Get yourself together baby. No one said it's going to be easy, but it's needed...



Scattered sentiments stem from insecurities. From being told ‘no’ when you really want a ‘yes’. From pretending the ‘no’ didn’t sting. Your heart sings for one, but your mind and body crave another. Trying to escape the past but constantly reminded of that lover. From the memories to the picture prompts you so frequently revisit; desperate to paint a different image of what once was and now is. You cannot rewrite history. It is what it is, now focus on what you want it to be. Lying to yourself about what is wanted versus what is needed, what is new and exciting compared to what is painfully repeated. Afraid of letting go thinking it means that you will fall yet falling prey to the lure of the familiar every waking day. Insanity is doing the same thing insistently and expecting the outcome to be different. Acknowledging the words of others but to your own subconscious you do not listen. It whispers wishes you directly choose to ignore. Satisfying others at your own expense based on false pretenses of future commitments from someone you adore but possibly abhors you. Ignores you.  Takes you for granted and simply does not accept you for who you are as you come. Constantly picking you apart until you become undone, so they’ve won. Walking away from the dismantled pieces seeking peace in someone else in return. You naively believe that the ‘no’ is soft and that someday you will break through to get yourself a solid ‘maybe’ from an ex, blocking off the next from giving you a ‘yes’ from the door. Energy depleted the moment you conceded to the notion that you’re undeserving of more.