Rambling 201: Google's Animals
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Which animals are the largest? What are their predators? Are any animals born intelligent enough to find food and evade predators instantly without the guidance from their parents? The duo decide to find the answers to this question in a Google search filled frenzy. The king of the mammals is both obvious and unexpected when they finally discover what is the most dangerous of all creatures!
+Episode Details
- Animal Intelligence
- Pack Animals
- Hippos
- Snakes
- Sharks
- Animal Instincts
- Parenting
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+Transcript
Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean?
Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I'm your host, Jack.
Cristina: And I'm Christina.
Jack: And this is the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas.
Cristina: Do you have any baffling ideas?
Jack: well, ideas in general are baffling. Thinking is a complicated process that comes through the evolutionary process of, I don't know, I guess neurons. No, I would. That's a really interesting question. Right, like, because thinking itself is kind of a mind f***. It's a psychedelic experience or something. Like, do creatures think? I know they have processing, but it's a lot of autopilot s*** going on too.
Cristina: Are you talking about animals?
Jack: Creatures in general?
Cristina: Even humans? Well, okay. I mean most of them we know fact.
Jack: I mean, I guess at least I know I can think.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: When I say creatures, I definitely do mean other than I.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Because I'm under the impression I can think.
Cristina: But you're also in autopilot.
Jack: Sometimes I think everything has a little bit of autopilot, but I think animals in general, other creatures in general have autopilot. Like I don't think an insect is really giving it surrounding many thoughts. No, I mean there's a lot of autopilot going on.
Cristina: Yeah. I Wonder how much percent of it is autopilot. How much percent of what it's thinking is autopilot?
Jack: Probably 100% of it.
Cristina: 100%?
Jack: Yeah, there's lit like think of an ant. It's literally hive mentality. It has no sense of identity. It's just part of a bigger thing and its entire being is to support this bigger thing. No sense of self preservation or anything, it's just the Borg.
Cristina: Does the queen at least have mind of its own or is she also an autopilot like them? Like she's doing what her role tells her what to do or whatever.
Jack: Well, my experience as an ant keeper has taught me that the queen is a very overpowered, high thinking individual. She has all the thoughts.
Cristina: So a lot like the queen of Or.
Jack: Yeah, she has all the thinking going on and all the. All the insignificant ants don't think at all. She sends her messages and they're like yes or not even. Yes. They just do it. She waves her hand and they then.
Cristina: Are they better than the Porg because the Borg, they want to get away from the queen?
Jack: No, it's when you get that bug thrown into the system and they then get like identity and individuality.
Cristina: Okay. So they're not. There's not individuality unless something bad happens. A bug. Okay, yeah.
Jack: It was like a virus or something that attacked the board. Right, Because Picard is a savage.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: He was like, send this kid back with a sense of self. Let's destroy this from the inside out.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Yeah. Because once the board gets choose, they don't want to be with the queen anymore. That would suck.
Jack: That makes sense. Right?
Cristina: That makes sense.
Jack: A bit overpowered.
Cristina: Are there any other animals that work like that? Like they just have one. Oh, yeah. Queen bee. Okay. So is the queen. There's gotta be other examples though.
Jack: I mean, herds have a very similar thing going on. Like giant pack animals.
Cristina: But they don't have a leader, do they? I mean, I guess whoever's in the front of the herd.
Jack: No, I'm pretty sure just enough of them start running and there's a survival thing that kicks in that they're like. That's probably what the rest of us should be doing.
Cristina: Ah, okay.
Jack: Like, are they running from something? Let's all run from whatever thing they're running from. Or are they running towards something? Let's all run. Whatever they run, they know something we don't. Yeah, I guess that's the ultimate thought. They know something we don't.
Cristina: Yeah. And birds, are they like that? Because there's always a bunch.
Jack: Fascinating. This is a really interesting visual. Right. So birds in the sky because wings and whatnot. But they move in a weird sync. Like they all tune into this thing and they instantly know. They all instantly know how to move.
Cristina: But is it because the wind or is it they're actually working together?
Jack: No, when they're doing like weird patterns in the sky, how do they all suddenly turn at the same time? Yeah, that's weird. Unless there is a leader and it's happening so fraction of a second that it looks instantaneous to us, but it's like a domino effect that's happening too quick for us to notice. And there is one doing it first, but they're in the sky. It has to all be like split second decision making.
Cristina: Yeah. Maybe more like herds who are worried. Like they're just going because they see everyone else going.
Jack: Well, I don't think it would be worried though. There has to be some other motivation because they're just hanging out in the sky doing tricks or whatever crap is happening.
Cristina: What is happening? Like, what benefit is that? Is that exercise?
Jack: I don't know. Because your school of fish do the same thing a lot of times. Yes. They'll move Away from danger, but also when there's no danger, they're still kind of doing things.
Cristina: Are they eating, though? Is that them eating?
Jack: I guess fish are. Then what's the excuse for bird?
Cristina: No idea. They're battling some creature that we don't know about in the sky.
Jack: All of them?
