go into the sewers because they're mainly poo already. And they clean the sewers.

Cristina: Then I don't know, are they poop? Wait, because they're poop people, does everything they clean actually get cleaned?

Jack: No, it's like. It's like if you used a t*** to wipe off the poo that like landed on your car from a bird.

Cristina: That's what it's like, you know?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if that was. If that's the sponge you were using.

Cristina: So then you can't use the homeless people to clean.

Jack: You can reduce the. They can go in there and push the vast majority of poop out and then send somebody who isn't dirty to clean after them to clean the. Because they wouldn't walk in like inches of poo that's been cleaned. They got going to like power, like hose everything down.

Cristina: That sounds so. Okay, well why can't they do that? Or everything they. They're standing on everything is just poop.

Jack: In the sewers, all things are poop.

Cristina: Oh, okay. But the person standing in there is not poop.

Jack: Standing in where?

Cristina: The sewers to clean up the mess.

Jack: Oh, the one with the power hose. No, it's fine. It's power washing. They're in there, but they're not standing in the poo because the poo got cleaned up by the poo people.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: That's how it goes. I'm sure that it is entirely possible to come up with some other way to like get rid of it, right? No, the problem is that poo intoxicates, right? Like it's, it's emissions of some sort of.

Cristina: Get rid of it in the sewer.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. So that people don't have to go down there.

Cristina: We can create an animal that eats the poo. Is that possible?

Jack: Interesting, interesting. It could be possible, but I don't think we'd have like the resources. So there's so much poo. So much poo. We need a creature who would just get stuffed by the poo and want more. Just billions of humans or a thing.

Cristina: That could like, reproduce. Like, there's rats in there. We get them to be poop loving.

Jack: Rats, then that's a problem. How long before we're overthrown by the poo animal?

Cristina: I don't know. We're not poo though. They have no reason to bother us.

Jack: No, but they would fill up the sewer so much there'd be no more room.

Cristina: Because they reproduce too quickly.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, like, this is where my thought went, right? Because I'm thinking poo cleaning poo. And like, cows create emissions by pooing and farting and s***. And then that f**** up our environment. The climate has changed because of the cow farts.

Cristina: So we're gonna get rid of the cows.

Jack: Well, that's what stopped me from being like, we could burn all the poo. We could just like light all the poo. But does all the poo just fall in the ocean?

Cristina: I hope not. I like to think that they just End at the sewer.

Jack: I think it falls in the ocean.

Cristina: Oh. Somewhere that no one is.

Jack: It would have to be right. Because what we have to look at is we aren't really bothered about drinking or being in poo water. Nobody's bothered by that. We're bothered by the ratio of poo to water.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So like in a pool, any amount of poo is too much poo. But in like a lake, a t*** is fine. A t*** like you could be this poo water. There's poo in that water. But also you'd be fine.

Cristina: Wild animals, you don't think about like a person. Poo.

Jack: It doesn't matter getting in the lake. There's poo in there.

Cristina: Oh yeah.

Jack: So like the ocean is drowning in poo. There's so much poo in the ocean.

Cristina: There are places we could just dump poo in the ocean. I guess. Like it's huge. There's unknown places you'll find a hole in the ocean.

Jack: I think that's what sinkholes are. I think they found like a landfill. You know what a landfill is? Okay. So just filled with poo. Then you throw dirt over it, solidifying it. And then you build houses on top of.

Cristina: That's what those are.

Jack: Just a house built on poo. And one day that poo gets re soft and cracks underneath the the dirt that was thrown there and there collapses and boom. You fall into a hole. Well cuz, where does the sinkhole go? To h***?

Cristina: The f*** I don't know. But you think it's. It was poop before.

Jack: I'm pretty sure.

Cristina: You think we made those sinkholes, Man.

Jack: What are the odds of landfill as a sinkhole? Right?

Jack: That's crazy.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I did not know this. So a sinkhole can just be a tiny little hole where it could just go way down there into the earth. Hundreds of feet into the earth.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That's f****** nuts.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But so in reading this, you know what that gave me the idea for what There are like a lot of caves.

Jack: Why don't we create a system of sewage that sends all the poo instead of into water because I'm pretty sure goes to water and send it into just the center of the earth. Just start filling the earth with poo.

Cristina: Filling the earth with poo.

Jack: But we would never. This all of humanity could fit in like one state. You could fit the whole planet sort of people into like Texas. So we won't ever fill the earth with poo?

Cristina: No.

Jack: At least not anytime soon.

Cristina: We could just Find a really deep hole. Like, isn't there a deep hole somewhere in. I don't know where it is. Somewhere.

Jack: The one that goes to h***.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, what if we just stuff that hole with poop?

Jack: How long before it got filled?

Cristina: I don't know. Because I'm guessing that goes really, really deep. They don't know where the bottom is.

Jack: Yeah. Fair enough. We could just. But then we got it. That's not. Probably gonna start delivering the poo. Because then we need way more trucks that are gonna release way more. We're trying to stop climate change.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: And solve the poo problem. That's because the cow poo.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: And farts. Messes the air up. We can't just burn the poo. Which would be the ideal because it would just disappear. But so much poo. We f*** the planet up.

