Rambling 178: Secret Spy Time Machine
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Do spies have secret advanced technology too advanced for a commoner to know? Was Austin Powers frozen into the future while a time machine was sitting around? Is the CIA better than the Navy Seals? The duo jumps head first into a dissection of Secret Agent Spies and their lifestyles!
+Episode Details
Topics Discussed:
- Spies
- Austin Powers
- Secret Advanced Technology
- Mariana’s Web
- Time Travel
- Time Paradox
- Are Spies People?
- Crack Sniper
- Dumb Pirates
- Tom Hanks as Jack Sparrow
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+Transcript
Cristina: Warning. This program contains strong themes meant for a mature audience. Discretion is advised.
Jack: Going live in 5, 4.
Cristina: What does live mean? Welcome to the Rambling Podcast, the show where we ground humanity's most absurd and baffling ideals in childish ways. I'm your host, Christina.
Jack: And I'm Jack.
Cristina: And if you haven't yet, remember to hit that subscribe button. Get notified the second new episodes are released.
Jack: Yes. And also remember that this show is best with a listening partner. So just send somebody a lovely letter.
Cristina: No.
Jack: That makes them come to you, then you listen to the show together.
Cristina: Lovely letter. A lovely letter it's gonna be.
Jack: In that letter, it's gonna say, hey, you're real cool, and I think you're awesome, and I'd like to share listening to this show with you.
Cristina: And if they decline?
Jack: Well, then the letter explodes.
Cristina: Mm. How's that gonna happen?
Jack: I have no idea. But this has happened in movies. Like, they send you the letter, and then you read the letter, and then spy movies load or some s***. It's like. It's a piece of paper, dude. How do you make exploding paper?
Cristina: Because spies have things and that normal people don't have.
Jack: Also, like, a little TV of some sort.
Cristina: Right.
Jack: Or recorder. It's usually something already.
Cristina: Yes. Yeah.
Jack: It'd be sick if it was a letter.
Cristina: If it was a letter, it's like a button on it that's.
Jack: But it's a bomber. What if it's just paper, and then still somehow this is gonna blow up.
Cristina: Or it's gonna set on fire. It's gonna just. I don't know.
Jack: How would they. Okay, it's gonna set on fire. Sweet. How does it work?
Cristina: As soon as you open it, it just.
Jack: That's the only way. That means you'd never.
Cristina: Have to put it back together. It's part of the job.
Jack: This is easy to solve. If we're talking about, like, in some place that has magic, right? Like Harry Potter or some s***, this message is just gonna, you know, spontaneously combust.
Cristina: I mean, I guess you would expect that in that type of world.
Jack: Exactly. That's less weird. It's like this message is private, and then it just disappeared. Yeah, but in the real world, allegedly, wherever spy bullshit's taking place, you get a letter, you read it, and then it lights on fire. It says, throw it away. It's gonna light on fire. And then the letter just burns.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And leaves no electronic anything behind. It just burns up into nothing. How the f***.
Cristina: Because we have the technology to look like magic. I don't know. Or at least the spies do. I'm guessing aliens, though. The spies get their stuff from aliens.
Jack: Here's the thing. If spies like James Bond.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: They have crazy advanced tech that even governments of the world don't have.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: If that's real, then the like New World Order or the secret government or whatever, that has to be real. Right. Because there's too much power. Just they're suppressing us intentionally. Because they literally have the stuff. Why aren't they sharing it? Right. It's because they. There's some advantage there.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Like in the real world, who could f*** with James Bond? People who aren't from his world of spies and super villains.
Cristina: Exactly. Spies are dealing with super villains?
Jack: Yeah. Like one on one. No. He could kill everybody in a room.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: That's how skilled these individuals are. Allegedly. He could off everybody in a room without a gun. Just beat them all to death.
Cristina: Like Spy Kids. That's a horrible example. But they have technology too.
Jack: They do. Is spy inherently techie?
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Right. Because James Bond has a f*** ton.
Cristina: That guy that can travel to the past, what's his name? Well, he travels to the future, I guess, first. Oh my gosh, that old movie.
Jack: Old movie? The Time Machine.
Cristina: With a spy.
Jack: With a spy.
Cristina: Michael.
Jack: Michael Cera.
Cristina: Mike. No, he has the same name as a villain that murders people.
Jack: Mike Myers.
Cristina: Yes, right, that comedian guy.
Jack: Okay, yeah, Mike Myers.
Cristina: His movie.
Jack: Michael Myers is the killer.
Cristina: His movie.
Jack: Austin Powers.
Cristina: Yes, there you go.
Jack: Okay, what was your point?
Cristina: He has a. He can travel through time.
Jack: Wait, they had that level of technology. That's how that happened. I don't remember that. I know he was.
Cristina: They froze him to take him to the future, but then they had an actual time machine to take him to the past.
Jack: And then the joke is, if you had a time machine, why do you freeze me? Well, I get. Haha, that's funny. Yes. So they had a time machine, but they instead opted into freezing him. Most of them dying of old age. And then a whole new group of people with the same time machine just being like, here, go back.
Cristina: Yes, I guess. Right. That's. That's very strange.
Jack: Unless they didn't. Unless the time machine got invented within the time that he was frozen.
Cristina: Yes, that's possible.
Jack: Solved. But they still have that level of technology.
Cristina: They could have used it and I don't know.
Jack: I'm saying they're absurdly advanced.
Cristina: Exactly.
Jack: Aliens, man. Right. Unless. No, see, here's a problem. If we can't. If we can't conceive of how to do it. We immediately think aliens. But it's like how the f*** would.
Cristina: Blow up the moon? Isn't that his evil plan was to blow up the moon?
Jack: Look, that doesn't make him an alien. Or that or even suggests that he got that technology from aliens. That suggests that maybe that's super our technology. No, no, no. We just have secretly enough steps already that we could just build something like that casually. But normal people don't have that. Can you imagine if a normal person had access to that information? What would a normal end of if. If it was just here. I'm gonna upload onto the Internet how anybody with enough funds can create a time machine. A nuclear bomb. Oh, just. You can make a nuke in your house. Here's the blueprint.
Cristina: Yeah. That's crazy.
Jack: That's crazy. How many we got? School shootings, bro. You can. I don't have to go into school. I could just throw this in through the window and clear the block.
Cristina: Oh, let me.
Jack: Let me do that instead.
Cristina: That's crazy.
Jack: Oh, man. That bully from next door.
Cristina: Even if they give out the blueprints, is it even that easy?
Jack: Depends. Is it? Have we secretly moved so forward in technology that we've figured out how to do it in few steps, but we can't give the normal person that information. If we gave that to the normal person. There's too many crooked m************.
Cristina: But could they do anything with it?
Jack: Yes. That would be the super villain. Those are the normal people who got a hold of the f****** thing. They became super villains. Some of them. Some of them got a hold of the thing and became superheroes.
