Unsure, Afraid, Insane

When you know what you are planning to do will cause you pain, but you just can't help yourself.

————

Here I am once again, 

Unsure, afraid, insane. 

Emotion surging through me, 

A wild and dangerous flame. 

'What if' and 'If only,'

 Like a mantra claims my brain. 

While I play out this insanity, 

In which pleasure echoes pain.

It's said mistakes and consequence 

Are God's tools that help us to learn

That if we play with fire, 

We are likely to get burned. 

Still, many times throughout my life, 

I've jumped into the flames. 

And each and every time I did, 

I was astonished by the pain. 

Now, once again, I'm on the edge, 

Eyes closed to all I've learned. 

Posed to leap and  full of faith,

That this time, I won't get burned. 

If this defines insanity, 

Then, by definition, I'm insane. 

Because I am expecting new results,

From behavior that's the same.

I'm expecting that the future

Will not reflect the past.

That the results of unwise choices

Will bring happiness at last.

I'm fighting with reality,

Drawing closer to the flame.

And here I am again,

Unsure, Afraid, insane.

By Linda Troxell

From: United States

Website: https://humblyseekingthelordblog.com

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