Rambling 137: The Woodsman vs The Griffin
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Will our human instincts get us in trouble more often than they will help us? And would God’s Zilla beat a Griffin in a fight? The duo make it their duty to unpack and resolve some of the most pressing issues about size and survival when it comes to creatures of all types, including human huntsman and gods.
+Episode Details
Topics Discussed
- The Woodsman
- Axe Killer
- Japan Sinks Spoilers
- Survival Instincts
- Mermaids vs Mermen
- Ireland isn’t Real
- Talking Birds
- Link’s Sword
- The Garden of Eden
- God’s Zilla
- Men Over Women
- Bird vs Griffin
- Shenron
- World Serpent
- Unicorn Magic
- Cybertron
Our Links:
Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast
Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod
Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod
Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod
+Transcript
Cristina: This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean?
Cristina: Welcome to Just Conversation, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.
Jack: And I'm Jack.
Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes are released.
Jack: And also, this show is most enjoyable with listening partners, so be sure to go find somebody while you're traveling in through the woods or wherever you usually casually stroll through with your knife. Right. You're always in the woods with some kind of dangerous tool or something, because that's what our listeners do. They turn. Their ipods are brand new, you know, state of the art ipod or their Zune. A lot of people have their Zune.
Cristina: What is a Zune?
Jack: It's like the failed ripoff MP3 players.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So like, a lot of people, they don't even have ipods. They're just. Everybody's checking out on their Zunes, listening to the Just Conversation podcast on their Zune and they connect it and they're walking through the woods. Some people have a whole boombox. I remember that too. Some people just had a boombox that they were like blasting. But you're finding random teenagers who are camping in the woods with your boombox and. Or your Zune and some headphones and a knife or a machete or an axe that you just happen to also be wandering through. And when you see the kids, you just full fledged, just start dashing in their direction with all the force, all the force you have. You just dash as fast as you can towards them to tell them, hey, you guys can listen to this.
Cristina: What?
Jack: It's great.
Cristina: That is so horrifying.
Jack: It's great. The first thought they're gonna have is, we want to listen to that show.
Cristina: We want to listen to that.
Jack: We want to listen to that show. He seems so convinced we should listen.
Cristina: He looks so excited. Is he running towards them with a smile on his face?
Jack: Yes, with a smile on his face. A Zune or a boombox in one hand and an axe in the other. Just because he's just in case. You never know what's going to attack you in the woods. So you know, he has electronics. If something attacks him, he's there, he has defense. But he's like, hey, a bunch of campers. And I'm assuming you usually roam the woods, which is why, you know, to have an axe in the first place. So you probably like got a scraggly beard and you've got like a bunch of dirty like woods type clothing, but.
Cristina: Type clothing?
Jack: Yeah. Like. Like you've been out there for a while so you're not necessarily city ready but you're kind looking guy. Maybe you hunt yourself. So you use that same axe to hunt. So it's got some blood from an animal on it or whatever.
Cristina: Maybe.
Jack: Yeah. And maybe you got some blood on yourself from having just hunted a deer and you're coming from.
Cristina: Hunts a deer with an ax.
Jack: He hunts a deer with an axe. Because he is a solid deer hunter.
Cristina: What kind of deer hunter? That's a really skilled.
Jack: He's a beast, bro. He's a pro. He runs out there and just flings the axe and catches the deer. First shot in the head.
Cristina: Is he a character from a video game?
Jack: He could be. He's the. The warrior from Gauntlet.
Cristina: He's a war. Okay.
Jack: And he just sees a deer from far. He's far as. But he's such a good axe thrower that he at a distance predicts where that deer's head is gonna be, throws it and then one shots the deer in the head.
Cristina: That is amazing. I wish these kids saw that. But they just see the aftermath.
Jack: They just see him after he just finished taking the deer. He's gonna go home to get the equipment to go skin and you know, prepare the deer. And as he's going home, he sees a bunch of kids who just pulled up, put their tents down and stuff. And he's just wandering and. And he has his boombox and he has his. His axe and he sees the kids and he just starts dashing towards them like people. How exciting. I can show them the show. And he just starts.
Cristina: Because we just said, hey, go tell someone about it.
Jack: Yeah. Just as he saw them.
Cristina: As he saw. Yeah.
Jack: And so he's just. Wow, what a. What are the chances that I would be at this part of the episode.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: When I see a bunch of kids and so just full, full dash. Full dash. Totally as fast as he can in their direction.
Cristina: Wow, that's an incredible story. I hope this is real. I hope this is happening right now, man.
Jack: Do you think it's happening right now? F****** amazing.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: I wonder how often there is a. What was the name of that movie where the kids were just hanging out in the woods and there were the two guys who were just like. Like lumberjacks or whatever?
Cristina: Yeah, I don't remember. They had some plain a** names.
Jack: Yeah, it was like Dale and some s***.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Evil.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: I forget the name of it, but, like, I'm sure that's happened. Not really, man. Maybe somebody died just because they thought it was. Is the problem is people do crazy s*** when they're scared?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And that's a problem. People react f****** nuts, you know?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: People get crazy when they're scared and they do crazy s***. People in panic are completely irrational.
Cristina: Yes. Like those children.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: Wait, no. Are those. Who are. Who's the crazy people right now?
Jack: The kids, the teenagers in the. In the movie, I guess. And in the case of our. Our woodsman traveling while listening to the show the Children, I guess he has a Zune, right? Because if they heard. If he has a boombox and they heard him. Yeah, they heard that part because he's close enough to see them and there's nothing else happening in the woods, which means the boombox would echo pretty nicely.
Cristina: So it shouldn't be a boombox.
Jack: It shouldn't be a boombox. This is the guy who is actually traveling with his brand new Zun.
Cristina: All right?
Jack: And the reason he has a Zune is because he's a woodsman and he's not caught up on technology. It all makes sense now.
Cristina: Of course.
Jack: Yes. So he's on his Zune, hears it all. They see it. They don't even see the Zune because it's so small. They just see a dude with an ax that's bloody, covered, like, covered with blood. His outfit is covered with blood.
Cristina: Where's the deer?
Jack: He left the deer.
Cristina: Where he left the deer?
Jack: He left the deer because he. What the f*** is he gonna do? Carry the deer? Yeah, like how big a deer is? He's got to go get the things to chop the deer up. Oh, he killed the deer. Now he's gonna get the things and gonna go clean the deer up.
Cristina: How does he make sure that other animals don't steal the deer?
Jack: He's not gonna be gone forever.
Cristina: Yeah, but I don't know how far he is from where he needs to go.
Jack: I'm assuming he's not just hunting way far away from home. Like, he's a. I'm sure he's prepared for this because otherwise he just hunted way the f*** far away, didn't really think it through, and is gonna lose what he killed.
Cristina: He throws an axe at the deer. That's so crazy.
Jack: That's how trained he is.
Cristina: Carry the deer home.
Jack: It's huge. A deer is f****** huge. A deer is easily 400, £500.
Cristina: Really?
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: That sounds crazy. Oh, my gosh okay.
Jack: Yeah. Okay, Fair enough. Let's find out.
Cristina: Okay. It says that usually 130 to 300 pounds, but there have been reports of over 350 pounds.
Jack: That's crazy. Fair enough. 130 pounds. A, like, jacked enough guy could definitely carry that. So I guess in theory, he could carry. He could carry the deer.
Cristina: If it's 300, though.
Jack: Yeah, that's a little harder. And plus, the distance, Even if it's £130, the distance he'll be carrying it, it's more efficient to grab what you need.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Then take the whole f****** deer. Yeah, like, you don't need the head. That's added weight. The legs, added weight. But also, you don't want to just carry, like, a mangled corpse.