Cristina: Or his super villain has his own technology. It doesn't look like.
Jack: Well, no, not everybody has access to it. It's just again, because it's hidden, different roads lead to different secrets. You get my point. It's not that there's some spy Internet that he connected to and he's like, oh, here's the one thing we're all gonna see.
Cristina: You don't know.
Jack: I mean, that'd be crazy.
Cristina: They have a spy Internet. They have so many things.
Jack: There's a lot of dark web. It's huge. It's way bigger.
Cristina: There's a spy social media in there probably.
Jack: Maybe the FBI has stuff like that. They scramble things through there.
Cristina: I mean, they have messages.
Jack: Basically everything exists there. You can think of the levels of the Internet as the dimensions. Oh, you kind of exist in all of them.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: That's the same thing. So every website exists on every level of the web.
Cristina: Okay, well, scratch that.
Jack: No, everything in the surface that we see exists in every level below it.
Cristina: But not everything below it.
Jack: Exactly. So the dark web exists in the deep web and in the other thing, but it doesn't exist in the surface web, which is the normal web most of us see.
Cristina: And what's the deep web?
Jack: The deep web is only in the deep web and in the following thing, but it's not in the dark web or in the surface.
Cristina: Is there a following thing or is that how far you know that it goes?
Jack: I. There's. It's theorized, you know, it's conspiracies for the Internet.
Cristina: That there's something deeper than the deep?
Jack: Yes, that there is. The. The marionette. The marionette or something like that.
Cristina: That's what it's called.
Jack: Yeah, it's. Man. What is it called? The Mariana. Deeper than deep web. The Marionetta. Yes. The Mariana's web. Yeah, I was close.
Cristina: What, so it's a urban legend type of thing?
Jack: Well, it might be real or it might not be real. Because the deeper you go, the more obscure. And by the way, I got that wrong. It's deep, then dark. But the less. The more obscure it is, the deeper it is. I mean, the more obscure it is, the harder it is to find. To the point that if there are these really secret.
Cristina: Why would they name it that? I feel like it's not.
Jack: Nobody named it that. It was just like the urban legend is called that.
Cristina: Yeah, but like, why didn't they stick to what it was? Like, it's deep and then it's dark, and then I feel like the next thing is scary. I don't know, like, you know, deep, dark, dangerous web. Dangerous.
Jack: Oh, that's a book. Deep, dark and dangerous.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Well, why. Why didn't they stick to it?
Jack: I don't know.
Cristina: Because they didn't want a name after a book that's probably unrelated. Interesting, because this has a really cool name, but it doesn't fit.
Jack: Yeah, who cares? Why does it need to fit?
Cristina: I don't. Because it's weird.
Jack: Paths for symmetry.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Yeah, no, I would rather if it did blend in.
Cristina: Yeah. Or if they called the other two something nice, like Mariana. What is it? Mary?
Jack: Mariana.
Cristina: Mariana.
Jack: Mariana's Web.
Cristina: How do you know that's not a book character?
Jack: It could be. I have no idea. But there is the possibility of deep things, and I don't think spies would use that.
Cristina: Why not?
Jack: I mean, they probably have their own thing again, like FBI. But I don't think it would have, like, the secrets of the world, you know?
Cristina: Oh, no. But it will be somewhere in the deep or dark.
Jack: Yeah, they're like, but would they up? I mean, how do you get the data to somebody? Right?
Cristina: I don't know. How did the FBI do it?
Jack: Well, they literally just use that. Yeah, but like, if you're more secret than the FBI, are you still on the Internet? It's. At some point you have to remove the possibility of anyone finding. Anybody finding out. So how far do you go before even Mariana's web is like, no, they.
Cristina: Can'T even get letters. Then this whole letters thing in this.
Jack: You have to personally deliver.
Cristina: You have to see them face to face.
Jack: That's what I'm saying. You have to personally deliver whatever it is.
Cristina: Yeah. Yes. You have to verbally tell them the message. Because outside most likely. I don't even know if that's safe. I don't know. It has to be somewhere where no one.
Jack: No, no.
Cristina: And the person.
Jack: Because maybe the fear isn't. Because you're assuming all the situations are. Nobody can know.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Maybe a lot of the time it's about just getting the information without it being corrupted. So I can get it to you and tell you, who gives a f*** if anybody finds out? But it didn't change between me and you. Somebody needed to tell you because somebody could see the message. If somebody could see the message, they could tamper with the message and let's say press the button, right? Are there. Did Russia hit the button? And United States is about to blow up as a whole because of some super mega duper ultra spy weapon that Putin has. Right? Press the button. Nuke is coming. Well, we gotta confirm. Maybe this is bullshit. So in the time we're trying to confirm, instead of us hitting the button. Well, somebody has to go, I can send him an email. But how many people are okay with this happening? Maybe a Russian want to fear and change it so that it says yes, yes or no. They didn't. So that they don't press a button. He doesn't want us to press a button. So he's like, no, it was a hoax. There's nothing coming.
Cristina: So then what's the new.
Jack: The person would just walk up to you, the president, with the button, and be like, hey, it's real. Hit the button. Instead of me sending an email and then I'm changing it.
Cristina: So it says to go from Russia to back to America.
Jack: Well, no, the. This is just a cycle of information, essentially, that. That's. Maybe that's the goal. Maybe the goal Isn't like, who cares who hears it? There could be a million people with you in the room when I tell you. Mm, doesn't matter anymore. It's mainly about the information making it to you uncorrupted.
Cristina: Yeah, but if the person is on the other side of the world, do they have to physically reach you?
Jack: I mean, yeah, in this specific scenario, that would never work and we'd all die.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So just hit it just in case. But maybe sometimes it's not time sensitive. It's just I need the information to get to you uncorrupted.
Cristina: I feel like just a phone call would be easy. And just using code words like, why would anyone know if you have a secret language already?
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: I mean, if someone's hearing, but it has to still sound normal.
Jack: Yeah, I guess if it's about no one hearing, then yeah.
Cristina: Yeah. Like, if they're asking about the nobody.
Jack: Hearing before you, that's also a different one.
Cristina: No one hearing before you.
Jack: Yeah. Maybe the information needs to get to you first.
Jack: That's also a scenario in which me telling you matters more than me sending you something. Because somebody could. Yes, maybe delete it.
Cristina: And they know I know, but I don't know. Like, if there was a spy, I still am thinking of the spy in Russia. He would have to give a message. Of course in America. But how? Like, it wouldn't be like, yes, they have a bomb or they touch.
Jack: Look, in a situation like that, yes, they'd use a phone or something, but.
Cristina: They wouldn't, like, just straight out say what it is that they need to say.
Jack: They. Yeah, they'd have some codes and stuff.
Cristina: I don't know.
Jack: Yeah, that would definitely be it.
