Rambling 187: The Bad Questions

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With another slow week at hand, no missions assigned and no problems to solves, the duo return to the questions bag, this time answering the questions that couldn’t fit into any other episode because they were simply terrible. Today the answer to terrible questions will be learned, or fully ignored.

+Transcript

Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.

Jack: Going live in five, four.

Cristina: What does live mean?

Jack: Welcome to the Rambling Podcast. I am your host, Jack.

Cristina: And I am your host, Christina.

Jack: And this is the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideas. And today we have the intention of grounding those absurd and baffling ideas because we put a post out on the social webs of the world.

Cristina: All of them.

Jack: Yeah, we've done this many times. And when those posts go out, we receive questions for stuff. But sometimes questions don't fit other groups of questions. People just send us random crap that's unrelated. They think it's funny. Sometimes it is kind of funny.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Or sometimes it's like, what is this even related to? What is the point? But we grabbed some of those that don't fit anywhere else. The other basket from the other basket. And then we go ahead and grab from the other basket.

Cristina: How many baskets are there?

Jack: Many. But the other basket is one of them. And that's where we got a collection of strange questions that didn't fit elsewhere. And we're going to insist, instead of answering important, hard hitting, pressing issue questions, we're going to answer these way more significantly. Hard hitting questions.

Cristina: Sure, sure. Let's hear these hard hitting questions.

Jack: Yes. So, okay, all of these come from Instagram. We make posts, we accept questions and stuff. We don't on Twitter because that is a cesspool of disgraceful, disgraceful humans. But we take these on Instagram. And then after ripping everybody with relationship advice, we have agreed to not mention names anymore and just give relationship advice and all other advice without giving anybody credit for what they may ask because it may be dumb and they may be embarrassed.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So with that disclosure in mind, let us proceed.

Cristina: The first question is, if Earth was flat, what would be on the other side?

Jack: This is less dumb of a question than you might think because it could be any plethora of things. Right. The infinite nothingness could be on the other side. If Earth is the center, then somethingness is above us. Well, then below us is nothing. It just coexists like that.

Cristina: I think something, a plate is holding the earth like a pizza pie. I don't know. The earth was flat. What's holding it?

Jack: Oh, it's in space or whatever. Or it is space. Nothing is holding it. Oh, nothing's holding, you know, like it is space. If that makes sense. I guess that makes sense because they think of it as like a dome and there's not really? Anything outside the dome. Right, that's the idea. Oh, there's not really anything outside the dome. There's something outside the area that we're in. Yeah, but there's nothing outside the dome.

Cristina: If the dome is everything.

Jack: If the dome is everything. Because the sun is just on the dome. Oh, and so the moon. Actually. No, they're in the dome because the film is everything.

Cristina: Yeah. So there would be nothing on the other side. Or whatever is on the other side. It's the other reality.

Jack: No, no, no, no. Well, if. Fair enough. Okay. Wow. Yeah, I guess so. Because it would literally be the flip. Instead of inside, you'd be outside. So flat Earthers, in theory, would just exist in a world that surrounds them. Gravity's flipped, and you're magneting towards the thing backwards. Right. Like, if you were to be inside the planet, but it was fully hollow, you'd be walking the walls of the planet because gravity is pulling you towards them. And you could look up and just see people on the other side.

Cristina: That's under Earth. That's what you're saying.

Jack: I would be saying that if that's what the dome is right now. Like, you can see up to the top of the dome where the sun is. This is all just inside of one bubble.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: And the bubble is all that there is, but on the other side of the bubble is round Earth.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Like, is it the flip like that? Not literally they're the same place, but, like, is that what would. The rules are essentially just an inverse.

Cristina: Wait. The Earth continues. The flip side of the Earth is a round Earth.

Jack: The flip side of the. Of the flat Earth is round Earth. We know this factually because that's how the discussion is had. This versus that.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So the question is, if flat Earth is being inside a dome, is being outside of the dome what we're doing right now? Because we're not in the dome we're outside, or the dome we're in is a different kind of dome that we call the universe. But the planet we're on is not the dome.

Cristina: It's not?

Jack: No, because we're on the planet. We're not in the planet.

Cristina: No. Yeah.

Jack: While in flat Earth, you are in the planet because the dome is the planet and the universe.

Cristina: The dome is the planet.

Jack: Everything is the planet.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Because there's only really that planet.

Cristina: Okay, that's so weird. I don't know. You said the flat earth, and then there's round Earth, though. I can't picture it.

Jack: I'm not saying that. Okay, how do I explain what I don't know. I don't get what you're not getting. Do you know what round Earth is?

Cristina: It's a round Earth. It's a ball.

Jack: Okay. Do you know what flat earth is?

Cristina: It's a pizza of Earth. I don't know. It's earth. Like a pizza pie.

Jack: In more detail, more than just the basic two dimensional explanation. Do you know what flat Earth is?

Cristina: Isn't that it?

