Wife Of An Addict

In sickness and health, for better or worse,

I promised forever — it became my curse.

I’m sure that sounds like a horrible wife,

Don’t judge my words without knowing my life.

I didn't know I'd made vows to a stranger,

    Instead of my protector, he was the danger.

    It wasn't so bad when it started at first,

    He was always sorry, blamed it on thirst .

He worked every day and paid all the bills,

So what if he needed a few reckless thrills?

Who was I to be mad when he stumbled home at dawn,

Never thanked for keeping him off the cold lawn?

 I watched my best friend become a stranger,

I thought love could save him —he'd rather have danger.

I paced the floors till they wore down thin,

Watching the clock, praying he’d make it back in.

All the lies, the violence, the venomous hate,

He took our love and made it something to desecrate.

In sickness I stayed, no matter the cost,

I remember everything — you remember what’s lost.

    You checked out with a bottle, escaped every pain,

Woke up and decided I must be insane.

I begged and I pleaded, put vows on the line,

But you belonged to the bottle — you were never mine.

 Years on that wheel I couldn’t outrun,

Blue lights, handcuffs — another deal done.

You went off to heal, to be broken and saved,

I stayed married to damage your drinking had made.

I showed up smiling on family day,

Clean clothes, empty stomach, nothing to say.

I listened to meetings explain your disease,

    How cruel it was to you — never mention of me.

  They said that you'll need my support and encouragement 

    dont make his recovery more difficult and absolutely no discouragement! 

    you're so brave and strong to have made it with this sickness that you carry

    but now you've got the love and help from this new family I find scary

    he shows me his new coin as if it's gonna pay the rent

    like it settled our debt or the nights he'd forget

    he tells me all the steps he's made and how now he gets a phone

    still he has no time to talk to me I'm left to deal with life alone

After all the hell I lived and love I gave,

You’re the hero now —but I’m not the one you save.

I’d complicate healing, recovery first,

After I stood by your side for better But mostly for worse. 

 so forgive me for doubting the stories they sell,

I won’t play the saint while you’re saved from hell.

I’ll be your villain — it's better than being your wife,

I hope sobriety gives back your memory

and you finally feel every moment of life.

By Simple Sue

From: United States