Rambling 146: Origins of Batman's Money
/
Where does Bruce Wayne get his money? How does Bruce Wayne maintain this money? Does he have companies? What do these companies do? And what is his obsession with bats to begin with? Did a bat assassinate his family and so he ironically dresses like his greatest fear? The duo deep dive to uncover the origin and history of Bruce Wayne’s money and the Batman.
+Episode Details
Topics Discussed
- Thomas Wayne
- Crime Alley
- Joker’s Age
- The Little Mermaid
- Pinocchio
- The Search for Souls
- Frankenstein
- Mario’s Family
- Giant Bat
- The League of Assassins
- Onlyfans
- Bruce Wayne’s Thoughts
- Bat-Powers
- Batgician
- Bat-Bots
Our Links:
Official Website - https://greythoughts.info/podcast
Twitter - https://twitter.com/JustConvoPod
Facebook - https://facebook.com/justconvopod
Instagram -https://instagram.com/justconvopod
+Transcript
Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean?
Jack: Welcome to the Just Conversation podcast. The show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas in childhood. Choice. I'm your host, Jack.
Cristina: And I'm your host, Christina.
Jack: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button to get notified the second new episodes, or at least why?
Cristina: And also, this show is most enjoyable with a listening partner to share opinions and ideas on topics we discuss.
Jack: Yes, so go find your listening partner if you don't have one by now.
Cristina: What happened to your voice?
Jack: What do you mean?
Cristina: It changed.
Jack: No, it didn't.
Cristina: Yes, it did.
Jack: It's been this way since the day I was born.
Cristina: You just. You just made a Batman voice, I think. I don't know.
Jack: Batman cancer voice.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: The Batman cancer I've had. I am fighting crime. But also I decided to do this after having way too many cigarettes. Is that like the story behind this guy?
Cristina: Yeah, he's like, Saul, he's dying from cancer. Lung cancer.
Jack: Yeah, we already had this conversation like in season two or some s***. Then there was like the f******. Because he becomes the bat fleck where he has a robot voice and now I'm a robot or whatever. And it's cuz he. He had. He goes through the whole cancer process. Then he has no vocal cords because of all the cigarettes. I am Batman. Fear me or whatever. Don't do crime or whatever. He says to people. I am the. I am the night. I am the dark.
Cristina: Is he supposed to talk to people? He only talks to the cops. Does he talk to the criminals? I don't know.
Jack: I don't know. But Batman kills, bro. Look, people say his one rule is no murder. But he's like constantly kicking guys off of roofs. They're just like henchmen, bro. They're just guys.
Cristina: I'm sure there's like something on the bottom of every building that just catches all of them.
Jack: I don't know, dude.
Cristina: Batman, he's rich enough. He has something catch them.
Jack: He has like a Jarvis Auto grabbing people.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Just falling and why is he. What the does Matt was. Whatever. I guess he has a money.
Cristina: He has a ridiculous. He has like infinite amount of money doing. I don't know.
Jack: He's the Queen type of rich.
Cristina: He's the Queen type of rich. Yes, but what's his business?
Jack: He has whatever company Lucius works for that makes tech.
Cristina: He's. He's a tech guy, but he's not A tech.
Jack: Well, he doesn't make the tech, but he owns a tech company and he pays a tech dude to do tech stuff. And I don't. I'm not really sure why.
Cristina: How did his parents. But they were in tech people. They have money and they gave him the business. Then the business transformed into tech.
Jack: They were. Man. I think his parents are criminals. Yeah, but like financial criminals.
Cristina: Probably. But what was their front?
Jack: Like? The front? Yeah. Dude, I don't know. That's interesting.
Cristina: I don't think it was.
Jack: Let's guess without looking it up. Let's. Let's use context clues to put together what we know about Gotham.
Cristina: All I know is that they were rich.
Jack: They were rich?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: They were killed leaving, like, a theater or something.
Cristina: Yes. On a street known as, like, dangerous. Yes.
Jack: It was literally Crime Alley. It's like, okay, I am. What? F****** not Bruce Wayne. What the f*** is his dad's name?
Cristina: Bruce Wayne Senior, I guess.
Jack: She telling me Batman is Junior?
Cristina: Yeah. So.
Jack: F*** it. So we got. No, it's. It's Thomas Wayne.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: Thomas Wayne is this super mega awesome, duper. Duper genius guy.
Cristina: Is he a genius?
Jack: I don't know. But he was smart enough to be a billionaire. A bajillionaire.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And somehow still had the lapse of judgment to decide it makes perfect sense to walk down Crime Alley at night.
Cristina: You're assuming that some of that money came from crime. Then maybe he thought he was safe to walk on Crime Alley because he's a criminal.
Jack: But they don't. What the. They don't know he's. He's a suit and tie criminal. His is shady background noise.
Cristina: But don't the criminals know that?
Jack: I don't tell me criminals who hang out at Crime Alley just know Thomas Wayne and Martha Wayne.
Cristina: No, they wouldn't know. I don't know.
Jack: They don't know.
Cristina: I don't know. But what is he.
Jack: I don't know. So we know they're already rich.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: We know he's smart enough to be a billionaire, but dumb enough to go down Crime Alley. They were like, at a theater or something. We're just picking clues.
Cristina: Right?
Jack: It's either a place, like a play, some sort of play or fancy event thing. Maybe like a. A suit and tie, like dinner thing where a bunch of rich douchebags get together and, like, some of them are criminal. Secretly. Anyways. Like these people.
Cristina: Yes. Okay.
Jack: And. And yeah, they die there. So I don't know. I don't know what they do. I know they're Rich, filthy rich, super mega duper rich.
Cristina: And they were probably hanging out with criminals though, because then they walk on Crime street, it's normal. Because they're with their friends who are criminals.
Jack: Except they weren't walking around with their friends who are criminals. I don't think they hang out with petty criminals. I think it's all financial. Like big. Like they hang out with kingpins, which means little guys don't know about them.
Cristina: Okay, but what. He's not a doctor, is he?
Jack: No, I don't think he's a doctor.
Cristina: I don't think he's a doctor. He paid a doctor. Right? Or something in one of those movies.
Jack: To do what?
Cristina: To lie about Joker's mom.
Jack: We're using that canon.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: I mean, he still doesn't tell us what the he did.
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: He was.
Cristina: He's a businessman.
Jack: He's a busy eye. He's a businessman, question mark.
Cristina: Yes, that's.
Jack: That's his job. Yes. He does business that results in money. He does things that equal money. And that is business.
Cristina: Technically, yes, but what business? It could be anything, man.
Jack: I wonder if it's ever clarified.
Cristina: It has to be. I think maybe not. Maybe Bruce Wayne doesn't even know.
Jack: He's just like, I'm rich. I don't know why I'm rich, but I am rich.
Cristina: And then I'm in a tech company and then they die. That's as far as I know about them, man.
Jack: That's crazy. Maybe. He said he knows they were criminals, right?
Cristina: No, he doesn't. Because they just told him your parents were rich and they died.
Jack: In Joker the movie, the Joker is already quite an adult. He's like 30.
Cristina: He's really.
Jack: Or 40.
Cristina: Sad looking. 20 year old. Really crappy, unhealthy. 20 year old.
Jack: I mean that's pretty bad looking 20 year old man.