Jack: It's the dome I'm talking about.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: It's something flat with a freaking dome that they call the sky. And then the sun and the moon revolve around there. You're inside of the thing?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: You're trapped in a thing?

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: We're not trapped in a thing right now.

Cristina: No.

Jack: No. Because we're on the outside of the dome. If the Earth is the thing we're talking about, if Earth is the dome, we're on the outside of Earth. That's the dome.

Cristina: Okay?

Jack: We're outside the dome. We're not inside the dome.

Cristina: We're not inside the dome because we.

Jack: Would require there to be some container over us that is part of the planet we're connecting to the planet. Like somebody added a piece or whatever the case may be, which is happening in flat Earth. Everything is inside the thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: It starts at what we traditionally consider Earth and stretches up into what we consider traditionally the sky. As one thing.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I guess ultimately that's just one of the many things that could be on the other side. Just other people that they think are. That they don't realize. I mean, I guess the flat Earthers would be in the middle of the Earth. Are there humans in the middle of the Earth? And it's a dome. Somehow. Somehow the inside of Earth is a two way mirror. And like, it looks to that. They see space too, you know? Okay, they do see space, but they say they see it through our Earth, what we're standing on. They see through all of that, including us. They don't see us, they just see straight to the sky.

Cristina: You're saying the other side of the planet.

Jack: The inside of the planet.

Cristina: The inside of the planet, yes.

Jack: In a ball. Easy, easy. I'm just gonna explain it simple. If you have a ball, the other side of the ball is still outside the ball.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: But if you're inside the ball, the other side of the ball is outside the ball.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Does that make sense?

Cristina: Yes. But how does it relate?

Jack: Because that's what's on the other side of the freaking thing to us. They're not on the other side. Because the other side is like Asia, but from Flat Earth. The other side is whatever's on the flip of the ground. Because everything is the point that they're in.

Cristina: Okay, I think I understand what you're saying.

Jack: Yeah. So we're on the other side of Flat Earth.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: Flat Earth isn't on the other side of us. No. Asia is. But we're on the other side of Flat Earth. Whatever. It could also be a giant turtle, I think.

Cristina: A turtle?

Jack: Or chaos, whatever that means.

Cristina: Wouldn't it just be. I don't know, like, what was I saying before? That it's just a different reality? Because if everything. If the dome is the reality of what, everything in the universe is this dome.

Jack: Right. So I guess, yes, on the other side is a different reality.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: But on our Earth side, there is not a different reality. We could just go to China.

Cristina: Yes. You talk about us, you talk about Round Earth.

Jack: Round Earth, yeah.

Cristina: Yes. But they're asking about Flat Earth.

Jack: Yes, we're on the other side of Flat Earth.

Cristina: I guess. Yes. Another question is, if you could do whatever you want for one day with no punishment, what would that be?

Jack: I don't know. It's too general. It's too general like anything. Who the f*** cares then is so f****** general. There's no parameters here. Just whatever you could do, whatever for one day. Well, I'll do something.

Cristina: Maybe.

Jack: Maybe it's so overwhelming, the choices of infinite that I could just, like, not do nothing. I'm gonna do nothing. Probably.

Cristina: Yeah. There's no punishment. I don't know. Skip work.

Jack: Yeah. Like, what the f***?

Cristina: That's so weird. Yes. It's pretty simple. I'll do that. All right. If aliens were real, how can we communicate with them?

Jack: With words.

Cristina: With words?

Jack: Yeah. I don't know. It depends. This is, again, an absurdly broad question that makes zero sense because it depends on the freaking alien, man. Maybe language makes total sense, but maybe the idea that language even exists is weird to them. And they're like, why don't you just send each other thoughts? The f***? And it's like, okay, look, there's no way to answer this question because it depends on the alien and whatever path they use to communicate. Yeah, too broad.

Cristina: The next question. Would you rather have the ability to read the minds of everyone in the world or to be able to move objects with your mind?

Jack: So boring. Move an object with my mind or read minds? Probably moving objects with my mind, yeah.

Cristina: Reading minds does not sound fun.

Jack: Moving objects is so bland, too, though.

Cristina: What Other mind power beats these powers if you had to choose something else. But it has to still be mind type of theme. I guess.

Jack: I think it's overpowered if you have the ability to create just illusions on the fly. So being able to superimpose locations and things into somebody's mind, kind of obstructing their view. Superimposing their reality, making them. They're making them think they're anywhere because they can feel it because you're in their head. And they can smell it because you're in their head. That. That's monstrously overpowered.

Cristina: That sounds horrible. That sounds like you would do that for evil. Like what kind of situation would you need that for?

Jack: I don't know. In a show called Altered Carbon, that's how they kept one of the main characters, family members, sane and without their sort of digital personality getting corrupted. It was by doing that.

Cristina: Which. What was that?

Jack: It was a little girl.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yes. She's still a little messed up, right? I don't know. That's not good. That sounds very dangerous. I don't know why you're messing with someone like that. Someone's reality.

