Breaking News

I’m here in front of Saint Micheals Medical Center where police are currently investigating what has been referred to by authorities as rabid cannibalism. Yes, you heard right.

Early this morning, at 4:15am, a patient suffering from an unknown terminal illness left their intensive care room and attacked nurse on duty, Samantha Rice. Reports say the patient, male, name not yet revealed, tackled the nurse to the ground and repeatedly bit at the nurse, tearing through flesh and meat and ripping off entire chunks only to chew them and swallow them as though having a meal.

The patient was shot and killed by on site officer on guard duty for an injured thief currently a patient at this hospital.

Nurse Samantha, initially believed dead by witnessing patients and staff, appeared to enter a psychotic state after being attacked and began attacking other staff members in a similar fashion just moments later. She was promptly shot and killed by the on duty officer who’s name has not yet been released.

The bizarre attacks were proceeded by several patients and staff fleeing the hospital after the gunshots were heard through the hallways of the facility. Officers Maroon says, “With today’s climate of casual mass shootings in the most random of locations, you can’t blame them for trying to stay alive.”

F.B.I. officials and C.D.C. are on site conducting respective investigations. No statements have been made by either party, yet. We’ll be keeping you up to date as new information arises.