To Everyone

143/365

Mean little kid
Big mouth, huge head
Wishing every second he was dead
He’s on the edge with the edge of the knife pressed against the side of his neck questioning whether to cut the jugular or juggle life instead
Hyper social forced to stay internal ‘cause curious words go punished
He just wants to learn though
But people aren’t used to being heard
When he asks questions they think he’s mocking or attacking
He just wants to know what happened
Curiosity is a sin in a world riddled with stubborn ignorance bubbling within the hearts of the broken human corruption
Learned alone ‘cause no one was ever home
I mean they were physically there
Dealing with their own shit
Somewhere else in their heads
But it wasn’t fair, I was just a little kid
I hid whatever happened inside
Refusing to cry ‘cause someone might walk by and give me “a real reason to cry”
And then I’d be back to wanting to die

Became curious adult not giving a fuck what the stick up anyone’s butt feels like on its way out
Because whether they scream or shout like ripping a bandage it’ll no longer be there, exposed will be the damage
And it’s not fair, but I learned to not care over the years being right here talking to you with your attention over there
So fuck you, life is what’s not fair
Shit happens
You’ll get over it, I hope, don’t choke on this, let go of it
Or maybe not, fuck it, choke on it
Wait, where am I at?
Right, fuck you, your opinion is stupid, I don’t want it, please don’t put yourself through this
Piercing gaze
I won’t blink
I might be crazy
I’ve thought it for days
I question the bodies I’ve laid in my lair after having an argument with them the same way

But you’ll be okay
Believe what I say
Its fine
It’s not like you’re an idiot
Those are the bodies of people unwilling to listen to the second party in the conversation
And in their case I forgot to mention how I solve the problem