Endless Darkness

Recently I struggled through a bad time and depression took hold. For 3 months I have struggled every day to fight my way out. Finally I did, this story is a result of that.

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Eloise slapped her hand on her phone, hoping she hit snooze, the alarm stopped. She was warm and comfortable, more to the point she did not want to face another day. The thought exhausted her, she suddenly felt so tired. She must have drifted off again as her alarm was shrilling.

This time Eloise turned it off, sighed, slowly sat up and got out of bed. 

After going to the bathroom she grabbed a jumper and threw it on, knocked on her daughters bedroom door, let’s go she said. Her daughter came out looking at her phone, Eloise sighed, her daughter was constantly on that phone.

After a 20 minute round trip Eloise was back home. She sat down at the outdoor table and light up a cigarette, then the tears started.

For nearly a month now she had been so down, crying so much, not being able to deal with anything, the day to day was too much.

Eloise knew she was depressed and badly so, she knew she needed to somehow dig herself out, she was thinking how as she crawled back into bed.

As she lay down heavy rain started to fall. Eloise sighed she needed the sun. That was her last thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Eloise woke with a shock, enough was enough, she hated feeling so down, so exhausted and numb, her brain was so foggy, her thinking was too slow, her words didn’t come out right, she couldn’t make decisions. This was not her!

Eloise grabbed her MacBook, she went online and searched last minute vacations in Surfers Paradise.

Yes it was school holidays next week but surely she could find something for her and Jem. She needed warmth, she needed a change, she needed to get out of the house.

Luck was on her side, a perfectly located apartment right in the centre of town, one block from the beach, three blocks from the river.

Before she knew it she had booked it, paid for it and was now booking the flights. Within 10 minutes the entire holiday was booked and paid for.

Looking at the time she jumped out of bed to pick up her daughter from school, early finish as school holidays start next week.

Jem got in the car, Eloise started driving, she looked at Jem briefly and told her they were going on holiday next week to Surfers Paradise, Jem thought she was joking until she showed her the booking.

Three days later they flew out of rainy Melbourne and landed on the sunny Gold Coast. It was night time, but still warm.

Eloise called an Uber and they went to their apartment. Somehow Eloise thought I actually did it. I actually made a decision, I organised something and here we are.

Eloise woke up to the sun on her face, she opened the balcony door, she stepped out into the warmth, into the glorious sunshine.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the sun, feeling it start to break the hold the depression had on her.

This she thought, as she stood in the sun listening to the waves come in, this is paradise.

By Ellysa Greenhalgh

From: Australia

Website: https://ellpoet.wordpress.com