Rambling 205: Snowmen and Santa
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What is bringing Snowmen to life? Is Santa somehow related? Does Frosty have arms or legs? The duo investigates the relationship between Santa and Frosty in order to answer these pressing questions and more.
+Episode Details
Topics Discussed:
- Frosty
- Santa
- Magic
- Elves
- Snow
- Killer Snowmen
- Michael Keaton’s Jack Frost
- Snowman Mobility
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+Transcript
Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean?
Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I'm your host, Jack.
Cristina: And I'm your host, Christina.
Jack: And this is the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. I guess.
Cristina: You guess? I guess what?
Jack: I suppose that's what we do.
Cristina: Are we changing things up?
Jack: Sure. Yeah. Monumental changes. All of the changes that have ever existed.
Cristina: What are the changes? You know, the changes already.
Jack: No, but everything's always changing gradually in tiny little increments. But. But today is some point in December.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: A day of December, you could say. Okay, yeah, a December day. Mid December day, probably early December. Or is it middle? Middle is mid December. It's a mid December day.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And snow is on its way.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Christmas is around the corner.
Cristina: Whether you're gonna continue rhyming.
Jack: I don't know. I was thinking about it, but I don't know what to put there.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: But snow's around the corner.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And we need to go out of something with. Oh, okay. But when we do do that, we need to. I'm thinking. Right. I'm thinking we're talking about Santa Claus and we're talking about cryogenics and, like, the positive. Like, frozen people.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: And I'm like, look, we can. Snow's coming. Snow's gonna come all over the place. Snow's definitely gonna come all over the place. And this is an interesting opportunity for us to capture ourselves a frosty. Whatever that might be.
Cristina: The snowman. You want to catch the snowman?
Jack: Well, Frosty Jack Frost. Any. Any of these living snow people snow. They must one. All things considered. Doesn't that just mean. I was thinking, like, it's gonna snow. Since you're, like, gonna spawn around us.
Cristina: They have to make them.
Jack: I don't know. Is that part of the thing? You gotta make them?
Cristina: I think so. They don't make themselves.
Jack: Like there aren't. Just a bit interesting. This would make all of them asexual. I guess it would have to be. And they just make other snowmen. That's why there's more. Unless all the snowmen ever made just run away and join a village of snow people.
Cristina: Yes, but they're always men. They're not asexual. Wait, asexual?
Jack: I mean, yeah, there's no. There's no gender. I guess that's wrong somehow. That's incorrect because there's no females. There's. How do you determine it's a male?
Cristina: It Knows that's probably. It's private. We don't know.
Jack: Interesting point, interesting point. This takes me back to the year was 1817 or something. And scary movie was happening. And the alien cannot have happened that long ago. The alien shook hands with the guy and then like stuck his hand in the guy's mouth or whatever. And then it turns out he pees through his finger.
Cristina: Oh, yes.
Jack: That's his p****.
Cristina: Yes. Okay. I think I remember something like that. Yeah.
Jack: Yeah. This is related.
Cristina: One of those scary movies. It was not 18 something.
Jack: It was probably the third or fourth. 1800s.
Cristina: Scary movie.
Jack: 1800S. What was the earliest movie made?
Cristina: 19. 200. 2000. 2000.
Jack: The earliest movie came out in the year 2000?
Cristina: Yes, that's my guess.
Jack: That's your guess?
Cristina: Yeah. What's your guess? You're really thinking 18, 1912. What are you talking about?
Jack: The earliest movie?
Cristina: Oh, I thought you meant scary movie.
Jack: Oh, no, just movie in general.
Cristina: Oh, I would say.
Jack: Okay, first your question and my question.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Scary movie one, 2001.
Cristina: Okay, that makes sense, right?
Jack: Yeah. 2001. That's my. That's my guess.
Cristina: That was what I was gonna say. I wasn't talking about the first movie. Why would I think the first. The first movie came. That's not scary movie 2000. 2000. Is that my guess? I think that was my guess.
Jack: Yeah, that was your guess. 2000. My guess was 2001.
Cristina: The first movie, though.
Jack: The first movie ever, I believe happened nine. Early 1900s.
Cristina: 1800.
Jack: Think it's 1800s. I am convinced. I say, like I said, 1912. What's your guess?
Cristina: 1850.
Jack: Your guess is 18.
Cristina: 1850. No, that's not a person. That's a person. First freaking movie.
Jack: 1888. Oh, 1888.
Cristina: Oh, look at that. Okay, I wasn't that far off. I said 1850.
Jack: 1850. I think I was closer than you were, I guess. Well, maybe.
Cristina: Maybe 18.
Jack: Yeah, I said 1912. So how far away are you? That would have been 40 to get there. So that's 38. And I.
Cristina: We might have been as far as each other.
Jack: No, I was 32. You were 38.
Cristina: That is not far off.
Jack: That's far off enough.
Cristina: That's six, four years.
Jack: The six years difference. Where's your math at?
Cristina: 30. Oh, yeah. Six years. Six years. Yeah. Yes.
Jack: The six year difference. I was closer by a significant. It wasn't like one. It was notable.
Cristina: Mmm.
Jack: It was like, hey, it's obvious.
Cristina: I feel like if most people guesstimated, it would be not far off from either of us.
Jack: So you think. No, I think people would guess, like, 1940, on average.
Cristina: 1940.
Jack: That's my bet.
Cristina: Yeah, I guess.
Jack: I think that's where people will be like, oh, yeah, sure. Around. Around the world wars. Was there film before the world wars? People don't know. People don't know things. I was still wrong.
Cristina: You're both wrong.
Jack: You thought you were living in a steampunk reality.
Cristina: How wasn't that awful? I. My first numbers were the same.
Jack: Your first numbers were the same.
Cristina: One and eight. I got it there.
Jack: Yeah. Fair.
Cristina: Fair.
Jack: I had no numbers in the comments.
