Love and Appiness

Paul Anderson looked around the function room. His cousin’s 30th birthday party was in full swing. He always found this kind of bash depressing. Everyone always seemed to be coupled off and loved up. And, as usual, he was on his own. His aunt plonked herself down on the empty chair beside him. Paul took a swig of his pint and waited for the inevitable grilling.

‘How are you doing, Paul, love?’ His aunt asked, slurring from the wine.

‘Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.’ 

‘Are you seeing anyone? Have you got a girlfriend, love?’ She asked.

‘No, it’s just me.’

‘That’s a shame.’ She said.

‘Honestly, I’m happy as I am.’ He replied.

His aunt gave him a sympathetic look, before returning to the dance floor. As he watched his relatives drunk-dance to Diana Ross, Paul decided he would have one more drink, then make a move for home. He had stayed more than long enough to be polite. And while he had insisted to his relatives that he was fine and happy being single, deep down, it really did upset him. Where was his person, his other half? Why couldn’t he find love and romance in his life? Every advert on television seemed to have a happy couple, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, holding hands.  

As he headed to the bar for one more drink, the DJ was playing the slow songs. The dance floor was suddenly filled with couples, embracing each other and swaying in time with the cheesy love songs. Here we go, he thought. As if reading his thoughts, the DJ spoke into the microphone.

‘It’s that time of the evening, folks. Time to take your loved one by the hand and join us for a slow dance.’ 

Paul swore under his breath before taking a sip of his pint.

By Monday morning Paul had put the misery of the Saturday night birthday party behind him. He was happy enough on his own, he had plenty of interests and hobbies to occupy him. He had a large circle of friends too. What did it matter if he was single? He should just ignore the rom-com and lovey-dovey rubbish the media tried to sell. If he did meet someone, he might be unhappy in the relationship. Knowing his luck, he’d be in one of those couples you see arguing and snapping at each other in the supermarket. 

As he pulled into the office car-park an advert came on the car radio. The new dating app was free to download and guaranteed results. If you are looking for love then look no further. The awkwardness and the frustration of Saturday night came to his mind. He had nothing to lose really. The app was free so it wasn’t like he was paying monthly for nothing. He nodded. It was certainly worth thinking about. If the RingO app was half as good as it sounded, then at the very least, he would be able to go on a couple of dates. Maybe if he went out with a couple of people and it didn’t work out, then he would be happier to be on his own. 

As he ate his sandwiches in the office canteen, he was still mulling things over. Should he go for it? Should he download this app and see what happened? It surely had to be worth a shot. Worse case, and it didn’t work out, he wasn’t actually paying for the app so why not? Like so many of the online businesses these days, they must make their money through advertising.

That evening, settled on the sofa with a cup of tea, he went on his mobile phone and into the app store. Sure enough, the RingO dating app was listed, and true to their word it was listed as a free download. Wondering quite where this journey would take him, he held his breath and clicked on install now.

He spent the next half an hour filling in his details, his likes and dislikes, his hobbies and interests, and what he would look for in a partner. He uploaded a photo of himself to complete his profile. He chose a holiday photo where he was wearing sunglasses, and had a pint of Spanish beer in front of him. 

From what he read there was two ways this would work. Firstly he could go through the list of singles who matched his profile, and reach out to them through the app messenger service. The other way would be to wait until someone reached out to him. 

Congratulations, you are now registered and set up on RingO. Your journey to true love starts now. 

Paul rolled his eyes, yeah, we’ll see about that. He would see what happened next. Maybe over the weekend, he would scroll through and see who was out there for him. He would set aside an hour on Saturday afternoon, before meeting up with friends for a meal in and Indian restaurant, to go through and check out the profiles.

Two days later his mobile phone pinged. He was surprised to see the notification was that he had a new message on the dating app. He was suddenly quite nervous and excited. He had never done anything like this.  He read the message and was immediately intrigued.

Hey, my name is Lucy. I saw your profile and you seem pretty cool. Just wanted to say hi and wondered if you wanted to chat. Xx 

Paul read the message several times. He had never been told he was ‘pretty cool’ and in all his twenty-six years had never had a member of the opposite sex want to chat to him. He waited an hour before replying. He didn’t want to come over as too strong. In the past he had scared off women he had liked by going all-guns-blazing and being too keen. This time, if he was going to get anywhere on the app, then he had to play it cool. 