Cristina: Yes, let's pretend that that's what's happening.
Jack: But no, he's like 40. 40, 45. How old is Thomas Wayne?
Cristina: Yeah, because if he's his dad, if that's a true story, how old is that guy?
Jack: Dude, I feel that doesn't. I guess Joker should have been like 30. He was playing like a 35 year old.
Cristina: Okay, let's pretend he's. Yeah.
Jack: Which makes Thomas Wayne at 50s, 60s. If he had him at 20, then he would be 55. That makes sense.
Cristina: That's right.
Jack: Let's say that to be 55. If he had the joker at 20 and the joker is 35. Ish.
Cristina: Yeah. And Bruce is like 13.
Jack: Yeah, Bruce was like 13 or some s***. Now the question that I have is, is the Bruce Wayne from that movie the same Bruce Wayne from Gotham and like, is that more canon? Because brute and also like Joker's that much older than f****** Batman, bro. Like, that's a weird story.
Cristina: That is a weird story. I don't know why they made him so young. Or I guess because we're. Or old because he grows up. Joker's gonna be so old. I don't know. He's gonna be so much older than me.
Jack: It doesn't make any sense. He's gonna be like.
Cristina: He'S gonna become the guy from Saw. I don't know.
Jack: Well, okay, so let's say we're gonna be. Because he was clearly not kid was like 10. So f*** it, we'll say he's 10 and the Joker is 35. So Joker holds 25 years on Batman. So when Batman is finally Batman, we'll say Batman is 30, but the Joker has 25 years on him. So he's 55. That's fair. Okay, that's fair.
Cristina: 30. How will we say Batman's 25 in the movie? Or end whatever. Batman. Batman's 25. How old is Joker?
Jack: Batman's 25. The Joker's 50. No, my older brother, the 50 year old Joker.
Cristina: I don't know. I don't know how it works. It's gonna be weird. Batman is an old old dude.
Jack: It's not old. 50 is an old. Especially with the way the Joker. Old is a state of mind.
Cristina: But he looks really bad at whatever age he's supposed to be. He's already dying. He's super thin. He was like creepy sick looking.
Jack: But I'm sure he gets healthier.
Cristina: Like the cartoon Joker become when he becomes his true self.
Jack: Yeah. Now that he's no longer like, he'll.
Cristina: Be a healthier looking man. Yeah.
Jack: He's gonna eat more.
Cristina: He's gonna eat more. He's gonna eat people. He's not a cannibalism. Cannibal, is he?
Jack: He's not cannibalism, though. Cannibalism is an abstract idea and word in the act of eating a human. He. The Joker is not cannibalism, I assure you.
Cristina: Are you positive?
Jack: I am positive. The Joker is not cannibalism. Otherwise the Joker has existed throughout history.
Cristina: Well, what if he has?
Jack: Then the Joker's like Tyler Durden or some s***.
Cristina: Yeah. Isn't he?
Jack: That would prove way more that he's inside Batman's head. Yes, because it's Just a concept. There's no Joker. It's just Batman arguing. Batman sets up crime.
Cristina: Yes. This whole movie of Joker's beginning was just Batman having a dream about Joker's beginning.
Jack: Why would Batman even question where he came from? It's so interesting. I wonder. Like, there's too many iterations of that. Like the whole ability that comic book series have to reinvent the beginnings, like origin stories completely change. Usually if. Let's say you take a book. Right.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And the book becomes popular and then you make a movie from the book and the movie is only based on the book and you change the beginning and you change the ending. And, like, the origin is different and the ending is different. People will lose their f****** s***.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: You do that to a comic book, nobody gives a.
Cristina: Because no one's read the comic book. Well, I guess now everyone. I don't know. I don't know.
Jack: No, because comic book people are already used to the consistent change. New origin, doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Cristina: Doesn't matter. Yeah.
Jack: Book people are snobby douchebags who think they're better than the rest of society.
Cristina: Oh, comic book people.
Jack: And like, I'm a book person, but I snobby. No. Because I understand that this is somebody's vision. What the f*** does my opinion have to do with somebody else's creativity?
Cristina: That's true.
Jack: The same. My Little Mermaid. F****** don't watch it then.
Cristina: Yeah. You're probably too old to be watching that anyway.
Jack: There's probably a bunch of, like, older dudes.
Cristina: I don't. Yes.
Jack: This ain't My Little Mermaid. Because you wanted to, like, jerk off to a f****** half fish white girl and now she's black and you're like, well, I'm a racist. I can't jerk off to a half fish black girl. That's nasty.
Cristina: It's weird. The original Little Mermaid had a description besides being a little girl.
Jack: Right. Because she's like 12.
Cristina: She's super young.
Jack: Yeah. Meanwhile, like, I don't know, these 55 year old guys over here jerking off the fish girl.
Cristina: Why?
Jack: I don't know. This is America. Don't catch you slipping up. Because the pedos be jerking up. No, that's how they do it.
Cristina: Talking about Batman was way better than talking about what's happening with Little Mermaid.
Jack: Jerking off the Little Mermaid?
Cristina: No. Ah, that's so horrible. Well, you know what? She dies and she becomes an angel.
Jack: That happens.
Cristina: Yes. Or maybe not an angel. She becomes a flying spirit creature. I don't know. It doesn't say specifically what she is, but they exist in the sky. And if after 200 years or something, she could become a human.
Jack: What?
Cristina: Yes. I don't know. The com. The ending is a little complicated.
Jack: Wait, this is real?
Cristina: Yes. From the story? The written story.
Jack: You've read the Little Mermaid?
Cristina: Yes. It's ridiculous.
Jack: Wait, the movie is based on the book? Or is the book based on a movie?
Cristina: The book came first.
Jack: Really? For, like, factually, you know this to be true?
Cristina: Pretty sure. 80% sure.
Jack: Got you.
Cristina: Is pretty. Pretty sure. This is the book came first.
Jack: And then she becomes like a bird girl.
Cristina: Yeah. Some kind of flying creature thing. And some flying creature things. Say, like, you can. You could be here for 200 years, like this creature, and then you could become a human. Because her whole goal is to have a human soul. That's. What's the goal? Human soul.
Jack: So to clarify.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: There are a lot of crossing lines between the Little Mermaid and Pinochlo.
Cristina: That's not his name. No. Is that his name?
Jack: Pinocchio.
Cristina: Why isn't it Pinocchio?
Jack: Go ahead and spell his name out for me.
Cristina: No, I know how it's spelled, but Pinocchio.
Jack: Why would it be Pinocchio? There's a CH in there.
Cristina: No, it's. It's silent. The H is silent, I hope.
Jack: Is it. Is it an H? It's Pinocchio. Right?
Cristina: Yeah. No, that's how it's spelled. Yeah, Pinocchio.
Jack: That doesn't make any sense. Broken a** English.
Cristina: I don't know if it's English.
Jack: It could be Italian. Was Geppetto Italian? Because there's also two Cs in his name, right?
Cristina: Geppetto? I have no idea.
Jack: Pinocchio. Or is it two Cs?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: Is it Pinocchio? No, it's still. It's still the same.
Cristina: No, it's Pinocchio.
Jack: Whether It's Ch or two Cs, it's Pinocchio.
Cristina: Okay, what about Pinocchio? What about Pinocchio?
