Checklists are helpful due to their simplicity when managing tasks not when deciphering love. Love is too complex for checklists....
Sure, she meets a lot of the points on your “ideal wife checklist” but does she truly make your heart happy? She looks good on paper but in person she falls short of satisfying your needs. The need to be supported, unconditionally loved and motivated, to be met in the middle with effort and dedication, and most importantly of loyalty. Who then are you doing it for? To appease the people around you? To avoid judgement? What about how YOU feel? What about what YOU truly want? Suppression births depression. The doubt and regret will eat away at your soul until there is nothing left but emptiness. True fulfilment comes from being authentic to self. From not being ashamed to express one’s inner desires and set forth the motion to obtain them.
Know what you will and will not accept from others, but do not place people in boxes. You will only end up limiting your choices and suffocating them with your rigid expectations before they’re even given the opportunity to open up. You can’t pick apart a human being and only keep the good pieces. We must be acknowledged as whole packages made up of complex histories, mysteries, secrets, and wonders. We are comprised of both evil and good, sin and morality, dark and light, for one cannot exist without the other. Find the energy that moves you, calls to your spirit making it dance with delight. Seek out the entity that warms your insides making your aura pulsate happily when they are in proximity.
These are not things that can be pegged down or determined by societal standards. Only YOU know the frequencies in which you vibrate, if you’re really paying attention, if you’re really doing the work. Only YOU know what you need to feel love and joy, and contentment. Sure, you may feel somewhat satisfied if you settle for less than what you deserve. But eventually and inevitably, the weaker connection always drains the stronger one of its power to survive. Sometimes to knock the greater force down a few notches to meet them at their lower level and other times to steal their shine, use it to power up, and leave the emptied vessel behind. Tossed to the side with disdain and ingratitude. And without so much as a thank you. Thank yourself by loving yourself whole heartedly so that you never allow someone to do it half-assed.