Cristina: Exactly. That's what makes me closer. Okay. No, not. Yeah, but what are you talking about? Which snowman?
Jack: Yeah. So we're gonna catch any kind of snowman. That would be the ultimate, most awesome goal because we got a bunch of things, and I think it would be cool if we could catch one of those things, but I'm not sure what those things are. So I figured we could start learning about what snow is, and that might figure out what the h*** a living snow beings. It's. Man. My question is, here's a thought, right? Christmas Day, Santa Claus is flying around instantaneously because he stopped all of time, making him crazy, overpowered. And in this day, that takes him a literal year to accomplish. Even with magic. He literally visits without outrans every house on Earth, Right.
Cristina: He's in the Speed Force. Like, he's not doing it, like, instantaneously. It takes him a whole day.
Jack: It takes him a year.
Cristina: It takes him a year.
Jack: It takes him a year, but he does it in what looks to us like a day. But he stopped time.
Cristina: Oh, that's what you're thinking.
Jack: He's so overpowered. Yeah. He still has to travel.
Cristina: Do you think he wasted a whole year of his life to do this?
Jack: He lives forever, I guess.
Cristina: But what kind of time warping is that? He's doing a year, but it's for us, one day.
Jack: Yeah. Isn't that how God time works? Like, it felt like a year happened to him, so he managed to do that much s***. But to us, a single day went by. That's how fast, by comparison, he moves.
Cristina: But would that be like fear of the flash? Like, would it feel that way? How long does it take for him to travel? Like, does it feel a year?
Jack: I don't know. That's an interesting question, right? That is interesting here. Does somebody. Do speedsters age faster?
Cristina: I don't think they do, though.
Jack: I don't know.
Cristina: Because he's so. I don't know. They don't age him, so it's hard to tell if he's aging. Like, if they saw him, took him to the doctor. How old is his body?
Jack: I don't know. But if Santa Claus lives forever, who lives forever?
Cristina: Doesn't matter how old his body is.
Jack: In this one year's time in his travels, Maybe his sleigh. I don't know what. Something is releasing the magic. It could be him intentionally going up the snowman and being like, boom, now you got life. Maybe his sleigh is just sprinkling magic over random places. When it hits a snowman, boom, it got life.
Cristina: Oh, that could be it.
Jack: Don't know. It could be any. It could be anything. They could just be like, if you make a snowman round enough or some s***. Maybe Earth has a spel spellcast on and like, boom, it just comes to life. I don't know.
Cristina: I don't think he's purposely making snowmen, though.
Jack: Why? You don't think that's part of his army? He has elves. Did he make elves? Did he make deals with elves?
Cristina: Yeah, probably. Why would he need snowmen?
Jack: You think he made them or he made deals with them? Snowmen, no.
Cristina: Elves deals, probably. I don't think he made them, but I don't think he has anything to do with snowmen.
Jack: But I also think he's so overpowered, maybe he could make elves. I don't know. Well, his power is mainly knowledge, and that's so overpowered. Knowledge and immortality and some.
Cristina: Some sort of time making elves.
Jack: But why would there be stories? This setup could have existed before anybody knew about it. And when they found out, like, the history of it was already lost. How long must have Santa Claus have been working in secrecy before anybody conceived of him. And it's probably somebody who was there and ran away. He was rural as f***.
Cristina: Nobody's finding him just a type of fairy. Why would he be making them elves?
Jack: I don't. Are we sure they're a type of fairy? That's the question, right?
Cristina: Yes, for sure. I think so.
Jack: His elves. North Pole elves. I think here's a problem. They're just tiny people, but they're magical tiny people, but they're also abnormally tiny. They're like below dwarf.
Cristina: Elves are like, very. I don't know.
Jack: But these are elves like the other elves. Elves are usually really tall.
Cristina: No.
Jack: Yeah. Elvens are very tall.
Cristina: Leprechauns, I don't. There's fairies.
Jack: The leprechaun is not an elf.
Cristina: It's a type of fairy. They're all types of fairies.
Jack: No, yeah, I know. The leprechaun is definitely a type of fairy.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: That's unrelated to a North Pole elf.
Cristina: Yeah. Which could be different from other elves that are tall. Like, it could be a different tree or whatever.
Jack: Wait, so you're saying even like Lord of the Ring elves are fairies?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: They don't have magic. Do they have magic?
Cristina: I don't know if they have magic, but they're a type of fairy.
Jack: Wait, no. But like, a signature thing of fairiness is magic. You can't just be a fairy and not have magic. Then where the. Like, what are you then how.
Cristina: They're all. But if you look at the lore of Ireland, all the different creatures, they're all just types of fairies, which are elves and dwarves and leprechauns and all that stuff.
Jack: Yes, but when they mean elves, they mean Lord of the Ring elves, not Santa Claus elves. This is what I'm thinking. I'm thinking it's like the problem with calling a Native American an Indian and somebody from India an Indian is because one Native American is the right word here.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: That allows also the distinction of. Well, then when you say Indian, you mean those people. That's the same logic that's happening here.
Cristina: But there are some elves that behave like the elves in the North Pole. Like the ones that want to fix your shoes.
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: Aren't they almost the same in that way that they just want to make something?
Jack: But is that an elf or a dwarf?
Cristina: I don't know. It's a fairy. It's a tiny.
Jack: It's a fairy. That's what I'm saying. That's a fairy type. That's a fairy for sure. But that's just a tiny person. Stop generalizing tiny people. He is just a tiny person with magic. That doesn't necessarily mean that the tiny people with magic that we're calling elves are one even related to fairy elves. I think Santa Claus is using the wrong word. Or this is human error.
Cristina: Human error.
Jack: And we're calling them elves. But they're not elves. There's some other s***, because I don't this. We're hard pressed to even believe they're biological.
Cristina: What do you mean?
Jack: Like, are they living things?
