The Gifts of Grieving

Grieving is not something any of us look forward to. But, the gifts contained in the experience of grieving are rich with opportunities for healing.

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Let's admit it. None of us like to grieve. It is not something we ask for. It is not something we look forward to. It is not something we hope for.

But, grieving is a reality of life.

I had a dear friend who told me years ago something that I will never forget. He told me that there was something he wanted to tell me that would at first be very upsetting, but would later be a tremendous comfort to me. He said "John, everything and everyone in your life will eventually leave. Either you will leave, or they will leave. But, the good news is that you will always have a relationship with your Creator, and you will always have a relationship with yourself."

Of course, this did not seem like good news to me. But, upon later reflection this did come as great comfort to me. The fact that regardless of who comes in and out of my life that I will always have me, and I will always have a relationship with my Creator. Knowing that ultimately I will never be alone is a tremendous comfort, especially in times of loss.

On January 10, my uncle Nick died. He was an amazing man, and somebody I looked up to. I will miss him.

The lessons I'm learning this week about this change and loss bring up some very basic truths that I am aware of. I want to share some with you in hopes of giving you comfort in times of change in your life.

Every ending is a new beginning. This means that this change in venue for my spiritual home is a chance for very exciting and new opportunities. What those opportunities are I don't know yet. But, my experience with other losses in my life have taught me that unless I'm willing to let go of the old I cannot begin to embrace any new opportunities.

Here is another truth that I understand. The universe does not deal with vacuums very well. When I let go of something, something else will replace it. It is the void that is so scary sometimes to deal with especially after a painful loss such as a loved one dying. The void will be filled by something. And, I do know that if I fully embrace my pain the healing energy of my Creator will fill that void.

Loss reminds me of another powerful truth. When I am fully grieving it is because I got attached. I loved. I cared. I became connected with either a person I cared about, a cause I believed in, or a place that had emotional significance for me. If I didn't love or get attached I would not be grieving. This grief that I feel is evidence that I fully engaged. It is evidence that I showed up. It is proof that I can connect with others in a meaningful way. It the universe's way of reminding me that relationships with others matter to me. The more powerful the connection the more powerful the grieving will be.

Grieving is not something to be scared of. It is something to be embraced. It is not fun. But, what I can tell you is that it is made a lot less painful when I surround myself with loving friends and family. And, I choose to take the risk to love. The benefits of attachment and being loved far outweigh the painful truth that someday I will lose once again.

In the end I have myself. And, I have the love of my Creator. Those relationships I will never have to grieve the loss of.

By John C. Davis

From: United States

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