Cristina: Yeah. Or the wind. They're playing with the wind.
Jack: They're playing with the wind?
Cristina: Yeah. We don't know how that works.
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: The wind is petting them.
Jack: Could be.
Cristina: That's interesting. Yeah. It's a lot like the fish. The birds in the sky are a lot like the fish in the water moving that weird way.
Jack: Yeah. There is definitely a thing happening where they're kind of like all in sync. I don't know why. It is weird that they do it. And I guess a lot of animals do that. But then what about the solitary animals? What the f***? Like, if there was no. They would just fight each other. Like, wild cats aren't gonna move all in sync, and lions don't move all in sync. No, but like, a. A bunch of horses are already kind of doing their thing. You spook them, boom, they're all one suddenly.
Cristina: Yeah, horses like zebras.
Jack: I guess that's kind of a horse too.
Cristina: Deers. Are they, like.
Jack: No, actually. That's an interesting one. Deer don't pack, run in the same direction under the same logic. They'll just scatter in random directions if they have to.
Cristina: What?
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: They're breaking the pattern of other animals.
Jack: Yeah, but so is, like, the wild cats, like I just said.
Cristina: Well, that's different. Being the hunter and being the hunty are two different things.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: Because the hunter likes to be those cats, I guess. Like to be alone. A lot of cats.
Jack: All right, so there's a pack of bison. Who's f****** with, like, a herd of bison? Nobody. Nobody's f****** with a herd with bison. But they're still gonna run together, I guess. You mean more carnivore versus herbivore?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Like, herbivores will do, like, their own thing. Then why are deer doing their own thing? Doesn't. Doesn't work.
Cristina: Yeah. I don't know what's going on with the deers, but they must. Is that right? I don't know. That's weird.
Jack: Yeah, they just kind of do random s***. Deer weird.
Cristina: Deer weird. But most even big animals that are veggies eaters are. They're in packs, like giraffes and elephants, I think.
Jack: Not in herds, though.
Cristina: Not in herds.
Jack: There isn't like a herd of giraffes.
Cristina: Oh, there's a family of giraffes.
Jack: Yeah, it's probably a family of giraffes. Maybe some cousins, some friends, but not, like a herd. Oh, there aren't thousands of giraffes hanging all together.
Cristina: That's crazy. They couldn't survive like that if they're all eating the same thing.
Jack: What's hunting a giraffe in the first place, you know? Like, is it even a creature of that nature?
Cristina: I imagine a lion.
Jack: You think a lion. You think something is messing with giraffes to begin with?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: Because they're probably easy to. They seem like they might be a clumsy and slow enough creature. Are they fast? I don't think they're that fast for a lion.
Jack: I mean, like, would the lion go out of his way to eat a giraffe?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: They would probably try to eat a hippo, and that doesn't make sense.
Jack: A lion?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: I don't think a lion tries to eat a hippo.
Cristina: An alligator would try to eat a hippo. I think there's some animals that will try, even if it's dumb to eat a hippo. I don't think any animal hunts hippo. Not that they could eat the hippo, but at least get after that hippo.
Jack: Okay, so lions, hyenas, and leopards all hunt giraffes.
Cristina: Mm. That makes sense. See, hyenas are pet creatures. I don't care.
Jack: Hyenas don't give a s***.
Cristina: Yeah, size does not matter. The hyena probably goes after that hippo, too. Not that it's successful, but it probably does try. You don't think a hyena would try.
Jack: To attack a hippo?
Cristina: Yeah. Tell me. Nothing hunts a hippo. I imagine something does.
Jack: Holy crap. Yeah. Hyenas go after hippos?
Cristina: Yeah, man. Hyenas don't give a s*** what else hunts a hippo. Or is that it? It's the hippo.
Jack: No, what's funny is that hyenas are more capable of hunting these things down because they work in packs, as opposed to lions that are usually alone. This is the logic of the wolves, Right? The wolves are some f****** problem because strategy is a m***********. This is where the dogs have advantage over the cats.
Cristina: Right, But I thought lions are, like, the only cats that do work together.
Jack: No, they're usually alone. Usually there's one out there hunting brings the food back.
Cristina: Oh, what?
Jack: Yeah, I mean, there could be multiple together, but that's not the common.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: Commonly, one goes out, brings the food back. In.
Cristina: Okay, but when it comes to hyenas, they're just eating anything.
Jack: Well, sure, but the point is that hyenas move in packs.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: This is the whole dog thing. That makes dogs very different at hunting than cats. Now there's less food to go around overall. Yeah. You hunt the Hepple, but there's like seven of you.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So like lion hunts a hippo. If it got the hippo. There's a lion and a hippo. Okay, you win.
Cristina: Yeah. I'm imagining they're eating baby hippos. Like, it's not a. Or an injured hippo.
Jack: I believe in. I believe in all of these cases, it's the baby.
Cristina: It's the baby. Yeah. Like that's the easiest. Like a baby elephant or something.
Jack: Yeah. A pack of hyenas would be hard pressed to take an adult hipple down like that. That's not. Doesn't sound fun or easy.