Jack: If you were to kill an elf, do you kill an elf? If you rip it open, is your blood is like. Or is it like a drone?
Cristina: I don't know. Because they are just making stuff. Do they eat? Do they sleep? Do they drink? I don't know. They do anything. Do they do anything?
Jack: Are they all Edward Scissorhands? Interesting. We don't actually know.
Cristina: Okay, okay.
Jack: We know so little about those. Which in any case, if Santa Claus did make a bunch of elves, this is entire point of this was to say that he wouldn't. He could be out there also making a bunch of snowmen.
Cristina: But why? I don't know, because like snowmen makes sense. If Santa Claus couldn't see already what you're doing, but he already has that power. And that would be the power of snowman to see what you're doing. Yeah. Like, yeah, if he were to use the snowman.
Jack: You're saying snowmen are watchtowers?
Cristina: Yes. If he didn't already have the ability to know everything. Exactly.
Jack: Everything.
Cristina: So then what's the point? Why would he need snowmen? Like, what else could he use them for? That would be the reason to use them.
Jack: I don't know. Why would that be the only reason? Maybe.
Cristina: Oh, that's all he was acting of.
Jack: He could be. That could be his equivalent of Krampus. And it's like the. Think about it. None of these snowmen turn out well. There's just a lot of bad news attached to snow. Sentient snowman.
Cristina: I haven't heard of any.
Jack: There's only one. The hero. The hero of the snowman.
Cristina: You only hear the good story.
Jack: Frosty the Snowman.
Cristina: He's a friendly snowman.
Jack: Yeah, he's the only one.
Cristina: What about Jack Frost? He said Jack Frost.
Jack: Jack Frost is a killer.
Cristina: No, he's not. Yeah, he's just a dad who died and became a snowman. That's not him.
Jack: Oh, you were thinking. Thinking Michael Keaton comedy dad. I guess. That's all. I guess. Okay, fair enough. There's two. Fair enough. There's two good snowmen.
Cristina: Okay, there you go.
Jack: But every other snowman is a murderer.
Cristina: How many other snowmen are there?
Jack: Well, there's Jack Frost, I guess. The alternate universe.
Cristina: Jack Frost that murders.
Jack: Yeah, he's a killer. The original Jack Frost is a horror movie.
Cristina: He's an actual snowman.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: And he actually goes around killing people.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: What?
Jack: You see, there's a bunch of them.
Cristina: But are there more than there are of good snowmen? And also, what would be the purpose of having evil snowmen?
Jack: What do you mean? What would be the purpose of having evil snowmen?
Cristina: Santa Claus having good snowmen and bad snowmen. What would be the purpose?
Jack: I think probably they're made to be bad. That's why. That's the majority the minority would be where he goes wrong. I don't think he'd be doing something in which it's.
Cristina: But why would he need them?
Jack: I don't know.
Cristina: Because he already has Krumpus.
Jack: Is he working with Krampus or is that guy trying to steal business?
Cristina: No, they work together for a fact. Yes. He tells him who are the bad kids.
Jack: Right. Krampus is like his assistant or something. Yeah, or his first in command. Assistant is a demeaning word for his job. He is the first in command.
Cristina: So then why would he need snowmen? Like.
Jack: Yes, they must be performing. They must be performing different jobs.
Cristina: I don't think he'd want people dead though.
Jack: Maybe he's not killing them. So then let's think about it. Let's think about it. That would be the logical next step. We know children make them okay. What is the importance is that the Santa Claus also make them screw. How they come to life? Where are they being built? Does he spawn them as snowmen? And kids are imitating what they've seen. Is that what's happening? They got passed through tradition. Is that part of his mind fuckery? Like getting everybody scared?
Cristina: She has nothing to do with these snowmen.
Jack: Why?
Cristina: The first snowman had nothing to do. Like what story links snowmen to Santa? If you watch their history.
Jack: Besides, imagine the fact that it's happening on Christmas.
Cristina: It's not just happening on Christmas. It just happens to happen around the Christmas time because. No.
Jack: So you're telling me Frosty only forms when there's snow? Not when there's snow on Christmas?
Cristina: No, definitely not. It's probably before Christmas. Not on the exact Christmas day. He's around long enough to see Christmas Day probably hold up.
Jack: Maybe not.
Cristina: Maybe not.
Jack: Maybe not. There's a song we can actually reference. And we know all the people who write music are connected to the dark world one way or another. But I'm thinking of white Christmas. They're already discussing hoping for snow on Christmas day. That's an actual. That's a point in which two things have crossed.
Cristina: But do they mention Frosty? Like what does that relate.
Jack: Well, all we know is Christmas plus snow. What other instance of snow do we have? Is there something else weird happening with snow? Because he's mentioning Christmas, which is the weird day and snow. The only thing we know relative to snow is snowmen as of now. So something about snowman and Christmas. Boom. That's where they gain life. An assumption, I'm guessing.
Cristina: What? Okay.
Jack: But that's the only connection we have.
Cristina: I Don't think so. I don't know that it's weird. I don't think because they don't. They're around when Christmas happens, but I don't think it relates.
Jack: I think every story involving a killer snowman is happening nearest not just when it snowed. We're not talking January 15th. We're talking always. Always like a day before or of Christmas. Always, I assure you. Okay, so I'm right about before, but.
Cristina: Yeah, it happens a week before Christmas.
Jack: Interesting. Did I guess why was before? Is there an instance of after? Is there like a January?
Cristina: No, I don't think so. It has to be December. There's something magical about the month December. Yes, because Christmas. It has to do with Christmas. But I don't know if it has to do with Santa because also Jesus is.
Jack: Yeah, the Christmas is only a special day that was originally chosen in order to celebrate Jesus in some manner, shape or form. And it had nothing to do in the first first place with Santa Claus. I think that was superimposed later.
Cristina: Exactly.