Jack: Oh, yeah, Pinocchio. Pinocchio is trying to get a real soul. Just like Little Mermaid. They're both, like, trying to get souls, except one is a weird haunted puppet thing and the other one is a siren story.
Cristina: I'm sure it's creepy, but her story. Yeah, they live. Mermaids live a super long time, like 200 years or whatever. And then they turn into seafoam, and then they live like that forever.
Jack: Whoa.
Cristina: So I guess that's why.
Jack: Unless they get a soul.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So they're sirens. She's a siren, bro. Little Mermaid is a siren.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: She's not a mermaid. There's no mermaids. They're sirens. They're trying to, like, suck a soul out.
Cristina: Well, they don't. Their goal isn't to suck us all out. That's just hers.
Jack: How you gonna get a soul, specifically? She has to kill somebody, right?
Cristina: Yeah. She was supposed to kill the person.
Jack: She loved to get their soul?
Cristina: No, to. I don't remember the story. Oh, man, I'm forgetting. Yeah, I guess to get her back her tail. Actually, I think it was because she messed up. She was supposed to make him fall in love with her, and she fell.
Jack: In love with him.
Cristina: Well, she. Yeah, she already loved him. And she was supposed to make him fall in love with her to become human, but that didn't work out. He fell in love with someone else who he thought saved his life, which it was really her.
Jack: But why does having your life saved equal falling in love?
Cristina: I don't know. He just did. He just automatically was like, I'm in love with.
Jack: But, like, her plan was, I saved him so he'll fall in love with me.
Cristina: But he doesn't know that she saved him.
Jack: No. Well, this is my point. In this world, for whatever reason, everybody concludes life saving equals falling in love. The Little Mermaid was like, I'll save his life. He'll fall in love.
Cristina: No, I don't think that was her. She. When she saved him, she just, out of love, saved him. It wasn't out of, like.
Jack: It wasn't like, he'll. He'll know. Fall in love. And then he's like, she saves me. I' ma fall in love.
Cristina: No.
Jack: And it's like, everybody, for whatever reason, equates being saved with falling in love.
Cristina: No, I don't think so. Well, just him for him, I guess.
Jack: So the Little Mermaid didn't. Didn't do that.
Cristina: No. And she was much younger than him. I think he saw her as his little sister. And he was going to. He was going to marry her. But he's like, oh, but if I see this other girl who saved me, I will marry her instead. And he did that. So she was so close, I guess. Oh, but she couldn't talk. That's also a big problem. They took away her voice, and every time she walks, it feels like she's stepping on glass.
Jack: What the f***?
Cristina: Yes. And she dances a lot because she can't vocalize, so she dances instead. So her feet are all bloody. I don't know if anyone even noticed her feet. No. One complains or are concerned. Yes.
Jack: Is there a trail of blood?
Cristina: I think so. I don't know.
Jack: Does it feel? Or is it like she's really being stabbed by invisible glass? It only stabs her.
Cristina: I'm not sure.
Jack: Because it could just feel like.
Cristina: It could just feel like it. I feel like they described blood, though. But maybe she has it covered up in something, like, so like a bandage or something.
Jack: Or it's in her head.
Cristina: Or it's in her head. Yeah. No one notices.
Jack: Like she's just metaphorically seeing trails of blood.
Cristina: Yeah, could be.
Jack: Yes, the blood. So I don't know. She sounds kind of like a siren anyways. She's trying to get a soul.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: She wants a human soul.
Cristina: So that she can die.
Jack: So she can live.
Cristina: No, die.
Jack: You need a human. What?
Cristina: Because if you become. If you're a mermaid and you become foam, you stay a foam forever. You're alive forever as a foam.
Jack: What the f*** is the difference between being foam and being dead?
Cristina: You wait. With the human soul. You get to heaven, I guess. I don't know.
Jack: The soul goes to heaven. Yeah, you don't.
Cristina: But you don't stay as a foam forever. You die. You get to die.
Jack: Isn't foam them dying?
Cristina: No, because they still there. They're still there as foam.
Jack: Like their atoms are. But are they, like, consciously.
Cristina: They might be consciously foam.
Jack: So you could talk to this foam.
Cristina: Probably, and it's like, please kill me.
Jack: But you can't because I'm everywhere.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Spread out evenly across us.
Cristina: Yep. So, yeah, interesting.
Jack: Reminds me of the flaming bush.
Cristina: The flaming bush?
Jack: Yeah. Like, if you tried to kill the flaming bush, you wouldn't do anything. You could throw some water on it.
Cristina: But, like, what flaming bush are you talking about?
Jack: The f****** one that Moses spoke to.
Cristina: Oh, wasn't Moses. Why are you trying to throw out. I mean, push it. What?
Jack: I don't know. It's like a. It's like a weird energy thing you can talk to but isn't, like, really there.
Cristina: How do you know it's not there?
Jack: I mean, how do you know the foam is there or isn't there? When you talk to the foam or when you talk to the fire, it's like, yeah, Imma kill you, so I'm gonna stab you or something. It's like, well, it didn't do anything. Stab the fire.
Cristina: Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess fire's fine, I guess. Yeah.
Jack: You can't kill it.
Cristina: You can't kill fire water on it.
Jack: But it wasn't like hot Fire either. It's just like, weird fire. Like the foam, I guess you could put it in, like a vacuum or something, suck up the foam, but you.
Cristina: Still don't get rid of it.
Jack: Could you mix two different foams together and make one foam mermaid thing?
Cristina: I don't think so. It's probably all jumbled up foam of different.
Jack: Yeah. So it's like death. Or not death.
Cristina: Whatever. Yeah.
Jack: Weird mermaid body thing.
Cristina: Yeah. Wants to be foam forever.
Jack: Mermaid foam. And that's why Batman is what he is.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Because Pinocchio.
Cristina: Pinocchio.
Jack: Pinocchio and the Little Mermaid. What's her name? Ariella. Arielle.
Cristina: Ariel.
Jack: Ariella. Her name is Ariola.
Cristina: No, Ariel.
Jack: Ariola. So Pinocchio and Ariola are both trying to get a human soul, along with Chucky and all the other sirens.
Cristina: Well, Pinocchio wants to be a real boy, not just have a soul.
Jack: What is the difference?
Cristina: He wants bones.
Jack: He wants fleshiness.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: I am wood.
Cristina: He wants stronger, the meaty parts. She wants the spiritual.
Jack: But he wants to be a real boy. That includes the soul. That's right.
Cristina: Yes. Yes. That is part of it, actually.
Jack: Yeah. Part of his equation.
Cristina: Yeah. That would suck if they just give him somebody. Yeah.
Jack: You got, like, a body, but, like. Look, we're gonna. Pinocchio, we figured it out. Here's you. We're gonna do some kind of alchemy thing. We're gonna move you over there, but when you're over there, you'll be conscious and stuff. But, like, the body's not going to move because we don't know how to. How to make a soul. You know, like, the part that powers the body, that's not going to be there. So you can have a body to be real.
Cristina: Maybe it's like Frankenstein. What happened to him? He didn't have a soul.
Jack: That's weird. Frankenstein is like a f******.
Cristina: Or did he have a soul that was like pieces of the people he was made of?
