I Play a Part in This Drama of Life, and the Struggle to Own it
/When you are willing to engage with the struggle of letting go while being empowered to change what you can, you will find a peace that no illusion of control will ever bring you.
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The question came to my mind this morning. I’m sure it has come to yours.
When will our lives get back to normal?
In that moment I was reminded that I have control issues. I want someone to tell me how it’s going to progress, how I can protect myself against the coronavirus, and when my life will get back to normal?
Here is my truth.
I have no interest in my life being exactly the way it was. OK. Let’s be honest John. I want a lot of it back.
But like many of us who are sitting at home right now, I am in conflict.
I want my life back the way it was, but I don’t want the hectic non-stop schedule that I had before. I want balance.
Something beautiful happens when we can admit that we are not in control of what happens in the outside world. It takes the pressure off our insistence on taking responsibility for things that are not ours to take. There is an unloading of a burden that we have taken on. Many of us even believe that we will be rewarded for our heroism.
Let me be clear.
There is nothing wrong with wanting things. There is nothing wrong with striving for our goals. It is painful to have to let go of the things that we are letting go of right now.
Many people are letting go of jobs, homes, and even dear loved ones.
It’s difficult and it’s painful. It’s going to be painful for a while I’m afraid.
Wanting things and desiring things is not the same as taking responsibility for things outside of our control.
I’m wrestling with how responsible I am for coronavirus being in the world. I wrestle with my part in our environment being weak. I wrestle with my part in the systemic racism in our world that creates income disparity, thereby making it difficult for certain populations to get the help they need.
Therefore, I’m writing this article.
I’m writing this because I think that I have no control over what is happening in the world right now, but I want to own my part.
What will I do with this knowledge that I have unwittingly been part of creating this terrible situation?
I don’t know yet. It is the revelation of this that prompted me to write today.
In my spiritual practice, I honor a spiritual law called the law of attraction. My interpretation of this law is that I attract what I am ready to learn.
In this situation with coronavirus, I am learning the peaceful art of letting go of outcomes. I am also learning the art of letting go of guilt for having caused this situation.
I am also letting go of blaming others. I am learning to take responsibility for my part without being too hard on myself.
This is not easy. It’s not easy to balance the need to let go and the need to accept my role in it.
Today, the best I can do is be good to myself by taking care of my health and by supporting others who are struggling.
I don’t have the answers, because the answers aren’t easy.
I don’t pretend to know. I am sometimes a walking contradiction. I accept that.
My hope is that you can accept what you cannot change, and that you can be kind and loving towards yourself.
When you are willing to engage with the struggle of letting go while being empowered to change what you can, you will find a peace that no illusion of control will ever bring you.
By John Davis
From: United States
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