Cincinnatus

A boy named Cincinnatus learns Roman history and decides to model his life after the ancient hero.

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When Cincinnatus was born, his father made a pronouncement.

"Adelaide," he said to his wife, "I'd like to name our son Cincinnatus."

"But we don't live in Cincinnati. And if we did, wouldn't it be confusing to have a first name so much like the name of a city?"

"Cincinnatus was a great figure in Roman history. I always enjoy telling my students about him."

"Why? What did he do?"

"He was a farmer, born in Rome about 2500 years ago. He was asked to leave his farm to get involved in politics. Then, when he was done he went back to the farm. He served his country more than once, but each time he went back to run the farm and be with his family. The Romans considered him to be a model of what a politician should be."

"Let me guess. It was because he didn't try for unlimited power. Unlike some people today. "

"Right you are."

"And the original Cincinnatus didn't try to stay in office for his whole adult life, unlike some people today who don't know how to do anything but be a politician."

"Right you are, again."

"So if our boy becomes a politician, he'll know not to stay in office forever. Just do what you have to do, and then go back or go on to something else."

"Like farming?"

"Not necessarily. Of course, farming is an honorable profession. And so is teaching."

Her husband laughed. "Most of the time, I guess. No, it's always an honorable profession, even when you have to deal with difficult students or parents or administrators or school board members."

So that was that. Adelaide and Herman Bellecroft named their child Cincinnatus John, just in case he wanted to be C.J. in later years. Still, both parents hoped that he would revere his first name, be proud of his heritage, and act accordingly.

And that's what happened. Cincinnatus became C.J. in elementary school, but in high school everything changed.

Cincinnatus and his class were studying Roman history. His father had told his son about Cincinnatus and his now obsolete (or so it seemed) legacy. When it came time for a report on ancient Rome, Cincinnatus went to work to learn more about the Roman hero. In class he had to deliver his report aloud in front of the class:

"Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus was born about 519 BCE. He was a farmer who was most interested in tilling the land and providing food for his family. There were factions within the city and the surrounding countryside. In the year 460 a consul named Publius Valerius Poplicola was murdered by a group of plebeians, and Cincinnatus was asked to become the new consul. He was not totally successful in stopping the fighting, and before too long he went back to farming.

"When the Romans were trying to suppress the plebeian rebellion and also waging war with a tribe called the Aequi, they once again asked Cincinnatus for help. Tradition tells us that he was plowing his field when he received the news that he was now the official dictator. This is not as bad as it sounds today. A dictator was appointed during an emergency, and his term was to last only six months. Cincinnatus knew that he had a duty to the city of Rome. He managed to recruit many soldiers and led them in a victory against the Aequi. Then Cincinnatus went back to farming. He had been dictator for only sixteen days.

"We think that Cincinnatus was appointed dictator again when a man named Spurius Maelius wanted, it was said, to bribe the poor and somehow make himself king of Rome. The historian Livy tells us that Cincinnatus was now eighty years old. He ordered Maelius to appear before him, but Maelius ran away and ended up being killed. Once again, Cincinnatus took care of things, and once again he resigned, this time after just twenty-one days.

"Most of you know me as C.J. My name is Cincinnatus John. Now that I have discovered the details about the life of the great Roman, Cincinnatus, I would like to be called by my full first name. Thank you."

The classroom burst into applause. Then someone started a chant: "Cincinnatus! Cincinnatus! Cincinnatus!" The teacher, Ms. Munchkopf, joined in, then asked for silence.

"That was a good report, C.J. Sorry, I mean Cincinnatus. We may have to lengthen the school day since we will now be using extra syllables to call on you." A few students laughed. "Maybe you will run for office some day, Cincinnatus. But if you do, you are going to have to observe term limits, even if they don't exist for your position."

Cincinnatus never forgot the original Cincinnatus, nor did he forget the enthusiasm of his classmates and his teacher. When he was old enough, he ran for city council in his hometown of Ashleyville, Ohio. After two terms, he ran for mayor. After two terms as mayor, he became a state representative, and after two terms he moved to the Ohio Senate. He also married Annie, a lawyer who had been in his class the day of his speech on Cincinnatus. In fact, she always claimed that she was the instigator of the Cincinnatus cheer.

Then Cincinnatus decided to run for the United States Senate. He ran on a platform worthy of his namesake. "I have served my town and my state for a number of years. Like the ancient Roman Cincinnatus, I knew when I had achieved my goals and when it was time to move on. My promise to you is that if elected to the United States Senate from the great state of Ohio, I will serve no more than two terms. It's time to get rid of politicians who hold office for life, like some sort of royalty. No more than two terms, and then I'm going to become a farmer, like the original Cincinnatus!"

"You are?" asked his wife, after her husband's first campaign speech. "Since when?"

"It just came to me. Guess I want to be more like the original Cincinnatus."

"Do you know anything about farming?"

"Not exactly. But I can learn. Would you like to try farming?"

"I think I'd be more interested in taking care of the legalities and hiring people to do the work. What about you? Do you want to actually till the soil yourself?"

"If the original Cincinnatus could do it, so can I. Of course, I won't have the same plow he did. Unless I did some research and had one custom-made."

In the end Cincinnatus John Bellecroft was elected, then reelected. Toward the end of his second term, Rufus Callegorn, his campaign manager, started urging Cincinnatus to run again.

"Can't do it, Rufus. Have to abide by the rules."

"But you'd be a shoo-in."

"Look, I don't want to go down in history as a traitor to the original Cincinnatus."

"Strong words, strong words. OK. Maybe you should run for president."

"You're not serious."

"I think we've proven in this country that just about anyone can become president. Why not you? Your name doesn't sound any stranger than Millard Fillmore. And you wouldn't be able to run after serving two terms."

"Something just doesn't seem right about that idea. I already think I've stretched the ideals of old Cincinnatus more than I should have. It's time to buy a plow, a few acres, a cow, and whatever else someone with my name needs to become a farmer."

"Good thing your wife's a lawyer. You won't starve."

By Anita G. Gorman

From: United States

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