Jack: Yeah, but that's a superimposed reality in her case. And it's just a way to help her stop suffering.

Cristina: Yeah, but are you gonna be using it for that?

Jack: I suppose. Use it for that too. You'd use it for whatever. It's useless. It's a really overpowered ability.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'll just stick to moving objects.

Jack: What? You wouldn't have an ability outside of those two?

Cristina: Let's see. I don't know. I don't know how many super. How you could change it to other things? I don't know. Is there a superhero with that ability as their main ability?

Jack: With what ability?

Cristina: Their mind.

Jack: Jean Grey.

Cristina: It's not fire. I don't know. That's not her power. I thought it was fire.

Jack: Jean Grey is a telepath as well. And she can use her mind to break apart matter. That's the evolution of moving s***. With her mind, she can take it to the furthest extreme and break things at an atomic level.

Cristina: That's. I don't know how I could use that. That's too much.

Jack: Make reality up as you please.

Cristina: Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Jack: I bet she can't reconstruct it. It's too hard. There's too many variables. I bet it's just taking it apart. How are you gonna build, like a person and it work and not just be some F***** up homunculus.

Cristina: That must be a horrible story if there is one of her trying to recreate someone.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: That cannot end well.

Jack: No, not at all.

Cristina: Well, that's disturbing, but I can't really think of any powers. The next question. What problem do you have to solve with violence?

Jack: I like that question. What problem do you have to solve with violence? Interesting. You looking to get into something, buddy? You wanna. You're looking to shake s*** up a little fear. What needs to be solved with violence? Guy has a gun to your head for whatever reason. Survival, bro. Violence right off the bat. Whatever you can do to kill him before he kills you.

Cristina: That's really. That's really it, Man. But would you like want to be in that situation? I mean, I guess if you're this desperate for violence, that's a sucky situation to be in.

Jack: No, no. You're not trying to get into that situation. I'm just saying like that's a sit. That is a situation.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: That you would need violence to get out of, you know?

Cristina: Yeah. It has to be that extreme or there's anything less extreme.

Jack: Is there? I don't know. You tell me.

Cristina: You can't. I don't know. I guess like if someone attacks you, do you attack them back?

Jack: Unless you're a pacifist. Unless you're pacifist.

Cristina: Self defense. I guess any type of self defense situation is. Okay.

Jack: Yeah, those are. But I. Again, we're missing the point of question. What situation do you have to.

Cristina: Self defense is have to, Right?

Jack: I guess to call it self defense you would have to. But you don't have to fight. You don't have to use self defense. Oh, you get my point. Like it's not an obligation. You could get your a** beat and just call it a day. But what situation would require violence? I mean, it has to be crazy s***. It's like beat people up or you explode. You gotta be this many people every this long or you explode. Now violence is immediately. You get my point? That's how violence is. You have to. It's the only way.

Cristina: Okay. If you don't, you explode.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: The solution, I guess.

Jack: Yeah, that's just an example of like a way in which definitely you need violence. Yes, it's the only way. Violence. Because the rules are you have to be violent now just to survive.

Cristina: If anything is like you have to be violence now, then like, I'll kill your mom if you're not violent or something. I don't know.

Jack: Yeah, I don't. I don't think really? Nature subjects us to any moments that have to be violent.

Cristina: No.

Jack: We're fortunate creatures in that regard.

Cristina: We can be forced into it, I guess. Yeah.

Jack: Not even really. You could let them kill you there. You could kind of. There's no. There's no scenario. There's no scenario.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: Because you can always escape without violence or give in and still not be violent. Oh, there's no. We can't be forced to be violent.

Cristina: You don't want the gun to your head.

Jack: You can't force us to be violent. No, it's impossible.

Cristina: Okay, so there is no problem that has to be solved with violence is the answer.

Jack: Yeah, pretty much.

Cristina: Leave. Alright then. What's the creepiest thing you've seen in broad daylight?

Jack: I don't know. Creepiest thing I've seen in broad daylight. Somebody doing heroin.

Cristina: I guess. That's creepy. I don't know. I don't think I've seen many creepy things.

Jack: Yeah, I don't think there's like a lot of. I think creepy is way state of mind related.

Cristina: Yeah. There's like weird people being weird.

Jack: Yeah. But there's never like. Well, that's creepy.

Cristina: No.

Jack: Like something spooky is going on. Like.

Cristina: No spooky creepy. Like is that person running? Is that person stealing those children? I don't know.

Jack: That's not creepy.

Cristina: That's not creepy. I don't know. There's nothing really creepy.

Jack: Yeah, I don't think there is anything creepy.

Cristina: What about like seeing something in the sky and you might. It might be UFO related or something.

Jack: That's not creepy. I mean, somebody might find UFOs creepy. I guess maybe insects are creepy. People find insects really creepy.

Cristina: Oh yeah, I guess. That's creepy. That's creepy.

Jack: I have seen insects in broad daylight. Oh. So fair enough. Insects. Just really creepy insects.

Cristina: Really creepy insects. Like roaches that are pretty creepy.