Jack: He's. In the case of Frankenstein, we're assuming science is right and the soul is just not a thing.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: At least not the ethereal soul.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Soul is like a collection of his consciousness.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So if you're aware, then boom. Soul.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: But, like. So we're assuming science is correct there, but it's possible that Frankenstein is a homunculus. He's like a creature brought back to life without us all. If a soul is real.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Frankenstein might not have one.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Or I guess the monster. Because Frankenstein is the doctor.
Cristina: The monster. The monster is Frankenstein Junior. Okay.
Jack: We call him Frankenstein. We should call him. It doesn't. Like it's Frankenstein's monster named Frankenstein from this day forward.
Cristina: What happened?
Jack: It's Frankenstein's monster that we will call Frankenstein forever. Yeah, because this makes sense to keep like the month. No, it's whatever, dude.
Cristina: We know Frankenstein junior.
Jack: No, it's not.
Cristina: Yes, it is.
Jack: Frankenstein is his last name. So his name was like Jimmy Frankenstein or something.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Yeah. Then I guess his name should be Frankenstein Gonzalez Frankenstein. Why would his last. His first name is the last name.
Jack: No, there's people named Gonzalez.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Yeah. Oh, his name is Joselito Frankenstein.
Cristina: The doctor you talking about? Okay, okay.
Jack: He was born Joselito Frankenstein.
Cristina: Are you sure it's not Frankenstein Frankenstein?
Jack: I mean, what, like Mario Mario?
Cristina: Yes, his name is Frankenstein Frankenstein and his son is Frankenstein Frankenstein junior.
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: That sounds right.
Jack: Do Mario and Wario share parents?
Cristina: No, I don't think so.
Jack: Are they on same on the father's side or the mother's side?
Cristina: They're not related.
Jack: They're cousins.
Cristina: Who?
Jack: Wario and Mario.
Cristina: They're cousins.
Jack: They're cousins.
Cristina: Really?
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: I had no idea.
Jack: Yeah. And like, is Wario's like father the brother of Mario's father, and thus it's Wario, Mario and Luigi Mario and Mario Mario. Or is it like Wario's mom is different and there's a result.
Cristina: I hope they're all last name is Mario. That would mean their fathers are brothers.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Yes. Awesome.
Jack: But like, we don't crap about their parents.
Cristina: Is the other one related to Waluigi? Yeah, whatever his name is.
Jack: I should have just called him Lario the way people thought he was named.
Cristina: What is it?
Jack: Lario.
Cristina: Lario. That's why I thought Wario Lario Waluigi.
Jack: La Luigi Waluigi Mario Luigi Wario Waluigi.
Cristina: So wrong. So wrong.
Jack: Should have just been Lario, bro. Yeah, Wario. No. How do you say. How do you get it to sound like Luigi Luigi Luigi Muigi Ruigi, Ruigi.
Cristina: Juigi sounds Maybe not. Oh, Luigi's a hard one.
Jack: Batman has to get rid of all these people.
Cristina: Why?
Jack: Because we still don't know what the f*** Thomas Wayne did.
Cristina: I understand how Thomas Wayne has to do with these people.
Jack: Pinocchio wants a soul and a real body.
Cristina: He wants a lot of stuff Areola wants. We put him into the Frankenstein body.
Jack: Yeah. What? Just put. What? You just put a wooden body inside of it? Yeah, he's already chopped up. It's easy. Cut one of those stitches open Dig a hole, put. You could. I mean, I guess you could make like a transformer made of me or some. Not a transformer, but like a. Like a robot.
Cristina: Let's just strap him on his body. There's just two people, but we just pretend it's one.
Jack: No, I'm thinking like, you could make this work. You can shove the entire body of Pinocho inside of the Frankenstein body and try to jump start it as one. So they somehow the consciousness is fused.
Cristina: And Little Mermaid has to go in there somehow.
Jack: Well, no, because Little Mermaid and Pinocchio. Areola and Pinocchio are both looking for a soul.
Cristina: Well, maybe with this weird thing we're making.
Jack: Thomas Wayne has the money for the soul. That's. That's his purpose here.
Cristina: Okay?
Jack: We don't know. Well, I guess Bruce Wayne, because Thomas Wayne died going down f****** Crime Alley, of all places. Like you went down.
Cristina: It was named after it cannot.
Jack: There's no way. Dude, why.
Cristina: Why would it be Crime? Why?
Jack: Because he's a f****** idiot.
Cristina: Maybe it wasn't. Are you sure you think his death.
Jack: Made it Crime Alley?
Cristina: Yes, it's a huge crime for the whole city because he was an important man.
Jack: How is he important?
Cristina: I don't know. Because he's rich and he was helping the city. Like his son, who's rich and is helping the city somehow.
Jack: Does Batman help the city any way other than dressing up like a freaking.
Cristina: I mean, Bruce Wayne, not Batman.
Jack: Here's the man. This is so crazy. Batman's crazy.
Cristina: Yes, but Bruce Wayne, though, is helping the city with his money. I think.
Jack: Probably. But like, I'm over that. I'm more amazed by the fact that this dude dresses up like a giant bat.
Cristina: He does not dress like a giant bat. There's no bat that you've ever seen that look like that.
Jack: Well, that's what I'm saying. He dresses like a giant. Well, then what the f*** is he dressing like?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: He calls himself Batman. But he doesn't.
Cristina: But that's not a bat suit.
Jack: No, it's like a. He looks like the Mothman sort of. Right? Maybe.
Cristina: I don't know. It reminds me of an umbrella.
Jack: By the way, that movie is creepy. The Mothman prophecy, huh?
Cristina: Is the Mothman in it?
Jack: Yeah, you don't really. It's. It's like a psychological.
Cristina: You said Nicolas Cage was in that one. Or am I confusing that somewhere with something else?
Jack: No, it's Richard Gere.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Probably did not see that.
Jack: Great movie, though. Mothman prophecy. And Blair Witch Project are two old movies that you don't see the bad guy necessarily. You hear about them a lot.
Cristina: Mothman, the bad guy.
Jack: It's an arc. It's hard to say there's a bad guy. There's more of weird s*** happens and you don't know how to explain it. And it's eerie and.
Cristina: And you know something bad is gonna happen.
Jack: Yeah. Some lady told the. Like, she could tell the future based on a dream and it didn't happen. Or that happened often. Like, people would have premonition or something of something bad. You know, like moths do or whatever people superstitions about moths have and s***.
Cristina: Okay. But they would see this Mothman and then that's. The premonition will happen.
Jack: Yeah, I. Something would always. Something bad would always follow seeing the Mothman.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: So people thought you. You know, you saw.
Cristina: I don't think he's Batman, though.
Jack: The Mothman might be Batman.
Cristina: I think he's. Don't people think he's an alien?
Jack: The Mothman's an alien?
Cristina: Yeah. Why do you think I think that's what people think he is. He's an alien.
Jack: Could be. I mean, but everybody thinks everything's an alien. People think Bigfoot's an alien.
Cristina: Bigfoot might be an alien. Yes, Everything is an alien. Okay. Which in. In a way. We also talked about how everything was a fairy. So maybe Bigfoot is a fairy and so is Mothman.
Jack: And maybe fairies are just aliens that came before us. Yeah. Yes, it's quite possible.
Cristina: Aliens came. We saw them as fairies. No, they were gods first.
