Always Bennie

Janice had a serious crush on Bennie in high school. She has never forgotten him. They meet again at their 20th high-school reunion.

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It was always Bennie in high school. Bennie was handsome, smart, a star athlete, popular with everyone, and Janice loved him, or thought she loved him. At least she had a crush on him, and that must be the same as love, or so she decided when she was sixteen and a sophomore.

But Bennie paid no attention to Janice. He liked Audrey. Audrey was pretty, smart, a star athlete, popular with everyone, and Bennie loved her. Or he had a crush on her. Or at least he paid a lot of attention to her.

Janice would sometimes stare at herself in the mirror and make an assessment. "I don't look too bad, but I'm no Audrey. I'm smart, but I'm no Audrey. I am definitely not an athlete. Why should Bennie pay any attention to me?"

For three years Janice spent her time pining for Bennie, wanting to date Bennie, wanting to be with him forever. She was usually daydreaming about him, trying to find out where he hung out, and sometimes met him "by accident" in a school hallway or on the street. They never had much of a conversation during these encounters.

Then high school was over, and Janice went to college and became an elementary school teacher. Eventually she married Harold, an upright man who sold insurance. Harold seemed to be quite taken with Janice, and Janice in turn pretended to be passionately in love with Harold. Still, she pined for Bennie, and sometimes even pretended it was Bennie lying next to her in bed.

She never told Harold about Bennie. It was her deep, dark secret, meant only for herself and her daydreams. She never dreamed about Bennie during the night, which Janice found frustrating. Why was Harold popping up in her dreams, smiling at her and sometimes rescuing her from stupid predicaments that happen only in dreams? She wanted her dreams to be about Bennie, and only about Bennie, doing romantic things: buying her flowers, taking her on river cruises in France, buying her jewelry, making love to her. It never happened.

The years went by, and Janice was more or less happy with Harold and her children and her secret fantasies about Bennie, the handsome, smart, talented athlete. Bennie must be a huge success now, though she never saw his name on the internet. She knew he no longer lived in their town but had moved to a more important city, somewhere far away. She never asked anyone about Bennie, in case her curiosity aroused suspicion. After all, more than a few students in high school had known about her crush.

Then, in the twentieth summer after high-school graduation, Janice saw a notice on social media. There was to be a high-school reunion! She was so excited as she broke the news to her husband.

"Harold, I want to go to my twentieth high-school reunion. I've never been to a reunion before."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"That's a funny question. Sure. I don't want to go by myself."

"Wasn't sure you'd want to show off your dull husband."

"Why do you say that?"

"I sell insurance. I'm ordinary looking. Not very witty. Never did that great in sports, though I was a good student. There must have been a lot of guys at your high school that were dreamboats, as people used to say."

Janice stared at him. Had he figured out her secret? "But that was twenty years ago."

"Not such a long time. I still remember the girl I wanted to date in junior year."

"But you didn't date her?"

"No, she was too pretty, smart, athletic, rich, whatever, for me. She dated Gary, who topped the charts in every category: good looks, athletics, intelligence, personality."

"I wonder what happened to them, to Gary and the girl."

"Evelyn. No idea. I never dream about her. I dream about you." Then he gave his wife a kiss.

When the day of the reunion came, she almost wanted to plead a headache and stay home. That would be cowardly, she decided. She wanted to see Bennie, her dreamboat, and tried to imagine what he would look like twenty years after graduation.

The gathering was a dinner-dance at the Ashleyville Hotel. The ballroom was decorated in the school colors, and various memorabilia from their graduating class were displayed on tripods and on tables.

Janice looked around. "Harold, I don't recognize anyone. Are we in the right place?"

"Must be. A big banner says AHS Class of 2001."

A tall, rather fat man waddled over to Janice. "Hi, Janice. Still in love with me?"

She looked at his face and could see in it the remnants of the young Bennie.

"Bennie. Hi. Nice to see you. How have you been?"

Bennie was holding a large glass of beer. He took a swallow. "Not too bad. I married Audrey. Boy, was that a mistake. Too stuck on herself. It was all about her, all the time."

"So you're divorced?"

"Not exactly."

"Is Audrey here?"

"Yeah, she's around somewhere."

Then suddenly, there was Audrey, still looking beautiful. "There you are, Big Guy. What kind of lies have you been telling Janice? Hi, Janice. You're looking good, better than you looked in high school. Funny how some people get better as they age. Like fine wine, I guess." And she laughed the same silvery laugh she had at seventeen. "So do you still have a crush on my chubby husband?"

Janice felt herself blush. "No, of course not. That was so long ago. I'm happily married. This is my husband, Harold." Janice turned and gave Harold a tentative smile.

Harold shook Bennie's hand. "Happy to meet you. Janice doesn't talk about high school very much, but she sure did want to come to this reunion."

Bennie laughed a bit too loudly. "She probably wanted to see me. Boy, did she have a crush on me! It seemed to last forever." He laughed again. "Maybe she still does. How about it, Janice?"

Harold put his arm around his wife. Then Janice said something she did not expect to say. "I did have a crush on you, and over the years I had fond memories of you. You were my idol. I'm glad I got to see you again. Now I realize that I wasted my time pining for you."

"Well, listen to that! You've got spunk, Janice. You're not the mouse you used to be. Wanna dance?" Bennie held out his arms.

"No thanks. I want to dance with my husband. Maybe you should dance with Audrey. She's your wife."

"Hey, isn't that Isabel standing over there? Maybe she'd like to dance. You weren't the only one with a crush on me."

And Bennie walked away.

By Anita G. Gorman

From: United States

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