Jack: More like centipedes and things.

Cristina: Centipedes? Yes. That's creepy. That's horrifying. I don't like it. Centipedes are horrifying. Spiders.

Jack: Spiders too?

Cristina: Yeah. Creepy.

Jack: I don't find them creepy, but I understand.

Cristina: Well, any bug for me is creepy. Alright, so if you were a vampire but couldn't turn into bats, what other flying creatures would you turn into?

Jack: Owl. Easy.

Cristina: An owl. There's not many options. Like besides a bird, what else is there?

Jack: There's no other flying creature other than insects that flies. Are your options of birds or insects?

Cristina: Yes. Man, I would rather be a bat. That'd be so cool. Okay. No.

Jack: Bats are Whack. I way rather be an owl than a bat.

Cristina: An owl? An owl's pretty cool. I don't know. What are those? Giant scary birds. Big birds that eat dead animals or whatever.

Jack: Condors?

Cristina: Yes. I want to be that.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: Because it's scary.

Jack: Okay.

Cristina: I mean, they're not suspicious. They go after things that are dead. Right. Or that's not what they do.

Jack: Yeah, they're scavengers.

Cristina: Yeah. So you least likely to suspect that bird to be a vampire?

Jack: I guess, yeah.

Cristina: What's the scariest dream you've ever had?

Jack: Dunno.

Cristina: I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure it's not scary. I know in dreams it's scary in the moment and then you wake up and you're like, why was that scary?

Jack: Yeah, I know that feeling. That's familiar.

Cristina: Yeah, I remember I've had dreams about like being chased by dinosaurs or something and being horrified in the dream because the dinosaur was gonna get me. Kind of like, what are those dinosaurs in that movie that. The Velociraptor. Is that what it is?

Jack: The Velociraptor?

Cristina: That's not it.

Jack: I have no. Which movie?

Cristina: I used to the only dinosaur movie. Jurassic Park.

Jack: You think that's the only dinosaur movie?

Cristina: The main dinosaur movie where the kids run from that creature.

Jack: I guess. It's a Velociraptor. Wasn't it a T. Rex? You mean the small ones?

Cristina: Yeah, the small ones.

Jack: Yeah. I think that's a Velociraptor.

Cristina: Which is still pretty big. Like it's bigger than me.

Jack: That's an incorrect size comparison. Velociraptors were like a foot tall.

Cristina: Really?

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Well, in my dream they're huge, but they can still squeeze through doors. I guess. I don't know. But I don't know. That's the last dream I can remember. I don't know. You don't remember anything?

Jack: Not really. I don't dream often.

Cristina: Oh, that's lame. Dreams are great. Next question is, if everyone disappeared while you were asleep, when you would. When would you realize you're the only person left on earth?

Jack: Okay, go over that again.

Cristina: If everyone disappeared while you were asleep, when would you realize you were the only person on earth?

Jack: Super instantly.

Cristina: Why?

Jack: It would happen so quickly. It would be like a couple of seconds later when I like check a social and nobody is posting at all or something. People are idiots and have to post. So what's going on?

Cristina: That's the suspicious, you know, if you wouldn't check to See, like the Internet's down or something. You'd be like, no.

Jack: Yeah, it would escalate. Obviously that wasn't the question I was answering the question of when would I know.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So that's when I would begin the investigations. I would know from that point forward. I'd just be trying to confirm it more and more as I go forward.

Cristina: I probably wouldn't notice. I probably would walk to work, not noticing. And then I'm in the place and then it's like, no one's here.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: And then go back home and then realize, it's very quiet outside, there's no one around. I don't know how long it will take. I guess I would call someone and then finally realize, oh, there's no one here. Yeah, it'll take a little while.

Jack: I guess you'd get to work without ever realizing it.

Cristina: What animal DNA would you mix with humans to make a hybrid animal as.

Jack: Smart as a human with some other creatures ability. Horse.

Cristina: What?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want the speed, power, strength, stamina of a horse and the mind and expendable thumbs of a human.

Cristina: Does it look like a horse though?

Jack: It's gonna look like some clean fusion of both, presumably.

Cristina: I don't like it. I don't know. I would. Horse. That's a good, I guess, jellyfish.

Jack: Because.

Cristina: I don't know, because of their amazing abilities. Their. Their body. Like, what if we could move our bodies like that?

Jack: I guess. Yeah.

Cristina: Like we can't. Like if we didn't have to worry about our bones breaking, I guess. I don't know. They don't have any bones as far as I know.

Jack: Yeah. But movement is kind of restricted to water.

Cristina: What if we could breathe underwater? That'd be cool.

Jack: Yeah, that'd be a pretty good one.

Cristina: I guess. That's all I want for the abilities. Let's just be the same. But breathe under water.

Jack: That works for me. But the problem with the jellyfish ability is that if you were to one, it only works in water. And if you tried to use it outside of water and let's say it theoretically still worked, it wouldn't be like the most effective thing in the world. Like you'd squish underneath a door or something.