Jack: So it's December. There's something about December.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: But there is a guy who turned out to be Santa Claus. That's happening. He just happens. So whoever the h*** is Santa Claus is also using the magic of this just takes it more likely than it really is. Probably just St. Nicholas and he figured out some hole in the matrix. He figured out the fear system and he also figured out to do it on the most exaggeratedly magical month.
Cristina: Oh, duh. Okay.
Jack: Thus maximizing his.
Cristina: It's magical and prob.
Jack: Now here's a. Holy s***. Okay, now I'm convinced these aren't real elves. Like Elvens. I think that they are just magic. And here's the horrifying part of it. They probably only exist during December. And then they're just f****** blinked out. Because the magic that's keeping them, that's sustaining them, is just gone.
Cristina: You're saying it takes them just December to make the presents? It takes them 25 days or 24 days? 23.23days to make everything. That's kind of crazy. That's intense.
Jack: How many of them must there be to supply the world?
Cristina: But how is he getting that much magic? That's crazy.
Jack: It's the month he somehow figured. So we're talking about a super mega genius who's cracked so many different approaches to getting magic and energy through every mean all the means possible. Thus becoming the most godly God. But having existed only 200 years, maybe 300 at most.
Cristina: But you still think he's connected to the snowman.
Jack: I do.
Cristina: But why?
Jack: Because. I don't know. Somehow it's been connected to Christmas. Somehow. Some. There is at least the loosest connection. That's for a fact. I know that's a fact.
Cristina: Because it's the same month.
Jack: It's connected to the same month. For sure. They're both things in December.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: But Christmas and Frosty the Snowman song and White Christmas, talking about snow and like, there's. There's a really loose connection about something involving snowmen or snow. At least snow, bare minimum. But there's magical month, and there's this weird day also. What the h*** is happening on the 25th? It's Christmas. But what energy source is beneath this that makes it the most optimal day for Santa? That's another thing we haven't thought about.
Cristina: What.
Jack: What's happening with 25 December that makes it the. Like, that's the peak.
Cristina: It's actually December 4th. Because the kids are praying on December 4th for their gifts.
Jack: No, I'm saying when he delivers them.
Cristina: Because when he delivers them, there's no magic. There's nothing. The optimum would be beforehand. That's giving him all the energy. The kids the day before, stressing, praying, hoping, all the stuff that they've been.
Jack: No, no. He's been gathering energy the entire time.
Cristina: Yeah. It's so much more the day before.
Jack: Well, he still hoards that energy rather than using it. Something about the. I think the 25th. Because you're not going to use that energy and then wait for the 25th. You want all of it. You use the bare minimum to hear their prayers and everybody. You see everything. Well, I guess you're always doing that part. Yeah, but then you need to get it. You need to stop all of time, get everywhere, all at the same time. In what seems like the switch between 11:59 and 12:00am the next morning, December 24 and December 25, in that change from one minute to another, you need to have began and ended your entire journey. That's when you need the energy. When people are like, am I gonna get the coal?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Or am I gonna get the gift? As opposed to when you're praying for. You're like. Well, now you're hopeful. You're also thinking about.
Cristina: But there's no way. Frosty. I just can't think that the snowman, because they're killers, he's not interested in blood sacrifices. As long as. As we can tell, Sansa is not a bloodthirsty monster like everything else. Unless he is. Because then that's what Frosty would say. That's like if he was in control of Frosty.
Jack: Okay, okay. No, you're totally right. Interesting point, Interesting point. Alright, so maybe, maybe he's not related in the way we think he's related. So he is related, but he didn't make them. Think about it like this. Just because he doesn't need to take a life doesn't mean he gives a s*** about life. Those are two very different things. Now he has come across this amazing energy source that makes him overpowered. There's no threat to him, period. Yeah, most overpowered anything that's ever existed. And maybe he didn't make the elves either. Maybe that there. He cut them in on the deal, right?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Okay, why wouldn't he cut in the snowmen? Maybe they're just coming to life. Maybe that's how it works. I don't know. Maybe there's different ways of reproducing. I don't understand how it works. But maybe a perfect enough snowman just, you know, poof, I'm alive now. And maybe in order to sustain themselves, they need to have blood that immediately gives them the immortality and they won't melt away or something.
Cristina: I don't know. Because that would just mean he is a blood drinking monster too.
Jack: No, that doesn't mean he's a blood drinking monster. Why would that mean he is?
Cristina: He'd be cool. Why?
Jack: Why would he care?
Cristina: I don't know. The cloud people care because it just gives them a bad name. So wouldn't the snowman give him a bad name?
Jack: Well, you just entirely defended their division, which seems to be working. So if they do work together, at least it's working that they're keeping it secret.
Cristina: Ah, okay.
Jack: So there's no problem whose image is being ruined if you come, you yourself saw no connection between them, so that whatever they're hiding it. Well, they have successfully completed their mission. Okay, so he can still, you know, and it's more fear for him.
Cristina: Yes, but then would he not want that blood too?
Jack: He's not gonna mess himself up. He stays in control by not having the. The adrenochrome is the problem. Creatures that live off of the fear are still themselves.
Cristina: Creatures that what?
Jack: Creatures that live off of fear alone are just fine. Yeah, they don't change, they don't alter.
Cristina: No, we don't. There's stories about evil Santas out there too. So was that Krampus? And people are getting them confused.
Jack: Well, the argument would be people are in Disbelief of Santa and are like, that's. That must be some other thing. That's not Santa Claus. But maybe like he's f****** God, dude. What the h*** does he care enter your house and kill you as much as enter your house and leave your present. It's all the same to him.
Cristina: Okay. What?
Jack: He relies on the fear which requires the vast majority of people to be alive. But he could just be like, screw this town. I'mma just extinct everybody here.
Cristina: I guess he could do that.
Jack: Like why? Who's stopping him? Why would he care that they're trying to stop him? Boom. Slowed down time around you. Now there's nothing you could do.