Cristina: Yeah, but he shouldn't just leave the deer there. I think he should hang it on a tree, which is cool, because if the kids do run and they run through the forest, they see the deer up in the tree, I mean, he's.
Jack: Not trying to scare the kids.
Cristina: I know, but it's just a horrifying moment for the kids, too.
Jack: Yeah, that would just be highly inconvenient if he was also doing that.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: But actually, I think that's how you drain the deer of blood in the first place. You do things like that. Like, you hang it up. So maybe he did.
Cristina: He did.
Jack: He probably hung it up so that it would, like, bleed out so that.
Cristina: How much horrifying is that then? Like, it's just a bloody mess. With a deer hanging on a tree.
Jack: Probably with the deer, usually they cut the deer's neck so that it bleeds out through its neck. Because you hang it from its legs so that the blood comes downward towards its main artery. And so you cut its neck so that it would bleed out the most.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And drain it. And then you come and cut it down and take the meat you want from it. So it's completely possible that there is a deer hanging and as he's dashing towards the children, but they would be running away from him, and he's coming from the deer. So they wouldn't see the deer anyways until they circle back around.
Cristina: Yeah, if they have to do that.
Jack: If they have to. Yeah. So for whatever reason, these kids, they panic.
Cristina: They definitely panic.
Jack: They do. They shouldn't, though, because he's just trying to get them to listen to the show. It ain't that serious. It's just a show. It's a podcast.
Cristina: But if you see this man, do not run from him.
Jack: But also, if you see this man, and you're hearing us tell you not to run from him, you're probably also looking for somebody to listen to the show.
Cristina: Yeah. So then you do walk. You listen to the show with him.
Jack: Well, no, because you're both listening to the show already. You need to get somebody else.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Yeah. Then again, it doesn't say, find somebody who isn't already listening to the show.
Cristina: Are you sure?
Jack: Yeah. Just says, get a listening partner.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: So fair enough. If you're both listening to this and you know that the other interesting. If you're one of the kids in the woods who's already listening to the show.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And the guy in the woods starts.
Cristina: Running towards you, you listen to the show with us. Well, we.
Jack: We've straight up told you about the guy running towards you.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Which is weird because we would predict such a thing. So the guy in the woods is like, wow, this is, like, highly specific. And about me, while the kid who's listening in the woods while his friends are just, like, f****** inside of a tent or whatever they're doing, he's thinking the same thing. He's like, yeah, this is, like, weirdly specific.
Cristina: Yeah. So they run towards each other. What does his friends think when they see him running towards the man with an axe?
Jack: Like the fact that he's not running away. Yeah, they're just like, he. He. He suggested we come here. Whatever's about to happen, he's f****** in on it. Of course he said we should come to the woods. He begged us. We don't even like the woods or city kids. But he told us, hey, man, come on, let's. And now he's just chilling there. We see this maniac with an axe running towards us, man.
Cristina: This is that movie, though, because he's gonna. He's gonna end up, like, tripping in front of the guy, getting killed from the ax or something. And then they're gonna be like, oh, my gosh, he tried to protect us, and then he died.
Jack: Who?
Cristina: The kid.
Jack: The kid who already knows?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: I feel like he's the one who's not gonna die.
Cristina: Then again, if he accidentally died in front, like, while he was running to the guy with the axe.
Jack: But why would he. If the guy's holding the axe, they would both have to trip.
Cristina: Oh, then maybe they do trip. I'm just thinking of the movie that it just happened like that.
Jack: But this isn't the movie. This is real life.
Cristina: Oh, this is real life.
Jack: This is real life. This isn't. The events from that Movie.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: But if somehow that kid did happen to die, I'm not sure why he would, but if he did, now this guy doesn't have somebody to listen with, which means he has to chase one of these other kids down. And he knows he needs a listening partner. So now he has a pause. He just stops. He's like, f***, I know this kid was listening. I saw his ipod.
Jack: And so he wraps up his. He takes his headphones off, he pauses the show, he does whatever due to a Zune to lock it so it doesn't hit play accidentally. He wraps it up, puts it in his pocket. I have no idea. He puts it in his pocket and then he just starts dashing behind one of his kids because he needs somebody to listen with.
Cristina: Yes, because I forgot the many reasons. I don't know. He dies, someone in his family dies, someone gets cancer. He gets cancer. I don't know.
Jack: What are we talking about?
Cristina: Like if you don't get someone to listen to a show, what happens if.
Jack: You don't get somebody to listen to the show? I'm going to harm your children. Oh, yes, Your children are in danger. Later you'll be in danger too. But I'm gonna make sure to hit you emotionally first.
Cristina: Was part of it somehow.
Jack: Well, no. Everybody who listens gets cancer.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: So yeah, both of these people have cancer anyways.
Cristina: All right.
Jack: Because they heard the show.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: That's just an inevitability.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Actually, anybody listening to the show, if you're hearing this part of the. Actually, if you heard the show at all, I'm just reminding you right now, you have cancer.
Cristina: You have cancer. Yeah. So you got to continue listening.
Jack: Yeah. At this point you already got cancer. Commitment.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Just commit. You already got cancer for listening to the show. Commit.
Cristina: Do we have cancer?
Jack: No, because we don't listen to the show.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: We're immune.
Cristina: Alright.
Jack: It's something about listening to the show without being here live in the studio with us that gives you cancer. Yeah, it's kind of like 5G towers.
Cristina: I was thinking of 5G and how it related. I had no clue how, though.
Jack: I don't know how either. I just know that it'll give you cancer. Like if it was 5G.
Cristina: Like if it was 5G. I thought somehow our voices gave out 5G or something. I don't know.
Jack: I don't know either. It's very interesting. Maybe it's a combination of our voices and some electronic listening device.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: That creates some sort of gene mutation that then causes cancer.
Cristina: Yeah. And somehow relates to the 5G towers. Yes.
Jack: Well, it's similar to whatever the 5G towers are causing. It's not necessarily related to the 5G towers, but it's like whatever frequency they're causing, we're causing.
Cristina: Whoa.
Jack: The mixture of our voice frequencies and the electronic device that's projecting our voice.
Cristina: That's crazy. So this deer man hunts some children.
Jack: I mean, he's not hunting children.
Cristina: Oh, yeah, he's not hunting children. It just looks like he's hunting children.
Jack: No, it looks like he's trying to get somebody to listen to the show.
Cristina: If they know what he's doing. But he looks like he's hunting children.
Jack: I don't know. I'm not in their head.
Cristina: You're not in the children, or I guess whoever is looking at the children being chased by this man.
Jack: Yeah. Or the children. I don't. I have no idea what any. Like, I know he's chasing the children to get somebody to listen to the show. I'm not sure why I should think about anything else. Oh, I know. His intentions are pure and noble.
Cristina: Yes, but what do you think the children are thinking?
Jack: I don't know. Depends on the kid.
Cristina: You think any of them are like, yeah, he accidentally killed my friend. I should go listen to the show.
Jack: I think the kid who died died at random.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Because the woodsman would be totally distraught if he knew that that kid died. The kid must have died completely out of his sight. Nevertheless.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Because, like, it must have been that the kid was running towards the woodsman and he felt like down a hole and hit his head and died or some s***.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: While the woodsman was running towards the other kids without seeing that there was somebody else was listening to the show. Because if he knew the other kid died, he's a good guy. He's not a bad guy.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: He would just immediately go to help. He'd probably stop positive, like, he's a good guy. Just pause, stop the show and, like, call the cops or some s***.
Cristina: But he didn't see it happen.
Jack: Didn't see it happen.
Cristina: But did they see it happen?