Jack: And probably nothing even crazy. It's just, you know, I already know what certain things mean when I say them, and so do you. And then we could just talk. A casual conversation.
Cristina: Yeah. Yeah, I guess. So they don't need to know super technology then.
Jack: No.
Cristina: But they have super technology or something futuristic technology.
Jack: Do they? That's the question, Right? If they do have super futuristic technology. It's not that. The super futuristic, as opposed to that. They're just keeping us. Not super futuristic. They're making us slower than the capability.
Cristina: Yes. But it seems like they also are ahead of, like, the army. And the army always wants that information.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: So how do they keep it away from them?
Jack: The same way they keep it away from us. They're great at their jobs.
Cristina: Oh, okay. Okay. Because they would very much bother them.
Jack: Here's the thing. If you have if you're in the. In the military and you rank up a million billion times and you're really important in the military, high rank, you're old. You're not gonna do that really young. You're gonna have positions leading people for a while. And you got to be in there a certain amount of time before you become big boss. Guy that just hangs out at base giving out the orders. There's time requirements and there's rank requirements.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: Or something like that. But in the spy world. In the spy world. Well, first point is if you'll be old, too old if you're high rank. So if you have the authority to think I want spy tech. Well, what are you gonna do? You're gonna send a soldier over there? That doesn't make sense. How do you know they don't go rogue? You gotta go do it yourself. But you can't do it yourself. You're already too old because that's the only reason you became the rank you are. You've been here a while.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So? Okay, that scenario would never happen. Second, you do send a soldier in. Soldier goes in, and then he learns the tricks of the spy trade. Why the f*** would he go back to the military? Just become a spy now. You're way better than they'll ever be. There's no reason to go back to that garbage.
Cristina: That'd be so funny if that's what happens. Every time they send an army person over there or even groups of army people, they just.
Jack: They lose them all. Because the problem is, how would the military ever get a hold of the tech? Well, they wouldn't. Everybody who can will just stay over there. Why would they go back? Would be the point. Just weird abstract loyalty to military is.
Cristina: Don't they have that?
Jack: They have loyalty to the comrades, to your team, to the homies? Yeah, that's nothing to do with the military. Your homies have the skill. If you have the skill. You all just become spies at that point.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: You're only as good as your unit. You're supposed to behave like equals, so nobody's better. You're supposed to be on top of that we are one mentality. So.
Cristina: So they'll give up on the mission though. Just cuz spice stuff is cooler.
Jack: Spice stuff is the mission Wouldn't make sense. You'd eventually just be. What? You're both working for the government?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So what? Just one response to the government. The other one is authorized to behave outside the bounds of the government's demands.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: There's only advantages in Being part of things like the CIA, you know?
Cristina: Yes, like time traveling.
Jack: That's crazy. But like they could totally. Or there's something way deeper than something like the CIA because we're assuming, you know, spy is CIA. But what if there's more secret spy? Something way better than even CIA. That being said, the military has its equivalents like Navy seals.
Cristina: Oh, okay. You think they have the. You think they have the technology? Like spies though, or similar, maybe.
Jack: That's interesting. Right?
Cristina: Except for the time traveling, of course. That's just a crazy thing to have.
Jack: Yeah, and it was also a comedy movie.
Cristina: So how many spy movies have time traveling? Time traveling?
Jack: I don't think I've seen another one.
Cristina: Okay, but if James Bond ends up with a time machine, then what? Then do we believe they have time?
Jack: We'll assume they all have the same technology. And yes, they all have a time machine. But why? Doesn't mean aliens. Maybe they're just highly advanced. Keeping everybody down. Yes, or not keeping everybody down, but we also can't share. It's dangerous.
Cristina: It feels like you can't even use it though. Like you have it just to have it because you wanted it. But like, what can you really do with a time machine without messing things up? It feels like just a toy that you can show off. Like, look, I have a time machine, but I can't actually use the time machine. No one can use the time machine.
Jack: Yeah, it would be impossible, wouldn't it?
Cristina: Yeah. So it's just like, it's just there to show off and maybe someone unlucky will go into the time machine, I guess.
Jack: Forward time. Yes, that makes sense. Backward time, that doesn't. But if somehow we figured out backwards time, we'd have to consider all the f****** problems. There's so many.
Cristina: Exactly. There's no way we could.
Jack: I'm saying we're assuming we figured it out. Yeah, but that doesn't change all the crap you can do. You just, you can never go forward if you go back. That should be the rule.
Cristina: Okay. Because they're spy. So they might just do it because they, they don't have anyone to. I mean, the point of being a spy is not having any connections, right?
Jack: Yeah. To just be an anonymous no one.
Cristina: Yeah. So I guess they would be the right person to send through the time machine. Cuz like they're never coming back. And that's fine because they're already kind of a ghost.
Jack: Yeah, that makes sense. That checks out.
Cristina: Yeah, because they're already pretending to be someone else that they're not in their real life. Well, they're a spy. That's. Their real life is being a spy. And then their fake life is the character that they're acting as while they're living as your neighbor or whatever.
Jack: Fair. But I'm assuming they have off time, too. Or you're assuming that the spy is who they really are. And, like, deep down, they don't even have an identity.
Cristina: No, I think it's part of the job is to give up that identity.
Jack: And be good enough to truly believe it. Or you like. Well, yeah, I remember my name was this, and that's really who I am, but I don't go by that. And so then there's awareness. You are a person.
Cristina: Yes, but your job is so important. You understand how important your job is, and that's why you are doing this job.
Jack: No, no, no. You're missing what I'm saying. You're not pretending to be anybody's neighbor. You're really their neighbor. You just happen to be their neighbor who goes by a different name and this and that. Yeah, but, like, who you are to them is a real person.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And you interact. Being the real you. You're not acting for no reason.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: You're just you. But under this name and whatever.
Cristina: Yes, but your job is the most important thing to you.
Jack: Yes.
Cristina: So you would still be. You would be an excellent person to go through that time machine.
Jack: Yes, 100%.
Cristina: Because you'll just wait for that order that you need in that past. I guess.
Jack: Not in the past. They'd give it to you in the present.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: And then you go, and you're like, hey, we're never going to see you again. You're going backwards. Or we're going to see you, but we're never going. We're not going to remember you.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And you can never come back because nobody could be a witness to what would be the alternative. That's why I say you can't go forward if you go back. If you go back, you should never be allowed to go forward in time, because then there was a witness to a different timeline.
Cristina: Yeah, but they wouldn't. I mean, they would understand that.
Jack: Yeah, they would understand that, but what would that even mean? Right? Yes, he went back. Is the point of him not coming forward again? No. I don't even get it. Because he would go back in time. He could change anything. He could change everything.
Cristina: Yes, but then that's not even the same timeline, so why would you even send someone back?
Jack: That's the question. Right. That's the real question. Although it is it or is it not, I guess, is the question.
