Letting Go
/Simple Sue's thought of the day:
(letting go)
Let's say I've got a very expensive ring. My friend wants to wear it so I let her. I think she surely knows how valuable it is and that it's important to me. The next day, I see my ring laying in a pile of shit. I dig it out, clean it up, and I can't believe my friend didn't take better care of my ring than that! I feel hurt and betrayed, but I immediately start reasoning in my head how this could've happened.
I wait, expecting my friend to call. After no call I went to see my friend and told her where I had found my ring. She says she's glad I found it and wants to wear it again. I hesitate, but this time I explain to her that this is a very expensive ring and it is very important to me. I tell her I'll let her wear it, but she needs to take very good care of it and not let anything happen to it.
The next day, I again find my ring barely sticking out of a pile of shit! Again, I dig it out and clean it up. This time, I don't wait. I go immediately to my friend. I'm upset and demand an explanation. Again, my friend expresses gratitude that I found my ring. And again, she wants to wear it.
Although I'm shocked that she even had the nerve to ask, I let her. But this time I show her pictures of my great grandma wearing that same ring. I show her where other people have sold rings like that and the amount of money they sold for. I again explained to her that she had to take care of it and not let anything happen to it.
The next day, once again, there's my ring in a pile of shit! I'm hurt, angry, and shocked! How could she do this to me! Without even bothering to clean it, crying and angry, I go see my friend. She dismissed my tears and anger, turned the faucet on, and handed me a wash cloth. When the ring is clean, she takes it from me, puts it on, and says she'll do better. By now, I know she understands the value of it! I know she knows it's hurts me to find it covered in shit! So I tell her that she has to take better care of it! I let her know that if she doesn't take care of it this time, then I won't let her wear it again.
The next day, I am again shocked, hurt, and angry when I find my ring in a pile of shit! My friend again dismisses my feelings, skips the gratitude and just demands that I let her wear it, saying that I've let her wear it this long so it must not be as bad as I make it seem. I'm unhappy with how it went, but still, I let her wear it.
The next day, guess what happens?
This is a ridiculous story, right? Absolutely stupid! Nobody is that ignorant! Who would keep letting their friend wear the ring? Why would you even call that person a friend? Why is it just a normal day to be looking at piles of shit? So much stupidity here! Ridiculous story!
Here, how about this scenario? We give our love to someone assuming they know it's value. We feel hurt and betrayed when we find out our love was treated shitty. We clean it up and hand it back with explanations, tears, anger, demands, etc. We do this over and over, hurting every single time we find the love we give covered in shit. It becomes a daily habit to look for shit to find our love, just so we can give it back. Yet we don't see how ridiculous that is!
I wish I could go back to when my kids were little and tell them this story. I wish someone would have told it to me. It's so important to know how to let go of people who don't value you and move on in life. They don't see your value because they don't care. They don't deserve your tears, explanations, or repeated chances. There's nothing you can say or do that's gonna change them.
If you want to be loved, valued, and respected, then you've gotta start by loving and respecting yourself. When you give your love to someone only to find it in a pile of shit, pick it up, clean it off, and keep it away from whoever didn't take care of it. They don't deserve your love, and you don't owe them anything. Too often, we get angry at people for not doing for us, what we should've done for ourselves.
Letting go of people who don't value you is such an important skill.
By Simple Sue
From: United States