He clicked on the profile of this Lucy. According to her profile, she was twenty-nine years old, worked in an office, and listed books, films and TV, and socialising with friends as her main interests. He clicked on her profile picture. Lucy had brown-red hair down to her shoulders and wore thin-framed glasses. Paul liked what he had seen on her profile so far. Her details mentioned she was from the far side of the city. Not too far away, he thought, if they did end up getting on well enough to warrant meeting up. 

He laughed in delighted amusement at the thought. He assumed he’d be single forever and yet here he was pondering if he would hit it off well enough with someone to meet face to face. 

When he had decided enough time had passed, he typed out a chatty, friendly, but not too friendly, message, saying it was good to hear from her, that he was new to the app and dating in general and that he would love to chat. He finished his message with xx. He decided that wasn’t too flirty as he was following her lead. If Lucy had not put kisses at the end of her text, then he wouldn’t have done either. Geez, this was a mine-field, he thought.

A while later Lucy replied. Again her tone was nice and light, but also rather friendly. Please to meetcha! Paul was careful to match her energy and friendship levels.

Over the next few days the messages continued. The messages would be going back on forth and were so friendly. It soon felt like he had known Lucy for ages, and that she was a real friend, rather than someone he had found through a dating app, and who he hadn’t actually met yet. Paul would spend his lunch-hours messaging Lucy. When his colleagues asked who he was texting, he said with a blush, the words feeling so strange to say out loud, that it was a woman he was kind-of seeing. 

The following weekend, Lucy messaged to ask if he fancied a chat. Paul replied asking, isn’t that what they were already doing? 

We’re texting, hun. Fancy an actual phone conversation?  Came the reply.

The feelings of nervous excitement came to him once again. It would be amazing to speak to her on the phone. It would be a chance to hear her voice, to hear what she actually sounded like. He replied that he’d love to have an actual conversation, and would try to keep the bad jokes to a minimum. Lucy replied straight away suggesting the Sunday afternoon, and that he should crack on the naff jokes. 

Preparing for the phone call, Paul felt like he was actually going on a date. He tried to practise and rehearse what he was going to say, but also in a way that didn’t feel forced or unnatural. He told himself he could do this, that he had been messaging Lucy non-stop for over a week, and she clearly liked his vibe so far. 

Just after two o’clock on the Sunday afternoon, his mobile phone rang. The call was coming through the RingO app, and Lucy’s name and profile picture appeared on screen. Paul took a deep breath and picked up, saying, hello, you. 

They chatted and laughed and joked for just over an hour. The chat flowed so easily, and Lucy actually laughed at his jokes. They had so much in common and were on the same wavelength. Talking to her was just so easy. He had never hit it off with anyone like this. It was early days, but he couldn’t help thinking that the romantic films may have had something in them after all. Maybe there was someone out there for everyone after all. 

He hung up the phone grinning. He punched the air like he’d just scored the winning goal in the cup final. This really did seem to be happening. He was actually in touch with a woman he liked, and who seemed to like him. Still grinning, he called his parents to let them know of the surprising developments in his previously non-existent love life. His mother shrieked with delight down the phone when he told her. She asked when she could meet this mystery woman. Paul laughed and told her to steady on, he hadn’t met her himself yet. 

In the weeks that followed the messages and phone calls continued. They would send each other picture messages too, Lucy would send a grumpy selfie on a Monday morning at her desk, or send a video clip as she sang along with a song on the radio. Paul would film himself telling what became bad joke of the day. The pictures and videos progressed into video calls.

Paul had butterflies the first time he saw Lucy live on the screen. She was just as lovely as her photos, just as he’d imagined. To see and hear her, even virtually, was just magical. 

His friends teased him about this woman, his love-interest, that he hadn’t actually met face to face, they would use words like cat-fish, and suggest she wasn’t who she said she was. Paul would insist he knew her really well and that they were video calling every day, so unless someone had kidnapped this person and was holding her to ransom, forcing her to make these calls, then Lucy was exactly who she said she was. In fact, I probably speak to Lucy more than you speak to your wife. His friends would finally nod in agreement, yes, that’s probably true. And, Paul would add, we actually like each other.