Jack: We kept demoting them as we saw that they weren't, like, infinitely powerful.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Until they have power we don't understand. So they equal God. And then it's like, wait, but he doesn't know what's in my head. So he doesn't know everything.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: So you know, the more you demigod now and then they're like, but like, another guy can kill you. Just like a thing with powers at this point.
Cristina: Now you're a fairy.
Jack: Now you're a fairy.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Just kept getting demoted. Eventually. This is your f****** different type of thing. But you're like me.
Cristina: And then you became an alien in the end.
Jack: Yeah. Science bred you. The end. It went all the way until the magic was gone and it was just science. You just evolved like the rest of us. And eventually we'll be there, and then.
Cristina: So did we just end up like. Is that what it was in the beginning, though? Was it a science? Was it an alien? First and then we thought it was magic. But then we realized the truth. Like it is an alien.
Jack: Could be like, I don't know. Maybe it's possible. That being said, that was Thomas wayne's job. Area 51.
Cristina: Area 50. How do you become a billionaire with Area 51?
Jack: Money. They pay you. The government.
Cristina: All those weapons involved, I guess, of mass destruction.
Jack: Alien weapons of mass destruction. Planet destroying weapons. We confiscated the weapons from all the aliens that we caught somehow.
Cristina: Is Gotham anywhere near that area?
Jack: Gotham is New York City. So no.
Cristina: No. Okay, so how. No, I don't think so.
Jack: That's weird, right? Because Metropolis is like Los Angeles or some s***. Then Gotham is New York.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Bludhaven is like Newark. You know, it's based on real s***. But then Marvel is just in real place. Like Spider man is just from Queens.
Cristina: Yeah, they're all like that in Marvel.
Jack: Yeah, everybody's from somewhere real.
Cristina: Which came first, Marvel or dc?
Jack: Good question. I would say dc, maybe. It's probably Superman.
Cristina: Oh, okay. And they decided to pick fictional places first.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: What a bad decision.
Jack: I do, on the other hand, think the Green Hornet came before all of them.
Cristina: What is he, dc?
Jack: I don't think he's either. He's his own. Oh, Green Hornet comics. I don't know.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: He comes from a thing where stuff happens. There are superheroes and people who dress up. He was a detective.
Cristina: He's a detective. That's really boring.
Jack: Yeah, well, Batman's detecting isn't that boring.
Cristina: Because he's not just a detective. He also beats people up.
Jack: He murders people, kicks them off of buildings.
Cristina: He doesn't murder him. He has technology that picks up people from falling to their deaths, I guess. And when he break someone's neck, he also has technology to fix those necks, I'm assuming.
Jack: So he saves the dead. He has an army of zombies out there. Don't even realize.
Cristina: Yeah, they don't. As long as they continue living like everything's normal. Everything's normal. Until one day someone bites someone and then.
Jack: Why would it. I don't think it's contagious like that. It's just dead people who he brought back to life with science.
Cristina: Yeah. Isn't there a dead person in that? Like a villain?
Jack: Yeah. His name is Dumesay. No, Solomon Grundy.
Cristina: There you go.
Jack: Yeah, he's a zombie.
Cristina: Did Batman bring him back to life?
Jack: I think Ra's Algol did it.
Cristina: Oh, well, Batman has that technology. Isn't he friends with Roz?
Jack: I think he's a member of the F****** League of Assassins or some s***.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: He might know that he's supposed to marry Falia.
Cristina: Falia?
Jack: Yeah, Ra's his daughter.
Cristina: Oh, he never does, but that is.
Jack: I know. I think he. At some point. I'm not sure, maybe at some point. I do think maybe some reality, some version of this to get married.
Cristina: Okay. But he gets the power to bring people back to death through him. So there you go.
Jack: Back to death for days.
Cristina: Exactly.
Jack: So he murders people with his power.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Why can't I just eat them to death?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: That's power to bring people back to death.
Cristina: And he wastes it all the time. Maybe he tries not to murder them, but it happens.
Jack: Powers are too strong.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: He has to fight his powers.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: He needs Xavier to help him control murdering people.
Cristina: Who's Xavier? Oh, from X Men.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: He can't do that, though.
Jack: My powers of just murdering people are out of control.
Cristina: Yeah. So he has that power. And he probably shares it with Superman. Because I'm sure Superman by accident, always is killing people.
Jack: Superman is like the Avengers, bro. They level a city in the middle of a fight. And it's like you killed more people than you were trying to save. Should have just let that alien take over.
Cristina: Yeah, yeah, super. But Superman, by accident, is destroying a city. He. Like, how does he control anything?
Jack: That's a good question. Because, like, how does he not laser beam a building in half?
Cristina: Yeah, I don't know.
Jack: I don't know. It's nuts.
Cristina: He has that thing. He can bring people back.
Jack: What thing? Like, just his power of.
Cristina: No, he has Batman's thing. Batman gives it to him, too. Whatever that power is.
Jack: You said the power to bring people to death.
Cristina: To life.
Jack: But you said to death.
Cristina: I didn't mean to. That. To life.
Jack: The power of his ability to murder effectively while trying not to.
Cristina: Yes, but no. From Roz. Roz? Yes.
Jack: What the f*** did Roz do beforehand? What does anybody in this world do? Okay, so everybody's a criminal with Bruce Wayne. And Bruce Wayne's earned his money from a bunch of criminals. But criminals do. Did what? Money laundering.
Cristina: All of them did money laundering. I don't know.
Jack: Don't they rob banks like Two Face does? Yeah, I mean, I guess a penguin does, too. A lot of them do. So does the Joker. There's a lot of bank robbing. Why does. Why are there banks?
Cristina: Robbing banks?
Jack: Why are there banks in Gotham?
Cristina: No, because there's, like, so much criminals. So are they just stealing each other's money?
Jack: Right. Because that bank is probably owned by criminal.
Cristina: Yeah. So no. What?
Jack: And how did Gotham get so bad? They had to like enclose it and not like like now this is a prison. The whole city, the whole city now is a prison.
Cristina: I don't know. Batman fever.
Jack: And how do criminals not easily just leave Gotham? Like, yeah, they close it up. But there's like water.
Cristina: There's water. I don't know.
Jack: They use the water to get out.
Cristina: Because they don't want to leave. They love the place. The place turns them into criminals.
Jack: So why isn't Batman a criminal?
Cristina: He is a criminal.
Jack: He's the most criminal criminal. He's murdering people.
Cristina: Murdering people all the time. Yes. So there you go.
Jack: What does f****** Thomas Lane do? There's no f****** clues, man.
Cristina: He is. He.
Jack: Alfred has always been there.
Cristina: So he would know.
Jack: He would know.
Cristina: I don't know. He's like those elves that he gathered a bunch of socks and money happy.
Jack: Steal underwear, something Than money.
Cristina: Steal underwear.
Jack: Yeah. That was soft gnomes.
Cristina: Oh. Oh yeah. That's what they're called. Yes. Maybe that's how he made his fortune.
Jack: Steal underwear, something Money.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Obviously the middle part is Sell it.
Cristina: No. I don't know. Because there's no way he would have been a billionaire if he just sold it.
Jack: Maybe he wasn't selling his own, but he had a bunch of hookers. Or not hookers, but like a bunch of females who'd. Yeah.