Jack: They probably saw it happen. They don't think he killed the kid. No, they just know the kid died.
Cristina: That's crazy, though. Those are two crazy events happening one after another.
Jack: What's the other crazy event other than him dying?
Cristina: The guy with an axe running towards them?
Jack: Oh, I guess. But that's not like a guy trying to kill you. That's just a guy running towards you trying to get you to listen to.
Cristina: A show, but they don't know that it's just a guy with an Axe.
Jack: Yeah, 100%. If you saw a guy running towards you with an axe, you wouldn't just think he's trying to get you to listen to a podcast?
Cristina: No.
Jack: What are you gonna think? Why are you gonna think something crazy?
Cristina: Cuz that looks crazy.
Jack: Based on what? When have you experienced a guy running towards you with an axe being something dangerous?
Cristina: Well, he's covered in blood, so that's pretty scary.
Jack: Hunters, butchers, soldiers, all the time covered in blood.
Cristina: They don't go running towards normal people.
Jack: If somebody had a broken. Like there's a horrible accident somewhere.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And somebody survived, first thing they're gonna do is find the first person that can help or anybody who isn't involved and tell them.
Cristina: But this guy's running with a smile on his face.
Jack: Yeah, he's super excited.
Cristina: Exactly. That's even more scary.
Jack: Is it less scary than if somebody has a horrified look on their face running towards you with an axe?
Cristina: Well, if he's covered in blood, maybe that's more normal because, like, oh, some kind of accident did happen and that's why he looks so upset.
Jack: Fair enough.
Cristina: While he's smiling, it's like he did something and he wants to, I don't know, do it again.
Jack: But why do you think. I mean, obviously he did something. But, like, who says it's something bad?
Cristina: The blood is just assumed.
Jack: It's just assumed. It's animal blood. You're in the worst.
Cristina: How do I know?
Jack: How do you know it's not?
Cristina: I don't know. I don't know.
Jack: Just assuming the worst.
Cristina: Yes. I saw the guy go missing. It could be his fault somehow.
Jack: What, the other kid?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: What?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Why? You just saw the kid randomly fall.
Cristina: That's like. What's that show called? The Japanese Japan is thinking when the girl just fell. Oh, my God, she died.
Jack: That. That s*** scarred the f*** out of me, bro. That was the crate. Out of all the s*** that happened, that was the one that I was like. Because I didn't know what the f*** happened. It's like a moment of what?
Cristina: Yeah, I had to rewind it when I saw that. Yeah, but the dad's death was crazier. I don't know. I know they're equally crazy. I don't. It's hard to raise.
Jack: I don'. Yeah, it was totally unexpected. I truly believed this show was gonna be about the daughter and the father. But he's the first guy to die.
Cristina: Yeah, but I feel like, he was one of the first characters. Although I guess each member of the family was the first one of the first characters to be introduced, so you would think they were the ones to survive the whole thing. But no, just one person. No two people, I guess. Yeah.
Jack: We just spoiled the s*** out of this. For anybody listening. That's old spoilers after the fact. But the girl falling into the hole was a crazy one. Not even a hole. It was like a hill.
Cristina: It was just a hill. She was just running and she didn't even fall.
Jack: She just slid down there.
Cristina: Yep.
Jack: And then she's just thrown on the floor, collapsed. It's like, what the f*** happened? And you don't know what happened?
Cristina: No.
Jack: So nuts.
Cristina: But you know not to go there. That's horrifying. Yeah, man. The character, the main character was so close to die at that moment.
Jack: Character's pretty close. Dang.
Cristina: A lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That show was pretty epic.
Jack: Yeah. Anybody and everybody should f****** watch Japan Sinks.
Cristina: Yes. It gets a little weird with the whole psychic s***. Psychic, yes. Yes.
Jack: That got strange.
Cristina: It did get strange, but it's pretty epic otherwise. Otherwise, yes.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty badass show. But that being said about these kids, like, I think that's a problem people have where they do make assumptions all the time. They think that whatever initial thought they had makes sense. We have a problem of doing that in society.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And doesn't really make sense because you don't have, like, a basis for that. Like, what. What the f*** are really the odds?
Cristina: It's instincts. It's protecting us.
Jack: Is it, though? A lot of the time, instincts is why we do s*** that hurts other people. That guy runs towards you and gets close enough, you panic attack him.
Cristina: And he was innocent.
Jack: And he was innocent.
Cristina: That's true.
Jack: So is it protecting you or is it harming other people?
Cristina: Maybe. Once upon a time, though, it was helping.
Jack: Yes. But now we have. We're having trouble of getting rid of these bugs or adjusting them because getting rid of it entirely, then that means we're always introduced to danger and we could easily be killed.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: But we're having trouble adjusting them to the new world.
Cristina: Definitely.
Jack: That's also why societies are highly antisocial, because we don't know how to really, truly detect danger. We think everything is dangerous all the time.
Cristina: Yes, man. But there are a lot of dangerous things out there. I don't know.
Jack: The point of society is that everything isn't dangerous. I guess it's the protective bubble.
Cristina: We lost that society thing. That protective bubble, it's too big to be protective. No, no.
Jack: What do you mean?
Cristina: Like the society is like really big.
Jack: Right. That means more safe.
Cristina: More safe. I feel like people are used to small bubbles that can protect them.
Jack: What's the average number of killers inside of a city? There's three million people.
Cristina: Three million people?
Jack: Yeah. Let's say New York City. Three million people?
Jack: Is there a thousand killers in that city?
Cristina: A thousand.
Jack: A thousand?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: Probably not.
Cristina: How much do you think?
Jack: Way the f*** less. I would be blown the f*** away if there was a hundred killers. Like normally killing out in the open where you could see it happen and. Oh, well, it's dangerous.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Killers that you can legitimately say danger and know it's danger.
Jack: There's not really a lot. Why? Because we got cops. Because we have structure. We have cameras. We have too many people walking around. The number of people on average that are good that would just rat somebody doing some crazy s*** out.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: The society is protective inherently. So there's way more people that are way more safe. Now let's say you have a village of just 30 people. One of them is a killer.
Cristina: What though, Right?
Jack: How easy is it for that guy to just pick people out?
Cristina: Probably pretty easy.
Jack: Pretty f****** easy. So yeah, you have a smaller group, but you're way the f*** less safe. Yeah, way less safe. Especially if the killer is from within your community. If the killer is within the community in New York, how hard is it for him to take a life on average, based on the number of people. Right. The percentage of life he's taking is insignificant and he's likely to get caught quickly.
Cristina: Has there ever been a serial killer in New York?
Jack: There's been a couple.
Cristina: A couple? Yeah, it's New York.
Jack: But in the case of a small village, every life you take is a huge f****** percentage of the whole thing.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And you also got way less chance of getting caught because every person you take is a significant decrease in people to hunt you down.
Cristina: Well, yeah.
Jack: So like a big society, definitely the way to go.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: It's inherently safe.
Cristina: Then what's wrong with people? Why are they so scared?
Jack: Because we haven't worked out the bullshit that's in our system from that time.
Cristina: When it was just 30 people.
Jack: Yeah. We still have instincts that were trying to get us to survive when there were f****** lions hidden in the bushes and s***. And anything we don't understand, we gotta be suspicious of anybody. We don't know.
Cristina: Everyone's become the lion.
Jack: Yeah, everybody's a lion.
Cristina: Well.
Jack: And so we still have that paranoia while traveling in the safest time ever.
Cristina: Mmm. But we can't all feel that way. I mean, maybe I feel that way, but there's gotta be a huge number of people that don't feel that way.
