Forgiveness Leads to Healing

Regretting our past leads to frustration. When we can forgive ourselves for our past behavior, we will begin to heal. We were doing the best we could in the moment. It is time for us to heal.

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Today is my birthday. It's not a milestone birthday, but it still counts. As for all of us, birthdays present an opportunity to look at our lives, and see how we are doing. It also provides an opportunity for healing. 

Yes, the birthday is just another day. Nothing really happens differently on my birthday than it does on any other day. I wake up, shower, eat breakfast, and then go to work. Same as other days. But, if I allow myself the gift of time and awareness I can use this day as a way to really do some healing work.

For many years (and for many reasons) my birthdays were not something that I celebrated very much. Maybe outwardly I looked good to other people, but inside I didn't feel like there was a lot to celebrate. I had to do a lot of work to get out of that mindset of not celebrating.

Time has passed. Healing has occurred. Now I look back at my life, and I see that so many years of my life were indeed spent in needless suffering. Or was it needless?

 This is where I begin my journey here to explore this idea of forgiveness. Because, forgiveness really is a key to my celebrating my present birthday. This idea of forgiveness opens the door to the reality that everything was and is happening at exactly the right time and place. If something was supposed to happen differently it absolutely would be. It does not mean that I have to like what is happening. In fact sometimes what is happening really stinks. Sometimes what is happening is horrible. And, when I say there is a reason for things it does not mean that I condone, approve, or agree. In fact, there are many things that are happening in the world that I completely disagree with and I think are terrible. So, when I say there is a reason for things happening it is just a recognition that there is some kind of Power in the universe that is allowing things. Now, we could go even deeper and ask the question about why a loving Power of the universe would allow horrible things to happen. Let me be frank. It is beyond my capability to understand why horrible things happen. I'm not trying to understand that here. But, I am trying to say that I believe there is a reason for them.

Working with this idea of forgiveness does make room for some acceptance of things being exactly as they were meant to be. And, I want to somehow steer this back to my life. This acceptance of things being the way they are supposed to be, and forgiveness for my past actions really has a way of engaging me in that healing power that can move me forward in my life.

Can you imagine if your younger self was able to see how their actions would affect you in your current life today? Would that younger self do anything differently? Would it have changed its behavior, because of knowing the future consequences of such actions? Maybe yes. Maybe no. I think it's hard to know. For me, I know that I could not have made a better decision. I honestly believe that I was doing the best I could at the time. Many times they were terrible decisions I was making, but I still believe I was doing the best I could.

Again, I circle back to forgiveness. This knowing that I was doing the best I could offers me this vantage point to look back with a bit of compassion. Compassion really is the anecdote to all of this. It is a loving act to see my past actions as the best attempts I possibly could have made. Once again, I don't have to agree, like, or approve with any of them. But, I can at least acknowledge that I was trying. And, even if I wasn't trying to do the right thing there was a good reason for that too.

We are truly a mix of emotions. There is no perfect solution to any of this healing work. It just takes time. And, my birthday is a perfect time for me to look back and forgive myself for the many mistakes I have made. I choose this path of forgiveness, because I really do like the current version of me better than I have liked any other version of me. This is how any of those move forward. We look at the past and say we did the best we could, and then we try to be a little more loving towards ourselves and others today. Life is not perfect. Neither are we. But, love for ourselves will heal us if we allow it to.

By John Davis

From: United States

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