Cristina: Maybe like accidents wouldn't kill you. Like you get in a car accident and you survive because your body's all.

Jack: I actually think a jellyfish's body is quite sensitive. Yeah.

Cristina: Okay. What if we fuse with a jelly. Oh, it has to be an animal.

Jack: What would a jelly have Been in your case.

Cristina: What?

Jack: You said jelly.

Cristina: Yeah, just a jelly.

Jack: What's jelly?

Cristina: A food. Is it a snack jelly? I don't know. Do you don't know what jelly is? Like the thing in your donut?

Jack: Like jellyfish jelly?

Cristina: Just jelly. Just jelly. We put humans and jelly together, but.

Jack: Jelly isn't like a thing of its own. You make jelly based on a thing. It's not just like objectively jelly. There must be something that is a jelly of.

Cristina: Okay, strawberry jelly.

Jack: Yeah, that makes way more sense.

Cristina: Yes. I don't know what should probably some animal that can see in the dark.

Jack: Like an owl.

Cristina: Like an owl, yes. Human and an owls get that nighttime vision, I guess. And maybe wings.

Jack: Crap ton of animals have that nighttime vision. It is very common for anything that actually hunts at night or even just moves at night.

Cristina: But we don't have that ability.

Jack: No.

Cristina: I don't know why we would need it. But it might be useful. I don't know.

Jack: Yeah, it could be.

Cristina: And now the next question. What is the worst event to show up drunk to your wedding? Your a funeral.

Jack: I said your funeral.

Cristina: Your funeral.

Jack: Funeral is a good one. Funeral is a good one.

Cristina: A hearing like showing up to court drunk, that would probably be a problem.

Jack: Yeah, that's pretty bad. But it's way less bad than funeral.

Cristina: If you're a doctor doing surgery.

Jack: That's pretty bad.

Cristina: Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Jack: Doctor doing surgery, stopping a fire.

Cristina: Yeah, I guess.

Jack: Nine, 11. You were one of the guys who hijacked the planes.

Cristina: If you try to hijack the plane drunk.

Jack: Well, maybe that's what happened to the plane that slammed into the field. Oh, that guy showed up to work drunk. Everybody else executed. But this dumbass decided to not be sober. And he couldn't blow it up the right way.

Cristina: Oh, or he couldn't fly the plane the right way.

Jack: Or they overthrew him. Oh, that's the one where the people rebelled or whatever.

Cristina: Oh, okay.

Jack: And they only took over because he was dumb. He was super drunk. He's scared. He's like, I'm scared to die. I'm gonna drink a bunch and get ready. And then they tricked him.

Cristina: So that's a bad thing or a good thing? I mean like in the end of the day for him, it doesn't really matter if he had drank or not. Like he'd still be dead. Yeah.

Jack: It's just objectively a bad place to show up drunk.

Cristina: Yeah. The next question is, what is the scariest animal on the planet? Humans. No. Okay, humans.

Jack: Probably that old School fish that has like a f***** up face and looks like some sort of demon dinosaur hybrid.

Cristina: Like that lives in the deep dark water.

Jack: Looks like a freak of nature.

Cristina: Yeah. Insects. Insects are horrible.

Jack: Those aren't an animals right there.

Cristina: Those are animals.

Jack: Are they?

Cristina: They can't count. But then you're counting fish.

Jack: That's an animal, isn't it?

Cristina: But insects are not animals.

Jack: They're insects.

Cristina: Oh. What?

Jack: Fish are a type of animal. Insect is a class of fiction. Like animal. Does that make sense?

Cristina: No.

Jack: Insect is the umbrella that encompasses ants, spiders, centipedes.

Cristina: Spiders are under that.

Jack: They're arachnids. Really? But which is a whole other thing. That is not an insect or a mammal or animal. Yeah, it's a whole other thing. It's an arachnid.

Cristina: What's the scariest? I don't know. There's a lot of animals that are scary though. A pig. Have you seen pigs? Pigs are pretty scary.

Jack: Just not the scariest animal on the planet. That's not even like the conversation.

Cristina: They're so pretty. Bears are scary. Moose huge. Those things are huge and scary. Almost any animal. Any animal bigger than us is probably scary. The scariest. You think that fish you said?

Jack: Yeah. It looks pretty horrifying.

Cristina: I guess. Scary. And a wasp doesn't count because that's the scariest. But you're not counting that. But you wouldn't be scared of a bear.

Jack: I would. Just not as scared as I would be of that other thing that doesn't look like a natural creature.

Cristina: Alright. What jobs do you believe are immune to extinction due to technology?

Jack: To which jobs can't be replaced by robots.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Any kind of moral decision that requires nuanced understanding of the decision to make a really good moral. Like you couldn't be a judge and be a robot. There's too. There's too much black and white s*** going on. And like you need way more understanding.

Cristina: I don't see one robot becoming a comedian anytime soon. That's probably not something it.