Jack: Yeah. I mean, you still have the thing, but the rational mind should compensate. So if you see a guy running towards you with an axe, although it's like, holy s***, this is weird and crazy.
Cristina: I should just be like, eh.
Jack: The consciousness thinking side of you should take over and be like. Like what are the odds really? It's probably just a huntsman or somebody who is out here doing something. I doubt. And there's more of us than there are of him where we just start running. If something crazy happened, we just all simultaneous attack. He can't beat all of us. But also we have no reason to attack. We'll just wait until he tries something stupid.
Cristina: Okay. And then if he just stops and then swings at us, that's when we do something.
Jack: Yeah. Then you know, but otherwise it's like, it's probably just a guy.
Cristina: Just a guy who.
Jack: Yeah. You don't have any reason to immediately panic.
Cristina: Yes. Okay.
Jack: I guess the rational mind should always.
Cristina: Compensate the rational mind. I don't have that. It's so scary to imagine a man running towards you with a smile, covered in blood and a bleak. Holding an axe.
Jack: It's just about being level headed really. Just learn to be level headed in moments of high tension.
Cristina: How do you practice that?
Jack: By exercising your rational mind. Yeah. It's not that difficult. You just got to think more than you feel.
Cristina: Yeah. Because not everything is dangerous.
Jack: Not everything is dangerous. No.
Cristina: It reminds me of mermaids and mermands. Mermen, Merman and mermaids.
Jack: How does it remind you of mermaids?
Cristina: Because mermaids are seen as. Mermaids are dangerous. But mermands bring you luck actually. Or good luck. But if you think of it as a dangerous thing, you might hurt it.
Jack: A merman.
Cristina: A merman.
Jack: Why are mermaids evil and mermen not?
Cristina: Because I don't know what makes the difference. I don't know. Mermen want to give you mermen. Mermen work like genies.
Jack: I mean, I guess they kind of look like a genie, but instead of being like half ghost, it's like half fish.
Cristina: Yeah. And he grants you wishes if you find him. But mermaids want to drown you. For some reason they love murdering people.
Jack: Because mermaids are basically sirens, right?
Cristina: Yeah. And sirens are like the same as mermaids. Yeah, they like to kill fishermen and stuff. They like to sing, and the song that they sing usually ends up killing fishermen. I don't know why. I don't know if they eat these people or what they do with them, or they enjoy watching the dead bodies, like, float down, like some type of decoration.
Jack: What? There's no, like. I mean, they have to be doing something. It can't just be like we murder for fun. What the f*** are they? Dolphins?
Cristina: Yes. Maybe they are dolphins. Yes.
Jack: They're kind of like dolphins. Fair enough.
Cristina: They're the dolphins of. They're human dolphins.
Jack: I don't know what the f*** is a. Is a mermaid just what you. Because a dolphin is a mammal.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Is a mermaid a f****** chimera?
Cristina: What is chimera?
Jack: Chimera is like a hybrid animal.
Cristina: It doesn't have to be made through science or anything. Right. Or does it? I don't know what a chimera.
Jack: I'm just saying. Basically, some dude jumped into the ocean and f***** a dolphin.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: Or a dolphin who's more prone to raping.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Raped some chick. And the chick gave birth to a mermaid.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And that happened twice. And one of them was a merman. And then the mermaid. And the mermaid created their own species by f****** each other.
Cristina: By f****** each other. Yes. There's also these creatures called fin folk, which I assume are just mermaids with different names. And they like to have sex with people and that somehow keeps their life long.
Jack: They don't reproduce. They just f*** people and then they live longer.
Cristina: Yes. Yes. They just. Sex with humans equals longer life.
Jack: Interesting. I've never heard of fin folk.
Cristina: Yeah, that's in Scotland and Ireland.
Jack: Seems like they have all the things.
Cristina: They have all the things. But they say that if you practice the Bible, it'll stop the Finn folk from stepping on dry land.
Jack: What does practicing the Bible mean?
Cristina: I don't know. Reading the Bible, knowing what God is telling you, being a good Christian person.
Jack: Right. So if you're a good Christian, they won't bother you.
Cristina: Yes. That's the answer to most of these solutions of dealing with anything. Yes.
Jack: It seems like everything in Ireland was designed by the Catholic Church.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: All of it. There's nothing that exists in Ireland. Isn't a real place. The Catholic Church made Ireland up.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: That's where we're at. They've made. So like every story that exists in this fictional place called Ireland came from f******. It's just another story.
Cristina: Ireland is a fictional location.
Jack: Ireland is like the Bible. It was just made up by the Catholic Church. Yes, that's where we are. That's. That's what I believe.
Cristina: Don't you know people from Ireland.
Jack: I've never been to Ireland. They probably convinced. I don't know if they. I don't know people in Ireland. I know people who think they've been to Ireland. And it's like people who've been to some of these other places. You could just be told the plane landed there, but there's no f****** such place. How do you know? You're not flying the plane and the guy flying the plane is a government shill.
Cristina: And what about the people of Ireland? Are they also.
Jack: There's nobody who's a person of Ireland. It's everybody being lied to that there's a place called Ireland.
Cristina: What?
Jack: But there's no such. There's no such place as Ireland. I refuse.
Cristina: Why?
Jack: Because the Catholic Church made it up.
Cristina: They didn't.
Jack: There's no such thing as Ireland.
Cristina: I don't know. There's an Irish saint, though, that traveled to look for the island of paradise, which. I'm not sure what the island of paradise is. I think that's where the Garden of Eve is hidden or something. Is it called Eve? The Garden of Eden? Of Eden, yes. That's probably where that's hidden. I don't know.
Jack: It's somewhere. It's either on an island or a section of Africa.
Cristina: Oh, okay. On his travel, he found the paradise of birds where there were birds singing and praising God.
Jack: Okay.
Cristina: Yeah. And they told him to travel for seven years and then come back, and then he'll be holy enough to find the island of paradise.
Jack: So I'm so confused by that.
Cristina: Sorry, What? That he wanted to look for the island of paradise.
Jack: Right.
Cristina: And he found a bird. Island of paradise for birds. And the birds were singing for God. And then I guess they told him, hey, in seven years, you'll be able to be holy enough to see the island.
Jack: So these were talking birds?
Cristina: Yeah, they were talking.
Jack: They found an island of birds that are kind of like Scooby Doo.
Cristina: Yes. No. Well, I don't know. They were singing and praising God. That's all they were doing.
Jack: Then how. Then who told him?
Cristina: A bird.
Jack: So it's a f****** talking bird?
Cristina: Yeah, I guess. Yes. They're talking birds.
Jack: This is an island of talking birds. Were they all parrots?
Cristina: Possibly.
Jack: But then these parrots who haven't been introduced to society just knew English.
Cristina: Yes. They know the word of the Bible. Someone preached. There was a bird preacher preaching Bible. I mean, church stuff to the birds and they were all doing their church. He just happens to be there on Sunday.
Jack: It was a Sunday? I don't know, it probably was.
Cristina: It was a Sunday and they were just having their Bible lessons and he came and they were like, nah, you gotta wait seven years.
Jack: Kind of like Link.
Cristina: He had only seven years.
Jack: Yeah. He was too young to pull out the master sword or to use the master sword. So when he pulled the master sword, he got encompassed in the chamber of Sages. And then the sages told him, you are going to. It's going to be a blink of an eye to you. But seven years would have passed on the outside for you to be old enough to wield this sword. And when you get out, you're gonna be the right age, as if you aged. But it's gonna be like a. You're gonna be out there in a second, but you're gonna be an adult.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And now you'll be able to wield a sword at that age.
Cristina: Wouldn't he be super weak and stuff like still have the strength of a child?
