Unhappy Kidult

149/365

Alone
No one to hold in the cold at home
Bold child with a smart dome
He’s kinda weird
Stands out
Wants to disappear when mom spaz out
But this kid is persistent
And stands his ground
‘cause he has a vision
And he’ll scream it out loud
Even if it gets his ass beat
Let it be what it’ll be

Jaded and calculated
Emotions get in the way
Eaten up inside
He feels hated
Numb every day
In a drug den
He makes friends
Relies on them to vent
When events get out of hand
And he can’t stand it
He calls them family

Fuck the blood line
Act out
Commit crimes
Rage on the street sometimes
Just to be in enough danger to feel alive
100 miles per hour might be enough to risk a life
But it still felt to him
Like he died inside
Long ago
Somewhere along the ride
He wasn’t worried if the car got hit and flipped and flung him out
Onto the street
Arms and legs flying all around

His thoughts are screaming
Straining their voices
Draining noises
Poisoning this poor kid

But what the fuck
Born outta luck?
That can’t be how it goes
So he sticks to his goals
It was a struggle
But he hoped to see the light
At the end of the tunnel
And when he didn’t
He didn’t quit
He drew one on a page and chased that shit instead
With a paper and pen

He wrote about dream
Where he had seen
He had achieve being free
And set out to make that fictions a reality

Yet here he is wasting away
The way he was those day
The ability to do what he wants
Has been captured and retained
And somehow he remains unhappy
It’s too late to connect with family

And he knows it but he tries
fighting the tears built up in his eyes
Reaching for something in the skies
That might not exist inside
The universe he resides in