Cristina: What other animals hunt hippos? There has to be more. Can't imagine the hyena is the only animal. But it's possible. Hippos are a tough, tough animal to take down.
Jack: Hippos, one of the hardest animals to take down. So a hippo will usually be attacked by crocodiles, lions, and spotted hyenas.
Cristina: Okay, I was interested.
Jack: But all the young hippos, only babies.
Cristina: Okay. Just babies. The only thing that messes with adult hippo is probably another adult hippo.
Jack: Adult hippos are not usually preyed upon by other animals due to their aggression and size.
Cristina: Nah, they're the ones eating other animals just for fun.
Jack: Yeah. Cases where large lion prides have successfully preyed on adult hippos have been reported, but that's generally rare.
Cristina: Okay. So a pack of lions can do it.
Jack: Yeah. Now just normally hunting lion can't. A lion has to jump into dog behavior and be like, yo, we need to. We're the most powerful s*** out here. We still need to team up.
Cristina: Yeah. Okay.
Jack: Because f*** adult hippos.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: We go after it and it's just gonna eat us. It doesn't even get nutrients from us. It's just gonna eat us.
Cristina: That is so scary.
Jack: Yeah, it's a monster. The real life monster of the human world. Of the human world, of the like, of the mortal world.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Is the hippo hippo. It's a demon, bro.
Cristina: Yes. It's what demons are based off of.
Jack: Yeah, some s***. It's demon. And it's a water pig, essentially. Right. It's like they're related or some s***. We've. I remember, like recently, maybe like. Like 20 episodes ago or some s***, we, like, ran across the fact that a pig is a hippo. It's just a tiny hippo.
Cristina: Pigs can get really big. But I don't know, what's the biggest hippo size? I mean, what's the biggest pig size?
Jack: The largest? It's pretty big.
Cristina: It's pretty big. But it would be nice to know, like, compared to a hippo, to, I guess, imagine. What would one pig standing, one wild pig, I guess, next to a pig hippo look like?
Jack: What would one wild. Oh, crap. I guess it could look like a hippo. Yeah.
Cristina: What?
Jack: That's pretty ginormous.
Cristina: It's pretty ginormous.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: You don't know how big, though.
Jack: It's way bigger than a person.
Cristina: Oh. Oh, my gosh.
Jack: It's the size of a hippo.
Cristina: Oh, that's crazy. Okay, that's scary. And we eat that. Yeah.
Jack: Yeah. Holy s***. What the f*** am I looking at? This is huge.
Cristina: What is it a pig?
Jack: Yeah, it's a huge pig. Okay, that's what I'm looking at. Look at that.
Cristina: That is scary.
Jack: Yeah, that's essentially a giant. Not even giant. That's just a hippo. Okay, I guess. I guess that's the real question because we're looking at the biggest pig. So I guess the real question is how large is the largest hippo? No, I guess that's still more or less the same size.
Cristina: Well, how. How large is it?
Jack: About the size of that pig.
Cristina: Because this pig says length 8 to 7 to 8ft. Height 3 to 4ft, or 3.7 to 4.7 and then 600 to 1,000 pounds. I feel like the hippo still has to be pretty big.
Jack: Like it has way more weight.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: All right, all right, all right. What? Okay, what was this? Were the specs on that pig?
Cristina: It was seven feet. No, sorry. Seven to eight feet.
Jack: Okay, so seven to eight feet long.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Oh, God. So 10ft to 17ft.
Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Height.
Jack: What height do you have?
Cristina: 3.7 to 4.7.
Jack: Okay, 4.3 to 5.4. So just them normal height is like about the size of an average sized female human.
Cristina: Oh, my gosh. And pounds six hundred to a thousand.
Jack: Oh, man. 3,300 to 4,000. Never mind. A hippo will body a pig so effortlessly.
Cristina: Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Holy crap. 17ft. Dude, what are we talking about anymore? That's absurdly large.
Cristina: But as large as a rhino. I feel like rhinos are probably the same size.
Jack: Rhinos and hippos are like in the same ballpark?
Cristina: Yes. I don't know. See, height, 5.6 to 6 point. Let's say 6.3.
Jack: Okay, so they're taller in height than a hippo. What about lengthwise?
Cristina: Length does not say. Give me the length. What's your question again? Length.
Jack: The length of a hippo.
Cristina: You mean rhino?
Jack: Oh, yeah, of rhino.
Cristina: Give me the length of. We have. Has the length of 7ft 10 inches to 10ft 6 inches.
Jack: No, get body. A 17 foot hippo will body that thing.
Cristina: Oh, 2,000 pounds.
Jack: 3,300 to 4,000.
Cristina: Oh, it's 2,200. Oh, okay. The hippo's still in it by miles.
Jack: Well, I'm just confused as to how something could be so freaking large. This info has to be wrong, right?
Cristina: Sure. Elephants bigger still. That'd be crazy.