Jack: No, he's a grown man.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: His body grew to that of a grown man.
Cristina: Yeah, but he wasn't doing anything. But he wasn't doing anything for that seven years. He was just standing there.
Jack: The sword gave him the power necessary to have the body.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: It did everything as if he was in there bench pressing the whole time.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Is over here. He bench pressing.
Cristina: He wasn't starving to death at. When he.
Jack: No, he's wet. He's like ripped. He got out there cocky as anything.
Cristina: All right.
Jack: And he had all the muscles and all the strength to do everything he had to do.
Cristina: And.
Jack: And he just walked out with the master sword and killed everything he had to kill effortlessly. And so sort of the same thing happened.
Cristina: He had a child's brain at least though.
Jack: Yes. That's the f***** up part, right? That's the part that blows my mind because like the date ages brain too. In which case it's not even the same person.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: It's weird, right?
Cristina: I mean it would be an adult's brain, but no, the memories would all be still child memories. They didn't give him new memories of.
Jack: The experience was his own.
Cristina: Yeah, yeah.
Jack: He didn't implant anything. Which means by default, even in his mind he's still like 12.
Cristina: He's still 12 in a man's body.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the body cannot wield a sword. But he's still an immature a** child.
Cristina: Yeah, but he was never immature either.
Jack: He was never immature. Interesting. He was particularly mature for his age.
Cristina: Ah, I guess that helps.
Jack: Yes. So maybe he already had a mind. Way ahead and in becoming a man. Right. He's immature, but not by much. If he's like 10 to 12, but his maturity is like 16, then you add seven years and he's like 19, but he's like 17. Maturity wise, he's not like far off. Yeah, so he's like still kind of where he needs to be. Maturity wise, he was centered enough from the two points that at his young age he was mature for his age. And at his grown age he was just slightly immature for his age. Yeah, but it wasn't like that.
Cristina: But all he needed was to be the right age to hold the sword.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: Nothing else.
Jack: Nothing else. He needed to have a certain amount of strength and willpower. That was it.
Cristina: But he already had that.
Jack: Yeah, he had the willpower.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: Which is why he could pull the sword out in the first place.
Cristina: Yeah. And this guy needed to be holy enough for this island. I wonder what's on the island. It's probably. If it's like the bird island, then there's just saints who are singing and praising to God. So I don't know what's so interesting about finding the island.
Jack: There should be nobody on that island. Why the Garden of Eden?
Cristina: Well, if it's. Yeah, yeah. It was a story from another saint who found the island. First he found the island, he told him about it and then he went on the search.
Jack: But this other saint to found the island.
Cristina: What happened?
Jack: This other saint that found the island, what about him? That's what I'm asking. What about him?
Cristina: He found the island like.
Jack: But he must have stayed on the island if he left the island after he found it.
Cristina: Oh yeah.
Jack: It's still just an empty island.
Cristina: Empty island. Yeah, that's true.
Jack: It's just f******. Hey, there's an island.
Cristina: That's weird. I guess it's just an attraction. You find it and then you leave. Because he. After he found it, he left.
Jack: What do you want to do there alone?
Cristina: I don't know. There's something I don't get. What's the point? Seven years to see this island and then leave.
Jack: Well, in theory. In theory, the fruit of knowledge is there.
Cristina: So he eats the fruit and then you know, everything. And then you know. But the sad part is that once he gets home, he dies. That's how his story ends. But maybe that other guy who ate the fruit continues to live on.
Jack: And the other guy ate the fruit?
Cristina: I don't know. We're assuming that anyone who visits the islands eats the fruit.
Jack: So maybe the saint ate the fruit too. He got there, ate the fruit, left, and then f****** died.
Cristina: Yeah, maybe someone killed him. I think it was murder.
Jack: Could be. It could be that there are people just killing anybody who takes the fruit.
Cristina: That's crazy.
Jack: Hitmen from God.
Cristina: Hitmen from God? What? The Church is doing it.
Jack: The Church is doing it. Did the Church make up the island too?
Cristina: I don't know. But then why would they make up the story of the guy who found the island and then died in the end?
Jack: To find people who are seeking the truth and off them before they get to any other truth.
Cristina: Oh, it's a trap. It's a trap.
Jack: It's a trap by the church. It's like people who try to find Ireland kill them. You kill anybody who tries to find Ireland? It's not a real place. And you can't have anybody reporting that.
Cristina: Why? What about these magical creatures from Ireland?
Jack: Well, you need those stories to exist, so you can't have anybody tell anybody else. There's no island for that to even be true. So the Church needs to off anybody who finds out that these things are a lie. The same way there is no Garden of Eden. So when people go and they find the exact location and they do find this island and find out this is just a normal island.
Cristina: You think that's what he found?
Jack: Yeah, that's why they leave. It's not paradise. It's just a f****** island. And then they leave. And then the church is like, he knows.
Cristina: He knows. Whoa. Maybe he knows, man. But his journey besides that is pretty crazy. He saw a sea monster. There was a sea monster trying to attack the ship. And then God saved them by sending another sea monster to fight off that sea monster. Kills it.
Jack: Story of Godzilla is real.
Cristina: Yes. Godzilla. Okay. What would fight Godzilla? Or is Godzilla the one fighting?
Jack: Well, no, it's a giant. Yeah. Godzilla is like God's Zilla.
Cristina: Okay. Yes. The Kraken was attacking their ship and God's zilla. Godzilla came, fought it, killed it, then they ate the monster.
Jack: So everybody had, like, enough food forever. Yeah, it was like, a lot.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: In any case, Godzilla is a misinterpretation because it is g O D not dash hyphen S. Zilla. His name is Zilla.
Cristina: His name is Zilla.
Jack: He's not a Godzilla. He's Gods. Zilla?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: God sent Zilla.
Cristina: Yes. He sent Zilla to fight off the sea monster. And then they Ate the sea monster because why wouldn't you eat.
Jack: Did they share some of it with Zilla as an offering?
Cristina: Probably. They couldn't eat that whole thing.
Jack: There's no f****** way. Right. And Zilla needs to eat before he goes back to whatever the f*** he was doing.
Cristina: Yes. I wonder what he's doing.
Jack: Just sleeping. He hibernates.
Cristina: He hibernates.
Jack: He waits until God tells him to do stuff.
Cristina: I'm sure he's singing and praising God like the birds.
Jack: Yes. In some underground Atlantis like place.
Cristina: Yes. Where the mermaids are.
Jack: Where the mermaids are. Well, the mermen.
Cristina: The mermen.
Jack: Only mermen. They're all gay for each other. And they hang out with Zilla while the mermaids are committing evil atrocities. Because women. That's what they do.
Cristina: That's what they do.
Jack: Women are just evil inherently.
Cristina: Because of Eve. Yes, because of Eve.
Jack: We're getting to. We're getting to this episode. We're getting to the bottom of things. All the pieces are coming together. Eve invented evil. Adam didn't touch the apple.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And then we know that a guy dolphin f*****, raped, raped some chick in the water and she gave birth to a half fish, half woman. And then this happened in two different instances. And then the other one was half man, half fish.
Cristina: In which they could have babies.
Jack: Yes. And then they found each other and, you know, typical relationship things. They f***, they had babies, but they were incompatible. He was like, man, she's kind of cruel and mean and like. We breaking up.
Cristina: Yes. So the other guys stay together. All the girls stay together.
Jack: Yeah. They did the south park thing where it's like these women are just murdering other humans. We love humans. We use our powers for good. They use the powers to lure them in and kill them.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And so they just broke up. Atlantis is just a bunch of gay mermen. And Zilla.
Cristina: And Zilla.
