Heaven and Hell

We tell ourselves we want what we are supposed to want. But sometimes we cant even convince ourselves that it's true.

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I’ve been to the mountain and I’ve seen the view

Which dazzles, seduces and awes.

And I’ve lived in the valley, experienced the stillness

Which lulls, beckons and draws.

But I’ve never achieved the middle ground.

Though, I’m told it’s really the best.

My life seems to be just peaks and valleys,

Euphoria followed by tests.

I’ve searched for life’s meaning on many a path,

Learned from wise men as well as fools.

I’ve examined their guidelines, considered their dogma

And eventually rejected their rules.

But I’ve never been able, in all of these years,

To find a path I could truly call mine.

So I’m forever unable to sate my desire

To make sense of my life and my time.

I’ve been desired, pursued and admired.

Held hostage, controlled and ignored.

And I’ve experienced it all, without exception,

As a soul prematurely bored. 

 I’ve never come close to the love I am seeking

Unconditional, freely given, sublime.

Perhaps  it's been there, unseen or unnoticed

Obscured by a closed paradigm.

All my life I’ve yearned to be a part of 

God's rhythm, His flow, and His rhyme.

And I’ve actually achieved a few sacred moments

Of true serenity and peace of mind.

But for every serene and peaceful thought in my mind

 A thought of doubt and mistrust runs parallel

So, while I fervently yearn for Heaven,

Paradoxically, I seek only Hell.

By Linda Troxell

From: United States

Instagram: humblyseekingthelord