Lost The Keys

Honesty and sincerity are profound struggles we encounter from day to day.
In this piece Jack expresses his experiences with being upfront to himself.

No phrases around to display the profound
Faces down in the dark places
From which I can’t get out
Empty pages, stuck again
Rage pint up, grab a pen
Ritalin the bad man
No answers, but don’t want to hang man
Doubt is cancer, plastered, back of the mind
A disaster, wasting the time, short lifespan
The taste? Wasted life
”But Captain, the scanner’s shot out!”
”We need a new plan of attack to get out!”
Cannonball the neanderthal
Enchant ‘em, get mannin’ at the control
I’ve been plannin’, call Ganon, start tearin’ down them walls
Raise his damn cortisol, stroke that ego
Bring out the evil, using the ink to mislead him
Don’t let him blink, don’t even let him wink
I want to see what he thinks
I want to read what he thinks
Pull up, last car in the caravan, choked up in a white sedan
Smoked up to hide, my hands shake rough
The coward, I’ll be here for hours, out of sight
Gonna miss the call hidden behind these paper walls
Affliction, strong addiction to workahol
And self-confliction, love the friction
Wishing to breathe, tight constrictions squeeze
Non-fiction, please let me speak my convictions
Need to rid them, to keep a single vision, consistent
No waterfall, the gate grows stronger, faster, tall
Holdin’ back the flood, restrictions apply
I just want to open my mind
And my third eye
And I try, and I try, and I try
Trapped enough to cry out “why?”
Get no response from the sky
Blotter to the eyes
Now I see it all, prizes
Fly swatter for the snakes in disguise, hiss
Size this, accomplish where I put my mind in
I’m motherfucking contradiction
And I’ll keep insisting there’s no competition
My biggest problem is me
Still trying to find all the keys
To my insides, don’t bother me
Or find out why, no one’s around to speak, of encounters with me
My thoughts are so dark and bleak
Black as night, with shrieks
Shadows that creep
They’ll see you through me
Then rest in pieces
They’ll shred you, sharp teeth
Won’t pick out the meat
And I’m just trying to be the most me I can be
Whether I’m emotional or cold
Hope you know I’m on a roll
Two sixes, looking for the third
Have heard?
Word? Well, then shit, lets see
Lets go get it, it better be where you said it
Write a letter in case your wrong
No one’ll ever see that face come home
Trying to figure out all my triggers
Turns out I’m so bottled up I might be a serial killer
Quiver staring at the mirror
The door to sincere might be my greatest fear
But the bodies of the hotties carpeting the floor
Covered in shotties from the night before
It’s a message, I need to work on my methods
Need to work on projection
Better deal with rejection
Better handle erections
Better learn all these lessons