Peter's Doubt

Do you think you would have no doubt about Jesus' divinity if you had been there with Him and witnessed the miracles He performed? I wonder, because I know I've talked myself out of believing some miraculous events in my life.

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You watched as He collected His team of misfits, looked on as He befriended the unsavory. You traveled with Him, as He traveled with them, and you saw not a hint of vainglory. It restored your hope when you witnessed how He treated those who were vilified; He led them gently from shadow to light, as He dispelled their reason to hide. 

You lived years of laughter and camaraderie, interspersed with confusion and awe. Wondering if your Rabbi was simply a man, or was He actually the Son of God. He often spoke in parables that you never quite understood. But He encouraged you not to worry; when the time came, He promised you would. 

Still, looking back, you wonder why none of you were prepared. Why did His death blindside all of you, when it was something He frequently shared?  But then, you thought He was the warrior Messiah; after all, you were raised on that myth. So, your focus was on conquering Rome; you never once imagined His death.

And now, when you try to revisit your time with Him, try to go back and immerse in His love; you can't recapture the intensity of the love those moments were made of.

And it's always painful to look back, for it awakens the shame and guilt you endure. It's not easy knowing you let God down by breaking promises to which you swore. 

And you feel you're still letting Him down by holding onto your guilt and shame. Because He only agreed to die on the cross to forgive in the Father's name. Of course, you know how to break free from guilt. He taught you how to let go of shame. Simply fall on your knees and repent; for He's still forgiving in the Father's name. 

You witnessed the nets filling with fish, watched as the leper's skin became clear. In awe, you watched a child's life restored, and demons cast out amid fear. You were present for so many miracles, more than you are able to count. So, why, when you wake alone in the dark, do you still wrestle with the voice of doubt?

By Linda Troxell

From: United States

Website: https://www.humblyseekingthelordblog.com

Facebook URL: www.facebook.com/linda.troxell