My father passed away two days ago, these are the only words I can use to describe how I'm feeling

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There is no second chances.

There is no light before.

I dreamed my entire life of you,

Your presence to secure.

The missing pieces of myself,

That I had been longing for.

There isn't a single moment,

I would relive once more.

I tried to forgive the living,

But in death, I tallied the score.

If I can not forgive my father,

How can I be my girl's mentor?

All the regret and inhibitions,

Turned into pain and remorse.

No time to make ammends,

What were we fighting for?

You came into my life suddenly,

For the timing I felt abhor.

I reveled in my own pain,

Never even considered yours.

For the absence of my father,

Caused my life a great uproar.

Unpacking all those feelings,

Was like an empty drawer.

How could I not forgive you,

You wanted nothing more.

I made your years suffering,

Worse then I could ever bore.

I feel terrible for all the things,

I know I continued to ignore.

If only I had thought of you,

Had it in me to be mature.

I should have called you often,

I should have visited you more.

All the things I could've done,

That I can not do anymore.

Like hug you and get a wiff of,

That cologne you always wore.

Lost in life, found in death.

It's quite the metaphor.

I can't believe how this feels,

How my heart can feel so sore.

For to be taken away so soon

Is something un-wished for.

If I had a second chance,

I'd do all I could and more.

I'd tell you that I love you.

I'd mean it to the core.

If I knew the hurt I feel today,

I'd have forgiven you for sure.

By Pieces of Pisces Poetry