Rambling 295: Real Life Pokemon
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In the latest episode of our podcast, we embark on a whimsical journey to explore the question: what if Pokemon were real? This episode is a delightful blend of humor and thought-provoking ideas, as hosts Jack and Cristina dissect the implications of living alongside these fantastical creatures. The discussion kicks off with a seemingly innocuous topic—potty training. Jack recalls a conversation about how challenging it would be to potty train a wild Pokemon. Cristina agrees, pointing out that training any animal is hard enough, let alone a creature with powers and instincts of its own. This leads to a deeper exploration of the challenges of owning Pokemon as pets. Would you really want to catch a wild Pokemon? Or would it be better to raise a baby Pokemon to ensure it becomes a well-behaved companion? As the episode progresses, the hosts delve into the ethical considerations of Pokemon ownership. They ponder whether it is right to own humanoid Pokemon, drawing parallels to issues of race and speciesism in our world. "Are we just being racist and slave-owning these humanoid Pokemon?" Jack provocatively asks. The conversation raises important questions about consent, rights, and the nature of ownership in a world where intelligent creatures exist alongside humans. The episode also touches on the practical aspects of living with Pokemon. How would our homes adapt to accommodate larger Pokemon? What jobs would Pokemon have in society? From firefighting to healthcare, the hosts imagine a world where Pokemon play vital roles in our lives, contributing to society in ways we never thought possible. In a humorous twist, they also consider the absurdity of Pokemon battles and the implications of "chicken fighting" in a world where Pokemon are treated as pets and companions. Would we pay our Pokemon to fight, and how would that change the dynamics of their relationships with us? This episode is a rollercoaster of laughter and insight, leaving listeners to ponder the complexities of a world where Pokemon are real. It's a must-listen for anyone who has ever imagined what it would be like to catch 'em all in real life. Tune in now and join the conversation about the wild and wonderful world of Pokemon!
+Episode Details
Topics Discussed:
- Potty Training
- Humanoid Pokémon Ethics
- Pokémon as Pets vs. Workers
- The Reality of Pokémon Battles
- Chicken fighting
- Eating Pokemon
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+Transcript
Rambling 295: Real Life Pokemon Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised. Jack: Going live in 5, 4. Cristina: What does live mean? Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I'm your host, Jack. Cristina: And I'm your host, Cristina. Jack: And this is a show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. And today I figured we would do this to the max. Cristina: What does that mean? Jack: We were having a conversation. I don't remember when, where, or about what, but at one point, one of us said, like, if Pokemon was real. And that stayed with me. I don't remember what the conversation was, and I'm sure there was an example in context, but I don't remember what we were talking about. So I don't know the example or the context. I just remembered, what if Pokemon was real? Cristina: That was on the podcast or that was. No. You have no idea. Jack: I have no idea. I have no idea when this happened, but in doing so, I really sat down and thought, no, it was about potty training. Cristina: I kind of remember this. I think. Yes, it was. Random conversation. Okay. Jack: Yeah, I think it was about potty training. Cristina: Yes, yes. Jack: I think it was on the show. I think we were talking about that meme that shows how weird it is to go to sleep. Like, a kid will go to sleep with their Pikachu, and it's cute and cuddly, but a kid goes to sleep with their Mochomp, and it looks like gay p*** or something. Cristina: I don't remember that. But that is creepy. Jack: Yes, it's weird. Cristina: It is weird. Jack: And I think maybe we're talking about a fox or something. Like, how annoying it would be to have a certain Pokemon as a pet. Cristina: I don't remember. I just do remember the potty. I just don't know how we led. What led to the potty training. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: But I remember bringing that up being like, that's the worst part. Like, I wouldn't want to have Pokemon because of that. Jack: Yeah, you couldn't get old Pokemon. You got to catch babies. Oh, you see, this is exactly. But before we continue, what I thought we would do today is basically what we're about to do right now, which is just makes, like, put Pokemon in the world. What would that look like? We're gonna make it real today. Our one and only goal is fitting Pokemon into reality. Their abilities work as they're described, and they are shaped the way they are described. But, okay, our world works the way it does. Now, how would these two things fit together? First, potty training was how this began. And that makes a lot of wild Pokemon. A problem. You can't catch an older, higher level wild Pokemon. Potty training. Cristina: That sucks. You couldn't potty train. If it's anything like an animal, you don't. It doesn't. After a certain age, it's just gonna keep doing what it's doing no matter how much time as you try to train it. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Teacher what's right or whatever. Jack: Yeah, no, it's gonna. Yeah, exactly. It's just gonna do what it's used. Cristina: To because it's a wild animal. Jack: And in theory, you could train them to be able to. But it would be so much work. Cristina: Would be. I don't know. It's weird to train. I don't know. It's. It sucks training a regular animal to do potty training. Jack: And now you got this thing that, like, can you up. Cristina: Yeah. And you're going to tell them how to. How you use the bathroom. Jack: How do you discipline a Pokemon? You just got to approach with confidence, I guess. Cristina: I guess. Jack: Like, only certain people can be Pokemon trainers in the real world. Only some people. It's not going to be a million kids. Cristina: It's not going to be all the Pokemon. There's so many options of Pokemon that you just can't have. You just couldn't. Because you die being around them. Like, anything that has fire coming out of it, like, you couldn't survive with it in your house and then all that smoke. Jack: Yes, 100%. Anything that actually has fire coming off of it. But it doesn't mean that those Pokemon are useless. For example, think of people who deal with clearing areas so that forest fires don't affect major living locations. Those Pokemon themselves are very useful because they can just wander those paths over and over while other people contain the fire. Cristina: We'd have Pokemon that have jobs, but to have them as actual pets or whatever. Jack: Those could be pets, but I guess it could never come inside. And it would need to be in a specific kind of environment where they can be in your backyard without burning everything 00:05:00 Jack: down. Cristina: Yeah, but if you're in the city, you couldn't. You couldn't do that. Jack: Definitely. You're locked out of having a lot of things, But a lot of them are also unrealistic to just have in a city. Unless you're taking them to a gym. Like, they need to be in their Pokeball. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Like, what the f*** is a Charizard? That's huge. Cristina: It's huge. A lot of things are too huge and dangerous. I don't know. I don't know how it could Work. Except that, like, have the baby and never evolve it. Jack: Well, the d. Well, no, everybody. Here's the thing. It's like an animal. If it's raised around people is my theory. It's not gonna hurt people. Cristina: Okay. Jack: I think that's definitely how it works. And a lot of them, if we look at. If we use some source material and think of, like, the way the shows show things, things tend to be what they look like. They behave in kind of ways as to what they're supposed to be. Cristina: Yes. Jack: So, like, the Tauros are at a farm. And that makes sense. They're basically a pet, but they're also livestock. And, like. Cristina: Yeah, so we'd see, like, the cow. Jack: Yeah. Milk tank would be there too, and it would make sense. And their purpose and abilities could be contained. And that person is an expert at controlling them. I. I could not tell you in a million years how to control a bull. I don't know. I couldn't tell you. But I know a bunch of farmers that do. Cristina: Yeah, they could, I guess. Yeah. But, like, what could you deal with? What could. Which ones can you deal with? Jack: Like, things that you could really. Let's say also like Machamp. Cristina: Is that his name? The guy with the many hands? Jack: Yeah, the four hands. Cristina: When does he get underwear? As a baby. He doesn't have underwear. Like, are you giving him underwear? Why don't you give him pants? Jack: He's a wrestler. Cristina: It's a wrestler 24 7. He has to be a wrestler. He's a man. Jack: There's a bunch of Pokemon with clothing. Cristina: Yes. You should clothe them. You should give them normal clothes for Pokemon type clothes. Like for dogs. You have dog type clothes. They should be the same with Pokemon. Jack: No, let's really talk about Machamp here or Machoke or whatever the crap this guy's name is. All three of them. Cristina: Yes. Jack: That's basically like a different race of human. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Like, it might say its name exclusively, but, like, come on, we do not own them. It thinks to the. Apparently most Pokemon think to the degree that a human does. Even if they can't speak our language, they think to the degree a human does. Cristina: Maybe like dolphins. Jack: Yeah. Yes, exactly. And then we have this. This one that already thinks like a human looks like, then looks like one. And it's like, at what point are we just being racist and slave owning slaves? Cristina: Yeah. I don't think we could own them. And also, they should just have their own society, like their own town. I don't know. Jack: Yeah, no, Machoke would definitely be just A species of people. Cristina: And we should give them clothes? Yeah, they. Jack: No, they could do whatever. We don't do what they do whatever the they want to do. Cristina: You think they're just choosing to wear. Jack: If they're. If they're gonna live in our society, then yes. But if they're gonna live in their own society, they could do whatever the they want. Cristina: Okay, so if they want to be naked, that's fine. Jack: Hey, if they're fine with it, I'm fine with it. Cristina: Okay. Jack: They got to do whatever because you. Cristina: Think they decided that. Jack: I don't know. I don't know. Cristina: When they level off the side. Jack: Yeah, I assuming. No. No. Because they all have the same underwear. It's just part of his body. Cristina: That's insane. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: How does that work? Evolution is weird because where is it coming from? Jack: It's not underwear. It's just skin. Cristina: Ew. Jack: That's in the shape of underwear. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: But he. It's just weird. Cristina: It's a human. Jack: Yeah, he's a human. Cristina: Yeah. And, like, there's other ones that are like that too, though, that, like, what do we do with them? Jack: A lot of the fighting Pokemon really are like. If you think of maybe not. I mean, he's still so humanoid. Hyp Lead is like, just really long legs, a big torso with no head, but, like, his head is his torso, kind of. And then arm sticking out of that. But also, he still thinks like a human. And again, he's kind of mostly humanoid. I think that would also just be a person. Cristina: I think so. And his baby form is his. His baby also. Jack: That looks like a human. Cristina: Like a little boy. Jack: Yeah. So all Hypno Hitmo. What is it? Hypmo Top. Hitmo Lead. Hitmo chan with a. The one before him. Those are people. They get to just be human, I think. 00:10:00 Jack: Yeah. We. That's illegal. That's slavery. Cristina: Which ones are okay to own? That seems wrong too. Jack: Animals. If you look like an animal, we're just gonna look. We do it to dolphins right now. We're like, f*** the dolphins. Cristina: Okay. Jack: So we're gonna use that same application. And it's. It doesn't matter if you're even smarter than us, okay. If you do not look like we do. Cristina: Okay. What about that? Talking meows. Does he get away because. Jack: Because he's talking. Cristina: But not. No other mouse. Jack: Yeah. And any Pokemon who can communicate psychically and it sounds like a human voice. Cristina: That's probably every psychic type. Jack: Hey, that's fair. If it is, it is. If it's not, it's not okay. That's totally fine. And that means that we can't have psychic Pokemon. Also. Those are dead people. That's mess up. Cristina: That's ghost. Although I guess we can't have. Jack: Yeah, no, you're totally right. So we can't have psychic Pokemon because those are just. They. They can't. They can break the illusion. No, they can break the illusion too hard. Yeah, they're just people and they're going to be letting us know they're just people and they can control our mind. Cristina: Yeah, that's dangerous. Jack: Those. Those are for weapons and other things. They have to live amongst us. Cristina: What about dark Pokemon? That's dangerous too. Jack: They're literally just evil. That is their defining characteristic. Cristina: So we can't have evil dudes. We can't have ghosts. We can't have. Jack: Because we couldn't trust the dark Pokemon. Psychic Pokemon 1. They need jobs with us. There are many things we could use them for. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And psychic are also like psychic. We don't want to have an issue with them. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Yes. Psychic fighters that look human. Because there's fighters that look like weird. Cristina: Like what? Jack: Like a fighting tree. That's not human enough. Cristina: Wait, the tree is a fighter? Jack: Yeah. Is it a fighter? Cristina: The Sudo. Sudo. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: I'm gonna look it up real quick. We should have a picture of all the Pokemon because I don't know every Pokemon's name. Jack: Okay, so he's not fighting. He's Rock. Cristina: It's Rock. That is weird. Jack: That is an incredibly weird fact. Cristina: Fighting makes more sense. I mean, grass makes the most sense, but fighting would be the second option, I guess. But no, he's a rock. Jack: Well, let's see. Right now, which man Pokemon would be an issue in real life? The freaking monkey one. Primeape. That cannot. That's just a monkey. That's fine. Monkeys are kind of humanoid. But there's far enough. Cristina: We can have all the rats and the cats. Yes. Here's the problem. Jack: Here's a problem. I'm about to break out that illusion real hard. Because the problem comes down to the fact that today, apes. Today gorillas and s***, all your ancestors or whatever, Machop, Machoke and Machamp. Cristina: Are all. Jack: More human looking than every ape. Other than humans that exist today. That's how human that thing. It looks more like us than it does our own apes. That's how human that thing looks. That's just a person. Okay, you know, that's definitely just a person. Hitmo chan is just a person. And because it's related to Hitmo lead. Even then Hitmo lead looks like a person. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And Tyrogue is who you're talking about. Cristina: Who's Tyrone? Jack: The one that evolves into all three of them. Cristina: Oh, okay. It looks like a child. Jack: Then. Cristina: We have wearing clothes. Yes. Jack: The bird. The firebird. Doesn't actually have fire Firebird. A torchic that becomes combustion, then becomes blaziken. The Fighting Chicken. Cristina: Okay, but it looks human. She's a human wizard thing. Or her last. No, wait, no, that's someone else I'm thinking of. Jack: This is a chicken. Cristina: But it's chicken. Jack: It. It looks. It's just a fire. Cristina: Fire chicken. Oh, the fighting Chicken. Okay, Is she at the zoo? Where. Where did we put that at? Oh, that's a person, I guess. Jack: Yeah, that's a person. That's just a human. There's too many real human. There's Pokemon that are just gonna live amongst us. Also, the psychic with the ballerina dress. Gardevoir. Cristina: Oh, what about her? Jack: That's just a person. Cristina: Oh, yeah, but we already ruled out psychic. Jack: Yeah, we did rule out psychic. Cristina: Can't have pets. Yeah. Jack: Okay, so definitely. No exaggerate. Anything that looks more like us. Anything more human looking than a gorilla cannot be simple. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Anything. Cristina: There's still a lot left over. Jack: Yeah, there's a lot left over. 00:15:00 Jack: There's a lot left over. Also, we couldn't have things indoors that are obviously going to destroy the indoors. Like you said. Pokemon that have, like, fire. Pokemon that actually have fire coming off of them. Cristina: Yeah. Are there some poisonous Pokemon that, like, if you touch them, they poison you? Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's definite Pokemon that are just truly dangerous to have unless you know how to handle them. Cristina: Okay, so we can't have poison types. That rules out. Yeah, we're slowly ruling out a bunch of types, though. Jack: Well, it depends on the poison type. You're not just gonna get poisoned by touching all of them. Cristina: Yeah. Okay. Jack: But here's another thing. We'd be eating Pokemon. And people don't think about this. Cristina: Maybe we just eat their eggs. Jack: We're still human and we're gonna eat Pokemon. No, that's just gonna be a reality of life. It's weird again when you think about how sentient these beings are. Cristina: We're gonna eat them, and we're just gonna eat them. Which Pokemon can we eat? Jack: We can eat Milk Tank as a different kind of cow. Cristina: Okay. Jack: You know, we can eat. Except we're not going to because it's humanoid. Cristina: That bird. Jack: The bird. Cristina: Well, baby ones, maybe. Jack: We could eat baby Ones? No, but that's their children. It's weird to us, but they're going to end up humanoid. Cristina: What if they like to eat their children? Jack: They can do whatever. Cristina: Oh, they can do it. But we can. Jack: We're not going to eat their children. But humanoid Pokemon are definitely out. And because of that, we don't eat that chicken person. But we can eat. We can eat anything that's. Do you know anything that's an animal, like a gorilla. Obviously the society approves of. We're not going to eat like the elephant Pokemon. Cristina: Who wants to eat a Pokemon? No one wants to eat a Pokemon. Jack: People are going to eat Pokemon. It's just going to be normal in society to eat Pokemon. Cristina: I don't know. That's really tough, I guess if Pokemon are already normal. But if they came out of nowhere. Jack: No, this is if they were normal. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: This is if they were normal, but society somehow evolved the way it did today. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: How would they fit into the current structure? Know based on how they are? We would be eating some Pokemon. We'd definitely be eating some Pokemon. We would have been eating Pokemon our whole lives. Cristina: How many people would be doing Pokemon? Jack: Oh, my God. I think a lot of people would be Pokemon. Cristina: Like. Jack: Also, is Mr. Mima made to Ash's mom? Cristina: I don't know. He's a person. I don't know. Also, he's psychic. Jack: He is a person and he's psychic. Okay, fair enough. You can't animal Pokemon. So you could. Your Machoke. Cristina: Yeah. Okay. Jack: You could. You could actually. That Pokemon. That wouldn't be illegal. It has to be consenting or a trade. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It has to be consenting or a trait. Cristina: I don't know. Jack: But hey, whatever you're into, man, you get to your. Your humanoid Pokemon. Cristina: Thank you. I think I rather eat them. Jack: You rather eat them? A choke? Cristina: No, I rather do nothing with one. I don't want to look at one. Jack: Yeah, Machoke is pretty awful looking. Cristina: There's some Pokemon I just don't want to look at. Jack: So then humanoid Pokemon would have all the rights. Humans do, basically, right? We're gonna let them vote in their elections. Unless they're acclimating to us. You said give them their own place. Cristina: No, that doesn't make sense. Because if it was there, they're with us since the beginning of time. It doesn't feel right to just separate from them. Jack: I mean, we could have been raised separately, different kinds of. But also there'd be places where people, humans and these different civilizations live together. Cristina: I guess you know, so you don't think it's everyone everywhere. Jack: There's many countries you can go to that are just one. One race. So there's probably a bunch of places that we'd be able to go to that are just one species. But there'd be places we can of humanoid, and there'd be other places we go to where there's multiple species of humanoid. Cristina: Okay. I guess. Jack: Think about how dark the reality is in Pokemon that they really are enslaving these things. Cristina: Yes. I don't know. Yes. Once you put something in the computer, I think that's really sad. Jack: Yeah. You just soulless at that point. Cristina: Yeah. Like, it's worse than just having them in your ball because you know at least it's gonna come out eventually. No, they don't even exist in your computer. That's it. Jack: Yeah, they just exist in stasis. Cristina: Yeah. Like, when are you gonna look at that again? It's lost forever. Jack: So then, which Pokemon would make 00:20:00 Jack: excellent pets? Cristina: Dogs and cats. Normal types. Jack: Fair enough. I think this is the moment where. Well, you couldn't have it as a pet. It would be like your clefairy. It would be your clefairy. Cristina: What, the adorable. Jack: No, Persian. You can have it as a pet, but it could be your roommate. It could be your family member. Cristina: It could be your family. Why would it be your family? Not your blood, but cat. Jack: It's literally a cat, but thinks like a human. Literally. Cristina: Do they not all think like humans? Jack: You think cats think like humans? Cristina: No. You're saying. Oh, so you're saying only Persians. Jack: Oh, Persian isn't psychic. Cristina: No, it's not. Jack: Oh, it has psychic moves. Right. Okay. No, you should definitely be able to have Persian as a pet. Yeah. That cat. Yeah. No, that's a pet. That's a pet for sure. Cristina: All the animals besides the psychic ones and the dark ones and the ghost ones. Jack: Yeah, the ghost ones, because those be dead people. And dead Pokemon, the. And that's f***** up. The psychic ones because they can prove their humanity. The humanoid ones, because that's just f***** up. And the dark ones, because we can't ever trust them. They're literally evil. That's the point. Cristina: Yes. And you can't get older Pokemon as pets. Jack: You can, but you have to know what the h*** you're doing. Not everybody can have an older Pokemon as a pet. It's like getting an older dog or some s***. That's just a person with problems, especially if they're a wild person who's lived outside their whole Lives. Cristina: That's insane. Jack: Yeah, I guess. Fair enough. I guess. That's not a person. Interesting. Cristina: Why? Jack: Because it's not. Think about it. Cristina: It's a wild animal. Jack: That's a wild animal that wasn't raised with people that was raised out there not thinking thoughts like humans. Cristina: And there's like, come on. Animal shelters. Like, for wild animals to be killed. Jack: There'S probably gonna be. Cristina: Oh, I guess. Jack: But think about it. I never thought about this. It's like if, like an indigenous person out there or something wild and savage, except they're one of us now. What would be the difference between one of those indigenous people? If they looked like. If they were all gorillas but the behavior was identical, we would say that that's not behavior that reflects us at all. That's animalistic behavior. Simply because they're an animal. Cristina: Mm. Jack: Even if they were doing exactly what they're doing every time they see us now. Except they worker at us. Cristina: So which Pokemons will those be? Just wild Pokemon. Jack: Those would be wild Pokemon. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Wild Pokemon outside. We would just. Because they're behaving, unhuman. Those are not people. Cristina: So then we can't have old. But you said we can. Jack: People who understand how to train them perfectly fine. But I'm saying wild Pokemon trained out there would never compare to a Pokemon, like, raised indoors or whatnot. Raised around people. I think the ones that are humanoid are only humanoid because they were raised around humans. The ones that have those thoughts, not physically. Cristina: Okay. Not the physical, because they're naturally just. They look like us anyway. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Okay. Jack: But if one of those very ones that was very humanoid lived in the wild and acted like a savage, we would still protect it with the laws of humans. Because our laws are going to dictate anything that looks more human than the gorilla. We just like, they're like savages. That's it. But they're people. Those are people. They look too much like us. Cristina: I feel like there's still so many Pokemon we cannot have. I feel like a lot of Pokemon are bigger than we think they are. And that's a problem. Jack: But then again, people, you know, really filthy rich people would have made homes capable of housing some of these. Cristina: Yeah. Like even just like the Persian you were talking about, like a normal apartment can't hold a. Jack: No. That's like the size of a casual, like, small, big cat. Cristina: Yeah. You need space. You need a lot of space. Jack: Yeah. We would need so much room. An average size apartment wouldn't house like. Cristina: A Pidgeotto or Pidgeot. Like those things are huge. Huge. Jack: Huge f****** bird. It couldn't open it with swings. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Like your house to that fully evolved human sized bird is like a birdhouse. 