Secrets And Smackdowns

‘And then he says, I think it’s Colin!’ Dave said, delivering the punchline with all the enthusiasm of a Saturday night television host. 

His date, a woman in her early thirties, laughed. Things seemed to be going well. This was their first date, having messaged for a few days on the dating app. 

‘Same again?’ Dave asked, raising his empty pint glass. 

Jane nodded, giving him a warm smile. Dave was delighted with the way the date was going so far. He just had to make sure he didn’t mess things up.

As they sipped their fresh round of drinks, they discussed films. She laughed and shook her head at the silly comedy films Dave enjoyed.

‘They are just stupid.’ She said.

‘That’s the whole point. That’s what makes them funny.’ Dave insisted. 

They discussed music, and their favourite bands, and gigs they’d been to. 

‘My sister bought me a record player for my thirtieth birthday. One of the best birthday presents ever.’ Dave said. 

‘That’s so cool. I’ve got some old records in the loft. I haven’t played them for years.’ Jane said.

‘There’s nothing like the sound of vinyl. That hiss and crackle, just magic.’ He said.

‘You’ll have to come over with your record player.’ Jane said.

‘I’d like that.’ he said.

They talked about holidays, about how the Lake District was the most beautiful place on earth, and that Spanish lager tasted better in the Spanish sunshine. 

‘What else are you into?’ She asked. ‘And random hobbies? Pot-holing? Line Dancing?’

Dave laughed and chose his next words carefully.

‘Nothing like that, really.’ He said. ‘I do like watching wrestling, though.’

He noticed the smile on her face flicker. He recognised the signs. Just when things were going so well.

‘You watch wrestling? Really?’ She asked, her polite smile fixed firmly in place. 

‘Yeah, it’s really cool.’ He admitted.

‘It’s all fake, though, isn’t it?’

‘I mean, yeah, that’s true up to a point. It is pre-determined, but isn’t all TV fake these days? What they call Reality TV is so far removed from reality. Wrestling is like watching a soap opera really.’ Dave said.

‘So,’ she said, ‘what are you watching on TV, apart from the wrestling?’ 

The conversation moved on to a new TV drama about a serial killer in the 1970s.

Early the following afternoon, Dave sent Jane a text. He told her he’d had a really good evening, and asked if she fancied meeting up again. He hit send and waited. Just after five minutes later his phone pinged. One new message from Jane.

I would be up for meeting again as friends.

And there it was. As friends. The dreaded friend zone. Dave had an awful feeling that he had entered the friend zone the moment he’d mentioned he was into wrestling. Everyone knew what suggesting being friends meant in this situation. If someone you liked romantically suggested you just be friends it was a polite way of saying they are not interested. Did anyone actually stay friends in a situation like that? He couldn’t imagine being friends with someone who you started out seeing romantically. Wouldn’t it all just be so awkward?

To cheer himself up, Dave arranged to meet up with a friend in the pub for a few pints. Steve was one of his oldest friends. As they sipped their pints of beer, Dave explained how the date had gone.

‘It was going so well, she even laughed at the Colin joke.’ Dave said.

‘And then you told her you were into wrestling?’ Steve predicted.

‘Yep, and it all fell apart after that.’ 

‘People just don’t get it, mate. You should keep that to yourself, especially on a first date.’ Steve said. ‘Promise me, the next woman you take out, you won’t mention the wresting.’

Dave nodded. Maybe his friend was right, maybe he should wait until they knew him a bit more, before mentioning he liked watching wrestling. Maybe the wrestling thing wasn’t something he should open with. 

A few weeks later, Dave had been chatting to another woman through the dating app. And after a few days, he suggested they meet up. Angela agreed. Dave  gave a little fist-bump and phoned Steve to tell him of his upcoming romantic evening out.

‘Whatever you do, don’t mention the wrestling, okay?’ 

‘Agreed.’ Dave said.

And so, Dave went along to meet Angela. He had his jokes rehearsed and had decided which funny anecdotes to share, had a list of questions to ask his date. And he had a mental note, not to mention the wrestling.

The date went well, the drinks and the chat flowed. Angela was good company seemed to be interested in him, and even laughed at his jokes. At the end of the night, as they left the pub, stepping out into the cold, Dave asked if he could see her again. Angela nodded, enthusiastically, saying that would be lovely. 

In the taxi on the way home, Dave went over the events of the evening. Things had gone well. They had hit it off, and he was looking forward to seeing her again, and excited to see where their relationship would go from here.

Over the next few days they continued to message each other and arranged to go for a meal in a nice gastro-pub. Dave had recommended the pub, and Angela had seemed eager to try it. 

On the afternoon of the date, Dave was getting ready for the evening out. He tried not to get too excited, not to get too carried away. It was very early days, he had only met her once. But, then, all couples had so start somewhere, didn’t they? Even those who had been married fifty years, had to have had a first date back in the day.