Cristina: And throwing it into volcanoes is a bad idea.

Jack: We might trigger the volcano.

Cristina: Oh. Boo. Okay.

Jack: Yeah. It seems problematic.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But we either make systems in which they fall into caves.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Or we. Because if we tried to take it to the hole that goes to nowhere. Planes and boats and trucks. Like, we need way more poop.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: To move all the poo in the world.

Cristina: That's probably causing more problems than.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Because by throwing it in the water, at least you're not polluting the air. You're just polluting the water.

Cristina: But now we're gonna pollute caves.

Jack: Well, we wouldn't be polluting the air or the water. Assuming the caves don't connect to water. But we're already throwing it into water. Maybe we just throw it so deep that by the time the water comes from wherever deep it is, the water has been filtered by the rocks and crap that it's moving through.

Cristina: Aren't there volcanoes in the water? We could just find one of those and throw them in.

Jack: But then we need the transportation.

Cristina: We still need the transportation.

Jack: If we can just. Every city is built upon enough that if you were to go far down enough, there have to be like catacombs or some s***. Right.

Cristina: Where? The stuff of those catacombs with poo.

Jack: This can create a sewage system that takes all the poo to the catacombs.

Cristina: And that won't be causing any problems.

Jack: We don't know. It's like lead pipes. We didn't predict it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Like it happened. And we were like, okay, maybe that's a bad idea. But like, at the moment it seems fine. Pooh filled catacombs seems like a really good plan.

Cristina: Yeah. Like what could go Wrong.

Jack: What could go wrong? Unless, like, that's where demons come from and like we have some sort of poo monster. The pooh down there?

Cristina: I don't think so, no.

Jack: Yeah, there was a poo monster in the movie Dogma.

Cristina: There was?

Jack: Yeah, it's a Kevin Smith movie.

Cristina: I have to watch that. Okay.

Jack: Yeah. And that poo monster, he came from a cave? No, he just came from the toilet. Oh, yeah, but he was a poo monster. He was at least made of enough poo that he could come out of a toilet and be like a good 7 or 8ft tall.

Cristina: What was he like, the U2 guy where he's just one person's poo or was he like.

Jack: No, I think he's composed of everyone's poo.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: I think there was a legit like, poo made, poo monster.

Cristina: Poo made. Okay, yeah.

Jack: Made a bunch of people's poo and.

Cristina: But did something make it alive or it just.

Jack: Angels make poo monsters, I think.

Cristina: I'm not really sure the angels did it.

Jack: What the f***?

Cristina: It says s*** demon. It does look like a demon.

Jack: Oh, got it. But like the angels caused the s*** demon.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: I think.

Cristina: Can angels make demons?

Jack: Depending on the Dogma, certain angels are. Demonstration.

Cristina: They're gonna shoot it.

Jack: Gonna shoot the s*** demon. Okay, so do we learn something? I don't think we learned f****** anything. I just know that there's a s*** demon.

Cristina: So it's not from their poop. It seems like it's its own creature.

Jack: No, it's made from h***.

Cristina: It could be h***'s poop.

Jack: No, it came from the toilet.

Cristina: It did come from a toilet. Okay.

Jack: The toilet overflowed and then the s*** demon formed.

Cristina: He might have traveled through the toilet. That doesn't mean he was made through the poop that was in that toilet.

Jack: We saw him be formed from the s*** that was in that toilet. He just.

Cristina: That toy. That poop might have traveled there. I mean, from where?

Jack: So that poo is connected to h***?

Cristina: Yeah, look at it. It's not normal poo.

Jack: It's like, yeah, he's like extra wet, but like, I don't know, he's like diarrhea that's solidified or something. Yeah, but like, so we connect the sewers. We send all the poo into the catacombs through the sewers and then it forms and it harvests there. You know what the fear would be.

Cristina: Besides the poop demon?

Jack: Well, no, the poop demon would be the result. And it's because we also saw this sort of happen in Ghostbusters where a lot of negative emotions led to like this demon forming over the city.

Cristina: That's what happened in that movie.

Jack: Yeah. Like in New York City, all the negative emotions created a demon that was like the big boss at the end of the movie.

Cristina: I remember the big boss, but it didn't look scary or anything. It had a smile on its face.

Jack: Oh yeah, I guess. But it was made out of evil emotions.

Cristina: It was.

Jack: Yeah. So assuming people don't feel like all the mean poops of the world are also going to be down there and.

Cristina: They'Re going to create the demon.

Jack: Yeah, it's slowly going to like, all the negative poo energy is going to fall together and sort of start manifesting more. And it's going to. As it lands together, it just vibes with itself, slowly creating consciousness within the poo.

Cristina: With enough poo, it could become so big, it could become like a poop whale. And then we don't really have to worry. We just can never go into the sea.

Jack: Well, it's in the catacombs though.

Cristina: Like, if it made its way out, how big could it be? How much poop could stick to it before it decides, okay, that's enough poo. Now I'm a thing. Well, it could be our size, but it could also be like Godzilla size and it rips out of the hole.