00:25:00 Cristina: Yeah. So, like, I don't understand, like, you can't. A lot of these have to have their own home or live in your backyard or something. Jack: No, you gotta understand that homes would have simply changed, okay? We would have adapted with them. Cristina: So we wouldn't have apartment buildings. Like, how would the city look if it's filled with Pokemon? Jack: Ceilings would be really tall in every home. Or, you know. No, not every home. Because again, it would still be up to who can afford to house these things and feed them. Cristina: Okay. Jack: You know, the bigger, the more you gotta feed it. If it eats, I guess there's some Pokemon that don't eat. Cristina: There's Pokemon that don't eat. Jack: Pokemon that aren't even like living things more than they are like sentient things. Cristina: You can't have those as Pokemon, can you? Jack: Like, I'm sure you can have like, if like Sudowoodo. Cristina: He's a rock stick. Do we. Can we have him? Jack: I guess you could have him as a pet. As a Pokemon. Catch him if you want. I don't. What's the difference between owning and having it? Cristina: No, you own arms, legs, a face. What makes him not human? Jack: He doesn't look. He looks like a tree, not like a human. Cristina: Okay. I don't know. He's a weird one. Jack: You gotta look human, okay. Not just be standing by people. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Because then like Charizard could get in. Oh, yeah, that's just. No, no. But. Lost my train of thought. Which Pokemon was I trying to think about? Cristina: I don't know. What Pokemon were you trying to think? Jack: I have no idea. But no. The freaking bird. The houses would have adapted. Yes, the houses would have adapted to the size of Pokemon. So people who like, let's say damage is you can't own a metagross. But if you wanted like a giant alien looking spaceship, right? You want a giant alien looking. There you go. Another. But those things. Well, no, that's way smaller than the metagross. But gross is the example for a reason. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Because it's huge. Yes, but like, if you're Elon Musk, you probably have a giant. The biggest you could find. Cristina: Metagross. Jack: Metagross. It looks like an alien spaceship and it's the size of a building. And then he rides it around his like SpaceX facility. Cristina: Horrifying. Okay. Jack: You know, it walks him from one building to the other. Giant Spider thing. Cristina: We keep the lights off and it's crawling with its bright red eyes. Oh, my God. Jack: And it could float. Cristina: Horrifying. Oh, my gosh. Even scary. Jack: It probably would have been what inspired him to create most of the space stuff at that point. He'd be talking about his weird alien spaceship Pokemon. Cristina: Except that that guy is psychic, so he can't actually can't. Jack: You're totally right. Cristina: But that could be a co worker or employee, whatever. Jack: You're totally right. And man, there's so many. There's so many Pokemon. It's weird. But yeah, adopting Pokemon would have to be way considered. I'm sure they'd be like, man, it'd be weird because, like, rich people would be going to adopt like. Like adoption agency. Cristina: Yeah. They'll be in the global trade thing with all the Pokemons putting. Getting all the IVs. 31. Like finding the perfect expensive Pokemon. It wouldn't just be any Pokemon. Jack: Yeah, no. Cristina: They'd be looking for the beginning, the shinies. Jack: Yeah, they'd be collecting shinies. They'd be looking for the strongest, best Pokemon they could find. Wasting all their money on maybe the Alphas. Cristina: I don't know. Jack: But that's different. Them buying that versus going to, like, because you. They could buy a normal Pokemon. They can't buy a humanoid Pokemon. They got to go to a foster home. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And then when they go to a foster home, they're shopping between humans of different races and literal different species of humanoids. Cristina: Okay. At the foster home. Jack: Look at this human baby. Oh, look at this cute little machoke. Cristina: Oh, my gosh. You're deciding between those two. Oh, okay. Jack: Yeah. Think about how white people will sooner adopt a black or Asian kid to kind of check off their diversity box or whatever, instead of another white person who's equally in need. It's the same idea. There would be more options of species to adopt. Cristina: Okay. But normal person would not be adopting. They would just be finding them. I don't know. Jack: What do you mean a normal person? Cristina: Like, would we have Pokeballs in this 00:30:00 Cristina: society that's grown up with Pokemon? Jack: Yeah, we would still have Pokeballs for sure. Because we would also need, like, some of these Pokemon aren't having jobs, they're animals. Cristina: Because then we'd be catching them the old fashioned way. Jack: Catch them the old fashioned way. Like, we're not gonna. Like, we catch. I'm sure people go catch as well as breed. Ataros. Cristina: Mm. Jack: That's just a bull. Cristina: Yeah. This is a pretty cool bull, though. But. Yes. Jack: Yeah, but Then they catch this bull in their little Pokeball Majiggy. As well as freedom. Whatever. You're not a human. Cristina: It sucks. We can't have ghost Pokemon. Jack: Why these dead people? They're ghosts. Cristina: Why are there so many ghost Pokemon? I look so cool. Jack: If you had non Pokemon plants, you would want in your house a water Pokemon. Cristina: If you had non. Jack: Non Pokemon plants. Plants that aren't Pokemon. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: You want a water Pokemon living in your house. Cristina: Okay. But if you had a plant like Pokemon, would you not still want a water Pokemon? Jack: That's weird. How would one help the other? Cristina: I don't know. Because it's still a plant Poke. I mean, the Pokemon that's a plant still needs water. Jack: That's a weird relationship. Cristina: You give you water from the water Pokemon. Or would it still be seen as an attack? No, I don't know. Jack: No, they can control it. Cristina: Yeah, like, can't he just spray him with water and he just drink it up the way plants do? Jack: Mad kinky. Okay, assume the one who's doing the water spit spitting is the. The humanoid Pokemon with the spinny thingy on his body. And then assume that the other receiving end Pokemon is the flower that looks like a. A sexy lady or whatever the. They're going for. Cristina: Sexy lady flower. Jack: It's like a lady plant thing. They're definitely trying to make her look like she's a hot to. Kind of like that annoying rabbit. Cristina: Annoying rabbit. But the sexy flower lady, not flower. Jack: It's like some plant or some crap. I'm not entirely sure what it is. Let me see if I can find it. Cristina: And it's not. It's not bell awesome. Ryan P. She does not look sexy. She's just cute. Jack: It's the thick one. There you go. The thick one. Cristina: Oh, Rose. What's a ro. Red Roserade. Jack: Roserade. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Okay, so sure. So it's that buff bro looking thing trying to in this case, squirt its water onto this lady looking thing. And those just happen to be the two Pokemon that you own. That's weird. Now also, I think that Pokemon should be excluded because she's too humanoid and he's too humanoid. They're kind of allowed to do whatever they want. Cristina: Okay, so if he does want to give her water, it's not wrong. Jack: It's not wrong. Cristina: You can't tell him to give her. Jack: You can't tell him. That's. That's abuse. You can't tell him to do anything, especially not to give her water. Cristina: But there's how many flower looking Plants are okay to have. She's not okay to have. Jack: She literally looks like a chick. If you look like a person, that already exists. Cristina: Bellossom, that other choice. Is she okay? She looks like a little girl. Yeah. Jack: Blossom's in a sketchy area, you know, because it's like. You look like a flower, too. Like, a lot. A lot. But also you kind of look like a person. Cristina: Okay, but gloom is okay. Jack: You. Yeah, you get. Gloom is just a creature. Cristina: So if you're lucky and you evolve into something that looks humanoid, you're okay? Jack: Yes, 100%. You just lucked out by evolution. But the problem is, then your whole lineage must be protected so that you can get to where you're going. So I guess we have to weigh some of these. No, Blossom, because she looks so much like a flower, she's excluded and will just be a Pokemon. Cristina: Okay, so what if I want my Bulbasaur to water my. Whatever, my Bellossom? Jack: Well, that's just a turtle. That's an animal. You can get it. Do whatever you want. Cristina: Okay. So you can water her. Jack: You can water her. Cristina: Okay. 00:35:00 Cristina: And it's not wrong. Jack: And it's not wrong. And it's not