Cristina: I guess you would have to test it out.
Jack: You could never. Because you can never. You can never. There's a couple of ways this could happen. So as we're moving forward in time, we can assume that every single point you choose goes. If you were to draw a line with a pencil. Right. You draw a point, and then you pull the pencil out in any direction from that point, and then you go back to the same point and you draw another line out in any direction.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: So you go up one of those lines. That's a single timeline.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And then if you stop at the very tip of that line, you point. You draw lines out of that same new point in every direction. You'll have this sort of collapsing thing, right? Where you have one line equals many lines, equals many lines equals many lines. Each one line you follow. You can go in any one direction. Up. Now, if you were to go backwards to the first line you drew.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: The probability that you'd go up the same line and take all the same paths to the same spot are infinite. So it's impossible you'd never go back up through the same timeline.
Cristina: No.
Jack: So the question is, did you create a different, alternative branching timeline? Is there a way for you to go back to the original? Or is it like I've just explained and you can't because it's an entirely, literally different path? Did you change the current timeline? Is it the same timeline but different, or is it a literal different timeline and there should be a way to bridge the gap to the original. If the choices you made.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Changed the same timeline, you'll never see the original timeline. There's too many nuanced things you'll never figure out. Yes, but if it's a literal different line, if there's a parallel universe where you did make, then you should be able to traverse it somehow. We don't understand, but we could figure it out. But it should be physically traversable and you get back to your original timeline. That should be possible.
Cristina: That seems really complicated.
Jack: It would be astoundingly complicated if it's the same timeline. Impossible.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: So that he change one or make one person.
Cristina: I don't know how they'd figure it out. Unless we have the spies also have these scientists who are figuring that out.
Jack: Before sending you to the past. A time machine.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: That's good enough. They figured out.
Cristina: But they need to figure out how to send you back and then make you go Back to the right timeline as well.
Jack: Yeah. I'm assuming they're not just gonna blindly. How would they would have tested the time machine? I don't know. I don't.
Cristina: How would they test out the time machine? I feel like if they test it.
Jack: Out, how did they make a time machine?
Cristina: Aliens.
Jack: That is the real problem here. This already kind of goes off into madness because they have a freaking time machine. So we're assuming they get the point of a time machine, I guess.
Cristina: But it still feels really hard. I mean, I guess making the time machine.
Jack: Making the time machine is probably harder than figuring out how to return you to the same timeline.
Cristina: And also, is that even important? Why is that important to get to the right timeline?
Jack: Because that's where you come from. You don't want to get the order, go back a certain amount of time, get back, and they don't even. What was the point of giving me the order?
Cristina: Not supposed to return. You stay there.
Jack: That's the only way this could work.
Cristina: Yes. It's the most high thing ever. You just live there.
Jack: Yeah. But then you're. Yeah. Now you're just committed to being this person.
Cristina: I don't think they're like James Bond who I guess goes home. I don't know what he does. But other spies just live where they're at and do their thing, don't they? They don't go back home, do they?
Jack: Yeah, I'm sure many spies just got to go home. You live a double life. You live a normal life, and then you're like, hey, man, this is the assignment. Sometimes a lot of the time it's paperwork. Sometimes it's field work.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And me? F*** it. Maybe you're just a field agent, but when the mission is done, you just go home. Until there's another mission. I guess you don't just hang out in the building. Wa.
Cristina: I wonder if they do have multiple missions. What if they just have one mission and that's it? Because it's too risky to spend send the same person out doing spy stuff, actually. So it would just be one mission.
Jack: No, no, no, no, no. You're assuming somehow that these. That there's like, you know, criminal Internet, and on this criminal Internet, this guy's a spy. I'm going to put his face on here. Now all criminals can just tune into this website we know to look for spies at and know what this guy looks like just in case he tries to infiltrate us. That's not happening.
Cristina: Was the guy in Burn Notice, the spy?
Jack: Yes, he was.
Cristina: Okay, then. That happened.
Jack: And he got to go spy everywhere he wanted to, but he got burned to spies, not the criminals.
Cristina: Oh, but still, everyone knew. Well, the.
Jack: No, only the. All the spies. Yeah, only the spies his agency knew.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: That was told to the agents of his agency. And now he doesn't know the agents of his agency. That's part of the point.
Cristina: But they know him.
Jack: Well, now they do. Because he got fired.
Cristina: Yes. What did it even mean, though? Because it wasn't just that he was fired.
Jack: He was fired and he could never work. They gave him a s***** identity and sent him to the middle of nowhere so he can't get jobs. That's why he started working, applying his skills to help random people because he's not allowed to be a spy.
Cristina: But why are people still trying to kill him? Isn't that a thing? That's not a thing.
Jack: Well, he's doing jobs with criminals. He's trying to get unblacklisted. They're not spies. Aren't trying to kill him.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: He's trying to get unblacklisted. Essentially. Unburned.
Cristina: Unburned. Okay. Because there was a spy that betrayed him then. Or something. I don't know.
Jack: He did something and then he got himself and some other guy screwed.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Later he comes and meets that other guy.
Cristina: Yes. And that other guy was trying to go home.
Jack: That other guy had a grudge. That was very specific to him also getting fired.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: Because he got fired because of this guy.
Cristina: Yes. All right, that makes sense.
Jack: And then they became homies. He got Goku'd.
Cristina: He got Goku'd. Oh, okay, now I remember. So that's gotta be the closest thing to spy life, right?
Jack: Yeah. Well, both of them are now just ragtagging with an ex Navy.
Cristina: No, no, no, no. The part where he gets abandone to be a nobody. A new nobody, and he has to live that way.
Jack: Yeah, yeah. That's not. That's no longer him working. Yeah, that's him Will kill you if you don't do this because you know too much.
Cristina: But even while he was working, he was pretty much doing that of pretending to be somebody while doing spy stuff.
Jack: No, no, no, no. You're missing. Yeah. While doing spy stuff. Yeah, but then he gets to go home. He wasn't exclusively living that.
Cristina: Are you positive?
Jack: Yes, because he had money. One of the things about him getting burned is all his money was tied to. And CIA seized all his money so he can't use it. I feel like he's stranding him in Miami.
Cristina: His spy life was his real life. He's like, he was also dating a person who he met through the spy life. And so like everything was.
Jack: But they knew each other outside of the spy stuff. She knows his real name. They really dated and they did things outside of crime related things.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: That had nothing to do with work for either of them.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And they also had things that did have to do at work. But he's also dated people who had nothing to do with work and maybe didn't even know he was a spy.
Cristina: But he was his original self while he was talking to those people.
Jack: Yeah, could have been.
Cristina: Mmm.
Jack: Because hey, I'm not at work. My work is over there where nobody knows what I look like.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: So I go to China and pretend to be an American tourist or something and then infiltrate. Or American business guy and infiltrate their business or whatever.
