My finger tips touch the walls of my cage and I whisper, “Madness is like gripping a railing on a spiraling staircase knowing it doesn’t have a platform on either end”.
“Baby, what do you mean by that?” My husband startles me while pushing past the door to my side.
A voice whispers, “Distract him” and so I do.
“Oh my love, you’re back! I was just playing with words. You know me.” I embrace him and he’s distracted.
“Look what you’ve done with this room, it’s beautiful” he exclaims…. “Your nurse is so kind to you and look at all these gifts your family sent for the occasion”.
I bow my head and smile half heartedly. I’m trying and he’s so kind.
He squeezes my hand, he’s so soft and warm I could cry. Tears form in the corner of my eyes. I squeeze back. Touching him has been the only thing that still reminds me of the life of love that I led.
/If you could hold me long enough perhaps I wouldn’t feel so hollow as I do now./
“Baby, sweetheart … talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Another voice whispers, “Try harder”
“Nothing, my dear. I’m just so happy you’re here. I’ve been feeling better, I promise. It’s so good to see you, truly.”
A brief pause between us and the silence is filled with the wind chimes. Their melody reminds me that it’s time.
“Could you take me to the window?” I ask.
“Of course, baby girl. I can’t stay long though. It’s going to be beautiful soon please say you’ll consider going for a walk tomorrow?”
“ I’ll think about it”, I say with a smile that provides him comfort.
He leads me to the top floor of our home to my favorite window. The nurse has given him strict rules but I’ve loved him long enough to know that he wouldn’t follow them.
“Sweetheart, you’re so cold. The warmth outside will do you good.”
/If I could feel the wind upon my skin then maybe it’s strong enough to whisk me away./
He leads me down the hall to the staircase and we follow the turns all the way up to our spot. The window is as tall as us because it isn’t a window at all.
“Do you have the key?” I ask peering up at him.
“Of course I do” he says and I can see the hesitation in his eyes.
He takes the key and turns the window into a door that leads to a balcony. The breeze rushes through and the wind chimes echo around us.
I’m holding his hand and I close my eyes, “Thank you”.
“Silly girl, there’s no need to thank me”
He chuckles, peers down at his watch and I know that he has to go.
Before departing he kisses me on the forehead and says to me, “Tomorrow my love, I’ll be back tomorrow”. He’s supposed to return me to my room but I know he forgets. He’s always so busy.
Before he leaves I turn back to look at him. He’s leaning against the door frame. The sunset has just begun and the rays touch his hair. He’s smiling at me with the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen.
The wind chimes are deafening to me now but I make sure my voice is soft enough for him not to suspect a thing. “I love you” and I mean it with every piece of my heart.
He pauses and stares at me, “I love you more” and just like that he’s on his heels, making his way down the hall.
I lose sight of him around the corner but I close my eyes to preserve his image before turning back to the open door. The breeze beckons me again and so I graciously step out onto the balcony and grip the railing one last time.
/No one believed me that I have these wings but that doesn’t make me any less ready to fly./
By Taylor Amber Rose
From United States