Tip #8 - Avoid Description Bombs
/A common problem writers face is the balance between when to direct a reader’s attention to something in order for the information to be retained or, alternatively, when to hold back. Different situations call for different levels of specificity and there are general guidelines to understand when to do so in order to optimize the literature.
Although, learning to show a story versus telling each and every event and description is a writer’s main struggle during the development of their literature, balancing that off with knowing when and where is the other side of that same coin. As writers, we struggle to trust our readers to understand our work as intended and we constantly lean into holding their hand through every paragraph, sentence, and word. The need to describe every scene and detail to the most specific tidbits is highly compelling. This needs to be resisted. Avoided at all costs. One of the most important things a writer needs to learn to do is trust their readers, but it’s difficult because we don’t trust ourselves. We believe perhaps we’re not sharing enough for the content to be understandable.
With these next few ideas, philosophies, tips and tricks I hope to share a few ways to gain the confidence to trust your writing skills and your reader’s capacity to understand what message and information you convey.
Not everything needs to be obvious.
Don’t Be Redundant
1. First and most importantly, when information has become obvious by simply reading through the narrative there is no need to be redundant. Never explain something that becomes obvious through contextual information. Another way to think of this same concept is that a character should never suddenly realize something. There should be logical steps that lead to knowing whatever retained information the character possesses and the reader should feel as though this is the case. Thus, removing the need to point directly at it whatever said information is.
Example:
A. As Zack runs through the forest each step he takes is met with a squish. Mud splashes up covering his jeans to the knee. Trees still soaked and dripping. The fresh scent of damp nature fills the air following the recent storm.
[Incorrect]
B. As Zack runs through the forest each step he takes is met with a squish. Mud splashes up covering his jeans to the knee. Trees still soaked and dripping. The fresh scent of damp nature fills the air.
[Correct]
In this example, by reading the scene alone it becomes obvious to the reader that it was recently raining. There is never a mention of the rain, but it is eluded to through what Zack experiences in the scene. Adding a line such as “The fresh scent of damp nature fills the air following the recent storm” adds a bit of unneeded redundancy to the text. The reader already knows it was raining without ever “pointing” at it.
Not All Details Matter
2. Not all information is required for the reader to know. Much of the character backgrounds and behaviors unrelated to the core narrative don’t need to be included. They merely need to be known by the writer for character and world consistency. Physical details of characters can be revealed naturally and as needed. The reader should grow to learn and understand the characters and worlds, not be given description bombs with hopes they retain every last detail. The writer needs to hold back and keep things for the reader to learn over time. What is left for the reader to learn if all things were revealed in chapter one?
Example:
A. Early in the story: As Zack came upon the cabin in the woods he became uneasy. Unsure of what lurked inside he approached with caution. He remembers encountering a similar situation in his youth. That time it turned out to be nothing more than a child’s paranoia, but that fear stuck with him through adulthood. The hairs on the back of his neck raised and his arms got goosebumps as a chill ran down his spine as he got closer.
Later in the story: “Zack’s always been scared of wandering the woods since he was a child. It’s no wonder he panicked back there.”
Zack was terrified now just as he was weeks earlier when confronted with the cabin. All branching out of his childhood experiences.
[Incorrect]
B. Earlier in the story: As Zack came upon the cabin in the woods he became uneasy. Unsure of what lurked inside he approached with caution. The hairs on the back of his neck raised and his arms got goosebumps as a chill ran down his spine as he got closer.
Later in the story: Zack was once again terrified of this trip through the woods. He didn’t expect it to come so soon after the last.
[Correct]
In example A. the reader attempts to justify the fear of Zack by assuring the reader that there is a root to the fear he feels. In example B. it becomes obvious to the reader that Zack fears the woods although they don’t know why. It’s just obvious. And this information doesn’t need to be included for the understanding of this fear to be clear unless it’s a specific piece that will become important to the story later. If the information provided doesn’t directly relate to the core narrative it’s merely additional unneeded detail. Character is successfully revealed just by allowing us to understand the fear he feels regardless of origin.
Disguise Descriptions
3. When something requires being addressed or “pointed at” it needs to be done in a subtle fashion that blends naturally into the rest of the narrative. Nothing should feel like a description. Descriptions slow down stories and that isn’t the point. The goal should be to convey information to the reader without letting them know that this was the purpose. “Sprinkling” the information where necessary is key. Where you create the most “noise” in the narrative, action scenes or intense emotional moments could easily hide details to be remembered.
Example:
A. “Hey, Zack. You think you could talk to your cute friend for me? I’ve had a crush on her since last school year and didn’t have the courage to say a thing. But now that I know you’re friends you can put in a good word for me!” Adam spoke with his eyes locked on the girl. She had flowing hair, bright like a sunflower and eyes reflective of the ocean. “Do it as a favor. I’ll owe you one, man!”
[Incorrect]
B. Hey, Zack. You think you could talk to your cute blond friend for me? I’ve had a crush on her since last school year and didn’t have the courage to say a thing. I keep getting stuck staring at her clear glass eyes and I know I’m coming off like an awkward creep. Adam spoke never looking away from the girl. “Do it as a favor. I’ll owe you one, man!”
[Correct]
In example A. there is a sentence dedicated entirely to describing the alluring features in Melissa. The only issue is that it comes off as sentences dedicated to the description and nothing more. In example B. the descriptions are merged into the general discussion successfully obstructing their descriptive nature and are simply more conversation which the reader learned from without knowing they were meant to learn at that moment. In example A. the story stops for this descriptive sentence while example B. allows the story to feel as though it never took a pause and the exact same information was conveyed.
Additionally, anything new introduced to the world (locations, people, things) should be introduced as natural parts of the world unless the point is that they are not. No character or narrator should just be aware of something strange or have an odd feeling about someone or something that gives no sign of such unless it is the point.
Intentionally Losing Information
4. Not all information needs to be retained. A clever writing trick is introducing something to the reader and then quickly taking their attention away from it so that they know it but forget it for the time. This allows the ability to include it in a future revelation that then brings the information back to the surface. This trick is well used in mystery novels where the reader should be given the information and be able to solve the mystery themselves but it should be hidden so well that they don’t, yet don’t feel like anything was held back. The mystery should be difficult, not impossible. This idea can be fit into any type of narrative if done correctly and could be used as a device to reveal characters or key clues to a bigger picture.
The point of writing really comes down to showing the reader a seamless world without interruption. And the goal of the writer is to forever optimize the writing for this purpose. As writers, we’re always seeking for the next realization that will take our writing to the next level, but we get there one step at a time. One lesson at a time. And the most important places to start are always to first improve on showing versus telling and second to know when even showing is not needed. It’s tricky. There is an infinite balance and cycle of fine-tuning that goes into a finished work, but I promise every step is worth it.
Exercise:
A good exercise to practicing these tools is to write down ten characteristics of a character (five physical, five of personality) and write a 500 words flash fiction conveying these details discretely within the 500 words without it being obvious to the reader that they are descriptions. Hide the details in actions, hide the details behind emotions, hide the details in the environment or beneath dialogue. So long as they go undetected be get known.
Hopefully, this tip has been of some assistance. Remember to keep writing.