Jack: Here's the problem. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. It could definitely be. Well, no, I guess it couldn't. Because it would have to be relatable and surprising. Yeah, that's the trick. You have to accomplish both in one shot.

Cristina: Could it do that?

Jack: Its concept of relatable is just a bunch of s*** that's similar to it.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: So it'll never understand in such a way that can make somebody who's experienced it laugh out loud. Particularly hard. It would be very like ones and Zeros kind of comedy. It would seem. Even if not predictable. It would seem soulless. Almost predictable.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Even if it's not.

Cristina: So then acting. Probably not either.

Jack: Why?

Cristina: Because it wouldn't suck you into the. Like, it wouldn't. You. It wouldn't be that believable. Like if. Like in a drama or something.

Jack: If it was like a voice actor in it, I suppose.

Cristina: A voice actor?

Jack: Wait, how do you mean?

Cristina: Like just any type of drama, would it be able to do that?

Jack: Well, it depends. What? Because the voice is all that you'd be. You're looking for an actor.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Right. So it depends on what they're doing in the role. Right. They could be acting a robot and then that is a perfect role. I don't know. Circumstantial in that case.

Cristina: Like a drama movie. I don't know. Like, what's a really good movie? Brokeback Mountain, played by robots. Would you be sucked in?

Jack: Probably not. No.

Cristina: Or the. What's that movie with Wilson?

Jack: Castaway.

Cristina: Castaway.

Jack: That wouldn't work. No, that wouldn't work.

Cristina: Yeah. I don't know.

Jack: Yeah. No, that wouldn't work, though. Definitely. That's a situation.

Cristina: Okay. If reincarnation was real. But you can't pick to be born as a human again. What animal do you pick?

Jack: I wonder how they come up with these questions. Man. They straight up kill me. What animal would you be if you.

Cristina: What if you can reincarnate as anything in. You can't be human again.

Jack: But you get to choose, I guess. Okay. I don't know. Something that lives. An elephant.

Cristina: An elephant, I guess.

Jack: I don't know.

Cristina: Aren't they going extinct? Is there animal that's. I'll be rat. No, that sounds live for like 2 years.

Jack: Link out again.

Cristina: No. A cat.

Jack: That works. I guess. That works.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Yeah. Check us out.

Cristina: Yeah. And you?

Jack: I don't know. Like, it's such a crap situation to be in. I gotta be some other. Okay, I. An elephant, I said. I guess.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Should we normalize men wearing skirts?

Jack: I don't know. Do you think so?

Cristina: I guess.

Jack: Sure. Why not?

Cristina: Sure.

Jack: Yes.

Cristina: Yes. What a tough question. Is masturbation innate in humans or learned?

Jack: I guess it would happen by default because curiosity. So. Yeah, it's natural. You don't have to teach somebody so that they could eventually touch themselves and be like, yeah, cool.

Cristina: Eventually they'll touch themselves.

Jack: Yeah.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: I guess just curiosity would lead in there.

Cristina: The next question is, what can't you find cute? No matter how hard you try? Babies isn't that your answer?

Jack: Sure, I guess. Babies, man. Here's, here's what's truly impressive. The astounding like lack of creativity, which like these are clearly the tossaways.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: So obviously like the, the people would know, like there's nothing going on back there and you know there's nothing going on. They were like, if it's, oh my God, it's this or that. That's really like how most people think there's nothing else going on. Like or dislike the end and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a lot of that. These questions. I understand why they throw away. Yeah, I understand what they throw away. We should probably end doing these at some point.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Flush them down. Yeah, just next time we just flush them. Yeah, f*** them. They're not making it for a reason.

Cristina: Yeah.

Jack: Let's assume that that reason holds up.

Cristina: Yes. And the next question is though, what movie would be ten times better if you added dinosaurs? Tectonic, I don't know, Snakes on a plane. You can't think of any questions, any movies.

Jack: Those are both flawed examples because you can only put like the smallest possible dinosaur and nothing else because most of the dinosaurs would sink everything mentioned or destroy it.

Cristina: That's true.

Jack: It's horrible. It's like these really bad questions. These really bad questions. There's not a lot of thinking power behind them. Although there are some slightly better ones that we can get to that are also backed up. And aren't these toss away garbage ones?

Cristina: Alright, if you ate an animal with cancer, how would that affect you? Would you get cancer?

Jack: That's really good. Really good question. Okay, I don't know because like the way the cancer works is a cell that's been cancered replicates more cancer cells instead of healthy cells. So in theory, in theory, if you were to eat meat, depending how like digestion works, you think, and if like any of that cell gets incorporated into your body because like what happens to it? Everything just goes to your body and you don't take anything out of it. No, something has to be taken.

Cristina: When you eat it, it's dead. So is the cancer dead?

Jack: Like would that cancer was never live.

Cristina: It was never alive? Oh, I don't know. Can you get cancer from eating cancer?

Jack: I don't know. That's the question, right? That is literally the question. So I don't know. That's probably a real science answer to that question.

