Crusader

As I awoke this morning from the bed where I had lain,

A sense of apprehension and anticipated pain.

I cannot find the weapons to combat a hurtful mind,

No thought of good to shield me, no prayer of any kind.

I pound a fist of rage within, no outlet can I see,

An ineffectual feeling that my mind will not let be.

I seek to find some happiness, or even restless peace;

Remembered thoughts from long ago, as light and soft as fleece.

Smiles and laughter’s echoes seem to fade beneath this pall,

The strengths on which I built in life, no longer can I call.

My mind is beaten down and hurt, but refuses to give in,

I’m not sure that I’d notice, did I lose or did I win?

It seems so easy to let slip, kind thoughts, between the cracks

Not trying to dispel the smog which spews from mouth-like stacks.

Soft words can not strike down the shields of minds that will not hear,

Most actions, misinterpreted , no chances to make clear.

How can my world be skewed so far, without me falling off?

I need so many answers, but admit I’m at a loss.

The waves that are the vagaries of life have cast ashore

My thoughts and caring efforts, which time seems to now ignore.

The more I think of things to help, it goes from bad to worse,

I cringe and seek some solace, putting feelings into verse.

Seeking only clarity, a path to love and light,

It can’t be wrong to look for good, and not give up my fight.

By James Geehring

Facebook URL: https:facebook.com/jamesgeehring