Jack: And they take their word directly from God because God has no beef against the men. God's only beef is women, which the Bible tells us. Yes, The Bible explicitly says, f*** women. You rape women, you kill women. You trade women like property. But men, you all good. All you. You didn't eat the apple. You guys could. You didn't f*** anything else.
Cristina: You're all holy.
Jack: You're all holy. You haven't sinned yet.
Cristina: Nope.
Jack: And we know this. That's why all the priests get the pass.
Cristina: That's why all. Yes.
Jack: That's why all the priests get the pass. You guys didn't f*** up at the beginning, so now you get to pass the f*** up as much as you want. It's been millions of years. You guys can do whatever you want.
Cristina: Only those nuns that help them out get punished.
Jack: Yes, only the nuns. Any nun does anything, you're going straight to h***. All the priests can do whatever they want. And no matter what God's like, you did good for so long.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: You could do whatever you want while.
Cristina: The nuns go crazy and cry like cats.
Jack: Yes. And bite people.
Cristina: And bite people.
Jack: And each other.
Cristina: And each other.
Jack: The nuns are going crazy, nuns are going crazy, priests. Now you get to do whatever you want. God approves.
Cristina: That's so crazy. Another crazy story is that they saw a griffin and a bird fight each other and the griffin died.
Jack: What was the size of this bird?
Cristina: I don't.
Jack: What the f***.
Cristina: It was a parrot from that island.
Jack: Right. Just all the powers of God given to it.
Cristina: Exactly.
Jack: That parrot showed up. I mean, is a griffin a demon at this point?
Cristina: I guess.
Jack: And it's like that bird showed up and because it could say, the power of Christ compels you. That griffin just went down, all its magic gone, boom, Flat into the ground.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: That parrot. Power of Christ compels.
Cristina: Yeah, that's exactly how it sounded like.
Jack: Yup.
Cristina: Oh, my gosh. What an epic battle.
Jack: It was so short, too.
Cristina: It was so short.
Jack: It was the shortest, most epic battle. That griffin was doing crazy flight maneuvers and the parrot was fighting all sloppy the way they do.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And the griffin was about to attack.
Cristina: And then all the parrot did was.
Jack: Say, the power of Christ compels you. What the is a griffin? It's like the head of an eagle. The body of, like, a lion and the wings of, like, a bird.
Cristina: I mean, I. I would think. Wait, the head of a what?
Jack: Wait, is it the head of an eagle? There's some creature that's like the head. No, it's the head of a lion. Right. The body of a horse and the.
Cristina: Wings of an eagle and the tail of a snake. I don't know.
Jack: Snake.
Cristina: What? It's mostly an eagle with the body, I guess, the. It's like half eagle, half lion.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Is that the best way to say.
Jack: That we're looking at the head of an eagle with like the. The mane of a lion or around its neck area. The body of a lion and the tail of lion. But the wings of the eagle, it's. It's a chimera between an eagle and a lion.
Cristina: Yeah. That's pretty epic looking.
Jack: It's like a. If you had an eagle Pokemon and it evolved, it Would evolve into a f****** griffin.
Cristina: That would be awesome. And it lost to a parrot. That's crazy, man.
Jack: A griffin looks hardcore. What do you think would win a fight between a griffin and a pegasus?
Cristina: A pegasus.
Jack: Pegasus has magic on his side, bro.
Cristina: And griffins don't.
Jack: I don't know. I think a griffin is just a creature.
Cristina: Oh, and what was the other creature you said?
Jack: Pegasus.
Cristina: Pegasus. Are you sure Pegasus have magic?
Jack: No, I think that's also a creature. I think the only one who has a creature is a unicorn. I think a unicorn will off both of these easily.
Cristina: Because it has magic.
Jack: Because it's magic. Like a unicorn still flies, but also it has no f****** wings. It's just like raw magic.
Cristina: It has to be magic.
Jack: It has to be magic. It's just raw magic. Meanwhile, a griffin and a pegasus are just creatures.
Cristina: Yes. I don't know. Maybe unicorns have invisible wings.
Jack: That'd be interesting. That would be magic.
Cristina: That would be magic.
Jack: Okay, this doesn't matter. It's all just magic.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: No matter how you look at a unicorn, it's magic.
Cristina: It's gotta be magic. Okay, so the unicorn wins, though.
Jack: Yeah, the unicorn wins by default. So the real argument would be a pegasus and a griffin. I would argue the griffin wins. Right. Because the pegasus is still just a f****** horse with wings. While this is like the predator of the sky and the predator of the ground just fuse into the most hardcore s*** that has ever existed.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: So it's like, pretty much anything that fights a griffin is f*****.
Cristina: How about a dragon?
Jack: What's. How far off is a griffin from a dragon?
Cristina: I don't think griffin has firepower.
Jack: Fair. Fair. So we would say in the animal, in the, like, mythological creature. Tier.
Cristina: Tier, yeah.
Jack: It goes from dragon to griffin, then Pegasus.
Cristina: Where does Godzilla fit?
Jack: Well, Godzilla, like, is a dragon. Godzilla's a dragon. He's just an oversized dragon.
Cristina: Yeah. With no wings.
Jack: With no wings. So arguably worse than a dragon. Depending on the size of the dragon. If we're looking at, like, medieval dragon, like the western version of a dragon. Right. If we're looking at the western version of a dragon.
Cristina: How big are they?
Jack: We're talking the size of, like, a small building.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Not huge the way, like, God, like, Godzilla could stomp on one of those m************ easily.
Cristina: Like a house, maybe.
Jack: Like. Like a traditional current size house.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Like four of those put next to each other.
Cristina: Is a dragon.
Jack: Is a dragon. Including wingspan. Like, its body alone. Like, its body alone is probably the size of a house with its wingspan Being the size of maybe like four houses put in a row.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: While Godzilla could stomp that s*** out. Easy.
Cristina: Okay, so Godzilla's on top of the list.
Jack: Yeah, Godzilla's on top of the list. Unless we're talking like some monstrous f****** ridiculous Godzilla sized dragon. That's crazy. And I don't know why that there's no f****** movie about that.
Cristina: A Godzilla sized dragon. Dude, isn't that Chinese dragon huge? The really long dragon?
Jack: You mean like the one from Dragon Ball Z?
Cristina: Yeah, he's really long and really big.
Jack: Well, Shenron is so f****** big you could see him from space. Yeah, like you could be off of earth and just see Shenron if he summoned. That's how big Shenron is. He doesn't count.
Cristina: He doesn't count.
Jack: Unless we're like going into these detailed dragons, in which case what's bigger? Shenron or the world serpent?
Cristina: I would think they're both the same size.
Jack: Interesting, interesting, interesting.
Cristina: Because they both wrap around the world, right?
Jack: Not Shenron. Shenron comes right out of the the dragon balls and floats over them to grant you the wish before he goes back to sleep.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So I don't know. Okay, so this says that Shenron is not so astronomically large as to wrap around the planet. He's smaller than like a city.
Cristina: That's a. That's the size of the castle they compare him to.
Jack: Yes. Not. Well, even the castle is not the size of a city.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: But he's roughly like castle's huge and Shenron is roughly the size of this huge castle.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: While the world serpent can wrap around the f****** planet.
Cristina: Yes, that's why that's humongous. Right?
Jack: Yes. So size wise, we begin at the world snake. For sure there isn't s*** bigger. He's limit. Just the limit of it. He's as big as any mythological creature gets the world serpent.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Then we go to Shenron and then we get to Godzilla.
Cristina: Okay, but when it comes to fight, can Shenron or the world serpent. Actually the world serpent can fight because he fights. What's his name? He fights Thor in the end, right? Yeah. So he can put up a fight.
