A Day without HIM

It was supposed to be any other ordinary day- spending time with him, laughing together, teasing each other, or making unlaid plans.

Everything was going fine, but I don’t know why I was getting an uneasy feeling since the previous night. I saw a weird dream and for a while, I felt like he was near me, but he was not. What was that… I can’t really tell. I shrugged off that feeling and tried to think about him- his smile, his voice, his words. It helped me for a bit to divert my mind. My thoughts were filled with his. Indeed, it made me feel better, but I couldn’t shake that feeling out.

That day, I woke up earlier than usual and messaged him. Telling him that I was missing him. It happened before too, I always got this uneasy feeling for him and every time there’s a reason behind that. I don’t know why that happens. For the last few months, it has been happening frequently. I had shared this with him and he told me that my mind and body are accepting what they used to reject before. Maybe, the planets are in the right inclination and everything will be perfect. I shrugged, who knows.

Like every day, I waited for him to come. So, we could talk, and possibly I could get rid of this feeling. Even a message from him, a small one will work wonders. I waited, pacing back and forth, fidgeting and checking the watch again, and again I waited for him. He didn’t come. Our usual meeting time had passed and again a small voice inside me told that maybe he’s not gonna make it. He will. I whispered- to prove myself wrong, to shut down that stupid voice. I waited for him. More than three hours passed and there was no sign of him.

Suddenly, I checked my phone and found out that he was on. He was typing something. Relief washed over my body. A little smile appeared on my face. At last. But that comfort was momentarily. That easiness got shattered when I received his message. Because of an infection, he’s in the hospital. For a moment, my vision was blinded. Are you joking? I want to know that he was just fooling around. But when he sent me his pic, it was confirmed that he’s not playing with me. My other part was really in pain. Why? That was not supposed to happen. The part who should deal with the pain was ME not him. My head started to hurt and my heart nearly stopped. Lots of questions were flooding in my mind. With trembling hands, all I could type was Are you okay?

He replied back, I’ll be okay. I’ll give you regular updates, so you don’t miss me much.

Really, I was already missing you. If we hadn’t been miles apart, I’d already be there with him. Alas, the damage was already done. All I could do was hope for the best and pray for his speedy recovery. I was thanking him from the bottom of my heart for telling me about it, despite being in a critical situation. I know I love him but after his message, I loved him more. I replied to him, no matter what, I’ll be always looking out for you. That’s my promise. A silent promise that I did to myself and to him.

My vision was blurring but taking a deep breath I messaged him again, I luv you. He knew I might be losing my nerve and he did his best to tell me that this will not last long.

The time we spent today was too short, it was so little that I couldn't ask him if anybody was there with him. When he needed me the most I was far away. It was frustrating. Moments later, I already made up my mind if I got any more bad news, then I’m off to be with him.

The thought of spending the whole day without him was terrifying. Whenever it happened, it felt like something was wrong that day. Soare is incomplete without his Adonis. I tried different ways to focus on something else. All efforts were useless. The more I tried to not to think about it, the more my mind betrayed me. It was a pain to pass every second. I was here physically, but mentally I was not. All day I was thinking about how he was doing? It was torture and I never ever want to deal with it again. Every time I think about him tears took their place.

Somehow, the hours flew by and I only got relieved when he sent his photo letting me know he’s good. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I smiled. It’s fine. Everything’s well. He will be okay. That should be the case as this part is incomplete without her other part. As Soare is nothing, without Adonis. The part who always looks out for her. And the part who always polishes her and protects her… has to be always well and good.

By Soare Stapanire

From: India

Website: https://about.me/soare

Twitter: soare_stapanire

Facebook URL: https://www.facebook.com/soarestapanire/