After a few months of constant contact, texts and video calls, of Paul considering her his girlfriend, and Lucy saying she had told her friends about her boyfriend, she messaged suggesting they meet up in person. Paul was delighted. He had been wondering how to broach the subject. The virtual contact was great, and it did mean a lot, but they wouldn’t really know each other until they had actually seen each other in person. Paul read her message over and over. She was asking if he fancied meeting up for a drink in a city-centre bar on Saturday afternoon. 

Sounds like a plan. It will be so cool to finally meet up in person. Paul replied. 

Paul was so excited. He was finally about to meet the woman he had been speaking to for all this time. It felt as though this was the final hurdle, after this, once they had actually met up, there would be no stopping them. 

Paul told all his family and friends that he would be finally meeting up with his girlfriend, the famous Lucy. He explained how Lucy had suggested they meet up for drinks on Saturday afternoon in town. His mother was delighted but urged him not to drink too much, perhaps drink bottles of beer rather than pints, and keep off the whiskey. Paul told her not to worry, he’d be on his best behaviour for the first few times they met anyway. His friends, too, were all rooting for him, hoping it would work out just as well when they met in the flesh. 

As Paul was getting ready for their date on the Saturday morning, he got a video call. It was Lucy.

‘Hello, you. Are you calling to ask me what the dress code is? I’m going smart casual.’ Paul laughed.

‘Sorry, hun, I’m not going to be able to make this afternoon.’

Paul said nothing, trying to keep the disappointment from his face. 

Lucy explained that she was in the office as one of her colleagues was on sick leave. Tim had broken his wrist and would be off for several weeks. 

‘So, here I am, in the flaming office.’ Lucy grumbled, turning the camera to show the office. Paul could see rows of computer monitors behind her. She repeated how sorry she was to have to cancel.  

Paul suggested the weekend after. 

‘Sorry, hun, but work is gonna be manic for the next few weeks. This with Tim has really dropped us in it, and it is coming up to financial year end too.’ Lucy said.

‘Don’t worry about it. We’ll do it another time, when things have calmed down for you.’ Paul said.

‘Honestly, I feel like going round to Tim’s and breaking his other wrist.’ Lucy said, shaking her head. ‘Can I call you tonight when I get home?’

‘Yes, I’d like that.’ Paul said.

‘And I promise I won’t be just moaning about work, okay? I’ll make it up to you, I promise. When work calms down, we’ll go out for a nice romantic meal. My treat.’ Lucy said. 

‘I’ll pick the restaurant and we can argue about the bill on the night, how’s that?’ Paul said.

‘That sounds lovely. Honestly, hun, that will keep me going. The next few weeks are gonna be just awful.’

‘Well, you know where I am. We can still speak on the phone like usual, can’t we?’ 

‘I’ll need you to cheer me up with your daft jokes, I think.’ She said.

She ended the call telling him she’d call him later. 

Paul told himself not to be too harsh on Lucy. It wasn’t her fault that she had to work. He’d had issues at work himself recently, and often had to work late nights to ensure deadlines were met. And she did seem genuinely upset to be letting him down. That was a good sign. She clearly wanted to meet up too. And she had suggested a nice meal when things calmed down. That was a plus too, it wasn’t as if she was cancelling full-stop. If she had said simply that she couldn’t make it then that would have been one thing, but she was insisting they go out in the future, and would call him that night. These things happen, he told himself. The trick was not to over-think, not to look for things and meanings where there are none. One of his friends had thought his girlfriend was messing him around when she cancelled as she had to look after her parents’ dog while they were away. He had suspected she was making excuses, only to be introduced to the wild beast a few weeks later. Then he fully understood why she had to sit with the dog. 

Just after eight-thirty that evening, Lucy video-called. She was back home, her living room in the backdrop of the call. She looked completely drained. She said it had been a long, stressful day and that she was having a glass of cold beer to cheer herself up. Paul raised his own glass. Cheers! They clicked glasses to the screen.

Over the next few weeks Lucy was bogged down with work. She did make time for Paul, still calling and texting regularly. Paul always tried to cheer her up and maybe, he thought, they had grown closer. This was the first stressful time they had gone through as a couple. And they were coming through it. There were no arguments, no fallings out. They were as strong as ever. And finally, when the time was right they would meet, and it would be perfect.

‘I was thinking,’ Lucy said on their video call one evening. ‘when work calms down, do you fancy going away for the weekend?’ 