Cristina: Alright. I guess.
Jack: Or I go across the country. I'm from J. And then I go to Cali where nobody knows what I look like.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: Go to the middle of the country, some desert.
Cristina: You're always going somewhere to pretend to be someone else.
Jack: Yes. Somewhere you've never been.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: It's possible somebody might recognize you if some. Occasionally somebody. But it'll never be like another. Unless that criminals, you know, looking for employment elsewhere.
Cristina: Mmm.
Jack: I traveled from Jersey to Cali to learn how to be a better arms dealer. Greener pastures.
Cristina: You accidentally run into him.
Jack: Yeah, that'd be crazy. You know, but like, okay, I guess crime is a job. Maybe I need you to, you know, we're gonna move offices. We're going over there for your fire.
Cristina: Happens.
Jack: Yeah, it could totally happen. So. Yeah.
Cristina: Maybe it's not alien technology.
Jack: Well, I don't think it's. Yeah, definitely it's not alien technology. But also spy doesn't necessarily just live a spy life.
Cristina: All right.
Jack: I'm pretty sure they just have a life.
Cristina: I don't know. They never show that in the movies.
Jack: Because that wouldn't be the interesting part they actually do for Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
Cristina: I don't remember that movie.
Jack: Well, two spies. The best two spies are so good. They don't know each other as a spy.
Cristina: Ah. Okay. Yes. But are they acting as someone else while they were dating or were they.
Jack: They were themselves while dating and they were a different person while they were not dating. While they were not dating.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: They have one identity that they sustain always. And they just live life and like you could trace their childhood and. Yeah, this is really my mom. Come and meet my real mom.
Cristina: Is that how Spy Kids happen. Like how did those two. And like how they had real lives dating each other. Did they accidentally.
Jack: They probably fell in love at work.
Cristina: Yeah. It has to be. That can't be the chance. Mr. Mrs. Smith is super.
Jack: Yeah. That's a specifically like weird premise.
Cristina: Yes. But normally it's probably you guys met at work and you like each other.
Jack: Yeah. That has to be the majority of it, right?
Cristina: Yes. That makes sense.
Jack: Yeah. It's totally fine. Like you working for the same company doesn't literally mean both being spies. Maybe he was a paper pusher and she was the lady on the field. And she was. He was her contact. She's. He's who she calls.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: When she needs information or backup or anything.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: And so they got really familiar with each other. Cuz they.
Cristina: And then they started dating.
Jack: And then they start dating. Now he's also capable of. They. They should all be capable of feeling maybe at some point she was somebody else's contact. Depends on the mission. What you're doing.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Hey. This lady's really smart with the things on the field. But they've seen her there before. So we're sending you who doesn't know s***. But she. She's going to be your contact so you have all the information in Metal Gear.
Cristina: Are they spies? They're spies. Right?
Jack: Metal Gear is a weird. Weird. But they're spies, are they? They don't work for any organization that they didn't invent. Well, one of them. No. I don't even know. It's like weird organizations.
Cristina: They're doing spy stuff.
Jack: They're doing spy stuff. But they're a military. So they're military spies.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: But. But then everybody's a military spy.
Cristina: Huh? Then the military would have access to the time machine. No.
Jack: All the top guys are military. Most militaries are made by the spies. That's literally what the Diamond Dogs are.
Cristina: You just can't share the time machine with military.
Jack: Yeah. Because that's a problem.
Cristina: That sounds like a problem. I don't know.
Jack: Fair enough. Time machine for advantage purposes only when it comes to survival. Right. So if I learn how to make a time machine to solve the military getting a hold of a problem.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: I would need to figure out how to limit how far back in time. Right. And simply say my time machine only allows you to do something a day in advance.
Cristina: Whoa.
Jack: That's it. You could send something back one day and then it stops working. You have one use for this.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Useful Bombs coming Jump back a day. Hit the button early. We're safe. Bomb stops.
Cristina: Well, that's the message, I guess.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: Secret message.
Jack: That's great.
Cristina: Send it back in time.
Jack: And now you can't just go and change the universe by. Hey, I was curious. Jump back a hundred years back and saved Hitler. Now we got a problem.
Cristina: Okay, so just one day back.
Jack: One day back or some limit. Yes, if you can figure out any type of limit. Because you've already figured out how to literally come back to the same timeline. You've. You figured out kind of amazing things that you've made a f****** time machine. And you learned how to return us to the same exact point.
Cristina: And it looks like a car.
Jack: It could, I guess, but he kept changing s***. He had to go back in time again to kind of like fix things so that it would turn out the same way. So he's not really returning to the same timeline. He's really just trying to alter all the little details. What are you talking about in Back to the Future?
Cristina: Oh, no, I was thinking about what's his name. Oh my gosh, the one that I mentioned before. Mike Myers.
Jack: His look like a car.
Cristina: Yeah, he traveled back in time in the car.
Jack: Why is this movie so fresh in your mind?
Cristina: I don't know. I don't know and I can't think of the name. It's so crazy.
Jack: Austin Powers.
Cristina: Austin Powers. Freaking Austin Powers has a time machine.
Jack: That's the one for gold member.
Cristina: Yes. And then I think he stays there because that's his time, I think. I don't know what he would do with a car. I guess he would have to destroy it. Unless they let him keep it. I don't know.
Jack: In the first Powers, he was just like in current Day.
Cristina: Yeah. And then they froze him.
Jack: But he came back from a time when he was very groovy.
Cristina: Yes. And then he went back in the second movie or third. Isn't there more than one? I have no idea.
Jack: There's many.
Cristina: Well, whatever. He goes back in time. Oh, he might in the end go back to the present or the. I don't know. Like, where do you travel to? To the present. Like if he already in your present, why would you go back to the future? But I think he does.
Jack: Okay, so he's frozen 40 years, wakes up current day. It's 2020. Right. He's from the 70s, frozen 50 years. He was already 40. Now he's 90 years old. Right. In the 40 over 10 years here. Now he's a hundred years old, goes back in time.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: And in that time decides. I'm gonna stay here and lives to be 90.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: He has been around for about 140 to 150 years since he was born.
Cristina: That's really interesting. So they kept him. I don't know. What's the advantage of that? I don't know. I guess freezing people isn't that bad. Because if they.
Jack: They're the same age, I mean, look, if. But then again, why do they have the technology hidden? If we figured out a time machine. Yes, man, we have the cure for cancer, but also like money. But if we have the cure for cancer, who the s*** gives cares about money? Dude, we're mortal. Money ceases to matter. Money is mainly a desperation kind of thing. Yeah, but if we can stop ourselves from dying, that would be cool. Money ceases to exist. Yeah, we don't need survival, anything. I'll just wait long enough and I'll make that money.
Cristina: Mm. So we should have.
Jack: We should have the cure for everything? Yes, Cancer, aids.
