It seems silly but it's serious…


I vow never to imprison my breasts in a bra ever again for they have done nothing to deserve the shame that comes along with bearing them. It is not my fault that society has overly sexualized my chest to the point where they are more acceptable as a man’s play things than for the nourishment of our children, therefore; I shall set them free. I will no longer torture them with padded walls and sharp silver linings stabbing at my rib cage like electric prods to cattle: demanding them- forcing them to stay inside. Thick tight straps wrapping around my back like a straitjacket, an expensive cancer-causing contraption contrived around lies to constrict and confine us. To smother our essence, to add shame to our natural beauty. And all this commotion over some fatty tissue and a pair of nipples. This is what the world is so repulsed yet so riveted by.

Well guess what? I’m not going to trap my breasts in a sweatbox because you cannot contain yourself at the sight of my god given appendages. If they make you feel uncomfortable look away. Your staring makes me just as (or much more) uncomfortable. If they fill you with the unbearable urge to suckle them then according to Freudian theory, there are some unresolved issues in your oral stage of psychosexual development and I would suggest seeking the help of a professional. If you just don’t like them simply because you don’t find them aesthetically pleasing, feel free to ignore them whilst keeping your comments to yourself as I do when I’m imposed upon by a stranger’s body odor which I find to be way more offensive than a woman’s breasts.

When did a bra become law anyway? And why aren’t men inflicted the same kind of punishment for parading around with their shirts off while their hairy sweaty slabs of D-cupped man tits swing freely in the wind? As if the sight of their fur encased meat patties melting in the hot sun is aesthetically pleasing when I’m just trying to enjoy a burger on a lovely summer day. If they don’t have to cover up, then neither should we. Ladies, let your boobies breathe and tell these fools to mind their own boobs. My boobs, my business!