Jack: Yeah. Well, here's another problem because we already know that we have a Godzilla to fight the Poopzilla with.

Jack: I guess, I guess the question would be. Right. So we're gonna have a Poopzilla inevitably. Because we solved our pollution problem for poop. And we even have like the cow poop falling into here with all the poop. All the poop of the world just falls into our catacomb thing and creates Poopzilla, which is a giant. It's a giant poop monster the size of Godzilla. Size of a city, essentially. What we really need to think about is in a one on one battle, would Godzilla.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Or Poop Zilla win? It's kinda like Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla.

Cristina: And Godzilla wins.

Jack: You think Godzilla wins? Because if I lit a poop on fire, what would happen to the poop? That's Godzilla's main thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Fire.

Cristina: It just gets worse, doesn't it? It might kill Godzilla. It might be like, it might kill all of us. Like the creature will die, but the result of the fire hitting it, like.

Jack: The pollution could be astounding.

Cristina: Yeah. Maybe he shouldn't use his fire powers, because I don't think that's. That's a good idea.

Jack: So he has to hit it.

Cristina: He fights. Or we can get King Kong.

Jack: I think it's a safer bet to get King Kong. But King Kong is so small next to, like, Godzilla.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. Unless you're talking about that movie where they're the same. Are they the same in that movie?

Jack: In that movie, they're the same. But that doesn't make any f****** sense because, again, King Kong had to climb the Empire State Building.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And it, like, took a while. Godzilla walks up to the Empire State Building, he's just staring at the tip. There's, like, a clear difference. They are not the same.

Cristina: He's got a bunch of powers. It's not just he breathes fire.

Jack: Godzilla. Yeah, he breathes fire. He also has, like, an ice blast or some s*** like that.

Cristina: Yeah. Like, depending on the movie, he probably has different powers. I think one time I read that he can also transform, like everything else. Like, he has transformations. He can go through transformations. I don't know how.

Jack: Shapeshift.

Cristina: Yeah. I tried to find a picture of it, but it's really, really hard. Maybe YouTube has something of it.

Jack: It would be like a clip of him turning into some s***, right?

Cristina: Yeah. Like, they described it as a giant eel, but it did not look like one to me.

Jack: What I'm. What I'm more interested in is, like, what are the powers he has? Because you could transform into some other s***, but, like, then what? You're still hitting a poo. Yeah, a giant poo the size of a building.

Cristina: Transforming won't help at all.

Jack: It won't. It's like, what are your abilities? Freezing the poo that's overpowered.

Cristina: If it could fly. If he can fly out into space, I don't know if he could grab.

Jack: Oh, s***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But then we gotta, like, want. He's still a lizard. Like, he can't survive in space.

Cristina: We don't need him to.

Jack: We need Mechagodzilla at that point. If we can use Mechagodzilla to give poo zilla.

Cristina: But does he have the same powers? Because. No, I think Mechagodzilla, you need freezing powers.

Jack: We could team up.

Cristina: Team up. Okay. Godzilla freezes the giant, like in that.

Jack: Stupid f****** movie where, for whatever reason, Godzilla and King Kong were the same size.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: At the end of the movie, they teamed up against Mechagodzilla.

Cristina: Poor cat.

Jack: That doesn't make any sense, considering you're both wild f****** animals.

Cristina: One of them. And then after the fight, he was like, okay, we're cool now.

Jack: Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's like you should. It should be a free for all. You should all three just be hooking off on each other. But you're like, no, we make sense. Where. Now you hit me so hard I can critically think.

Cristina: Yes, and we're cool now. But Godzilla was the bad guy the whole time. Right? And he beat the King Kong.

Jack: King Kong was a good guy.

Cristina: Yeah. Didn't we get King Kong to fight Godzilla? I don't know. That might not be the movie. I don't know. I didn't watch the movie. But I feel like that's what happened. I feel like we had.

Jack: Somebody was a bad guy, somebody was a good guy, and then they, whatever reason, joined.

Cristina: It's just Godzilla is always the bad guy. That's why I think. Then again, King. That is also.

Jack: But incorrect.

Cristina: He's not always a bad guy.

Jack: No, Godzilla's the good guy a lot of the time. Most times Godzilla's the good guy when.

Cristina: It comes to creatures, I guess.

Jack: Yes, you always call on Godzilla.

Cristina: But when it's not versus creatures, then Godzilla is the monster.

Jack: Yeah. Usually when it's solo Godzilla, no, He's just like f****** a city up.

Cristina: Wow.

Jack: Okay, okay. So for anybody who doesn't know what just happened, we took a pause. We looked at how Godzilla is called.

Cristina: And there was no call.

Jack: There was no call. Godzilla just kind of shows up.

Cristina: As long as you're in the water, it seems like you gotta take the monster to the water or around the.

Jack: Water and Godzilla will come and save the day. So Godzilla's not gonna save the city?

Cristina: No, he has no interest. Just don't mess with his home. That's why.