weird or rape. It's nothing of the sort. Cristina: I'm just trying to water my plant. Jack: Criminals would also have preferred Pokemon. They probably opt into. And we would see this in a lot of places. Regions would have regions, jobs, different. Everything. Everything would have specialized Pokemon, you know? You know, think about how easy it would be to have power plants if you have electric Pokemon working there, generating electricity themselves. Cristina: And steel Pokemon, will they help? Jack: Probably for building things. Maybe they can pull really exaggerated loads of weight. Interesting. Interesting. Cristina: Well, then, if they would be helped like that, I guess Rock Pokemon, too. Jack: Yes, but also psychic Pokemon would literally be your employee at that time, moving things with their mind to help you build and lift even more. Cristina: They're way more helpful in, like, working with us than actually being pets. So I don't know if we should have Pokemon as pets. I think we'd do more if we were just like, let's work together and build and stuff. Jack: But, like, a fire dog is still a dog, you see. Like, it doesn't work anymore because you. Cristina: Can'T do anything with a fire dog. Jack: Yeah. Like, what the h*** are you going to do with a fire dog? Just treat it like a dog and. Cristina: Except you can't have Houndoom. Oh, man. Oh, he's evil. Jack: Yeah, he is. Cristina: He's just an evil dog. Oh, no. Jack: But our canine is a fire dog. Cristina: He's humongous. Jack: You couldn't. You could never. You could never have some of these cooler looking Pokemon in the real world. Cristina: Exactly. Jack: You would really. Cristina: You could have the baby version. Jack: You would have him on a farm. Cristina: Yes. Jack: He's like a giant. He's giant golden retriever. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And he's like a good 10ft tall. Well, sometimes. No, realistically, he could be like six feet tall on all four. Cristina: That's crazy. Jack: And that's huge. That's monstrously big. Cristina: Ridiculous. Jack: That's so inappropriately. But think. He's so. His fur is so cuddly. Cristina: Yes. He would feel like you could probably ride him around like neck like. Like your little dog or dogs. I don't know if people sleep with their dogs on their bed. Jack: He would be the size of your bed laying down. Cristina: Yeah. It's adorable. Jack: He would be the size of your bed. Cristina: He would be your bed. Jack: He would be your bed. Yeah. You could sleep on top of him. You wouldn't need the bed. Throw a blanket in on the corner of a room or something. He lays down and then you go and lay down on top of. Cristina: Oh, he's too huge though. Ridiculous. There. There's too. I don't know what Pokemon. Jack: All the small ones are easy. Like you could have a Pichu. Cristina: Okay, well then when it becomes a raichu. How big is that? Right. You. Jack: No, you choose not to evolve it or you gotta let it out. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Because that's pretty big. Well, then again, it says no, but that's just smaller than humans, so. Cristina: Right. You. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Do you know what? What? How tall does it get? Jack: Three feet. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It's not that bad. Cristina: Okay, I guess. Okay, that's not bad. Jack: It's not bad. Cristina: But like a rat attack. That thing is huge, isn't it? Jack: It's still not like a human height. Cristina: Oh, how big is it? Jack: That's also like three feet. But then you can't have like Really? A Charizard is hard. A Blastoite is hard. These like giant Colossal Pokemon. Cristina: Charmeleon school. Jack: But he's on fire. You can't have that in your house. Anyways. Cristina: Charmeleon. No, I guess Charmander either. Bulbasaur is okay. Jack: Yeah. Squirtle. You can have most starting versions of Pokemon in your home, but it sucks. That's why you gotta get the out of the house if you want to be a trainer. Right. Because, well, you can have a bunch. And a bunch of them are going to get huge and you're not going to have that here. Cristina: So just gotta be A bunch of babies. Jack: They gotta be babies. You can't let them evolve because it wouldn't fit in your house. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: So you put them in a computer. Cristina: No, that's the worst. There's no computers. We did not invent the computer. Jack: I promise you. We would have invented the computer too. Cristina: No, that's the worst. That makes no sense. Jack: No, I'm sure they're keeping humans in that prison too. Cristina: It should be illegal. That's the prison. That's just a new prison system, is a computer. We don't have prisons. You just go into a computer. Jack: Well, no. Yeah. When we make that a prison for the humans. For criminals who are humanoid. Cristina: Okay. But actual humans. Jack: Well, humans too. Cristina: Okay. So then we would 00:40:00 Cristina: have to. Jack: Well, we are humanoid. Cristina: Exactly. So we're getting rid of the prison. Jack: Yeah. And putting us in computers that simulate our misery or whatever. Cristina: Okay. We're gonna make the Matrix. Jack: Yeah, we're gonna make the Matrix. I'm sure the Matrix is what's happening inside of a Pokeball. The Matrix is what's happening inside of Pokeball. No. Or is a state of not being. Is there nothing going on inside of a Pokeball? Because then it doesn't work as a prism if you're just not being and no time passes for you. Cristina: Like, I don't know. Jack: I think that's maybe what's happening. Cristina: I don't know. Because they don't act, like, horrified when they're out, like, how much no time. Jack: Has passed for them. Cristina: But when they realize time has passed, shouldn't that be horrifying the first time it happens? Will they be used? Like, how are they used to it? Jack: They're raised that way. Cristina: I don't know. Jack: That's why it's easier to catch younger Pokemon and harder to catch older ones because they're freaking out. The younger ones are like, what the f***'s happening? The older ones are, f*** that s*** up. Cristina: Okay, then that makes a little more sense. They're like, no, I don't want that. I know what's gonna happen. Jack: No, they don't know what's gonna happen. Cristina: Because they've never stayed in it. I don't know. It still doesn't make sense. No, no, no, no. That's horrible. Jack: Now, I have a note here that I find is funny because I was trying to think about the battling, and then next it. It just says, like, chicken fighting. Cristina: Like chicken fighting. Jack: That's basically what Pokemon battles are when you're doing it just for s**** and giggles, I guess. Cristina: Should we be throwing money in it. I guess we do throw money in it. Yeah. That will still be chicken fighting. Jack: It's chicken fighting. It's chicken fighting. We're enslaving humanoids and forcing them to fight. Like hobos for meat or something. Bro, what is happening in Pokemon? Cristina: I don't know. I mean, what if we split the money with the Pokemon? Would that make it more fair? Jack: You're making them fight for it and you're just taking what they earned. What the. Are you the fight handler? Yes. I guess you're just a fight promoter. Cristina: Yeah. Like when you have. You gotta battle with three Pokemon at the same time, you gotta help them decide what's the best. Jack: Why would they need. Cristina: I don't know. They need help deciding which move to make. Okay. Yeah. They would just stand there getting hit if you didn't tell them. Hey, dodge that hit. Jack: Yeah. No. 100%. It appears that all Pokemon have no sort of sense of drive of any sort. And they have a crazy sense of indecision. Cristina: Unless they're wild. That's the only time they know what to do. Jack: That's weird. We made them dumb. They're pugs. They're like pugs. Cristina: They become pugs once we catch them. Jack: They're just dumb and. Well, no, if they raise that way, because wild Pokemon that you do manage to catch sometimes still do whatever the they want because they know what to do. That's true dog life. Cristina: Okay? Jack: We make them dumb. We catch them and raise them like a stupid animal. It's like the difference between raising. Just bring a wolf home when it's a baby, raise that wolf, and then tell that wolf to go meet the wolves that grew up outside. They're gonna be like, you're retarded. Cristina: You can tell that wolf that you're retarded. Okay, yeah. Jack: You're dumb. You're dumb. Cristina: And that's why they need us to fight. And that's why dividing the money makes sense. Jack: Well, no, because those slaves don't get money. And those slaves are pets. They're animals. Cristina: There's no slaves. What are you talking about? In the game, sure, I guess they're slaves. But in ours, you wouldn't have. Jack: Machoke would not be fighting. No, he would have Pokemon he's using to fight. Cristina: Yes, but he would be splitting the money with those Pokemon. Jack: Why? Those are animals. You don't split your money with your horse now just because it's. Who pulled the people. That was your money. All you do is buy it. More hay and food. Cristina: Fighting is illegal. Isn't It. So we can't just have our Pokemon fight each other unless they're getting something from it. Jack: So is your argument that if we paid the chicken, it would be legal? Cristina: Yes, it would be more. Okay. Jack: Is paying the chicken the way to bring back chicken fighting? Cristina: Yes, I think so. Jack: Because it's not illegal chicken fighting. It's emotional chicken. Cristina: Exactly. Now he has a job. He's feeding his family. Jack: It's the logic behind p*** which is legal. Yes. Yes. A hundred percent. As long as it's being recorded. Yes, it's fine. Cristina: And they're getting paid and it's all. Yes, there are rules. That's how it works. I don't know. Yeah, 00:45:00 Cristina: it doesn't need to make a hundred percent sense. Everyone just has to agree to it. Jack: But in poor countries, people would still be chicken fighting. Pokemon fighting. Cristina: Yeah, they'll just keep the money themselves. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: Okay. Jack: But then, because they're animals, we're not Pokemon fighting. Basically, there's just like, ufc and Machoke is whooping a** like he's a Brazilian or something. Cristina: Well, no, because he wouldn't be fighting. He'd. Have you said he would be having Pokemon to fight? Jack: Well, no. UFC is just humans. Cristina: Oh, okay. So he can fight in the ufc. Yeah. Jack: Be fighting humanoids. Because he's not a Pokemon. That's where he would fight. Cristina: Yes, but maybe they'll have, like a class for every Pokemon or something. Class, too. He's. That. He's gotta be way heavier. Jack: He literally has powers. Cristina: Exactly. Although he probably can't use them. Jack: Oh, no. Cristina: But he's technically probably a wild Pokemon anyway. So he should be able to use it because no one owns him. Jack: No, he's just a person. Cristina: Exactly. So he should be able to fight like a wild type Pokemon. Jack: Well, that's not like a wild type Pokemon. It's really because he developed a sense of identity. We trained our Pokemon to do whatever we wanted to. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And we told them what to do, and they just do it. They're like dogs. Cristina: Yes, because he's not. Jack: He was raised. Yeah, but not because he's wild. Cristina: No. Jack: But rather he was raised like humans. You just do whatever you want, and I just do whatever I want. I didn't raise you to do only what I say. Cristina: Yeah. So, okay, then he. Yeah, he would just a person. Be able to fight. Jack: Yeah, he could easily go fight and he would just know what to do. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Probably no more than four moves. Cristina: Why do they only know formulas if. Jack: I think it's just up to the trainer's crappy Memory, Really? Cristina: Okay. I guess. Yeah. Like, some people probably just spam two moves. Who knows? Jack: Yeah. Like, you don't need a thousand things. Do the same four things over and over. Cristina: You'd be fine. Jack: Yeah, but so then UFC would have. Yeah. Divisions for. Because you couldn't. You couldn't realistically fight. You would die. Yeah. They got powers, man. So they would have to fight only their own, in their own weight class. There would be so many different species classes and weight classes within the species classes. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Whoa. UFC would be amazing. Cristina: We'd be tuning too much. We wouldn't be able to watch every episode. No, no, no. Jack: The crazy fights all the time. It's dope. And to be crossover things when possible, things that kind of scale, because, like, we're assuming all Pokemon that are no longer going to be referred to as Pokemon, but the humanoids would be stronger than, like, the heavyweight classes. Right. They're just way over that. So they would be exciting to watch like that. Like, just way over the scale. We're like, oh, heavyweight match. Cool, dope, crazy fight. But, like, macho fight. That's like. They could hit like a train. He could literally hit, like, if he was a train, and he's gonna hit another thing that could get hit by a train and be fine. Cristina: Yes. That's crazy. Jack: Like, that's way higher up of a weight class. Cristina: Yes. Yes. That works. Jack: That works. And I'm sure that there'd be infestations of Pokemon rats. Rats. There would be rat attackats everywhere on everything. They would be. No. Here's the f****** problem, dude. Birds would just stop. There'd only be Pokemon. There'd only be flying Pokemon. There wouldn't be birds. You know how big a feral Pokemon is? Even small Pokemon are huge. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: They're gonna eat all the birds. Cristina: Bugs would still be around. Jack: Bugs would be a problem. Cristina: Like human. I mean, not human bugs, but, you know, non Pokemon. Jack: Yeah. They'd be hard to get rid of. Cristina: Well, Sylvia, I think. Jack: But Pokemon bugs are going to be an issue. Cristina: Yes. Jack: If you don't like bugs, that's nightmare world to live in. Cristina: Especially, like, a hive of beedrills. How horrifying is that? Jack: You die. One stings you, you die. If you're human. The size of that bee. Cristina: Because, like, beetles are humongous if they have to. And they have that Pokemon that's like a queen bee, too. Like, are they living in hives? How big is that hive? That queen is kind of big. Those babies are kind of big babies. They're like. They're like Pikachu size, but they're still. That's a baby bee. Jack: No. Yeah, I know. We're talking that this bee is easily seven feet tall. Cristina: And then. Jack: Hives of these things. Cristina: And then how much is in a hive? Like, of hundreds. Hundreds of these tall beings. Like, they're living. It's probably like a tower made of honey or something that we just see. Jack: And 00:50:00 Jack: building. Cristina: That's where they are. We're gonna keep away from that. Jack: Yes, it's a building. But then again, those things are so big that either it's away from civilization out in the woods somewhere, which. Cool. Cristina: Yes. Jack: Or they're also just kind of living to a humanoid degree mentally, because they're so huge. Like, we can't stay out of each other's way. Then you just raise yourself around us, and then you're like the machoke. Cristina: Yeah, but they just have their own thing. Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. They can make their own home. Cristina: Horrifying still, because they're huge. Too many are too big. Jack: Too many, man. There's. Yes. All of the above. And that applies to so many Pokemon. So all these humanoid Pokemon would have to learn how to use money. The ones that lived in our societies. Cristina: Yes. And that's why we're paying them to fight each other. Jack: Well, they're just fighting the way humans are fighting. We're not paying the animal Pokemon. No, no. Cristina: So no chicken fighting. Jack: Only humanoid Pokemon get paid. Cristina: Okay, and those aren't Pokemon. Jack: They're just humanoids. Cristina: Yes, but we can't make our Pokemon fight each other. That's illegal. Jack: At least in this country. Okay, but there are countries where it's not. Cristina: Okay, but here, no. Jack: Here, no Pokemon fighting. Cristina: No Pokemon fighting. No battles. Jack: But the battles are going to be happening in third world countries for sure. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And on top of that, there's gonna be intentionally humanoid military operatives and animal Pokemon weapons. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Yeah. Armies of fire Pokemon running into enemy territory, using their fire ability to burn things down, being directed by humans and humanoids. Cristina: Mm. That's crazy. Can we do that? Jack: War would change so drastically. We literally have powers at this point. And there would be issues all the time. The moment somebody got a whiff, there's a. There's a legendary Pokemon with insurmountable amounts of power. Like a lot of countries, it's a race to the moon. Every time we hear about anyone about a legendary. Cristina: Yeah, yeah. Jack: Every country. Every country. Everybody. Cristina: I don't even know, like, these legendaries, they live in their own. They can make their own home outside of Earth. Can't they? Jack: Like, some of them. Cristina: Some of them are earthbound. Jack: Yeah. Like the ones that. Like the giant whale and the dino thing, like, the water and ground, those. Cristina: Are too dangerous to even be next to. They're huge also. Jack: Yeah. They cause tsunamis and earthquakes. Huge. Cristina: That's gonna be a problem. How is this not gonna turn into an apocalypse? Jack: Well, it would have been normal always. Cristina: Okay, that seems really dangerous. Jack: It would have been normal always. Otherwise we would have never gotten this far. If it was apocalyptic, we would have just never existed. Cristina: Okay. Jack: But we've made it here. Except society works with us today. Cristina: Yes. And we're only able to have some Pokemon test, but very few, so we'd. Jack: Have a lot more citizens. It's just weird. But then again, it's weird to think about, oh, there's a bunch of wild Machoke, but also, like, there's a bunch of wild humans. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Just out there being human. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: In the wild. Cristina: I mean, Macho will go to school with us and have jobs with us. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: 100. Jack: Even if they can't say anything but their own word. No, they would learn. I think they would learn because Meowth proved that. Yeah, he just practiced. Cristina: Yeah. And there's no reason why he would learn English from saying meow all the time. Like, if he can do it, they can all do it. Doesn't make sense. Jack: The police would be racist to other humanoids. 100%. Cristina: The police. Yeah, human, please. Jack: Oh, human police is gonna be racist to humanoids? To be fair, even if we let them into our society because they're humanoid, we would still treat them like lesser people. Cristina: For fact, even if they spoke English. Jack: Even if they spoke English. Cristina: I guess. Jack: It would go like this. White people treat everybody like crap. Then black people are gonna treat everybody. They're gonna be cool with the Pokemon, but not cool with the white people. Cristina: And then. Jack: How would this break down socially? Because it's. What 00:55:00 Jack: is it? The minorities? No, I guess it. No, it really breaks down to the following. The Pokemon that behave like white people will side with white people. And the Pokemon that behave like black people would side with black people. And the Pokemon that behave like middle. Like there's Middle Eastern behaving Pokemon. Cristina: Okay. What? Jack: Yeah. And racism would distribute itself like this. Cristina: You're saying there's Pokemon that act like different races? Jack: Yeah, there's Pokemon that have, like, racial biases attached to them. Some of the psychic Pokemon, if you look at Alakazam, always doing very Indian poses and always dressing in, like, old, ancient, wise India man or Chinaman, who knows? So he's this very specific area. A cliche character of it. Even how his eyes are formed, all of it is a giant cliche of this region. The people from those regions would be fine with this Pokemon, and they would prefer that humanoid Pokemon over some other humanoid Pokemon over, like, a Machoke that just looks like an American. Cristina: He looks like an American. Jack: He's too beefy. He's been eating too well. Cristina: Okay. Jack: You know. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And we would prefer Machoke to Alakazam just because we're racist. Cristina: Okay, that makes sense. Jack: That would happen to all Pokemon that are humanoid. We would just racially align with more of them or species. Ly. It would still be racially. We would still have race that crosses boundaries within these collectives, because species is not race. Cristina: So are you gonna. Jack: I guess culture is what we're talking about. Cristina: We're calling them. But are we gonna be calling them the race or culture that they're a part of? Jack: I guess we would call them. Interesting. That's weird. I guess we would be calling them part of the culture that they're part of. It's weird, right? Because you can be a Alakazam from India. You're Indian just because you're from India. That's also part of not just your nationality, but your culture is Indian. So you're an Alakazam raised in India. I'm sure that's different than an Alakazam raised in the United States. Behaviorally, very different. Cristina: Yes, it would be. Jack: Yeah, yeah, it would be. Now, on average, where a Pokemon is from is where its behavior is going to line up to the most. And a region where this Pokemon is really common. Well, that's an Indian Pokemon. Cristina: Okay, so you're saying Pokemon are going to be spread out. Like actual animals are spread out in. Jack: The world and like people. Cristina: Yeah, and people. Yes. Okay. Like certain types of animals. Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, maybe some are everywhere. Like Pidgeys. Cristina: Yeah. Because they can fly anywhere. Jack: Yeah. But then there's some that are just confined to where they're from. Cristina: Yeah. Okay. Jack: But the humanoids travel more. And also there's some Pokemon that can't go anywhere even if you're humanoid. There's gonna be some Pokemon that are. Cristina: Humanoid and just struggle and to stay where they're at. Jack: Yeah, they have to stay where they're at because other environments would be dangerous. Cristina: What do you think Snorlax is? I don't think he's humanoid. Is he? Jack: No, he's not humanoid. Cristina: That's just a bear. Jack: I think that's a bear. I think he is a bear. He's a hibernating bear. Cristina: Oh, okay. Jack: I never thought about it. Cristina: It's a bear. Jack: I'm just fascinated by how these panda. How this race problem is gonna break because are we gonna think about it like color? A lot of people literally devolve to color and would say lighter skin, white, darker skin, person of color. Cristina: There's no white skinned Pokemon. Jack: No. But then how do we. Because we're gonna. We're human. We're gonna be racist. Cristina: Oh, so we're just gonna call them whatever color they are? Jack: Like. Well, no, the question is how would we do it Racist to them? Cristina: I don't. Jack: Not just human racism. Cristina: Yeah, but how would. Jack: Because we can't. Cristina: Okay. Okay. Jack: Unless we're like, well, you stupid blue Pokemon. Cristina: I guess we could do that. Why not? Well, we'll invent words. Jack: Call them an ink stain. Cristina: An ink. Yes, like that. Jack: You ink. Cristina: That sounds awful. What is that supposed to be too like a poison type Pokemon? I don't understand. Jack: No, it's just any blue Pokemon. It's racism. Cristina: Okay. Jack: It's Pokemon whose skin is blue. Okay, you ink. Cristina: But ink can be blue, black, red. Jack: It's blue. Because pens. 01:00:00 Jack: Even if pens could be black, the common use for pen. You think is blue. Oh, call them an ink. Cristina: That's awful. Okay, that works. I guess. Jack: I guess, like how would we. I'm sure we would be racist because we cannot discriminate because they're still humanoid. We would find other ways to be a*******. We just do that. Cristina: Yeah. So we call them names. Yeah. Jack: The psychic Pokemon would also be translators. Cristina: Yes. Jack: I mean, great profession. They could translate between any two given languages. They're psychic. They're not even really using words. You're hearing it on words. Cristina: They could just lie to you too. But unless that's more like an evil psychic than you control society easily. Would you trust that psychic Pokemon would. Jack: Be running the world? If anything, there'd be nobody who can move outpacing them. We would be the second rate citizens. Cristina: Yes. I think psychic could be above. Jack: Yeah. We couldn't do anything. Cristina: We're normal time. Jack: They would be the nobility. They'd be royalty. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And then we're just. We're still human. We're second most dangerous. And probably they just ignore us. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: Because what are we gonna do to them? Cristina: I think so psychic is a little too above. I don't know. Jack: Psychic who think at a human level. Because you can be psychic, have psychic abilities and not be super intelligent. So if you're raised in the wild and you just got psychic powers. You're probably using it in different ways. