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psychology

Sliding Slime

The forces of nature depict monsters and strangers
Causes of imminent danger
Blame hurts but disdain burns greater
Like inflamed coal burning black smoke
Up the ass and passed the damn throat
Never mind the trash talk
Air-head, the inflated savior
The last hope
Grave digger
This white nigger who stands on stacks to feel bigger
Triggered when seen fire beneath his feet
Thinking seas
The ship with Lincoln and King Luther sinking, bleak
Tired and unwilling to admire this old cynical liar
Truth hurts so he won’t try it
Clever illusions help with denial
Severed connections avoiding trials
Endeavor rejected…

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Desperate Thinking

Many of the major struggles we deal with as adults are internal. And they surround the perpetual identity crisis the “adult experience” turns out to be. Some of our worst demons reveal themselves to be a major part of our identity.

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In the back of my mind the grind stays in line
Shows up on time
Thick sludge slime drips off ass it goes by
Slow drive
No life, it chases faceless cries
Whines stalking hated ties through crooked lies
It takes or it dries
Created illusions for desperate tries
Feeling asleep still hoping to die
Never real, but always alive
Never bad, but always a crime
Chiming the rhymes of evil
Slides off the tongue perceiving
Fires burn the homes
Screeching iron melting down
Reaching into hollow grounds
Spinning, churning, twisting round
Molten lava leaking out
The creaking shack is splintered, brown
No sneaking in without a sound
The bleak still ring it sings resound
Trapped inside with screams and shouts
Rotted corpses stand about
Mules and horses on propaganda routs
Burnt alive behind the eyes
To all the rest I stand here fine

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Detach

Realize your Inner Monologue (Commenting Inner Voice) and your Conscious Mind (Perception, Awareness) are two different entities co-existing.
You are only your awareness.
To Listen is for the Conscious Mind to focus and the Inner Monologue to remain silent and without judgment.
Thus the floodgates of Perception and Information open.
Limitless Intellect.
Infinite Understanding.

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Aged Identity

In an Identity based atmosphere we see a struggle between the new and old
We feel the need to expose who we are to everyone
Voices unheard, just to discover our identity was never what we thought it was
This philosophical thought explains the idea.

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The end of our ignorance dissolves with age
We learn from mistakes
Memories are always the bad ones because they hold the lessons
There is never an ultimately perfect version of ourselves to get to
We are always just better than we were, be it in one direction or another
Sharing what we’ve learned might help someone else understand what they must do
But it is the job of no one to fix all the broken in the world
Only the broken can fix themselves through the lessons in their mistakes
We have to accept mistakes as our fault for any of this to be possible in the first place
We have to be willing to change things we believe make up our identity to fix ourselves
We grow from young to obsess over our identity
We grow to old to pick the things which don’t belong there anyway

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Backwards

 

I’m an Extrovert living an Introverted life.
I’m a polygamist in a monogamous relationship.
I’m a rude guy being nice to those around me.
I’m blunt candy coding shit for emotional disasters.
I’m honest while deceiving others for family and friends.
I’m a creator surrounded by people with no input.
I’m a polymath around people with nothing to teach.
I’m a logician dealing only with the opinions of individuals.
I’m the free spirit caught in a computer system.
I’m in love with self-improvement facing self-destruction.
I’m standing on the edge of a cliff that I don’t seem to fall from.

And they tell me I’m the one not trying to hold on.
They tell me I’m the one not making sense.
They tell I’m the one that needs to change.

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