Jack: Yes. She's overprotective.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So interesting enough. The poop monster's only way out would be through water. So it would have to cross through Godzilla's home.

Cristina: So we don't have to summon Godzilla.

Jack: You don't need to summon Godzilla.

Cristina: They'll just want to get rid of the monster.

Jack: Is just gonna attract Godzilla.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And then the epic battle begins.

Cristina: But if Godzilla throws one of those mouth laser things, Godzilla cannot.

Jack: Godzilla needs ice.

Cristina: Are you sure there's a Godzilla with ice powers?

Jack: Yes, there definitely is Godzilla with ice powers. Crap, I thought there would be one.

Cristina: No, it seems like it's all radiation based.

Jack: Yeah, yeah. How's Godzilla gonna be Poopzilla?

Cristina: No, he. If he threws throws any beams That's. That's against the problem that we're trying to fight, I think.

Jack: Climate change.

Cristina: Yeah. So him doing anything would just cause more climate change.

Jack: So it has to be like a hand to hand combat.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: And Godzilla isn't like a T. Rex where he has tiny front arms. It's like normal sized arms. He could swing. He could. They gotta fight. It's a fight. They're gonna fight. They have to fight. That's the only way. Hit him with your tail or some s***. Break Poopzilla in half.

Cristina: His tail. It can't be that strong. Unless he turns into one of those transformations where his tail has a laser that lasts for him.

Jack: We can't let it.

Cristina: Oh no.

Jack: No lasers.

Cristina: No lasers.

Jack: By any means. We have to avoid hitting Poopzilla with a radioactive laser beam that's gonna fry the.

Cristina: Probably not the right guy. There's gotta be a giant ice monster.

Jack: Something that can freeze. I guess it comes down to human technology.

Cristina: We gotta freeze it.

Jack: Or Mechagodzilla. We can use Mechagodzilla to give it a hug and fling it into space.

Cristina: Okay, as long as he doesn't use any powers. Because I'm guessing he has the same exact powers. I don't know if they gave him anything different.

Jack: But all we could just get him to take Poopzilla into space. Fling him at the moon or something.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Poopzilla isn't gonna like come off. It doesn't have any.

Cristina: But will that affect us in the future though? Will poop be raining from the sky from the dead poop monster?

Jack: No. Be on the moon. He's not gonna break apart. Are you sure he's stay composed enough moving through the water? He's pretty solid at this point.

Cristina: Okay, yeah, if he survived the water. Yeah, like if he doesn't though, then we have another problem where our water is full of poop. Our water is full of poop, but it's way more. It's all our poop.

Jack: Well, yeah, but it's also like all our poop is already in the water. But this is so much water that the poop to water ratio, like I said before, is pretty insignificant. It's all collected in one spot. That's not like a lot of poop.

Cristina: Are you sure it's all in there? Oh, that sounds awful.

Jack: Yeah, that's one of the reasons the ocean is the worst place to go. People who go to the beach are just walking in the poop. Okay, but you can take Poopzilla to The moon. And thus got rid of the poop monster.

Cristina: What? If you can survive on the moon.

Jack: It's fine. Let him survive on the moon. He probably doesn't breathe. He's made a poop.

Cristina: Exactly. That's why he probably doesn't breathe.

Jack: So he'll be fine.

Cristina: But if he gains the ability to, like, shoot himself into space or something, he just swims through space and back.

Jack: To us, then we have a problem. But, like, that's an overpowered problem. How would he. Let's say he did evolve to be able to do that. What would it take for him to leave moon's orbit in the first place? Like, it would take a pretty monstrous jump. And his legs aren't, like, powerful like that. If he looks like Godzilla.

Cristina: Yeah. And he can't. Yeah. I don't know.

Jack: It would take some effort.

Cristina: Would he have powers like Godzilla? Does he have some type of breath power?

Jack: S*** power. He shoots a s*** beam.

Cristina: S*** beam. If he shoots the s*** beam out of his b*** to jump out that way.

Jack: Interesting. You think his s*** beam doesn't come out his mouth? It comes out his a**.

Cristina: It makes sense. If it came out of his a**.

Jack: He's a giant t*** that poops.

Cristina: Yeah. That makes the most sense.

Jack: A pooping t***.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Do you think our poo. I mean, technically. I mean, we established this in the past, right? That our poops. Was that on the show or we were just having like a private discussion about how poop is alive.

Cristina: I don't remember, but we. I think that was. That might be a clip or something. I don't know.

Jack: Really, I don't even know. Well, in case we didn't discuss this in front of a microphone, Poop is alive. We've established a poop is alive because it's made out of cells. Yeah, it's made out of cells. And all things made of cells are alive.

Cristina: That is so crazy. It shouldn't. I don't know. We. That was not in. Is that really. Man. We have to have these rules written out so we can look at them because I don't know if that's enough.

Jack: It's enough. The what? The f****** rules of life.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's easy. If it's made out of cells. It is the highest form of alive.

Cristina: It's the highest form. Poop is just the highest form of life.

Jack: Yeah. First you're alive, which is cellular.

Cristina: Wouldn't that be it?

Jack: What?

Cristina: It would just be alive?