Cristina: Yeah, but still, it's really hard to imagine the Snowman and him having to do with anything with each other. But it's possible. But I just. There's no stories of them hanging out, is there?
Jack: No, but we do know that there's a lot of north poliness to Frosty and stuff like that, so. And all these things about Santa Claus and Frosty hanging out, there are like images. There are, you know, ideas people have had about hanging out. Where are they getting these ideas from? Where does again, there's something planted the seed.
Cristina: But he also seems to be hanging out with magical deers and yes, the snowman guy. Not the snowman, the Bigfoot, but snowy.
Jack: Oh, wait, Yeti.
Cristina: Yeti the friend. The snowman.
Jack: I mean Santa, the abominable snowman. Yeah, yeah, that's Yeti. Okay, so yeah, so Santa Claus hangs out with magical things consistently.
Cristina: But does that mean he's making them?
Jack: Well, no, at this point we're thinking he's not making them. This is just a different creature. These creatures. Creatures are becoming sentient and they are maintaining their life force through adrenochrome.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: That'S the trick. And he. Santa directs them. Not necessarily directs them, but you know, on this magical month, I will cut you in on the fear thing. And there's. I mean, I guess here's a problem, right? Somebody like Frosty is benefiting off of the fear. That's his connection to Santa Claus. But somebody like Jack Frost, the murderer, not the dad, go. I mean, I guess a murderer could be a dad too. Yeah, I guess it's the same s***. But anyways, point being that Jack Frost the murderer could in theory just have gone rogue and just like f*** it. We're all. There's probably a bunch of them. There's probably a bunch of so many snowmen. Some of them have to be killers and they have to. We spot Those?
Cristina: Yeah, that's all that's happening. No one takes care of them in the snow world or whatever. There's no policing.
Jack: Well, no. Then we'd see snowmen chasing snowmen in the streets. Those snowmen are taking blood. Where is the only place they can take blood from? They can't eat an elf. An elf is maybe just magic.
Cristina: Yeah. And Sam, what about the deer?
Jack: Are the deer deer? Are the deer magic?
Cristina: Because they could be magical deer that they would still have blood.
Jack: Yeah, but then are they more creatures?
Cristina: Not bloody.
Jack: Are they more magical than the snowmen? Because I'm pretty sure. And like, wouldn't that make them way too overpowered if they had magic? D***. I would have considered magic. Adrenochrome.
Cristina: What does that mean? Isn't adrenochrome magical?
Jack: Well, adrenochrome gives abilities. I don't know if it's magical, but if you had the adrenaline filled blood of a magical creature, that's way different than just having the adrenaline filled blood of a non magical creature.
Cristina: No, no, because then they'd be hunting each other. Like why would they be interested in us at all if we're like nothing compared to them? If they got the good blood first.
Jack: The snowmen don't have blood.
Cristina: No, I'm talking about magical creatures in general. Anything that comes from the other place doesn't have blood. You're saying none of those things have blood?
Jack: Yeah, because it's not even really a physical place.
Cristina: Or what about the things here that have adrenochrome? They're not like out killing each other. They're just getting more. Attacking people. Regular people.
Jack: Yeah. So this is the trick. This is the trick. You're talking about a creature that had blood that wasn't magical. It was just adrenochrome then eating the blood of a different creature that's had adrenochrome but also isn't magical. That's very different than tasting adrenochrome made of the blood of something magical. I'm sure those things probably just kill each other or just other magical things.
Cristina: But then the deers would be killing each other. Right? Because then what's the point?
Jack: I'm sure they've killed. Gotten rid of any. I'm sure in those cases they get rid of them almost instantaneously. We have seen cases of that. Think of the clouds.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: They make sure the problem isn't their problem.
Cristina: But it's not supposed to use new deers every year. Because that's gonna be a problem.
Jack: No. Why are There. Deer just actively drinking blood because aren't.
Cristina: They attracted to it? I don't know.
Jack: What? They're just magic?
Cristina: They're just magic.
Jack: Why would. Is he injecting them with a. I don't understand how they're getting the first taste and then immediately becoming addicted.
Cristina: That's not how it works. I don't know.
Jack: No, they're just deer. Where do we get to the deers taking hella adrenochrome.
Cristina: Okay. I don't know. They're. They're not adrenochrome deers. Okay.
Jack: No, the snowmen are maybe.
Cristina: Maybe. Okay.
Jack: The ones who are killing, at least.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: Or maybe there's something particular about the people they're killing. Maybe they're moral. Maybe this is a moral act, and we're like, oh, they're evil for killing, but it's like, maybe they're killing killers. I don't know. Maybe they're Dexter.
Cristina: No, I don't think so. I don't know. Nah. Because then that makes it feel like then, yeah, they're working for Santa.
Jack: If they're killing killers.
Cristina: Yes. If they're killing for the good and Santa likes to punish bad and do good for good, they'd be doing that.
Jack: He sounds more like Baphomet to some degree. He's just very fair. If you're a douche, I will be a douche back to you. If you're kind, I will be kind to you.
Cristina: Yeah, but if he has the snowmen doing the same thing, well, maybe there's.
Jack: Extra bad and then there's extra good. The elves are the creatures that make the thing. Whatever you can imagine imagine, they'll come up with. Meanwhile, the snowmen, whatever nightmare you can have, they'll recreate Freddy Krueger style.
Cristina: I don't know how many people are.
Jack: Horrified of snowmen, the ones getting murdered by them.
Cristina: There's not that many evil snowmen.
Jack: Well, we don't know that that's a question. We just know about the famous ones. How many don't we know about?
Cristina: Oh, I don't know, because I guess they can't really be everywhere anyway, because even in places that snow, you still need enough snow.
