Breakdown

076/365

Take a break before you break....

-VQ

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Mental breakdowns. In need of a tune-up, oil change, some basic TLC. Check engine light is on and blinking but no one’s checking. Pushing past limitations with no hesitation knowing damn well I should be pulled over on the side of the road somewhere waiting for Triple A to save me. I just can’t afford to stop right now. The repairs might cost me more than I’m willing to pay, yet if I continue on like this a malfunction is bound to happen. It’s only a matter of time before the gas will run empty, battery depleted, tires bald from burning out – hydroplaning – spinning wheels on asphalt going nowhere fast. Blasting the music to drown the sounds of system failure. Ignoring the shuddering underneath the hood, turning the tunes up to block out the mechanical whines of a faulty mechanism.

I have the number in my phone, but I fail to call for help believing I’ll be cheated by scammers only looking for a come up from my misfortune. So, I keep on driving. Vehicle swerving on the road unsteady in its pace telling myself I’ll make it. Putting myself and others in danger with my brokenness having convinced myself that trudging on is strength. If only I would stop to address it and fix it, lives could be saved but like a steady downpour on my withered windshield it’s hard to see past my rage. I’m doing 80 down a one-way now lost in the tempo of one of my favorite tapes that when a passerby decides to cross my path I make a mistake and forget how to brake.