Jack: Yeah, it's alive. Who is alive? Cellular. Then we have alive. So cellular. Then Alive, then galvan, then inanimate.

Cristina: So it's alive, but not inanimate. It's just alive.

Jack: No, it's like the highest form of alive. It's like equal to humans because it has cells.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. No, no, this doesn't make sense.

Jack: No, it's more alive than fire. Fire grows.

Cristina: There was rules. There was rules. Besides that. Was that really all that it needed? I feel like there was more to it. I don't know. Maybe it was just. It's hard to imagine poop is just alive. As alive as us.

Jack: It is, though, because all we're thinking. There are creatures like we discussed on the episode of Life that are.

Cristina: I need to see this.

Jack: But they're inanimate. They don't move. But they're made of plants. Yes, certain plants are just cellular things, but they don't.

Cristina: But they're alive anyway.

Jack: Exactly, because they're made of cells.

Cristina: Ah, I don't know.

Jack: They're made of cells.

Cristina: So poop is alive.

Jack: Poop is a living thing. There are some creatures that don't eat.

Cristina: I don't know, peasant. I think we were talking about sperm, and I don't think that made it.

Jack: No, sperm is the highest form of alive. We were trying to remove it. But it's made of cells, which.

Cristina: Then that's why you really gotta get. We gotta look at this list again. It's been a while.

Jack: It's been a while. Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay, so that's the list, right? There it goes. Cellular, alive, Galvan, and then inanimate.

Cristina: So then it's just cellular.

Jack: No, because everything above is everything below. But everything below is none of the above.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Jack: Yes. So everything cellular is by default alive.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Oh, Everything alive has all the rules that require something to be galvan, plus more.

Cristina: But it might not have cells then.

Jack: Yes, it could be alive without cells.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Although we don't have an example for it. We have cellular, which includes all of the things that are alive.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Unless cellular meant alive, but I don't. I don't believe so. I think it's cellular, alive, Galvan, and then something else.

Cristina: Inanimate.

Jack: Inanimate.

Cristina: I'm sure it makes sense. I'm a re listen to this episode and make the list myself so we can put it on the website.

Jack: Fair enough, Fair enough. We need that somewhere. It should have been in the show notes. I don't know.

Cristina: Yes, but it will be in these show notes. Maybe like a link to it.

Jack: Yeah, and we'll put it in the past. Show notes. As well. We just have to establish what it is. Not even like a hard search.

Cristina: Yeah, it's not. So.

Jack: But I'm pretty sure it goes in that order. Cellular, alive, Galvin, inanimate. There might be a fifth one. I don't remember what the f*** it was.

Cristina: There might be.

Jack: Or not alive, just dead.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess that would be just that.

Jack: Yeah. And Galvin satisfies some of the things on the list.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Alive satisfies all of the. It checks off everything on the list. But it doesn't need to be made of cells.

Cristina: Yeah. I think the example was like, if God was a thing.

Jack: Yeah, well, no, God doesn't actually check the list because he doesn't need to eat and he doesn't need to poop. Yeah, He's Galvin.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: He's like fire in the sun.

Cristina: Yes, but we don't have no example.

Jack: Of something that's purely alive. We just know that that's a thing that's necessary.

Cristina: What about robots? If they become conscious or whatever.

Jack: I don't know. And the other thing is, we did Frankenstein as an example.

Cristina: And what was he?

Jack: I believe Frankenstein was. He's a cellular. Right. But those cells are all dead.

Cristina: But they were brought back to life.

Jack: So he was brought back to life. I don't know if everything else is functioning as should be. He might be an example of something alive. Yes, because he's undead. So he's not dead anymore. He's alive, but he's not cellular because all the cells are dead.

Cristina: Oh, okay. So zombies would be the same thing? I guess.

Jack: Depends on the zombie. A voodoo zombie. Yes. Currently zombies aren't dead people.

Cristina: They're not dead people. Okay. They're not.

Jack: They're infected people.

Cristina: They're still okay. Yeah, but doesn't it take the infected person to die? To turn?

Jack: No. You can get bitten and just turn.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some examples. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Okay, so the poop is alive.

Cristina: The poop is alive. I guess.

Jack: Cellular, but, like, doesn't need air. I'm assuming it's made of poo. Poo doesn't need air to stay alive.

Cristina: Yeah, it's just poo.

Jack: And it would never get back to us. It would be too hard. It would need a crazy mutation.

Cristina: The poop monster.

Jack: Yeah, Poopzilla.

Cristina: If you had the poop flying power to fart, you know, he wouldn't be able to get to.

Jack: The question is, would he be wasting himself and doing it?

Cristina: Oh, okay. There's just gonna be a bunch of poop in the Sky.

Jack: It wouldn't even like he would think about the distance between the moon surface and leaving the moon's gravitational pull. You will dissolve and just flop back onto the floor as a puddle.

Cristina: So. But not onto Earth. It would just be poop puddles onto the moon.

Jack: Yeah, because before you get out, you still need the pressure to lift your whole body weight.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And escape moon velocity.