Jack: Yes. They'll only show up when there's enough snow, and then they immediately begin their journey the f*** out of there to somewhere. Like, there are two locations that they go. Up north or down south of Earth. Yeah, that's where they live. They have to go there. So the journey begins immediately, and it is like baby turtles. When baby turtles are born.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And it's like, huge probability they're not making it.
Cristina: The majority down south, that's too much hot before the cold.
Jack: Well, no, the ones down south would be going down south from the south of the equator. That would be the nearest cold spot for them.
Cristina: Okay. But they gotta travel through water in.
Jack: Most cases, even up here. North. Most of us have to travel through water to get to the most north. North.
Cristina: I guess. Don't know.
Jack: But they'll figure it out. Boats and s***. They'll still be. They'll still be. I don't know. I don't think it's like. Like a silver surfer type of abilities that he could just create an ice surface.
Cristina: It's actually probably just ice up there to travel through.
Jack: Yeah, he's probably just looking like, sliding over ice.
Cristina: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's weird because, like, why wouldn't the penguins kill them?
Jack: Well, no, it depends, man. Maybe the penguins are used to this.
Cristina: Penguins are just.
Jack: It's possible the penguins are further out in the North Pole. But no, because they're still protecting from people getting at least to Santa. And Santa should be dead center. And then is the other side of.
Cristina: The wall, the snowman. I mean, the penguins aren't protecting Santa. They're protecting people from crossing.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: The outer.
Jack: Into the humans.
Cristina: Humans? Oh, just humans.
Jack: Yeah. We cross all the time, huh?
Cristina: Yes. Yes. Okay.
Jack: Humans. Just humans.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: It's important that humans don't know the truth. I don't know why, but it's in. It's beyond our pay grade. Okay, but humans are supposed to just be ignorant to things.
Cristina: But.
Jack: Yeah. So the snowmen make the trek. That's interesting. Right? So they're born a kid. Unwilling group of kids. Unwilling unknowing. Unknowing group of children make a snowman.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And it's perfect enough. And it's just sitting there. And then one kid is like, oh, I know what to do. Put a hat on it.
Cristina: And then.
Jack: And then for whatever. It's a hat. That gives him magic, right? Some combination.
Cristina: Some combination, yes. But those are good snowmen. Bad snowmen are more like Chucky the doll.
Jack: Well, maybe those are the killers. Maybe it's not adrenochrome. Maybe it's deformity and retardation or something. You know, maybe it's just a crazy monster of some sort of. He's just an animal.
Cristina: An animal?
Jack: Yeah. Some sort of a feral creature. I guess that's because it's made incorrectly. And then the closer to perfect you are. The more round, the more precise, the more like sentience you have. Maybe that's the bar. Right. The genetic handout. Their genetic handout is. Well, one, that makes every human that's ever made a snowman God.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And two, that is the. The level of the human that made them's ability, usually an older human. And also, and also, humans have one of the longest lifespans of all creatures on earth, aside from reptiles. We're like, okay. No, we're just up there, up there. To a lot of things, we're the f****** elves.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: To a dog, we're the elves will outlive all their generations. They'd have one when you were born. And that dog dies in your early 20s. But you have their children's children's children already.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: What, 50 years later you still got their children's children's children's children. There's tales that went down that dog's timeline and family history about how these elves have always been in our lives.
Cristina: But how does that relate to the snowmen?
Jack: Well, to snowmen, the humans that make them usually outlive most of them by quite a significant margin. Snowmen on average live maybe two days.
Cristina: Really? I was thinking like a month.
Jack: Well, depends on the snow. Oh, fair enough. Some weeks, you know, the most they could ever live without completing the journey is three months. The most, like record breaking. It's got to be less. I'm saying the most. The top end of like the coldest, most impossibly insufferable amount of cold. Yeah, a month in our area at least. Yeah, in our area. A month in the places up north where it never stops snowing. Many of them survive, but the closer to the equator, like, the equator's the nightmare. To the f******. It's a place they literally couldn't see. They could literally never make it. It would be impossible.
Cristina: But if there was traveling snowmen, wouldn't that be a story?
Jack: The stories of the equators.
Cristina: Huh?
Jack: The story of the equator. What?
Cristina: Story of traveling snowmen.
Jack: Well, no, they all go to the same place away from people.
Jack: Why would humans tell the tales of creatures that only have stories to tell if they've made it out of our reach?
Cristina: It's just these stories with the snowmen. They're all hanging out wherever they're at, wherever they were made. They're not leaving town, just. This is my home now.
Jack: Interesting, because they just come to sentience at random. Maybe the journey only begins when they realize what's gonna happen. So they come to the conclusion that oh far.
Cristina: That's probably why so many of them die. So many dead snowmen.
Jack: They always. Yes. Anywhere that there's heat that comes after the cold. Because up north again, that's where most of them come from. Most of them come from up north. And most of them go further north. Or at least stay north enough so that they can never be just melted out one day.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: That's where they exist. But some of them show up with a tail. Oh no. I was born down south. The s*** I have been through to get here. Oh, your life couldn't comprehend. Your tiny little privileged brain born up here in the snow covered plains. You can comprehend what it's like running from the sun.
Cristina: There's no way a snowman can have existed for that long, could have traveled that far.
Jack: Why you just gotta make it before the temperature gets to the point that you would die. Most of them fail.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: But any of them that figure out the conclusion and it's like zero degrees outside, couldn't make it from far enough. And again there's a million places where snow never ends and where it's always cold and it's never hot enough to melt.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And those snowmen are perfectly fine. In fact they just go north anyways for safety's sake. But still.
Cristina: But there's nothing besides that they're made from magic. They're not magical as far as I can tell.
Jack: It seems to be that that's magic is their. Whatever their life force is the same way that we. Like the soul is the word we came up with for whatever thing powers us. Yeah, we don't know what powers us. Which is a weird thought of its own. But yeah, we don't know what powers us. We just. We work. The same thing happens. So magic seems to be like the. At the core of a snowman. But other than the fact that they are made or magic is pumping through their veins, they don't seem magical. There's somehow this being this very grounded, very real.