Cristina: The next question is, was the invention of steel an accident?

Jack: The invention of steel? I don't, I know. Maybe. I don't know what the H***, the invention of. I know. Steel is invented. It's not natural. We made steel.

Cristina: How?

Jack: I'm not sure. Well, Minecraft taught us that you can. You can heat. You can heat iron and you get steel or you find steel. No, I think you make steel. I'm pretty sure you make steel. I think you take an iron ingot and then you melt the iron ingot. No, you get an iron ore. You melt that to get the pure iron. Iron, yeah. And how the f*** do you get to steal them? I suppose you need the iron to get the steel. But steel is just something that's there. No, it doesn't make sense check out because we have to make steel.

Cristina: But you're thinking of Minecraft.

Jack: Yeah, I was thinking maybe Minecraft had the answer, but. No, it doesn't. But I'm sure it involves heating up iron somehow. That's for sure. Or I guess maybe using. Maybe steel is created from many iron. From what many iron. You put many iron together to get steel because it's harder, so it must. Must be denser. Maybe iron has pockets of air that are tiny, but steel does not because you melt away the pockets of air, thus making it tighter. It's more uniform.

Cristina: And iron is something you find not make like steel.

Jack: Yeah, iron is just made naturally.

Cristina: Okay, next question is can you eat poisonous animals like skunk? That's their example. Skunks, cobras, frogs.

Jack: Interesting, right? So is. I'm confused why a skunk is here. A skunk is poisonous, I guess I.

Cristina: Not poisonous, but I'm guessing they're talking about like that smell that it has. Like would that come out while you're eating it or something? I don't know, like how that would affect you.

Jack: I wonder if people eat skunk. Wow. So yeah, people are in fact eating skunks to have eaten skunks. Humans eat skunk. That's crazy. But I guess we eat everything. Everybody eats something, right? Yeah, everything is eaten by something.

Cristina: But can you eat something poisonous like a skunk? Doesn't count. I mean, we could rip out whatever it is that makes the skunk. I mean, we could do that with any of it, right? Like even if it there's a poisonous animal, just rip out.

Jack: There's literally poisonous fish we eat. Oh, that's famously done. You know, some people get sick from it if it's cooked improperly. But you can have poisoned fish.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: So I guess, yeah, the answer is.

Cristina: Yes, we could probably eat it. Are there rabbits in the desert?

Jack: Maybe? Good question, Craptons.

Cristina: Yes, rabbits can survive Deserts, rabbits can survive anywhere.

Jack: It seems clear that rabbits and roaches inherit the earth.

Cristina: And roaches. Yeah, rabbits and roaches.

Jack: Yeah. There's rabbits in a hole that'll survive the nuclear explosions.

Cristina: No way. Yeah, I don't know. I think just roaches.

Jack: Rabbits that are already in a hole.

Cristina: Oh, okay. Yeah. The next question is, was the state of Nevada owned by a Latino or Spanish country before the United States?

Jack: Nevada. Latino. Right. It has to be. We're going to assume that Nevada was also part of Mexico.

Cristina: Yes.

Jack: Like most of the west coast, right? Yep. Checks out.

Cristina: Makes sense.

Jack: Part of Mexico. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense because of the name. It's Nevada, which means snow.

Cristina: That's what it means.

Jack: Yeah. It means snow in Spanish.

Cristina: I wonder if there's like a map of the states that were controlled by Spain before.

Jack: There probably is.

Cristina: Where are the non alpha lions?

Jack: That's a clever question. Where are the non alpha lions? So the non alpha lions are. I don't know. Okay, so what's the logic of the question? Where are the non alpha lions? There is an alpha lion and all the females surround the alpha lion. The other alpha lions don't get to plow the females because they're not the alpha.

Cristina: You said the other alpha lions do not.

Jack: I mean. Yeah, the other lions.

Cristina: Oh.

Jack: Are not alpha lions. So they don't get to plow all the female lions, but they're there somewhere.

Cristina: They're surviving. Right. He didn't kill them off, did he? I don't think so.

Jack: I guess their job is to protect the alpha lion and the females that the alpha lion plows, I guess because.

Cristina: He can't, like, he can't murder them.

Jack: That's not beneficial to anybody.

Cristina: Yeah, there's gotta be non alpha lions. Yeah, yeah.

Jack: So they're hidden amongst the other lions then.

Cristina: Yeah, yeah. How did Hawaiian natives arrive?

Jack: We looked this up. This is very old conversation. And bravo to anybody who, I guess specifically who paid enough attention to realize that we actually know the answer to this. And you're so smart individual who. I don't know how you piece it together, but. So there's an island somewhere way south of southwest. If we put Hawaii in the middle. Right. So for. Why is our center southwest of Hawaii? There was an island with some people there and their island, the food, all dried up. It was. It was just producing nothing there. There was an overpopulation problem. They couldn't get crops, so a lot of people were just abandoning ship. And they're like, screw the island. But they had nowhere else to go. And they would just once they just went wherever. It's better than dying on the island without hope. So some groups of people got a bunch of different sized canoes and just went out to sea and they were planting food on the canoes and crap, and who knows how long they were and in the ocean, for God, somehow found Hawaii. They traveled thousands of miles. Maybe not thousands. Hundreds, maybe. It could have been thousands. I think it was thousands, really. On canoes. There was no way they could have known where they were going. They just kind of got stolen by the current and landed in Hawaii. And that's how Hawaii happened. Just some random people landed there without knowing they were gonna land there.