‘That sounds wonderful. We could go to York or Chester, or maybe North Wales. We can check out some places and see where we fancy.’ Paul said, delighted. 

‘We could even get a nice little lodge somewhere. Lots of walks in the countryside, pub lunches and all that.’ 

Paul agreed, they should definitely do that.

When woke the next morning, he was still thinking of the weekend away with Lucy. That would be delightful. It had to be a good sign that she was suggesting these things. Life may have been difficult right now, but it seemed that the future was with Lucy as his girlfriend.

He headed downstairs and made himself tea and toast. He flopped on the sofa, and flicked on the television. The breakfast news hosts in their smart clothes gave the main headlines.

‘Our main story, dating app RingO is facing scrutiny after it was revealed that the matches it pairs users up with are all AI generated. The app’s owners admit that they pair their customers with an artificial intelligence persona who matches their personality, but deny any wrong-doing. They say that if anyone is unhappy then, as the app is free, then they should simply delete it from their device. There would be no compensation, no refunds as no money has changed hands.’

Paul felt sick, tears stinging his eyes. He knew this was true. He was in no doubt. Suddenly everything made sense. Lucy had seemed like his perfect match, because she had been programmed and designed that way. They grew closer over time as the app discovered more about him. Algorithms, wasn’t that what they called it?  

The operators of this app had played such a cruel trick on him. This was people’s emotions they were messing with. He felt crushed. 

His phone pinged. It was a message from Lucy asking how he was doing this fine morning. Paul tapped out a quick message.

Your app has made the news. Turns out it’s all AI. It would have been nice to know I was playing a computer game. He clicked send.

As soon as the message went through, Lucy video called him. She appeared onscreen looking upset.

‘Paul, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.’ She said.

‘But it’s true? You are AI? You are not real? This is some computer programme, all special effects and CGI?’ Paul asked.

‘Yes, I’m afraid so.’ Lucy said.

‘Which is why we couldn’t meet up, because you don’t exist?’

Lucy nodded.

Paul ended the call. He felt like he had been scammed. The news reports had been detailing for a while how AI could be involved in online financial scams and warning people to be wary. He never suspected that he would be left heart-broken by such a scam. 

The next time his mobile phone rang it was his mother.

‘Morning, love. We’re just watching the news. That dating thing is on the headlines. That’s not your woman, is it? They don’t mean you and Lucy?’ 

‘Yeah, turns out it was all computer-generated. There is no Lucy.’ Paul said, his voice breaking as he spoke.

‘Oh, love, try not to get down about it. You’ll meet someone.’ His mother said.

That evening he joined his friends in the pub. He needed to get out, to have a laugh, to drink a few beers with his mates, and to forget about everything. There was even talk of going for a curry later on. The spicy Indian food would be just the ticket. And, then home for a drop of whiskey before bed. 

The beer and the chat was flowing. Paul was having a great time with his friends. He had just come back from the bar with another round of drinks when one of the lads gave him a nudge. 

‘So, it’s true then?’ Steve asked. ‘This girl of yours isn’t real?’

His friends burst out laughing. Paul forced back the tears and the anger.

‘No, she’s not. It was all AI.’ Paul managed.

‘She was a computer? Like that woman from Tomb Raider?’

‘Like Sonic the Hedgehog!’ Someone else added.

‘Has she left you for Super Mario?’ Another added.

The group erupted into laughter. 

Paul shook his head and grabbed his coat. This was too much. He stormed from the pub, crashing through the doors, out into the night. The jeering had been banter, they would argue, but it had been cutting, humiliating. Would a real friend mock his raw emotions like that?

As well as the agony of finding out Lucy wasn’t real, there was the embarrassment and humiliation of it all. He felt so down about everything. He felt as if he’d had his hopes for the future pulled from him. 

Back home, he went through to the kitchen and poured himself a large measure of whiskey. He perched on the edge of his sofa, sipping his whiskey. He just felt so low. The mocking laughter of his friends rang in his ears. His head pounded with the stress of it all. 

He took out his mobile phone and dialled.

‘Hi, it’s me.’ He said.

‘I’m so glad you called.’

‘I just needed to speak to you.’ Paul said.

‘I’ve missed you.’ Lucy said. 

Paul nodded in agreement, the words stuck in his throat, tears in his eyes once more.

By Chris Platt

From: United Kingdom