Zero Equals Zero

What if some zeros added up to more than zero?

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When it comes to equal rights, nothing is more equal than zero. There is no way zero can be discriminated into being, more, or less. Zeros, whether plus, minus, or divided, remain equally committed to a sublime infinity of equality, equality, equality.

What a wonderful world it would be if only we could all be zeros floating equally in perfect equilibrium. Glass ceilings would be transparently impossible. Voting restrictions unnecessary. Segregated bathrooms pointless. Wars not worth waging. Envy, pride, and ambition, only abstractions, interesting only to academic theorists.

We could all rest easy in the vacuous harmony of nothingness.

There would be no need for righteous demonstrations demanding equality for anything. No need for reparations. No need for equal-rights amendments. No need for equal-pay-for-equal-work. No need for any sort of discrimination.

No need for much of anything. We would all be equally nothing at all.

But what if some zeros started plotting to become ones, twos, threes, or even more? Intolerable! Unthinkable! We zeros must stick together to fight individuality. There’ll be trouble if zeros start thinking of themselves as having individual and different worth. Next thing you know they’ll start thinking they deserve more than the other zeros just because they add-up to more.

How unfair it would be if some zeros added-up to more than other zeros. Conflict would surely follow. Striving leads to inequality, to unequal valuation, to some zeros being worth more than other zeros.

Reflect on the horror; zero after zero corrupted into imaging themselves more than zero. They might even start thinking of themselves as individuals; individuals that would push-back against being thought nothing more than just another zero in our valiant struggle for equality.

This sort of rebellion might end in individuals becoming as important as groups. Perhaps more important. No! no! Impossible! That would never do. Individualism is an existential threat to our collectivist priorities. Once zeros start thinking for themselves what will they think of the congregate thinking for them?

If any individual in a group started thinking for herself mightn’t she also start thinking that what’s best for the group might not be best for her. Might not the same be true of any zero collectively categorized by race, sex, or creed.

No, never! We must remain united in solidarity.

The way of Zero is the only way to Ultimate Equality.

By K. L. Shipley

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