Cristina: So we don't have to worry about this poop no matter what.

Jack: No, if we get it to the moon, we're fine.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So the solution is Mecha Godzilla to get rid of Poopzilla, and then we can continue using the catacombs to deposit all.

Cristina: Why would we do that again?

Jack: We wouldn't have stopped. Why did we? Why would we stop? If we were successfully solving the pollution problem.

Cristina: So we're just gonna keep doing that. But then what if it makes a big enough poop monster on the moon and that shoots back onto Earth or something?

Jack: I think there would be many different poop monsters on the moon.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And we can also vary our tossing of them. We're assuming that they try to leave with their poop launcher and they just die, falling back down to the moon as a puddle. Yeah, and it'll take many, many millennia before there's enough spread out puddle that it's touching each other, forming new poop monsters.

Cristina: So we'll have giant poop monsters.

Jack: Y. We'll have time. There'll be time to deal with these poop.

Cristina: Because what if they become poop humans or something?

Jack: They could start a whole poop civilization on the moon.

Cristina: But then they get. They create a poop rocket ship to come back here.

Jack: Then we have a problem. But they have to like, technologically advance. Yeah, they need poop knowledge. And as they advance. Well, first they need to begin on the. The poop age, which is when they're using basic poop tools. And then they're going to go through like more advanced poop industrial revolutions and farming and s*** like that. You know, start building the cities.

Cristina: What would farming be like? You're just farming poop, I guess. Are you eating poop? Is that cannibalism?

Jack: They farm corn exclusively.

Cristina: Where did they get the corn from? I guess if, like, it's our poop. Okay. Yeah, okay, there's corn there.

Jack: They eat nothing but corn. And they eat corn, beans, and nuts.

Cristina: But how are they gonna grow those things on the moon? Is enough poop gonna somehow help the moon have plants to grow?

Jack: Like, I don't look after they become sentient on the Moon, it'll naturally start to become poop reformed. Like terraforming, but poop.

Cristina: Yes. Okay.

Jack: And so a different kind of ecosystem will form on the moon.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Science man, Ecosystems happen naturally. And so after there's enough puddles of poop from giant monsters trying to get off the moon, but then falling back down though, there's gonna be poop oceans. And as Earth starts warming up and we. And the sun gets bigger and heats up even the moon to the right temperature, poop cells are gonna start to evolve. Because it's already made of cells. There's already cells up there. It just needs the right condition to start evolving.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So over millions of years, it's gonna happen. So one day we're just gonna be attacked by random people who discovered the ability. And we're not far. We're Earth, but we're gonna be so advanced by that point, it's not a problem.

Cristina: We're talking million times. We know when it's advancing. We'll be watching.

Jack: Yeah. In fact we're probably gonna first directive that s***. And just like we get the zoo theory, we gotta like the zoo hypothesis. You know, we gotta keep the moon safe because they're evolving naturally. Yeah, we got it. We can't interfere with. We made it and now they're living thing. We gotta let it happen naturally.

Cristina: But we can't let it touch us because it'll probably kill us. I don't.

Jack: Yeah, we're gonna be so clean by then. Yeah, I mean we got rid of our poo and pollution and just threw it up there over and over. Yeah, we haven't that. Like that would kill us.

Cristina: Yes, it would kill us.

Jack: But we've got the technology to just fend it off.

Cristina: Okay. What?

Jack: Okay, so technology saved the day.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Sure. Technology destroyed the planet to begin with.

Cristina: Mm. But then we made it someone else's problem.

Jack: Yes, the moon. And then we made life. We're God.

Cristina: Mm. S*** became we're God.

Jack: Of course. Exactly the way you'd expect humans would become God. By s***. Yeah, by means of s***.

Cristina: Everything we make is s***.

Jack: Everything we make is s***. And now quite literally the s*** we make is s*** we make.

Cristina: Yes, it makes sense. It's the way it's supposed to go.

Jack: The s*** we make is. Yes, it's. We are always sitting around questioning. Right.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: The next stage is machines. The next stage is machines. We're f****** stupid. It's been underneath our a**** this whole time.

Cristina: It's. But we can also see it from like what we've done. To the planet, what we've done to animals. Turning wolves into dogs.

Jack: Yes. Everything gets turned to s***. We turn everything to s***.

Cristina: Exactly. You can just look at what we've done.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah. From a wolf to a pug. We made s***.

Cristina: We have been doing that this whole time.

Jack: We just didn't know. It's like the. It's like the writer that goes his whole life, you know, I'm be a lawyer. I'm gonna be a doctor. And writes in his journal every day since he was, like, f****** five years old. I wonder what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna write stories about what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna be that. And grows up, goes to college. I'm gonna be this. I'm be that 30 years. I'll be this, I'll be. That makes it 40. I'm gonna be this, I'm gonna be that. Always writing about it. And then he realizes, oh, s***. I've been writing my whole life. I'm a writer. Of course, I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, an architect or this or I'm a writer.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: That's where we are. We're like, technology is what we do. No. Wrong making s*** is what we do.

Cristina: That's what we do. That's all we do.