Jack: I mean, yeah, elephant is the largest land creature.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: But I don't think it's longer. I'm just confused about this length. This can't be right. I refuse to believe a hippo could really, truly, honestly be 17 freaking feet long.
Cristina: 17. Oh my God.
Jack: It's such an absurd length.
Cristina: That is 17. They're long boys.
Jack: They're long boys. 17ft is so freaking excessive, man. Makes you really wonder.
Cristina: It's kind of a hot dog.
Jack: It's gonna have a hot dog.
Cristina: It's a hot dog. It is a hot dog. Although elephants are like 18 to 21ft.
Jack: Yeah, but like Jesus Christ. But I. Yeah, this is nowhere near 17ft.
Cristina: No, the one that. That one.
Jack: Oh my God.
Cristina: It's so freaking huge.
Jack: Oh, God. That one.
Cristina: That one might be.
Jack: Is so crazy looking. I guess. They are so long. They're the wiener elephants.
Cristina: They're long.
Jack: They're wiener elephants.
Cristina: Elephants are long, but they look more proportionate.
Jack: Dude, who the h*** just has a pet hippo?
Cristina: I hope no one. I hope no one. Is this a video of someone with pet hippos?
Jack: I don't know, but that guy just like tapped the mouth of that hippo. That is a long f****** hippo though. But if somebody were to lay down next to it, I'm sure that hippo is like in the lower range. It's like nine feet at most. Doesn't look like seven. 17ft is crazy. That can't be right. That cannot be right. That cannot be right. It's so long. 17ft is three humans stacked end to end.
Cristina: That it. Maybe that's just like the most. The largest hippo they found.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the most exaggerated hippo ever recorded. That's totally A possibility. Because that's nuts. I just. I don't know. It's just nuts. Oh, my God. The largest hippo ever was 16 foot.
Cristina: 16 tall or still.
Jack: No, that would be nuts. You know how the problem that a 16 foot tall Pippa would be the length of that would be like five houses. Sixteen foot is like a two story building.
Cristina: Once upon a time.
Jack: Ancient hippos of the past.
Cristina: Yeah. Dinosaur hippo. 16ft long, not 17ft long.
Jack: That's not like much of a difference. No, they probably rounded to 17 because like 16.5 or something, you know?
Cristina: Yeah. So ridiculous.
Jack: But like, I need this. I need to see it there. Hat man. How the h*** are you 16ft? Like, who the h*** is f****** with you, bro? You had that. That's a giant hippo. I had to dive a heart attack, right?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: There's nothing else. He had to dive a heart attack. There's no other option.
Cristina: It's so crazy looking.
Jack: So this is Don, the largest hippo king showing his dominance in the water.
Cristina: It's hard to tell how big he is.
Jack: It is very hard to tell. Let's see if there's some volume to this. Come on. You can't hear him in the water.
Cristina: It's kind of scary. A lot of animals make some horrifying sounds.
Jack: I wonder how they're deciding to measure this though. And here's the problem, dude. How fast a hippo moves in the water is also like a huge issue.
Cristina: How fast it is.
Jack: Yeah. Hippos are crazy fast on land and on in the water. It is such an unnecessary creature. A hippo. 19 miles per hour. No human ever is outrunning that. For contrast.
Cristina: What are we gonna look up? The human? The elephant. I saw an elephant suit being compared to a hippo 13ft in length. This is the seal one for contrast.
Jack: Humans can max out at 8 miles per hour.
Cristina: Running or swimming?
Jack: Running.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: And definitely slower swimming. And the Hippo can clear 19. It is twice as. Actually more than twice as fast as any human. As the fastest human probably. It's more than twice as fast as the fastest human.
Cristina: Do you think us swimming is way slower?
Jack: Has to be 5 miles per hour underwater. Oof.
Cristina: Oh, okay. We're not surviving either way.
Jack: There's just no way, man. It couldn't be okay. No. It would be scary. It would be scary. So the fastest human in all of history clears 5 miles per hour. They would be an even match for an average hippo. What average human in the water clears like 2 miles per hour. Still less than half the speed of the average hippo.
Cristina: I think we got a movie there like Jaws, but with a hippo. What?
Jack: Except it'll just follow you out of the water and then suddenly get even faster.
Cristina: That's even scarier. They have alligator horror movies. Why isn't there a hippo one?
Jack: I don't know. I guess the round fatness kind of kills it. It's not like a scary jagged creature.
Cristina: No. Unless it's eating you. It's. It becomes more scary, I guess. Yeah, but you have to be in that situation. I guess watching it isn't as scary. Such a pudgy looking creature.
Jack: Yeah, it is like a. It's just an awkward creature. Really is. But it's so freaking dangerous.
Cristina: But it's so awkward. It's huge. It's heavy looking. It has the biggest looking stomach ever. I don't understand how it's the more.
Jack: To put food away with.
Cristina: How is it so fast with all its weight though?
Jack: That is an interesting question. I don't know, it's just everything is designed to s*** on a human. That's why we have to develop overpowered brains.
Cristina: Okay. Humongous.
Jack: Without a doubt, the human is the smartest creature on earth. At least on land.