Cristina: Their underwear.
Jack: Like he started a Only Fans ring with a bunch of women that would randomly perform for his Only Fans channel. And he would get money from them. But then he'd also sell everything they wore in all of them for dirty other guys to buy. And he built his fortune. Only fans.
Cristina: I don't know. Can you build your fortune off of OnlyFans?
Jack: Maybe. Depends how many underwear maybe. Depends how many people are watching. I bet his Onlyfans is the best Only fans.
Cristina: It is the best Only fans.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: I don't know. That can't be right.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: I don't know. But I checked it anyway and he's a doctor.
Jack: I guess he did not become a billionaire being a doctor though.
Cristina: No. He got it from his father being a doctor. His dad wasn't a doctor. His doctor. His dad wasn't. I don't know what his dad was a business guy. He did business things.
Jack: Business. So sad. We're back where we started. It wasn't Thomas Wayne who was the business guy.
Cristina: No.
Jack: He was a doctor who inherited business guy money.
Cristina: Yes. And then he also invested vested that Business guy, money into businesses.
Jack: Maybe his dad was an investor.
Cristina: Yeah, probably. Yeah. Of technology. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: But that's f****** holes for days because Batman is like 80s so. Well if his father.
Cristina: Ancient technology.
Jack: We're talking like pretty old technology. We're talking like his, his father probably owned a pretty substantial cornfield where he employed black people for really long technology. Like that's how long ago we're talking.
Cristina: And they call that technology? I don't know.
Jack: I don't know man. Old west type of s***.
Cristina: I don't know. Windmills, he early 1900s.
Jack: Windmills create electricity. Not even create electricity, but you know, power places.
Cristina: Yeah, that's technology.
Jack: That's anything is technology.
Cristina: There you go.
Jack: Yeah, glasses are technology. Glasses, Glasses are technology. Oh, it's not electric technology.
Cristina: Yeah, well maybe he was a glasses person, I don't know. But yeah. So the dad of the dad is a business person.
Jack: Maybe he inherited his business money from his dad who was the business guy.
Cristina: No way. Yes.
Jack: Maybe it's a long lineage of. We don't know where this came from, but we all have had it.
Cristina: Yes, but Wayne's dad didn't make the billions from the money he, he was given.
Jack: So Wayne's dad wasn't a billionaire, he just inherited a lot of money.
Cristina: He inherit.
Jack: Yeah, but not billions.
Cristina: No, he turned it into billions.
Jack: And then Bruce Wayne did more with it and made more. Mega billion. Trillion.
Cristina: Google, don't they call him a billionaire? So he didn't do much.
Jack: Okay, what if he inherited like 3 billion? But now he has 300 billion.
Cristina: He's still a billionaire.
Jack: He did a lot.
Cristina: Okay, yeah. Oh, they don't tell us. So how are we supposed to know?
Jack: And there's another thing. I was a while ago checking out the whole rich thing, right, so you could be like a millionaire. You could have $3 million and you're still just a millionaire. But you have to pass the 10 million dollar mark to be a multi millionaire.
Cristina: Oh, then is he a multi billionaire?
Jack: Probably. But my point is like isn't 2 million already multi? Like how are we, where are we drawing the line here and why?
Cristina: I don't know, you have to.
Jack: I don't know why we decided 10. I don't know, just 10. You gotta have more than 10 and then it's multi. So if we go backwards, right?
Jack: There's billion and like you're multi billionaire. You go down, you're multi millionaire and you get to the hundred thousand. You're a multi what?
Cristina: Thousandaire.
Jack: You're thousandaire why don't we say people are thousandaire?
Cristina: Because that's sad. I don't know.
Jack: It probably made sense a long time ago.
Cristina: Thousand.
Jack: He's a thousandaire.
Cristina: No, they would just say he's middle class.
Jack: In like 1800s.
Cristina: Yeah. What did they say that?
Jack: No, that's way upper class. Thousands. A hundred thousand in the 1800s.
Cristina: Million in the upper class back then.
Jack: This is what I mean. You're not middle class back then. A hundred thousand made you upper class. You were rich. So why weren't you like a thousandaire? You thousandaire? No, he's rich.
Cristina: Yeah, I guess.
Jack: You're rich, you are poor.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: You are in poverty.
Cristina: Is that the same?
Jack: I guess. I don't know. People use them differently. You are lower class, you are middle class. You are upper middle class. You are upper class, you are rich, you are millionaire, you are billionaire, you are trillionaire, so on, so forth. The only trillionaire, I believe, are the mega criminals. And the Queen.
Cristina: Yes, she. Yeah. And Batman, probably.
Jack: And Batman, who runs the greatest only fans of all time.
Cristina: We don't know if Batman is the Queen.
Jack: What if Batman is the creator of Onlyfans and he profits off of everybody's sale of their body? And so Bruce Wayne's biggest contribution to the world is OnlyFans. And also his most price earning, like his most financial earner, is also onlyfans because p*** sells.
Cristina: Yes. But does he look like a bat? I'm still confused by that look. Like the bat symbol. But you've never seen a bat that looks like that.
Jack: No, he's some kind of other thing. But also, the flip here is Pinocchio wants to be a real boy.
Cristina: Yes. And we're stuffing him into Frankenstein.
Jack: And we're stuffing him into Frankenstein. Arreola.
Cristina: No.
Jack: Wants to be real girl.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: Or she wants, like, a human soul.
Cristina: Yes. And we gotta feed her a heart.
Jack: Bruce Wayne wants to. Yes, definitely. That's totally how that works. Like, really, sirens just rip out hearts or whatever. And Bruce Wayne wants to be a real bat, except he has no concept of what a bat really is.
Cristina: He has, like a child's drawing of a bat.
Jack: Well, no. He has that one vivid, vivid, way incoherent, single thought of bats. Of bats.
Cristina: Oh, yeah, that's flying. But no one sees that.
Jack: Except him.
Cristina: Except him.
Jack: He modeled the bat. He is after these fictional bats.
Cristina: In his head he say, I am Batman. Or did someone say, hey, that's that guy. We should call him Batman.
Jack: I am the dark, I am the night.
Cristina: Like his symbol. You can say is a bat symbol. But I'm not. I'm saying it's not a bat.
Jack: It is a bat. The bat, when it spreads its wings, kind of looks like that.
Cristina: Okay. I don't know. But it could be anything.
Jack: That's a bat.
Cristina: Is it that it's a bat. Mmm. Whatever. And he only thinks about bats.
Jack: He only thinks about bats. The Joker proves this by putting a machine on Batman.
Cristina: That was the Joker?
Jack: No, it was Riddler. The Riddler tricked Bruce Wayne. Who's. You're so. Also man. You guys are just real mega geniuses who just super stupid at the same time. Your dad died going down crime alley. You, Batman, with a secret of being Batman, show up here as Bruce Wayne, your alter ego, and you go into a machine meant to read your f****** mind. And all that machine sees is bats. Maybe, maybe.
Cristina: Like did he think that that's what the machine. That wasn't what he was told.
Jack: I think so. I think he knew exactly what the machine did.
Cristina: No, I think that it was supposed to put you in dreams or something. It was something supposed to show you.
Jack: Your dreams or something.
Cristina: Or something. Yeah. And it's like, bro, you should know your dreams are bats.