Jack: Always done. We make s***.

Cristina: Yeah. And that will help us somehow save the world.

Jack: It's gonna. Well, we're also the cause of the problem.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Which is very us.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It's so us to create a monster by accident and then have to save it and then pat ourselves on the back for saving it.

Cristina: Exactly. Exactly.

Jack: Like, we did it, guys. We saved the world. It's like, it wouldn't have needed saving.

Cristina: I guess that's the same story with Godzilla. Like, we proud that we stopped him from destroying us, but also it's our fault.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah. We made Godzilla.

Cristina: Yeah. He's the monster that we made through technology and destruction.

Jack: To be completely fair, like, we own the Dragon Balls at this point. Like, we got. We got the big balls, too.

Cristina: The big balls.

Jack: Yeah. We could just summon this super mega Shenron guy and just get rid. But it would be too easy. And it's like, it'd be cooler.

Cristina: That would be so pointless.

Jack: Yeah. Like, it defeats the purpose of everything. We kind of got overpowered with that one.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So we no longer touch those because it's not fun. I'd rather use our s***** technology. Like the f****** time machine and the quantum computer and that stupid portal. We still don't understand.

Cristina: Then you. Why didn't we send it through the portal?

Jack: Why didn't we send all the poop through the portal then?

Cristina: We don't know if it could just come back through the portal.

Jack: We don't. Ish did.

Cristina: Ish did.

Jack: Yeah, he hopped in and out, like, effortlessly.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So that's probably total disregard for his health.

Cristina: All right, this plan works, then.

Jack: If we can replicate that portal, we can maybe just put that portal at the bottom of the catacombs. Oh, and make sure that the version we make is, like, hanging in that side.

Cristina: But we don't know where Mindscape came from.

Jack: We just got. I guess we got to really look into this portal.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: D***. We now got a reason. We could stop global warming. If we think about it.

Cristina: We're gonna use this portal for that. Just for poop.

Jack: For poop.

Cristina: All right.

Jack: We're gonna. We're gonna make a poop portal.

Cristina: Okay. That's all crazy, but if it randomly popped up in my backyard, I feel like there might be more random ones out there.

Jack: True. And they're. Fair enough. That is really solid thinking. We just didn't. We're like, I know it's a portal, but, like, there has to be more, right?

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: The question is, is it on Earth? How would we find these portals? I think Minecraft rules.

Cristina: Minecraft rules.

Jack: We have to enter your portal and exit through one of the others to see where it is.

Cristina: I don't know, because we don't know what's in there.

Jack: Subhumans are gonna be in there.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: Boom.

Cristina: Yep. We solved it. Okay.

Jack: Solved it. We're gonna send some subhumans through your portal and try to get them to come out any of the other portals and then contact us immediately. Unless at least a different universe entirely.

Cristina: Yes. Okay. Let's do that. Mm.

Jack: So I guess that's that. We figured it out and.

Cristina: Saved the day.

Jack: Save the day.

Cristina: With our poop.

Jack: With our poop. And, like, somehow we got here from a homeless man sticking his finger into your mouth.

Cristina: Not in my mouth.

Jack: In the mouth of our listeners.

Cristina: Oh, yeah. I don't know. It also let us have dead babies.

Jack: In the porta potties.

Cristina: In the porta potties. Yep. And who knows how many dead babies are out there.

Jack: And then we were revolutionizing toilets in the first place.

Cristina: And then that led us to the homeless people. Led us to the portal potties. That led us to the toilet.

Jack: Well, we were talking about, where do we home? Well, because homeless people. The problem is that homeless people take s**** Wherever. And you were like, in the porta Potties.

Cristina: Yeah. Then where did we get the whole. Let's not have toilets that splash water.

Jack: On our butts, because where do we go to, like, what's the difference between the Porta Potty? Like, a porta Pot is cleaner by default. Right. Because a public toilet, like, you're trying to not sit on the toilet seat, but, like, the water still splashing up.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And like, that shared toilet, that water is toxic. And I'm like, okay, we can solve that problem by making a new toilet.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Then I'm like, why would we just make new toy.

Cristina: Why don't we just revolutionize the homeless guy? The toilet.

Jack: The homeless guy.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And then the porta potty with the babies. And then the new toilet.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: And then that led to the entire revamp of the sewage system, which then led to Poopzilla, which we found out in the fight with Godzilla. Godzilla can't win.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And then we called in Mechazilla to take it to the moon, where then an entirely new civilization formed over millions of years. And they're at any moment gonna wage war. But we've carefully been watching them and holding them at bay. And to stop that from happening all over again, we're gonna make a new portal. After studying your portal and send the rest of the poop through there.

Cristina: So we're gonna have the sub humans explore that portal.

Jack: Yes. While the other sub humans are on a continuous war with the poop people of the moon.

Cristina: Okay, that sounds good.

Jack: Legit.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: We've solved all the problems. Pollution is over.

Cristina: Yes. I feel like we found things on the moon before. Wasn't there something on the moon?

Jack: On the dark side of the moon. It's shared with the Chinese.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: I think there's aliens or demons or something.

