Dark Thoughts

Grandmother shared something a bit scary with me. At first, I ignored it. Then I reached out for help. I didn't want my grandmother's dark thoughts to end up in suicide.

————

My grandmother was sitting quietly in her favorite chair meditating, she said: “Susy, something is thumping at the corners of my mind.” I wanted to understand what was going on in her brain; however, I was late and needed to rush to my job. The following day, I sat down next to her, after she repeated the same phrase. “Nana, what thoughts are bumping around in your head today?” Her answer disturbed me. “Susy, the something that’s bouncing around in my mind is rapping hard with dark images.” I asked: “What do you mean, Nana?” She told me not to worry about her, looked up at me with melancholy eyes, and headed to her bedroom. 

I was unsure of who to ask for help. Should I consult a medical professional or a religious person? Were the dark images slamming about in her brain hallucinations or poltergeist? Was she thinking about suicide? I called my therapist and asked him to come over the next day. 

My therapist showed up at 10am the next day with flowers for Nana and coffee for me. We all sat down in the parlor after Nana put the flowers into her favorite vase. “Nana, please tell us about what has been moving about in your thoughts during your meditation time. We are concerned about the dark images that you saw recently.” Nana’s countenance changed from joyful to contemplative. She replied: “Yes, I described my images as dark because I was recalling a time when the grandchildren were tapping on a large oak tree sending messages to each other at twilight time. The something that knocked at the corners of my mind are these memories of times long ago.” The three of us decided to have monthly coffee chats moving forward. I am so grateful that I called for help and that Nana was merely thinking about things in the past. This situation could have taken a vastly different turn.

By Debby Hackbarth

From: United States

Website: https://www.deborahhackbarth.com

Facebook URL: https://www.facebook.com/haarthasheart