Cristina: So then, you know we don't have a time machine.
Jack: Yeah, yeah. Until the AIDS is cured, we don't have a time machine.
Cristina: Okay, but the day the AIDS are cured.
Jack: Well, no, because the problem is it doesn't mean we have a time machine. A time machine, like, we're definitely like a hundred percent certainly gonna figure out AIDS way before hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years before we figure out time travel. That's a fact. Any amount of time, no matter what. Again.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Living forever, though way sooner than time travel.
Cristina: Living forever.
Jack: Living forever. Way sooner than time travel. We're sooner gonna figure out the biological conundrum of death. Then we are gonna generate infinite energy to travel back in time.
Cristina: That is a think we'll figure out. Freezing people.
Jack: H*** yeah. H*** yes. Forward travel is gonna be easy. A time machine. Forward, we're gonna have that. That could happen in 100 years. Just create enough energy to accelerate a person's position relative to anything else. The end. You move forward through time. Easy. You don't need infinite energy for that. You need infinite energy to do it at the speed of light.
Cristina: How many you said?
Jack: Yeah, infinite. Many energy to travel at the speed of light, forward through time. But you don't need that. You can just make it so, boom, now it's tomorrow. I can send you a month into the future.
Cristina: A month?
Jack: Simple. That's nothing. Go back one minute. Too much energy required.
Cristina: Too much energy.
Jack: Too much energy required.
Cristina: Okay, so that's probably never gonna be a thing.
Jack: Probably never.
Cristina: Energy, power. Never goes back in time. Then he's just stuck in the Present.
Jack: Yeah. Maybe delusional.
Cristina: Maybe delusional.
Jack: But isn't that crazy? You can travel forward in time. You can't travel back in time. There is an infinite amount of energy required to travel backwards. Then everything you do makes it so you never traveled backwards. So not only is the requirement scientifically impossible, but also just rationally, it breaks how reality works.
Cristina: Why?
Jack: Because you'd never be able to. Anything that you change willingly is altered so that you didn't go back in time to change it in the first place. You cancel yourself out. So you have to affect something that's irrelevant to you.
Cristina: Oh, yeah, that's true. Well, then maybe it's like that movie where they die and they just end up at that place. They travel sort of back in time and then change everything. I don't know the movie's name. Ah. Oh, my gosh. The movie where everyone's killing themselves because they finally found out what happens when you die.
Jack: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Secret.
Cristina: It's called the Secret.
Jack: No, it's not the Secret or the announcement or. I think it's called the Secret or the Truth. Something like that. With Jason Seagal.
Cristina: Yeah, that movie. That's. Is that more realistic of time travel than a machine?
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: H***, yeah.
Jack: By my.
Cristina: It just happened naturally.
Jack: Yeah. Yeah. Because we assume. We assume that what we want perceive to be reality is the way reality works. And that's wrong, because time, although we as a creature perceive it in a linear forward fashion, nothing tells us in physics that that's how it works.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Yes. It's in a linear fashion of some sort, but it's not one directional. It could be sliding back and forward at random moments in random directions and. Yeah, actually, random directions. Reality could be morphing consistently. We would morph accordingly with it.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: So everything I believe is the past, I'll believe is the past, even if it just got generated 10 seconds ago. Because I'm morphing with all of everything.
Cristina: Yeah. So you can lose the things. I mean, you and I can split up and not even know that we're in different realities.
Jack: Yeah. Because we would just be like. Yeah, I've always been here by myself.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Yeah. And it wouldn't. Like we. It would be so seamless. We wouldn't question each other being here.
Cristina: Yeah. That's weird. Yeah.
Jack: So those kind of problems are present with time travel, you know? Yes, it's weird.
Cristina: Time gets complicated.
Jack: Time gets complicated.
Cristina: Time is complicated.
Jack: Yes. Time is so f****** complicated.
Cristina: We're just seeing the simple.
Jack: Yes. And we assume our perception Isn't reality. And it's not. It doesn't necessarily have to be nothing inside the world.
Cristina: It's simple enough to not drive us insane.
Jack: Yeah, pretty much.
Cristina: Because we couldn't get it. We couldn't get it. We were seeing all of it.
Jack: Even the things we try to comprehend that we kind of don't. Too much. It's absolutely too much.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: So one, reality doesn't make any sense. And two, it would be. There's too many barriers to backwards time travel.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Too many.
Cristina: Too many.
Jack: If it does exist, we've solved too many problems. And unless somehow spies can still profit. And why do you need money if you're so overpowered anyways?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Having a time machine means no diseases by default. It means multi planetary. Like the men in black are real. Do the spies know about aliens? Yeah, because holy s***. Time travel, traveling. Do you generate enough an energy you could travel from star to star in no time.
Cristina: Okay, so no.
Jack: Any rocket. Well, the question is, are there people traveling this from star to star super quickly? Do we think Earth is where it is? Because they want us to think that. And there's way more going on and there's people living on other planets and they're just like, you can't know about it. We're just experimenting to see what these. Maybe the Galactic Zoo theory or. Not the Galactic Zoo theory. That's actually one of our episodes. But the zoo hypothesis about us being watched and like, kept and seen to see how we grow and evolve and change is done by humans. Very advanced humans who decided, okay, we are.
Cristina: Okay, so they're alien to us.
Jack: They're alien to us.
Cristina: So you won't say aliens gave us.
Jack: Time travel, but it's just humans who have so successfully suppressed our understanding of the tech.
Cristina: Yes, humans that are alien to us.
Jack: They're not aliens, literally, that they're not on Earth. They've always been here and they've always been among us. And they're always. But they're part of a group of people who have, throughout the years, continued to change technology and forward it at a rate 30 times faster than the regular population.
Cristina: Mm. And they're doing crazy things and you're.
Jack: Doing crazy things and they just don't let us know about it.
Cristina: Mmm. That's too.
Jack: Man, that's very spy.
Cristina: That's very spy. That is very spy. Oh, they have to be spies.
Jack: Yeah. If this happens, we also gotta assume that spies are the best of any society. Right. Maybe seals are spies. That's the military spy.
Cristina: And they're Thought of as pretty high up there.
Jack: Pretty high up there. Navy SEAL could probably compete with the CIA agent one to one. Chances are the Navy SEALs may be more lethal.
Cristina: I guess.
Jack: Yeah.
Cristina: But no time machine.
Jack: The difference between a Navy SEAL and a spy is a Navy SEAL is probably there to, like, off someone. While a spy might just be there to collect information.
Cristina: Yes. Or maybe off someone. I mean, maybe.
Jack: I guess maybe a Navy SEAL might also be there for information. For information. But ultimately the information is gonna lead to somebody being offed.
Cristina: Yes. Well, the spy. No. Yeah, it's just an option. They have many options.
Jack: Well, it depends on this specific mission.
