She Speaks My Language

051/365

She’s seductive.
Eyes are always on mine.
Walks subtle circles around me.
Whispering little nothings here and there.
Her lips get close and tell me dirty little secrets.
Things she’d like me to do.
If I’m not paying attention she stands in the way and wiggles.
Like a horny little snake.
The things she lets me do.
You wouldn’t even believe.
But it’s always because she wants something back.
It’s always with the agenda of getting a return.
And I’m a bastard.
I don’t tolerate her.
Whether I hate her or love her is dependent entirely on my patience at the moment.
I want to blow her mind sometimes and execute her the others.
But I never leave.
I’m always here.
She’s always here.
And we always do this twisted little dance.
And we fight.
And we get over it.
And we fight.
And we get over it.
There’s no reason when either of us can’t quit on the other.
But we don’t.
Regardless of whether or not I ignore her for entire days at a time.
Whether I tell her my deepest truths or not.
Whether who I show up as is truly me or the lie I’ve made up.
She’s always there.
Always teaching me more.
Always making me better.
Always making me whole.
So I’m always here.
And I’m a bastard.
But I’m still here.
Who she saw as a child is not who she sees now.
Those are two different people.
My innocence was vast then.
My deception is masterful now.
But she knows I lie.
And she knows why.
And she gives me time to understand.
To find the right words to explain.
And I become better.
And I become whole.
She stares me in the eyes.
She bites my lip.
She wiggles and wiggles.
Just so that maybe I’ll pay attention.
When I do, I’m great.
And she wants to be shown off when I’m done with her.
And my pride won’t allow me to hide her.
She wants people to see what I do to her.
She’s on display for all.
But that’s when I do abandon her.
Because I don’t want the attention.
And I understand her.
Because she does.
And she needs it to feel whole.
Approval to feel complete.
She must dance for them.
And entertain them.
And please them the same way she did me.
That’s who she is.
That’s how she is.
That’s why she is.
And I have to live with that.
Because she’ll comeback.
And I’ll let her.
She’ll wiggle and dance for me.
And she’ll always be there whispering sexy little nothings.
Touching me everywhere it matters when it’s most right.
Because she understand me.
She speaks my language.