Cristina: Mm. Dolphins being the smartest. No. I don't know. Is the dolphins smartest?
Jack: I believe so, yeah.
Cristina: Dolphins, okay.
Jack: Dolphins dominate the oceans, humans dominate the land. And like birds are generally speaking dumb as opposed to these two other comparisons.
Cristina: Oh, even the smartest bird though, it depends.
Jack: What's the smartest bird?
Cristina: Like a raven? No, there's a big bird, isn't there? That's pretty smart.
Jack: Raven. Yeah. Ravens are way up there. Okay, but then that's my point. So like a raven next to like a raven is definitely highly intelligent. But are we saying that it's like dominating its environment? Like non eagle. That's retarded. Will beat the s*** out of a raven effortlessly.
Cristina: Yeah, but they're like smart compared to a child, right? Like you put their intelligence next to a human.
Jack: Oh, yeah, probably. You gotta understand, human babies are dumb, okay? Human babies are the most useless of all like creatures. They're really, really, really down the pole because there's nothing physical that allows this thing to survive. I guess. No, fair enough. Birds are kind of s*****. Like. Like humans.
Cristina: Yeah. When they're babies.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually other creature mammals tend to be hardcore. Except the domesticated ones.
Cristina: What about like kangaroo babies? Those can't do anything.
Jack: Well, kangaroo babies aren't even born yet. Really? They're just Literally in a womb.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: That's external. Yes, that's what's happening there.
Cristina: They're not really born though.
Jack: Yeah, they're not really born yet. But I'm thinking, like, if there are some mammals that are useless, like, but there's a lot of domesticated useless s***. I wonder if, like a wild lion is instinctively great at what it's doing, you know, it's. At least it could run around. Is that a thing or is it like a house cat that when it has its babies, they're just retarded the way humans are probably.
Cristina: They have to learn how to hunt and everything. They don't know how to do any of that.
Jack: They'll follow their mom. But can they move? Can they avoid predators, is my question.
Cristina: Ooh, probably not.
Jack: Like, even turtle babies get born and immediately run towards the water. They don't necessarily have to make it, but they have that. A human baby will lay there.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: A domesticated puppy will lay there.
Cristina: What? A baby lion.
Jack: Meanwhile, a baby deer can dip.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: You see, it'll be awkward.
Cristina: It will be awkward.
Jack: But it can move. It can try to avoid danger.
Cristina: Okay, it can.
Jack: It knows to be scared, but it.
Cristina: Can'T hunt on its own. Like, if it lost its mom, it's probably dying of starvation if it's not hunted. At least most baby animals, I think. I think when it comes to eating, it's the hardest thing. Even if they can move around quickly, they can run.
Jack: No, I think when it comes to a deer, it would also find its own food. What? Deer is like going to find food and bringing it to its baby?
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: It's not how it works. It just knows.
Cristina: I guess a lot of other animals, though, need the parents bring them things.
Jack: You know what? Funny, I guess. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. There's a. There's a huge trade off happening, Right. Herbivores just kinda. No, carnivores, although way more overpowered as adults. Way underpowered as babies. Yes, babies. So carnivores are more likely to be killed by other carnivores when they're babies.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Than herbivores are when they're babies. Because herbivore babies at least have some motor function to handle their s***.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Because they need to.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: While usually the carnivores are gonna protect their babies, thus making the weaker baby.
Cristina: Yeah. Because they can't hunt on their own. They can't do it. Like, if that baby gets lost, that's it for that baby.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Can't. What's it gonna do?
Jack: But herbivores don't have that issue because.
Cristina: Their food is everywhere.
Jack: Yeah. That's why dogs, even if they're in the house and you feed them crap that they shouldn't naturally eat, that's still technically carnivore. That's why its babies are dumb, because it's a carnivore and carnivores have dumb babies.
Cristina: Dumb babies.
Jack: Yeah. The dumbest babies are all carnivores.
Cristina: Yes. I guess. So. He's even birds. I'm thinking they're carnivores.
Jack: Yeah, they kind of are. And they got dumb babies. If there are herbivore baby birds, maybe they're better.
Cristina: But no, because they also have the disadvantage that their babies can't move. Like, they can move, but they can't fly. Like, if they're in a nest, they're not getting out of that nest until they have the ability to fly.
Jack: Yeah. Also, I don't think there's any herbivore birds.
Jack: Okay. There are a hummingbird.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Does a hummingbird baby know what it's doing?
Cristina: I don't know. Like, it doesn't naturally know.
Jack: How would you figure it out? I feel like a hummingbird would struggle.
Cristina: Yeah. But also, they still have to get to a certain age to be able to fly and everything. Because birds don't just naturally are born and then fly. That's. Hummingbirds are one bird that does. That would be crazy.
Jack: That'd be fascinating. Right? Is it just born and badass?
Cristina: No way.
Jack: It couldn't be. But then that would mean that a hummingbird isn't a hummingbird is probably not really a herbivore. That's an interesting question. Right?