Cristina: Just random luck.

Jack: Yep. Well, a bunch of them died.

Cristina: Well, the people who survived, lucky. The next question is black hole versus white hole.

Jack: There's combat or something. Black hole versus white hole. What's the idea here? One is infinite in, the other one is infinite out. If you were to place one perfectly in front of the other one, and this one is shooting an infinite amount of material at an infinite speed. This one is consuming an infinite amount of material at an infinite speed. Will there be buildup in the middle or will it be cleaned out? Who's going to win first? It depends on the size, I suppose.

Cristina: But if they're the same size. Same size like mass?

Jack: If they're the same mass or density.

Cristina: Whichever one, whatever, it's a tie.

Jack: I don't know. That's the question. I suppose it could be. But would it be like maybe not?

Cristina: Maybe not? I don't know. What do you imagine?

Jack: Well, the question is, would they be sucking in at the same rate? It would like one be pushing and the other one sucking at the same rate, or is there a difference between them Regardless of them being the same mass, and as a result there is some sort of difference in which maybe the white hole is too fast for the black hole and there's too much matter spilling out, or the black hole is too fast for the white hole and there's no matter being left.

Cristina: I guess that could either.

Jack: Yeah. Yeah. That would really be how? If we could figure that out, then we can answer that question.

Cristina: So the answer is no answer.

Jack: Maybe.

Cristina: Maybe. Well, the next question is, at what point in time did humans become the cancer of earth?

Jack: Industrial revolution power. Once we had the ability to control massive amounts of power, which happened as soon as industrial technology came along. And we could build entire cities in moments.

Cristina: And destroy the water and the sky.

Jack: Yep. Pollute everything.

Cristina: Turning.

Jack: Rotting Everything. Yes, rotting everything.

Cristina: Okay.

Jack: As soon as that happened, pollution's doorways opened and earth began to die.

Cristina: Yep. And now it's trying to kill us. Or it's dying.

Jack: It's taking medicine.

Cristina: Taking medicine.

Jack: Anyways, running out of time. But I hope the first couple of you who had totally awful questions never send anymore. And then the rest of you who had more interesting questions keep sending in interesting questions. But don't be like those other people.

Cristina: Don't be like those other people.

Jack: Those other people just, like, don't believe in books or something.

Cristina: Mm.

Jack: Terrible people. Terrible people. Look, if you want other episodes where we have questions being asked that you can listen to the answers of, and they weren't as bad as the ones in this episode because people cared more. The questions that made the cut. If you want to hear the questions that did make the cut, you can find us on socials and maybe there's clips. Right. But. But those socials are alluscomville pod, which are Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.

Cristina: Yes. So remember to subscribe, rate, and review the show.

Jack: Yes. Word of mouth is extremely powerful. So tell people about the program and perhaps so they'll listen and realize they'll come to the conclusion that they need to send questions to make up the difference for all the bad ones.

Cristina: Yes. This has been the rambling podcast. Take nothing personal and thanks for listening. Bye.

Jack: Bye.

Cristina: Yeah, well, Adam Sandler is just doing voices and I don't know.

Jack: No Steve Martin probably had original work. I doubt that. He was like, all just beating down things.

Cristina: I don't know.

Jack: But like, he's the natural evolution of like clowns hitting each other with pies.

Cristina: Right, Exactly. Yeah, he's. That's like.

Jack: He's that. But elegant.

Cristina: Yeah. You know, like you've seen these things before. It's just new and funny because it's a new version of it.

Jack: Relatable or whatever.

Cristina: Refreshing refresh.

Jack: Like instead of the old school pie in phase, it would be like everyone.

Cristina: Copies a pie on one person's face.

Jack: What? Yes, I guess I would think that.

Cristina: Was that movie with the airplane. He was not in that movie, was he?

Jack: But there's like a. No, there's a point to why he's doing it. Right. There's. There is a narrative being told to the actions. Right. Let's say you did do a bunch of people hitting one guy in the face with a pie. There's a societal message about a bunch of people attacking one guy about this whole, you know, whoever's the focus is probably going to be attacked by the rest of us, regardless of what the case might be. And that's sort of how reality looks. But also, his comedy is deep and profound because it's making commentary on these things. Like the video for this Is America. You know, it's just a bunch of things happening, and you're getting information that kind of tells you the narrative. So the slapstick comedy should, in theory.

Cristina: Be the same, I guess. I don't see it. Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by great dots.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister, with social media managed by Amber Black.