Jack: Not just like, how do you know it's not gonna show them that you're Batman?
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: And like, you got lucky that it for whatever reason, all it did was show them a bunch of f****** bats. Out of context.
Cristina: Like, who would not look at that and be like, that's gotta be Batman.
Jack: Like, look, there's a f****** guy out there who dresses like he doesn't look like a bat. But look, he dresses and calls himself a Batman. He only comes out at night. He's always in black. And f****** Bruce Wayne only sees bats in his. There's no other thought.
Cristina: It's zero so insane. If he wasn't Batman.
Jack: Yes, that's my point. Like, would. You're a f****** idiot for jumping in that machine. Yeah, like, how much crazier are you than Batman if Batman dresses up like a bat, goes around kicking people off buildings saying he's justice and claiming he's the night.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And you're the one who only thinks of bats. No other thought. You go around your day about your day with just.
Cristina: Just plagued.
Jack: Yeah, just bats in the Just plague. Just plagued by thoughts of bats at all times.
Cristina: Maybe Bruce Wayne could say, like, I recently got beat up by Batman or something.
Jack: Now I'm just always.
Cristina: Now I'm scarred by bats. He's just lying. He should have lied and Made Batman look like the bad guy.
Jack: Also. Okay, this is a weird one, right? Because Batman doesn't have any powers.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: But some versions of Batman, he does. No.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: Like, there's Pats. Wherever the f*** he goes.
Cristina: There's what?
Jack: Bats? And it's like, do you. Do you have a power, bro? Do you talk to bats?
Cristina: I don't. He probably just list them out.
Jack: Are they hidden in his suit, like a magic trick?
Cristina: Yeah, just. He's got. Yeah, he's a magician. He got the trick from that guy you said. I always forget his name.
Jack: Joker.
Cristina: Whatever. Yes.
Jack: Seriously. Here's a bat.
Cristina: Yes. He will. Teach him that, right? He's magical. I don't even know. I feel like he sounds magical.
Jack: Have. I don't know.
Cristina: He showed him the tricks of bringing people back to life and just bats, I guess.
Jack: Man. I don't know what the deal with that is. He'll be, like, fighting, and then bats show up. Or he's gonna disappear in a swarm of bats, show up, and surround him. And then the bats spread out, and he's not there. And it's like, are you vampire, bro?
Cristina: He's a vampire.
Jack: Vampire.
Cristina: In that reality, he's a vampire.
Jack: Yo. It's crazy. Obviously. Like, he probably just walked away. But, like, that's the question, dude, because he was standing there, and then bats show up. It's not like he blew up into a cloud of bats, but, like, weird. Weird.
Cristina: He's a billionaire.
Jack: Those. So those are robots?
Cristina: No, he's just got. Oh, yes.
Jack: Those are bat bots.
Cristina: Bat bots? Yep. He's just got billions of bat bots.
Jack: Just watching the whole city.
Cristina: Exactly.
Jack: And we know in the movies, he hacked into the city, everybody's phone, everybody's. Everything. He hacked into everything.
Cristina: He's got bad bots.
Jack: You got bad bots. Cameras everywhere.
Cristina: Bats aren't real.
Jack: Bats aren't real.
Cristina: They're just robots. He's my Batman.
Jack: Birds are probably real. No, he probably just stole the idea from birds. And it's like, I could do that with bats.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Bat bots.
Cristina: Batbots. That's it.
Jack: Of course. We're idiots. Why would we think there's a flying mammal?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: That's so stupid.
Cristina: Well, then what was in his dream? What was in his mind? If those aren't really bats?
Jack: No, because bats aren't real. He had a thought, which was one day, he's obsessed.
Cristina: He created the creature.
Jack: How did Steve Jobs come up with the ipod? And then the ipod led to the iPhone.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: You know? You know.
Cristina: But that's not. I don't know. But music has always been around. I don't know.
Jack: And like, he started on, like, a computer. He was like, imma make the thing. I only got one vision. So if you. If one day Steve Jobs is like, I got a secret identity. Right now I'm just a hippie. You'll never know who I really am. And then the Riddler tricks Steve Jobs to go into this machine. All he sees is, like, a computer screen. He's like, this must be the f****** billionaire Steve Jobs. Because there's a. There's a screen with things on it that aren't.
Cristina: With an apple symbol. Yeah.
Jack: Like, it must be Steve Jobs. This hippie must be Steve Jobs. And so this is the story of Batman, which is like, in sea Bats. In fact, when the Riddler saw all those bats, he's like, what the f*** is this? It looks like a rat with wings. How stupid. How stupid? Look at his imagination. He's probably making fun. How stupid. Look, his imagination. Rats with wings. Is he a child?
Cristina: But he calls himself Batman. So no one thought what bat was in Batman?
Jack: No, they're like, it's f****** crazy guy.
Cristina: Like, they're like, from like, baseball bat.
Jack: Yeah. They're thinking, like, he thinks he's a black baseball bat or some. With wings. It's a flying baseball bat. Look how stupid. And then Bruce Wayne has flying rats. That's why they didn't connect the dots, because it's like a flying rat. That doesn't make sense.
Cristina: That doesn't make sense.
Jack: Yeah, they don't. They don't call it a bat. They don't know that's a bat yet.
Cristina: I rather imagine that he has one magical trick which is just having bats appear out of nowhere.
Jack: No, I think he has bat tech.
Cristina: I know.
Jack: And those are all bat bots. And he summons a swarm of bat bots with AI controlled by, like, a suit or something. Or maybe it's Alfred somewhere. What the. Lucius controlling it from, like, the hacking place that they do hacking? Yeah, like, whatever.
Cristina: But then why a cave? Bats live in caves. Or I guess he made that up.
Jack: Maybe he's. Yeah, he's obsessed with, like, this concept. Really? Really.
Cristina: So he made up the concept that Bath l. Caves.
Jack: Yeah. He's saying bats live in caves outside. So Because. Because my narrative plays out this way.
Cristina: Okay. Everything we know about bats is because he made it up.
Jack: Yeah. First there was Superman.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: In dc.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Then shortly thereafter, Batman was invented. And after that, many years later, when we invented the technology, bats were invented. To be in reality. Okay, so, like, before our time, there were probably no bats.
Cristina: Of course. No bats.
Jack: Bats have only recently been around, but we've been lied to about bats. All that. Have you ever seen a bat?
Cristina: Personally, I think so. Not like close up.
Jack: So you can't prove it's a robot.
Cristina: No, I can't.
Jack: It just looks like a flying rat.
Cristina: Yeah, well, I don't even know.
Jack: It was. So it's too fast and, like, erratic, right?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So you can't focus. It moves in such a way that you can't see it. Be a robot. Of course, because it's a robot.
Cristina: Yeah. Yes, yes.
Jack: Since works.
Cristina: I'd rather he be a magician that does magic with bats. He just turns things into bats.
Jack: That's not a man. I mean, I guess if you. David. Playing it or whatever the. And like, here's me fighting you on a roof.
Cristina: They tie him up in rope and then he just turns the rope into bats or something when he, like, rips it apart.
Jack: Fair.
Cristina: Just rip. And then, you know, bats come out.
Jack: Like, how'd you do that? Yeah, it's like, wait till I show you the next one. Then he just grabs a bottle and eats it.