Cristina: That's why I don't think they're traveling. Because most of the times when you see a snowman. I don't know about the killer snowman, but is he moving? Because like I'm thinking of the other snowman and I think his kids had to move him around.
Jack: You're thinking of the fatherly Jack Frost.
Cristina: Yeah, like he can't actually travel. I don't think Frosty could either. I think they're just. Unless they're like in frozen. They have a snowman. Does he travel around? I don't know. I think so, but I think he has no feet. Maybe. I don't know. I have no idea what.
Jack: But yeah, like, mechanically it wouldn't make sense. Right. Like, how would his legs move if they're made of snow?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And I'm sure sticks wouldn't support the weight of the snow built like that.
Cristina: And also, like, wouldn't they just slowly lose the snow that they're made of even if they were just rolling or not rolling?
Jack: But no, if they plop themselves over and over, they'll gather snow.
Cristina: If they plop.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: That means they have to pick themselves up.
Jack: Yeah. And put themselves down. So that's an interesting way to move. But if they could. If their hands could support the weight, then they could just make legs. If their arms made of sticks could support the weight of the three different sections put together enough to move in a hopping motion, then definitely he could just make legs because they could already support the weight.
Cristina: There's no way. Because those arms are so thin, they just break if you try to do anything with them.
Jack: Then maybe this is where the magic.
Cristina: Comes in, keeping them together.
Jack: Yeah. Maybe there is magic happening. Once they come to life. The only thing that could get rid of them is the sun.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: They're not just normal snow anymore.
Cristina: But they can melt.
Jack: They can melt. They just can't be melted by anything but the exaggerated power of the sun, which is why the sun, like light to a vampire. Sunlight to a vampire.
Cristina: But they can't go inside houses either, though.
Jack: Interesting.
Cristina: Melt them.
Jack: Well, this is an interesting point. Right? A snowman can't go inside of house. Maybe. One, we have way less stories about a snowman. Two, why are there suddenly two things that align between a snowman and vampire?
Cristina: Yes. They like blood.
Jack: Some snowmen like blood.
Cristina: So.
Jack: And snowman can't enter a house. We're thinking because you'll melt, but also you need. Do you need to ask permission, bro? Is just the coincidence that you can't go in a house? Just saying. It's probably unrelated. Just an observation. Yes, but yeah. So the probably melt.
Cristina: They'll probably melt. I don't know.
Jack: Unless they don't.
Cristina: No.
Jack: Because again, is this magical snow being kept together by the magic? And now you need magic to beat it. And that would just argue that the sun is magic. And we know the sun is sentient at its own scale, but that's just a creature.
Cristina: Mmm. Okay. And that's why it's killing them off. But then, I don't know. That makes it complicated.
Jack: It's not trying to kill it off. It's just really overpowered. It's not trying to give a s*** about anything. At least not that would make sense to us.
Cristina: Yeah. What? I guess I don't know. I don't know enough about these killer snowmen, though, to say, like, they're. How magical they really are or whatever.
Jack: They're magical enough that I believe that they now, when this magic life force hits them, they're not just pure snow anymore. Because, again, these arms are moving, this head is moving. It's not functioning the way snow would. It immediately stops being the case.
Cristina: Well, it comes to the serial killer. Jack Frost, though. He's like a mutant, so he's human. And snowman.
Jack: Fair enough. But how does Frosty move? That's the question.
Cristina: How does Frosty move? Like in a Frosty movie?
Jack: Yeah. Or in a video.
Cristina: A video.
Jack: Okay. Okay. When I said that those other snowmen that were incomplete were. I said that without knowing that there were actually retarded snowmen like Frosty.
Cristina: Like Frosty in the Legend of Frosty.
Jack: In the legend of frosty 2005 movie that we're watching.
Cristina: 2021. Oh, wait, 2005. Oh, it was. Okay. I see YouTube. Okay, whatever.
Jack: Yeah. So you guys can go look at that. Frosty. And I feel really. I. I take back my statements. I publicly say I apologize to all the snow that I may have heard my previous comments before I realized that there was a community of very slow snowmen. Now.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Moving beyond that very necessary apology to snow people.
Cristina: This has so much more questions. It's a magical hat, not a magical snowman.
Jack: Well, there are many snowmen, which means there are, in fact, two different things. And there's a magical hat moving around. Now I see a connection. The Santa Claus. I don't know why, but there is magic and there is hat. Maybe not the Santa Claus. Again, to the magic of December. Yes, but this isn't the magic of December the way the other snowmen are. Those are unrelated. Apparently, snowmen come to life and just start murdering people. Except for this one snowman that gets.
Cristina: The hat and becomes a pedophile.
Jack: Yeah, like a really dangerous individual. But no, he seems to be a good guy, which is the important part.
Cristina: Mm. So who smokes? He smokes Pipe thing.
Jack: And how is the heat not killing him? That's the magic.
Cristina: All the magic. Okay.
Jack: This kind of proves the argument. He actually could go in a house and not melt. So he's not going in a house for a different reason.
Cristina: Mmm. This guy has Arms and legs.
Jack: This guy.
Cristina: No one made those arms or legs. He was just born that.
Jack: Yes. My argument for other snowmen are.
Cristina: It's scary.
Jack: My argument for other snowmen are that the arms and legs also manifests once you have the proper assortment. The general. But I don't get how frosty. No, man. It could be just for Frosty, but the mutant, a snowman had arms and legs, even if it's a mutant.
Cristina: Yeah, it's a freaking human skull.
Jack: Yeah, it was kind of weird.
Cristina: That's so scary. Does it have arms and legs, though, of a human? I'll look at images we should look at. I think he has arms. I don't know.
Jack: Yeah, I guess he does.
Cristina: But he does. Like, his arms look like they're built inside him. Like his arms aren't actually doing things. Although he is killing. I just don't know how because his arms don't look like they can move.