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Versus a refined individual. I guess it really comes. No, but they would have figured it out. They would have made society themselves. There must be really hyper intelligent Pokemon too. Cristina: I wonder who would that be? Jynx? Jack: Jinx. Cristina: She lives in a cave, doesn't she? What is she supposed to be? I don't know. Jack: That's a racist Pokemon. Okay, well, that's basically the black woman in a dress, the Pokemon. And then they made her purple because she was black. Originally it was blackface. It was blackface, the Pokemon. Cristina: Okay. But with very blonde hair. Yeah, but she's a psychic type, right? Jack: She's the psychic type. Cristina: Oh. Would she be above us, or do you think she's not? Jack: It depends on intellect. I don't know. I don't know. Is that Pokemon? If it's raised in a cave, it's not. Cristina: Okay. Where's Mr. Mime found? Also in a cave. I don't know. Jack: Yes. It's weird that they just hang out in caves or cavemen. Cristina: That's scary. Jack: We can raise them to be just as intelligent as we are, so they need us anyways. There's no Pokemon that just went out and built society. Cristina: Munchups. No. I don't know what in Pokemon in general, like. Jack: No. I mean, yeah, it would have to be, right? Unless Pokemon really went out and did it. But there has to be, like, a Pokemon that went out and made a society, and it's just those Pokemon living in pain, Right? Cristina: Mm. Jack: But no. Cristina: Why? Jack: I don't know why the f***. It's never happened in the shows or whatever. Not that I know. Cristina: Not that you know of. Yeah, I know. Jack: If it's been a very long time. Cristina: It could be so. Jack: Last time I saw Ash was going to the Orange Islands. Cristina: I don't even know what that is. Jack: That was like 2003. Cristina: Oh. But like, what's that in generations? I guess two Pokemon. Two. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Jack: And what generation are we on? 9? 10? Cristina: 20? No, 12. I don't know. Jack: I don't know how anybody keeps up with any of this. Cristina: I don't know. I hardly know the Pokemon. I know. Jack: Would there be any Pokemon in the medical field? Cristina: Chansey? Jack: The medical field would be destroyed. There'd be mostly Pokemon in the medical field. It would. Humans wouldn't be allowed to be Pokemon. You would raise non humanoid Pokemon with the explicit purpose of using their healing ability and recovering people. Absolutely. We'd live to Forever. Cristina: I don't. Okay. Jack: Everybody's hella healthy. Cristina: Has healing abilities, though. Jack: Hella chancy. Cristina: Okay, so just chassis. Okay. Jack: Yeah. There's a bunch of Pokemon that can do things like that. Cristina: Like that. I don't know. I mean, they could heals. Heal themselves. Jack: Anybody who learns. Anybody who can learn a Heal for the party. Cristina: For the party. What move is that? Jack: I don't know. Cristina: There is a move like that, though. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: It was the party. Not just yourself. Jack: Yeah. It heals other members in your party. Cristina: Okay. Jack: And so that would. That guy would be in the medical field for. For a fact. Cristina: Yes. Jack: And one that heals. Well, itself. Great fighting. That's a UFC fighter. Cristina: Okay. Jack: Great. Also great for firefighting. Cristina: Yeah. 01:05:00 Jack: For war. Cristina: Heal itself, I guess. Jack: Any Pokemon that can heal itself. Cristina: How many Pokemon heal themselves? I mean, besides, like. I can only think of, like the grass type Pokemon that still helps the help of others to heal themselves type of thing. Jack: Or rest. Cristina: Or rest, I guess. Rest. The psychic, Right. Jack: Yeah. What is roost Flying. Cristina: Oh. Jack: But it doesn't matter what they are. The point is they can recover it. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: And if they can recover, they have purposes that you could put them in dangerous situations and they'd be fine. Cristina: They can't be pets, can they? Jack: A lot of them can. Why can't they be pets? Cristina: Because, like, Chansey kind of seems like a smart. Jack: Well, okay. The same rule. If she can outsmart an ape, then you're too human. Cristina: Yeah. Like, she's got a career. Why are we keeping her as a pet? Jack: Unless she's raised in the wild and is just an animal. Cristina: Why is she raised in the wild? Jack: Because I'm sure there's many that are just out in nature. Cristina: Okay. Okay. Jack: Anyways. Anyways, that's just what I wanted to talk about. Take a weird look at what it would be like if Pokemon were real. Because of potty training? Cristina: Because of hobby training. I'm very confused about potty training. I just. I don't think it's worth having a Pokemon. Jack: I mean, a bunch of Pokemon like. Cristina: Or, like, just have one. Like, there wouldn't. There's no chance of having six or seven or whatever. Jack: Depends on the Pokemon. Cristina: You think there's some that learn quicker than others? Jack: Yeah, for sure. And there are some that are tiny enough so they're not a problem. Cristina: Yeah. You have, I guess, your whole pack of those. Jack: Realistically. Cristina: I think realistically everyone just have one. Jack: If Pokemon showed up today and most of them just minded their business and we caught what we could and fit them into These homes we would like. A lot of Pokemon are removed from what we could have. It would just be the small ones. Cristina: The small ones. But I think everyone would just be okay with having one. I don't think anyone really needs more than one. Jack: Unless we had that find your friends. If we had that machine system, we would become soulless real quick. Cristina: Okay, but let's pretend no computer. No computer that traps anyone. Jack: It wouldn't just be one, but, like, you could have one. Most people would have one. Cristina: I think most people. I think it would be one or two actual pets. Like, some people have one, some people have two. But, like, it's reasonable. Jack: There's crazy cat ladies who have many. Cristina: Yeah. And there's that. But that's not. Jack: And Farms will literally have many. Cristina: Yeah. But most people averagely one to three. Jack: Yeah. Cristina: And then there's always the person that's a little bigger. Jack: The bigger it is, the less likely you'd have another. Cristina: Yeah. So pretty basic. Jack: Makes sense. Cristina: I don't think 7. 6. Is it 6 too much? Jack: If they were small, they're small. Cristina: Yeah. Jack: It's like having six gerbils isn't crazy. Cristina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack: I mean, it still sounds kind of like a lot, but. Cristina: Yes, because they're not gonna be that small. Jack: I wonder if. No, there's a couple of Pokemon that actually start really tiny. Cristina: Like Pichu that you saw, you know, even smaller. Like. Jack: Like an inch. There's Pokemon start like an inch big. Cristina: Well, it's an inch. What Pokemon? Jack: Top of my head. I don't know, but. Cristina: Oh, that tiny spider. There's a tiny spider. The electric spider. He's tiny. Jack: Well, yeah, there's a bunch of Pokemon to start off really tiny. Cristina: Okay. But that guy is like a flea size. Jack: Oh, well, he's literally a flea. Cristina: Oh, okay. Well, no, it's a spider. Jack: Yeah, I think it's a. It's a tick, actually. Cristina: Oh, it's a tick. Jack: But anyways. Anyways, if you guys have any idea as to what would fit Pokemon or what weird thing would obviously occur if Pokemon showed up. Cristina: Yes. Is watering your Pokemon with another Pokemon. Jack: Inappropriate If they look humanoid? It looks like sex. Too much. Okay, but tell us. Going to go into our socials and tell us if it's inappropriate or not. If your water Pokemon, who's male looking and just a buff guido, decides to water your female Pokemon who is made curvy and voluptuous for some reason. Cristina: Why is she female? What if. Why is it not a man that looks like a pretty lady? I don't understand. Jack: I wonder if that Pokemon comes male. Cristina: That could. Jack: If it does come now male. Is that. Is that more. Is that just like a drag queen or something? Is that the equivalent of a gay. Cristina: Okay. Because it's a guy watering a guy flower. Jack: No, if the guy. If the same flower that's a sexy, voluptuous lady was just male. Cristina: I guess it's. Jack: That's the equivalent of like a gay dude. Cristina: No, it's. I don't know. No, I don't know. It looks like a flower. That flower looks like something. Someone. Mosquito. Tuskeedo. Jack: What? Cristina: Crap. Jack: From what? Cristina: Sailor Moon Mosquito mask. Tusketo mask. Jack: No, I don't know. Who cares? I don't know the name of it. Cristina: But the guy. Yes, the guy with a mask. Jack: Yes. Anyways, you guys can talk to us on our socials. Oscar Pod. That's on what? TikTok, on X. Cristina: Instagram. Jack: Instagram. All the socials. Just type in. Just convo pop. Cristina: And remember to subscribe, rate and review the show. Jack: Yes. And word of mouth, tell people about this program. Get it across that we're trying to figure out out what it would be like to see how Pokemon would function in the real world. Cristina: This has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye. Good morning. Good morning. This podcast is hosted by Cristina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.in fox art by 0lupo and logo by Seth McAllister with social media managed by Amber Black. 01:12:03
