Why?

337/365

Feeling closed inside but unable to stop the strive.
This lyrical poem shows Jack’s fight and what he might do given the try.

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Do I feel weak?

Is it I refuse to speak of how my thoughts are bleak
Shriek inside, seek relief, heart dry dead mounted on a cross, I’m so fucking lost
But I refuse to think ‘cause I’ll sink into a slump and shrink
Lumps stuck in my throat, I’ll begin to choke, start feeling cold
Reckless and out of control but I won’t let go ‘cause there’s no telling where this car’ll go
It’s nowhere any of us would want to know
Obsessed with little regrets, don’t believe in hope
Lie to myself, “I’m the best,” “Not a mess,” “I can do this, though.”
Infest my mind with screaming voices testing me
Deafening noises
Definite poison
Stay poised when the moment is pointing three fingers back as I fade to black
In the middle of a heart attack that I claim to lack
It begets the question…

Am I an addict?
I can’t help but find myself back at it
Surrounded by paper covered in ink
Symbols and dark things, black magic
Opened like a book, cage bird sings but the words crumble
Tossed like those thoughts I refuse to think, comes off as humble
On the brink of breaking
And I just don’t want
But I won’t stop
‘Cause I have to walk through that door, catch what I want
I won’t not have taken the shot, when I do I’ll want more
Chase it like a fiend or killer down the narrow corridor thinking nice things come after the fix
But it’s gotta be broken before I approach
Tunnel vision, I won’t be missing, leave the competition while on the mission
I’ve placed my position from moment to moment, no intermission
Tactical precision with incisions, my life, I own it
I have to make it, I going to take it, it’s mine, that’s your mistake
No time to blink, No time to wait
Short race to sit around and not do shit
The clock is ticking, time to think quick
No time to stop, No time to quit
Scratch the itch while wrecking things
Don’t give a shit so my belly full
‘Cause I’m not a fool
’Cause I do the work
’I do the due
Your problems to me come number two
They’re second place, who the fuck are you?
If its I or you, Won’t be playing games
So I ask questions

Should I try to convey what goes on in my brain?
They won’t understand even if It goes said
Glide over their heads
Breath wasted
I have to destroy, remake it
Redesign the food on the plate
I know I’m fucking great
I show my work ever damn day
Every damn way
Cutting my own path
And I won’t have a bunch of fucking fakers trying to fake that
They can’t take all that I’ve made
I can recreate anything that I make a million different ways
That’s what makes me dangerous
And I mean it’s dangerous to play with this
Don’t stand in my way
Yeah, it’s like that
You can step back
Some advice
Don’t roll the dice when it involves my life
I don’t play nice
I’m that motherfucker with a sharp bite
Like a shark might take a life just to save mine
Won’t think twice
Shit I won’t even bother trying to deny
I don’t candy code
Stay bold until the day I go