Cristina: Isn't that the one that eats the flowers? What's it called?
Jack: Yeah, the, like, nectar of a flower. Oh, crap. No, they are. They're. They're omnivores. They eat, like, insects and spiders and junk.
Cristina: Ah, okay. They do eat nectar as well. But that's not the only thing they do.
Jack: Yes. The fact that they have any. The fact that they're eating living things immediately makes your baby stupid by default. I don't know why, but if you eat anything that isn't a plant, your babies are dumb. There's a pattern there.
Cristina: No, we don't know if herbivores are. Babies are that smart that they know everything with their food or whatever.
Jack: It would be like, can a. Does a baby deer know? Right.
Cristina: Yeah. They still feel like they have to figure out what's the best plant to eat because they can eat the wrong plant and then die of Food poisoning or something. So they gotta still be taught something. It's not all natural, is it?
Jack: I guess. Yeah. So at about two weeks of age, a fawn will start browsing tender vegetation and learn from its mother what plants it eats.
Cristina: Booyah. Wait, how long? Two weeks. Oh my God.
Jack: S**** on the all. All the other things that eat living things. Crapping on it. Lightning speed.
Cristina: Yeah, but it's not automatic either. There's nothing that just automatically knows what to eat. Maybe fish.
Jack: You think there's. Okay. Screwfish. You don't think there's any mammal that just born knowing?
Cristina: No, no. I think they have to figure it out. There's some learning curve going on. You can't just naturally know. Okay, this is what I eat. Maybe insects, maybe frogs. No, frogs have a whole life cycle thing going on. Yeah, frogs are weird, complicated thing going on.
Jack: Additionally, a frog is not an insect.
Cristina: No, I'm just naming animals.
Jack: But insects are not animals.
Cristina: Whatever.
Jack: And spiders are. Arachnids.
Cristina: Yes. Well, I'm talking about creatures then.
Jack: Living creature just born knowing what to do.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Fish for sure.
Cristina: And spiders for sure. Right.
Jack: Yeah, there's probably. Probably all the insects.
Cristina: All the insects, yeah.
Jack: Yeah. I don't think anybody taught an ant how to go be an ant. I just thought this is kind of. Again, it's automatic behavior.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: If you have. If you're entirely automatic behavior, then you're good to go.
Cristina: Yes, but I guess it's not the same with mammals.
Jack: No, Mammals have a whole learning issue going on. So do birds, for whatever reason.
Cristina: Yes. Yes, they do. Except for like one bird I found that it's not. Well, the parent doesn't baby the babies, I guess is.
Jack: What do you mean? Is this born smart?
Cristina: Yes. Well, I don't know if it's born smart, but the parents, like. You know how all birds usually incubate their babies by sitting on them? Yeah, they don't do that. They build a mound that's like a pit for the eggs to stay warm.
Jack: Yeah, I've heard of that. A couple of birds did that.
Cristina: And this one, the. It's called a megapod. Megapod. Megapod. I hope I'm saying that right. Megapods. Megapods. Have you heard this bird?
Jack: No.
Cristina: It looks like a chicken or a rooster. I'm not sure.
Jack: Foul of some sort.
Cristina: Yeah, yeah, they're cute, but yeah, like, they don't take care of their babies like other birds. Like, most birds sit on their babies. These birds don't. And then their babies fly away after 24 hours.
Jack: After they hatch.
Cristina: Well, they don't fly away. They can fly within 24 hours of hatching.
Jack: Hatching, yes.
Cristina: I'm not. I don't know if they can fly away and then just disappear.
Jack: That's pretty hardcore. So that's a super bird.
Cristina: Yeah, and. Yeah, that's why.
Jack: That's pretty impressive. So there's a super bird that within 24 hours. You know what's really haunting me though? I'm just over here thinking about, like, what could really f*** with a hippo. That's all that. I. I'm over all this other s***. Like, I want to take out a hippo. That's it. I just want to kill. I want the one thing that could body a hippo. And the first thing that came to mind was like, what's the largest snake in the world?
Cristina: What? Why would that come to mind?
Jack: Because the snake can eat almost anything. And then in doing that's true, I look this up and it's like, nah, man.
Cristina: Not even the biggest.
Jack: No, the biggest snake could not handle. It's too. It's too. A hippos too big. It'd be like trying to eat an elephant in one shot.
Cristina: Okay, so I'm guessing a snake hasn't eaten an elephant either, right?
Jack: Yeah, for sure. It's too exaggerated. It's really probably the largest snakes ever.
Cristina: What?
Jack: Couldn't eat a hippo, but could they.
Cristina: Eat a alligator or something?
Jack: Easily. Easily the biggest snakes ever. Easily.
Cristina: Like, how big can it get though the animal that eats?
Jack: Pretty big. There's some snakes that have a width of three feet.
Cristina: I can't eat a horse though.
Jack: A width of three feet and then it could expand that.
Cristina: Snakes are stretchy, but not enough to. Has there been a snake that ate a horse? That's what I want to know.