Cristina: No, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, there's a possibility that he could be there.
Jack: I get what you mean. I thought you were giving, like, him the choice.
Cristina: No, no. Yeah.
Jack: Okay. So there's different mission types.
Cristina: Yes. Way more variety than the military guy. Like, it could be as varied, but it all ends with death for the military guy.
Jack: Or Most of the time. Most of the time.
Cristina: While the spy, it's. Yeah, it could be random.
Jack: Might just be. There's, you know, they made the best Pop Tart machine in the world and President wants it. So I'm here infiltrating Pop Tart headquarters.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: Who knows why they need a spy for that rather than just hire somebody to go work there. But whatever.
Cristina: That would be a spy.
Jack: That would be by default. Even if it's just a normal off the street person. Now you're a spy because you're just here to learn. Yeah, I guess that's the difference. That's why a Navy SEAL is more elite, because you got to go through s*** to get there. You can't just be a Navy seal. They can't just be, hey, you're one of us now. No, but that could probably happen. You're spy by the fault. Maybe you can't enter. Like, maybe for the CIA there's requirements, just like a Navy seal. But being a spy doesn't require you in the CIA or in the Navy seal. I could pay a child to be a spy. To go into his class and just copy his teacher's phone number.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: And then bring it to me so I could call her. Yeah, that kid was a spy.
Cristina: But yeah, anyone could be a spy.
Jack: Yeah, anybody could be a spy. Not everybody could be an avc.
Cristina: No.
Jack: Or a spy for the CIA.
Cristina: No.
Jack: AKA an agent.
Cristina: Yeah. But anyone could, I guess, shoot people like the Navy seal.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Then again. Oh, my God, that freaking. Whatever the Canadians equivalent of a Navy seal. That's not. A lot of people are doing that.
Cristina: No.
Jack: That's so absurdly complicated. That was ever done. Shooting from one boat and to another boat. One tiny boat to a giant boat. So it's a completely different boat sizes. Moving completely differently over kind of turbulent waters at a distance of about a mile and getting a clean headshot on your first shot.
Cristina: That's impossible. He had a lucky day.
Jack: Dude. What? I couldn't think of anything more precise ever. That water is just water. Even if it was calm. That's hard. How are you doing this on shaky water?
Cristina: A lot of video games had to.
Jack: He had to play Call of Duty every day.
Cristina: That's the way you train.
Jack: That's too amazing.
Cristina: That is so spy. Military dudes, yo.
Jack: For real. But this wasn't a spy. He wasn't like blending into them or anything. This was just a soldier.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: A sniper. Just a sniper. But like. God, you snipered the f*** out of that guy. You. You sniper like no other sniper snipers. Or is that just a quality? Did they send their best? They're like, bro, we got random boat with people who are kind of disposable but you know, send the best soldier we got. Or more likely their s*** is just up to that f****** bar. Are you What? You're telling me all your guys could do this? Which is the more. It wasn't that big of a. It was not important of a situation. It's just a bunch of pirate idiots and like. Oh, it's a captain. Is he an important captain? Not really. He's just a guy.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: So like, you're gonna send your great. Whatever else he could be doing. No. We're gonna pull you out of that. We're gonna pull you out of stopping the greatest terrorist ever known to man. And we're gonna put you to stop this pirate moron with a rocket launcher.
Cristina: The rocket launcher. That's pretty dangerous. That's dangerous. You know, what if he gets to wherever they're going. I don't know if they're going somewhere. Then he brings a rocket launcher.
Jack: We were just in the middle of the water stealing a boat or holding a guy. Like old school pirating. That's crazy. Dude. This is boarded somebody's ship. I don't know what they wanted. It just typical robbery bullshit.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: As opposed that. Why would that merit their best sniper? It wouldn't.
Cristina: Yeah. Maybe he was the only one available.
Jack: Their best sniper.
Cristina: Yes. Like what if it was.
Jack: Hey, man, you want to totally. It could totally be possible. Look I'm not saying it's not, but, like, what's more likely here? That that situation happened? Is it more likely that that happened? That he was just available that day? And also, yeah, totally way the f*** below my pay grade, but I' pro b**** for you b******.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: Like, what? Is that the most likely option? Or. Or is the more likely option, hey, just put a sniper over there. Who? Yeah, whoever. But whoever. It's just a freaking boat with some pirates. Say we did some stuff. And then this super absurdly crack shot that looks that amazing to us is just proving how whack our military is as a whole, because that's just a casual sniper to them. Yeah, this Bob. What does Bob do? Bob's done f****** nothing. It's garbage. He's like the. The third from the bottom, this Bob here. Out of the snipers.
Cristina: No. Maybe trains on the water. Maybe they all do over there.
Jack: Or not. Maybe they all do, but fair enough. Maybe this guy's specialty. Maybe there's a unit. So maybe it was an average thing, but every mill, every country has water. Military.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: We got the Navy. This water. Military.
Cristina: Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Jack: This makes total sense.
Cristina: They gotta learn how to shoot on the water.
Jack: They don't shoot on water. Maybe they're did. This is just from their watermelon. It's on the waters. It's in the water, guys. There's the best of watering.
Cristina: Yes. And so they have to learn to shoot.
Jack: Yeah. And, like, why wouldn't there be snipers?
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: It's safer than shooting a cannon and murdering a bunch of people. Or tearing a hole through a boat.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Maybe just put a sniper from one boat, catch them on the other boat. Like, they already trained doing this.
Cristina: Yeah, they have to. They have to.
Jack: Have to. So he's just like, yeah, another Tuesday.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: But they were all like, yeah, bro, what a boring job. You just shot the guy with an idiot. The end to us. Whoa. But, like, any Navy SEAL could have done this.
Cristina: Yes. What if that's why we made it a movie? Because we were still very impressed. Even if they're, like, made that into a movie.
Jack: You saw the movie with the sniper on the water?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: What was the name of it?
Cristina: I remember, but Tom Hanks was on the boat. Who's being rescued?
Jack: Well, I don't remember.
Cristina: You don't? This was a movie, but based on a real life situation.
Jack: Oh, s***. That was. I remember seeing the movie. I don't remember the movie.
Cristina: Okay.
Jack: I remember seeing the movie. I'm aware that I watched it.
Cristina: Yes. Okay. Yeah. So Tom Hanks was the guy being rescued off the boat.
Jack: He was a spy.
Cristina: No, he was just the boat guy.
Jack: And the sniper saved him. It's literally. We're watching, man. Why didn't they make it about the sniper?
Cristina: Because they hired Tom Hanks to make.
Jack: Him the sniper then.
Cristina: Because he's not believable. He only plays believable roles.
Jack: He's the opposite of Johnny Depp.
Cristina: Yes, yes.
Jack: He plays.