Jack: Yes, but against Godzilla, the world serpent would one shot him? Yes, yes, because Thor would one shot Godzilla.
Cristina: Yeah. Shenron, can he fight?
Jack: Shenron is pure magic and he can do whatever the f*** he wants. Okay, so size is not a problem here.
Cristina: He's got magic.
Jack: He's got magic. Shenron could one shot both Thor and the world serpent. Cuz magic. So power wise, Shenron is The limit. Shenron could bring the entire Earth back just because you asked him to.
Cristina: Yeah. And isn't there a bigger snake that I'm. I guess, magical Shenron version of Shenron, you know?
Jack: Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. The one you're talking about is Super Shenron from Dragon Ball. Super who is. Who s****. He s**** on. He s**** on the size of the f****** World Serpent by such a ridiculous margin. The World Serpent would be missed. Like, Super Shenron wouldn't see him from how small it is by comparison.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Super Shenron is 57 billion light years.
Cristina: I don't even understand how we could imagine the size of that.
Jack: We'd see him from most places in the universe.
Cristina: We would just. We would all see him.
Jack: We would all see him. Like, if he's summoned, it doesn't matter where in the universe we are. He's bigger than everything else in the sky.
Cristina: He's so big, though, that. Would we be inside him? Would everything be inside him? Because he's humongous. Like, where is he? Would he be away from us? Or we all just automatically be in him because he's so freaking big.
Jack: That's weird, right? He would. But no, he would coil in such a way that he. Because he's. He would dodge everything. I guess he would just be so.
Cristina: He is magical.
Jack: He's magical. Yeah. But that's another thing. Holy crap. That's another thing. Not only is he so absorbently big that he's 57 billion light years in size, but it's pure magic.
Cristina: But he's pure magic.
Jack: More pure magic than Shenron. So even if Shenron is smaller than the World Serpent and more overpowered, Super Shenron would smack the crap out. Like, Super Shenron can't see. He doesn't know Shenron exists.
Cristina: No.
Jack: That's like some afterthought at best.
Cristina: You think he can see the World Serpent? Or is that too small?
Jack: Too small? Too small. We're talking that this guy is the size of many. It's. What is it, four light years? Four light years. Just four. From here to our nearest star, Alpha Centauri.
Cristina: He's that big. Yeah. He's from here to.
Jack: Wait, is Alpha Centauri the closest star? It is. Right. Is that a galaxy?
Cristina: That is not.
Jack: I think Alpha Centauri is a star. Right. Because Andromeda is the galaxy. Got it. So Alpha Centauri is the closest star, and it's four billion light years. I mean, four light years, not billion. It's just four Light years away. Think about how far away in size this guy is.
Cristina: I don't.
Jack: Even if we. Even if Shenron, Super Shenron was just the distance of Earth to Alpha Centauri, that would be so magnificently large in our sky that it would compensate for everything else. No, Super Shenron is 57 billion light years in size.
Cristina: But what does that even mean, light years in size?
Jack: Yeah. Yeah.
Cristina: What?
Jack: How many light years is our observable universe in size?
Cristina: What if he's bigger than that?
Jack: That's crazy. So the observable universe according to God, which is Google, is 93 billion light years.
Cristina: He's more than half.
Jack: He's more than half of the size of the observable universe. We would see Super Shenron from anywhere in the universe encompassing the majority of the universe.
Cristina: Yeah, that's ridiculous.
Jack: He would be so big in our sky. We couldn't tell that we're looking at him.
Cristina: No, he would just. What would he look like?
Jack: The sky would just turn yellow because he's golden. So the sky would just look gold and we wouldn't know that we're looking at him.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: That's how big he is. It would just look like the sky just turned gold. The end. Well, meanwhile, we're looking at Shenron. Super Shenron.
Cristina: That's ridiculous.
Jack: So tier size, he wins him by like, there's nothing bigger.
Cristina: There's nothing big.
Jack: Like, it's questionable. Yeah, it's questionable that God is bigger. Like actual God might be smaller than Mega Shenron. Super Shenron.
Cristina: Well, if God's the size of like the God from Dragon Ball Z, he's very tiny.
Jack: Oh, yeah, it could totally be the case. Like Zeno is way smaller.
Cristina: Or little boy, I guess, is his size.
Jack: Yeah. So it would go the, the, the tier here is Super Shenron, then miles away. Miles away. The world serpent the size of just measly planet.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And then we get to Shenron, size of just like a big a** building, actually. Well, it's a huge. It's ridiculously huge building. That's the problem. It's bigger than Godzilla.
Cristina: It's bigger than Godzilla.
Jack: It's bigger than Godzilla. Shenron is bigger than Godzilla. Then Godzilla and whatever monsters Godzilla fights. My question is, is the Norse mythology giants the size of Godzilla or are they smaller than Godzilla And I actually think they're smaller than Godzilla.
Cristina: Are you sure? Please remember that footprint of the horse? That horse has to be huge.
Jack: The horse had to be huge.
Cristina: That's one footprint of an eight legged horse.
Jack: Yeah, but like a Godzilla footprint People could just go inside of it.
Cristina: So can they go inside of his footprint? The magical horse's footprint?
Jack: Are we thinking that the horse is bigger than Godzilla, though?
Cristina: Yes. No. Maybe the same size? No, but longer.
Jack: They're in the ballpark. They're in the ballpark.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: They're in the ballpark of size. I think Shenron would beat them in size.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So it'd be Shenron, Godzilla, and all these other mythological things from Norse mythology. And then we have all the smaller things.
Cristina: Yes, fair. That's crazy. But then how did the people sailing sea Godzilla fight this creature? Like, that's got to be crazy to see. I mean, how do you not die if you can see it? Unless it's happening from far away. It could be.
Jack: It could be that you're getting attacked by the Kraken, which is also huge as f***. Yeah, but the Kraken, like, compared to size, like, Godzilla could just b**** smack that s***.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: So Godzilla just comes, rips it out, like, snaps. It's f******. I guess it has no bones to snap, but it could just, like, crush it to death. And then you guys just eat this giant kraken.
Cristina: Yeah, but the way they. Their bodies are moving in the water, I feel like it just destroy the boat.
Jack: The way just Godzilla coming out of the water would create tidal waves exactly like these.
Cristina: This event has to have happened super far away.
Jack: So Godzilla popped up the crack inside, and it's like, fight time.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: But they still got, like, a crazy wave coming. So Godzilla instantaneously won, and they angled their ship in such a way that it just, like, cruised with a wave.
Cristina: Yes, because how else would they survive that?
Jack: I don't know.
Cristina: It's ridiculous. The size of Godzilla and then I guess all the other creatures, like the. The Griff. Way smaller. Those are like babies compared.
Jack: They're so small. A griffin, wingspan included. Maybe a little bit bigger than a room.
Cristina: That's so pretty. I guess compared to us, it's big.
Jack: But compared to humans, it's big. But, like, Godzilla, stomp that s*** out. Yeah, so, like, in the. In the fight between a Griffin and a Pegasus, whatever. Who cares? The griffin is gonna win. But Griffin versus Godzilla, One shot.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Godzilla needs to fight, like, Norse creatures or the Titans.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: You know, from, like, Greek mythology.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: But then all of them will get one shot by Shenron. Actually, even the world serpent, which is way the f*** bigger than Shenron, will get one shot by Shenron. But it's magic. Which then brings up an interesting point. What could a unicorn, one Shot the World Serpent. Because. Also magic. I feel like it's also a tier of magic. Right.
Cristina: There could be a tier of magic.
Jack: Like, the unicorn doesn't have, like, unfathomable magic abilities. It's like, you know, has magic, but it's not, like, impossibly magical.