Jack: We're trying to kill a hippo. Why are you trying to kill a horse?
Cristina: I don't know. Because it's smaller. But it's not.
Jack: It's a pretty big animal.
Cristina: It's not compared to a hippo.
Jack: Yeah, fair enough. That's very tiny.
Cristina: Although I don't imagine, like, how the snake would have gotten to the horse. That would be crazy. So what can kill a hippo?
Jack: So first the horse. A python could eat a horse?
Cristina: Oh my gosh.
Jack: Yeah. In fact, Dr. Google says a Burmese.
Cristina: Python can eat a horse.
Jack: Can eat a horse.
Cristina: I wonder if it has eaten a horse. Are they just saying, like, from the size its stomach can get?
Jack: No, here's. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. A snake can easily eat a horse because a horse is not absorbently fat. You crush the horse.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Its legs fold, it goes into your body. It is about roughly like two humans.
Cristina: But has it done that?
Jack: Don't know. Probably. We wouldn't know. We haven't seen all the horses and all the snakes. We haven't seen all the horse snakes. Interaction interactions, you know. Yeah, but like physical ability alone. H*** no. A snake cannot f*** with a hippo. A hippos as wide as it is tall.
Cristina: So what can do it Eat a.
Jack: Hippo if it wasn't a snake. That's why I thought snake. If it wasn't a snake. It's just not happening. No, it's just not happening.
Cristina: A shark. I don't know how that situation.
Jack: Fair enough. It would have to be that we're not talking mammals anymore, we're not talking predators. We're just at this point like what random animal who couldn't even encounter a hippo would eat a hippo?
Cristina: Yeah. Okay, so then shark works. Okay.
Jack: No, a shark wouldn't like.
Cristina: I'm pretty sure it's too random.
Jack: It's pretty random. Okay, okay, you want to know about shark immediately into. Into forums with some experts and some casuals and the experts immediately jump into saying a great white is the comparison you got to make. That's the top of the line when it comes to sharks. Now, problem being, if any shark or if any creature were to take out a hippo, it would have to be in water where you could find the hippo. And the hippo is not the supreme being. If the hip. If there were to be any animal to survive a great white attack, it would, interestingly enough, be a hippo. So this is the best comparison because it's the water creature that would most likely survive a great white attack and the great white would. And the creature that the great white would struggle the most with simultaneously, these are exactly what it is. So the great white can take out most things. The hippo would be the thing it would struggle most with. And what is most likely to survive the great white attack? It won't be the hippo.
Cristina: So we have no idea what could take them. A hippo still.
Jack: Well, the idea here would be the hippo is faster than a human in the water, but not faster than a fish in the water. So the hippo would have the. The clumsy difficulty happening in the water as compared to a shark. It's very clumsy. And the shark could literally swim circles around it. Yeah, the shark does have the lack of reverse, that's a problem. A lot of sharks can't back up.
Cristina: Another bigger bite.
Jack: The hippo has a bigger bite, Definitely.
Cristina: Has the rougher skin as well.
Jack: Yes. Sharks just happen to be so dangerous. They don't need the sharpest, I mean, the thickest skin, but they do have tougher teeth. While the hippo on the other hand has not the toughest teeth but the biggest mouth. So it could have a lot. Now it has way more pressure in its jaw than a shark. This is pretty like experts hopping popped in here immediately they're just like, this is a fascinating question. So the hippo or the shark, if the shark is hungry enough, it would be desperate enough and just maybe persist and that, that could probably tip the scale. The hippo wouldn't try to eat the shark, it would try to kill the shark, but it has less motivation than the shark has.
Cristina: But they're both doing it to survive.
Jack: What do you mean?
Cristina: The shark needs to eat the hipple to survive and the hippo needs to kill off the shark to survive?
Jack: Yes. Okay, fair enough. Here's the hippo will feel less problems happening, the shark will feel more. The hippo's used to crap trying to with it, but it's always the victor, so it's less worried about things.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: The shark is like, if I don't eat this thing, I'm gonna die. The desperation might be the fuel.
Cristina: Okay, man.
Jack: Interesting. Yes.
Cristina: But is there a better animal or is this the best we can find? Like.
Jack: Well, somebody just. You said shark.
Cristina: Yeah, yeah.
Jack: So I found shark.
Cristina: No. Yeah, but we can think of something better.
Jack: What would be better than a shark? It seems to be the most balanced match. We'd have to find something that's into scale. I suppose the argument would be is there a whale big enough to one shot? A hippo?
Cristina: No way. A blue whale. It's pretty big.
Jack: How big?
Cristina: Bigger than like a bunch of elephants.
Jack: How many elephants equals a blue whale?
Cristina: 14 to 21.
Jack: So it's excessively large.
Cristina: It's humongous. It wouldn't do anything to the hippo, though. I can't imagine that it would. I don't think blue whales eat meat or anything.
Jack: They probably do, just not casually like that.
Cristina: But orcas can do something. Maybe.
Jack: Orcas?
Cristina: Orcas, they can kill whales. The blue whale, I mean.