Dave was crossing the landing from the bathroom, towel tied around his waist, when his phone sounded. One new message. He picked up the phone off his bed. The text was from Angela. Maybe she was asking for the pub’s postcode to sort her taxi. When he read the text message, he felt sick.

Can’t make it tonight. Something’s come up. Sorry xx

Dave sighed and flopped onto the bed. He hoped that something had actually come up rather than her deciding against meeting up with him again. He hoped her reason was genuine rather than having a change of heart. Gutted, he sighed aloud. He replied to Angela’s message, No worries, hope all okay. 

The next day, Angela text to say she would make it up to him. Dave was happy to hear from her. Perhaps her excuse had been true. Maybe something had come up last minute. Maybe her dog had been poorly, that’s if she had a dog. He hoped to find out things like that, if Angela had a dog, a cat, or was actually allergic to pet hair. He tried not to get too carried away, but he was looking forward to getting to know her better. He had a feeling that they could be really good together.

He was delighted when, later that day, Angela suggested they meet up the following Saturday night for drinks and a bite to eat.

On the Saturday afternoon, as he was ironing a shirt for the big date, and going over what he would say, the stories he would regale Angela with that evening, his phone pinged. One new message. From Angela. Dave sighed. Surely not. Not again.

Don’t hate me, but I can’t make tonight. So sorry! Xx

Dave swallowed back the lump in his throat. Why did this always happen to him? Just as he was getting his hopes up, thinking someone he’d met could be the one, everything fell through. Was it him? Was he doing something, or not doing something?

Okay xx. Dave replied. He couldn’t bring himself to reply that it was fine or no problem. He decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing if she knew how upset he was at the date being cancelled.

Maybe it was all over, maybe he and Angela were done before they ever really got started. Dave couldn’t go through this again anytime soon. He would leave it for a few weeks, a few months, before going on another date.

An hour later, as he was having a cup of tea, and watching last week’s wrestling highlights on television when his mobile phone rang. It was Angela. Dave sighed and tried to force a more cheery demeanour than he actually felt.

‘Hello, Ange.’ He said brightly.

‘Hiya, how you doing?’ She asked.

‘Yeah, not too bad.’ 

‘What are you upto?’

Dave glanced at the wrestling show on television.

‘Just having a brew and watching TV.’ He replied, neglecting to mention the wrestling show on screen.

‘I just wanted to give you a quick call to apologise, to say sorry about having to cancel again.’

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’ Dave said, not attempting to hide the disappointment from his voice.

‘It’s just I’ve got a lot on right now.’ Angela said.

‘Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. We can go out another time, when you’re less busy.’ Dave said.

She was quiet for a long moment, then she spoke. 

‘It’s my baby-sitter, she keeps letting me down.’ She admitted.

‘Sorry? Baby-sitter?’ Dave said.

‘I have a ten-year-old son. I probably should have mentioned that earlier.’ Angela said.

‘That’s lovely. That’s great.’

‘Really?’ Angela said.

‘Yeah, sure. I thought you weren’t interested when you cancelled.’

‘I’m as gutted as you are about having to cancel. My baby-sitter would rather go out with her friends than look after Josh. She agrees to look after him, I make plans, and then she gets a better offer on the day, when her friends are going out or there’s a party somewhere.’ Angela said. 

‘I could come to you tonight instead, if you fancy? We could have a takeaway pizza, a few drinks, and put a film on when Josh has gone to bed. No baby-sitter necessary. How does that sound? Of course, if you think it’s too soon we can do it another time.’ Dave said.

‘That sounds lovely.’ Angela said. Even on the other end of the phone, Dave could tell she was smiling.

Half an hour later, wearing a freshly ironed shirt, Dave knocked on Angela’s front door. 

‘Thank you so much for this.’ She said.

‘No worries. Thanks for having me.’

Angela looked nervous and awkward as she showed him into the living room. Dave sensed she didn’t introduce too many people to her son. He felt honoured. 

A boy in t-shirt and jogging bottoms was sitting on the sofa watching television.

‘This is Joshua.’ Angela gestured to her son.

Josh glanced away from the television and said hello.

‘Hello, mate. Nice to meet you.’ Dave said, giving the boy a thumbs-up.

‘Mum says we’re having pizza.’ Josh said.

Dave went to reply, when he noticed what the boy was watching on television.

‘You’re watching the wrestling?’ Dave asked.

Josh nodded.

‘Fantastic.’ Dave said, perching on the arm of the sofa.

‘You can’t beat the wrestling.’ Dave said. ‘Who do you think will win in the big title match next weekend?’

‘Barbarian, no question.’ Josh said.

‘I think Vader will beat him.’ Dave replied.

‘No chance.’ Josh said.

Angela placed a hand gently on his arm. 

‘You really watch the wresting?’ She asked.

‘I’m a massive wrestling fan. I probably should have mentioned that sooner.’ Dave said with a grin.

She kissed him on the cheek.

‘I’ll go and get the pizza menus.’ Angela said.

By Chris Platt

From: United Kingdom