Cristina: Only does what is really. Like, I can see him do this.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cristina: I've never. I don't know. Does Tom Hanks have anything that's like, oh, wow. I couldn't imagine this guy doing this. I don't know.
Jack: What's weird is that happens for Johnny Depp in both directions where it's like, unbelievable, but it's like, yeah, it's him.
Cristina: Yeah, it's him.
Jack: But also it's not. Which is the most impressive part about him. He literally disappears into the role. There's no more Johnny Depp when he's acting. He visually and personality wise, ceases to exist.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: There's no trace of him in any character. That's crazy. Usually there's a little something. That's also what makes Heath Ledger's Joker so impressive. There's no trace of Heath Ledger there. His other performances are astounding, but you can see him in a lot of it.
Jack: As opposed to the Joker. Not a trace of him. He disappeared. His facial expressions, his body movements, his speech patterns, how he thinks, how he behaves. Everything changed there. The way Johnny Depp does for every role.
Cristina: I feel like Brokeback Melon. He was very different from how he normally is, too.
Jack: Yes. He was very different there. He had a lot of the same facial expressions, though.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: You gotta change in such a way that we're like, do we do. If you saw the movie without being told who's in it, you wouldn't notice it's them.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: That's the Joker.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: That's every Johnny Depp character.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: You would never know that's him because even his facial expressions change.
Cristina: Mm.
Jack: That's totally morphing into this other person.
Cristina: Mmm. Okay. We can't say that about Tom Hanks.
Jack: No. Because Tom Hanks is just Tom Hanks. Yeah. And usually the roles are very similar. Yeah, they're great. But he gets. He chooses a very safe road.
Cristina: Mm. You know, but they're all so good.
Jack: Yes. He's really skilled. Which puts to the question, why does he choose really safe roles when he can kind of outperform anyone in any role. Or maybe that's not the case. And maybe he knows his limit. And by staying away from the limit.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: He can do the best in the box he has. And so he shines really bright because he's so good at what he knows he's good at, as opposed to just doing random s*** that he wouldn't be able to do.
Cristina: I would love to see him try something different, though. I want him to be the next pirate. I want him to replace Johnny Depp because the.
Jack: The llamas aren't paying it.
Cristina: Yeah. So let Tom Hanks have the llamas.
Jack: Yeah, that's fair.
Cristina: He can do. What is that character?
Jack: Tech Sparrow.
Cristina: Yes, imagine.
Jack: So I guess that's the conclusion of this episode. Spies probably don't have a time machine because AIDS is still a thing that checks out. And also, Tom Hanks should have a hundred thousand llamas.
Cristina: I thought we made it to a million.
Jack: A million? Well, no, that was for Johnny Depp.
Cristina: Oh, okay.
Jack: We're just gonna give Tom Hanks the original offer.
Cristina: One hundred thousand.
Jack: A hundred thousand llamas.
Cristina: Okay. I'm sure he will be fine with that. Still an impressive amount of llamas.
Jack: Yeah. Yeah, it is, but it's. I don't even. I couldn't visualize that many llamas.
Cristina: Exactly. Like who? Like, you just look at it and you're like, okay, that's a lot of llamas. You're not saying, oh, wow, that's a hundred thousand llamas, or what? Where? You're just saying, that's a lot of llamas.
Jack: Yeah, exactly. There wouldn't be. You wouldn't quantify it. You'd just be like, wow, there's a lot. You wouldn't. If the number is big enough, you wouldn't think about counting. Like, that ceases to make sense, you know?
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: If you saw, like, 10, you've been. How many years there are here.
Cristina: Yes.
Jack: If you. Even when you're talking about, like, how many people are in this stadium, like, if you don't already know off the top of your head, you're not gonna count. You're not really putting realistic numbers, just tossing random s*** out. Yeah. Because you're not really thinking about how many people there are.
Cristina: Yeah. It's just a guesstimate.
Jack: It's a guesstimate that's not even accurate, probably.
Cristina: Yeah.
Jack: Who cares? It's just numbers.
Cristina: Yeah. It's just random, but. Yeah.
Jack: So those are the conclusions. Spies don't have Time machines, because it's still a thing. Tom Hanks Next. Jack Sparrow. You guys, if you want more episodes, I wish I could do, like, a solid Christopher Walken. No, I just sound like a robot at that point. Yeah, guys.
Cristina: Yeah, guys, continue. Do the sentence. At least one sentence.
Jack: No, I don't even know how to. I gotta hear him.
Cristina: You can do it.
Jack: You guys gotta find the official website, greatthoughts.info Apple Podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcast. And in those locations, you'll find us.
Cristina: And you can reach us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok @justcombopod.
Jack: Yes. And remember to subscribe. That's the most important part always, of the process. You subscribe, you'll hear more conversations. Usually aimless. We're rambling here, literally. And rate us. Rate us. Give us the stars you believe we require and review the show. Tell us what you think about the.
Cristina: Program and our suggestions with Tom Hanks.
Jack: Yes, that's important. Tell us what you think about Tom Hanks.
Cristina: I let someone who might like this show know about it.
Jack: Yeah, it's. It's important. Word of mouth is overpowered with a lot of. Yeah, that'll blow up at the end.
Cristina: Yes. And this has been the Rambling podcast. Take nothing personal, and thanks for listening.
Jack: Bye.
Cristina: Oh, my gosh. Okay. Okay.
Jack: Boom.
Cristina: I think it also does other things, too. Like, I don't remember. I think, like, people can't sleep because of it. Like, it causes a bunch of problems, probably mentally, I don't know.
Jack: Just out here causing brain damage, I guess so.
Cristina: With the cancer.
Jack: Makes sense.
Cristina: They're very loud. Are they even loud? Can you. How loud are they?
Jack: No, you can't hear windmill.
Cristina: Oh.
Jack: I mean, unless they're rusty as s***, in which case they're super loud. They're so loud. Rusty windmills. So loud.
Cristina: So what is his solution? He didn't really give a solution. We just.
Jack: No, he's saying we don't need the windmills. We got to stop using windmills.
Cristina: And then Russia will stop attacking.
Jack: Yes, it makes perfect sense.
Cristina: Russia, he said, doesn't actually want to attack Ukraine.
Jack: Trying to stop the windmills. Yeah, Russia's trying to stop the windmills. There's so many windmills in Ukraine.
Cristina: You don't even know how many windmills are in Ukraine.
Jack: Most of them.
Cristina: Most.
Jack: Most windmills are in Ukraine. You don't even know, bro. That's why.
Cristina: That's why all this happens.
Jack: This whole thing only occurred. The only reason Russia ever attacked Ukraine was because the windmills are in Ukraine.
Cristina: That's crazy. Good morning. Good morning. The podcast is hosted by Christina Collazo and Jack Thomas, produced by Lynn Taylor and published by greatthoughts.info art by Zero Lupo and logo by Seth McCallister, with social media managed by Amber Black.