Jack: Fair enough. Some of them can flat out eat a whale.
Cristina: Eat a whale?
Jack: Yes. Now that they would. I mean, what the h***. I said whale. I mean, I guess they couldn't eat a whale. They would Gang up and just like mess it up. Fight it like a gang. Rape it or something.
Cristina: They would kill it. They would kill a young whale.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: I don't know if they'll eat it.
Jack: Maybe they eat it, but a whale will definitely body a hippo.
Cristina: Yeah, it's huge.
Jack: So will it elephant. Of course.
Cristina: Elephants are hu. Well, I guess compared to hippos, they're pretty big. Yeah, but who's smarter? Cat versus a hippo versus elephant.
Jack: I think it would be an elephant by miles.
Cristina: It's bigger and smarter.
Jack: It's bigger and smarter. It's way more powerful and just one of the most intelligent beings on earth, period.
Cristina: I don't see an elephant fighting a hippo though. Unless a hippo tried to mess with it for fun.
Jack: Yeah, Like a hippo would be like, well, he's an idiot, whatever.
Cristina: And then he will lose.
Jack: It's weird. A hippos think of us as human more than we think of hippos. That's a living thing. Not hippos, elephants. Elephants see humans as humans more than elephants see elephants as a thinking creature.
Cristina: Say that again.
Jack: Elephants see humans as humans. We're thinking. We're critical. They see that more than an elephant will see a person be completely normal and register that they are people or something like that. I don't know. I lost my train of thought.
Cristina: Are you saying the elephant sees a person more than a person?
Jack: Yes. A person feels an elephant isn't conscious and elephant knows a human is.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: But outside the point we know elephant would body a hippo.
Cristina: Yes, that's the main thing. The elephant be the hippo.
Jack: That's the main lesson in life.
Cristina: Yes. We've done it. We figured it out. It's an elephant.
Jack: Yes. Yeah. So I guess that's the solution. An elephant and a blue whale will both body a hippo.
Cristina: Well, doesn't count. Because it wouldn't.
Jack: Fair enough. If it had to, it would.
Cristina: If it had to, it would. Would it?
Jack: I don't know. It wouldn't. But if it had to, it would.
Cristina: What about the hippo versus the orca? Wouldn't it be the same thing?
Jack: Why?
Cristina: Because if a orca. What? No. Or was it a shark? What did you say before? It was a shark. A starving shark versus a hippo. The starving shark will win.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Because it needs to. Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Essentially it needs. In order to survive.
Cristina: Yeah. So wouldn't it be the same with the. With what was the thing that we were just talking about? The orca?
Jack: No, hippo.
Cristina: The whale.
Jack: Yes. The other One.
Cristina: The whale versus the hippo. I can't remember.
Jack: It doesn't matter. Point is, hippos are pretty hard to be in.
Cristina: Elephants are probably harder and smarter. And smarter.
Jack: So it is what it is.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Anyways, if you guys like how absurd this conversation was, you can feel free to find us on social media. JustConvopod.
Cristina: Remember to subscribe, rate, and review the show.
Jack: Yes. Word of mouth is kind overpowered. It's awesome. It'll bring you riches.
Cristina: Riches. And let someone who might like this.
Jack: Show know about it, because word of mouth matters.
Cristina: Exactly. This has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal, and thanks for listening. Bye.
Jack: Which is weird because it means to some degree, Martin Luther King is also connected to Santa.
Cristina: That is what? Weird. Yeah. But does he know about the penguins? Do you think he knew about the penguins?
Jack: Who?
Cristina: Martha Luther King?
Jack: I don't know if he knew about the penguins. I know that anybody who has to cross the Arctic must interact with the penguins.
Cristina: And if you are, we just recently learned about chimeras. So how long have they been existing?
Jack: Oh, I'm calling them a chimera. I don't really know. Again, there's no. I don't know what they are. Oh, it's an assumption.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: I don't know what they are. Yeah, they're not birds, because we know that's bullshit.
Cristina: They're not related to Scooby Doo.
Jack: They're maybe. I don't know. They come from the other side of the wall. I could not tell you anything. I am not allowed to research over there. I can venture over there, but it's not our business. Yeah, it's not our job to go over the wall and do anything lame.
Cristina: But I guess, yeah, we work with.
Jack: Earthly affairs inside the wall and anything supernatural outside the planet.
Cristina: Outside the planet, man. Well, how. But how much supernatural things are happening right outside the wa.
Jack: Don't know. Not allowed to look.
Cristina: Not allowed to look. What if it's helpful, though?
Jack: Doesn't matter. We got to figure it out. What's in here?
Cristina: Wow. That's lame. Do you think we could, though? Because the other Earth has an Arctic. What if we examine their Arctic? Or it would be different.
Jack: I'm guessing it'll probably be different. I don't know. There's parallel nests going on.
Cristina: Yeah. So maybe they have a wand.
Jack: Depends. Is there wall? Is there. Do they have flat Earthers? I don't know.
Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor, and published by greatthoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister. With social media managed by Amber Black.