Cristina: Yeah, it can't be. If we learned anything from our other episode about. I don't really remember what it was about, but that the Force and using the Force to do magic, if you abuse it, you'll die.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: So the unicorns, they wouldn't abuse the magic.
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: If they're using the same force.
Jack: So we're saying the Force is equal to magic. Yes, because in the case of all these other people, they have abilities that they're channeling.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: But it wasn't like magic. It was like they're really channeling just this energy. Yeah, but Shenron is doing some whole other s***. He can make anything happen.
Cristina: Yeah, but he's getting it from the same place everyone else is getting it from.
Jack: Or is he one of the sources of it?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Like, is he the embodiment of the Force?
Cristina: He could be.
Jack: And Super Shenron is, like, the biggest focus of that energy.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: So they aren't abusing it or using it.
Cristina: No, they aren't.
Jack: They are it.
Cristina: Yeah, but a unicorn is using it.
Jack: A unicorn is using it, but in.
Cristina: This kind of the same way that Transformers are using it. Like, it's born in them. Yeah, they're not training for it.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, they're not. They're not. But then again, it could just be channeling it.
Cristina: Or channel.
Jack: But I don't know. It feels like a unicorn isn't thinking about using magic. It's just, like, natural. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no Transformers. Like, oh, I got a train and trans. No, you just can do it.
Cristina: Yeah. It's supernatural. Unless there is. We don't know what a baby Transformer looks like. What if they're training?
Jack: Well, there's a whole. There's no baby Transformer. There is a planet that is a machine that pumps out Transformers.
Cristina: What?
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: The planet itself is pumping out.
Jack: The planet itself is a robot. What? Okay, so referring to back to our noble God Google, the Transformers are a species of sentient, living robotic beings originating from the distant machine world, Cybertron. The stories of their lives, their histories, and most especially their wars have been chronicled across many different continuities in the vast multiverse. So Cybertron is where they come from. How are they made? It just, like, spits them out.
Cristina: It Says that a computer made them. Their bodies were forged by a plasma energy chamber and given intelligence by the mega computer Vectas Sigma. So their planet has a computer in it. I mean, their planet is a machine already.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: With a computer in it that's pumping out robots.
Jack: Wow, there's just so many doors just opened. So in the area of size of creatures, Cybertron is bigger than Godzilla as well, and actually bigger than Shenron. And technically. Technically, also bigger than the World Serpent.
Cristina: Cybertron.
Jack: Yes, because the World Serpent wraps around the world.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: But isn't as thick. So the Cybertron is, in theory, more mass overall.
Cristina: Yeah, I would imagine that it would be bigger than Earth anyway because it holds all these robots. Like, it's got to be a huge.
Jack: Like, the robots are big themselves.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Interesting. Interesting.
Cristina: I don't even know where to start.
Jack: Okay, okay, for everybody, we just took an intermission to learn everything there was to learn about Transformers. So let's go back real quickly. The Transformers were made by a planet that was a machine. The planet was made by this bigger robot thing in order to pump out robots to fight some other planet that was also pumping out robots, apparently. And so this thing was made by yet another bigger, greater robot. And then that robot that kind of seems to be God was made by something called the one who's just God.
Cristina: Yes. God made two robots. Well, he made one robot, and then he made another robot from that robot.
Jack: Which was his twin.
Cristina: Which was his twin. So one was a good twin, was the evil twins. He began with the Eve.
Jack: Yes, he began with the evil twin, and then he made the good twin. So the argument is God made man, like regular biological life.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And also mechanical life.
Cristina: He only knows how to do it the same way. That's so crazy. Yeah, it's the same exact way he did human mankind.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: That's so lazy.
Jack: I recommend. Oh, crap. We're probably gonna do a whole episode about this history.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Like, we have to. We just ended up talking about it, and we're totally, like, out of time.
Cristina: Oh, my gosh.
Jack: So. So we're probably gonna do an episode on Transformers, breaking down the entire history and how, like, we're gonna. We're gonna explain how God and robots relate. That's gonna happen.
Cristina: It's gonna happen.
Jack: Okay, now, the interesting part about this entire episode is that the guy with the axe could one off everybody. He's the only one who could one shot Super Shenron with his lucky ax.
Cristina: I don't think so. I don't think so.
Jack: You don't think so.
Cristina: He's an average guy. He's a guy can't even carry a deer.
Jack: He's. He totally can't.
Cristina: So I don't know how he's strong enough to do that.
Jack: I guess the argument is, is he better than. Could he want. Could he off the Pegasus or the Griffin? He could probably off the Pegasus, right?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Could he off the Griffin. The Griffin's fast. It's dangerous. It's aligned.
Cristina: It got killed by a parrot, so I guess he can.
Jack: D***. D***. Yeah, fair enough. You right. You right. You got that. Anyways, if you guys enjoyed this episode.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: You can find, I guess, other episodes about completely random, unrelated, strung together things.
Cristina: Like the Transformers, which just happened. Yeah.
Jack: So you guys can totally do that. Go find those episodes.
Cristina: And on this episode, listen to the last episode. It was a great episode.
Jack: Yeah. And you can find all that stuff on the official website greatthoughts.info or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast.
Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.
Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe rate. And if you feel so inclined, review.
Cristina: The show and let someone who might like this show know about it.
Jack: Yes. This is exactly how it began. A guy sharing with the kindness of his heart, the show and then it turned out to be a show in which we find out a bunch of things, including the fact that women are evil.
Cristina: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah.
Jack: Mermaids happened because of dolphin raped people.
Cristina: Of course.
Jack: As usual. As expected, you know, as dolphins do.
Cristina: Yeah. So they can live longer.
Jack: They can live longer. It happens. And Griffins vs. Pegasus, equal fight or relatively closer than Parrot vs. Griffin, in which a parrot easily wins thanks to.
Cristina: The power of God.
Jack: Thanks to power of God. Also Godzilla. We've had that wrong this whole time. His name is Zilla. He's gods.
Cristina: He's Godzilla. Yeah.
Jack: Godzilla beat the Kraken that was attacking the sailors who were in the first place on the sea, probably trying to survive. Mermaids.
Cristina: And they're also fictional because they come from Ireland, which is also fictional.
Jack: Yeah, Ireland never happened. And neither did the Garden of Eden. And that's all invented by the church who's killing anybody who finds out. Yes, but we work for the Illuminati, so we're protector.
Cristina: Yeah, that's why we're sharing you with. That's why we're sharing this with you. Yeah.
Jack: So that you know you're all going to be killed.
Cristina: Yeah. By the church or by the cancer.
Jack: That you got by listening to the show.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: This. That nice little summary.
Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.
Jack: Bye.
Cristina: But is there things like that in other.
Jack: Yes. Politics.
Cristina: They have dress. They dress up.
Jack: Not the dressing thing, but the weird traditions. Like when they did that book thing that they walked the book across the thing in a specific way, and then the news was covering how it got walked down the. Let's just take it. It's a f******. Just walk it down the g****** hallway. What are you talking about, a book?
Cristina: Yeah, the Bible.
Jack: No, it was like a set of rules or something for the President to sign or some s***. And then everybody stood in line in a certain way and they walked this sheet of paper to him. Yeah. In a. In like a order of some sort, like. Like soldiers or some s***. They did it in a weird, specific kind of way.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Very traditional, very ritualistic. And walked it over to the chamber it had to be in with everybody standing where they had to be standing or whatever.
Cristina: Yes. Any tradition looks very strange if you don't know the reason for it.
Jack: Even if you know the reason for it. Why is it still in play?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: Because what purpose does that serve now?
Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black.