The video of life is set to replay. Unavoidable.
She dies. And it’s been tried thousands of times, saving her. It’s impossible.
Same time, same place. She walks to the stairs, trips and falls.
If the events are changed she dies differently. Once I sleep the day resets as if I traveled back in time.
Suicide just wakes me up as if I’d simply gone to sleep.
I’ve begged the skies for a way to save her or kill myself. The celestials have abandoned space and time. The Count was lost for how many times the day was relived. It could be in years by now and I’d never know.
It’s irrational that memory is retained if the entire space-time of a day goes in reverse. Memory should be lost in the reverse order that it was learned, but I remember it all. I should be unaware of this loop. Perhaps this is punishment for the way I’ve lived my life.
It has beaten me. Countless times I’ve given in and simply witnessed her die. It’s not malicious. It’s destiny. It can’t be helped. I’m trapped.
She’s still quite missed. Being able to spend time with her.
In this one day, before she dies, we’ve done all the things we could possibly do. And she’ll never remember a single one of them.
Talking to her used to be the highlight of my day.
If she was aware with me, I’d never leave this loop. Relive forever with her. But it’s not the case. The events of the future are the way they are because they’ve occurred in the past. It can’t be altered.
Deal the hand dealt and move on. Repeat this day, trying new things until eventually something works. Maybe there is no way out of the loop and forever will be experiencing the same day.
But if I can save her. If I can escape this loop with her, I’ll figure it out. Forever is a long time, and it seems to be taking place in this one moment. There’s nothing but retries in a loop.