Why?

Feeling closed inside but unable to stop the strive.
This lyrical poem shows Jack’s fight and what he might do given the try.

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Do I feel weak?

Is it I refuse to speak of how my thoughts are bleak
Shriek inside, seek relief, heart dry dead mounted on a cross, I’m so fucking lost
But I refuse to think ‘cause I’ll sink into a slump and shrink
Lumps stuck in my throat, I’ll begin to choke, start feeling cold
Reckless and out of control but I won’t let go ‘cause there’s no telling where this car’ll go
It’s nowhere any of us would want to know
Obsessed with little regrets, don’t believe in hope
Lie to myself, “I’m the best,” “Not a mess,” “I can do this, though.”
Infest my mind with screaming voices testing me
Deafening noises
Definite poison
Stay poised when the moment is pointing three fingers back as I fade to black
In the middle of a heart attack that…

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Backwards

 

I’m an Extrovert living an Introverted life.
I’m a polygamist in a monogamous relationship.
I’m a rude guy being nice to those around me.
I’m blunt candy coding shit for emotional disasters.
I’m honest while deceiving others for family and friends.
I’m a creator surrounded by people with no input.
I’m a polymath around people with nothing to teach.
I’m a logician dealing only with the opinions of individuals.
I’m the free spirit caught in a computer system.
I’m in love with self-improvement facing self-destruction.
I’m standing on the edge of a cliff that I don’t seem to fall from.

And they tell me I’m the one not trying to hold on.
They tell me I’m the one not making sense.
They tell I’m the one that needs to change.

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