Recovery Chapter 2: Envy


Short poem exploring the frustrations and struggles of being emotionally closed off and the envy it invokes when witnessing others being expressive with ease.


Trying to spit out
Growth stinting feelings
The ceiling continues close
It’s filling up the boat
Half full is half empty when one’s lost all hope
Can’t expose what is lodged
Stuck in the throat

Poets and musicians open up with such precision
Appears they speak directly to the peak of embodied insecure mystique
Endlessly study the greats
Learn their ways to make expression less bleak
The rage gets in the way when skills are on display
Mocking whomever hasn’t learned to play
The weak
Observing question marks
Searching for the source of the spark
The need to bark dark thoughts lights the start
How do they do it?
Fluid, they’re going through it
Truth is not being able to do it is true ache
For what comes out is the true fake
Make no mistake
What they do is too great
The imitation has no taste
Made with no love
A disgrace
No flattery here
Falling flat on the face