Jack: Yeah. So that's a pretty snowman. Snowman. That's basically just a snowman. It's just a snowman that kills. It looks almost identical to Frosty, just.
Cristina: More rounded out arms. But he doesn't have the legs.
Jack: Well, we don't know that. I'm assuming that's how he's getting around. Or again, his snow is just not coming off somehow. And he is moving. And somehow he's actually sliding with magic. He has to be sliding, right?
Cristina: Yes. I don't know. But then why did the other guy need his son to travel to get him to go to places and stuff?
Jack: Well, he wasn't a genius. Oh, and also, he isn't looking. He's not looking for the efficiency of murder. But whatever's happening with this Jack Frost and with Frosty, they have legs, they have arms, they're there, they got limbs. So they could definitely make the journey.
Cristina: But I don't know. There's no stories about it. But I guess there wouldn't be. I don't know.
Jack: It's kind of worked out pretty nice. And there are stories. There are literally stories of snowmen, but only the ones that stick around. Yes, because the other ones are on the move on a desperate journey to get to the top. Chances are the more north you go, the more stories there are about snowmen just chilling or passing by.
Cristina: I don't know, maybe.
Jack: Maybe stories of the snowmen that hang out. A town of snowmen up north. There's a town of snowmen up north.
Cristina: Huh? Isn't there a town near Santa or something? Or is that where the elves live? I Don't know who lives there.
Jack: Maybe there's a town near Santa, up north.
Cristina: Yeah, perhaps. Who lives in that town? Is it humans? The snowman?
Jack: May. I don't know. It could be. I'm sure there's a bunch of towns up there of different magical creatures surrounding Santa's thing. Then again, snowmen just need snow, as far as I know. Maybe I'm just being a racist. I don't know.
Cristina: They get hungry.
Jack: They live in huts. They live in snow huts. They live in igloos. That doesn't even make sense. An igloos to keep you warm.
Cristina: They don't live in anything.
Jack: Why? Because they're savages?
Cristina: No, because they don't need to.
Jack: How do you know? How do you know they don't want privacy?
Cristina: Trees don't need anything.
Jack: Well, they can. Trees aren't walking around. How do you know they don't want privacy? How do you know he doesn't want to rub his carrot?
Cristina: What?
Jack: He wants to rub his carrot and not be watched.
Cristina: There's no way. No. Anyways, is that what makes them male? Is it the carrot nose or whatever? Nose?
Jack: No, I think they're asexual. There's only snowmen. There's no snow women. But I don't think we. I don't think we've learned any more or less what snowmen are. But not fair enough. I do think we've come to. We've unraveled some good magical. They're definitely magic to some degree. They seem to have arms and legs. We don't really know if they work for Santa or with Santa, but we know that December is the magic. And so I guess the ultimate conclusion is all the snowmen that are alive. That's why not all snowmen. Right? It has to be snowmen that are built in December. Snowmen built in December come to life.
Cristina: We don't know if there are any that are born outside of December. We just know about the stories of the ones that were born in December.
Jack: Fair enough. So you're telling me it's possible anywhere there's snow? Consistently, yes.
Cristina: But if there's no one around in those places, how would we know?
Jack: Well, no, people have to build. There has to be somebody. Because the snowman has to be built. Unless snowmen are building a snowman.
Cristina: No. Okay, never mind. No, because it has to be people. Has to be people.
Jack: It has to be people. The only. The only creature that seems to do that is humans. Making us the gods of snowmen.
Cristina: Yeah. What if there is a movie where snowman is making another snowman. I don't know.
Jack: Asexuality. But look, anyways, that's not asexuality. That is asexual. They reproduce asexually.
Cristina: Is that still. Is that the right word?
Jack: Yes, they reproduce asexually. They do not require a partner. They don't have a sexual need in order to reproduce. But anyways, the point is that that's what we learned. That's we've achieved some level of information.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Yeah, but we ran out of time. So we have to uncover more in the future. More about these snowmen in the future. And, like, look, hit us up, talk to us, message us. You can do that on all our socials at JustConvopod.
Cristina: And you could subscribe, rate and review the show.
Jack: Yeah, you could leave us a lovely review with numbers and snowmen. And snowmen. Ooh, there's probably snowman emojis.
Cristina: Yeah. And Santa presents a Christmas tree.
Jack: A Christmas tree.
Cristina: And let someone who might like this show know about it.
Jack: Yes. Word of mouth is very important. And you can share this as the. The Christmas episode. No, it's not. We're gonna have a better.
Cristina: Really?
Jack: I don't know. Whatever happens, happens. We're still trying to catch Santa Claus.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Maybe that's a Christmas episode.
Cristina: This has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Why is it that important?
Jack: I don't know, man. People, like, live their lives surrounding a television. It's hard for people to do other. Like, they have a hard day's work, go home and watch tv, and it's like, right, but what are you doing to advance you in the world?
Cristina: But then that's what they replaced. They replace their TV with their phone. But they're just watching stuff on their phone.
Jack: Just watching stuff on their phone? Yeah, it's the same s*** people have. They're not doing anything. Yeah, a lot of people are not doing anything. They leave work, so they made somebody else money. You benefited someone else. You get home and then how did you benefit you? Oh, you didn't benefit you. You just waited to the next day to benefit that other guy again.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: No, that's wrong. It should be some for them, some for you, some for them, some for you, some for them, some for you, and then you've established balance. Not some for them. I go home and wait for tomorrow to give them some more. So what the f***?
Cristina: Convince yourself of that.
Jack: That makes sense.
Cristina: That makes sense. Yeah.
Jack: And it doesn't. You're living to pay bills. The f***? Yes, Living to pay bills to get f****** to make it. You're earning money to get to work.
Cristina: Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and Published by Great Thoughts.info Art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McAllister, with social media managed by Amber Black.