Cristina: Yeah, and then he spits out of that.
Jack: Yeah, he's exactly. He's like, watch. And he just eats a piece of glass. And that comes out of his mouth.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: It's like, I have. I'm like David Blaine. I could do everything he does, except the ending result is always a bat. Yes, it's always bad.
Cristina: David Blaine is not a magician.
Jack: I mean, he's. No, he isn't magician. He just has a bunch of other lame f****** things he does.
Cristina: His magician stuff is just.
Jack: Look, I know I just beat you and I tied you up. I'm Batman, McKenna. I know, bro. I know you're Batman, doll. You wouldn't have done this otherwise. But watch, watch. Look at the rope around you. I'm gonna eat this bottle, bat. And now for my finale. Look at this giant nail. Here is my hand. I'm gonna put this nail through my hand. And then he starts putting the nail through his hand. And out the other side of his hand, a f****** bat flies out the criminals like, wow, he deserves to go to jail.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: This is impressive.
Cristina: So he shows off his hand. Like, look, there's nothing there but some blood.
Jack: Not even. Look, if I wipe it off, there's no more hole or anything.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: How'd I do it? How do I do it? He's got them confused until the cops show up.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: It's like. Got him. Got him. Colonel, they're right here. I got them.
Cristina: They're very confused. Yeah.
Jack: They're plotting and everything, like. Yeah, yeah. They're getting arrested. She's like. This is impressive. Impressive.
Cristina: Has he shown the police his tricks? No.
Jack: They don't know how he catches them.
Cristina: No. His magic trick.
Jack: No, that's not what I mean. He doesn't show the police. The police doesn't know how Batman stops and subdues crime. Yeah. He just shows up and awesome with f****** magic trick has all their attentions.
Cristina: Awesome. Yes. I hope that. Why is there a version? There's probably a version. We made that a version now.
Jack: Yes. This is new Batman.
Cristina: This is the new Batman.
Jack: We're gonna do everything we can to buy the rights for one film and a comic book series.
Cristina: To do comic books.
Jack: We do both.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: A series of graphic novels and a television animated show and a live action television show, all based on batgician Bagician.
Cristina: The Batition.
Jack: The bagician.
Cristina: Won't we be sued because it's just Batman, but he does magic.
Jack: We're not gonna be sued. We're gonna buy the rights to Batman to bat Jason.
Cristina: Okay. We can't look like Batman.
Jack: He's gonna look exactly Batman. It is Batman. It's just exactly the origin story and everything. Thomas Wayne and everything.
Cristina: We didn't even change the names. No, it's all the same.
Jack: Bruce Wayne, the bad dish.
Cristina: We're gonna. They're not gonna have a problem with that.
Jack: Nope. Because we're gonna get the rights.
Cristina: How are they gonna let us get the rights?
Jack: We buy. We pay money. They all. Everybody reacts to money.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: That's how people have made different versions of Batman.
Cristina: That's how we're gonna do it. Okay.
Jack: That's how it goes. So you do Batman.
Cristina: That's me.
Jack: Also the bad gician.
Cristina: The magician.
Jack: Anyways, Anyways. So conclusion. You guys now know the true story about Batman. He runs an only fans. That's where he gets his money. He invented only fans. And he does magic tricks to catch all the criminals and, like, trick them until the cops show up. And also he wants. His one true vision is to become a bat. And also, bats don't exist because he made them up. And Little mermaid wants a soul. He likes to show off magic. The mermaid wants a soul. And we got to stuff Pinocho into Frankenstein so that he could wear a meat suit.
Cristina: Yeah. That's disturbing.
Jack: Yeah. What it was. There wasn't. I don't know what the. It was it might have been like a meat canyon cartoon or something where he, like, cut somebody and like, crawled in their body or something, I think.
Cristina: So was it Pinocchio that did that? Yeah, I feel like.
Jack: No, Pinocchio was like a demon of some sort.
Cristina: Yeah, but was he inside of someone?
Jack: No, I don't. Maybe it might have been. I don't know. It's been a while since Hunter was on this show. That was like three seasons ago. We gotta get Hunter back on the show. Get Hunter. I'm gonna see. Get Hunter Hancock to come back, talk about meat canyon and all that stuff, how it's blown up since. Since then. That'd be cool. Hunter's cool. Chill guy. Anyways, so if you guys like this conversation, which was absolutely absurd, but, you know, they're all absolutely absurd, you can find more of that on the official website greathoughts.info or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or anywhere you get your podcast, pretty much.
Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok. UsConvopod.
Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe, rate and review the show, which are all very important and great and fantastic. And find me on stereo.
Cristina: Yes. And let someone who might like this show know about it.
Jack: Yeah, Word of mouth. You know, the power of discussion. Tell people you know the true story behind Batman. Now this is the real story.
Cristina: This is. Yes, Replace the old version of Batman and everything you knew about him.
Jack: Yeah. Forget everything you know about Batman. Now this is Batman.
Cristina: What?
Jack: This is Batman. Who's Batman? Right. Because you forgot everything you know about Batman.
Cristina: Everything you know except for his name. Except for not calling him Batman, man.
Jack: That's an old Mitch Hedberg joke. Forget everything you know about burgers. Now here is a burger. What's that? He forgot everything he knew about burgers. It wasn't about burgers, though. I don't remember what the f***.
Cristina: What happened in SpongeBob.
Jack: It did.
Cristina: Something like that happened, but I forget.
Jack: He forgot how to make Krabby Patties.
Cristina: Yes. Because he had to remember how to run a restaurant.
Jack: Did I just cross spongebob with Mitch Head?
Cristina: Maybe. I don't know.
Jack: Check out Mitch Hedberg. Shout out. Great comedian.
Cristina: Well, tell him we said hi.
Jack: Yeah, tell Mitch Hedberg, like, I mean, what's it called?
Cristina: Luigi board.
Jack: A Luigi board. Use a little full circle. We started with Mario and Full Circle. Use a Luigi board.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Use that Luigi to get to Mitch Hedberg on the other side of the ether.
Cristina: This has been the Just Conversation podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening.
Jack: Bye. I mean, of course you've heard of a cugnugh fugot.
Cristina: Where have I heard of that?
Jack: You heard it in school. They taught you what a cugnugh fug it was?
Cristina: No, that's not a real word.
Jack: How do you know?
Cristina: None of that sounds familiar.
Jack: You're telling me that in no language cugnug fuggit is a real word?
Cristina: No.
Jack: Like factually, you believe there's no combination of words in all of language that equates to kug nug fugit?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: It sounds like gibberish.
Jack: So does a bunch of other s*** that we don't understand.
Cristina: But you don't know what? That. That's not a word that you know what. What language is that?
Jack: Kugnug fugit is.
Cristina: What does it mean? Use it in a sentence.
Jack: You want me to use kugnug fugit in a sentence, huh?
Cristina: Well, first define it.
Jack: Kugnug fugit.
Cristina: The definition.
Jack: The definition of kugnug. F*** it. I don't know, man. I don't speak that language.
Cristina: And when have you heard of it?
Jack: I've heard it used repeatedly to insult me. It's an insult in some language.
Cristina: What language?
Jack: A language. I don't know every language. I couldn't tell you.
Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The Just Conversation podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by Great Thoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister with social media managed by Amber Black.