Cristina: Exactly. Like, we've got quite a few things up there.

Jack: We're f****** up space. Like, that's pretty. What? Pretty much like, the more scientific and, like, advanced technologically we get, that's not.

Cristina: Where we put our prison. It wasn't the moon. It was Mars.

Jack: Mars.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Okay.

Jack: But no, there's s*** on the moon too. I'm, like, sure of it. We just haven't gone up there in so long. I don't remember.

Cristina: Like, the roaches, they come from the moon?

Jack: No, they were from Mars.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: That's why we on the replacement Mars, we created prisons that hold all kind of creatures.

Cristina: Yeah. All right.

Jack: And eventually some poop monsters will be there. Some people, I guess. I Guess they're not monsters. How disrespectful.

Cristina: It depends on what they evolve into.

Jack: Fair, fair. Anyways, I guess find out next time what they turn into people. Stay tuned. To be continued. What poop people turn to be. And you can find, I guess either last episode or two episodes ago, we were talking about Godzilla as well. And compete seeing what it could fight. And actually size comparison. We're doing size comparisons.

Cristina: If you. Giant snake like dragon, like monsters.

Jack: Yeah. If you ever seen this, the scaling things on YouTube. Like this star is that size. And this is like this galaxy is bigger than that. Like that thing. We did that.

Cristina: Yeah. With fictional dragons.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Starting all the way at like a griffin.

Cristina: That's not really it. I guess it counts because it has wings.

Jack: And it took us all the way through dragons to the biggest dragons, which is where we collected the super mega ultra awesome balls.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: That we don't use because then life would be meaningless as f***. So, yeah, you can go check that out. You can find those episodes, any related episodes and a multitude of other episodes on the official website. Great thoughts.

Cristina: Like that episode about life also go check that out.

Jack: Oh, yes, the life checklist. And learn about it. And we'll try. We'll dig into that too. You can find that on the official website. Greatthoughts.info on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.

Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. Uscombopod.

Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe and rate the show. Rate it. Leave us a rating. And if you want to, we won't force you necessarily, but you can leave us a review. We'd like those too.

Cristina: And let someone who might like this show know about it.

Jack: Yes, especially the homeless guy. All he wanted was some connection and some intimacy. And, you know, you're a kinky f***** who likes to stick your finger in your girl's mouth. He was doing the same to you just to show you love.

Cristina: Awesome.

Jack: And that's when you caught AIDS and died.

Cristina: So how is he showing?

Jack: He didn't know he was gonna give you AIDS and you were gonna die.

Cristina: Oh, I mean, we're gonna give him cancer anyway.

Jack: Yeah, you f***** regardless. Like, you heard this episode. You're done.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Might as well suck on that homeless man finger.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Enjoy.

Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: New conspiracy. Netflix started the Pandemic because they didn't let it be in the award ceremony.

Cristina: It's their revenge.

Jack: Yeah. So now, nobody gets to be in the award ceremony unless the award ceremony is rewritten to allow all the things.

Cristina: That were not in theaters in theaters.

Jack: That's Netflix ripping it.

Cristina: That's their evil plan.

Jack: That's their genius plan.

Cristina: But how would Netflix, of all things, be able to do all this?

Jack: It just paid Raccoon City, like the people, the doctors in China. Raccoon City, China, to make the virus.

Cristina: That's exactly what paid for the virus.

Jack: Paid for the virus to be released.

Cristina: Yeah. Okay.

Jack: And they're like, the pandemic is gonna make everybody go inside and nobody's gonna go to theaters. And then everything that goes to theaters to get the awards, because it was in theaters, now it can't go to the wards, just like we can't go to the awards. So if they want it, they gotta rewrite the rules for years. People are gonna be too scared to go to theaters because the virus might still be out there. And so we win, everybody. Now we are the award show. Only if your movie came through our platform. And we might Only them. No, we might not even allow you to have your movie on our platform if you were gonna not let us be in your stupid f****** award show.

Cristina: Should be just that one director. Unless there's multiple directors who were like that.

Jack: No, I think it was just George Lucas. Right? It was just. So no Star wars on Netflix. I mean, they can't anyways.

Cristina: That goes to Disney.

Jack: Yep. So George Lucas can never be. Was this f****** part of it that they know.

Cristina: But then Disney needs to make their own award thing.

Jack: But it wouldn't matter because it's only Disney things. They're just patting themselves on.

Cristina: They could do that, I guess.

Jack: Nobody would give a s***. It Netflix won Netflix one. If they decide to make an award show about the shows and movies that are on Netflix, they f****** win. Not even originals, just things that could only be released when they get put there. Yeah, because where else are we gonna put them? And I already made them. And how are we gonna get the money back? We're gonna wait four years and go broke? No, they need to go somewhere. So we'll get Netflix to give us the money by putting it on Netflix.

Cristina: Now Netflix is making moves and making their own Hollywood areas.

Jack: That's crazy, dude. I'm telling you, this is part of the plan. Netflix is trying to take over.

Cristina: Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor, and Published by Great Thoughts.info Art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media, managed by Amber Black.